Exchange City
Comments
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Ann:
Try to focus on the good part of getting a new, perky,
"forever 21" boob! Interesting and unique, yes. But try to put a "getting a boob job" spin on it. It may trivialize it a tad bit, but the focus on that truly helps.I remember being devastated, hearing mastectomy, then I thought, "no, with recon, we are only restuffing the couch cushions, with new polyester,,,same old couch, just new stuffing."
So when I met my old onc (he got promoted to lymphoma), he was all sad and ready to commiserate and I lifted my head and proudly announced "the hell with this....we're going holly wood!" Then he laughed and so did I.
You will win. And you will have a great rack too.
.I'm going for a prophy on the other gal, in the summer. And now I know first hand how nice the recon looks! Completely natural. The couch is happy.
love to you
xoxo
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girls: another little helper that worked for me: before you take a look at the new girl, try not to compare anything in any way to your boob before recon. this is a new deal, a new cancer free day, and your boobs, in the end, are going to look great. Most importantly, healthy.
Look, they fed our children, they did their job. They are only chunks of fat on our chest....when we gain or lose weight, they get bigger or smaller. We don't mourn a weight loss, do we? Yet it is a sort of reduction, also.
yes, it's weird not having the nipple. But it's weirder to have to worry about BC, isn't it? Just focus on how good you will look down the road..........and you will.
I do think it's important to mourn the loss of the old you.....but the old you had cancer. The new you doesn't. So mourn, let go, and the cancer move away from you forever and welcome your new boobies. They want you to like them.
love to all...........xoxoxoxoxoxoxo and good health to all too.
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Just wanted to tell everyone that I'm so glad we can meet here to sympathize, share, and bitch together. I must be feeling emotional right now
geneskirt, I don't have an answer for you, but I'm sure Deborah will. Congrats on getting to the end of your expansion. I know you will love your much softer implants.
Wendy, I'm so glad your alien will be allright! I, too, have that weird nerve thing just behind my arm, and it tingles the side of my breast.
KEW, love the new pic! Hope you feel better soon.
Laura, get better soon!
Robin, good luck on the new nips! Coming up soon.
annie, I like that hollywood spin!:)
{{{HUGS}}} to all!
Deen
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Anniealso ~what a beautiful post !
Thank you ~
xo
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Hello amazing women,
So I'm popping my head in after 1.5 months to check in and say hi. I see that dear Karen had asked about me some time back and I am sorry to have abandoned the boards. I think I just went on overwhelm and couldn't keep up. Between my own physical pain and debridements, my mom having a stroke and losing partial vision, my somewhat psychically painful work (clinician specializing in women with trauma and addictions) - I found I just couldn't show up in my personal life to anything that even slightly challenging! What that meant was not only leaving the boards for a bit but needing to pull back from some of my more "intense" friends. I love those friends, I love these boards, I love you women and your humor and courage - but I could feel myself "shrinking" - withdrawing, wanting to isolate, starting to eat unhealthily, getting CRANKY! - I needed to pull back. Like I said it was just a feeling of "I can' keep up". All this to say, I hope it's OK I'm peeking my head back in to say hello after being gone for a bit.
I've gone back and have gotten to read about what has gone on in some of your lives. I continue to be in amazement at the fortitude of so many of you - Karen! school, job, kids, how do you do it? Deborah, Jan, Sandy, Linda and so many others - I hope when this is said and done I can show up to others and my own recovery the way you all do.
I'm at full tilt now - got my last fill yesterday. Unradiated boob at 430cc and Radiated boob at 470cc. I had to go back to the OR again a bit back and with the two OR visits (post mastectomy) my radiated boob had gotten much smaller than the other. Yadda, yadda - I'll finally have my exchange surgery late January or early Feb if all goes well. The expanders are quite shifted outwards and at 5'2" I am quite a sight with them each protruding in opposite directions. I'm sure my clients can't quite tell WHAT is going on under all these big peasant shirts! My doc calls me a "good sport" and assures me that she will be able to bring it all together at the exchange. She'll put sutures laterally to keep the implants more central, and forge more of a pocket centrally in which they will sit. I'm going for 300cc implants, Mentor High Profile. The elephant that sits on my chest, shifting quite painfully at night, will have to find another chick to rest upon. I can hardly wait to send him on his way.
All in all, I'm grateful that my skin has decided to "knit" together and that I am cancer free. A miracle. No matter how this works out in the end, after three bouts of the nasty disease - freedom!!!!!!!!!
As an aside - I did try to date and engage in a short relationship during this.... makes for some entertaining stories and have given me even more clarity about what I want/need in a man. Right now what I want and need is to keep coming back to myself, letting go of the "shoulds", and just being with where things are at right now. I am grateful for this sisterhood.
Peace and love,
Geena
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Anniealso - thanks for the insight. Sounds like you dealt with this much like i did. Have any of you seen the t'shirt that says something like, of course these are fake; the real ones tried to kill me? That's how I try to look at my new perky implant. It's really not mine, but it didn't try to end my life.
Ann, I also had a single mastectomy, just got my implant on the "bad" side and will have a reduction and lift, plus get my nipple recon on 11/20! Seems so slow, but so fast. The ladies here are awesome and can, and will, answer any questions you have. Keep us all posted.
Right now my biggest fear is that on my 6 month follow ups, coming in a couple of weeks, they'll find a problem on the good side and I'll have to start over. Is that normal ladies? The day after I scheduled my surgery I found a sore lump on the good side and am now spinning out of control. I know it's all in my head.....
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((((((Geena))))) I am so GLAD to hear from you!!!! Good for you for taking time and being gentle with yourself. I'm sorry about your Mom, how is she? Wow, you are definitely in an emotionally challenging work environment--I used to volunteer at a DV shelter and you don't leave that at the door at the end of the day. Yes, school, my MSW, loving it so far, but it all keeps me busy--to some extent, it alows me the chance to avoid thinking about the things I'm not yet ready to deal with
Glad your skin did its job, you will be so happy with the new girls, just hang in there, they will be heading in the right direction soon. Your clients are grateful to have you, I bet they are not thinking about the direction of your TEs.
I have to run to a cross country meet, hopefully it won't rain, don't need to be having a cold in the cold.
Geena, we are here for you now, or later, I'm just so happy to hear from you as I know everyone will be.
Love-
KarenW
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I really appreciate reading the EC. Thanks to all. I had my last expansion Thurs. and I have to admit this one really is uncomfortable. I hope it will get better since I am now "waiting" for the exchange. At one of my sons' school, the front office introduced me to teacher who has been there and done that recently. It was enlightening to talk to her and she and I are getting together next week because she wants to show me her "pictorial" journey...I am excited. She just had her nipple reconst....it looks awesome...from what I could see from her T-shirt of course!
NAE
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geneskirt: Absolutely the 490 cc's - well, if they are the Mentor CPG's - actually they go by grams....but you have sufficient expansion for that size. My TEs were 12.0 cm wide and my implants are 13.5 cc's wide. You will appreciate the extra volume. I see no reason for not having sufficient skin for nipples as well. Three months between exchange and nips - and this should give time for the skin to stretch a little more as well. BTW: You did have him show you the difference between the gummies and the standard silicone rounds - the Mentor silicone rounds, right? And you have read about the pros and cons of the anatomical gummies?0
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greaytmom: (great name!)
I did see the Tshirt, and i totally loved it. Alot of my friends and family are horrified w/ my somewhat out there sense of humor tho. I do have that attitude, as my boobs were gorgeous. Full, firm and BIG and not saggy at all. My hubby had just told me the previous night "your breasts are perfect" so it hurt all the more to lose one of them. The next damn day, I get the diagnosis. Grrrrr.
So I do try to see that glass as half full, dammit! I resolutely have stuck my head into that, but I also feel it's important to mourn what you lost, just as you mourn when your child grows up and goes off to college....It's the transition thing. You miss the baby, but you still love and need the grown up person the baby was. Well, it's along those lines, isn't it. You always feel a little wistful over what was. On the other hand, the real and "perfect" one left is sagging like crazy!!! So losing a boob to be healthy or let's put that "redoing" a boob to be healthy so that you can get to hug those grandbabies is the most important thing, really. Or whoever you want to hug!! SO, children, BF, GFs, etc. My new boob looks exactly like my old boob, but is uh, flying higher, shall we say? Like anything in life, it's a process of moving on.............
good to remember, but I choose to look ahead.
.love everyone..............Laura, sweet lady, feel better!!!!
xoxo
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Thank you for letting me know you all mourned your breasts too. I don't think of them as fat attached to my chest although I respect those that do. Yes, they nursed my babies but in my mind, they haven't done their job so I should be done with them. I wanted my grandchildren to rest their heads on their softness, I wanted to see how they would do over the years. I wanted my husband (and me) to enjoy them. I wanted to still have that figure for as long as I could.
And, they are beautiful. My PS also was amazed at how I looked at 51. He said I looked better than 95% of women out there, even at my age. They are large and have caught me men, caused thousands of head turns, caused me to have confidence (because the rest of me is unremarkable.). They are part of my sexual experience and part of what makes me feel womanly.
I've taken care of them. Silly me, back when I was 16 I read that Marilyn Monroe slept in a bra so her breasts would never sag. So, I began doing the same, and have slept with support for almost 40 years. And you know what? It worked. They haven't sagged. I don't need fake perky ones because I have real perky ones. All that time and care - down the drain.
No implants are going to give me those things back. But, I've had two months to get used to the idea. And, my grandchildren can't rest their heads on anything if I'm dead. I'm married so I don't need head turns. I have two children, one 23 and one 12, who don't care about my breasts. I know that confidence come from within, not from your breasts or appearance.
So, I've accepted it. It is what it is. I will never be happy it happened and I'll never like my fake breast as much as my real one, but there is nothing I can do about it so anger isn't going to help me either. Being strong is what helps.
I did take photos on my iPhone. My poor son went to grab it for some reason and saw one. LOL. Poor kid, last thing a 12 year old needs. Unfortunately, cancer has deformed one now so it's not the lovely work of art it once was anyway. That visual also helps - it would be harder if I couldn't see anything and it looked perfect.
Your support in this thread means a lot to me.
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Hi ladies,
I think it would be weird if we didn't mourn our breasts in some way. Mine weren't big or perfect. Just natural. When I look at pictures taken a year ago, just before my mast, I think, Was that really me? I do look different now. My new smooth implants are so much softer than the textured ones were. But not like the natural ones.
I've posted some before and after pics. Let me know what you all think. Also, does anyone know how to get adhesive off the surgical bra without ruining it?
Laura and Karen. Get better!!!!
Congrats on all the nips. I'm really hoping I can get mine done the end of Dec. Won't quite be 3 months but I sure hate to start over with the deductible for a 3rd year.
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Laura--Don't you know that nothing depresses us plump girls as much as slim, lovely gals like you thinking they are overweight? I don't care what any stupid weight chart says, you are slim and you are beautiful. So there!!
KEW/Karen--You mean at some point, Keith Richards looked like he was alive? If he did, I don't remember it, and I'm 54!!
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Hi ladies - Yes, we all mourn what we have lost. But we also celebrate what we have gained. Our lives and hope! At least we have the option to remove that which is causing us so much problem. It would be much tougher to lose an arm or a leg. I miss the softness of natural breasts, but mostly I tell them good riddence. They were not good for my health.
Hugs to you all. Take care. - Jean
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Geena
So glad that you popped your head back into the boards. So sorry to hear about your mom and everything else that you have been dealing with. I am glad that you are nearing your exchange surgery. Hopefully when you feel that you are "done" you can relax and start enjoying your life more. I love how you express yourself in words......
Take care
please don't stay away
Linda
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Diane--I think he still looked human and could speak in complete sentences during the "Some Girls" tour in 1978, pretty much down hill since then!
Hugs--KarenW
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Geena, stick around if you can.. we are so glad to see you!
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Thought I'd pop on to send healthy vibes to those who need it!!!!
Also.....{{{{GROUP HUG!!!}}}}
Night all!
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Whippetmon : Hi, I inquired about the round, bcuz i like the volume in the upper half.....He felt the round for my thin skin would look too "obvious". ( My T/E currently jump off from my ribs like half a baseball jumping off dinner plate, lol). Does everyone look like that? its crazy extreme! I understood(read it here) that the contours may shift under the pressure of the pec muscles, etc. and the rounds would eliminate that variable.
The extra .5cm of the larger implant would come from ?where? Would it push more towards the arm OR close the gap at the cleavage point? Is that a surgical choice?
The current T/E bump my arms(but look natura) however, there is a larger gap BETWEEN the 'breast' than i remember their being(like 1" at the rib plane).
Hope these questions make sense. I have no idea why i didn't ask the PS these questions?????
p.s. yes CPG0 -
geneskirt: The additional .5 cm is negligible in what it will do from an appearance standpoint. It will fill in the pocket - it is not rigid like the expander...remember....so yes, it will aid in softening and filling in the cleavage area. But I actually feel that unless you have pocket work, it is better to have a little more width than the TE, so that it really sits nice and tight in the pocket - to avoid rippling laterally. I think at least 95% of us - maybe more - have implants with greater width than the TE's. Otherwise, those who have implants narrower than the TEs have done so b/c the TEs were too wide to begin with - but this required significant pocket work to narrow the pockets.
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Hello to All you wonderful ladies. It's been a while since i"ve been on here myself. Had my exchange on the 6th and before that I had to move and work so today I'm enjoying reading all the updates from you and glad to hear the progress in each others journey. It really is amazing how each story differs from one another but we are all connected in a special way. My twins aren't exactly in line with each other but I hear that comes with time. My PS told me to wear a sports bra for the next 2 months but I was groggy and didn't get the explanation of why. I read here someone was told to wear underwire and I was told not to? I found a good sports bra at Target yesterday that had a bit of form to it so I for the most part look even. I see on my implant card one side was 234 cc's and the reconstructed one is 550. He was supposed to put alift in the left breast but didn't so hope the new foob comes down to meet the other one. Have to say I didn't have much going into this and it's nice to have more after the 4-1/2 year journey. Hoping to get the nippy end of Dec again to meet the insurance deadline so looking forward to putting this year behind me. To all you newbies best of luck and hang in there. Humor has kept me going along with some great strong women I've met along with way and those of you who have kept us all informed of your journey. Hugs and warm thoughts to all... P
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Pammers ~ Congrats on the Exchange ~ I hope your new pair settle in nicely!
Hugs to all !
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HI everyone
I couldn't wait until I had an exchange date so that I could post it on this thread! My exchange surgery is scheduled for Nov 25. I had a bilateral mastectomy for dcis on Sept 10, so things are moving along pretty fast for me. My last fill was 2 days ago at 50ccs and I am now at 500ccs, which is all my ps thinks my skin can take. I am 5'6" and about 140 lbs and used to be a full C cup. I hope to be at least a full C or a small D after exchange. My ps plans to being a 460 cc implant and a 500 cc implant with him to surgery to see which one will work better for me. He thinks a 500 will look great on me so I hope that it will work. I will try to take a photo to post on the photo website. I feel like I still have so much to learn and all of you are so knowledgeable, so I'm happy to join this thread.
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Annie...YAY!!! Congrats on getting your exchange date so soooooon!!!! WOO HOO!!! And welcome to the most AMAZING place with the most FABULOUS group of SPECTACULAR women!!! THE TATA SISTERHOOD ROCKS!!
HUGS!
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Annie7216 - Ask your PS to bring in a 550 cc implant also - this is where I think you might need to be for a large "C"/small "D" on your frame. I submitted your date to Jean and she will post it shortly! Welcome!
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The Breast Whisperer Has Spoken!!! YOU ROCK!!!!
Annie I suggest you listen to her, she TOTALLY knows her stuff!!
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Annie - I am so pleased you have a date! Now it will feel more real to you! Congratulations! - Jean
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OK, I'm building my list for my meet with PS at the end of the month and I'm wondering about some of the side fat, sorry, can't think of a more attractive way to talk about it. If that gets lipo'd out doesn't it take lymph nodes? Does it contribute to possible LE, anyone have any information on this?
Also, Deborah, I think that you or Laura figured out my expanders MV-133 600 filled to 750cc are bigger than my 800cc mentors. If you remember that can you once again, I'm sooo sorry to ask, tell me how? Maybe my pockets are too big and that is why I have rippling? I am really trying to make this list complete. I know we talked about not going bigger, if the pocket is too big can it be made a little smaller? My ribcage is 34.
Laura--I hope you are feeling better...
Hugs--KarenW
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Karen - Good questions for your PS. I can't help you, but I know that Deborah or Sandy can provide some guidance.
Ladies - Just thought I would share a comment my dh made tonight. Please note that I had my PBM last December and just had nip/areola surgery last week. Tonight was the first time he saw me w/o bandages and what not since my nip surgery. He looked at me and said "Wow - looks like real boobs." Don't you know that I have a smile from ear to ear. Almost a year later, but I am starting to look like me again.
Laura - I hope you are getting well F..A..S..T..!!!!! Don't want to be sick when you have an exchange coming up!
Hugs to all having surgery this week.
Jazzygem - You are the only one on our list. We will all be there w/ you in our thoughts. I assume you will be staying over, how many nights do you need to be in the hospital? We will be waiting to hear from you when you get out.
10/20 - jazzygem - Hyster/ooph/exchange of capular contracture
Prophylactic Bilateral Mastectomy w/ Tissue Expanders - 12/08 Exchange 04/09
Diagnosis: 8/25/2008, LCIS, Stage 00 -
Just a quick note to sy I'm back, and yes I was on a cruise (another one)..My goodness!! It took me over 2 hours or so to read all the posts..And I was only gone for 8 days!!! Two comments:
JAN: Your story of the pillows and the song-sung to William Tell, and the three nips was HILARIOUS.
CoolBreeze: We have the HIPPA law to protect us from discrimination because of a medical consition. It is against the law to ask if we have a medical condition unless it will prevent us from doing the job. We needn't bring it up. It can only hurt. Especially in this market. My 2 cents.
General Information: Nips/Areolas do not come with color. We color them later. I personally, am choosing not to get them at all, and to do 3D tattooing so it looks like I have them. In any case, do not get them too soon, your breasts may 'settle' a little differently and they could make that settling very obvious. If done later on, (3 months or preferably, more) the chances of them being even are better.
Laura/Deborah/everyone: Thanks for being there. We love you all. JUDY
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