Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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Welcome hopeful34!!
I only have a couple minutes since I had a houseful of teenagers spend the night last night and I have to get breakfast going but wanted to pop in to say hi!
You are probably in the most stressful stage of your treatment right now so please don't be too hard on yourself for not being able to stop smoking right away! I did not have chemo but, I know Jancie (and others) have said that may not be a good time to quit. I see that your situation may be a bit different because of the reconstruction.
You are right in saying fear won't make you want to quit (at least it didn't work for me). The anti-smoking commercials they run here in NY only made me tense and then I wanted to smoke even more! Pretty sure that wasn't what they were going for! LOL
I have to go but I will think a bit about what worked and what didn't for me and post back later. You mentioned that you don't know how to quit. None of us did in the beginning but, you have taken a big first step by posting here!!! The THOUGHT of quitting was by far more scary than the reality of quitting for me.
Jennifer
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Hi everyone ...well the weather was just wonderful today at the jersey shore. beaches were packed.
Hopeful- sorry you had to join our group. Here is some of the things that have worked for some.
Chantix, - set a quit date and then continue to smoke the 1st 8 days . If anything it will help you forget to smoke. Some had side effects and sleeping problems. While I was at your stage the Dr said to take xanax if needed. Start walking if only to clear your mind.
Don't be hard on yourself --- you are at the most stressful point in this journey. It's overwhelming, confusing. Chemo until you start, is a scarry thought. Almost as bad as the thought of not smoking. I constantly recited the Serenity Prayer in my head all the time.
And I found out recently that my Dr knew from the Blood work that I was smoking and she nev er said a word during my treatments. She only told me she knew 2 months ago.when I finished my year of herceptin.
Gotta go . I wish all of you a wonderful week...without cigs and stress.
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hopeful:
I have been a non smoker since 8/5/08. I quit the day I started taken tamoxifen and radiation. I had smoked for 30 years, a pack a day. I too enjoyed smoking. But after I had quit, I thought did I enjoy it because I knew I couldn't quit. I quit cold turkey. My husband still smokes (outside only) I never really quit before either. This was technically my first quit. I had tried the patch, gum, chantix. Nothing worked for me. I think this time is was because I knew quitting was the best thing for me to do. I had cancer and even though you don't get breast cancer from smoking I still thought it best that I quit. My only advice to you is, #1 stop buying them, #2 when you get the urge for one do something else and #3 Just remember that every minute that goes by is another minute that you are a non-smoker. And you don't want to mess up because then you will have to start all over again. Good luck
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Thanks to everyone for your help. I haven't really tried this week to quit, but I definately want to quit before I start chemo. I am not real sure when I start my chemo yet though. It just seems like such a waste to have all this surgery, chemo, tamoxifen, etc. if my smoking is going to potentially keep it from working the way it is supposed to. I guess I always thought if I got cancer I would just lay the cigarettes down and never smoke again. Clearly, that is not the case. I will quit. I just need to do it. My husband smokes a little too and he does not seem to want to quit anytime soon, so that doesn't exactly help, but I need to think about my own health. Anyway, thanks again for all of your suggestions. Allison
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Allison:
That is right about your husband. Mine still smokes also. You need to think about YOU. Hopefully yours doesn't smoke in the house. I don't know how long you've been a smoker, but it is hard to quit. After you get through the first 72 hrs (that is how long it takes for the nicotine to get out of your system)after that it is just the habit of wanting to smoke. Just keep thinking you need to do this and you aren't going to start over once you quit. Getting through the first 4 or 5 days is the hardest.
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Hopeful34,
I had to go back and look through some of the posts to remember what worked for me. I guess that's good news because it means smoking (and quitting) is fading into a distant memory!
First thing I did was to force myself to go outside every time I needed to smoke. It happened to be winter here in NY and VERY cold so that helped ALOT. That cut back the number drastically (I was smoking probably 1 1/2 - 2 packs per day) to about 3/4 pack. In addition to it being cold, it also got rid of a lot of those 'mindless' cigarettes that I smoked without even realizing I was smoking. Another reason it helped was that it really drove home how much time I was wasting while smoking when I couldn't do anything else at the same time because I was standing outside smoking.
After I adjusted to that for a bit, then when I would have the urge to smoke I would make myself wait as long as I could before having one by doing something else and seeing if the urge went away. If it did great. If it didn't I could go out and smoke.
I also bought and read a book called Stop Smoking the Easy Way by Allen Carr. I wouldn't say that it made it easy to quit BUT it explained the whole addiction (another word that used to make me mad when my doctor would say it!) thing in a way I was ready to hear and got me really excited to try. I can tell you more about that if you're interested.
Finally was down under 1/2 a pack and just went for it. I did cold turkey. Many others swear by Chantix. I had a prescription for it that I would have used if I couldn't do it cold turkey.
I do remember being not just scared, but terrified, by the thought of quitting smoking! I had no idea how I would get through a day much less a week so I guess it's normal. I do remember thinking how odd it was that I was more frightened of quitting than I was of cancer and then I thought 'what's the worst than can happen? I can't do it this first time and I start smoking again. If that happens, I try a different approach until I find one that works. I have NOTHING to lose by trying and EVERYTHING to gain'.
Everyone is different! The important thing is to find a method that you think will work best for you and if that doesn't work try another until you find something that does. When you are ready, we will be here to support you!
Hope to hear from you soon.
Jennifer
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I had just written a post and forgot to submit and lost it. What helped me to quit was to read these posts on a daily basis because Seaside always had such good advice and everyone is so non-judjemental. Up until last a few weeks ago I had 8 weeks. Unfortunately I was denied the DIEP reconstruction and had a cigarette which has led to 3 today and buying a pack. I had quit could turkey with the hope of having my surgery in July. Last week I wrote an appeal letter as I am not giving up on the surgery or quitting. It is just a small set back. Another thing is not to beat yourself up if you do not succeed the first time as it took a few tries for me to stop cold turkey. And know that no one way is better than the other and it is whatever works just keep trying as I will. Evelyn
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Dutchy,
Haven't heard from you in awhile am glad to hear from you. Thank you for your kind words! I think we all helped each other in the early days of our quit. I know you and Jancie helped me tremendously! It was nice to have someone going through the same thing as I was. Made me not feel so alone.
Have you heard anything back yet on your appeal? I have added you to my prayer list that you will get GREAT news and that it will come soon! I am so sad that, in addition to the stupid insurance company trying to rob you of the reconstruction that you want and soooooo deserve, they have also stressed you out and undone 8 weeks of your hard fight to quit smoking and you were doing so well!! I know you will try again when things calm down a bit and this time you will have a better idea of what to expect!
In the meantime, know that I am thinking of you and hoping for good things to come. Keep posting, I look forward to hearing from you.
Jennifer
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Hi Ladies, I hope everyone is doing well. I am still smoking a few cigarettes a day and waiting for the results on my appeal. I expect to hear any day and then it is cold turkey again. I do not know why I am smoking but I do and I guess that is nature of the beast. I have been able to not even think about a cigarette all day and then when I get home I will bum a cigarette or two off of my son. It is just a nasty habit. I guess the good thing is I have not bought a pack for myself since the original quit day which I do not remember but can check with the quitmeter. I guess I will have to restart the meter once I get the results of my appeal to get the DIEP. It still baffles me how so many women can get the surgery and my insurance, which is Blue Cross of California, keeps trying to get me to agree to the TRAM. I will not and would rather go without boobs, but I will win. I think I am trying to cheer myself on to a win. Oh well enough from me. I hope you all have a great night.
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Hi Dutchy,
So glad to hear from you!!!! You have hit a bump in the road. Just try not to have it become a mountain!! There are certain times of the day (mostly the evenings) that I still get the urge to smoke but I take o2bhealthy's advice and give myself a stern talking to and it passes.
My In-laws were visiting this weekend and they both smoke so I was a little worried about that. I made it through both of them smoking in the house and didn't smoke! I was very proud of myself!
Blue Cross is the insurance that I have and they are usually pretty good about coverage so I am very surprised that they are giving you a hard time! I am totally with you on the fact that you are ENTITLED to the surgery that best fits your needs. I join you in CHEERING YOU ON TO VICTORY!!!!!!!
I look forward to the day that you get your GOOD NEWS from your insurance company and you re-start your quit meter! I will be here to support you my "cold turkey friend"!
Hope tomorrow brings you good news! Still praying for you!
Jennifer
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Hey Jennifer it is good to hear from you too. I wish Jancie would make it back too as I miss her input and wisdom. I just know that when she does make it back I plan on being here to cheer her on. Wow you survived a weekend with smokers in the house!!!!! That is really great of you. One for letting them smoke in the hours and two you did not smoke. Great job. So how much time do you have now and how much money have you saved?
Ya know many people are surprised that Blue Cross is giving me such a hard time but the other night I was researching how to go about requesting an Independent Medical Review. It had a page with the statistics of how many people had to go for one and Blue Cross was one of the highest insurance companies per year. It showed how many were initially denied and then how many settled out prior to a review and many won after they went for the review. I hope it does not have to go that far but if it does I am ready for that too. Well I am tired as I have been cleaning and packing all day as well as moving some stuff to the new home. Have a great weekend. Evelyn
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Hopeful34,
I'm not an official member of the "stop smoking support thread", but I stop by occassionally. And I, too, am a bc warrior/ex-smoker (almost).
I'm chiming in to tell you that Chantix helped me the most. Then, of course, when I fall off occassionally, as I do.... (especially in a casino!), I forgive myself and continue quitting. Usually it will be only one or two in a day, and then I'm a "non-smoker" again the next morning. I can go weeks like that. If I've just been to a casino, though, I smoke more, and consequently, allow myself a few days of Chantix to get back on track.
The important thing is to keep forgiving yourself. Don't beat yourself up because you slip, or you'll wind up smoking again. Instead, get right back on the horse and keep quitting!
Good luck to you. (Btw, I snuck a few cigarettes here and there during chemo. Surgery is when you really need to quit; for the healing!).
Take care!
Sue
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2z54, I do not believe there is a membership requirement just a desire to stop smoking. Unfortunately I have not been doing very well with it but plan to stop again as soon as I win my appeal for DIEP reconstruction. I have to be smoke free for 4-6 weeks and I was 8 weeks free prior to getting the denial. I am not smoking as much as I was and refuse to start smoking in the car or home again so that is better than before. I am not smoking as much either but I am smoking. I use some of the techniques that I learned on this site and it has been helpful. Like if I am having a craving I wait it out and if it does not go away after a certain amount of time then I go ahead and have one. I hear you about the casino. I know when I use to go I had to have a least a pack with me and lots of diet coke was ordered. I no longer go to the casino as my winning streak quit and it is no fun to lose all of the time. Especially if you are blowing over a hundred dollars. I quess the casino is a trigger place just like the bars use to be before they went smoke free. Anyways good luck and hope you drop in again to visit us.
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Hey Dutchy,
Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you today! Have you heard anything from your insurance company? Still praying for GREAT NEWS for you!
I'm coming up on my 5 month anniversary of stopping smoking on June 18th. I still have a few (very few) rough patches but for the most part things are going well.
My garden began sprouting a couple weeks ago and it looks like everything I planted is going to at least come up. We'll see if they actually produce anything but I was soooooo excited to see that at least all my plants didn't die!
Hope all is well with you.
Jennifer
2z54,
I wished that I could have done like you and smoked just a couple and then go right back to quitting. My mother-in-law is the same way as you. I had smoked (alot) for over 30 years when I quit and I just know if I have even one I will be right back to where I started. I just don't trust myself to be able to stop once I start so I figure it's best, for me, to not start.
Just goes to show what works for one person may not work for another but it's important that we EACH find out what works for us! Glad to hear from you! Hope to hear more from you soon.
PS Dutchy.... Great minds must think alike.... I think we were posting at the same time... lol...
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Jennifer, Still no news but I go to the mailbox everyday hoping to hear something. They have 30 days to respond and then I am not sure what is suppose to happen. There deadline is the 22nd. Maybe I win just by them not responding in time. Wouldn't that be great. I am going to have to talk with our legal department to find out what happens when we don't make our deadlines because it should be the same for the insurance companies. I think I am going to go research it right not
Glad to hear your garden is doing well. Talk with ya soon.
Evelyn
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Jennifer it looks like I am going to have to take Anthem of Blue Cross, California to an Independent Medical Review (IMR) as they denied me the DIEP reconstruction. I am so frustrated and have been smoking too much again but I will quit again just not sure when now. I guess I am doing it for the wrong reason, a surgery, and not for my health. Really frustrated but need to get my wits together so I can write my letter for an IMR. Hope you are doing well. How much time do you have now?
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Bumping
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OH CRAP Dutchy!!!
I am sorry to see this post this morning! I wan't on too much over the weekend because we were moving my daughter back to school (she has a summer job up there for 6 weeks then we move her back here again for 2 weeks then back to school for fall semester but, that's a wholllllle 'nother story)
I can't blame you for being frustrated! To me these are the most frustrating situtations where you KNOW you are right and someone refuses to see that! Most of the time you can agree to disagree but NOT in this case! The DIEP is, from what I was told, a far better procedure than the TRAM simply because they do not take your muscles.
I haven't looked but, have you posted over on the reconstruction board? Maybe some of the ladies who have been down that road have a better idea on how to handle the insurance company. What is their complaint? Is it simply because no doctor in your network does it or are they actual questioning your need for reconstruction? I believe you are entitled to reconstruction BY LAW no matter how long it has been. I was told, if your insurance company pays for mastectomy, they MUST also cover reconstruction.
You are right, gather your wits together and come out fighting (even though I am sure you are sick of it!)...
There is no such thing in my mind of quitting for the wrong reason as long as you quit! Do not beat yourself up for slipping during this rough time! You were doing so well and I think you just didn't have enough "quitting time" under your belt kinda like I said early in my quit, you still had your "training wheels on" when this whole nonsense with the insurance company hit. You fell off your "bike" BUT you still know how to ride when you're ready to get back on! Same thing with quitting smoking!! The things you learned the last time around will help you when you are ready to quit again.
I have just passed my 5 month mark and I do still have times where I think I could sure go for one but they are pretty rare and more like a passing thought than a real craving. It's weird because, even after this much time, sometimes even seeing my old lighter in the drawer will give me this weird butterflies in the stomach feeling. It's like my subconsience mind is excited because it "thinks" a cigarette is coming! The mind sometimes is a strange thing! I did smoke for an awful long time and I guess it just takes time for the brain to re-train itself or maybe it's just MY brain is a little slow.... lol
I hope that your independent medical review gives you the answer that you want!!! Keep posting here if you need to vent or just chat!
Look forward to hearing from you!
Jennifer
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Their complaint is they do not want to foot the bill for the DIEP as it requires a specialist, not just a plastic surgeon and that costs more. And the plastic surgeon they sent me to is not in network and also does not perform the DIEP, only TRAM and implants. And yes I am sick of fighting this fight but I am not only doing it for myself. I am doing it for the other women who may have to go through this hell of a process so I can help them through it. I have emailed Gloria Allred to see if she would take my case but it will need to be probono cus I do not have very much money.
Congratulations on you 5 months that is awesome. How is your garden doing? I have made it a goal to only smoke in the morning and when I get home from work because I found myself smoking too much again the other day so not all is lost with my first real quit. By the way why do you still have your lighter...is it a special one?
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I'm glad to read all the support on not smoking. I'm a 28 year long smoker who had breast cancer. I smoked thru chemo and radiation, about a pack a day. My Oncologist wants me to quit along with others. Today I bought a newspaper in the smoke shop I frequently smoke in (one of the few places in Ohio where you can smoke indoors) and the gentleman waiting on me planted another seed. He said - its good to see you still smoke after all you went thru. Wow did that hit home for the first time! I feel doctors always tell a smoke to quit, but when he said that it really got me thinking. One hour at a time. Good luck to all who are trying to quit. Thanks for the great posts too.
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OK.... I give up....
I have posted 2 fairly lengthy responses tonight and they have both bit the dust!
I will try again tomorrow!
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Great to see you again.
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Hi folks, Today marks my seventh week of not smoking. I smoked off and on for 34 years. Mostly on because I love it. I still love it. Anyway, I wanted to share how I did it because it might work for some of you. I did what is called auricular stimulation. They use a machine similar to a tens unit that delivers electrical stimulation to certain areas of both ears. They claim that this opens up nerves that are blocked by nicotine and that after the tx, you are no longer addicted to nicotine.
For me the addiction part was the worst: couldn't think, had murderous thoughts, etc. etc. Well, to my surprise, it worked. I walked out (the whole thing took 30 min - 25 of which was lecture) and no longer had the physical craving. Sure I had the situational craving but I could deal with that. It cost me 100 and I could come back for a recharge for free for 30 days, after that 50 for the next 30 days.
I know me and I know if I ever take one puff, I am a goner so I just get vicarious pleasure from smelling smoke.
Hope this helps someone.
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Hi everyone. I haven't been on in awhile. Was trying to move on with my life without breast cancer. I'm doing fine healthwise (I think..haven't gone back..going next Wed). Here's my problem.
I've been trying to quit smoking since being diagnosed last year. AFter radiation I'd quit then start, repeat etc> I have been going back and forth since. I know it'as stupid especially after having breast cancer but I kept saying I would when things calmed down financially. I am a single home owner and lost my health insurance in November with my old company. I bought a conversion plan which cost me $685 mos.
I was hired by a new company in March finally making a decent salary with opportunity for commissions. I had to fly or drive to Atlanta weekly.I wasn't crazy about the commuting but needed a job that offered health insurance and paid a decent salary. I worked for the CFO who was having a major power struggle with the COO and Sales Mgr in FL. Responsibilities were yanked from the COO & Sales mgr in Fl because they weren't doing a good job and they were given to my boss who in turn hired me.
Fast foward to July 1st. Because of the power struggle the CEO (nice man but not strong) pulled everything from my boss, guaranteeing me protection. (there's alot of BS in between but I won't bore you with the details. I was at the losing end of the power struggle.
Monday they pulled me into their Tampa (3 1/2 ghr drive each way) location under the premise of a 'meeting of the minds'. We were going to go over new promotions, pricelists etc.
They let me go. They said I falsified documents because I checked the non-smoker box (evidently I checked the box one weekend when I was quitting..not because I was trying to save money), It was a witch hunt. They looked for a reason to get rid of me. I cried and said "why can't we just uncheck the box". They said other employees would want to save the money by paying the lower premium. I didn't even know there was a lower premium and if there was how much was the difference? The COO said he didn't know I had breast cancer but he did. HR knew, the CEO knew etc etc I didn't hide it. I've only been on the insurance for a month. I dropped my conversion plan on June 1st. I said I had breast cancer last year and had every intention of quitting but this place is so stressful I kept quitting and starting etc. He smiled and said you did it to yourself.
There is so much more but I need to talk to an attorney. This guy (COO) wants to fight my unemployment. I HAVE NEVER COLLECTED UNEMPLOYMENT in my 30 yrs professionally.
Help. Please
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Hey Dutchy,
Was wondering how thing have been going for you.
I have been away for quite awhile while dealing with some rough stuff lately. After some investigative X-rays due to a slight limp, my dog was diagnosed with a very aggressive bone cancer on June 22. She had a very good couple of weeks before it just all became too much for her. She was put to sleep very peacefully on July 12 at the age of 8. I know that there are so many people that have things so much worse but, my heart is broken. She was by my side when I lost my job, when I went back to school to change careers and during all of my treatments. She stood by me when MANY other friends left.
I have continued not to smoke during this time but, told my husband if I had found a pack the day we had her put to sleep I would have smoked every damn one of them. I miss her terribly.
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DebraE,
Sorry for the long delay in responding. I was a 30+ year (ouch, that makes me feel a bit old) smoker and also smoked all through treatment. My doctors all said during treatment was not the time to quit so when I was done the question really became "why not now?" I think that we can find an infinite number of reasons as to now is not the right time but, eventually something happens or is said that just kind of clicks and then you know it's the RIGHT time for YOU. Maybe the smoke shop employee was your angel. When you are ready, we will be here! Quitting is hard but the benefits are so worth it!!!
Good Luck to you!
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msc,
I am just speechless...first thought, would you qualify for Cobra? Second thought is to contact a lawyer through American Cancer Society ASAP. The COO sounds like the devil himself...and trust there will be Karma, or what ever one wants to call it.
Do anything you can to research the law, document all of this as clearly as possible while it is fresh.
some people just waste their time here on earth for sure, but when they hurt others, they have committed spiritual crimes (in my book.)
I pray for you the best outcome.
traci
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seaside,
as a fellow animal lover and mother, I send my condolences on the loss of your little one. My only consolation for the ones I have lost is to believe I will see my little doggy girls and boys again, and I hope the same for you, in due time.
to not smoke after losing her shows your great strength....and even if you had, you would have stopped again. ( I think )
I hope your grief lessens soon,
traci
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BarbaraA,
CONGRATULATIONS on your 7 weeks of not smoking! That is something to celebrate!
Very interesting idea on the auricular stimulation and glad to hear that it worked for you. It is something that I had never heard of. For me the hardest time was the first 3-5 days of physical withdrawal were the worst so anything that would have helped with that would have been greatly appreciated!
If someone was interested in this, where would they have it done? Is it done in a regular doctor's office? Physical therapist office? Any information you can provide would be appreciated!
I am the same as you... I know in my heart, for me, one puff and I'm done so I just try not to go there.
Best of luck to you!
msc209,
Wow! Sounds like you have been having a REALLY rough time of things! The quit/start/quit again/start again cycle is quite common when people first attempt to quit smoking so don't beat yourself up on that.
It sounds to me like you got caught up in a really bad game of office politics! I don't really know what the heck is going on in the minds of the CEO/COO etc at your company but, they sound like they are seriously messed up. I'm sorry that I can't really provide you with much more help than that but, know that if you just need to 'talk' I will be here.
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Thank you for your kind words, Squidwitch42!
Not everyone 'gets' the pet thing! It has been a struggle day by day and the house seems very empty but, I agree with you that I WILL see her again someday and that she will have been healed to her pain-free happy self. She is at peace and no longer in pain. It is us who are left behind that feel the pain!
We take our animals into our home knowing (or at least hoping) that we will outlive them... knowing that we will face this heartache one day... but knowing that what we receive in return is soooooo worth it! NO REGRETS!!!
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