Illinois ladies facing bc
Comments
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Michele & Connie - Apologies are not necessary. You are having fun with your kids,etc. We would never forget you girls! LOL Visit when you can...
Brenda - sorry you have the stats to join us! But know that we're here for you 24/7! Best wishes to you.
Jackie - We need hard hats!
Jule - Hang in there...I hope you get some solid answers.
Sharon - Keep us posted about the cyst..."probably" = "usually" = hope...Can't tell you how many cysts I've had throughout my life (my mom even called me the cystokid), so I know - IT'S NOT FUN! But hang in there...keep us posted...how long will you be stateside?
blackjack - You are quite the most thorough and organized reservationist! Thanks for the latest plan. Good luck with your b-t-s efforts/office.
JulieR - I thought I was the only one who got WEIRD symptoms! I can totally understand your concern...try to take it one step at a time...if it continues...call your Dr... I know how frightening ANY and EVERY ache/pain/twinge/etc. can be...I think we all can... My vote is that you wait until AFTER the big day to have your CT...you are going to be just too darned busy girl! Good luck finding the PERFECT dress! How exciting...I'm so very happy for you!
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Well girls...just stopping in to say hi...hope you're all doing well...
Juliechicago - hope you're feeling better and hoping you were able to have chemo today!
I filled out the on line application for CASA - we shall see... I am going out to the forest to pull more Buckthorn...I have to admit that sometimes we change the first letter in the word Buckthorn...can't help it girls! Shame on me! LOL Make the most of this summer evening...
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Brenda, I am with Evanston and I responded to your pm. I work/live about 15 minutes from Glenbrook. Are you staying the evening? I had a lumpectomy, so I never stayed overnight. If you need anything, I am there for you. You are in good hands. The whole network is good. Glenbrook now has that great Breast Cancer Center (new since my dx two years ago).
Laura, my dh is an attorney and he told me CASA is so good(I apologize if I mentioned that already. He needs to deal with kids and he likes working with CASA people.
School is great. I have such cool kids.
Susan
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OKAY I'm back and I'm bitchen, I am officially a waitress, in a pizza place no less. One year ago I was a respected escrow officer in a Fortune 500 company, I recieve 367.00 dollars a week to help pay my $2700.00 a month mortgage. I am sick of cancer. I am sick of looking for the good things. I made $75.00 dollars tonight, my best night over the last two weeks you know how they they say your two weeks from the streets well now I unerstand. I get up in the morning spend three hours going to and from rads, try to keep up with the home I am selling after building it 16 years ago. I won't be able to buy a new home since I am unemployed and have cancer. What next....So I've had a few glasses of wine.. I'm feeling sorry for myself and I (shame on me) am jealous of the lives all my sisters have, Don't get me wrong I love all of you I just think I am so sick of this disease I don't know what to do, I am a burden on my family and poor Vic (boyfriend) I'm tired and lazy and lonley I can't afford a lunch out because what I spend means someone else has to pick up the slack (poor Vic) when I sell this house if I do, I won't be able gto buy another because I am now unemployed, hold on I need another glass of wine....
I dont't knw if I want to live with Vic, I have spent so much time striveing to have a successfull career and a great family, how do I leave my daughter? who is 17 and about to graduate high school. .
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One more time I don''t know what happened. I'm not used to being like this, Wendy, Michelle , Pat, Jan Clare, you guys know I'm not a whiner. I just don't know what to do. I want to post but I am so embarrassed of what I've become, I want to be a mentor to those who are just starting out, but I feel so week, I can't explain what my life has become or where my future is headed, I HATE THIS. I am so sorry I just keep blabbing on. I feel I'm stuck in this cycle and I continually have to make choices, my kids, my health, my home, my security and that of my children. What do I do?
Does anyone feel shame? How do I be a role model to my children? One more glass of wine, I keep laughting, and underneath I feel I have lost everything
Everyone says I'm doing so well. HELP.
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leesa we are here for you! what a time for me to forget my password.
i feel for you and we all feel for you.........we've been there done that, you should've seen my long post one morning in the wee hours and S"haron from across the world answered me.........I later was able to get rid of all my words..............but i'll never forget just losing it.
YOU HAVE DONE A GREAT job like they say, you cant expect to always have it together...i dont really know what to say but read my emails and know that we care, i think of you often when you write, about how cute and happy and brave you were that first day you met us.......YOU TAKE CARE and have some wine for me, as long as it doesnt make you ill!!!!!!!!!
love and hugs...........................kater
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LEESA, HEY THINGS COULD BE WORSE!!
I TURN 50.5 YEARS OLD AT 527 AM WHEN I HOPE YOU ARE SLEEPING!!
just kidding, we all know we are now grateful for birthdays so we can be with our loved ones at some point. YOU TAKE CARE>
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Morning.....
Oh Leesa....we all in some way...know exactly how you are feeling. I sat under a kitchen table for a month, waiting for my dead Mom to come and save me. You are facing such huge hurdles right now....everything has hit you at once. I don't have many answers this early in the morning and with no coffee but there is one thing I do know....you are a role model for your children. Everyday you are fighting back with everything you have and that is what they see....a fighter. You think you aren't one? Yes, you are and I admire you....admire everything you have done, and that pretty face with that lovely smile and that great sense of humor remains intact. I personally don't know how you have made it so far....you have far more courage than I have or ever will have....that I know.
As I said...I have no words of wisdom this morning so I need to think on it a bit. AND DON'T YOU EVER BE ASHAMED OF YOUR FEELINGS...YOU GET YOUR BUTT ON HERE AND TELL US ALL!!!!!!!
As for being a mentor....you already have been to me. I love you Leesa!
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Leesa,
I sent you a PM. Hope you are doing better today.
Love ya sister,
Sharon
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Leesa,
I sent you a PM. Hope you are doing better today.
Love ya sister,
Sharon
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Leesa - I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this. I just hope and pray things will get back on track. I do believe when one door closes, another door opens. Something good will come of all this, you must be patient. You must try to remain positive. Please hang in there...don't beat yourself up...you've been through ALOT...we're here for you.
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Good Morning all,
First to Leesa: YOU cannot be the queen of BAD soap operas' because I have beat you to it. And I am still doing it from time to time. But, having said that and knowing I am somewhat flippant because I also dislike having to expose others to the REAL me just know that you have the strength you need. It is lurking within you. If I have learned anything since I have been here it is that I can be myself and no one will be critical and EVERYONE will understand. No one is here to JUDGE you. They are here to SUPPORT you. No one here is a fairweather friend and whatever circumstances make up your life do not detract from the SOUL of you that has been an inspiration to so many here.
We usually don't know why we are given the challenges we end up facing in life --- I am facing a couple right now that I haven't shared here, but I do believe if we persist in taking each in turn, doing our best with it, and then moving on, at some TIME we will be able to look back and LEARN that it made us better and stronger in some way......though it may seem cruel, demeaning, and heart breaking at this point, every day cannot be a rainy one and it is ALWAYS darkest before dawn. . Not an easy thing, but every time you take your lemons and make lemonade you cut another notch for yourself. Could I find just one more cliche' here. Just know that there is great care and concern for you here and we are paying tribute to your soul and spirit because YOU are not your POOR circumstances right now ----you are a very WORTHWHILE beautiful SPIRIT having BAD times. Those bad times don't MAKE YOU less......even if they are producing less in your life......YOU are YOU ---- these other things are not you....they are just happening to you. You can gain control and be in charge again. Please be patient with yourself. Know that all are here for you and though much in your life seems slippery and transitory to your grasp, everyone is behind you in a very solid way.
Jackie
P.S. Leesa, please see quote down below. Never met you but I love you.
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"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only
fly by embracing one another."
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. Leesa:
It is not your fault you have cancer You did not choose to get it. It has brought great losses in your life. You have a right to feel weak and vulnerable. Share with Vic and your kids that you are feeling so sad and helpess. They will not collapse on you. They have to know how pained you are feeling and that you need to lean on them and give up the role modeling for right now. You need for them to take the high road for awhile. I just bet they are willing and able to do that. My then 23 year old daughter, "mothered me" when I became one evil and angry child with my cancer. I yelled at her for doing that, and then became a puddle of desperation and hung onto to her like a frightened child. Please do not beat yourself up. You did nothing to deserve where you are right now. Susan
PS Is there anyhting specific I could do to make things easier?
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Happy HALF Birthday KATER! You look like 29 and a half!
Susan
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To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you somebody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
e.e. Cummings
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I'm sitting here tears rolling down my face I don't know what to say, you all have made me feel really loved. THANK YOU. Thank you for the PM's phone calls inspirational words I am so blessed to have all of you.
No more pity pot, drama queen today I'm getting off my lazy butt, putting the kids and myself to work and getting my life back together. I always say that I wouldn't change places with anyone else because I'm so lucky for what I have, I guess I lost sight of that last night.
Thank you I have a team of sisters, that always hear me and know exactly what to say.
Love
Leesa
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Oh Leesa, I wish I was closer so I could come give you a big hug right now! I hear you and I feel your frustration and anguish! The whole thing sucks big time!
However, you're seeing yourself differently than we are seeing you. When I met you I was amazed at how much spunk and "go get 'em" you had for somebody who had to face this journey twice. I truly admired you (and still do). You do have that strength.................you've just hit a very rocky point.........and we can only go so far before we crash! Why we're given these challenges, I just don't know but we've all had them somewhere along life's road.
Susan is so right. Talk to those who are close to you and tell them just where you're at. Let them help you for a change. You'll probably be amazed at how much they can help. Come here and vent. We all want to help you, hon.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you, dear.
Love ya......Rita
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Hey Leesa,
I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time, but coming here is the exact right thing to do. We all understand, and we have all whined a bit at times during this long journey. I like to whine while having a little wine myself.
You are strong and beautiful, and you always inspire me. Wendy's right about you being a positive role model for your children. You keep smiling and doing in the face of adversity, and nothing is going to stop you. I so admire and respect you! Your courage and humor help us all, and we are all here for you. I don't think of it as whining, just venting, and this is the place for that!
See you soon for a big hug!
Pat
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Sharon..yea on the good mammo and the liver/pancreas tests. That's good news! :-)
Brenda...welcome to the Illinois thread. I'm so glad that you found us. There are so many neat ladies on the thread from your area and they make a habit of taking super good care of their bc sisters. Tell us a little more about yourself when you get a chance. We are quite the chatty bunch! I will be thinking about you on Wednesday! Please let us know how it goes for you!
Susan...so glad that you have a neat bunch of kids and that your last year is off to a good start. It will be over before you know it!
Julie R...If I were you, I'd put off the tests until after the big day. You deserve to concentrate on you and your wedding right now! I'm so happy for you and hope that you find just the right dress for you. You will indeed be a lovely bride!
Laura, congrats on taking that step and filling out the CASA application. I think this will be so rewarding.
Kater...glad to be getting your emails again! Hope all is going better for you now!
Wendy the Younger was on the golf course this morning! What a pleasant surprise, especially since she started her Taxol yesterday! She's been told that she can only chip and putt but it was so good to see her out there!
Well, I need to get something accomplished around here.
I'll check back later.
Rita
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Three Little Words
There are three little words
* that can wreck someone's entire life
Three little words
*that can make you loose all hope in life itself
Three little words
*that can turn the strongest person
* in the universe into that of an infant
But not with you
You've been through so much in your life
*and you still have your hope and you stand strong
The worst three little words
*a doctor can say, you've heard twice
Those three little words
*you tried not to let me see your pain
But I saw it
*and I never once thought you were weak
You heard those three little words
*and you are still as strong as ever
You never let it stop you from being
*the best person you could be
And I never stopped thinking of you as
**My HERO
Twice the doctors said
*YOU HAVE CANCER
But you said
*CANCER DOESN'T HAVE ME!
****Bre Ann Dunigan age 14Leesa I know if my GD at 14 could think of me enough to write this poem, your kids I'm sure think of you as their hero! HUGS!!
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Happy Saturday everyone -
Leesa, I PM'd you. I am so glad you are feeling better today!
LauraGTO - I want to come help pull Buckthorn just so I can come & call it "F" thorn & laugh like a 12 year old kid cuz I said a bad word.
I found my dress today!! On a whim. Shopped the entire mall - no nice white dresses Ended up at David's Bridal of all places!! If I want a dress from them, I have to order it by tomorrow..... so I'm going back with sis & my best bud. Guess I'll have to put off any more visits to PS til after wedding. So, I blew my budget on the dress already, haha.
I hope you all are having a good weekend. Weather seems to be holding out pretty well - tomorrow is supposed to be great. Hugs to everyone!! JulieR
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Morning! Here's a hug for you Leesa...remember...you are the richest gal in Carol Stream!Brenda...I didn't welcome you properly so WELCOME! So sorry you had to find us, but if you did have to...glad you caught our thread. Please tell us a bit more about you...we each of us have different types of bc, had different treatments/surgeries etc so there is probably someone who can connect with you on an even closer level. If you have read thru the past posts since early Saturday morning...you will see that all of us still have meltdowns. And that there is ALWAYS someone here to listen, to support and....we so totally get whatever you are feeling. So...please come here often...just to whine, or vent, or scream if you have to. We care, and we will listen.
JulieR....you found your dress! Yay! OK...please learn photobucket asap as we need to see the ring (priorities) and the dress! You will look so pretty! And of course...we will need pics! Lots of pics! Had to laugh as I got a picture in my head, you running around Laura's and yelling..."F***thorn! F***thorn!" And I agree with everyone else...scans can wait for now. Happiness first! Life is so short....
Susan....you all seem to have gone back to school so much earlier that out here. I thought Tom's kids were coming back Monday, but not til Wednesday! It's much later this year, but the school board and the union vote every year on the dates. How's your neck btw? You were supposed to go for PT...did you start? Is it helping?
Rita...so glad you saw WTY on the golf course. So what if you can only chip and putt, WendyTY! You are out there, in the fresh air, enjoying summer, enjoying life. Good for you!
Jackie...your words to Leesa were so right, so true..for all of us. You always make me feel so much better.
Karin...I had totally forgotten your GD's poem. How wonderful of you to share it again with us, and especially Leesa. Very poignant, very timely for her. Thanks for that.
Kater...I too am glad to see your happy smiling avatar once again!
Everyone else...hope tx is going well for you and you are all enjoying the waning days of summer. Today promises to be a beautiful one up here...so go out and enjoy...and put that top down!
The convertible top that is....not your clothing! Don't really want to have to bail anyone out today!
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Good Morning Ladies...
What a great sunrise we had this am...Yep I was up at the crack of dawn. Yesterday was a very interesting day...funny how things happen for a reason and we don't know why. People come into our lives for a reason..and that being said I am so proud of all of us here for helping Leesa though her difficult time yesterday. She was experiencing some emtional inner turmoils that we all have had at one time or another through this difficult journey. Each and everyone of us has dealt with bc in our own way..but with the support of us here, it has made this journey easier. We listen, we understand, we cry, we hug and most of all we support each other... I just want to thank everyone for helping Leesa. I know she really appreciated it. For the girls in tx remember we are here for you. We understand what you are going through and will listen and support you.
For the girls out of tx thank you for your continued support and friendship. On that note, I am off to church and I will keep each and everyone of you in my prayers.
Have a great Sunday....and remember be healthy..be happy
Blackjack
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good morning everyone!
thank you all so much for the welcome, it is great to not feel alone on this crazy rollercoaster ride. i do have great family to support me,but it is such a different kind of support from gals who have gone through this. I was diagnosed with bc 6 weeks ago and after spending a couple days crying pretty much nonstop i realized i needed to start researching and make a plan At first I didn't want to even look at anything about it, but then I spent the next 2 weeks learning everything I could and so am now I feel i am at a pretty good place in my decisions, so far. Try to control what I can, and the rest of it is out of my control. I think the bs will be glad I am asleep during surgery so I will not be able to ask more questions!
The first meeting with the bs we left with the intention of lumpectomy w/snb and rads. Then when I was scheduled for a mri and was thinking that the cancer was everywhere, I suddenly realized I wanted to get a bilateral mast. I have family hx (my mom had bc at my same age (45). I just want to do whatever I can to avoid going through this again. I will not be having recon, I have 2 little girls 2 and 4 , I just want to heal the quickest I can so I can care for them, they need me. They exhaust me on even a good, healthy day!
My surgery is wed aug 27 at glenbrook hosp in glenview and i feel i am really prepared because of all the great ideas i have gotten from this site. which is really great because it sure seems the doctors and their staff don't give you a whole lot of direction, you really have to be your own advocate and figure out what you need. I have gotten strength and courage from the gals on this forum, it has made me feel calm (well, reasonably) to face this surgery and recovery and whatever tx arises too. It helps to remove some anxiety to know what to expect.
My husband is in the military and is scheduled to leave for afghanistan one month after my surgery for a year, we are not sure if they will let him stay or not, i think part of it will be on if i need chemo.
I was wondering, do most gals meet with the onc before the surgery? i called one and he said he wouldn't be seeing me until after.
I am very nervous about the nodes, but I guess it is what it is, and I have to try to not let fear rob me of today. This waiting, and guessing, thinking the cancer is running wild will soon be over and I will have some answers. The butterflies are starting, but I have so much to do today, I will try to not waste time dwelling on it. It is hard though, waking in the middle of the night, it is a distraction, my thoughts are all over the place.
Recovery from surgery will be interesting-I am not someone to take it easy, and to ask/let others do things for me, but I have to at this time. Not looking forward to the drains, but wil try to remember that the drains are my friends. Definitely not looking forward to sleeping on my back, sigh.
thanks again for the welcome and the support!! brenda
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Morning everyone
It's so pretty looking outside and was not bad when I went out to feed the doggies.....just hope we don't get too much humidity today. As always I have lots of things needing attention. Denny comes home on Monday and I look forward to that. Keeping care of everything here has been a struggle and I'm just thankful he has only been gone for a week and not longer. I have managed, but not always well. I think when he is home I'll make one of my rare visits to a chiropractor. I have gotten myself---some ligament or muscle all out of whack and my neck is getting tighter etc. I think some "working" of the muscles by hand and maybe the deep massage machine may be in order. Of course, I base this on that one spot ( it happened long time ago ) in my upper back and hope that I'm right and that all will clear easily. The fact that nothing else but just tightening and a little mild discomfort ----- slight loss of good range of motion is going on keeps me feeling pretty positive about it all.
Well, onward and upward. Hope you all have a fantastic day and hope all of you know that you are VIP's....yes, Very Important People who desire a good life for yourself as well as all the people here. It continues to always be a joy to come here, find solace, give it and share life ( my life and yours ) together. Often life alone can be difficult with so many snags and tears, but with a group like all of you........the words CAN DO just scream an imprint that won't go away.
I'll be back later.
Jackie
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Leesa - I just know you'll pull through this nasty chapter...and then you'll be on to the next one. And the next one will be all up hill! I hope to see you Wednesday.
JulieB - I hope you were able to have tx on Friday...and if you did...hope you're not feeling too bad.
Brenda - Welcome to the group no one wants to join, but one that everyone is thankful for! Best wishes as you journey through all this. We've got ya covered...
WendyTY - Taxol...well...I just hope its kind to you. Fingers, toes, everything is crossed for you. Glad you made it to the golf course!
Sharon - Any chance you'll be stateside for our get- together?
Becky - Just wondering how you're doing...hope you're doing well.
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Girlz - The reason I'm sitting (well half sitting) at the computer on this lovely Sunday is because I just GOT STUNG 7 TIMES BY YELLOW JACKETS! I am not frickin kidding...last weekend dh cut his leg with the chainsaw...had to have 6 stitches...he's doing okay though. The frightening part was we didn't know how "bad" it was til we got his pants off...there was a rather large cut right through them. Thank gawd he didn't cut his leg off!
It was my turn this weekend!
So...I was in the forest all morning whacking down f-thorn...even brought the camera out with me and took a before and after shot so I could show you girls how FRICKIN MUCH f-thorn we actually have. I was really making head way, enjoying the lovely weather and thinking how fortunate we are to have such a vast and wooded property. I had the chainsaw going...saw a few bees hovering...kept right on going thinking it was "just a few" no big deal. Then I noticed both of my gloves (yeah the ones on my hands) were covered with them. I looked down - my socks were covered as well...then I felt stings happening all over me...I FREAKED...threw down the chainsaw...started screaming and running while trying to beat them off of me...I half stumbled over a log but managed to NOT hit the ground...twisted my ankle though. I was about 1 acre from the house...I saw dh running toward me (i'm convinced everyone within a mile heard me)...I was screaming - get them off of me, get them off of me...he started swatting them - from my shoes, pants, everywhere. It was like something out of a horror movie...and my worst nightmare came true. dh initially thought I cut myself with the chainsaw and that was the reason for my screams. Made it to the garage and I stripped down to NOTHING...there were still some flying around and stuck to my clothes. Then the shock wore off and the pain began. As I stood there butt naked...dh counted 7. All in all I was VERY lucky...but what saved me was that I dressed the way my wilderness survival guide suggested. I had on tight fitting pants, with the socks over the bottoms (those bastar** couldn't get up my pant legs), I had on a long-sleeve tight fitting shirt tucked in (and a t-shirt underneath it), thick suede gloves with my long sleeves tucked into them and a baseball cap. And...I had repellant on my face, neck and ears (although 1 of the stings is on my neck). 2 are on my back, 1 on my knee and 3 on the most prominent and largest target - MY AS*! LOL OUCH...LOL OUCH...This is sooooooooooo painful! dh ran and got the ANAMANTEL (hydrocordisone 2.5%) - OMG - LOL Analmantle to the rescue...topically - it's a real winner for stings! They are all stinging really badly right now, told dh that if my eyes roll back into my head or I turn purple or can't breath...call 911! LOL He ran back out to the forest with spray to try to find the nest and DESTROY it. He said there were possibly over a hundred. He managed to grab the camera that I left on a log and got stung on the finger cause he didn't notice it right away, but the leather camera case was covered with them too (how weird)...My mom doesn't know this happened and she and Shel are on their way here to go to the taste of Lake Zurich this afternoon. I took a Benadryl and will probably pass out from it b/4 they even get here LOL...hope not! I'll make a cup of coffee!
Okee-dokee, so that's been my fun day...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh life in the forest - NOT! Give me Park Avenue!
Sorry this is so long...but it's keeping me awake for Mom's arrival!
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Just coming up for air. This last chemo is whipping my butt. I slept most of yesterday and see some naps in my future today. Would someone please go after that truck that ran over me....
We had kind of a "perfect storm" situation these past few days...I came down with this flu/bronchitis early in the week. Onc put me on antibiotics and deemed me well enough to proceed with treatment Friday. I've had battles with bronchitis all my life (both parents heavy smokers...) and knew where this was heading. Have been coughing my head off for days now. Then my DH came down with it- fever etc- so I'm trying to take care of everyone and THEN my 6 year old wakes up on Friday- second day of school- with 101 fever. Aaaarrghh! The college girl who helps me out sometimes in the summer has not gone back yet and she graciously took Tim Friday so that Dave could take me to chemo. He was so sick that my onc nurse ended up getting cough drops and medicine from the hospital pharmacy for HIM. On top of everything, the entire Kellogg cancer center at ENH is moving upstairs, so everything was delayed and unorganized. My nurse had to kick the movers out of my room twice-- saying NO- Not this room- NOT yet. I was never so glad to get out of there, My last chemo and I will never have to go back to that particular place AGAIN. Thank God.
We are all somewhat improved this am- but this one will definitely go down in the books....
Now- if I can recover from the "stomach on fire" feeling and tell the rest of my hair to stay on my head, dammit....
And enough of my whining-- wishes that everyone else is well.
-Thinking of you Annie on your lung scan tomorrow - and thank you to everyone who sent congrats and good wishes for this last treatment!
-Leesa- I can't say anything better than what's already been said. I was SO impressed by you when we met at Laura's. My impression- that you are handling this second diagnosis waaaay better than I have been.
-Laura; OMG- I'm still traumatized by the single sting I had as a kid. WOW!
-Brenda- see long PM regarding ENH and everything else
-and thank you, everyone- for all the kind wishes.....
-julie b.
-julie
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Just a quick pop in to give a hug to Leesa, and to welcome Brenda!
I, too, am struggling these days, don't really want to go into detail, but knowing you each are here is so helpful and comforting. Thanks to everyone. I hope someday I can provide support to others as you all do to me.
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Morning! Notice I didn't say "Good"....very cloudy and dark and COLD! And I picked up my laptop, opened it up and BAM! Top broke...so now it is duct-taped with hot pink duct tape. Oh well...we have been looking to get a new one anyway, but this time...due to Kater's frustrations with VISTA, I am at least going to look at MAC's. Anyone else have a MAC? Tired of all these viruses...we don't use it for any microsoft stuff anyway.
Brenda...before I say anything else, please tell your DH that while I have my own opinions on these "wars" we keep running around, sending our troops to....I fully support our troops and your husband has my thanks for his sacrifice...and thanks to you and your children for allowing Dad to go and protect us. OK....now back to you. Your surgery is right here....is there anything we can do except keep you in our prayers? You sound like you do have all your ducks lined up, you've done your research, searched your heart, mind and soul and made a very informed decision and I know that you will never look back. So, in my opinion...you are good to go! Funny about the doc being glad you would be asleep so you couldn't ask any more questions! I'm sure most of our doc's feel the same way. With the internet...we know a whole lot more than they want us to, and probably don't like it much when we question them...but tuff toenails, doctors! Get used to it...we women are tough now and we ain't backing down!
JulieB.....YAY!!! You got your last chemo in!!!! No matter how cr***y you might have felt, and still do feel...isn't it GREAT to know that when you feel better....you will STAY THAT WAY!!!!! You go girl.....
Laura...I am so sorry that happened to you! I was stung once as I kid and then was stung by a wasp while in St. Thomas years ago...still scared of those things to this day! But...I will admit it...I was laughing til I got tears in my eyes....I had this picture of you, standing in your garage with DH, buck naked...while he put "butt cream" on you...and the garage door going up and your Mom sitting there in her car! What she woudl have thought!!! I still don't know what F-thorn looks like, so post when you can re: that. Maybe you should have a Fthorn party!
Blackjack...hopefully you are at the finish line with all your projects and can post more often. I think I speak for most of us...we miss you!
WendyTY....I had taxotere rather than the taxol so I can't comment too much on that but for MOST people, taxol seems a bit kinder than AC. But alas it was not so for some of the girls on this thread. I am hoping for an easy time for you....and it will all be over very soon! Rita told us you were back, chipping and putting....good for you! Life will be good again....and you will put this all behind you.
Jackie....how's the neck? I've been stealing some of your quotes and passing them on to a dear friend....she needs them right now. Hope it's OK!
Jackie, Leesa, Mich101 - I see that you too are struggling with some issues right now, as am I. Mine are not connected directly to BC, but are definitely being determined by the disease. The unfortunate part, or outcome I suppose - of this disease...is that it changes you, permanently. You will never be the same person again as it is indeed life-threatening and therefore life-changing. We've had to make decisions that we didn't want to make, and to make changes in our lives that we never thought we would face and unfortunately we have lost people along the way. Sometimes we have lost friends, lost the support of family and loved ones, lost our feeling of security...both financial and emotional. But if I have learned nothing from this experience...it is that if we have lost those THINGS...then we will find a different way to get back that security. If we have lost PEOPLE....well, then.....did we really need them in our lives in the first place? It hurts, and we feel lost and abandoned sometimes but I like to think that with the support and understanding of this great group and that of our true friends...we will find our way out of the dark, scary place and into a bright and hopeful new world, filled with joy and love and support. It takes a long time unfortunately...but I have every confidence that we all will get there. So...let's just all hold on, the happy days are coming and then...we will never look back. And if the bad days come...well, let 'em. We will be here for each other!
And Mich101...everytime you pop on, or just read...you support us! Always know that, OK?
Off to have my last PT!!!!!! Don't think there is much more they can do and you know...that's OK! Have a wonderful, bright and happy day....hugs to you all! You mean the world to me.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson,