Exchange City
Comments
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Ladies, great posts today, I loved the shout out for the NFL wearing Pink!
Judy, I thought I was going to "pop" something myself from laughing about your description of your TE's, and your current opinion of them. You crack me up! Are you getting ready for vacation?
Wendy, First make sure that this renewal of interest from the SO is worthy of you taking a risk on him again. Are you willing to go through another rejection is he still can't wrap his heart and head around what you have been through? Be careful of a therapist that keeps you on the hook too long for therapy. It shouldn't take too long in therapy to figure out if the SO is really a partner or just prefers a comfortable routine. I don't mean to be blunt, but I have seen couples in therapy for years and no improvement in the relationship except for the therapists revenue. I hope you get the reassurance and answers you need.
Jan
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Thank you Jan, Karen and Estepp:
I am definitely being cautious with him. Our situation is complicated by the fact that both of his parents were survivors of the death camps during WWII. SO he grew up in a world where surviving was everything, and you just moved on. I have tried to explain how that is not good and to tie it into the horrible night mares and night rages his mom (now 83) goes through. I think having someone else explain to him that the repression behavior is not healthy nor normal. I tried to explain to him that I am allowed to consider myself lucky among the population of BC survivors, but that does not make me lucky. Lucky is never having to had this as an issue to consider.. I explained that his mom was lucky among people who went into the camps, but its not my place to tell her she is lucky, because at the end of the day, having to go through the camps and lose yiour parents and 4 of 5 brothers before you turned 18 was not lucky, it sucked. He seemed to see a little of what I was saying but who knows.
I think my feelings are pretty normal its only been 6 months and I have more surgery coming plus I have to schedule the oop (which scares me to death) for next year. Living with a BRCAI dx is not fun, even when these risks are mitigated, there are other risks that have to be monitored and I think I am allowed every now and again to be bummed out or anxious about it When you add in my mom's stage 4 melanoma and her July amputation of her leg, well, I think feeling a bit frazzled is normal, most people probably would not be able to get out of bed for a few months.
We will see,
Wend
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GO JUDY!.....GO JUDY!......LAST FILL! .........YIPPEE!!!
btw......y'all shouldn't make me laugh so much - it does NOT feel good to the new foobs!
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I purchased two Freya bras at Nordstrom's yesterday Val. I wore one to bed last night. It really does separate and it really does support the inframammary fold. I always have this little bit of tenting on my left breast in the cleavage area and really does keep the implants where they should be within the capsule. It is not the most comfortable bra to sleep in, and it does not look as good in other bras in clothing. It makes me look much smaller so it acts as a breast minimizer actually. But that is okay. It serves a purpose. They are very pretty - and my husband is very happy with them.
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Wendy: Why don't you join a BC support group and take your BF? Here are support groups in NY Metro:
http://health.msn.com/support-groups/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100107456
Another great organization is FORCE and they have support groups in your area.
http://www.facingourrisk.org/FORCE_community/local_groups/newyork.html#about
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Which Freya bra is it. Is it a sports bra? Wire? Underwire? I find if I wear even a light sports bra my tissue expanders hurt near the underarm. But without a bra, I find my skin pulls at the lower end of my cleavage. Should I be wearing a bra??
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Mantra: No, you want to wait until after your exchange to implants before wearing this bra! We were discussing this bra as this is the bra or type of bra Val's plastic surgeon recommends she wear 24/7, now that she has her implants, I happen to really like the way her PS thinks....
You know, my PS never told me to wear a support garment during my tissue expansion process but in hindsight, I WISH I had worn one. My TE's dropped quite a bit....I regret not supporting them. So some form of light support - [wireless] if only for comfort at this point in the expansion process - is probably a good thing.
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Whippetmom - which style did you get? I wouldn't say that mine is a minimizer - but then again, I'm still in button-up shirts since not supposed to lift my arms yet. I really think the support is great, though definitely at the price of comfort...... My ps said that because expanded skin is so thin, it requires a lot of extra support to keep the implants in the capsule - from "falling off the ribacage," as he explained it........ I've spent more on bras in the last 4 days than I have in my entire life!!
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Val: I bought this one - on sale:
And this one....not on sale..WHICH I think I am going to return and just order on barenecessities.com where it is on sale...duh!!!
http://www.barenecessities.com/Freya-Arabella-Plunge-Bra_product_FreyaAA5721_,search,.htm
The fitter at Nordstrom put me in a 34 E, which I am not sold on as my ultimate size in this bra.
Once I get my size right, I'll just buy them new on Ebay and save lots of $$$
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Colleen/Cnemeth: Thanks for the compliments! The grafting was nowhere near as bad as I thought it might be. Because I was having several procedures done at the same time, I was asleep, but that makes it hard to estimate a recovery time for just a nipple procedure. Have you started any recon yet? The graft site didn't hurt too much, but because it's in an awkward place, your clothes will rub and irritate it. Feel free to PM me if you'd like more details.
I hope you can join us in Vegas next time. It was sooo awesome!!
Diane
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Years ago, I had 11 grafts taken from behind my ears. Never bothered me at all.
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athena - your TE volume is very similar to what mine were. I, too, thought that seemed quite small compared to all the others on this thread (I even named my thread on the pic site after it!), but the TE volume does not necessarily dicate your implant volume - depending on your ps's philosophy. My implants are actually 70% larger volume than my TEs were - go figure.....Feel free to PM me if you want details............ As for the bra preventing symmastia, it's actually to prevent just the opposite - from the implants gravitating to the sides.0
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Deborah - 34 E????!!!!! Talk about VAVOOM! I, too, ordered the Arabella from BareNecessities since it came in a nude color (unlike the Pollyanna), so I could have something to wear under white shirts, which is probably 50% of my wardrobe.... It looked like it was quite similar to the Pollyanna, so I hope it works. This site has great fitting tips at the bottom of each style, so it makes comparing bras easier. I think this is the bra in my ps's pic http://www.herroom.com/Freya-5722-Eleanor-Plunge-Bra.shtml
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I love the Eleanor...it is on sale also at Bare Necessities. Their bra fitting tips are different than those we have heard of previously:
http://www.barenecessities.com/fit_sizing.aspx
athena: I am confused....you have your TE's but you state "I am "wearing" silicone smooth round." Did you mean "wanting" silicone rounds? Also, with the volumes you are describing and a width of 12.0 cm, it sounds like your PS is talking about saline implants? If not, certainly a lower profile style of silicone....I would nail down what style and what dimensions before the exchange. If you like the size of your TE's, you will want to exchange to an implant with similar dimensions. For instance, the Style 15 - moderate plus style - would require 339 cc's to get 12.4 cm width by 4.0 cm projection. You could probably work with a 304 cc Style 15, which would be 11.9 cm width by 4.0 cm projection. To get 12.0 cm in anything under 300 cc's in silicone, you would be looking at Style 10 in the 270 cc implant, which is 12.2 cm width by 3.3 cm projection. You would hate that implant. Flatter than a pancake. I think your PS is still thinking "textured" with those kind of numbers...you can get a 290 cc implant in a textured with a width of 12.0 cm.
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athena: "I assume he would add more saline?" = No - these are silicone implants. You cannot add or remove anything from these implants. They are not "expandable". They can take various "sizers" in the OR to see which implant looks best though....yes. Okay....glad you clarified - but finding out which STYLE the PS has in mind is necessary so that there are no SURPRISES!!!
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Boy athena, you have me going here....I'm scrambling here, clarifying like crazy, praying some newbie does not come to this thread thinking you can add saline to silicone implants! But "woolyheaded"? Wow....that is pretty darn funny.....that is EXACTLY how I feel most days! I'll have to remember that one! LOL!
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whippetmom:
Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!
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OK.. Ladies.. as I lead into ANOTHER exchange...
SHOULD I WEAR A BRA all the time?? I was told I did not need to... yet all you ladies are now saying different??????????
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Wendy,
I am hopeful that you will find what works best for you, without apologies. This is a grieving process and you need to go through it at your own pace and in your own way. Good luck with your counseling and do what is best for you.
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You guys are hysterical...I follow this thread every night (If I dare miss one then I am here forever catching up!!) and I am so happy to hear how well so many of you are healing and feeling. I keep learning and learning...I am a long way off from my exchange (I just finished radiation and am thinking of filling 50 more cc's per side, next week). But now, I am so unsure. I too wanted to stay small. I am filled to 230cc's and I look like I have two mini footballs stuck to my chest (the oddest shape with points at either ends - I can feel how the expander is folded over itself). I see that I can have this amout of cc's and still have a nice chest. I wanted to be a small B or big A. I do not know the name of the expanders I have, I will have to get that info to post it here eventually...but the one thing that I was wondering...I asked to never have to wear a bra again. That was the one "good" thing I wanted to come out of this. Now I see that wearing a bra might be necessary. Is this so? I never wear one now, I play tennis many times a week, am I doing damage to the pockets being created?
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BUMPING FOR COOLBREEZE.. LADIES this gal NEED our help... Look for her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Kerkle...I want to know this too...:)
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Estepp - yours looked stunning with no bra! You must have done it right. Did you wear a bra right after surgery?
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I only wore a bra for a week.. then.. NOPE... now.. the NON rads side fell out of the pocket... so I have another exchange 10/28 to lift the NON rads side and put in bigger implants to fix mild ripples...
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How does it fall out of the pocket?
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(((Dani))) Thank you so much
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I have NO idea... but mine did...??? PS says he is going to stitch it better in there???
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RE: The Bra Mystique -
My PS wanted me to wear a support bra [wireless] for the first month after the exchange. I wear it [and others like it] still - 6 months after the exchange. Some plastic surgeons do not instruct their patients to wear anything - some have their patients wearing compression or surgical type bras and some have other methods of addressing the post-recovery period after the exchange. With everything I have read and researched, I agree with Val's PS regarding the use of a bra which will: 1. Have side support which keeps the breasts from migrating towards the armpits, 2. Has a good sternum support to separate the breasts in the cleavage area, and 3. Supports and defines the inframammary fold. Please note that Val's instructions are to wear this bra 24/7 for three months. It seems to be this three month period after the exchange when you want to really secure those implants within the capsule. After this three month protection plan, depending on the volume of your implants, certainly wear a lighter support bar or throw the bras away! If you have implants with 350 cc's or less, there is very little concern about bottoming out or adverse stretching of the skin causing too much droop [ptosis] of the implants.. My tissue is thin and it has the propensity to stretch, and I have 550 cc implants. I occasionally wear tube tops/dresses - like we wore in Vegas Laura - and this is fine. But on a regular basis, if you have higher volume implants, it is nice to give them a little support and encouragement towards staying where they belong - on your chest wall, not around your knees.
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Thanks for the bump. I don't know where to start, without cutting and pasting my recent post.
I'll give a short background. Found dimpliing in breast in May, ignored it, had diagnositic mammogram in mid-August, dx'd cancer. Testing ever since (biopsies, two MRIs) to try to save my breast, but have multi-focal disease and it has to go.
My surgeon presented my case at a medical board meeting and after two months, I need to get his done sooner rather than later.
I am too thin for any kind of reconstruction except for implants. Saw a surgeon today who showed me pictures - all of which horrified me. There were weird lumps, pullings, folds, and other disfigurements. None of them were symmetrical - whether double-mast or single. Even the areola tatooing was off-kilter. I was not expecting to see that kind of thing. Even the ones that looked semi-okay from the front looked bad from the side.
Does that sound normal to you lades who have had implants? Am I expecting too much? I have never seen an implant reconstruction before, except what I see online, and those look a lot better than what he showed me today.
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CoolBreeze: Run, run, run from that PS! Seriously - were these photos of HIS patients? Because we have all seen some pretty nice looking breasts after reconstruction and what you are describing, [as long as your expectations are not unrealistic] sounds frightening indeed. So I think a consultation with another PS is in order. If you let us know where you live [city and state] we can help. You can PM me with this info if you want your locale to remain private.
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