Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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djfrro, you will get to the point, down the line, when you cannot envision yourself lighting up. Keep the faith. Karen
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I've been quit since 1990 and I still dream I smoke. Scary when you wake up and for a moment think it really happened. It's usually right before I start a new class and I'm in a panic that I have to quit before the class starts so I can teach them. But then sometimes I dream of how I can continue to smoke and hide it from the class and still teach them to quit--pretty weird.
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I haven't had a dream smoke in a while however very occasionally I'll see someone light up across a parking lot or in a car next to me at a light and I envision myself going all kung fu on them and stealing their cigarette!!! weird is right...
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Please help,
I feel so stupid that I have not been able to quit smoking. I have made an incredible committment in all other areas of my life to heal, but cigarettes are beating me. I am choosing 100% alternative medicine for my treatment which so far has kept my BC from growing. I eat a 95% vegan diet with 75% raw, juice, take more supplements that I care to count, daily coffee enemas, castor oil packs, exercise, have a great Alternative MD but I am sure that smoking is the reason I have not been able to yet shrink my tumors. This has been an on and off bettle for me for 25 years. I have quit twice for 6 years each and have started again. I have used Zyban, patches, Ondamed biofeedback. I now smoke American Spirit Organic Roll Your Own so I am not getting the standard chemicals added to cigarettes but this is by no means healthy. Any positive feedback is appreciated as I don't understand how I could sabotage my health in this one area.
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Hi Cindy,
I feel exactly as you do. Only difference is that you've quit in the past and I have never quit. I've been smoking for about 35 years. I am so incredibly deeply depressed about my inability to quit or even just make it through ONE day!! I tried Chantix - had to stop after 3 days. Tried the gum but it gave me a headache. Have thought about the e-cig (but haven't purchased it yet) and will be asking my MD next week for the nicotine inhaler. But I need to be entirely nicotine free in order to have my bilateral mastectomy with DIEP reconstruction. So far I have forfeited loss of libido (can't take estrogen if smoking), forfeited tamoxofen (can't smoke on that), and now fear that I will never gain the strength to quit. I get a huge knot in the pit of my stomach every time I think about quitting. Maybe we can help each other! Don't beat yourself up!!!! We can do this, I know we can...just don't know exactly how yet. But I'm with you!!
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Dear CindyD, of course we can help you, you are very lucky in that we have two new members who started posting on October 23rd, 2011, robo47 and Lisa65inNY. There are pages of tips, tricks and our best advice from a variety of members from Seaside, our leader, to Jo who took the plunge and vowed to herself she was going to do it and did it, while living with a smoker. We have all used a variety of aids, as well as cold turkey. o2bhealthy and Jan all have tips to offer you as well as advice, support and encouragement. This is the best support group you will ever find, just to catch you up go back to page 191, where robo joined us for the first time and all of us weighed in. She posted at 9:45 pm. I personaly quit after 30+ yrs. and had never been able to do it before, not even making it past the first day. I was convinced that only having my jaw wired shut would keep me from smoking, and even then thought I could find a way around it. It was hard, but so was having bc, but as we say, it was doable. Jo used a natural spray that sounds like it might appeal to you. She had very good results with it. We will all start to drop in to offer our stories and support to you. Welcome to the group CindyD. Karen
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Lisa, what a great idea - to quit together, you can spur each other on.
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Lisa,
I would love to have a buddy in this! I am also thinking about the E cigarette. I hate it when nonsmokers or sometimes even former smokers just say it's a lack of willpower. I have found that I can make the decision to quit and not smoke for a while. But it seems that I have to make that decision 100 times a day, every day and it's so draining. I know that beating myself up is counter productive. It's like there is this rebellious part of me that has pulled down the steel door around my smoking habit and says "You're not going to get to me with all of your healthy new ways!" Some part of me can't let go of the identity of being a smoker. It's like a toddler throwing a tantrum.So, if I am a good parent, I should be ignoring the tantrum right? Easier said than done. I appreciate your support.
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Hi Karen! I will be looking back at those pages to see the tips from others. I have a tendency to focus on the negative...but never the positive. For instance, I was talking to a coworker today who is the same age as me, started smoking same time as me and quit once for 2 weeks. She said she was miserble the entire time and it didn't get better by end of the 2nd week so she started smoking again. So naturally I focus on her negative experience because that's what I do.
Sometimes I wish they had smoker's anonymous meetings (similar to the way AA meetings are run) where I could drop in any time of the day, or have the phone numbers of a few sponsors to call every time I feel the need to light up. Or, even better - a detox center!! Lock me up for a few weeks. And I'm not even joking...
I don't even know where to begin but I need to know that it gets better at some point and I had thought 2 weeks was the average time. I get scared very easily when hear stuff like this. Or from people who say, "I quit 20 years ago and still have a craving!" It may be unrealistic, but I just need to hear that it WILL get better. (Keeping in mind that I have not quit yet...and feel like the biggest loser!)
Thanks for listening....!
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Lisa,
A couple of years ago I did the go away for two weeks thing. Took myself to a spa in Mexico and threw my cigarettes away upon arriving at the airport. I swam in the hot springs, hiked, got massages and facials and made it through without much of the suffering that I expected. Within two weeks of returning home, I was smoking again. That's when I realized how much I relied on cigarettes for my daily coping. The triggers for smoking were part of my life and when I removed myself from them it wasn't so hard.
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Karen,
Thank you so much for your support. I already feel less alone. I will look up the older posts for more info.
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Hi Cindy: That's really amazing that you could quit for the time you were away! Don't know if I could even do that!
Last night I had this crazy idea about going back to my childhood and reversing the events that led to my smoking in a bizarre attempt to "uncondition" myself. When I was 12, my best friend and I were bored so we would steal smokes from our parents, walk down to the end of the street and smoke. Just because there was nothing else to do. Then we started to inale. Then we were addicted (although we didn't realize it at that young age.)
So I was thinking: How cool would it be to find a "best friend" that is struggling to quit smoking, who wants to "walk to the end of the street" again with me but this time find something ELSE to do because we're "bored" with smoking!!
I would love to do this with someone! Sending you a PM!! :-)
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CindyD - Please don't feel stupid about not being able to quit. I never thought I would after smoking for 40+ years. My DH is still at it and it does not look like he is going to quit anytime soon. What is so ironic about all this is that he was the one after me for a long time to quit - I did it and he hasn't.
I smoked while taking estrogen for a number of years and even when I first started Tamoxifen. I used a couple of methods simultaneously and would be happen to share those with you. Right now, I am using an e-cig but the liquid I am using has no nicotine in it. The person I got mine from has used his for the past 8 months. He told me that you can get smoking liquid with nicotine and wean your way down to zero nicotine. The biggest difference in the e-cig and the real thing is that there are no harmful carcinogens in them - just the nicotine - again, like I said you can slowly wean yourself off of that. There are a couple of others here that use the e-cig and have had success. They are not cheap to start out with but they are super cheap compared to reg cigs after your initial layout. You will need to do research on the interne and buy the one that appeals to you the most. I was able to get mine locally.
There are a lot of good tips and advice on here. Go back and do some reading - it will be well worth your time.
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I've been a smoker for years. They say to enjoy every day left..sooo..yeah, I have a few regular cigarettes a day. I also throw in a few papaya leaf smokes and a few sage cigarettes too. This stage IV is stressful. I figure if I really think there's a chance for a cure..I'll quit. Thats my take on it all....
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Jo: I am still in awe that you (or anyone for that matter) were able to quit with a smoker in your hosue. I guess I am fortunate that mine despises smoking for I don't believe I could quit if others around me were still smoking. Then again, I have not quit! But a big congratulations to you!!!
Like Cindy, I also feel worthless....and actually despondent now. I feel like I'm "too old" to break this habit. It has defined me as a person and I don't know what to do when I get that knot in my stomach every time I think about it.
I haven't been out to the smoke shop yet but going to see if they carry the e-cig right here in town.
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Lisa - You are not worthless. I am 56 years old and thought I could never do it. I loved smoking but now that I have quit - I love not smelling like smoke and I actually do feel better. The only thing I can say is that it must have been my time to quit. I had tried many times for many years but always used a crisis or stressor to continue smoking. You are so much stronger than you think and you will know when it is your time. Do it for you, not for anyone else.
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Jo,
Thanks for your kind words and advice. I will look at the older posts and get more info on the e cigs. Congraulations on your 1 year cancer free. That's some awesome news!
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Dear Lisa, we used to have a member we called sweet, (when my godmother passed away, I lost both my parents when I was in my 30's, she was the last "parent" I had left), I was new to quitiing and of course what I wanted most in my grief was a cigarrette.. Sweet just said "stay strong" Karen, we are waiting for you right here. It became like a mantra to me for when the cravings hit, Sweets - '''''stay strong". So we like to give it to newcomers so it can help them too. Sooo - it is passed on to you and CindyD., "stay strong". Are you going forward with your plan to have the e cig by Friday, it can be step 1? Karen P.S. The cravings do go away, when I smell that first cig. being lit when I am having my first cup of coffee, it still smells good at times, that's when i used the e cig or now pop a piece of gum, usually cinnamon, as it is a strong taste. It is not true that you want them every minute of the day or whenever a trigger hits, that strong reaction does fade. .
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CindyD--What most smokers of American Spirit don't know is that those cigarettes have 3 times the free base nicotine as regular cigarettes. For some individuals they may be more addictive than regular cigarettes. Smokers self-regulate (unconsciously) the amount of nicotine in their blood, just enough to stay out of withdrawals but not enough to get an nicotine overdose. But when a smoker is constantly exposed to greater amounts of nicotine like in American spirits, their tolerance level can increase. Similar to when a person starts smoking--
Does everybody remember their very first cigarette? I got dizzy, lightheaded, nauseated, some people get headaches and even vomit--that is a nicotine overdose but with each cigarette your body built up a tolerance so you don't feel those effects anymore.
One of the suggestions I give clients is to switch to a cigarette they don't like (if you smoke it long enough, you will begin to like the taste, then switch again). Smoking is such an automatic behavior and is not a conscious act. Part of the change process is to be consciously aware of what you want to change. By smoking a cigarette you don't like, --it stops the automatic switch in the brain to acknowledge--"I don't like this"--which can become a mantra or touchstone of sorts--anything to stop our automatic behavior and make it a conscious choice.
I have a tip book if anyone wants a free copy, just send my your regular email address and I'll send you a PDF file. It's simple bullet point tips covering motivation, beliefs, fears, creating a plan, what to expect and how to avoid relapsing. No strings, just want to help. VJ
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Welcome to all the new ladies. I haven't been on in a while but I follow the posts..
Cindy,Lisa, robo. Before you do anything else take a deep breath...you have already taken a huge step in just coming to the group. there is no pressure on this chat, just support,hugs and women who know exactly what your feeling right now..We all felt defeated and worthless somehow just not strong enough to tackle cigs when we had all the stress of cancer..
I would say don't rush yourself to set quit dates..getting to a positive mindset really does help..first..
Ask tons of questions..I have tried Zyban years ago, Chantix which at the 3 week mark kept me dreaming freaky dreams and not making me comfortable..But I did forget to smoke..
The patch although irritates my skin ,,works the best for me..allowed me to forget that I smoked..
Jo has tried some herbal sprays - which I would love to know more about...My friends had suggested teas to calm the nerves and relax about the smoking. My point is you never know what will work for each of you.VJ's book gets you in the frame of mind to set a date.
Just Know that you've come to the right place..positive caring support..I'm sure seaside and the others will be along too. welcome to all the ladies, Jo congrads on doing great..Karen you too and all the rest..
Even though I do not say much know that I'm here and always sending hug,vibes and prayers.
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Vj,
Thanks for the input. I thought I was doing something good for myself with American Spirit by eliminating all the nasty chemicals like formaldyhyde from packaged cigarettes. I didn't know about the increased nicotine. I have been smoking less so that makes sense. I've got to make dinner for my family but will email you tomorrow for the book. Thanks again.
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Malle - The natural herbal spray I used is called "Smoke Control" I talked to my MO about using it and after he did some research on it himself, he told me it would be safe to use and better than doing the nicotine replacement products. You can use the spray as many times a day as you need since it is all natural. I got it off a website called www.quitsmoking.com. It is not expensive and I went through two bottles of it. I had one at home and one at work. The other thing I did was keep a lot of Crystal Light hard candies with me. They also worked very well for me.
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Having a horrible day... Maybe putting the cart before the horse, but feeling extremely depressed that I will be one of those people that will never be able to quit. Somehow I need to get out of that mindset. But I can't help feeling that it will never happen. I have the motivation (need for surgery) so what is wrong with me?
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I quit smoking last january 3rd for 12 weeks, my mother got sick, and even if I knew smoking would not help me, I gave up 12 weeks and I was back to day 1 and smoke one cigarette to see... I didn't like it but I told myself that I love smoking and I smoke..... brkkkkkkkkkkk
Now maybe I have breast cancer, and I will have to live the same bad dream once again ! It is possible to quit, but it is really hard !
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Nicole, I am sorry you are smoking again and might have b/c. I know it s**cks!!!! When I hear how hard it is to quit, I become discouraged before I even stop. I am scared of quitting. Fear of the unknown. I want to believe that it will get better with time. I am really out of sorts about this... Just have to wonder why it's easier for some people and not others.
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Lisa,
I have come to believe for myself that there is a deep emotional connection to smoking thus all of the fear and anxiety surrounding quitting. I hope to address this the upcoming therapy that I will be doing for my bc. The therapy was recommened by my MD and the person trained to do it also happen to be an Osteopath. The theory is that bc and all illness is related to some sort of yet unreleased or unresolved emotional trauma (or perceived trama). I have a strong inner feeling that my smoking addiction is in the mix somewhere--definitely self sabotaging behavior. I here with you girlfriend--let's take it one step at a time.
Cindy
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Hi all... Just got home today from visiting my sister... Wow, there has been a lot of activity here! I haven't had time yet to get caught up but will in the next day or two!
Lisa,
I think it really will come down to just getting a plan together and giving it a try... If it doesn't work out the first time, you try a different way. The beauty is... you have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain!
I read your post about how you started smoking and that was almost to a T my story.... My best friend and I would steal a cigarette or two from our Dad's pack (lord knows, back in the day everyone smoked) and, instead of going to the end of the street, we headed to the woods. Thought we were soooo cool even while turning green and feeling like we were going to barf! Next thing I knew, not smoking wasn't an option...
I thought the rest of your post about finding a way to recondition yourself and finding a best friend to walk to the end of the street with but, for a totally different reason was hands down, the most unique post and one of the best ideas I have come across here or for that matter, anywhere!!!
You definitely have creative side.... Find a way to use that to your advantage!0 -
Lisa & Cindy - I smoked for 40+ years and have now been smoke free since July 15th. For me, dealing with bc was so much harder than quitting smoking and I live with a smoker. My two co workers are also smokers so I am surrounded by it. I used a gradual step down program that allows you to smoke and cut down over an 8 week period. Then I found a natural stop smoking spray that worked wonders for me - than and having lots of Crystal Light candies, Now I use an e-cig with no nicotine. It is either use the e-cig or gourge myself with food or go back to smoking. I have tried many times in the past to quit and it just seemed like this was my time. I really wanted to quit last year but when I was diagnosed, I did not thinkI could do that and deal with cancer at the same time. You are both much stronger than you think and once you set your mind to it and get a plan it will be much easier - just like getting your plan together to deal with cancer. If you don't succeed the first time, don't get discouraged. Just look at it as a minor setback and get back on track. The ladies here were a tremendous help to me and we will all be here for you. Come back often
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I used the patchs and it is good, but I guess that since I'm not a big smoker I should have start with the second step cause, I began to feel good only when I began the second step at week 7. It is .possible to quit because I was smoke free for 12 weeks and still here to talk about it lol
take car all
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Jo, thank you.
To all the newbies,Cindy,
Lisa do not be so hard on yourself. start out small maybe just delay a cig for a minute. that too is success. Little by little make small changes which begin to affect how much you smoke..Some of us were way to overwhelmed to take one more thing from us. I desperately wanted something I could still control,because cancer had crept into my world and blew it to pieces..All I could think about was what I was losing..For me it was very difficult ..Several starts and stops. but eveytime I didn't smoke a cig, I started to realize that in a way I really was getting back control over me. but I didn't,t come to that mindset in my first year of BC.it took. Time and setting an action plan..Only when you are ready and only you get to set that date.
We are all here cheering you on.
so come to this site,vent,cry yell and scream BC does suck and only the sisters here know what your really going through.In return you will encounter some of the most remarkable women who will help you meet the challenges of BC and smoking with understanding, compassion, advice,education and support.
everyday is an opportunity to change your life..If only for a minute ,hour'or day. It's all good.
Mallme0
