Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
-
Betrayal, glad I peeked in on this thread again! Fabulous pictures! THANK YOU so much for sharing them with us!
0 -
Betrayal, the Tetons in winter are spectacular! Summer 2021 Gordy & Leslie went there for her sister's wedding in the chapel inside the Nat'l Park.
Petite, yay for good labs. Boo for car breakdowns. Glad you have road service. I've noticed Jeeps don't have a stellar reputation for reliability. I can imagine you in the truck: Bob's just-retired medical partner is just shy of 5'0" and drives a huge Ram pickup; she calls it her "equalizer" because while she's in it she feels as if she's of "normal" height. She had to have a flip-up stair installed so she can get into it, though.
Mary, if you decide to get those bed-riser blocks (you can get either 4" or 6") it will be a game-changer. You won't have to sleep with your feet dangling off the end of the bed. There's also a portable rail you can put at your bedside to help you get in & out--I bought one so Bob could get up & out of the ancient deflated leather IKEA couch in our den, which we finally replaced with a couple of Mission-style recliners. It's pretty stable, with large "feet" on either side that hold it rock-steady, with padded top and middle handles. I'll be in Madison in May--maybe we can meet halfway and I can give it to you. (I got it on Amazon, where I also got the bed-blocks). I would also strongly urge you not to try and rehab yourself at home after the surgery: if you don't have a good rehab facility that handles more ortho post-op than memory-care patients, can you get some household help? I know Medicare pays for visiting nurses & physiotherapists at least every other day (the nurse is necessary to check not only your vitals but also to do a blood draw or finger-stick to check your INR (coagulation) and fine-tune your dose of anticoagulant--which you will have to take for at least 4 weeks post-op to prevent blood clots.
We had wild weather overnight from about 2am till 11. Heidi was spooked by the thunder and came to knead, snuggle, and head-butt; and Happy even left his radiator (where he'd spent a solid 10 hrs) to seek solace from me (see next post). There were even a tornado or two spotted in Champaign & the far SW and W suburbs--but nothing touched down except a possible microburst in the Joliet area. Bright sunshine now.
0 -
Happy ate well yesterday and this morning, though he slept on the radiator cover from 8pm all the way through this morning. He got up during the worst of the thunder just before the vet called; he climbed on to the bed, stood on my chest & shoulder, and extremely slowly lowered himself into the "meatloaf" (paws tucked under) position for me to kiss his neck. Then when he tried to turn around, he fell off onto the floor and slunk away. I was sure that this was "it," but after I hung up with the vet, he came downstairs as I was about to feed Heidi, cried for food, and even tried to climb the cabinet as I dished it out. He had seconds and Heidi's temporary leftovers (I had to give her seconds and guard her dish from him).
The vet will see him at 2:30 and examine him to see if there are any "Hail Mary passes" we can try to help him hold on without suffering, but she doesn't feel optimistic. If kidney failure and intermittent anorexia were his only problems, then sub-cu fluids and appetite-stimulant gel could give him a decent few weeks or even months--we kept our previous almost-20-yr-old alive & feisty starting when he was about Happy's age with every-other day hydration, but except for a brief spinal stroke, kidney failure was all he had. But Happy has, as the vet puts it, a "double-whammy" of early kidney failure plus advanced IBD that is now probably intestinal lymphoma--successfully managing his kidneys would not prevent his vomiting & diarrhea. She thinks I was wise to make that Lap of Love appointment for tomorrow. He is the youngest cat I've had to deal with end-of-life issues (and if someone unfamiliar with him were to look at him they wouldn't think he was that sick). But he weighed nearly 9 lbs a year ago, and is probably barely 6 lbs. today. He's been losing 1/4-1/2 lb. a week lately. Our HK (his "other mom") will come with us today, and I told her to be frank & honest with the vet about her ability & willingness to deal with his digestive troubles and hydration for the time we'll be away. I told her not to hold back and try not to be a "people pleaser," especially considering what she's going through with her DH (who refused to go to dialysis today because it was storming out).
The bed dried out--but the vomit stain penetrated through the mattress cover into the mattress itself. It's a 20-yr-old Tempur-Pedic that Bob feels is sagging. So when we return from NOLA we will get a new bed--a split-king with power base. Gonna be tricky getting the old one and frame hauled away--and finding an outlet for the power base (which current outlet is powering two cordless phone extensions, one on either nightstand), a clock radio and my Qi charging pad (for Apple Watch, iPhone and AirPods). Our house suffers from a dearth of wall outlets.
0 -
petite1: glad your labs were good. Hope repairs to Jeep are reasonable.
Mary: sleeping across the foot of your bed doesn't seem like it would be comfortable. Is this the only way you can sleep post-op? Do you have help with Tippy? Will your cousin be able to assist you?
MM: I called to catch up with my BFF and it ended up being nearly 2 hours on the phone as we exchanged events over the past 2 months. She lost her DH just about a year ago and told her 22 year old cat, Ichi, that he could not die for many months because she could not deal with 2 deaths at once. Well, Ichi crossed the Rainbow Bridge last Sunday and while she is sad at his loss, she is happy that he delayed his leaving until she could deal with another death. She's been feeding a feral cat for several years and Susie decided she likes being a house cat with outdoor privileges now.
Sandy: Happy is not making this easy for you but I think the vet will be able to sort it out for you. I have a bed with a power base and love it. I can raise both my head and my feet as needed. It's very comfortable.
Carol: Glad your DH was able to get relief from his edema. I am sure the temps in your area is causing an exacerbation.
Karen: hope lab values are explained to your satisfaction and that treatment is easy.
Jackie: Glad DSIL and DD were able to get home.
This is not the message I posted earlier that I lost, but a sad attempt at trying to recreate it. Hope everyone has a good day.
0 -
Jackie - so nice that you’re watching your friends pets. Mavericksmom - nice that you were able to catch up with your college roommate. It’s always fun to catch-up with old friends. Petite - glad you got good lab results. Karen - hope you get answers soon. Betrayal - the photos are amazing. Looks like another wonderful trip. Hope everyone else is doing well and have a wonderful day.
0 -
Oh, no, I will be sleeping with my head at the foot of the bed. Sandy, the bed is now 24 inches top to floor. I think that is plenty. I don't think a transfer in Madison would work, given how uncooperative my sister has gotten. My family will help, and I was assured today that my parish family will help too.
0 -
One of my all-time favorites:
If seeds in the black earth can turn into such beautiful roses, what might not the heart of the human become in its long journey toward the stars?
Gilbert Keith Chesterton
0 -
It was just a thought, Mary. (I've been up in the Mauston/Black River Falls area, but with an unhappy memory: I got my first & only speeding ticket up there en route to Minneapolis, while massively pregnant. But I was able to get it dismissed because my due date was the trial date--and the trooper said he wouldn't come to court).
Dr. Metzger examined Happy, and said that treating him further would be "like putting Band-Aids on shrapnel wounds." He howled in obvious pain when she palpated his abdomen, and was uncharacteristically quiet in his carrier--in the car he merely meowed faintly instead of his usual "NOOO! HOME! I WUV OO!" She said we gave him a good life and is fully supportive of our decision to give him a peaceful transition. She used Lap of Love herself when her own pet bunny was at the end of its life. She said to spoil him and let him eat whatever he wants. We did when we got home--though he ate seconds and tried to eat Heidi's leftovers, he turned his nose up at the dollop of cream I poured; he usually jumps up on the counter and begs when he sees me take the container out for making cappuccino.
Turns out that the two tornadoes in the burbs did touch down after all: one in Naperville and the other along the Plainfield/Joliet city line. Downed trees & fences, airborne patio furniture, but no injuries or major structural damage.
0 -
Good to hear there were no serious losses, including life during the tornadoes, Sandy. Also very glad that you were able to consult with Dr. Metzger as I do think it is reassuring to feel that we aren't acting too soon. Most people tend to hold out more for a bit too long. You will be able to know that all possible was done or tried. Helping Happy to his peace while difficult, is the right thing.
Mary sounds like you will be able to get some good help. Someone else mentioned (sorry I've forgotten) that it will be the pits at first but hopefully a marvel when you are up and about afterwards. True that time heals a lot of things that seem so difficult and un-wieldy at first.
Betrayal, glad your friend has Susie to spoil after her losses. Guess we know why Susie was put there. A true need being fulfilled. The pictures were magnificent. There is something about the wild in winter. There is something peaceful about the wild.
Carole it is good to hear that Dh is better. I hope he can find a good Dr. to help with a good long-range solution. Is the heat and mugginess a bit early there or maybe normal for your area. Sort of wonder if there is a plateau to our global changes and when that will come. The weather has been so rough in many places the past few yrs. We notice a lot of difference here since we got back home in '97.
Maverick, I'm always thinking about you. You sound well prepared and ready to take on the challenges of retirement and an operation too. Sending sunshine your way.
0 -
Well, news was not good at the hematologist. He is worried about my calcium being high and quite annoyed with the endocrinologist who put me on calcium. He is also worried about multiple myeloma as one of the light chains has risen significantly. He's also concerned because of the stress fracture in my foot (which is not healed yet). So I am scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy Wednesday morning and see the endocrinologist in the afternoon. Also need to schedule appointment with PCP sooner than later. The hematologist was going to call the endocrinologist and give the you know what!!! He must have called as someone from the practice called after I made the appointments saying the endocrinologist wanted me to come in for labs this week!!! I told her I had just made an appointment for Wednesday afternoon. Hematologist moved my appointment from the Wednesday the 1st to today as he is concerned about the labs. He feels that I need xray of my bones and he is considering putting me on Xgeva - it is the same a Prolia but given monthly. He doesn't think I have hyperparathyroidism as my PTH is not so elevated. My head was spinning when I left. His nurse was in for the appointment and as we were done, I asked her what my next steps were and she said, I'm taking you to schedule the bone marrow biopsy. Thankfully DH was with me. He figured it would be another boring appointment. Well, it was far from boring.
I was numb by the time I got to work - couldn't think straight. Needed to help deal with some behaviors and didn't get to look at my calendar so forgot something but no one was upset or concerned about it. I spoke with the principal and she is so understanding. She asked how she and the rest of the wellness team could support me, then gave me a big hug. This is only my third week covering and she told me that I fit right in and she is glad that I'm there covering. I'm supposed to have my mid year conversation with my evaluator tomorrow but I might have to reschedule it as it is when I have recess/lunch duty. I was going to have the intern cover it for me, but she tested positive for Covid and will be out tomorrow.
Sorry for rambling - I guess it tells you the state of my mind. My DH is so amazing. He has been through so much with me. I go back to the hematologist on the 13th to get results of the bone marrow biopsy. Just need to know what I'm facing, if I'm facing anything serious as once I know what the game plan is, I can deal with it.
Sweet dreams.
0 -
((((((((((((((((Karen)))))))))))) Definitely try to clear your mind and get some rest. It is true that you need answers so you can sort through things properly. Glad you do have your #1 person by your side.
0 -
Sending you a virtual hug Karen.
0 -
Prayers for you, Karen.
0 -
Sandy, I’ll be thinking of you and Happy all day. Going to a funeral for DS Tony’s father in law at Shalom Memorial Park. He died a miserable death at the Whitehall. You will be making it so much better for Happy with Lap of Love and at the right time for him. You and Bob have been his wobnderfully good caring humans.Peace
0 -
More hugs for you, Karen. Your post left my head spinning.
Beautiful pictures, Betrayal. We really like the Tetons. Big Boobs. We visited Jackson Hole but probably wouldn't go back.
We had surprise overnight guests. DH told me that a couple we know in MN would be stopping by. They spent a month in FL and were returning home. I wondered about their travel route. We talked about going out to lunch with them. They got here about 2:30. After visiting a while, they both got up to go out to the car and bring their luggage in. We surmised at that point that they were planning to spend the night.
We went out to an early dinner instead of to lunch. Fortunately I had cleaned the hall bathroom a couple of days ago and the bed in the guestroom is always made up but the sheets had been on the bed for several years since dh's brother had visited.
Guy was up at 4:30 and turned the coffee pot on. I heard it dripping since our bedroom is adjacent to the kitchen/dining area. I got up about 6:30 and they were out of here at 7, ready to get on the highway. DH and I chuckled at the experience, which was a new one for us.
0 -
Joy is what we are, not what we must get.
Joy is the realization that all we want or need in life
has been etched into our souls.
Joy helps us see not what we are "going through,"
but what we are "growing to"--a greater sense of
understanding, accomplishment, and enlightenment.
Joy reveals to us the calm at the end of the storm,
the peace that surpasses the momentary happiness of pleasure.
If we keep our minds centered on joy, joy becomes a state of mind.
Iyanla Vanzant0 -
What a difference a day makes. We seem to be nearly windless although there will be some light wind. The sun it out bright for now although I'm not sure it will stay. I've had coffee, made my bed, got dressed and cleaned for the day and have a load of laundry going as well as the cat boxes ( two inside) cleaned and ready to finish here and go make breakfast -- then out to Dr. Bs to visit with the puppies. I don't usually get so much accomplished before 9:30 a.m.
Carole, what a surprise. Sort of makes me think of Dh who often seems to extrapolate on conversations and hears things no one else seems to have heard. Fortunate that you were pretty much prepared for the event. They seemed to have felt welcomed enough to rise early and start the coffee. I'm not sure I'd do that. I'd likely be a sport and wait for the 'whole' household to be ready and wakeful. I think I'd be finding an invite which may not have been ALL that much of an invite rather perplexing and amusing all at the same time too -- but only in that it didn't sound too troublesome. Here hoping there is not a repeat when least expected.
Thinking of all of you and hoping you all have a really good Monday.
0 -
Karen: sorry to hear the news and am offering comfort and hugs. Your message had me reeling so I can only imagine your distress. I do want to mention that we are all here for you as support in addition to your loving DH.
Carole: I had to laugh at your experience with the couple you knew from MN. A little odd to say the least: lunch morphs into dinner and a place to stay? I love Jackson Hole and have been there several times in the summer but this was our first winter experience. It has changed so much since our last visit. Best homemade huckleberry ice cream and homemade hot fudge at a place called Moos.
Sandy: will be thinking of you today when Happy crosses the Rainbow Bridge. I am hoping that if there is an afterlife, I will be able to reconnect with all those pets I have loved and who have passed on. I wish the same for you.
Here are a few more photos from Jackson Hole.
Trumpeter Swans
Difficult to see but Big Horn Sheep
Petroglyphs outside DuBois, WY0 -
A few more.
Inside the elk Refuge.
Sleigh ride inside Elk Refuge.
These children had unicorn helmets on and the little girl with the tutu on was an absolute whiz on skis. There was a third one who was even smaller than these 2 (no more then 7 years old) and she too was a whiz on skis. It was fun to watch them. 0 -
Karen, (((((big cyber hug)))) Deep breath, you can do this! One step at a time. I understand the home/work balance which is thankfully becoming more and more accepted in our society! It is so hard to juggle health issues and work, especially your line of work, but your co-workers and Principal sound like mine, appreciative of what I did and extremely understanding of my health issues. I retired, which wasn't my preferred plan, because I couldn't do the juggling any more. That said, it was my choice, my principals and co-workers couldn't have supported me more! They were wonderful!
The bone marrow biopsy can be rough, but I am sure you will be in great hands and like most breast cancer survivors, you are tough! My feeling on all things health wise is that if something is wrong, it's wrong, whether I acknowledge it or not. I prefer to deal with all health problems head on and with gusto!
Everyone here understands your confusion as we have all gone through it many times. Totally normal and understandable! Knowing we need to relax and calm down is easier said than done, but look at it this way, the experience gives you a deeper understanding of what your students are going through. I don't say that lightly. Everything we go through has a purpose.
You are lucky to have things done sooner than later as the waiting is the hardest part!
You've got this!!!
0 -
Beautiful pictures, betrayal.
Hugs for you, Sandy.
Carole, I wouldn't tolerate a rerun. Send them a letter to arrive when they get home, saying that surprise overnight stays, using you as a free motel, are rude and an imposition. Even motels usually expect a reservation.
We are all with you, Karen.
I went to the gym today, had to do several other things while waiting for one of the recumbent bikes to be free. Just woke up from a 1 1/2 hour nap. Put some Voltaren gel on the back of my knee before the nap.
0 -
Great pictures betrayal. What a hoot Carol. I've never had that happened with unexpected stay overs. Wonder if they'll send a thank you note. Are you all set for you exchange surgery Mavericksmom? I know I really looked forward to getting rid of the expander. Hope all goes well.
Thinking of you today Sandy as Happy crosses over the rainbow bridge.
Had a great REIKI session followed by PT. Next time I need to do it the other way around. Took a wonder walk around the neighborhood. It was warm, but breezy. So nice to be outside. Going in for bloodwork tomorrow. My BUN creatinine ratio was high so they want to repeat the test to see it was an anomaly. Maybe I was dehydrated?
Enjoy your evening.
0 -
Cardplayer, YES, I am VERY ready for the exchange surgery! I am tired of having one reconstructed breast that feels so real and one that feels like a hockey puck! I had my EKG today, made a stop at a grocery store to pick up a few last minute items and filled the car with gas. Tomorrow I will wash my bedsheets, dust and vacuum and wait for them to call and tell me what time to arrive fo surgery on Thursday!
Carole, your unexpected guests were lucky because my guest room often has piles of things on the bed since we are still rearranging things upstairs! At least you have a funny story to tell!
Sandy, thinking of you and hoping Happy had a peaceful journey over the rainbow bridge.
0 -
(((Karen))), piling on to the group hug. Hoping for the best--and that your treatments going forward are easy on you and good for a long, long time.
The Lap of Love vet left an hour ago. If I had any doubts that it was time, Happy's demeanor this morning dispelled them. He moved slowly & painfully, livening up only when food was in the offing. But you could see it in his eyes, and his inability to find a comfy position to sit or stand. He was quiet until he realized how many of us were with him--one of whom was a stranger. He squirmed and howled and tried to attack us when we wrapped him in a towel in his play-box, but after the first half of the first shot kicked in he drifted off peacefully, accepting the final shot without resisting. The vet was compassionate & caring. I hope that in the afterlife now, Happy is gleefully pestering Matthew (our oldster who never wanted to play). We're giving Heidi extra love now.
0 -
I'm a little sad this afternoon Sandy, but even with the feel of tears behind my eyes another part of me feels good to know that Happy is able to romp around now in kitten type fashion with no pain and no holds barred. I'm glad you still have Heidi to fuss over.
I wish that Lap of Love Vet service was everywhere, but we don't know of anyone here. We do though insist on going in and being with our pet when we have to help any of our loved ones out of life so they don't continue to suffer.
We are finally beginning the search for another companion dog for Minnie. She seems happy enough, but seems only fair in this house of felines to have at least someone who looks and smells like another dog. We have resigned ourselves to the possibility of having to buy a puppy since the people we have contacted so far say they only usually get big dogs in, so I think we will end up with a puppy. Do hope though we can get a breed that settles into sort of quiet after puppyhood is over.
0 -
Sending hugs, Karen and Sandy.
0 -
Thanks everyone. Hematologist's office called to tell me that Calcium level came down, though still elevated and kidney function was better. So that is good news. Still lots of questions for the Endocrinologist. Scared and worried about the bone marrow biopsy. I know that I will face and run with whatever is put in front of me. My DH has said a few times in the past couple days that there is so much going on with me. Yup, he's right and he has been there every step of the way. We are approaching his 3rd anniversary of his open heart surgery. We are so lucky that it was caught when it was and how great he is doing. Hopefully, we can grow old together.
MM - I'm not ready to retire just yet. I still love what I do and I promised DD#2 that after this year 2 more years. As long as I feel good enough I will keep that promise. I've been very lucky this year with this float assignment. This is only my 3rd week at the school and I feel like I've been there forever. It is really a good fit. They are happy to have me, even with all the time I'm missing. I spoke with my evaluator today to fill in her and cancelled my mid year conversation that was supposed to be today. She is going to send me a few dates to choose from, knowing that they might have to change.
MM - good luck on Thursday
Sandy - so nice to hear that the vet was so compassionate and that Happy is no longer suffering. I'm sure you miss her already.
Betrayal - it's been decades since we've been to Jackson Hole and the Grand Tetons. We were there on our honeymoon and it was the first time I had been west of the Mississippi. DH had been there in high school mountain climbing.
Snow is back in the forecast for tomorrow into Thursday - don't remember when it is supposed to start, but at least it won't be as bitter cold as last week.
Sweet dreams.
0 -
I have a 9:50 appointment at the drivers license renewal place to renew my license. I'm hoping I don't have to take a written test. I tried renewing online but I didn't receive the letter offering that option, as I did four years ago.
After the appointment I may drive to a plant nursery that is a little distance north to buy rose fertilizer for the knockout roses that I bought from the nursery a year ago. All five of the plants have survived but they need a boost.
The summer like weather continues. The azaleas and bridal wreath are in bloom. The pollen is full strength. Ka-Choo!
DH swears that he had no clue that Guy and Kris intended to spend the night. It was all ok. Thankfully, I had the house reasonably clean.
Sandy, I hope you enjoy the NOLA visit. You won't be driving your car so you won't have to worry about the carjacking that seems to have become a sport with some teenagers in NO. Since you live in Chicago, you're city wise and know about city crime. I might mention that one of our favorite restaurants in NO is Mandina's on Canal Street. It has delicious oyster and artichoke soup and turtle soup, also delicious poboys. It's a place where locals eat and also some celebrities. We have a Mandina's here on the north shore but we don't think it's as good and doesn't have the same atmosphere.
Happy Wednesday to everyone and hugs to those who need support.
0 -
Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
Brené Brown0 -
Sunny out today and likely to get up to 70 degrees. Right now that just means 'pollens' in the air -- just like Carole has. I am grateful though that winter seems to be well over. It will be worrisome for a couple of months since it is typically a time for tornadoes to pop up.
I wonder if some things have changed at the DL Bureau since Covid. Last time I renewed, I had gotten a letter which said I could wait a few months w/o penalty for my renewal. Since we live in such a small town I chose to go ahead thinking the lines would not be long and they weren't. Probably a good thing since I was old enough that they had me go out driving for the test. First time for me. Had I known it was going to happen I'd have been on needles and pins for days. Far as I know here in our town, you normally only have to take the written test if you get a ticket some something. Otherwise, it seems that at the age of 75 you start having to drive each time you renew. Knock on wood, I've never had a ticket and only been stopped once since I got my license the very first time, as we moved to a new city at the time. So, just a 'warning' then.
Maverick we will all be in your pocket tomorrow with lots of healing vibes and well wishes going on.
I have a couple more days of dog sittings to go through. The little ones are such fun. I take them out back to the play yard and I've decided they are actually goats. All they seem interested in is gnawing on grass fronds.
Hope you all have a good day.
0
