Exchange City
Comments
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I am sitting here reading all these posts and see the support and understanding you all have for me and each other and the tears just started flowing. As some have mentioned, at this point many of our supporters fall off. It's not that they don't care, it's just they don't understand.
I am not a vain person, but it is hard to lose your breasts. I feel such relief that someone is here to support me and understand that this whole nightmare is not over. I think many felt it ended after chemo ended and I should be fine.
I am so glad I found this topic. I just can't explain how I feel. It's like I have been trying so hard to be "normal" and strong and you have allowed me to feel what I need to feel.
Sorry to get all serious and gushy but I just wanted you all to know how glad I am to be here. I can't even talk to anyone about my exchange, they just don't seem to be interested. I didn't know how bad I needed to talk about it until I joined you all here. So THANK YOU!!!!
I am so happy for all of you having surgery next week. I know how excited you must be. One surgery at a time we will all get through this together!
(((((Hugs)))))
Susan
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Had my last pre-op appt with PS today before exchange on 17th. It went great, I feel really comfortable, and I can't wait!!!!!!! Have to share this here since you all understand.
don't think I've left the house w/o a scarf covering my chest for 4 months since my last fill. I think I'm never going to wear a scarf again!!! 0 -
Susan - I understand how you feel. I went through a difficult time with people not understanding what I was going through. They saw me look normal and act normal on the outside, but I didn't feel normal. I felt okay about my surgery, but this cancer stuff gets to you. And the pain with the TE's is hard (so are the TE's). Just as I started to feel "normal" I got hit with this stupid cancer thing again. Now my goal is to get normal again.
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I am so pulling for you kittycat. I can't imagine how you feel. It's just not fair!!! I hate this disease and I hate you got it again!
cs7777 throw that scarf away!! Lol! I am so happy for you!
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ALLIE~ thanks,you know how i feel then?! lol
I had never heard of fat grafting until my friend Michele told me she would be having it after her PBMX. Not sute they do it here in the UK. Will ask next when i get my next fill next week (if i remember!). Mind you,i saw some lipo on tv once and it looks AAAAWFUL!!! I bet it hurts when you wake up
Just back-tracking, i read that someone is getting filled to THREE times the impalnt size??? Thats seems alot. We also go about 1 fill past the eventual implant size. But i've also read that some PS's put a larger implant in that what the TE was too. That must feel very tight. And with a risk that when the skin shrinks back,it will deform the implant.
I'm trying to cram everything i want to say into this 1 post as i didn't realise you could only post 5 times in a 24 hour period! How odd!
well i'm hoping my exchange will be September time. And i can't wait.
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Thanks for all the great support on EC ladies! This thread is a God send!
Colleen, I laughed and laughed...I've been fearing bacon now since I'm sure I was poisoning myself with the nitrates. Of course, it could have been the bacon, or the tanning or the beer or the smoking or the stress or lotions with parabens and even just being a female with 2 legs....And I'm afraid of all those things now except beer!
Whoohoo!Koryn, I would love to see your jewelry! I'm love jewelry...I scored a pink ball for the Silpada ring on ebay and I can't wait to get it. Do you have a link?
Lilah, I'm so excited for you...just a couple more sleeps and you're done! What implants are you going for? Debrorah helped me select and I'm going with a #20 high profile gel 600 or 650...not sure which one he'll use but I trust he'll select the right size.
Marianne, Is it normal to have one last appt with the PS before the surgery? I didn't really. I had my 'inflation' as he calls it last Friday and no one made any mention of another appt. I spoke with his nurse about the hibiclens wash, the no ASA products, the pre ops etc but I just haven't had a my last few moments with him. I want him to reassure me! I know I wont have drains and I'm getting some mastopexy but I guess I'll wait until I'm in the OR to tell him I'm not sure about the fat grafting.
Well, off to the showers. Have a wonderful rainy Friday everyone!
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ps. Thanks Mykidsmom for taking the time to post my date on the board!
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Susan,
I will take the liberty to say that we ALL feel like you do. On this journey, we have all felt the same feelings at different times. This place is where we go when we are down to let the others pick us up. It is also where we go when we find a new fact and need to share it. You don't have to "explain" your feelings here. We ALL understand.
Kat,
Thanks for the PM and I will post those photo's here and on JM! Also, don't know if it is normal to have a last PS appt, but my PS does it that way. After the last fill, they make an appointment for 4 weeks out to determine which implants will be used, talk about the exchange surgery, answer any questions, etc. His staff was pretty good in setting the surgery date as well because they wanted to make sure that he was around for the 1 week post op appointment and then the 6 week appt after that.
And Hooter's does sell t-shirts (even to 62 year old grandmother's!
Mykidsmom, I ditto Kat's appreciation!
I am actually going to try and attach recent photo's of my "breast cancer" garden....Decided to choose all pink flowers this year and my neighbor surprised me with the Susan Komen flag (she bought it at Lowe's)!
Marianne
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Dear Kat, Lilah, Marianne and all,
I had soooo much anxiety before my exchange...much more than before my bmx. I tried to figure it out and the only conclusions I came to was this; the bmx was about getting the cancer cells out of my body...pretty cut and dry....once I had chosen the bmx is just about getting it over with. Then I had to learn to live with my not so friendly TE's thinking all I wanted was to get rid of the them and get yippee squishies
So why when the time came was I so freaked out. I think the bmx was about getting rid of cancer....the implants were about the future...they were about what I (we all) would face in the mirror every day...they would be there on the outside of our bodies...part of our life forever (if all went well). So the choices I made the understanding of those choices with the ps were about life ahead of me.....what if I made the wrong choices!? what if I hated them!? what if, what if, what if. Here's the good news......one week after the exchange I was not thrilled...I think I had seen so many beautiful boobies of others on this site I expected too much too soon...it was hard not to hope to look normal again and be patient. Now it's been almost two weeks and I'm warming up to "the girls". I can see a nice form starting to appear...not really that squishy yet...but I think it's going to be ok
So that's what I think provoked so much anxiety in me pre-exchange. The first surgery was about cancer.......the second surgery was about my life going forward.......it was scary
Happy Mothers Day to everyone, full of healing, surrounded by those you love. Andrew and I always go to White Flower Farm and pick a new plant for the garden.......Graham and his dad use to pick out something for me every Mothers Day....I now have so many beautiful plants that were chosen by my sweet boy.... Hug and kiss all your kids!
Strength healing and courage,
Laura2
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Marianne, love the garden! Thanks so much for posting the photos
m-star, different ps have different methods to accomplish the final look the patient wants. My ps likes to overfill a bit before the exchange and then put a implant in slightly smaller than the last fill, hopefully this creates a more natural "hang" :0) It depends on the final goal
Judy you amaze me....healing prayers.
Kittycat...still crossing fingers for good lab results...enjoy your weekend!
Sally this is a wonderful place to be understood....wonderful women here..hugs to you
Val! Happy Nips to you!
cs777 congratulations...your almost there!
Hope I haven't forgotten anyone....two days away from the lists and I'm lost =/
Healing to all,
Laura2
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Marianne, love the garden.... I am inspired to plant all pink this year too!
Kat, about the fat grafting... I personally, would go for it, I am in the position now of having to decide when to do it.... I figure if they get the approval before the end of May, I might do it now, otherwise I'll wait until after summer, but if you are having surgery already why not let them heal together. Just my opinion, and having said that, if you are still having doubts about it, call his office and tell them that you'd like one last consult with him before your surgery, maybe they can squeeze you in today or maybe even have a phone consult. I'm sure that you will be absolutely beautiful!!! I'm so excited for you! As far as your new found fear of bacon and the other things.... I have to say that I do not fear the bacon or the beer! I am trying to cut back on the bacon due to my ever increasing waste line, but I just don't fear it! lol! Have you received your Hooter's shirt yet? Still waiting for that picture!
Have a great day ladies, I'm off to clean my disgustingly dirty house (apparently I fear cleaning products!!!! hahahaha!!!)
Paula
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Kat- After my last fill I didn't see my PS until 4 weeks later in the pre-op room. I think it is better if they do an appt before your surgery so you can ask any last many questions and make sure you are both on the same page but it seems like every PS is different.
Got a question for you girls who have already had an exchange. I had mine almost 3 weeks ago and last night I was so tired of the sports bra that I thought I would lay in the bed for a little while without it. I noticed without the bra on my boobs migrated just a little towards my armpits and caused a "caved" in area on both sides of my sternum. Is that normal? I found it a little creepy and put my bra right back on. Just wondering if I should mention it to my PS on Tues or if that is just the "new normal" because of all the tissue being removed. Also, have been noticing ripples when I lean forward, like when brushing my teeth but they go away after a few seconds when I stand back up. Also normal??
Thanks!
Becky
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Becky, I am only 3 weeks out myself, but I'm afraid that yes that is normal. I have heard a lot about the rippleing and I have noticed some myself. I think that some women end up having revisions because of the rippleing and possibly bigger implants, if I recall from my reading. As far as the breast falling to your armpits.... I'm assuming that you mean they did that when you were laying on your back? And if so, I'm thinking that it would be fairly normal, gravity and all, but might be something that you should mention to PS just so he is aware... As far as the concave thing, not sure exactly where you are talking about, but I have divots above both of my breasts from where they scraped all of the breast tissue out and the implants don't go up that far, my PS calls them step offs and that is what he is planning on filling in with the fat grafts. Mine show up all the time though, not just when laying without a bra, so not sure if it is the same thing that you are talking about. I'm sure that someone with a little more time under their belts will chime in soon! But I would say talk to your PS about anything that concerns you, because even if it is normal, doens't mean that you have to live with it...
Have a great day!
Paula
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Hi Ladie's,
My name is Dee and I had my exchange surgery on April 7th ,1 month ago today.I was in an ace wrap for the first 5 days and didn't get to see the results.After 5 days the PS unwrapped me and I was so unhappy. I looked ,to me, horrible.I sat there thinking ,I went through all this to look like this!I I guess I was thinking I would be unwrapped and look normal right away,Man was I thinking wrong.That day I cried all the way home.I took pics 6 days post op and again at 16 days post op and again last night. You would truly be amazed at the difference in 1 short month. I emailed the pics to Deborah,the breast whisperer.She is amazed as I am in the difference 1 short month has made.I don't know how to post them or I would and I can no longer get on the picture forum. I was able to once but it will not let me sign in again.I want to tell you ladie's I was so unhappy BUT am now SO HAPPY with the results. I had a lot of loose skin on the sides and bottom and it has filled in quite nicely,a little still on the sides, but nothing like at first.I have a couple divots that the PS said he can fill in with fat when he makes my nipples.I try and keep thinking that the PS started from scratch to work with and now I look this good.I look competely normal in my clothes. you would never know if they were not so perky(LOL).My neighbor(a BC suvivor) commented this week how normal they look.Please if you are not happy with your results at first,give it a little time. My new foobs are changing daily for the better..I was all set in my mind of having a revision BUT now that seems so premature.I am getting happier each day . I started using mederma this week and you can see the difference already in the redness and fading of the scars. I am a small lady 5ft 1 in and 112 pounds and I was expanded to 400CC's in the expanders and changed out for 325CC mentor smooth rough high profile silicone implants. I was a full 34 C cup pre-MX and now can still fit nicely in most of my old bra's.I was aiming for a B cup but am happy to be back to close to my old size.I LOVE LOVE LOVE the not sagging part most of all.
Dee
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Becky, keep an eye on that because that's the rippling that may need to be "touched up" at some point in the future.
Judy: hope that seroma re-absorbs! Close your eyes and visualize the blood cells scampering off.
Sort of off topic, but I'm in a real "I hate this disease, Warrior Princess" mood today. Just this week, we lost 2 friends and one of our dogs to cancer. This makes three dogs in a row lost to cancer. So far, we've been robbed of ever losing one to old age.
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There's a very postive forum here called loving my new breasts. I know we don't all, but reading it might help! Koryn, you might want to read Maggie's last post there (yeah Maggie!) It might make you think about getting nips! I know I am, I think it makes a difference, and hopefully will hide the scar.
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/44/topic/749764?page=5#idx_146
There is a Susan Komen fundraising decorator tag sale in my area next week, sounds like a lot more fun than my old days of trying to win the race!! LOL!
So much great support here is right, thank you all for opening up and sharing what we are going thru. I think of all of you so often, have a great day. The sun is out here
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Texas, I'm sorry.
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Finally figured how to attach the photo. The yard flag (which was a gift from my neighbor -- lover her!) came from Lowe's!
Marianne
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Marianna- So beautiful. Love the bright color of pink!
Becky
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Beautiful! I have the same variety petunias! Love them!
Deen
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Marianna love your flowers and flag...beautiful. Also I see you live in Maryville , Tn. Such a beautiful town. We go through there every time we go to Gatlinburg and I always tell my husband how I would love to live there.
Dee welcome and it is so nice to hear about how even though everything may not look like we are expecting right after exchange, that it does get better. Thank you for sharing that with us. It sure helped me with my exchange coming up.
Also glad to see I am not the only one getting the fat grafting done. What I do not understand is why some need it and some don't. Does anyone know what happens to some of us that causes the indentions and "caved in" appearance? Is it just that our surgeons took out more tissue than others? I would love to hear any ideas.
I also wanted to add my thanks to mykidsmom for adding me to the list and maintaining it for all of us.
Texas357 I am sorry about your losses. I know how you feel....I hate this cancer stuff. I just lost my Uncle 3 weeks ago to lung cancer, took one of my oldest and dearest friends to chemo Wed for bc treatment, and just learned one of my other friends has thyroid cancer. What the heck is going on?
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I guess its not the appearance of my new breast that I am unhappy with but rather the numbness, lack of feeling, no nipple, not a part of my sexuality any longer....all of that. It is like an illegal alien walking around passing off herself as the real thing and everybody believes she's real! In a way that sort of angers me because I do believe that the general public has this misconception that breast cancer patients just get new perky boobs (thanks to Christina Applegate's comments on Oprah) and it's simply not true. The perky part, maybe, but did she tell anybody that she can't feel them? That is she bumps into the cabinet door that got left open in her kitchen she can't feel a thing and could even injur herself and not even know it? Did she tell anyone that she cannot be sexually stimulated anymore? Ever? Not there, anyways...you get my point. It's been 10 months since my exchange. I still feel the way I did then about it. Maybe I am just at the grief process part they call anger....and maybe one day I'll get to "acceptance"?? Maybe. I can hope.
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Koryn ~ Amen. I am with you and the anger about no feeling comes and goes. It comes during every Cialis/Viagra commercial and then goes when I am busy or at work. Am allowing myself to have 1 full minute of thinking about it when it happens and then move on. Don't want to become bitter and let it eat me up. Hugs!
Colleen
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Koryn, I'm not so angry about the numbness because I was fully warned about that. But almost 3 mos. post exchange I have continued discomfort - more at the end of the day - and that I'm not thrilled about. I know that my doctors downplayed that pain I'd experience during and after the expansion/exchange. On the one hand, I can't really fault them - they wanted the DCIS out of me and telling me I'd look pretty good afterward helped me to go ahead with the mx. On the other hand, I wish I'd known more about the discomfort. It seems like a lot of women don't have discomfort and I'm hoping it will go away with time. I like having curves again, just wish they were easier for me to have...
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Kristinka- I am only 3 weeks post exchange but I still have a lot of discomfort too. I don't really get why they can be numb to touch but yet you still have discomfort. At the end of the day and each morning when I first get up they are kinda achey. I am glad they are squishier then the TEs but I was hoping the discomfort would be gone once the TEs were out and it isn't. I think our surgeons don't really understand the "whole package". They just think- oh, they look good everything should be hunky dory but nope not really for us. I guess I should have realized that when my PS said nipples were basically just decorations. Maybe for him.
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Ladies, how would you describe the discomfort in greater detail? Does your body ache in certain areas? Is this something that may go away eventually? I can't answer this as I am still in TE's.
Koryn, my real breasts were TOO sensitive to the touch. I actually did not like being touched because my sensitivity in that area was intense. I had difficulty nursing my babies, but I did it anyway. So to make a long story short, I don't miss the numbness. I am starting to get feeling back around the foobs, especially the sternum area.
Hello to everyone else!
Brenda
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brenda, it's mostly just achiness across the chest muscles and along the lower bra line that advil can take care of. I know my muscles still get tight, so I have to do my arm circles and wall stretches every day. It's 1000 times better than the TEs. At times an excellent bra makes me feel really good and I can forget about the implants. At other times, I'm all too aware that they are there. I've always been a wuss with pain, though!
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Finally got my pictures up on the pic forum.
Once again, thanks to all you who have previously put pictures up. It is such a help to get an idea of how things can look!
Becky
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I'm so excited...I just got my date for exchange- 6/3!!!!
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