Exchange City
Comments
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Ah fairport...my heart is with you right this moment as you are in surgery.....love to you...
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Kathy/Fairport - What a lovely picture! You don't look a day beyond highschool! ANd I have been thinking of you a bunch tonight, I know your surgery was scheduled for late today. Hugs and love are floating all around you.
Ladies - I am not keeping up w/ the postings here, I am so sorry. My mom is doing pretty well but the three antibiotics that she needs to take for the Tb are wiping her out. And I have been very busy running over there and trying to help out. If you have a new surgery date please PM me and I will post the date.
Hugs to all having surgery this week!! - Jean
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TNlady, I went back to work today and was surprised by the people that looked at my chest. People that I didn't even know knew what was going on. It didn't bother me though. I wore a form fitting long sleeve tee with a cardigan over it and buttoned partially. I showed them but didn't. My closest friends that have supported me through these three surgeries came right out and said "let me see", because they knew they could. I didn't have any uncomfortable encounters, only support so it was good. It was tiring though.
Val, I must have missed that your were having a revision! I tried to jack up the workouts prior to my surgery too. I was also very paranoid about being exposed to germs. I go back to the ps tomorrow and she will take out the stitches so hopefully she will let me do more.
Jean, I can't believe you met up with a former classmate here! Good thoughts are with fairportlady55 tonight.
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Fairport: Best of luck to you....I'll be praying for a smooth and easy recovery for you.
Laura: Sorry to hear about all your pain from the meds. I hope your weaning off period goes well and that you are pain free as well as med-free. I too was going that route with Tamox. I had the Dr prescribe Effexor and then never picked it up at the pharmacy. It's probably still sitting in that little plastic container waiting for me...! As for the Tamox, I was told to get off it 2 weeks before my exchange surgery and to go back on 2 weeks after my surgery. That was almost 2 weeks ago and I still haven't taken it and I don't think I ever am going to take it again. Headaches, hot flashes, troubles with my vision and generally feeling lousy, nope, not for me!
Terri
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So my exchange is in one week I was so relieved when I finally got the date but the past few days I've been, I don't know what I've been, weird.
I came to the realization last week that my DH is done dealing with this. In his mind, I am now cancer free and there's nothing more to worry about. Sure there are the inconveniences of exchange surgery, nipples etc. But for me, I'm just not done. I don't even know what I'm not done with but I know, emotionally I'm not done. We were such a great team through diagnosis and and mastectomy and now I feel like I'm on my own. He tries to be supportive but he's moved on. Has anybody else gone through this?
This is not intended to be a bash on him, I'm okay with him being done because, for him, that's true but it's not for me and I feel so disconnected. I'm worried we won't reconnect.
Julie
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can i post pix of me even though i had the 1 step....
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Yes you can Shoshi.... ALL of us can post pictures no matter what we have had done... or if we choose no reconstruction.
Julie... (((((HUG)))))))))... MANY of us understand, My dh is moving on at my pace..but many dh's.. family members...and friends are moving on much faster... So many of them want us to just be ok and get back to the old way of life. Sweetheart... we will never get back to the old life 100%... because our old life did not have BC in it. BUT... the new us can be real close to the old us...:)... if we choose it to be.. or it can be much better!.... give yourself time to heal and grieve and get to know the real you.. the new you... YOU ARE GOING TO BE AMAZING! YES YOU ARE!
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Deborah - Let me go get my cards. I'll be right back.
Sonia
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Ok Deborah, I have it now. (Sorry for the confusion!) My implants are Natrelle 15-615. I hope this helps!
Sonia
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It's been awhile since I've posted, but have kept up reading. I had my exchange on 11/30/09. This weekend, my husband I noticed the right foob seems to be dropping and fluffing much better. The left one is a bit bigger, but I am so much more pleased. Judy - Dr. P.S. does not want us to wear any bra. I talked him into letting me wear the lace stretch bra from VS. It is cute and I'm ok with having something to wear now. Last week, I wore a very form fitting, lower cut blouse to work. I passed a client in the hallway and he said "looking good." I blushed and giggled the rest of the day.
Laura- blessings in getting off the meds. I got off almost everything awhile back--zoloft and ambien.
Jean-take care of yourself while you take care of your mom.
Nips on 4/30/10. Can't wait.
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Sonia:
Look at my numbers above. My same assessment still applies. I knew you had the Style 15....and the Style 20 in 750 cc's would have the same width you have now.....process that.....the same width....but with loads more projection. Pass this by your PS and see what he thinks. Cut and paste what I wrote above and take it in to him....
Julie: Oh DUH, DUH, DUH!!! Same boat here! Many of us in this boat paddling right along with you to be sure! I do not think it is uncommon for husbands and significant others to be ready to put a hitch in their get-along and take leave of "all the cancer stuff" - some long before we are ready to do so. I mentioned several months ago that my husband was telling people I am "CURED OF CANCER" and that I thought this was a bit dismissive originally, but I get it. It is his way of getting closure. So I just let it be...it is okay with me. It does not bother me at all to still have this focus and be involved in the cancer realm. I do not feel I have to share everything I am going through with my husband. But then again, I am so independent....sometimes too independent, so thinks my dearest hubby. So I process these things and continue on with certain things here on EC and with my friends who "get it" and with my sister. You will get to some point of understanding and acceptance that they do not always need to be on the same page as us - with something as uniquely personal as what has happened to us and to our bodies. It is just fine that you might need to take some select portions of this journey on your own...to carve out for yourself every shred of time you want and need to get to a place of healing and release. Hang in there and love him and reassure him that you are okay in all of this....
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Hey Everyone, well, had my third fill today and IT WAS MUCH BETTER!!! I was dreading it based on first two, but I was able to stay at work today and although uncomfortable, it was completely doable. Compared to the first two fills this was a piece of cake! So for those of you in the fill stage, there's hope for improvement. The PS nurse added 100cc to my LD flap side and 50cc to my proph. side to catch me up since I've been lower since surgery on my LD side. I am now at 410cc LD side and 440cc other.
Deborah, here's what I was able to learn at my appt. My PS nurse is not very forthcoming with info--she's nice, but focused on getting fills done. Anyway, she told me my TEs are Allergan SFV 12. She didn't have details w/ her but thought the 12 referred to width. TE capacity is 600cc which my PS plans to overfill to 750-800cc so I will wind up with 550-600cc implant. He thinks this will bring me to a small C. Previously I was 36B and not sure I want to go to C. He thinks because I am tall it would be aethetically a good fit. Hmmm...Also, measurement around my bra line is 34". That might be a little big since I have tubes for my fills under the skin which cross under my bra line. Oh, I asked what kind of implants my PS uses and nurse said Allergan or Mentor, round, smooth.
Deborah, would love to have your opinion. Hope I have enought info for you to do your magic! deekaay
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Thank you Deborah! I will definitely take this to the PS. He usually uses the style 15 but I'll convince him to use the 20's. I'll let you know what he says.
I really appreciate the time you have taken to walk me through this! Thank you again!
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deekay: Those numbers are somewhat close but not quite. I mean, it would be something like 133SV-12 - which would mean short height variable projection with a 12.0 cm width, but the fill would be around 250 cc's with a TE that narrow. There is no 12.0 cm width TE with a fill volume of 600 cc's. I don't know why you need to overfill 200 cc's to get into a 550 to 600 cc implant, but we can cross that bridge later. I presume your width is actually around 14.0 cm. So you would at least need a 600 cc implant in a Style 20.....to get to 14.0 centimeters of width. Remember...go a little larger than you think you want to be. If you are tall and have a 34 inch rib cage, I think 550 to 600 cc's sounds just fine and I think you would be happy in this size range. But I do need those TE details to really narrow down the dimensions.
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Julie ~
I think as awesome as my DH is...he is ready to move on. Sometimes he seems to not "get it" that I may be recovering physically but not totally emotionally. I don't think they get that part! He listens when I talk about how I feel but he only looks at it as I am cured...I look beautiful...it was caught early, etc. The part he doesn't get is the "mourning" process we go through each time we look at our new selves. Like Estepp said, we will never get back to our old life 100%...but it will get better!
Mary ~
Good to see you back! I'm a few days before you (exchange) & am back to wearing regular bras during the day & sports bra at night. I had been feeling down at times but putting on an actual bra lifted my spirits. Those sports bras do no justice..but they do feel comfy for bed! My aug. side has dropped/fluffed but my MX side has dropped ever so slightly. I see my PS this week & will see what comes next.
NAE
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Nedeza: I like the pic-it's nice to "see" you
. TCK
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Julie, I am going through the same thing with my DH, as well as some of my other family and friends. They're moving on, and I'm just lagging behind. I really like what Deborah says about this, and I'm going to try her advice. I've got to stop thinking of everything as being BC(before cancer) and AC(after cancer), as well as "those who were there for me" and "those who ditched me". I'm slowly working this out. I think it will be easier when I am truly done with reconn and post treatments.
It is wonderful to have a place like this to come and share with others who truly understand.
Thanks,
Deen
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Deen ~
My thoughts exactly!
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It's tough though -- sometimes I do feel like I've got some post-traumatic stress. Today I was sitting in the dentist chair, staring up at a poster on the ceiling, and flashed back to a similar poster on the radiation room ceiling. I'm sure my pulse started racing!
My DH was wonderful -- going with me to every appointment and postponing his own total knee replacement until I was to a point where I wasn't going to the doctor every week. By that point, we were both ready to reclaim our lives even though it's never going to be the same.
As for "those who ditched me", I'm not sure if I'll ever fully rekindle those friendships. I'm disappointed but I've moved on.
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Estepp, Deborah, NAE and TXBadBoob, Thanks, I needed to hear that. Deborah, beautifully said.
I'm okay with being in a different place than my DH, and I do completely understand that, for him, this is done. He cares about getting the new breasts but not enough to understand why I'm "obsessed" with it. In his mind, I'm still me--boobs or no boobs (obviously boobs are a bonus). I guess I'm kinda going through an emotional withdrawal. We are very close and have a great relationship but the bond between us in the beginning of this was so amazing and I guess I miss that and then I think, "Geez! I should be happy to be getting back to normal!". But as Estepp said, I don't even know what my new normal is yet so I guess I'm in limbo for now. Not easy for a control freak, but probably a good lesson for me. :-) Thanks for listening!
NAE, you are beautiful, I'm glad you got your picture up.
Julie
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Nedeza -- What a gorgeous picture! I agree it's so nice to see faces
I think I'm different than some of you in that I've told very few people about my BC and so have kept some at arms length that I used to hold closer (or at any rate see more often) for fear of having to explain the wig (in case they noticed it was a wig). So some I know think I'm just terribly busy but at this point are wondering if I hate them... but it's the choice I've made and it makes me more comfortable telling as few people as possible and dealing with it in this way. My BF has been great and also doesn't much care about the outcome (just glad I am surviving and have no more cancer); I remember at one point when I was agonizing about losing my breast he said "it's not like it's an arm" -- and while some might think it a callous statement, it actually was a great thing to hear at the time as it put it in perspective for me (it is NOT in fact an arm). I never showed him what my breast looked like after two lumpectomies (it was pretty hideous) but when I developed the redness/infection I did show him and he did not flinch (which was a relief) and basically told me I was wrong to worry about him seeing (I have been wearing t-shirts to bed since my second lumpectomy and then making sure to change when he is not in the room -- way too much work!) It's a relief to share that with him. He can now share in the fun of the transformation.
So I don't have friends who let me down -- I did not give them chance. For me telling as few as possible and going on with my life in as normal a way as possible has made all the difference in getting through this. As I'm sure I've said before, there have certainly been days of loss and crying and mourning; but for me it's a relief to go to work and interact with people normally (only a few know there).
Cheers,
Lilah
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Dani, I'm glad work went well for you. I will let you know next Monday how it goes for me. I think I will wear something similar to you. I'm not sure how I will take people staring at my chest, but it sounds like you handled it with grace.
I'm concerned with having enough stamina to make it a whole day, were you very tired when you got home?0 -
THERE'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS NAE! Good to see ya!
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Ladies, I can't tell you how much it means to me to not be alone. Here I was thinking my DH was being an unsensitive jerk, but after reading all the posts on the subject, I guess he's just male. I've figured out that if he couldn't fix it, he paid for a professional to fix everything, and now he's done. I'm cured, so let's get on with life. He's been a super friend through all this, supportive and loving so, I tell myself, what more could I ask? I guess it's been all about me for a full year now so I'm going to dream up something just for him. All I can say is, it's nice to know I"m not alone, so ladies, thanks for sharing.
Bobbi
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Bobbi, I'd love to hear what you come up with for your DH. I am frustrated that we aren't always on the same page but how in the world would I have done all of this without him. I've been trying to come up with a creative idea to say thank you but no good ideas yet.
Lilah, I chose to be very open from the get go thinking that it would make it easier. I think in a lot of ways it has been but there have been some drawbacks. I don't think anybody treats me differently, just those moments when a comment is not quite what I needed/wanted to hear at that moment. There's no right answer, it's just individual. After my BMX, I made a very clear point to look and have my DH look while I was still very drugged up. All I remember is him saying "That's not so bad" and I went back to sleep. If I hadn't done it that way, I would have been like you and taken months to let him see. I think I may do the same after the exchange. I do love the "it's not an arm" comment, it's a great reminder that this does suck but it could suck more. :-)
Julie
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Julie -- Yeah I'm glad I showed him the MX/TE site (it took the infection to get me to do it, so there was something good in that!) But believe me when I say the lumpectomy was awful (and probably part of the reason I don't miss/mourn the loss at this point).
Oh and BTW the redness is all gone!
Cheers,
Lilah
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A BIT OF A CHANGE IN TACTIC TO THE BREAST IMPLANT 101 THREAD:
I WILL answer questions posed on that thread. I think many will come to EC to post, but I now understand that some are overwhelmed by Exchange City. We have so many posts - the busiest thread on bc.org - and so many of us on a level of knowing one another - I think some newbies are feeling intimidated about posting. Just thought I would let you know.
NAE and FAIRPORT: Just love your pretty little faces!!!
Julie: We all need to get suckometers!
Deborah
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And that is not "suck-o-meter", it is "suck-om-iter"
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Julie ~ I am with you ~ this could suck more. And we do not have to wander far from this website to know that.
My constant prayer is that our surgeries, medications and treatments will prevent us from further attacks from %&#@#@! cancer (breast or otherwise)!!!!
I want to attend my granddaughter's graduation from college and wedding. She will be 2 in April.
xo Colleen
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Good Idea Deb...
I have gotten PM's saying that since I am not able to post as much.. here on EC... ( The Cheerleader-welcome wagon-prayer warrior-ummmm oh yeah....all around..." feel safe around girl".... ( THANK YOU LADIES !! YOU have made me feel so good)...... that it is harder to keep up........:)................. I PROMISE to try ladies... I love EC... my heart is hear.... and I do hear you....
Love: Laura
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