Stop Smoking Support Thread

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  • jan508
    jan508 Member Posts: 724
    edited March 2011

    Prayers to Bama and Jennifer for good test results!!!!

    Jan

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2011

    JAN!!!!

    So glad to hear from you and that things are going well!!... Will definitely check out your husband's art work!

    Hey.... Just let me know if you need any additional fat for grafting... I sure have gained a bunch that I wouldn't mind getting rid of.... Wink

    I really have to apologise to all for being so bad lately on the anniversaries!

    Congratulations on your 6 MONTHS!!!!  You are doing Great!!!!

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 2,037
    edited March 2011

    Jan, congratulations on the six months, that's fantastic, I'm on two months, who would have thunk it!! Glad to hear the "girls" are doing well, is it their 1 week or 2 week birthday?  Karen

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 2,037
    edited March 2011

    Seaside, will be sending prayers your way tommorow for good results.  I wonder how you remember all the things youdo remember, my mind would just be spinning.  You do a wonderful job of keeping track of all of us.  Karen

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited March 2011

    Jan -congrat's on your 6 month anniversary!

    (((Seaside))) for tomorrow's appointment!

  • barbaraa
    barbaraa Member Posts: 3,548
    edited March 2011

    (((JEN and BAMA))) Prayers going up!!

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 2,037
    edited March 2011

    Bama, I don't remember what day you get your results, but will be offering up prayers for you.  Karen.   p.s. Love the combined titles of your mom's shows!

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2011

    I'm back from my test and the results of the hysterosonography (or saline enhanced ultrasound),  while not bad at this point, were not what I had hoped for...

    Soooo... I will need to have that D&C after all.  It is scheduled for April 6. 

    I talked to my GYN  a little today and told him that, if this is what I have to look forward to every year, I would rather have a hysterectomy and be done.  He said he doesn't think we need to be talking about that just yet. 

    I have done a lot of looking around and it seems this thickening is common on Tamoxifen and  I have found very few cases where it turned out to be cancer so am trying to keep that in mind.  Still it's hard sometimes to not go "there" when, this time of year, 2 years ago, I was also told that my lump was probably nothing.

    Are we having fun, yet?

  • sweetaerobabe
    sweetaerobabe Member Posts: 230
    edited March 2011

    I will read up and comment later when I am feeling better.... (still chemo sick) but on top of that I am having a really hard time! For 3 days now I have craved a cigarette soooo bad. Maybe because I am sick, and cant eat, that I want it..... but I also got some news today that threw me over the edge. Normally, it would be a happy time, and Im so pi$$ed off that it cant be for me!

    My daughter informed me today that she is pregnant! She is a single mom with 2 boys, and JUST got out on her own, and hooked back up with her sons (looser) father and is knocked up again.

    I am just beside myself. Will I ever be able to welcome a grandchild into my life without worrying what he or she has to face in front of them because of their mothers choices? I am so upset right now. I think of my 2 grandsons, and the struggles they already have, and now more will be taken from them for this other baby. If god forbid something were to happen, I can not support her and 3 kids. I know this isnt my choice, but I am exactly like my mother, I worry. I wanted her to be secure and financially stable before any more kids. 

    I talked myself out of buying a pack of cigarettes today and sent my boyfriend off to school with all the money. BUT.... Since I was pretty persistant on wanting money to go buy some, (I only wanted 1) he said he would either buy a pack, give me 1 and throw the rest away (waste of money) or, try to bum 1 from someone at college, but I would have to wait till tonight to get it. I asked him to bum 1, (If he can, or will) that I have gone 34 days, a few hours wont kill me. So I am hoping for 5 minutes of me time tonight to have a slip, and a good cry. I am feeling extreemly overwhelmed and yes, depressed to a point, so to be honest, I can't believe I even made it this far.

    Sorry for the rant. I din't have anywhere else to go. Cry

  • jan508
    jan508 Member Posts: 724
    edited March 2011

    Jennifer:

    I'm so sorry you have to have that D&C but it looks like the doctor seems to think that's all you will need.  I imagine it's frustrating and scary (I'm new to this so haven't been down that road yet)!!!

    You are strong and will do fine!   You are in my prayers!

    Sweet:

    What a terrible time you are having now. You, too, are very strong and will get through it.  Hopefully, you won't need to smoke that cigarette tonight!  Wait 8 mintues, the craving will pass! I will be praying for you!!

    Jan

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 2,037
    edited March 2011

    Seaside, I'm so sorry it turned out you have to have the D+C but it sounds lke it is a one shot deal, having it fall at the same time the lump turned out to be cancer is what is associating the thickening with cancer.  No we are not having fun, this beast will have our thoughts, if we let him.  I read an article this morning about what dogs do when they are frustrated or overwehlmed, they keep trying, trying, trying, then lay down and go to sleep.  Almost like they innately know it is beyond their power and stop to calm themselves.  You probably didn't sleep well last night, so cuddle up in a blanket and take a short snooze.  hugs, Karen

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 2,037
    edited March 2011

    Sweet, I remember my daughter calling to tell me that she was pregnant, father was a loser.  It was about as welcome news as your news.  All I could think about was how she was throwing her life away, I managed to get through the phonecall without blowing up, and immediately called my best friend.  She let me rant and rave, then cry with frustration, till I was spent.  She then reminded me that I had brought my daughter up and that nurturing would eventually show itself.  And I would have a new life to  love and influence.  It took another child and some pretty wasted years, but she evetually gave him the boot.  If this hadn't happened, I would not have my extremely self reliant good mother daughter back nor the 12 and 13 year old grandchildren I adore.  So rant, rave and cry, this is the place to do it, and we will all listen to you and cyber hug you Sweet, you have been so strong, time to lean on others.   hugs, Karen

  • LadyinBama
    LadyinBama Member Posts: 993
    edited March 2011

    Ah Sweet and Seaside! Praying for you ladies.

    I'm pissed tonight because I called the doctor again today and still haven't received a call back about the pathology from my surgery last week. I think I'll follow Karen's advice and go to bed!

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 2,037
    edited March 2011

    Bama, where the heck did they send it for testing, Outer Mongolia.?  I'd be pissed to, sleep well and tommorow will be here and with it great test results.  Prayers coming your way.  Karen

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2011

    Oh ((((((Sweet)))))))!

    Rant away!!!

    Sorry to hear that you are sick and can't eat again.  Hopefully that isn't as bad as last time!  Being hungry can register in your brain as wanting to smoke so that could explain some of why you were having a rough time but, then to have your daughter drop that on you... wow! 

    It is hard to watch our children make mistakes when they are young but, when they make them as adults and we have no control over them is the ultimate in frustration!  Especially when there are grandchildren involved.  We want sooo badly for there lives to be easier than our own so  when they appear to be doing things that go against that wish it can be rough.

    Right now, hard as it may be, I feel your focus needs to be on YOU and getting better and stronger now that your chemo is done!  I think, maybe when you are feeling a little better, this may be all a little easier to deal with.

    I hope that you DIDN'T smoke last night but, fully understand if you slipped....

    I found this quote on a blog from someone on a different thread... Saved it because I liked it but thought it also applies to your situation!

    "Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. We can love and care for others but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends. We can assist them, pray for them, and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, not on our wishes."

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2011

    Bama,

    That waiting just plain sucks!  I have no idea why these things have to move so slowly.  It's really very cruel!

    Know that we are sitting in the "waiting room" with you holding your hand!

    Karen,

    I took your advice and took a long nap yesterday!  I don't know if it is all the stress or being depressed about this whole thing but I've just been so tired!  We've got a whole bunch of yuck here for weather today... Snow, sleet and rain...  That may have something to do with it too! 

  • LadyinBama
    LadyinBama Member Posts: 993
    edited March 2011

    You know what sucks almost as much as having cancer? Is having to be the bearer of bad news. I hate having to tell family and friends when I get a bad report.

    They've stage my ov ca at Stage 3, which sucks. I'm looking at more chemo. I really don't know a whole lot more than that. I talked briefly with my med onc this afternoon and he said I can go ahead with my reconstructive surgery next Wed., and just keep my April 4 appt with him and we'll discuss more then where we're at.

    So, needless to say, I'm bummed. But I'll get over it, I have to, just like ya'll do so we can soldier on. Love you ladies and appreciate all your support and prayers.

  • jan508
    jan508 Member Posts: 724
    edited March 2011

    Lady:

    I'm so sorry you got this bad news!  I pray all will be well with you!  You are strong and we are all here for you!

    God Bless

    Jan

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 2,037
    edited March 2011

    Bama, I'm so sorry the news wasn't good, but you are one class act.  No histrionics, just "we will shoulder on", you are my picture of courage.  That's why everyone is here for you, may your chemo treatment be as easy for you as possible.  Sending hugs and prayers your way.  Karen

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2011

    Awww SH!T Bama....

    This was not the news we were ALL hoping for... I know what you mean about being the bearer of bad news.  I have been through that having to break bad news to both my parents and my children.  Here we all are trying to deal with all of it ourselves AND trying to be the strong one for everyone else!

    NO need to "just get over it" here!!  YES YOU ARE BUMMED!!!!! SCREAM it from the rooftops!!! THIS SUCKS!!!!!  We'll be right there shouting it out with you!

    Take some time to feel whatever emotions you are going through right now (and I'm sure there are many)! Then gather strength, get your game-face on and hit this with everything you have!

    I wish I was in Alabama and could drive over and give you a hug in person but this cyber hug will have to do    (((((((((((BAMA))))))))))))))))

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited March 2011

    Oh crap Bama!!! Not the news we were hoping for!!! Yell

    Like Seaside said, we are all here for you!  You are in my prayers, I hope this chemo is kind to you with little/no SE's

    ((((((((BAMA))))))))

  • barbaraa
    barbaraa Member Posts: 3,548
    edited March 2011

    {{{{BAMA}}}} My heart hurts for you. You are in my prayers every day!

  • Onetoughwoman47
    Onetoughwoman47 Member Posts: 132
    edited March 2011
    Seaside memories - LOVED THAT quote!!! Thanks!Wink
  • sweetaerobabe
    sweetaerobabe Member Posts: 230
    edited March 2011

    Bama, Geez, I'm so sorry. WTH? why are we having to deal with all this? It makes me so mad. Chemo again? I don't know how your gonna do it.... I would probably give up, start smoking and be a bum on a tropical island someplace. But thats just me. I am totally fed up with this whole cancer thing. It has aged me and at the same time, already taken so many years from me just by doing the damn chemo. 

    I did slip the other night, but not since. I still have the patch on and I am trying my best. VJ thank you for the PM, I will reply after the meeting with the RO this morning.

    I just wanted to pop in and thank you all for your messages and support. It's hard. I do want to smoke. I thought about it, but I have 36 days in now. So Im fighting it so hard. Maybe the step down on the patch is why I am craving as well.... Wishing everyone a great day...

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2011

    Onetoughwoman47,

    Thanks!  It really speaks the truth and resonated with me with some stuff I had going on at the time!

    Glad you like it, too! 

    Edited to fix typo

  • lorenar
    lorenar Member Posts: 41
    edited March 2011
    Hello Ladies I have thougth seriously about quitting cigerettes I am 41 and didn't even start until I as 25. Crazy huh? I talked to my onclogist about quitting, and her advice to me was I didn't have t quit but just try to cut down which I have. I agree it s so hard just when our nerves ar at the worst. I feel really guilty when I smoke a cig, and have no hair. I know I should for my better health just havent been able to but am still gonna eventually. Sorry for your trouble with your daughters pregnancy. I didn't get to have kids my animals are mine but I FEEL FOR YOUR PAIN. My Mom had 10 of us and god help her. Best of luck ladies.
  • lorenar
    lorenar Member Posts: 41
    edited March 2011
    Hello Ladies I have thougth seriously about quitting cigerettes I am 41 and didn't even start until I as 25. Crazy huh? I talked to my onclogist about quitting, and her advice to me was I didn't have t quit but just try to cut down which I have. I agree it s so hard just when our nerves ar at the worst. I feel really guilty when I smoke a cig, and have no hair. I know I should for my better health just havent been able to but am still gonna eventually. Sorry for your trouble with your daughters pregnancy. I didn't get to have kids my animals are mine but I FEEL FOR YOUR PAIN. My Mom had 10 of us and god help her. Best of luck ladies.
  • barbaraa
    barbaraa Member Posts: 3,548
    edited March 2011

    Sweet, you are doing GREAT!!! You can keep doing it, too! Lorenar, you can do it, too! Can you try the patch? That really helps.

  • Onetoughwoman47
    Onetoughwoman47 Member Posts: 132
    edited March 2011

    Seaside - I typed that up and it's on the frig.....it will help me now and in my future and applied to me since my DX...thank you again...and here's one for ya....people will only be as happy as they make their minds up to be!  Something I mantra'd...it kept me focused and kept that positive energy flowing like a mountain spring....so many are so unhappy and dont' need to be and one's mind can indeed lead to dimise and depression....each person achieves their own happiness in thier own way...let us all be thankful and blessed for what it is we have and not what we don't!

    Hugs to you....Stephanie

  • SeasideMemories
    SeasideMemories Member Posts: 2,462
    edited March 2011

    Welcome lorenar,

    Cutting back was exactly what I did when I was first quitting.  Started by making myself go outside to smoke and seeing how long I could stretch the time in between cigarettes!  Quitting during treatment can be really tough.  A few of the ladies here did just that so, it can be done!  I, on the other hand, felt I couldn't handle one more thing on top of the stress of treatment.  It wasn't until 3 month after all was done that I finally quit. 

    Thinking about quitting is a great first step.  Cutting back is fantastic too!!

    Feel free to hang out here and post even if you're not quite to the point of quitting yet!  The girls here are really friendly and will help in any way they can!