Illinois ladies facing bc
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chgogemini, Zap is right. You need to ask your doctor to give you more help for your anxiety. You don't have to suffer like you are now. Surely your doctor's office has a Saturday clinic or someone on call you can help you soon. I was a total mess right before my excisional biopsy surgery (no needle punch) and the pathology report. Seems much like what you are going through.
Some simple things that might help. Take a long warm shower and breath slowly and deeply paying attention to the breathing. Play a noisy, physical game with your kids outside. Go for a fast walk through your neighborhood talking gibberish to yourself. Put on some calming music you can dance to. Anything that might physically exhaust you, induce relaxation or take your mind off the waiting may give you some respite until you get more help.
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I'm lways so far behind, but that's me-
Rene great news!!!!
Chgogemini---u'r post really got to me--I am so sorry u are going thru all this anxiety--it's always the unknown for most---but think about this--u do know about this from all of us and eeryone here has had chemo and of course it's different for everyone, but I think mentally it's all the same for most. Every Dr. and nurse zi ever had was so wonderful to me that it gives u comfort from day 1 and eery time after. So u'll be in good hands, I'm sure and any questions u forget the answers will be here for u (not from me, I don't kno a thing) U'll be fine, all of this will be fine but like was said tell u' Dr. call Tomorrow if needed and get something for anxiety--the Drs. don't want u to suffer in anyway so they give u loads of help and once all of this starts it will be over before u know it. Han in there--cuz u'll be fine.
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So sorry you're not getting much relief, chgogemini. Do you take xanax only at night? You might need a daytime dose too. Have you taken the antidepressant yet? I think your doctor was trying to help you with the depression and anxiety. It is normal to feel anxious, depressed, and sad with the diagnosis, but once you have started treatment you usually start feeling better because you are doing something about it.
I agree with zap and doxie, and doxie has a good point about keeping active and busy with the kids. Try to keep your mind off of it, even for just awhile. And get help from your medical team. The antidpressant can only work if you take it, and usually you need a few doses before you know. There are many other drugs out there, so you might call your doctor and tell him or her if what you have is not working. They can also send you to a therapist who you can talk to, and that can be very helpful.
Thinking about chemo is worse for most of us than actually doing the chemo. Once you have your plan for treatment, and start it, you will feel better.
Hugs, and hang in there.
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chgogemini I have to admit the powerwalks or the gym workout probably kept me sane when I was first diagnosed. I would go out everyday for at least an hour. I know that isn't always possible when you have kids.
and it is not unusual to need meds to get over the anxiety. I know my doctors all prescribed them as part of my surgery meds and chemo meds. If you need them before be sure to ask. Dr. C is pretty good about not wanting her patients to suffer. Actually she will send you to a specialist if she sees an issue, doesn't matter if it's your feet (podiatrist), skin rash (dermatologist), eye issues (ophthalmologist), etc. She won't try to solve this herself if she knows someone better should handle it. I'm sure if she thinks your anxiety is over the top she'll send you to someone but I wouldn't wait till you see her. Call your BS or your PCP.
♥ ♥ ♥
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Hope has two beautiful daughters: Courage and Anger. Anger at the way things are and Courage to make them the way they ought to be.
- Augustine of Hippo0 -
Smerf....you have a 'written' calming influence and I don't even need it. chgogemini, the other girls have given you great advice and as well Lago knowing how much relief can be had with settling your thought processes down by honing in sharply with other mental and physical activities. Smerf knows ( former nurse, along with a couple of others ) much about medications though can only guide a little. All wise words.....I know the chatter of your fear may be a little louder, but when you see yourself......see yourself surrounded by a large group of friends from BC.Org that want nothing more than to walk with you and be a huge part of your support. Look at all the dates up by our avatars of when we started here.....and know we stay here for people just like you. Hugs and healing and calming vibes coming your way.
Peace & love,
Jackie
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Chgogemini
I hope today is a better day for you and you are feeling stronger. Before my diagnosis, I was healthy, never a stitch, broken bone or surgery. A lot of adjusting to do. My children and husband were the biggest supporter for me, lean on your DH and allow him to help with your anxiety. So many people are loving you through this. Knowing everyone is there will help, this is a song my DD gave me, I cry everytime but am comforted everytime too.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WxIt70j_SPk&feature=plpp
These women have been a great source of wisdom and comfort to me, even if I only read and don't post, I have come here when scared, nervous, worried, joyful or peaceful. You are stronger than you ever imagined.
I surrounded myself with things from loved ones to help me through the worse. A quilt my sister made, a bracelet from another sister, pictures of my family, the same chemo bag for every treatment a niece sent for my surgery a clasp cross that is shaped to a gripping fist to hold on to from my daughter and other little things. Find the little things that give you comfort and cling to them.
Always feel free to come here ... Soon we will all be years out helping others.
I think this is a short time in the long life I plan on living, and I will get through it. So will you. You will find strength from within you never knew.0 -
Zap, lago, smerf, illinoislady, gracembraced, cam illegal and doxie, Mdg
You ladies are truly the best. I read your posts and my heart melted and I Cried because of all the love I feel from you all. I'm going to try and be happy and when I'm sad ill try to distract myself. I'm not good at handling things that go bad especially from me. I'm a worry wart!!! I lost My dad dies to cll last year and its even harder to deal with. I saw how hard he fought and he died on front of me holding my hand. It was so hard to get over it. Now me i got bc and now I have to get chemo. I saw him with chemo and its so scarey to me.0 -
chgogemini I popped back in---Ok better understanding of u'r fear. It's still very fresh in u'r mind with u'r dad and u watched hime suffer so.
That's trgic when u wtch u parents die and they are holdin your hand. I know. Your fear is real, we all know that, but u'r spirit is stronger than u'r fear and I promis what u are going thru will go away as soon as al this starts for u. This will not be what u'r dad wen thru--this is u--no one else and u will be fine. And we will all walk u thru this if u need us.
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chgogemini - I don't have anything more to add to all the truly great advice that's already been given to you. But I am glad to know that you are taking it all to heart. This is scary stuff - it would be unusual for you NOT to be anxious. Adding that you recently lost your father, and it's easy to understand why you feel the way you do.
Whether you need medication, or long walks, or meditation... or all of the above
, just do it. You will get through this, one day at a time. 0 -
chgogemini--I am so sorry to hear about your dad. All the advice above it so true. I was diagnosed a year ago this week, and as soon as I was, I started losing sleep; my mind would just race. I had an rx for sleeping pills that I took maybe once a week, but I knew my health (i.e., needing sleep) was of the utmost importance so I started taking them nightly. After meeting with my MO, she gave me an rx for lorazapam which really helped me with any chemo-related anxiety. I now taking nothing. You need to do what you need to do to get through it. WHere do you live? I can come hold your hand if you're not too far! Hugs, girl!
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Today is a unique and special day.
It is unlike any other day you have ever experienced.
If you assume that today is like every other day,
you will never notice today's uniqueness.
If you practice keen awareness, you will get
to savor today's uniquely wonderful qualities.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0 -
Hi Illinois ladies, I just found this thread, am from Willow Springs, moving to LaGrange in a few months in the midst of all this, but all of that will keep me distracted. Am 5 days post lumpectomy/sentinel node biopsy surgery, waiting for pathology results. Which seems to be all I've done since starting this journey last Nov. 9 when I got my diagnosis after a routine annual Mammo. So it has been two months of waiting for surgery while more tests were run: diagnostic mammo, ultrasound, MRI, another ultrasound to check out spots they found on MRI which turned out to be benign, then finally the BRCA test, which was negative, thank God. And all this through the holidays, which probably contributed to delays, but were a great way to keep my mind busy with other thoughts. I swear the waiting is the hardest part. I'm so scared eight now that what I've been told so far, which is optimistic, could be blown away when I get my path report back. One very small IDC tumor, doesn't appear to be anywhere else in either breast, nodes look good on these preliminary tests so far, so we're hoping it'll end up being just this lumpectomy followed by rads and hormone therapy. But I've read so many stories of finding nasty surprises after surgery....when the real story is revealed after the pathology report comes back. So the waiting on this path report is the hardest one of them all, I think. But at least I'll have the definite story, finally, and know exactly what I'm actually dealing with, a grade and a stage. It may be almost a relief to have a definitive diagnosis. My BS has told me that despite how things appear to be after all these preliminary tests, I could still need more surgery or even chemo if they find any surprises in surgery. So she is being honest. So I am trying to be optimistic while still preparing myself just in case. And adding to the stress, of course, is all the second guessing about whether I did the right thing with just a lumpectomy and not a mastectomy, which I've seen a lot of on this site....ladies who have opted for mastectomies or even BMX's despite very early, tiny tumor, low stage, no nodes, hormone receptor +, HER2-, and negative BRCA diagnosis. Of course I've seen just as many with this very early stage diagnosis who have gone just the lumpectomy route. So it's all very confusing. Sorry for the long winded post here! This is a wonderful site and I did do a lot of reading and following of stories before I finally joined, am so glad I did. It really helps!
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dbm75 sorry to welcome you here but glad you found us. Yes the waiting IS the hardest part. I had the same experience as you. 8 weeks after my mammo/US I finally had surgery. It was summer. The wait is not that unusual.
The surprises come out in surgery. Yes some can happen in the final path but I think more seems to happen, if they are going to happen at surgery and you got through that. Granted there is no science to my thought. Doing an MX or BMX is very personal but there are certain guidelines that will recommend you do it and others that don't recommend. It's best to discuss this with your BS or onc regarding the real statistics in your case of you getting a new breast cancer in either breast. Depending on your risk factors there is a good chance it is much lower than you think. BMX was highly recommended for me because I had a small amount of LCIS in the "good breast" and the tumor in the other breast was just too large.
Here's one article just posted on BCO.org: Fear Pushes Many Women to Choose Double Mastectomy Please note that not all the reasons for recommending a BMX are listed.
Here is another link from the National Cancer Institute (less biased than bc.org IMO) that lists the reasons for BMX Preventive Mastectomy
I'm sure others will be here soon. This is an amazing group of supportive women. I'm in Chicago. I don't think LaGrange is that far but our group is all over Illinois.
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dbm welcome to Illinois Ladies. Glad you found us and are here. You are so right.....the waiting is an extremely miserable part of this journey. Sometimes the worst part is just finding out that you have this disease. At any rate hopefully your wait will soon be over.
It is unfortunate that we are not at a point where some specific things can be known. Like what treatment you will derive the most benefit from for your specific circumstances. There is a lot known now though and thank goodness your treatment plan will be made up of those things that are known to work and work very well based on your pathlogy report.
I in fact, was one of the ones who started out with one of the most "lightest" diagnosis and wound up with a heavy-duty one. That does not mean that you won't do fine --- and as to your outcome. Just adds a bit more work into getting there.
My surgeon told me that whatever I chose to do.....my treatment at the time she saw me would be the same. I could have the breast removed and I would need some radiation and hormonal therapy.........or I could have a lumpectomy and I would need some radiation and hormonal therapy. Either way I would be treated the same exact way. She said the majority of Dr's like to do breast sparing ( lumpectomy ) surgery if possible. It is easier and you don't have the longer recovery time or rehab. As it turned out a second tumor was found hiding under a bruise that had become fairly old at the time of lumpectomy....and that is what changed my pathology report......and gave me 6 mos. of checmo with a lot more radiation at the end. There was clean margins and no node involvement and I am 5 years old now and doing just fine. If that will continue....who knows. I've learned to worry about today and whatever problem may arise because about all else I am powerless.
We will all be hoping you have a great pathlogy report, which in fact does sound from your description, like a pretty fair possibility. No matter what...there are a lot of great women here who are good at caring, supporting and cheering you on.
Wishing you wonderfully well.
Peace & love,
Jackie
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Dbm75 welcome to this group of beautiful women. And also welcome to my area. I live in Western Springs.
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DBM: Welcome. I was given a choice, but like Jackie said, the treatment would have been the same. I opted for lumpectomy. I have noticed that more women tend to get mastectomies when they are younger. My dx was a year ago this week, and I had my surgery on 3/12. I, too, had to wait, but in the end, I am glad I waited. It gave me time to reflect, get my head wrapped around what needed to be done, was able to research what I wanted and I was very calm when it was all said and done. One of the things many women who have been in our shoes was that you WILL get through it. One day at a time. This past year went so quickly for me. I go for my one-year mammo on Wednesday and am a little nervous about that, and then an appt. on Friday with my BS. This is a great group of women and we welcome you to this thread! XOXO
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Welcome DBM --u've come to the right place for lots of answers and care- Everyone here is so knowlegable and kind u will find comfort too.
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We need to find the "middle way" in our own lives. It is the art of finding balance. Reflecting upon our lives, we soon discover what serves us well--nurturing calmness, ease, and simplicity. We also discover what it is that leads to entanglement, confusion, distress, and anxiety. Wisdom is being able to discern the difference, then knowing what we need to nurture and what we need to learn to let go. -Christina Feldman
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Welcome dbm...you have found a good supportive thread! I also was diagnosed near the holidays. I had my first lumpectomy a day before Thanksgiving and then found that they didn't get clean margins so I had my second surgery a few days before Christmas. This was 6 years ago. Once I made my decision, I never looked back in doubt. I relied on my doctor's advice and once I got started with my treatment plan I handled things much more easily because I felt that I was doing something to counteract all this and I finally had a little control. Please keep us informed about how your path report comes out. I have my fingers and toes crossed for a good report for you! Hugs!
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Hi ladies, I just wanted to pop in and let you all know that I finally got the results of the MRI. Instead of a suspected hemangioma in my liver, the MRI showed simple cysts and no evidence of metastatic disease. So, YAY! I also had my first mammogram last Wed and received a letter from the hospital on Saturday telling me the results were normal. So, double YAY! I want to thank you all again for your kind words. You ladies are the best!
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Great news. Thanks for sharing!!!!
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AWESOME NEWS KristinFro. You are the 2nd post I've read today about good scan results. It's a good day!
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KristinFro...........YEA! YEA! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Kristin-what wonderful news! I am so happy for you!!!
Welcome DBM-so glad you discovered this group. Positive thoughts for a good path report.0 -
Kristin....celebrating your results. Wish we didn't have to have the "worries" over some of these things which so often turn out just fine. I'm so glad everything turned out great for you. Happy - Happy.
Peace & love,
Jackie
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Thank you, ladies!!
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Kristen great news--so so happy for u.
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Wonderful news Kristenfro!
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Great outllok here:
On Arturo Toscanini's eightieth birthday, someone asked his son, Walter,
what his father ranked as his most important achievement. The son replied,
"For him there can be no such thing. Whatever he happens to be doing at
the moment is the biggest thing in his life-- whether it is conducting
a symphony or peeling an orange."
Ardis Whitman0
