Stop Smoking Support Thread
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SeasideMemories Thanks for your response!
I'm hoping that when I get home after surgery, I won't want to go out for a smoke. We will just have to wait and see, but again, I really appreciate your response. It's very encouraging!
Linda
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Hi Linda,
I join SeasideMemories in sending congrats on finishing your chemo! Good job. Also agree that each person is an individual and what works for one person may or may not work for another ... but each is worth a try. Lots of folks have used the patches and/or the gum. There are also lozenges and a spray. Every state also has a tobacco quit line that is reachable by dialing 1-800-QUIT NOW ... not sure how yours works, but most states have coaches that might be able to give you some good ideas.
As SeasideMemories wrote, whatever you decide ... lots of us will be here for you!
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Thanks Judy1992! I probably won't be online for a few days after my surgery.....but when I'm ready I'll certainly check in. Great to have this type of support. Husband is also a smoker, who smokes outside also (we don't allow it in our house) so I know at least I won't be smelling it if I stay inside! I have a feeling he wants to quit also, just not ready yet.
Linda
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Welcome LVLinda to the group!!! Oh....I can so relate to what you are going through. I tried to quit during chemo - too much stress - was advised to wait until after chemo. I instead waiting until I knew for sure I could quit which was after all treatments (I had to do radiation) and my trip to San Francisco - I knew I would smoke there so as soon as I got back - I got on the bandwagon to quit. I am now smoke free for about 38 days or so. I had one smoke on day #17 and I am not counting that one.
You might ask for some really strong vicodin to help the pain after the surgery. I say this because smoking and vicodin do not mix - I throw up every time I mix the two of them after surgery.
Oh...and I can admit to my friends here - I would get home from surgery - send my dh to go get my meds and I would sneak outside and smoke. And even when I had the dry heaves, I would still smoke - even when I knew that taking that drag would make me gag and throw up - I still smoked.
Do I still want to smoke? Yes!!!!!! Absolutely!!!!! I don't have the physical need to smoke, I am having a hard time dealing with the emotional need to smoke. Any kind of stress makes me want to smoke. And after going through chemo - just going to Target and Home Depot (2 hours) got me so stressed out and I thought of smoking but I didn't.
My dh's surgery went great yesterday other than the extra hour we were there because he was nauseated. They gave him 3 different nausea meds and finally got him settled in. Then they put him on oxycodone - not a good idea for him and I didn't realize it until about an hour ago. It is no wonder he has been a tyrant all day long - he would not sleep - he would not get off his leg - he was full of oxycodone which instead put him in hyper mode. I took those drugs away and gave him some of my lortabs instead. Now....I know that will knock him out long enough so I can relax. It was 5 pm before I realized I hadn't eaten all day long.
I am heading upstairs to lay in bed and watch some trash TV for a couple of hours.
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Hey Jancie,
Glad to hear that your husband's surgery went well. Sorry to hear that the drugs were kind of backfiring on him. Glad to hear that you've gotten it under control!
Get yourself something to eat and crawl into that warm bed and watch the trashiest TV you can find! You deserve it! You've had a tough week. Take some time to re-charge your "batteries" and take care of YOU!
Jennifer
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LVLinda,
Dutchy is in the same situation as you in that she has a son at home that still smokes (outside) while she is quitting. Hopefully she can weigh in on how to best handle that situation!
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Hi LVLinda, and welcome. These ladies are the best support a person can ask for and they truely understand what we all are going through. For me I have gone cold turkey with a big motivator to help me quit. I plan on having DIEP flap breast reconstruction in the near future and I have to be NICOTINE free because the nicotine slows the healing down and causes many side effects, too many to mention. My son and I use to smoke in the house and now he is smoking outside and that in itself seems to help me with my quitting. The house smells way better too. I was lucky when I quit in that I was sick the first 4 days with a cold and was in bed the whole time thus my withdrawls were barely noticed. Not to say I have not had a difficult time cuz I have, just not as bad as I expected. I was scared to death to stop smoking for fear of the withdrawls, but like I said I got sick. Anyway this thread has been a life saver to me and all the ladies have contributed in their own way. Best of luck with your surgery and congrates on finishing your chemo.
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Oh the doctor emailed me that he was going to have one of his nurses send in a prescription for ambien but it was not there today so I guess it will be on Monday or Tuesday. But at least I am going to get some help with my sleeping.
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Hi again everyone! I would have posted a note yesterday, but my husband kept me busy running around town, trying to help me keep my nerves down before tomorrow. I'll be offline for a bit, but I'll check back in when I can. Take care everyone!
Linda
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LVLinda,
Will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that it is smooth sailing for your surgery!!
Do let us know how you are doing when you feel up to it!
Praying for speedy recovery for you.
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Linda - hope all goes well with your surgery.
Dutchy - glad to see that you are still hanging in there. Ambien works for me most of the time but there are nights it flat out does not work. At least I am able to recognize the symptoms before I start taking medication. I have it down to a science as to when to take Valium, Ambien, or Mirtazapine.
My dh is driving me nuts. I don't even know where to begin and if it is worth typing out the crap that I am dealing with. He can't talk in a complete sentence and then gets mad if I start guessing at what he is trying to say. I can't win for losing if you KWIM. He made a smart ass remark about me going to my breast cancer group support meeting tonight. Heck yes....I need it tonight! I need to get away from him. He gets like this every single time he has to be put on medication. I want to smoke so bad.
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Hi Ladies,
It's been pretty quiet here for the last few days or so. Hope everyone is doing OK!
Jancie,
Hope everything went OK and that you made it to your meeting and back without smoking. I wonder if maybe your husband has bad reactions to the medication which makes him out of character. Hopefully he doesn't need to be on it too long and that you can fight the urge kill him in the meantime...lol... If you have something that you are going through that you want to get off your chest, we are here to listen, if/when you are ready! Feel free to PM me if you would be more comfortable with that.
Dutchy,
If I'm not mistaken, tomorrow is YOUR BIG DAY!!! I hope your consult goes really well and that your doctor is everything that you thought he would be and more!
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45 Days! I can't believe it - I have never made it this far before after about 12 other attempts.
I am being quiet on the boards since my house is under total remodel. Well not every part of it but it seems like it because I can't get to my own computer - I have my entire desk area wrapped in plastic to keep the dust out. I can't lie down in bed because they are working on the master bathroom. I can't use either living area because all of the furniture is pulled to the middle of the room and wrapped in plastic. I am stuck at the dining room table and that is it! Tomorrow I will find a way to leave here for a couple of hours just to get away from it. However, decidions need to be made and my dh is not great at scheduling people in the right order. I am going to tell the guys that if they need anything to CALL ME - don't bother dh at all.
I am limited to using an old PC that likes to crash right in the middle of my responses - happened last night so I got frustrated and left the site.
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Jancie!!!!!! 45 days is fantastic!!! You sound like I do when I talk about quitting. My mom called the other day to see how things were going and she very tentatively asked if I was still not smoking. I think she was afraid my answer would be no. When I told her yes and it had been 10 weeks I couldn't believe it myself! NO ONE is more surprised than I am that I have done this well and, believe me, there are LOTS of people who are surprised! You are to the point now where you could even switch to counting weeks rather than days if you want to! Soon it will be months then hopefully, for both of us, we won't remember the days that we did smoke!
Boy, sounds like your whole house is being re-modeled. That has to be a pain in the arse to deal with while you are trying to go about your day. Maybe today would be a good day to go see Jazzy although, I guess you may have to stick closer to home in case the contractors need you. Hope that whole thing is over and done with quickly and that you are happy with the changes!
Dutchy,
Still thinking of you and your appointment today. Hope all went well!
I will be away for a couple of days (off to see my sister). For those of you who celebrate Easter, Happy Easter! And for those that don't, I hope that you have a great weekend! The weather here in the northeast is supposed to reach 80 degrees this week-end. Totally unbelievable for this time of year, but VERY welcome!
Jennifer
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Jennifer - I can hear the clapping all the way here in Salt Lake City
Oh....I so wish I could have gone to see my horse but it was snowing all day long. We got 8" of snow at my house. There was no way I was going to drive another 5,000 feet elevation up the canyons to go see her. In any case, the tile setters were going to start putting the travertine in the shower but the temperature was way too cold to cut it outside and nothing would have set up. I don't know when this is supposed to clear out.
Saturday I have a lesson scheduled but I may cancel it because the contractors are coming that day. I might just have my trainer ride my horse - heck she needs as many professional rides I can afford right now so I won't end up eating dirt.
I figured once I got to 60 days then I will start counting months and weeks. But right now 46 days sounds pretty darn good to me. Sounds like more of an accomplishment than 1-1/2 months.
I am going to call it an early night and head to bed. This getting up at 8:30 am is for the birds when I normally don't get up until 10 am or even 11 am.
Dutchy - how did your appointment go?
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Jancie,
I hear you on the counting days versus weeks thing in that 46 days sounds like so much more of an accomplishment than 1 1/2 months!!! That's why I still count the weeks rather than months cuz month-wise it still looks kind of small! The point is.... we now have the CHOICE of how to count it. Something I have never had before!! Hell, I remember the first few days counting the minutes so ANYTHING is an improvement!!!
I hear the clapping here in NY for you!!
Keep up the good work GF!!Oh Yuck on the snow! Last time you had snow, we got it this way. I hope this time it passes us by. The next few days are supposed to be great here! So I guess I will take what I can get at this point.
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Hi Ladies, and congratulations on your 10 weeks Jennifer and on your 46 days Jancee. You all are my inspiration and have helped me to making it to 22 days or 3 weeks and a day, either way it is said it sounds beautiful and clean. I had my consultation with Dr. Festekjian on Thursday and it went well. Smoking was a big deal and he will even check my nicotine levels to make sure I have not cheated. I was able to say I was clean for 3 weeks and that really felt good. He requires 6 weeks clean so by the time July is hear I will have plenty of time under my belt before the surgery. Congratulations and I hope you get some sunshine because you ladies deserve it. Evelyn
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Dutchy - I didn't realizey you had hit the 3 week mark!! Congratulations - that is HUGE!!! I am very proud of you.
Dangit - unfortunately they can check nicotine levels in your body so there is no way getting around it.
I can't explain it but for some reason these past 2 days have been difficult for me. I have wanted to smoke so bad that it took everything I had to not go buy a pack. Seriously my dh and stepson were gone for 5 hours and I came close to going to the store. I only wanted one cigarette - not an entire pack - I just wanted to smoke one. I was naughty - I took some medication to help me get through it.
Tomorrow at least I will have a break from the contractors so that will be nice.
Dealing with insomnia once again!
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Well you beat the graving and got through the difficult time with your dh and son not around and that usually would give you some down time to a quiet cigarette but now you know you have to find an alternative. What is the alternative. I am using the straw very often when i have my cravings. Have you tried it? What ever you end up doing, hang in there and I am here for you. I am dealing with insomnia too and even took an ambien. Evelyn
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Right now I am craving a cigarette and looking around to see if my son has left any hanging around. I just want a few drags, at least that is what I tell myself. It has been a really boring weekend because I have to live from pay check to pay check and no extra money for a little fun. I did speed walk 5 miles with my neighbor and am grateful for my health. I am actually looking forward to work so I have something productive to do.
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Hi Ladies,
Just checking in to see how everyone's doing. We just got home yesterday from visiting my sister and brother and their families for Easter. LOTS of firsts this weekend. Longest car ride since I stopped smoking, first holiday, first time being around a large number of family members, first time at my sisters house sitting out on her deck in the beautiful warm sun with too much wine and NOT smoking. I knew going in that it may be a little rough and it was but not really as bad as I thought it would be.
There were many times this past weekend that I wanted to smoke but made it through without doing it!
Sounds like both of you had a little bit of a rough weekend as well. Maybe it was because of some of those famous firsts!
Jancie, your routine is allllll out of whack with the contractors ripping up your house. That can make things difficult too! Thought about you over the weekend. My niece is into horses and works at a barn mucking out stalls in exchange for riding time! I showed her Jazzy's picture that you have as your avatar. She was impressed! Said she was a beautiful horse! But then you already knew that...lol!!
Dutchy, boredom is absolutely a trigger for me plus being at work you are probably in much more of a routine (one where smoking is not included) than you are when you are home. I can't remember but, last time when you found your son's cigarette and slipped up was it on a weekend? If so, you may have to be on your guard on the weekends. I know there are lots of people who do just fine during the week not smoking but the weekends are their downfall. Glad to hear that your appointment went well. What is your next step?
We are still enjoying our unseasonably warm weather and I was able to get out today and take care of some work in the yard that I had been putting off. That felt really good although I am already kind of sore so tomorrow I may have a different opinion..lol!
My husband took the kids to a hockey game in Buffalo. It's a pretty long trip so they won't be back until really late tonight. I plan to just kick back and do whatever it is I want to do for the night! Don't even have to make dinner if I don't want to!
Hope you both are doing well!
Jennifer
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Hey Jennifer and Dutchy - just checking in as it is once again 1 am in the morning. I swear nothing will knock me out anymore. I think I have reached a tolerance to all medication that is out on the market.
I will write more tomorrow as I am going to try to go to bed since the contractors are showing up in less than 8 hours.
I am still smoke free although I can't seem to get rid of the cravings that hit me at odd times - not the typical trigger times - really odd situations and circumstances. Go figure. I don't think there is anything normal about me anymore.
Sleep well
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Hey Dutchy,
Just heard about the earthquake out your way! Hope all is OK. They said it could be felt all the way up to LA and even into Nevada!
Did you feel it where you are?
Jennifer
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Jancie,
I'm heading off to bed soon! Hope to NOT see a post from you in the wee hours of the night tonight! That not sleeping stuff is the worst! I have always lived by the 'I can through anything if I've had a good night's sleep' rule. But since being on Tamoxifen a whole night's sleep has been rather elusive! I do well at falling asleep but STAYING asleep is a different story.
I'm going into my 1 year follow-up appointments now with my mammogram/ultrasound coming up in another week or so. Trying not to worry but sometimes when it's just me and my thoughts, my thoughts run a bit wild and get the best of me.
I did some more work outside today (it's supposed to be our last nice day for a bit). I was tempted to complain about weeding but, thought to myself that, on this day, 1 year ago, I was at the doctor's office having the lump I felt checked out by my PCP and hearing that they thought it would be nothing but they were sending me for a mammogram/US just to be sure. That was the beginning of my journey! I figured, you know what, no matter WHAT I do today, it won't be as bad as that! Imagine! Weeding looked good in comparison to something! Who would have thought!
I hope that things will settle out for you soon and that you will be able to get a good night's sleep once your house remodel is done and you are back into more of a routine.
Jennifer
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Still trying to give up smoking. I did pretty well for a SHORT time, then I fell off the wagon! I need an easy route to give up my crutch. HELP.
Cyber hugs to all
Sue
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Things have been really rough around here. I had to call a mental health helpline at midnight earlier this week - I was having a total mental breakdown like I did 2 weeks ago - the hyperventillating, not being able to catch my breath - crying for hours on end.
I have found out that I just can't bear and tolerate and endure what was my life before cancer as far as issues with my dh and stepchildren. I don't have the strength to deal with them and cancer both.
What is so ironic - here I am calling a suicide hot line but I don't want to die, I don't want to kill myself but I kept thinking if I were dead then I wouldn't have to deal with this crap that is too much for me to handle.
In any case I started seeing a professional therapist this past week - of all things - she had breast cancer and a double masectomy. Don't know how many years ago but at least she can understand the fears of testing, scans, recurrences, etc.
I have missed all of ya'll but have been too much out of it mentally to actually post but I do come here and read every night.
Susanmary - welcome! Don't beat yourself up - I have done that way too many times. I am on Chantix and it is the only thing that has worked for me and believe me I have tried everything on the market.
I fell off the wagon at day 17 with one smoke. I fell off the wagon again this week at Day 55. But I am picking myself right back up and I am not going to beat myself any longer and feel like a failure for trying to quit one of the most addicting habits there is. Someone told me this week that it is hard to quit smoking than it is to shoot up heroin. Go figure.
So I have had 2 smokes in 55 days. That is actually a record for me. I don't want to go back to smoking full time and I think I am past that happening. What I know is going to happen is that when things get really bad (and I mean extremely bad) then I will break down and have a smoke but it will be one and only one like it has these past 2 times.
As I get older I have come to the understanding I am not superwoman and that is ok but never before have I had total meltdowns like I have this month.
I am going to be out of town next weekend. I am going to the Image Reborn retreat held in Park City. Breast cancer survivors from all of the US can sign up and they will reimburse up to $500 travel expenses. There are 8 women that will be together, we will have our own private chef, massages, nutritionist, etc. I have been signed up for almost a year now and they had a last minute cancellation so because I am pretty much local I was asked to fill the spot. It is typically a one year waiting list as they hold it only once a month and not during December.
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Sorry that I haven't been around too much the last couple of days or so. A very dear friend's mother was just diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer so I have been trying to help her with understanding some of the medical stuff that goes along with it. Her operation is today in a hospital an hour away. Then, after recovery from surgery, she will begin chemo. My friend is so scared and sad that it breaks my heart. I haven't been on this end of things before and feel like there is little I can do to help. She was one that called me every week during treatment and I just wish there was something I could do for her. For now I guess I will just be there to listen and let her guide me.
Welcome Susanmary,
As Jancie said, don't beat yourself up for trying before and not succeeding. What is important is that you find the right method that works for you. There are so many tools to help you and different methods to try until you hit on the one that works for you! I'm afraid that there isn't a way that I have seen that I would call 'easy' (I would love to find one, though!) but, it is definitely doable. I didn't think that I would be able to quit after smoking for over 30 years but I now have 12 weeks under my belt! You can do it too. We will be here to support you when you are ready.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Dearest Jancie,
Wow. I am sending you a huge HUG from NY. I am soooooooo sorry that you are hurting so badly. It is good that you have started to see someone who you can talk to. Sometimes when things are so overwhelming and dark, you can lose hope. There is someone on this site that has in her signature "the weakest step toward the top of the hill, toward sunrise, toward hope, is stronger than the fiercest storm". I was struck by that and said it to myself during the darkest times in my treatment. I pray that you will be taking that step no matter how weak or strong toward hope and feeling better emotionally!
Since you said this is out of character for you, one other thing comes to mind and has me a little concerned. Chantix has as one of it's less common side effects depression and suicidal thoughts. It is possible that the medication is what is making you feel like this! I think I would mention to your doctor that you are on it and see what she has to say.
You are absolutely right about how incredibly addicting nicotine is! One thing I read was that one the real tragedies of smoking is how hard we had to work to get addicted! Unlike alcohol, heroin and other drugs, there is no pleasure when you very first started smoking. In fact, I remember feeling like I was going to throw up, in fact, I may have...lol. It was only by forcing ourselves through that initial unpleasantness that our bodies start to perceive smoking as being enjoyable. But, once you're there, it is extremely hard to give it up.
As far as having that smoke... You went TWICE as long as you did the first time. Don't waste energy beating yourself up. You get right back on this wagon, GF! I'm going to buy you a seatbelt so you don't fall off again...lol!!!! I know I am afraid that if I ever had one smoke I wouldn't stop. Don't let your guard down in thinking that you are past the point of going back to full time smoking. That's how the addiction reels you back in!
How exciting about the retreat! It sounds really GREAT! Hopefully all that pampering will make you feel a bit better.
Please let us know (no matter how short the response) how you are doing. I know that we have never met in person but, I do care.
Jennifer
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Oh Duuuuuuuuutchy......
Where are you?
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Checking in - doing ok today! Just another day! The good news is that the chocolate brown walls and tan walls got painted in my living room and the chocolate brown walls look delicious!
I have group support tonight at the hospital. We meet every other Monday - breast cancer patients only - those that have been through treatment, in treatment, or starting. You can go at any time and you are welcome to stick around for years if you want. LOL. I have been going for 13 months now.
I will write more tonight - just wanted to let you know that I am not in that dark area right this minute - maybe that is because I just ate a bowl of delicious potato soup with grated Romano cheese and bacon bits in it.0
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