Illinois ladies facing bc
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Looking for your ideas. I have a dear friend in Minneapoils who was diagnosed with appendix cancer-surgery was done to remove as much as possible, followed by chemo. When they went back in they found the cancer had spread to the point they could not doing anything more. She has applied to a program at MD Anderson as a last hope. I'm not sure what to do for her. I've been sending cards and emails, but would like to know what you think would provide the most comfort. I just went to visit her in February, and will visit her again when I can.
Thanks so much.
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Is she local? Can you bring prepared meals that can be frozen? Is there family you can call and ask?
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No, she's in Minneapolis.
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Hi spunky, when my dad had surgery last fall I ordered precooked and frozen meals from magickitchem.com...my parents loved them and you can choose from a numbe of package deals. I am sorry to hear about your friend and I hope this is helpful.
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You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0 -
Hi Ladies
Sorry I have been away for a few weeks...crazy work load getting ready to go out of town, then gone, then trying to catch up...and throw in a holiday and taxes due to boot..
I just trying to read through the 8 pages of posts I missed.
Welcome to the new ladies! You found a great place for resources, support, wisdom, understanding and love.
I celebrated my year one on March 20th with my first time out of town in over a year. My husband and son flew with me to my sisters in Colorado Springs and my daughter flew in from Phoenix for a relaxing four days. One day my daughter, sister, niece and I stayed in pjs until 2:00 pm! Comfy catch up time! The perfect way to forget about the lump I found a year ago.
Four or five more Herceptins left to go...
I met with a PS, he thinks I'm a great candidate for TRAM, using the fat and blood vessels from my abdomen...so I get a tummy tuck too. I was interested in getting my right breast removed and having both breasts reconstructed so they match. I went home with a great plan to have new breast by the end of the summer.
Then I saw my breast surgeon, who I trust and value her opinion. She talked to me about waiting and thinking it through. My cancer has a high rate to return within three years and I may be doing a major 10 hour surgery that may weaken my body or cause complications when I don't know what I'm in for in the coming years. She said the medical community is trying to figure out why there is a swing to know remove a perfectly good organ. "If you have melanoma that required removing your right hand, you would never say let's remove my left hand too just to be safe" The scar from hip to hip, the recover time, the complications that may occur...she encouraged me to give my body a year to heal after all my treatments and then decide. She gave me a lot to think about. I want to look normal and balanced again. I don't want to see what cancer took every time I get dresses. But I want to make the right informated decision too.
Well The Lord has brought me through this past year, I'm trusting I will get through this next step too.
Have a wonderful weekend!0 -
Hello ladies, hope you are all enjoying the weekend. I had a quick question.
I start chemo (AC) Tuesday and I was reading about the steroid I have to take after chemo, Dexamethasone. I was wondering how many of you took it and if you gained any weight? If any of you didn't take it, did you feel sick? I know many women who didnt take it and were fine so I am wondering if I should take it or not?
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks
Mehnaz
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I gained weight.
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Meni - I took the steroid and I did not gain weight, so it's not a given. It did make sleeping well harder for me though.
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I lost weight. It's a crap shoot. (c:
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Spunky what an awful thing for u and u'r friend, I'm so sorry--The only thing I can think of is to stay close with the phone- or email or cards there's not alt u can do day o day. If u can afford the meal thing I'm sure u can find a place where she lives that does that. Spunky I really don't know anything else.
Meni-I think most or all of us had steroids I didn't gain weight (I weigh enough) but I had loads of energy for a couple of days so my working then was a breeze then when it wore off my work did too. LOL
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Dear Spunky,
That is just such a tough one. I am in a similar position with a friend who starts crying but then says she is just fine and all she needs are my prayers. I am so frustrated as I really want to do something. Does your friend have family/husband. Are you close enough that if she does not have family you could help her organize her important papers?
She mght really want a visit if you are up to it. I know your work schedule is demanding but there is a train trip to Minneapolis I want to try one day. It takes a little over five hours but it takes you through the backyards of the Midwest so it gives you plenty of time to look outside and to slow down the pace of living!
Good luck with your friend.
Susan
PS I visited a friend who chose to stay in her home even though she was so sick. Her refrigerator was just awful with very old food and yuck. I suggested that I could clean it our for her. She told me she didn't want me to do that. She wanted me to read A Christmas Carol to her. Gently find our what HER priorities are right now.
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Steriods kept my fluid retention down. As soon as I was off them I would put on at least 4-5lbs. Total Violet. I felt find on it but only took it for a few days each treatment. Actually I loved them. I got a little buzz but not so bad that it kept me from sleeping.
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Oh Spunky, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I have often made "funny bags" for my sick friends. (This boosted WendyTY's spirits more than anything else I did.) I go to the Dollar Store and buy up 10 to 14 things that are funny. I wrap them up individually and then number the packages and put them into a big brown bag. They can open one each day until they are gone. I put a clever little card on each one. One day I sent her a manicure. It was actually children's plastic fingertip nails. It brought a smile. Another day I might say, "No matter what happens today, don't let anyone burst your bubble" and it was a little container of bubbles.
Then "chocolate is a girl's best friends" and inside is a box of Milk Duds. "Today let's color your world", and inside is a coloring book and box of crayons, etc. etc. They're goofy but for about 20 dollars you can bring several days of smiles and I've been told that they couldn't wait to open the next day's surprise.It is so hard to know what to do for people we love when sickness hits, isn't it? Hugs to you! She's lucky to have you for a friend.
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Oh Spunky, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I have often made "funny bags" for my sick friends. (This boosted WendyTY's spirits more than anything else I did.) I go to the Dollar Store and buy up 10 to 14 things that are funny. I wrap them up individually and then number the packages and put them into a big brown bag. They can open one each day until they are gone. I put a clever little card on each one. One day I sent her a manicure. It was actually children's plastic fingertip nails. It brought a smile. Another day I might say, "No matter what happens today, don't let anyone burst your bubble" and it was a little container of bubbles.
Then "chocolate is a girl's best friends" and inside is a box of Milk Duds. "Today let's color your world", and inside is a coloring book and box of crayons, etc. etc. They're goofy but for about 20 dollars you can bring several days of smiles and I've been told that they couldn't wait to open the next day's surprise.It is so hard to know what to do for people we love when sickness hits, isn't it? Hugs to you! She's lucky to have you for a friend.
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Some soothing music is you know some favorites or even something that sooths you might work. Just something to drift with for awhile....no thinking required. Just a thought I had a couple of days ago and forgot to write it down.
Peace and love,
Jackie
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Rita-that's perfect. She has family and friends nearby, but it's always fun to get a package in the mail and she has a wonderful sense of humor. Thanks to everyone for your help and good thoughts. xoxo
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Spunky I love Rita's idea--it's such a cheerer upper thing to do and
Zap I'm sorry the same thing in going on for u, it so difficult.
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Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that
everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no
coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.~~~~~~~~~Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross0 -
Meni -- I didn't experience any weight issues with the steroid. I did experience some emotional ones though... I came home from my first chemo feeling powerful! The steroid gave me enormous mental fortitude... felt like I could do anything. But then I really crashed from them a few days later, and found myself very fragile and weepy for a few days until I would regain my equilibrium. After three cycles I figured out it wasn't just the normal ups and downs of cancer and being in treatment, the steroids were doing a total number on my emotions. I went on an anti-depressant for the remainder of my treatment and I felt stable after that, the steroids were so much more tolerable.
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No weight issues with the steroid...tons of energy though! I got a lot accomplished on the days I took it!
It's such a pretty morning here!!! Loving the warmer temperatures. I am so excited...just hired the local high school lacrosse team to deliver mulch and spread it (they do it for a fundraiser). They spread over 10 years of mulch in less than an hour! Last year DH and I had to do 17 yards.......I am so excited it's done! Jumping for joy this morning looking at the freshly mulched gardens in my yard. I keep thanking DH for doing this! I only have to do the front garden after I work on it which will be so easy compared to last year. It's the little things that make me smile like mulch! Anyone else getting the gardens ready?
What is everyone doing on this pretty and warm day? I hope you all get out and enjoy it! Maybe spring is really here!!
Positive thoughts and prayers to all still going through treatments and surgery.....minimal side effects and quick recoveries I hope!
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A little bit of Spring:
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Paul is doing better these days and we are now going on little "excursions" together. He fatigues easily so we go to places that have benches
Today we went to the Planetarium on Lake Michigan. Oh so lovely. You look at the images of the planet Earth from a space shuttle or an IMAX of the stars/planets....and you just have to believe there is something so BIG besides this!If any of you have boys or girls who are fascinated with space, take in a trip to the Planetarium. Sadly these museums are so expensive that I hesitate to even suggest it. I know you can get a museum pass for a whole day (exhausting) and perhaps they have free days. The IMAX-like shows are not included with the admission price (about $10/person).
Spunky, Rita's idea regarding your friend was so much more uplifting than my own. It is all so sensitive that you just need to be intuitive. Leave it to me to want to clean out my friend's refrigerator while she wanted me to read to her. Intuition is perhaps not one of my strong points. I loved Rita's idea too! I also wish to add that when I was going through chemo, my son-in-law's mother sent me a very soothing tape. Music is so therapeutic. Good idea, Jackie.
Have week.
Susan
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I think the view of Chicago from the Planetarium is the best in the city. I used to go there often with my kids and there was always a wedding photo being taken with the city as backdrop. It's really a breathtaking view and I'm so glad you could get out there and enjoy it on this sunny day!
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Sounds wonderful Susan! You chose just the right day too.., though a cool breeze, the sushine was glorious! I'm so glad that you got to have an excursion with your hubby. You deserver it!
Spunky~ I was wondering if your friend enjoys "papmering" at all? A mani?, pedi? mani/pedi?, facial? massage? It doesn't necessarily have to be "high-end" just a little pampering. If she's not able to get out, maybe you could find someone to come in to the house to do some pampering? I don't know.., just a suggestion. I took my cousin out for a pedicure last time we visited and learned it was the "first 'spa' pedicure" she had ever had in her life (she's 43). She enjoyed it!
meni33~ I also took steroids. I learned to schedule my chemo to "crash" on the weekend and I believe the steroids (and the children that I work with) is what kept me going!
Jackie~ Thank you so much for that little bit of spring picture! I'm seeing some green peeking up in the garden and I can't wait 'til it's ready to show it's beauty!
Sounds like we have rain coming our way to feed our gardens and make us crazy. I'll try to focus on the feeding the garden part.., I just don't know WHAT's going to happen to this curly-top in the rain?!?!
Whatever it is I'll remind myself how happy I am to have it! (hair, that is.., not the mop-top)! 
Have a great week all! I'm preparing a surprise party for my ex's 50th. Sweet, I know! (but)We always made much better friends than a couple! I can't wait.., he's going to be SO surprised!!!
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Grace I'm going to take exception to the advice your BS gave you.
- If you need additional time to ensure that you are physically strong enough for the TRAM surgery, fine, then wait. But, that would be an assessment on the part of the PS, s/he is doing the surgery and knows what is required for best results, not your BS.
- Her proposing an analogy of melanoma of the hand to breast cancer is specious, at best. The conditions that caused you to get breast cancer in the first place largely still exist and guess what, you still have a breast with the unique breast tissue that reacts to whatever those conditions were for you. That's why so many people (me, included) have prophylactic mastectomies, to eliminate as much as possible the likelihood that breast cancer (especially one that has been described to you as likely to come back) has a place to re-establish itself. (By the way, I learned I had undiagnosed LCIS in the "prophylactic" breast that no one spotted on any other the many many screening and diagnostic tests that had been done.)
Yes, there is a hip to hip scar from DIEP or TRAM. Yes, there will be scars on your new breasts that weren't on your original breasts. Yes, if you only reconstruct one (you could still do a DIEP or TRAM), the matching is a bit harder but a good PS can do it. No, you will never be in the position of being able to look at yourself naked in the mirror and not be somehow reminded of what has happened. On the other hand, it will be a whole lot easier to pretend it never happened than when you have one unreconstructed breast.
I would go back to the PS and discuss your BS' concerns. If possible, also go for a second PS opinion.
Good luck with a tough decision.
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Meni I took the dex too. My MO believes so strongly in the benefits that she would not permit the chemo infusion if you didn't take it. I had no weight gain. Some report emotional swings when you come off it and I may have experienced that, too, it's hard to tell. The dex was wearing off right when all the other infusion anti-nauseants were wearing off and so that's when I started feeling bad each time. I know I had emotional distortion as the result of anticipating feeling poorly.
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Grace Lynn makes loads of sense to me--Goo thinking and maybe u can do this and u'r decision will be easier and more planned out for u.
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Meni... will be thinking of you on Tuesday as you begin your chemo. My MO insisted on the Dexamethasone also. I always gained about 4 pounds on day of chemo.... wonderful. And like many others, I experienced that "emotional distortion" (thanks for that Lynn27
) when I was coming down off of it.Rita... what a wonderful idea for Spunky to do for her friend. I'll have to remember that one.
Zap.. so glad that you and your DH were able to enjoy the Planetarium. With the weather warming up and spring blooms starting to pop up, there will be more opportunities to take advantage of like that.
I am so anxious to get back on my bike, but recovery from exchange surgery is hindering that. My PS didn't even want me doing any power walking... he was afraid I would swing my arms and he didn't want that. LOL. I can power walk without swinging my arms. What a beautiful day today! Looks like a very rainy week ahead though. We really need it for our gardens so I will try not too complain. Mdg... wish that LaCrosse team traveled up my way.
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I wish I had had a prophylactic mastectomy but my surgeon also talked me out of it. The cancer in one breast does not skip to the other breast. If you get cancer in th eother breast it has to be a new one. Then she told me that once it's invasive it can be anywhere in the body so removing the other breast does not insure not getting mets.
That said, I have difficult breasts to examine and it's always in my mind, what is going on there?
And the likelihood of a second cancer is 3x more than average, so yes, the situation persists.
I went back and forth with it but in the end I decided that less is more and being under anesthsia for 5 hours was enough for me. I didn't want to make things one bit harder than necessary. So the dr does make some sense to me. I had very little pain almost none! Recovery was much simpler than it might have been had i opted for a second mastectomy with reconstruction.
But I do wish the other breast just wasn't there! Hard, had decisions, every step of the way and it's never black and white. It's all different shades of gray. Good luck to you! to all of us!
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