Illinois ladies facing bc
Comments
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“When you judge you project your shadows onto others, when you love you project your light.” ~ by Aine Belton
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A great, big, rousing Happy Birthday to the birthday girls....Lago & Corrine. Have lots and lots please.
Blessings
Jackie
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Thanks but our birthday's are Friday. I don't want to rush it
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Coming up on a year after my March 2013 diagnosis at age 65. Modified radical mastectomy in April at a university hospital in Chicago. Am still doing Herceptin after my 6 cycles of Taxotere and Carboplatin and Herceptin. Am a bit symptomatic, with increased pulse and b/p, though the MO is not worried and I am having Echocardiograms every two months or so. Am also taking Arimedex daily. It is causing some troublesome insomnia. Have started taking it in the morning to try to offset this. The chemo, particularly in the later cycles, ranged from doable, to never, EVER again. My family is aware of this, calling me Taylor Swift after her never, ever, ever getting back together song! I am adamant about this. In the last two cycles, I would get up in the morning, brush my teeth, make my bed, and then lie down on it again due to exhaustion. Could eat almost nothing, and what I did eat tasted like metal shavings topped off with acid rain. Even chocolate tasted bad, and anyone who knows me knows that this is so wrong!!! I spent summer lying on my bed, the couch, the outdoor recliner, dozing while upright or prone, and wrapped in a shawl even on 90 degree days. (Imagine how I am wrapped up through this Chicago winter, one of the worst on record.) I went nowhere all summer, had to stay within a few steps of a flush toilet due to the diarrhea, which was almost constant in the final two cycles. I was so short of breath in the heat, that I couldn't walk into the medical center for my physical therapy (lymphedema) without two rest stops. This is my small local medical center, not the large one in Chicago. I couldn't take the Zyrtec daily due to nervousness and anxiety that it caused, and the lorazepam they prescribed did nothing for me. The lymphedema aches so and my shoulder hurts, and I hate the compression sleeve. I continue to have runny eyes, runny nose, sneezing attacks, even though my last chemo was October 1. White count is still not 5,000 yet, either. My daughters think I'm cured, my DH acts as if he wants me cured quick so things can get back to normal around here, and I am angry at the universe which seems to want me gone. I feel like my life has changed forever and for the worse and I will never be the same me. I told my MO before chemo that this was my fear, that my previous schedule, interests, work, stamina and personality would never be the same. I think I was right. And the MO never offered much in the way of encouragement, either, except for statistics if I did this or that treatment. Needless to say, I changed physicians after the 6 chemos.
Our local support group has been less than wonderful, though I have gone to some activities there. Thanks for letting me rant.
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Welcome, Barb. Sorry you've had such a hard time with everything, we are here to lift you up when you need it. I'm happy to hear you changed MOs - it's so important to feel your doctor is encouraging and positive and supportive. The ladies on this board are wonderful and I know you will find this a safe place to land when you are feeling down. It will get better, take it one day at a time!
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Barb,
You are in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))
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Welcome Barb. I too am so sorry you have had such a difficult time. I'm glad you found us. Also glad you changed your Dr. Seems like there should have been other meds to try, but you are through it now. As the chemo is cumulative....I think the last ones are a bit trickier to get over as well as lasting longer.
Some of us sail through easier than others, sigh !!!! but almost all of us got blind-sided when diagnosed. I was sure that this happened to other people and would never cross my path. I had a difficult time in tx. Lost 38 #'s from throwing up........but did later look on it as something I had to do to help the Dr.'s save my life.
It comes, we find a new normal and learn to enjoy a good life again. I look on every day as another fantastic gift and my hope is that these issues you have soon clear up, and you will start into another part of this journey ( a trip no one much likes ) that will give you an appreciation for what is now, rather than what was.
I am wishing you as well as I possible and hope that soon you really will be.
Blessings
Jackie
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Barbe sent you a PM. Hang in there. It really does take some time to get back to "you" again. You've been through a lot!
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LAGO!
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Barb: ((Hugs))
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Karen, it's beautiful down here. You will have so much fun celebrating with the bc gals! Hugs to all of you!
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Yes Barb welcome, peace and hugs. Karen have a blast! And some day I will catch you on a trip to or from Bradley.
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Thanks for all the kind words. I have felt pretty alone in this, plenty of friends but have found that most of them only want to know how well I am doing, isn't that great you're doing so well and we don't have to tsk tsk or somehow show support or talk about anything DEEP, God forbid, or anything DEPRESSING so we can get back to our own lives and not be reminded of our own mortality or frailty or susceptibility to CANCER, God forbid. I think that's what I've become, one of those "There but for the grace of God goes......". I look in the mirror and I don't know how I aged 10 years since chemo, and this Arimidex isn't helping my face either. So when everyone tells me how good I look, I think HORRORS, do I look THAT BAD that they think I'm circling the drain, so they have to say something encouraging before the vortex sucks me down?????? LOL (but not really, more like Sobbing Out Loud). Aw, hell, stop me before I lose it entirely!!!! I don't want to be the first person banned from bc.org, like a bad episode of Seinfeld or something. Oh well, must quit because the neuropathy is bad tonight, and my fingertips hurt. Thanks again!
Barb
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barb - i think at some point we have all felt a little alone in this process. I found these threads to be a "life line" to vent to total strangers that absolutely get it! They completely understand bad days and have your back. You have the opportunity to vent and find peace. I'm sorry you had a rough journey but hope this is just a bump in the road for you. I've had a few bumpy days - but these lovely ladies all help you get thru.
I'd love to meet some of you! I don't post much on this thread but i have been creeping and following for several weeks.
Thanks to all of you for letting me share in your experiences and knowing i'm not alone
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Karen -- hope you have the time of your life. In the process of 8 ins. of snow here today. Yikes. What a winter. I'd stow away but too much to do.
Blessings
Jackie
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Barb.....I think most of us have felt alone as we've gone through the process of diagnosis, surgery, treatments, emotions, and this complete roller-coaster ride. That's exactly why I started this thread for Illinois women. I was so upset, scared, frustrated, and "alone" and I was looking for SOMEBODY that understood and could offer a little guidance and support. Unfortunately, it all comes with the journey so what you are feeling is very common. Hugs to you! Use our thread to vent, share, gather support and help you get through this! There is a good life waiting for you after treatments.
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Barb u've come to a good place to get it all out. We are all at different times with how we feel--it just takes longer for some, after all our bodies have.had gone thru soooo much and most of it just isn't a normal process, it take a lot to get rid of this horror cells so u can imagine what it does to us and altho everyone seems to think Oh u'r about done, for so many of us nope we're not but how can u explain this after all it's all been cut out and treated so therefore done. It would e niceif that's the case but again it takes all of us differently and differently emotionally so there is no right or wrong in how to handle it---And if u read a lot of these thread most women say I look 10 yrs. older, Our skin suffers badly so u do need some lotion that works for u to help a bit. Don't feel alone-this is the place to be and u will find compassion and understanding here--so vent away--we listen.
KJ---HAPPY TIMES FOR YOU
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There’s
always room for expressing our uniqueness and love and changing the world with
it, no matter what our position in life. I
saw on the news a New York City subway conductor who sent out poetry, love, and
messages of good cheer over his loudspeaker system instead of the usual “Stand
clear of the closing doors.”
He is a true original.
So are you—if you will simply learn to express your originality.
Share your life with those who are also on the journey and you will
change the world. Bernie
Siegel0 -
Barb-Ritajean is right on. (And thank you Rita for starting this thread. ) This is a place where you can vent and everyone understands what you are going through because we have either all been there or are having similar experiences. I think it was great that you changed doctors.
If you aren't doing it already, I found that journaling really helped me get through those rough days. My sister-in-law, who also had BC suggested it. I'm one year out of treatment and last night I reread some of my entries and it's amazing how far I've come. You will get through this, too!!
Warm hugs!!!!
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Barb we've all used this as our bitch board at times. We've got to get it out. No one understands better than those of us who have been through it. No one has ever been banned from this thread. Only thing that will get you banned is dissing another member, selling stuff or death threats.
Hang in there. Are you in Chicago proper. I'm no the northside.0 -
I thought I lived in Illinois but now I think I live in Antarctica. Is there a board for there??
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Sure seems that way doesn't it Aviva ? I had the same thought almost.....to look for an Artic "thread" portion.
Blessings
Jackie
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I ran into an old high school friend in my MO's office recently, who was treated by the MO 23 years ago and proclaimed "cured". It came back this fall, in her bones now. After 23 years. How common is this? She is upbeat, starting treatment again. Bless her. I hate breasts, mammos, cancer, 3 Days and Avon Walks, Run for the Cure, pink ribbons, and all of it. Full of sound and fury, and what does it all mean?
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Coming back after 23 years is rare but it does happen. Are you sure it came back or is it a new diagnosis? According to my onc most recurrences happen in the first 2-3 years after diagnosis. I have also read that higher grades seem to recur earlier than lower grades but that was just one study. I'm not sure if more have been done. Not sure how true but it kinda makes sense. But some of us have mixed tumors.
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We just lost a very close friends Mom who was a 30+ year survivor and 3 yrs ago it came back in her bones. I hope to have 30+ yrs ahead of me with no issues, as she did. There's no way of knowing what lies ahead, but to know long time survivors is reassuring!! I think the 1st few years are critical and hope that we all fair better with the strides they've made.
I am tired of all the commercials too - you dont want the constant reminder, but those donations have helped all the research. Catch 22 i guess
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MJS I'm sorry about u'r loss, and u'r right a lot has come along in all these yrs. So we have to hope it all helps us and especially our kids, so they never have to go thru this.
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I feel like shooting the TV when those commercials come on. Didn't Elvis do that!? (c:
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Every result you get in your life is the combination
of the challenge you
receive from the reality around
you and your capacity to respond to that
challenge. Fred
Kofman0 -
Barb, that phrase "there but for the grace of God" should be "there but for fortune". The first implies God's preference for ME. Oh, I don't like that!
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