Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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Hi everyone. hope your all holding up ok in the heat waves all over the place!
I really need to RANT on myself. I think I'm one very sick individual and maybe I need counselling or something. I have so many things wrong with me DUE to the smoking, and now BC (smoking doesn't help there) then my wound is just not doing well AT all. it's still green after 8 days.
so WHY WHY WHY am I still smoking??? I hate myself for it, but damn, i keep saying I"m going to just go.. that's it! i'm done.. but the lighter keeps flicking! I was wearing patches, gave up, then I smoke way more. put one on, but still smoke. now you cannot say theres not something wrong with me. yes i'm more stressed than I've been in my life. yes I have a million excuses, but the reason why to stop are much more important. the smoking isn't doing the healing any good. I'm getting closer to getting so much more angry at myself to just stop. I really want to be respectfull of myself and all the promises I've made to my family & friends. I'm in a horrible place with all of it.
I'll again, put the 12 steps into place to again try this stop business. man.. a little hate-on I have.
whew.. tears.. thanks for allowing me to rant
Cher
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Cher, your ranting is o.k. but you do have to take some steps to help yourself. First, believing in yourself is so important. Second, you do have to do something to stop the smoking. Hence, the e-cig or what alternaties are available to you that the ladies suggest on this thread. You said it yourself .... you need to stop to allow the body to heal. You are in a very difficult place with your infection and what else that ails you. You need to heal yourself mentally and let your body heal. I think your smoking is coming from all the stress you are experiencing, and maybe, and I just say maybe, that your infections are clearing because of it all. Come on, we are all here for you but you have to take the first step and we can hold your hand. You need to heal and you have to pull yourself up! Let's go!
MinusTwo, CONGRATS on your 5 years anniversary day. I know I will be joining you on the 5 year date in a few years. You certainly are an inspiration.
Jo, thanks for the chuckle on your "cute" GP. Unfortunately, mine is a female but I really like her. In fact, I have had fabulous people through this journey. But I have to agree, once a year to see someone will be fabulous. Can you see us there - I can!
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Cher, I deleted my original post because I may have sounded harsh. So, I will try again and hope it doesn't sound like I don't care, because I do. Cher, you have to make a step in the right direction. Quit beating yourself up. You have undergone an awful lot of crap from the surgeries/infections, and I think you are at a loss. Do what the other ladies on this thread have done, i.e., e-cig, etc. You need to do this to let your body/mind heal. Smoking depletes your body of oxygen which I understand is required in the healing process. You have said this yourself .... so let's get our mindset for the healing process. I sure do hope you do this as you have been under a tremendous amount of strain. I can see why you give up .... I would probably do the same.
Jo, thanks for the chuckle on your good looking GP. I wouldn't mind going either.
MinusTwo, CONGRATS on your 5 year anniversary. I know I will be there one day but it sure does seem like a long time. But, for me, it concides with my 5 year cancer free status so I will be one happy puppy!
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Hey Cher - If ranting helps, I'm glad and all of us certainly understand how hatd quitting can be. But please please please do get some 12 step help if that has worked for you in the past.
The nicotine, as you may know, is a vaso-constrictor, meaning it makes your veins slam closed when you smoke. Wound healing absolutely requires proper circulation, which you are not getting. (I had a surgical wound that would not close several years ago, and when I "quit" it closed up pretty quickly. I say "quit" because like the bonehead I am, I picked the darned things up,again once I was healthy.)
Come and see us and let us know how you are!
Lisamarie - you ROCK, girl! Look at you hanging tough and going to see,the Yankees and all! Quitting feels really good sometimes, when you get to go out and enjoy the results. I'm a Giants fan here by the bay, and it's not looking good. . .that's OK though, got to see Matt Cain throw a perfect game.
I wish everyone a peaceful, healing Sunday.0 -
Judi - It is MO that is so gorgeous - not my GP. It's funny because when I said something to the ladies that work in his office they told me to get line behind them - LOL!
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Sorry, Jo! I too wish I had a cute MO but I do now have a male - he is cute in his own way. But I do love him as he was so kind and thorough.
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Judi - Besides being so darn cute, my MO has the right personality to be in his speciality. He does a very thorough job and takes the time to everything is okay before he lets you leave. DH and I both like him very much.
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Jo, I feel like a "cougar". My MO is younger then me but I never stop looking to see how good looking they are. I'm glad to be young!
Glad to hear you and dh both like your MO very much. I haven't spent much time with mine before and at this visit. But if I stay with this one, then I will get to know him. Yet, the less I'm there, is a good thing!
Hope everyone enjoyed their July 4th holiday. I could have a holiday every month!
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Cher - don't give up.I knew what day I was quitting. At bedtime I still had cigs left. I stayed up until 2:30 am to smoke them all. I literally cried as it got smaller. I knew I meant it. My confidence was low from past failures. Maybe that is the same for you? The first week I used the patch and I think it helped. The first days it's all I thought about, which lessens with time if you can just hold on long enough until you realize that. What a relief when it gets easier. I still have moments. I use the binky. I don't want to go back. Set a quit date and try again.
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Cher,
Let me begin with sending you a huge hug!!! I can feel the pain and frustration in your post! How can something so little have such a hold over us? Yet it does....
I would venture to say that there is not ONE of us here who have not stood exactly where you are now... Feeling like crap for smoking and lighting up anyway! Till one day, we had enough (different reasons for each... different timelines... different methods, etc) and somehow, eventually, something clicked and it was time! You will get there so don't give up!
That being said... You are going through an incredibly rough time right now so it is perfectly understandable that this may not be the best time for you to quit! Although I am not a doctor, I want to add that your smoking most definitely did NOT cause your infection and most likely is NOT impeding your healing from that infection!! I think most times when people talk about smoking impeding healing they are referring to incisions and blood supply, not infections! Please do NOT blame yourself for that! The hospital... Well that is another story!
I know that when I first started thinking aboout quitting I took a good hard look and decided that, during treatment, I just couldn't do it! It was all I had to get through what I needed to without "stirring the pot"! It wasn't until I was 3 months past radiation that I quit. But leading up to that I started working on a plan... Moving outdoors to smoke, waiting a bit longer before I would light up, etc.....
So, after all that what in the heck am I trying to say? Well... Quitting outright sounds like it is just too much right now... So don't quit... Didn't see that coming, did ya?
Instead of focusing on what you CAN'T do let's turn it around and focus on what you CAN do! You CAN start just entertaining the thought.... You CAN start looking at your pattern of smoking just to get a better idea of what situations are most likely to trigger you to smoke... You CAN start reading up on different aids to help you when the time is right.... Lots of small things that will be SO helpful when you do get to the time that is right for you!
The number one thing I would recommend for you is to send a PM to a lady on this site who's screen name is VJSL8... She is a smoking cessation specialist as her job and has written a really Super quit smoking tip book that she has offered to send anyone on this thread who asks... Absolutely no strings attached! Just PM her your email address and she will send it. She also sells it on Amazon if you would rather buy it!
Take your time and read it while you heal and go through treatment. Plot your strategy and I just KNOW we will be celebrating your quitting milestones soon!
Post here even if you decide now is not the time! Support is important in the planning stages as it is is later!!!!
Hugs, Seaside0 -
MinusTwo,
I do believe it is 5 YEARS smoke-free for you TODAY!!!!!!!! Congratulations on a job Well Done!!!!!!!!!
Hope to join you in that milestone one day!0 -
Cher, I agree with Beckers. I know you are having a rough time with it but I can guarantee it that you will feel better. I just read your post on the Canadian thread and I hope you find out what's going on with you. Maybe then you can think about quitting. I know with everything going on it's hard but we are here rooting for you!
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Cher, your post is so filled with pain, I agree with Seaside that now might not be the best time to quit. Get to a calmer place and get all your quit smoking tricks and tips ready. You can also read back on this thread to see how others went about it and their little bag of tricks. Around the time that a few smokers try to quit is a good time to read, since the veterans will offer their stories, triggers and ways around them. If you can read back to where Jo quit, as she used a few herbal sprays to start, then turned to the e cig, which we call the adult binkie. Seaside - can you help me out with Jo's quit day? Post often to let us know how you are and to hear all the slogans, phrases and mantras we use when times get tough. You're getting your plan in place and that is the first step. And it is a positive step, so give yourself points for that. Minus Two, congratulations, 5 years, yes you have achieved a monumental milestone!!!!!!!!!!!! Karen
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Karen - My quit date is July 15th. Yes, I am coming up on one year. I still use my herbal sprays from time to time. It is really hard for me being around smokers and living with one.
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Ohhhh Karen! Thanks for pointing it out!!! Jo's 1 YEAR is this Sunday (7/15)!!!
Jo, I took a peek back and you were just quitting on page 174! If you want a blast from the past, take a look! My, oh, my what difference a year makes...lol!0 -
Jo,
We cross posted!!! Hard to believe that a year has passed since we 'met' but so glad we did!0 -
Jo, oh my god a YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As soon as you posted I knew you would succeed and you have been a mentor to so many newbies too. Cannot believe I have known you for a full year and every part of it has been a pleasure. So glad I know you Jo. hugs, Karen Galsal, our quiet trooper, haven't heard from you in awhile, hope you are just enjoying life this hor, hot summer.
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Ok ladies my patch is on. PS called today, surgery for my exchange is this Thursday. It's now or never. I know I am strong, I've done it and I'm gonna do this. "Just for today I will not smoke " have a good night
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LisaMarie,
Welcome back!!! Yes, you are strong and, together, we are stronger yet!!!
Just for today.....0 -
lisamarie - Will be in your pocket on Thursday.
Karen - I never thought I would say this but the past year has flown by. Doesn't seem that long. I am grateful for this thread and each and everyone here. It has been such a pleasure meeting you.
seaside - I am really glad we met. This past year has been great.
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YAY lisamarie, was just wondering about you and here you pop up. You can do it, we are all cheering you on and just for today, I will not smoke with you. Stay strong girl!! Karen
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Congrats Lisamarie!!!!! Sending good thoughts your way.
I need some reinforcements...I just got the email letting me know I lose my health insurance at the end of the month, as my 12 weeks of FMLA is up. Do they have to do this or is the company choosing to do this? I haven't worked since April as I had bilat lumpectomies and now I am waiting for BMX/DIEP surgery date.
I just want my life back.0 -
Beckers,
Can't help with an answer because I was not working when I was diagnosed.... Not sure if you know this but there is forum under the Day To Day Matters section of BCO titled Insurance and Other Financial Issues. I bet those ladies over there may have the answer, if no one here can help!0 -
Hi ladies , keeping strong just for today . I am full of anxiety about tomorrow . surgery is scheduled at 7 am . I have to drive to hospital alone and my daughter will meet me at somepoint , but by then i may have already be in surgery . I am scared because I am not sure if they can use my arm for blood work and IV , the nurse spoke about using my foot . I said she better have people to hold me down then .. so my anxiety is throught the roof !!!! does anyone know post BMX if u can have blood drawn and iv in arm ??? anyway I am staying strong .. thanks for being in my pocket JO i need that , I will look for u then ... love u all hugs
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lisamarie - You won't be driving to the hospital alone - we will all be with you. I can't answer your question about blood draws and IVs after a BMX. I see you have sentinel nodes removed on both sides. Don't know why but I would have said if you only had one side done to make them use the good side. Your only alternative may be to use your legs and feet. Hopefully someone else will come along with better advice. Again, will be in your pocket first thing in the morning.
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lisamarie, I'll be with Jo, if we get too rowdy just tap your pocket and we;ll tame it down. Don't have an answer for the blood draw either since I only had one sentinel node - left removed, with left lumpectomy. I have had to use backs of my hand and it is a smaller needle and you can scarcely feel it. See you in the AM, don't forget to toss us in your pretty blue bonnet so we can oversee the surgery. Please be sure to let us know when you are able, how the procedure went. hugs, Karen
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Lisamarie, good luck tomorrow!!! Do you have bilateral cancers too? I will be haven SN biopsy on other side when I do BMX in Aug. Guess we have to wear stretchy pants for future blood pressure checks, but IV in foot? Ouch! Heavy sigh. Hope the no smoking is going well. Soon you will be medicated and not thinking about it.
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Ladies, I have read your posts and I just want to crying. I don't think I ever met a more caring, sweet, thoughtful or concerned group of women in my life. Lisamarie, you are one lucky lady to have these women in your bonnet tomorrow. Good luck and stay strong!
Cher, you too are lucky to have these women. All are very, very caring!
Jo, congrats on your upcoming quitivesrary. Who knew we would be where we are today!
I am going to check back on the posts do see how you were then!
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Beckers, I had LCIS and DCIS in my right side only but opted for BMX and BS said i made a good choice because my right side was full of it . i had both sides SNB . I am clear now no chemo no radiation , the smoking is going okay , I just had to screw my head back on straight. I had a lot of stress. ( really no excuse for picking them back up) but im hoping im back on track .
Thanks so much Jo and Karen , I will be dragging u girls with me everywhere they take me tomorrow.. I know u will keep me safe . Hugs
I do feel very blessed to have the support and love of this group . well ladies guess I will be seeing u on the squishy other side , cant wait to feel relief from these hard horrible tissue expanders . I defintaly wont miss them one bit ..
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WOW. Major congratulations Jo, and Seaside, and all of our superwomen on their respective anniversaries. I fully intend to be breathing and above ground with you one year and five years from now in part because of all your kindness, support and positive thinking.
Beckers and Cher, sorry to hear of your troubles, and I'll be thinking of you.
Lisamarie, I don't know if there is room in your pocket for me too, but if there isn't, I'll be that sense you have of someone walking just behind you, ready to catch you if you fall. I know you're strong, and will pull through OK even if they do need to use yor feetsies for blood draws. Who knows, maybe that will hurt less.
Hope and healing and hugs to you all.0
