Illinois ladies facing bc
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Der Elf Song!
Thank you for stepping in. I was wondering about you. It sounds like your mom was just great and did her job well....loving you and your family while you worked so hard at getting well. Good for you!
Stay in touch!
Susan
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Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever...-- Isak Dinesen0
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Wendrew - Did you select the Direct Link version of what you want to copy and paste?
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Morning....oh be quiet...it could be snow.Nothing much going on around here today. Hope everyone is doing as well as you can.
Blackjack...check in...I don't trust you to behave....you've said "girls just want to have fun" once too often.
Jennifer...it is officially "drainBgone" day! Yay!!! Celebrate....put on something that "fits" for a change! You should start feeling so much better every day now....
Jacks...loved your quote this am...so true, isn't it?
Guess I will go do something constructive.....
Princess J.....anything jobs yet? What exactly are you looking for?
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Who is Princess J and where do you live. I'm an HR Mgr. and I have some openings in certain areas.
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I am so sorry and so lame for falling incredibly behind in this forum. Life has been at a peak of activity lately and my online time has been minimal. We were in Peoria this past weekend for the State Dance Finals for my daughter. What a fun, but bittersweet time. I saw tears in her eyes when she came out for her last (lyrical) dance, and I just LOST IT, as well as all the other senior moms. I've watched her dance since she was 2 years old and it's so hard to see this stage come to an end. I'm busy doing their team yearbook AND working more than normal. Bad timing for my partner to want to cut her hours!
In the midst of all this, I spent last night in the E.R. because of chest pains. My doc was concerned because I am recently post-op, and my Femara (blood clots), and of course, the history of Breast Ca. So... I spent half the night in the E.R. getting tested. Good news is that my chest CT was NORMAL. *whew* I was holding back tears going into it because... well, you all know. It's such a complex emotional thing - you want to know, but you don't want to know. Such a relief when they said it was normal.
We still don't know what the chest pain/pressure is, but it's not mets, and it's not an embolus, and it's not my heart - so I'm much more relaxed about just riding it out for now.
I'm off to have an EMG today because of all the weirdness in my legs lately. I really think it's all side-effects from my meds, but it's worth checking out, I guess.
I apologize for not being able to catch up with all the back entries from everyone. I hope everyone is doing well!
Oh, my "girls" are looking FAB - I am really very happy with them for the first time since I started all this reconstruction stuff. I'm still a bit of a Bride of Frankenstein with stitches and silicone tapes, but definitely happy with the shape and size (finally!).
*HUGS* to everyone!
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Apologies for the back to back posting. I thought I'd throw up a picture from this weekend. My DD is the one in the center. This was during their Hip-Hop number.
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Irene - I knew which one was yours... she looks just like you! She is so pretty and talented! You SHOULD be proud! OM - chest pains... I am going through a similar situation... and will post later about it. Is the pain in the middle of your chest? If so... could it be Costochondritis (?). Keep us posted. Hope it's nothing serious.0
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To be young, gorgeous and dancing! Irene, she is so lovely. And she may be crying, but they are tears of joy.
Also, Irene and Laura, could your chest pain be what I had awhile back and called an esophogeal spasm (sp?). It was a terrible twisting pain that actually radiated to the back. It is due to acid reflux and/or stress. I get the beginnings now and if I drink warm water, it settles down on its own. Left on its own, it is something to be reckoned with.
Took care of grandchild as my DD had to have another sonogram to see if she needs a D and C. The verdict is still out....she is having cramping. I had a delightful day with my grandchild. The rains here are something else.
Hope all are well!
Susan
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HI gals!
Rain, rain, and more rain. The creek behind my house is rising rapidly. It can stop anytime!!! It is even thundering out there. Now I do agree, Wendy. The rain is better than snow unless it starts to seep into my house!
Jackie, I love the pic of your back yard and your deck. It looks so peaceful. You're in a lovely setting, too.
Susan, So glad you got to babysit! Isn't it fun? I hope your daughter''s problems are easily solved.
Jennifer, I might just have to check out that library. It really sounds neat. When I was younger I spent alot of time in that area. My great grandmother lived in Tamaroa and my grandmother's sister lived in Mt. Vernon. It's really a pretty area.
I hope everyone is doing well.
Take care of yourselves and have a good week.
Rita
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Good evening girls....rain, rain and more rain. When will it stop. I am so worried for all of you who had water problems or close to having water problems last year. The creek by me is already up to the road...not good. Let's keep our fingers crossed that it will slow down.
Irene..your dd is sooo cute. I too did get melancholy when my dd gymnastics's meets finally came to an end. How sad it was after sitting there for 4 years and holding my breath every time she competed. She did the uneven parallel bars. Watching her swing over that top bar made me soo nervous. I always said a pray that she would land on her feet and not her head.
Laura...I hope you are feeling better soon and get some answers tomorrow.
Rita...don't you wish it was spring and no rain.lol No golf today. lol
Jackie..your quote is to true about a lot of things.
Susan..hope your dd is feeling better soon. Spring break is around the corner for you.yeah !!
Nancy..how are you and glad to see you posting. I sent you a pm
Wendy...are you staying dry..lol
Carol...all most done with chemo..yeah
Jen..drains be gone for you. Let the healing begin
Well I am off to the couch for some serious CSI tonight. I just love this show.
Have a great evening everyone....
Remember to be healthy..be happy
BJ
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Hi girls... I am trying not to freak out but for a very long time, I have had a numb/tingly/pain in the middle of my chest - I always attributed it to the Mastectomies and nerve damage from the node removal...then, last week I noticed a dull pain specifically in my Sternum area. This weekend when I gently pushed on it - the pain was excruciating (I don't see any obvious swelling/inflammation). I googled this and several things came up... one being Costochondritis (unexplained pain or tenderness in the cartilage that connects the ribs to the Sternum - I think...if I remember correctly). Of course, this is what I hope it is. BUT - there have been girls here at bc.org... who have been dx'd w/ Sternum mets... their symptoms were the same as mine. Arghhhhhhhhhhh... AND what's worrying me is the fact that I was left with an unclean margin at my chest wall (DAMN) during my first Mast AND my Sent Node was positive - two strikes against me. At the time it was believed by my Onc and my BS that chemo would kill off the unclean margin. BUT, there's been some recent reports stating that chemo is no longer considered to be effective for ILC (DAMN). Unfortunately, my rads field did not include the Sternum area. I can't help but worry... I talked to my Onc today...he wants me to come in tomorrow morning for an exam and he'll r/x an x-ray and a bone scan. I am concerned... no doubt. I hate this frickin crap! WTH! I hate the thought of walking into that chemo haven from hell tomorrow... I hate seeing all the people suffering from this hideous disease. Sorry... don't mean to sound so negative and angry, but I'm tired of worrying, I'm tired of running and trying to hide from the cancer monster. No guarantee that it won't rear its ugly head in my direction again...0
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((LAURA)) Just wanna give you a hug. And wish you the very best tomorrow at the doctor.
This is gonna be quick cuz it's getting late. Spent several hours working on 2 versions of my resume (the real one & the "dumbed down" one) and then searched several job sites. I found about 15 jobs to apply for today, so that's a good start. Hoping to start out part-time somewhere & eventually get back to my true love of finance/internal audit (yeah, I'm strange, lol)
Several of you gals are mentioning chest pains & stuff. Aren't they the scariest thing? I've been having bad chest pains on & off since September. And today my pvc's were REALLY bad. Wondering if it's time to check in with my cardiologist again. Sigh. I just want my chest area *left alone* you know ??? Sorry, I try not to complain too much about stuff, cuz you guys usually have so much going on & I feel bad if I whine.
Susan, I did think it could be digestive related; I'm gonna jot that down.
Anyway - I hope everyone feels better (my chest pain sisters Laura & Irene!) Hi to everyone else & hang on... it's getting super windy outside!! phew!
Hugs, Juliet
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Ok....I'm up late and reading posts. Laura....I am glad you are going to see your Dr. tomorrow. Mainly because it is the only way to find out what this pain is and deal with it. I know the major thoughts would lean heavily toward the negative meaning cancer issues but all pain is a negative state --- the body's way of telling you to do something ---- even if that comes down to only rest. Still telling a person not to worry is like telling rain not to fall -- and I think when reading up on cancer you can find as many articles that are pro and well as con. Best just do what your doing by seeing your Dr. I know you are tired for having the constant albatross on your back and you have every right to gripe. And angry....I think that means you still have spunk --- you haven't given up and wandered off to a corner to sit and moan. We are all going to be with you tomorrow with positive vibes you'll need.
Juliet.....please whine, then please go and see about your chest too. Remember---it's part of what this is all about because we will understand the fright or the strange side effects or whatever you have and then will nag you till you go check it out and get it fixed. We have chosen to be in this spot together.....dependent on each other, because our need was so great in the beginning of it all......and did you read Illinois Nancy's post....she has jobs if you live in the right place.
Rene....glad you are as well looking into your chest pain so that it is taken care of and you can move past and onto much more positive things.
Glad you all liked today's quote......I really liked it as well. Going back to bed now --- see ya'll in the morning -- oops, it is morning. See you when I get up again.
Jackie
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Hi there.....from 60 to 17 with a wind chil that makes it -1. Gotta love March! Just wish those howling winds would stop....creeps me out.
Jacks....you need to sleep!
Laura, Juliet, Rene....I hope all 3 of you get answers re: your chest pain. Juliet.....obviously you have had cardiac issues in the past if you already have a cardiologist. You need to call his office and at least talk to them about this. Laura....good luck today. Let us know what they are thinking and what the next step is.
Rene23....I agree with everyone else...your DD is a stunner.
Princess Juliet....did you notice IllinoisNancy's message? She has a line on some jobs in HR! Don't think this is your field tho....
Blackjack....good to hear from you...I sent you an email. Hope you are being a good girl.
Susan.....hope DD is doing better.
Looks like the rain is gone...hope you all did ok with the latest flooding. I am off for my "hair day"...you know...cut, color, highlights. I hate sitting there with those little foil thingies on my head, not to mention the time it all takes. Ah.....what price beauty?
Oh I know what price....LOTS!!!!!!!!!!!! Illinois Nancy...I might have to call you!
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Good morning ladies!
Jackie & Wendy thanks for your concern & care (hug). I've actually had full cardiac workups (minus an invasive angio but had a CT angio) and all they could ever find are the ectopic heartbeats & some tachycardia with no known cause. I had 2nd opinions at Rush - same story. Basically - deal with it. So, that's what I try to do, somedays are harder than others But - I know it wouldn't hurt to check in. Just didn't want you guys to think I'm ignoring my ticker
Enuf about me....
Laura, please let us know what happens at the doc!!! Thinking of you....
Juliet
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I think I have put this on before but I love it so much....here it is again.
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.
- Corrie Ten Boom0 -
Ok....I'm not my usual self. It's an icky
day outside. No real sun and last nights rain made it much cooler than I want. Dampness is just making it unpleasant....but it is March which can be very windy, cool and wet and so I guess I have to just look at it those interludes we have till we get to our standard beautiful Spring. Had I not missed a bit of sleep in the wee early hours I probably would be a bit more chipper.....sigh !!!!! Better luck tonight. I did ok at my Dr. Appt. yesterday. A sort of follow-up thing. Had blood work and will repeat if the numbers are weird as no one told me to come in early and have it done as a fasting blood draw....Aarrg. The Dr. there told me not to concern myself with weight gain.....yeah right. So, I'm just going to do what I want as I feel I and my system can manage just fine.....it sounded too standard --- like everyone is told this. I do NOT need weight getting out of hand JUST because I had a little cancer. Quite frankly --- it's gotten quite nicely out of hand and I didn't have anything so thanks, but no thanks. Guess they will call --- or someone will with some results....other-wise I go back in 4 months.
Yes, I did change my avatar again....I've never had kitties. I'm really going to have to have --- if I can just remember at the right time Dh snap a few now that I have hair of my own again.
I'll be checking back later to see how ya'll are. Hope you are having a good day.
Prayers and hugs,
Jackie
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Hi everyone! Sorry I have been MIA. It's been a very busy couple of weeks at work - several fires to put out and we are just starting our budget process. Juliet - you are not strange - I have an accounting degree and have spent time in accounting and finance positions. I now run the operations for our business, but finance is my true love as well!
Laura - thinking of you today as you have your appt/tests. I hope your doc is able to put your mind at ease.
I hit my 2 year mark this weekend. I had been thinking about it for awhile but completely forgot about it on the day until my sister reminded me. It feels really good to say 2 years. It still seems like yesterday.
Remember how I couldn't wait to get my bangs back? Well, my bangs are now so uncontrollable as they grow out that I am just pulling them back in a headband each day. It looks cute with my curly hair, but I never thought I would go bangless. Fun!
Hope everyone else is staying happy and healthy!
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Praying for you Laura!!!0
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I wanted to quick let you guys know about a New Cancer blood test I never knew about until my doctor used it on me. Completely different then tumor marker tests. Read about CellSearch test... http://littlec123.blogspot.com/ 3rd one down dated March 6.
Rita Jean LOVE LOVE the your new avatar. That looks more like you!
Black Jack - so sorry to hear about all the horrible things happening to your family!
Hope everyone is doing good & ready for spring.
To you girls on treatment {{{hugs}}} hang in there! It will get better.
Laura GTO / RENE 23 - I been having chest pains too. Much like I did before this whole fiasco began. Sometimes toward the center, but on the left side. When they first happened, I had tests done, they found nothing. But they didn't see the raging cancer either. If you guys find something out about chest pains, let me know please! . (Rene23 - your daughter is beautiful)
Laura GTO - Woah woah woah! Sternum mets is the same symptom as Costochondritis? I don't like that either. Don't you apologize for worring! I pray all your tests come back clean for you! {{hug}} ASK YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT CELLSEARCH!! http://littlec123.blogspot.com/2009/03/cellsearch-testing-cancer-cells.html
Carol/Berrypatch - you're almost done with chemo?! WOO HOO ! GO YOU!
I'm sorry I've been terribly neglectful of this board! My daughter still sick, my damn h still driving me nuts & I'm hardly on line. I think I'm about 30 pages behind now!
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Hi all
LauraGTO - Here hoping all is OK with you! I will be praying for you. Anger is normal. This stuff is nasty and we all HATE it. Definitely hope your report is good.
Rene23 - Your daughter is beautiful and I would be proud of her too.
Jackie - I had a terrible night last night sleeping too. I think the storms in our area were pretty wicked. I am looking forward to it warming up again. It went from 75 degrees to 25 in one day.
For everyone else having chest pains - you can never be too cautious about it. It is always good to get checked out.
As far as my pain, it is better now that those (ball and chains) - drains came out. I told the doctor that they were going to come out one way or another. (I seriously was planning to remove them if they didn't do it.) Fortunately they agreed it was time for them to come out. It was a really wierd feeling. One of the drains was wrapped up by my sternum and it felt really creepy coming down and across my chest. ICK!!! I am really sore but not hurting quite as bad. The surgeon was pleased to see the incisions healing up so well. She gave me a printout of my final path report and went over it with me. The report was excellent and I just broke down crying in relief. It is gone, gone, gone!!!!!. No lymph nodes involved, etc. I didn't need any further treatment or icky drugs. I just need to heal now. I got what I was praying for. Thank you GOD!!!
The interesting thing about the path report.....the right breast was the one with the DCIS and in that same breast they found something else that they called Atypical Lobular Hyperplasia. She explained it as not cancer, not pre-cancer but something that could have potentially developed into cancer down the road. So, I feel that I definitely made the right decision to have chosen the bilateral mastectomy. I just want to be free of it and some may have viewed my route as being overkill but not I - I don't trust this stuff!!! I will go the extra mile to rid myself of it. I researched it more when I came home and found out that Atypical Lobular Hyperplasia can turn into ILCS or ILC. It just floors me. Cancer is so scary and you have no idea you have this inside you. I don't know if I have a heightened awareness of cancer now or what but I think it is entirely too commonplace. Too many people are coming up with it.
Did you all see the story of the 7 year old girl who doctors took out six of her organs to remove a cancerous tumor? She went home from the hospital yesterday and is doing great. Stories like this one really gives you admiration for this little person. I have a 7 year old daughter and I could not imagine going through that - that poor family. The little girl was amazing - so beautiful, sweet and optimistic. I hope she has a long and happy life.
Enough typing for now. Take care and healing thoughts to all!!
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Laura: : No words on what to do next...just appreciation and love for you and what you have come to mean to me. BC is so scary but just keep talking.. We are listening and we get it and care,
Susan
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Hey - girls. You are awesome... Thank you so much!
Yes my anger and my fear is heightened. I hate thinking that this type of situation is something I may never get used to. Each time though, I think that I should become less frightened. But that's simply not the case. My Onc was awesome today... he is so gentle and understanding. Two scenerios - my choice: I can take anti-inflammatory meds for 5 days (thru Sunday) and see if the pain lessens (which would be indicative of Coscochondritis) and have a bone scan and x-ray after that, or I can choose to not take the anti-inflamatory meds and have the bone scan and x-ray done tomorrow or Friday. After thinking about it... I have decided to take the meds for five days and see what happens, and have the bone scan and x-ray done next Wednesday. One of the girls here was wondering why my doc hasn't ordered a CT - so I will call him tomorrow and ask that. During the exam... I pointed out the pain site... and OMG... he very gently pushed on it and I swear... I almost screamed... He said it is definitely the Sternum... but he doesn't know if it's the lower tip of it or slightly above the tip. He won't know that until he sees the films. This is really wearing away at me... but the initial anger and shock is less. It's scary - because I really cannot control the fear. And it's almost as though I am less freaked after I vent and freak out. I know that sounds weird, but it's true. Thanks... I hate to be such a cry baby... and I hate to be so weak and freaked... I just cannot seem to control it, although it has gotten better over the years. I know that may seem hard to believe, but it's true. I am going to sleep now... I am exhausted...emotionally. Maybe in time... I WILL get used to this type of thing. I don't know.
hoping4cure - The pathology of my prophylactic Mast was Atypical Lobular Hyperplasia... I too made the right decision. It's not hard to miss a body part that may have eventually killed ya!
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HUGS Laura! You are not a cry baby. You're just venting because that is one of the best ways to get a little relief from the fear and anguish that our aches and pain now cause us. That's what we're here for! I am hoping beyond hope that the anti-inflamatory meds will do the trick and the scans will be normal. I will pray for you and will be thinking about you. I am so sorry that you've had to go through this mental angish. Hang in there.
Rita
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Warm {{{{{hugs}}}}}} to Laura! Keep the faith! I am also hoping that the anti-inflamatory (Indocin?) gives you some relief. We're all here rooting for you, and hoping for the best! You can freak out anytime, Lord knows that I do it enough here....and we will all be here for you.
Take Care my friend.....Carol
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Laura, there is nothing more I can add. The rest have all said it so well. there is ONLY one YOU and we just have one life and it's upsetting when that one life is threatened in any way. I frankly admire the fact that you can vent so well. I think maybe some of us hold it in -- not because we are braver than you, or stronger --- just so conditioned that we can't un-burden ourselves more. So use us in whatever way you have to -- whatever makes it better for you. You have been ready, willing and very able about helping the rest of us find comfort and care. We cannot do less for you, ever.
Prayers and big hugs and lots of love,
Jackie
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Morning girls....Well it looks like it will be a cold and sunny day today. Do you think spring may come soon....I hope so. I have been reading about all of you who have chest pain issues. Our bodies have gone through a lot of trauma with surgeries, treatments and a host of other things. When we feel pain that is different then normal we should check with our md's. Women are very in tune to their bodies and our md's need to listen to us. So to all of you who are having issues please stay on top of this. Be kind to yourself..rest..vent..take your meds for pain relief but most of all remember that we are all here for you. Sending you all big healing hugs your way.
Remember to be healthy..be happy we have only one life so live.. laugh.. love
Enjoy your day...
BJ
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Mornin' All! Brrrrrrrrr.......
Laura....gentle hugs out to you. We all have the same fear I think Laura...we just deal with it in different ways. How we deal with it is never the wrong way...it's just the way we deal with it. And I do understand...once you verbalize your fears, you feel better. It's just that we tend, as women, to NOT verbalize these horrible, sucky fears as we try so hard to be the strong one...and they just eat at us until we run screaming off into the night and are never heard from again. So...you are not being a crybaby....you are being...dare I say it...normal! Of course....ever since I read your post....I have been poking my own sternum. over and over again...and now of course, mine hurts! OK....I will now stop poking myself. Yee gosh.....the things that cancer does to a reasonably normally intelligent woman!
Blackjack....how are you doing today? Counts still going in the right direction. I know you are probably NOT behaving yourself...but remember...vacay starts soon! You don't want to stay home, do you????????? BEHAVE!!!!!
Connie...congrats on year #2!!!! I hope I am still around to wish you a happy #22, and a happy # 42! If you don't like your curly bangs....do you still have the ones I sent you???? They would look just soooo awesome! LOL
hope4cure...yep, I did read that article re: the little girl. OMG! The things they can do now!!!!!!
RE: chest pain, rib pain. I have the rib pain and have had it since rads. I can pretty much trace my finger around the area and I bet it would match up exactly as to where I was nuked. Boob is sore too....but the pain is in the tissue area, and the meat between the actual bone...so I have dx'd myself with mild costochondritis. Not a big issue for me...since it has been there for 1.5 years now I am guessing it is perm. and I really don't care about it at all as I feel that rads for me was a no-brainer. Now...just need to stop POKING MYSELF!!!!!!!
Laundry just buzzed....hope you all have a fantastic day even with the chilly temps. Looks like next week will be better...so hang in there! Hugs!
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Thanks girls! I appreciate your "shoulders"... Just one more thing... not only do we have to deal with the aftermath of the dreaded bc diagnosis, but most of us are dealing with the dreaded AGING process as well... lol It's the double wammy! lol It's going to be tough, going forward, determining which aches and pains are due to which process! lol
Wendrew - NO MORE POKING!
Jackie - That photo of your deck! OMG - it's so beautiful... can't wait till we can all be outside soaking up the sun.
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