Anyone on just Taxotere and Cytoxan?
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Cat1: Yup love the not shaving. Did yesterday for very little stubble...guess that will be the last time. One effect of this which I love...never has to regrow as far as I am concerned...blessing on no more shaving for a while. Love it!
Chelev: My Onc told me I would start loosing my hair 3 weeks out. I notice since the buzz job that when I was my scalp it feels weird in places a mild discomfort but not pain. So weird not to use all of the stuff to style my hair...but for sure loving the saved energy and time right now.
Kmmd: I had a rough time with chemo #1. I know know I had myself worked up not knowing what to expect. The effects weren't anything fun thats for sure. It took me a week to get off of sleeping on the couch and back in bed. I hate to say this but yesterday panic set in on if this is really worth getting so sick and dragging the body down so far. Until know I have told no one...but this is the experiences I have seen in my family...do keep in mind BC is the first of its kind of cancer in the long list of cancers in my family. I keep thinking that all of my family members went through chemo and radiation treatments...in the end all died from their cancer. I hate to bring this up but I question is this all going to really be worth it. I know there are tons of survivors from BC and all have walked in my shoes. But to live how long does that really mean? Mother died of ovarian cancer and lived for 6 years...she was a nurse and her health was always top priority, she did every treatment and followed all of the orders to a "T". Of course I don't want to die and want to live to a old age...you know where the adult children think I have really lost my marbles. But that fear finally surfaced and it worries me. I am pushing on with the treatments, I see we all have fears and if there is a chance this is going to work I am all for it. So sick or not, I just want the normal to return sooner than later. I always try to be upbeat on the forums and still am just those few hidden fears that pop out from time to time.
So with that I slept wonderful for two nights in a row...did have to take an anxiety pill last night but other than the normal ups and downs to the bathroom I feel better...love the sleep. And as ususal today will be a nap or two. When I get tired its sudden..and an hour nap makes me alert and ready to charge on again.
So even in our good and bad times we are going to march on, we will fight the fears and tackel the SE's and look to the day when we are done...I believe I will be a much stronger and better woman when all of this is done.
Hope everyone is having a good day and a ray of sunshine, smiles and humor is lifting everyones day.
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Hi Ladies...
Nadine...glad you have your first one down...you will start feeling better around day 7 or 8 post chemo and then really good right before you go in again...I think you are going in for #2 on April 22nd. Keep a list or journal of how you are feeling and of course let your doc know any SEs that are making you uncomfortable...unfortunately fatigue is normal and there is nothing they can do for that except rest and drink lots of fluids. You got one down and that's the best news....
My routine is every 3 weeks like yours....I will have my last one on April 23rd and it really has gone by pretty fast from when I started on February 8th.
Its so comforting knowing your DH is right by your side...give him lots of hugs...Hang in there and keep us posted on how you are doing....
Cindy
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chevlev: I had similar SE after my first neulasta shot. I couldn't take a deep breath for about 10 days. I was short of breath with the least bit of activity. My ribcage hurt, as did my neck and back. Felt like I had a tight band around my upper abdomen. The next round, we changed to neupogen daily shots for seven days -- get achy from that (tylenol helps) but no respiratory problems.
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Hi Everyone,
I wanted to thank all of you that replied to my post several days back. I didn't get to respond sooner because I ended up hospitalized and just got out today. Neutropenic fever that was not fun let me tell you but at least for the time being I feel a little more normal. They say they will take additional precautions with the next tx which is 4/24 because I was threatening to quit so we will see. I thought I was doing everything right. Drinking, sanitizing, eating, resting and so on. I guess I am just one of the unlucky ones that this will be a hard road for. Was hoping to go back to work next week and now that is definitely out. But I will plug along and pray for better luck with tx#2.
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Jax...so glad you are okay and out of the hospital....I landed there myself after number 2. Your onco doc will probably change your regimen for next time...at least that is what mine did for me...Hang in there and feel free to let us know how you are doing and if we can help SHOUT it out...
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Jax, glad you are okay! What is neutroponic fever?
I found out today from my onc that the shortness of breath is definitely Neulasta related - and it wasn't anything too severe, since I was getting good oxygen levels as measured from the ER on Sunday. Thank goodness! He said I'm just one of the few who will get the weird SEs. I can use my allergy inhaler next time if I need it to help with it. On the good side, we looked at my bloodwork from the ER and the Nuelasta definitely works - my WBC was 2.7% on Thursday and up to 14% on Sunday.
Getting my wigs cut and fitted tomorrow, I am so excited, although a few people at work are taking bets that my hair won't fall out. I am not one of those, my head (scalp) has been kind of achy today, and we're almost at 15 days from first tx. I'll be shocked if it doesn't, but I'm ready (mentally) for it.
Have a SE-free night!
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Chelev ...good news on what the culprit was for your breathing....and you will be one of the rarest if you keep your hair....as you can see my avatar...I thought I would too!
BE BRAVE AND SHAVE...you will be glad you did....
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Cruise4life: Looking good girl! Feels pretty darn good doesn't it? All of us just may start a new trend!!! LOVING IT!!! Sure glad we can make corrections when the brain is dumb mode...I am going to have to add a pic without the tears of my "bald is beautiful" ...
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Jax - glad you are back and feeling better. Cruise - brave and shave - that has been my motto and I get the greatest responses from strangers and children. We are educating as well as freeing ourselves. If someone catches my eye - I smile and greet. Don't get me wrong, I often break down and cry and have my moments but the public gets to see the cancer side with a smile and a hello. Decided when I am an old crazy lady and my hair is thinning - I will shave it off, put on hoops and bright pink lipstick
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Nadine, you raised some questions about living with cancer and then "beyond," managing the fears about the possibility of dying one day from this terrible disease. I am learning to live both with hope and the uncertainty of the future; that's what works for me. I have been trying for some time to learn how to let go of that desire to feel "in control" and to focus on those areas where I do have control (like whether or not I do chemo--which I decided to do--or have radiation for the second time--which I have not yet decided). I do feel that I can make decisions that have a positive impact on my health & overall well-being, but I also know that I can do as much right as I possibly can, and still this disease may recur. I understand what you are saying about being a "stronger person" after treatment is complete, and I can certainly say that I have grown stronger and stronger over my 14 year history with breast cancer. And I remain overall hopeful. I hope you will find your way of dealing with this experience and continue to benefit from the support of this great group of folks!
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Brenda: You are so right. Life is a fear and nothing in anyways life is a guarantee. Sometimes it seems my postings are rather down...at least I got through that bad moment. I figure I am doing what needs to be done and thats all I can do. I think we all probably have moments where a good slap in the face could knock us back to the now...Once all of this is done...I am sure there will be fears. But if it comes back then again we will deal with it all. Fears are a pretty bad deal...and I am lucky I can work through them...sometimes it may take a day or two but I get past them. I remember the fear of my mass surgery...got through it with no problems. And buzzing my hair was a major deal...once it was off I felt like I was free. I found out a long time ago I can really be my own worst enemy. I have never been overly religious do have strong belief's and for me I found my praying many times a day just sometimes a simple thank you to God has and does give me the strength to move on. I won't go into a lot of detail but I do believe without God's help I couldn't make it through each step of this. One of the many things I have came to terms with.
I really feel blessed with all of the wonderful friends I have made here from every part of the world. With so many we are building relationships that will last. This forum has helped knowing I am not alone and when I need to let it all out or share happy news I can. I have learned so much from others which does help so very much.
The one thing I wanted to do this year was go on the walk for the cure...however its over two hours away and just the ride would wear me down...next year I will be marching right along and proud of the fact I am there.
Hope everyone is doing good this evening...thinking about everyone...and all of the posts help me so much. Keep your heads high ladies. And keep those smiles and laughter, it certainly helps me each day to have both. At least I am learning not to be so tight and letting myself really be happy and not uptight. If the uptight comes it passes.
Nadine
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Hi to all of you due for Tx around 22nd-thats me as well and I have got this awful anxiety feeling in my stomach.I got all the se's after that neulasta shot so I am blaming it all on that and I am scared of it-maybe it wasnt the shot and it was the AC-who knows.
I cant get my head round the fact there are still 7 more to go ...I seem to think that its was one off and that is it....how childish can you get? must be denial because deep down Idont believe its me going through all this ....anyone else feel the same?
I shall call it the Santa Claus syndrome as its like a kid still believing in him.Maybe I do need the shrink my onc offered.
Hope all you ladies are well and coping-great weather today in Crete about 22c and all t he flowers staring to bloom-be thinking of you all around the 22nd
Love to all
Anna
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Annadou: I had the same problem as you a few days ago. Your fears are real. I found the Neulasta to be some nasty stuff. However I feel that having all of this done to us is what we need. I know its hard to wrap our minds around all of this at times. Its hard to imagine how something that tears us down so hard can be good for us. However I have questioned my doctors at great length on this and really do feel this is the best option. My impatience wanted it all over with...when I finally got myself together I realized its like this...baby steps, one at a time...if we fall down we get back up and do it all again. I believe no matter what our SE's can be its all for the same cause and that is to kill the cells still wanting to do us harm. Its hard but the chemo, shots, handful's of medicines, loosing hair from head to toe and so on are just part of the effects of all of this. The brain is a funny thing...it can work with us or against us. Your fears my dear lady are hard...but don't give up...stay focused on the real cause and thats to ensure those bad cells are killed once and for all. I also wish time would fly by faster...however those in-between times are good for the body to rebuild before its next treatments. Stay here on the forum it does really help. And do know my dear lady, we all feel your thoughts and feelings, its normal. But PLEASE don't give up...stay focused. I try to find humor in crazy things every day, watching the flowers grow, the birds, the squirrels chase each other over a peanut. I find pleasure in simple things and toss other things aside. Nothing matters more right now than those simple pleasures and trying to let the brain rest. When the next round comes we once again tackle all of the SE's but we do know that shall pass again into a better feeling (not normal as we knew it but better). Hang in there my friend we are with you. My thoughts and prayers are sent your say. My next treatment is on April 22nd, so lets do it together...miles apart mean nothing, so when I walk in the clinic I will know you are doing the same, as well as all of our other friends on this forum.
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Cruise4Life - I know, I know - I think it will be this weekend anyway, because my scalp is tender and has been for a few days, and now if I run my hands thru the top of my hair, (it's very thick), I am getting lots of individual strands. I'm ready - and after this afternoon, with the wigs cut and fitted, and the Look Good seminar, I'll be okay to do it!! The way I see it is, it won't be pleasant, but hey, then it's all gone and it darn well start growing back again!!
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Morning Ladies...
Welcome annadou...I have a very dear friend who lives in Greece...she and her husband built a home from scratch. kali tehe....
chelev...yes hair does grow back...it may not look or feel the same...but it does grow back. You mentioned that you are having wigs cut and fitted...are they natural hair or synthetic? I bought 5 wigs that are synthetic and no one can notice that they are wigs. I get so many compliments on them and they even ask who does my hair and that they want a cut like mine...when I tell them its a wig...you should see the looks they give...the color is so close to my original color that even close family members forget its a wig.
Nadine...how are you feeling today???
Brendatrue...you are blessed for sure...you are giving others hope that we can live with what is given to us and empower us to overcome what is thrown back at us. Keep your strength and positive attitude...
There are no guarantees in life...but we can live with what we know and live each day to our fullest...and prepare our families to help us through it all and help them as well.
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Ok, guys! I'm going to shave my hair tonight (day 17)! I've already lost close to half my hair and it looked so bad this morning I wore my wig today, so it's time. I had a sink full and I mean full this morning. It started on day 13 and keep getting worse each day. I think this is harder to deal with than the mass or maybe it's just the combination of now losing both. I'll be boob and hair less now! I know that once I get used to it, I'll love it. No more washing, drying, styling, etc. Just put on a wig, hat, etc or just go bald and go! May take a little time before I'll do the bald thing but my other half said he'd shave his off too!
It will grow back but I sure wish we could special order to not have the legs grow back. That would be a great bonus!
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Cat - you are right - I've shaved my legs once this past week and just started on letting the hair grow back on my head. Being bald was very freeing. I always wore my hair short so often didn't realize why people were staring and then realized it was the bald head. You have a good attitude and you'll do great - don't forget to moisturize the scalp as much as possible.
Everyone - Nadine, Brenda and everyone - THANKS for the inspiration to keep on....
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Hey, guys, it's great that we keep "showing up" for one another. Being as present as we can be and offering understanding and hope for ourselves and others is critical to effective coping, I think. I also have learned that hope comes in many different forms, down many different roads, and covers terrritory that we may doubt or find surprising in the beginning.
I hope that doesn't sound too confusing or wonky; my brain is running on pre-chemo steroids and I am just speaking what's on my mind. I appreciate all the feedback and support here. I will check in again, when I can, after TC #3 tomorrow. Have a peaceful night/day/weekend!
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I finished my 6th cycle of T/C yesterday. I'm so incredibly relieved! Took my last 2 steroids tonight as well as my Neulasta shot. While a few side effects are likely in my future, I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Now the big question....how long do I have to wait till I use the Nioxin to help my hair grow back?!?!?!
Take care my sisters. I'll be back to check on all of you!
Lisa
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Brenda and Lisa: I am in steroid mania too. Last (6th TC ) tomorow then I'll be on the other side. You will all get there!!
Anna: Welcome. Sorry you had to find us but know this is an awesome resource with incredible women.
chevlev and cat1 ; my heart goes out to you as you liberate your hair. It is a mess when it starting falling out. it is good to have in gone. it is hard - I thought I was prepared, and overall I did ok -- but not without tears and emotions - seems like that made the whole thing more real...no denying cancer when you look in the mirror. Now, 3 months later, I am used to the wig and headgear...and am looking forward to seeing what i look like with really short hair. I have always wondered, but never had the courage to cut it really short....I figure I'll know by about August.
Lisa: does nioxin really work?
Take care ladies --- we are alll in this together!
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Kathy/kt57 - best of luck tomorrow!!!!! just think....your LAST one! i was almost giddy at mine LOL! Hope you get some sleep tonight!
I'm off to take that ativan now.
g'night!
Lisa
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Thanks Lisa: I am in pre-chemo euphoria -- a SE you only get with the LAST one! Waiting for my ativan to kick in......rest well. Kathy0
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Hi all I have posted but a few times on this site but I am a TC gal so I check in every so often. I do want some advice from you wise women if you please. I am on a clinic trial that is testing the difference bt TAC and TC. I of course am on the TC end. The trial requires 6 tx of either combo. I have recently finished tx 4. From what I've read over time on this site it seems that most people with my diagnosis are only getting 4 tx. I would absolutely love to be done with chemo and not face anymore of it. I can get out of the trial although I would feel bad doing so as altruistically it's a nice thing to do. But it is hard to submit myself to unnecessary treatments if 4 tx are standard care. Bt chemo, Neulasta shots, bloodwork, and all the SE seeing an immediate end to it all would be wonderful. Is there any benefit to getting additional chemo tx? Is there such a thing as added protection from more of this? Thanks for any and all advice and info. My best to all.
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Suzanne, My Onc told me if I had been node positive she would have recommended 6 rounds, but as you've read here and they'll admit they really don't know the answer between 4-6. My Onc said they're basing a lot off of AC knowledge and some believe TC is so superior it may end up being used completely differently. My only advice is to make the decision based on what you want to do medically, not based on the needs of who is doing the trial. They'll still use the information they have gained to this point. In most cases they'll just ask you permission to continue to follow how you do.
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Cruise4Life - Hello! I have 2 synthetic wigs, one a little darker, my natural hair pre-highlights, and one lighter, which is closer to how I had been wearing it the last 2 months. The hairstylist at the American Cancer Society cut them to be a little more layered and boosted the bangs a little, and they both look pretty darn close to my old hair. I am going to pick up one more wig - maybe a little shorter, since I'm getting used to it being short. But, the hair is getting shaved this weekend - I can now run my hands thru it and get a good amount each time. Nothing on the pillow yet, but I don't want to get to that stage - it's just going to freak me out. The Look Good Feel Better program I went to last night was great - we all got makeup and skin care kits loaded with top end products - I'm talking Shishedo, Lancome, Clinique, Aveda, etc. They go through how to care for your skin, nails and then how to boost the eyebrows and eyelashes with makeup.
Hope everyone has a great day!
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Suzanne, My onc had originally wanted me to do 4 rounds of TC but when my oncotype score came back at 28 he had me do 6 rounds. I don't know if the extra 2 rounds did more good or not. I do know rounds 5 and 6 were definitely the hardest. From what I understand from this site, many oncs think 6 is over kill and I wish I had ended at 4. You need to do what feels right to you. You just never want to end up in that place where you say I wish I would have... Might be good to chat with your onc. You'll know in your heart what is right for you.
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lisalisa what is Nioxin? I want hair again. I have been done with chemo since 3/17 and the hair is growing but not fast enough.
kt57 congrats to your last treatment day!
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BALD IS BEAUTIFUL! I was dreading how I'd look but guys it an't bad! When they tell you that watching it fall out is more emotional than cutting it off - that is so true! I cried when it kept falling out but once I cut it, I didn't shed a tear! It's freeing! Do yourself a favor and don't keep watching it fall out, go ahead and cut it!
Chelev - that program sounds great! May have to see if there's anything like that in my area.
Happy Thursday!
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Suzmarks - wow that is the big question that tormented me (and my husband because I researched and talked about it nonstop) ... 4 vs 6 of TC... hmmm. It tormented me so much that I sought out opinions from four different oncologists. I know that sounds like overkill... but I needed peace with the decision, whatever it was (and, hey, my deductible was already met! LOL). And, this was my 2nd time around with BC so I felt like I needed 6 because I was some weird breeding ground for BC. Anyway, on the day that my 5th treatment was scheduled, I cancelled it and went to the 4th opinion. He agreed with the other 3, that 4 was sufficient in my case. They all said there just is no evidence that 6 is better than 4 at this time and they may not know the answer to that for along time. They all believed in my particular case, 4 was good, but 2 said 6 is reasonable and wouldn't hurt me if I wanted 6. So, I stopped at 4. My onco score was a 22 (intermediate, which is why I was offered chemo to begin with).... the fact that I was node negative I think did play a part in their opinions. I got the feeling many who are node positive (or have a higher onco score) are offered 6 because, even though there is no proof that 6 is better, it is a more aggressive approach. Whatever your decision, I think you have to have peace with it. For me, it took a lot of torment and 4 oncologists for me to have peace with it. I think you should listen to your body and go with your gutt and by all means....don't feel obligated by a clinical trial or altruism.... you have to do what is right for you. I hope that helped ?
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Hi Everyone...hope everyone is smiling today...if not sending smiles your way.
Some thoughts, Nioxin is great for thinning hair. Years ago I used Nioxin based products on my hair for the thinning on top...you have to stick with it but it does help make the hear grow and healthy. Its like a hair vitamin. I have friends who own beauty and barbershops and they also swear it works...did for me. I just quit using it and went back to other shampoos and conditioners but for sure liked my experiences with it and will use it again.
Another thought...my Mother and her hospice nurse swore by using vitamin E capsules. What you do is break a cap open, massage into the scalp. If possible leave on overnight or at least for a few hours. It makes the hair grow and keeps your scalp soft. I did try this when I had hair but found it to be a mess..with my hair being thin it was like I had put hair grease on it. But now with no hair I am going to try it again. I couldn't find on the net anything about it. However it worked for Mom and her nurse told me that they had no idea how or why it worked but many of her patients also did the same.
I decided to do something productive that requires little energy and thought (lacking in both departments). I started making braclets in different forms to signify my battle with BC and my four treatments...in doing this some other ideas came to mind. So I started crocheting hats, found out they look nice. Now the brain is in full speed ahead. Decided to start sewing hats, and a variety of scarves. Not only is this something I feel I can do well, it keeps my hands busy (in turn the brain is in rest mode and keeps me calmer), so my thinking is there are others I can share this with. My decision is to make things for myself...I am going to make extras and give to my resource room for other cancer patients. I figure this is my way of giving back and bringing a smile to others faces.
Keep smiling and hope its sunny in your area's.
Nadine
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