Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Just spoke to DGD and she is in tears, she wants to come home to us. I just do not know what will happen. Our home study and references are great, State of Tx has said she should come here, but the
State of FL has the final say. Anyway if you want to know what we are dealing with Google Judge Marci
Goodman, First District Court, Santa Rosa County, FL. You will be amazed.\
Take Care
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Carole ... $50! ... congratulations
mommarch, hope DGD gets sent to you ... hopefully, Texas will/can help ... hopefully DGD's age will give her a say in her placement ... my fingers are crossed for you all.
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Mommarch, well that's a terrible situation. How soon until the judge rules?
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Chevy and Sandra. I'm surprised I haven't bumped into you at the Vermont Country Store. Blackjack gun makes me remember my grandmother. Love the looks of the Lanz gowns. We had to get blocks of ice for the icebox at our summer cottage, use an outhouse, and bathe in the Finnish sauna and lake. I still live in that past in my dreams. My mom always bought me an orange sherbet at the local diner. It was quite a few years later that I found out it could be purchased anywhere other than Redgranite Wisconsin.
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Mommarch, I'm not surprised at anything in family court! We have a neighbor gal, formerly married to an abusive cop, family court judge took custody away from her , granted it to him. She has not done anything to deserve that and is appealing. But I have gone to court with her and cudn't believe some of the actions this judge did!
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Bonnets, I hate those custody stories! Even in the court system it's often connections that count.
Mommarch, my sympathy for your situation with your DGD. I hope it gets resolved for your peace of mind and your DGD's benefit. It's so maddening to deal with any bureaucracy.
Jackie, a friend bought one of the steam cleaners and swears by it. She has a lot of tile floor and 3 Yorkies living in the house and is super clean. Lazy me, I use a microfiber dust mop on my wood floor and then the squirt mop thingie whose name escapes me. Actually it's not a solid wood floor but I can't think of that word either!
DH just left to go the gym. I'm skipping my workout and doing yard work instead. Have 20 bales of pine straw piled up outside for mulching flower beds. And more pruning to do. Will only make a dent in the work but a dent is better than no progress.
Happy Thursday.
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There is so much beauty around us, if we will only take the time to
notice it. You can make a conscious
effort to look for the essence and therefore develop an appreciation for the
beautiful things in life. Your days will
seem a lot less harried, I promise you. . . . The wonderful thing about beauty
is that we can store it in our minds to be played over and over again.
Luci Swindoll0 -
Happy May Day! Does anybody else remember dancing around the May Day pole as you wound up the crepe paper streamers? How about decorating and delivering May Baskets? We made ours out of paper cups and decorated them with crepe paper which we "fringed or scrunched" or those paper doilies. Then we filled them with popcorn and pieces of candy and delivered them to door steps on May 1st with a little piece of paper giving our name or a cute poem. It was fun to get them and also to find some on your own door step. One of the very few times that I ever heard my Mother swear was when I was probably about 8 years old and we were delivering the May baskets. She took a corner a little too fast and the box of paper cups (May baskets) tilted and most of them tipped over. I can still remember the look on her face when she realized what she had said in front of me!
The sun is out here but the temperature is still in the 40's so May is not starting out very warm in central Illinois. Our Thursday golf league starts today but I don't think I'm going out and golf in this. I'm such a wimp! :-)
Jackie, I forgot to tell you that I did fix your green bean recipe a few weeks ago and we loved it!
I have heard good things about the steam cleaners, too but haven't bought one yet. I just use the dustmop on my new wood floors in the dining room and kitchen. There are several good hardwood floor cleaners that can be sprayed on the floor before you run the dustmop over them. I have a laminent wood floor in one of the upstairs bedrooms and I just use the Swifter on it.
Well, I have trying to get my desk cleaned off all this week. I had lots of filing to do which is something I don't like so I tend to procrastinate. I think today is the day to get it finished because soon the weather will be so nice that I don't want to be inside!
I hope everyone has a good day!
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Hi
Just dxed, I see a surgeon next week.
I am 63, but I am retired due to medical issues. I have a slew of 'em. Chronic pain. Chronic fatigue. Degenerative disc disease. Arthritis. Hypothyroidism. Fibromyalgia. Costochondritis. And something the doctors can't quite put a finger on. Now this.
I'm told I can expect a BMX, and I don't want reconstruction, but I don't know how I will handle the treatments that will follow. Most days I barely get out of bed. Exercise is impossible. Both knees and both shoulders are beyond repair. (When I had the MRI and had to hold my arms above my head for 20 minutes I was in agony. Had to have ice on them the rest of the day.) Even the process of having a shower (much less a bath) is daunting for the energy drain. The thought of having to get showered, dressed, go out to have treatment – I'm worn out just thinking about it.
But I have to survive. I have a wonderful husband who loves me so much; he lost his mom to cancer in 2001. And a son, who I placed for adoption in 1970, with whom I've been reunited for 9 years, who just lost his adoptive mom to cancer last week. I have promised them I will do whatever it takes to survive.
Yet to be brutally honest here, I feel like I've been given a death sentence. Oh, not next week, next month, not even next year, but this is the thing that will ultimately take my life. I don't mean to be morbid. But after this dx, are we ever truly free of it? Isn't there always going to be a cancer cell lurking somewhere in my body, just waiting for a moment of weakness to start multiplying again?
Rant over. And my apologies for saying things that are uncomfortable. I hope we are all (in this thread anyway) old enough to hear them. Thank you for listening.
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Welcome Magdalene. I know we continue to look over our shoulder for the rest of our lives. Once you have surgery and they have a clearer picture you can discuss your options. Perhaps you won't need rads or can have the kind that is not daily for weeks. I'm sure breast cancer seems like the final straw on top of your other problems. Don't worry about making other people uncomfortable. This is a place where we can be honest, even if that means we're not happy and optimistic. It can be tiring, trying to put up a good front. Hugs.
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Magdalene,
It is true that there is no cure for cancer and the best we can hope for is to be NED (no evidence of disease.) However, you have an early stage and a type of cancer with lots of available treatment options. Have you been to the stage two threads? IDC threads? Even stage four is not a death sentence. There are MANY stage four women who are living a good long life after diagnosis.
BCO has threads for all types of cancer. Yours is the most common and there is lots of available information. Just because you have other challenges, like fibromyalgia, doesn't make your prognosis worse. There are women here going through the same thing. It is also perfectly normal to be going through depression at your stage. I'm only 9 months from diagnosis but remember when breast cancer consumed my thoughts every minute of every day and a dark cloud of doom followed me everywhere.
I urge you to go to the tab at the top left for "All Topics." What you don't see until you click on a topic are many, many threads like this one below it. Happy searching.
On this thread we tend to deal with day to day life rather than specific cancer treatment discussions. Although we are free to post whatever challenges we are facing, most do not have to do with cancer. Some do, however, and we are just as supportive when one of us is going through cancer surgery or treatment. as we are when someone is having family issues or other challenges in life.
We're glad you are here. We "old broads" need to stick together and celebrate the good things in life, even when they are few and far between.
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Seen on a T-shirt:
When Momma ain't happy
ain't nobody happy.
When Grandma ain't happy
RUN!
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Hi Magdelene- welcome and please know we have all felt overwhelmed by our Dx's. I am so sorry yours came in addition to all your other health issues. Please never feel you have to censor your feelings when posting here. You will find understanding here that you will not find anywhere else. And I agree with Sandra - check out some other threads on here. I am on this one, one for those who had surgery in Jan ( I had a double mastectomy Jan 28th), one for those going thru radiation right now (which I am) and a few word game sites. I originally came on at my daughter's suggestion, figuring it would be a time-filler for a few minutes. I had no intention of ever posting anything- well- instead of a time-filler, it has become the highlight of my day. And, as you can see, I have no problem posting. I have found true friends that share their lives with me, and understand what I am going thru better than my own family. We all have had our lives rocked by cancer. But we also have family problems and triumphs, recipes to share, gardening tips, book reviews, travel plans, and anything else that we can think of.
To that end, I am posting a picture of me with my " new" hair. Even at its best my own hair has always been very fine and very thin. Absolutely blah. My DD#3 is a hair stylist and she told me I was destroying my hair with perms, so I stopped them. I was wearing a wig way before my Dx to go most of the time. I have a short one that looks very natural, but I decided last weekend that I was going to fulfill a lifetime wish to have the long hair I have always wanted. I don't know if I will ever get the courage to wear it in public, but here it is
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To be honest, I just came back to delete my comment above. I was not feeling very welcomed.
I have been all over this site – all over it! – in the past week and a half. I've posted in a number of different threads. But as an older person with other health issues I was looking for a place I might fit in. Maybe I'm being hypersensitive, but this is apparently not it.
I've been a graphic artist for 35 years, the last 20 exclusively in computer graphics, so I'm no newbie at this stuff.
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Hello Magdalene. I hope you will stay. I am 6 months beyond my diagnosis. The ladies here have offered me good advice, some fun through sharing our youthful memories, and willing ears when I needed to vent. Processing this disease takes time ... lots of time. Whatever you decide, I wish you good care and loving listeners.
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Welcome Madalene,
I wrote a whole post to you and it has just flew the coop somewhere. I was gone to work and ran errands and a whole slew of other things so I'm here late today. There are a few others who have not found your notes yet either.
I hope you will join us, I really do.
We are well-seasoned here and have learned to appreciate each other's company so much. I hope you will come often. Most of us are through treatment ( some for quite a while like myself now ) but we can still be great at hand-holding, giving suggestions, and being a willing ear for the path you are having to follow.
We aren't perfect, but we hope in sharing that we can make things easier for someone else. So do come often. We do talk about anything and everything ( except politics ) and can sometimes be found sharing a raft of different things. We just have learned to like and care about one another and love to come here and chat with those who have become old friends. I hope we see you back here soon.
Blessings
Jackie
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Anne....love the wig. Long hair that is full ( my hair was life-long thin and fine too ) and "styled" looks great and if you had not said something first....I think I would have thought of that as your 'la-natural' hair.
I keep having perms too....so one day who knows, maybe I will be bald again. At least I have done that one once.
Love the color too by the way. I think it is a good match to your eyes.
Jackie
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Anneb: hair looks great.
Magdalene: welcome. There are great women here.
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I just posted and lost it GRRRRRR
OK I'll nutshell it.
Anne love the wig color and all.
Mommarch (HUGS)))
Magdeline this is a wonderful thread for support in many ways, I hope u return.
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Hi Magdelene.... sorry you are going through such a rough time! And now breast cancer!
I think we've ALL been where you are, only not so many other issues, but Breast Cancer will scare you to death! If you just take each day, and see you can get through it, and this works with treatments, give yourself aNOTHER day, or even just 10 minutes ..... It's just GOTTA get better!
Jackie will tell you take each day at a time... or just 10 minutes at a time.... Sounds like you have a GREAT Husband.... You've got to assure him that you will be alright! I know it's hard, but seeing him being torn apart by what is going on with you, will make you feel even worse..... I know.... When they told me WHAT I had, I was so afraid..
But I told the gal that did the needle biopsy, I said...... Wait, I have to run out and get my DH.... and I'm going to tell him that "I have breast-cancer, and what they will do is a Lumpectomy, taking it out, and then I will get Radiation, and then I will be alright!" If I could make him not so afraid, then it helped me!
And then when I broke my darned HIP on Valentines Day, I was even MORE afraid! I could not MOVE to even get up! DH tried to help me... I was pulling myself up by trying to hang onto his pants... I finally made it to stand up, but I could NOT move my leg....!
We were both so afraid that I BROKE it..(which I knew) and have to stay all night! I mean away from each other! I was more afraid of not being with HIM, than the surgery, and staying 3 whole nights away from him! It's just that I needed HIM to be alright without me! We just worry about each other!
And ask your surgeon everything! Write questions down, and take them with you, and write the answers down.... I just know we can all help you... at least not be so afraid!
Anne! Your hair looks beautiful! And you look like you LOVE it! Looks so natural!
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Magdeline, you won't always get a quick response because we check in when we have the time and opportunity. Sounds like the last thing you needed was bc. You have enough health issues without it. Hang in there. For yourself. For your dh. And for your family. Feel free to come here and say whatever is on your mind. Prepare yourself to hear our honest response! We're a bunch of seasoned ole gals who have been around the block a time or two.
I was late getting home tonight because I took my mother to a supermarket with WIDE aisles following her hair apptment. She drove a store motorized shopping cart. It took a LONG TIME to go up and down the aisles while she made her choices about what to buy. At the checkout she had to borrow a dollar from me. When we got to her house, I had to carry all the bags inside. I think it's good for her to get out instead of just giving me a list. We had fun together. And she didn't knock anything over!
My middle sister is coming to visit this weekend and will be staying with my mother. It will be fun to spend time with her.
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Ladies......Happy May Day
Magdelene.... sorry you are going through such a rough time! I think we are all thrown for loop when we get that first dx. This is a great group of ladies that listened to me vent, feel sorry for myself, gave me advice and a lot of laughs and friendships along this journey. We understand what each of us are going through and do not have to try to explain it. It is hard for us but I agree with Chevy that it is even harder sometimes because we want to be sure our DH and other family members are okay and not have them worry about us. What we find out is that they are just as scared as we are but together and with these ladies it seems easier. Hope you keep coming back.
Anne...Love your new hairdo.
I remember the pop beads and candy store with the penny candy. My dad was an ice man when I was very little and then he delivered butter before becoming a night watchman at a factory. I remember all the neighborhood kids always wanted a ride to school in the back end of his truck which he would do every so often. He also worked part time at a gas station and when he took us there we were always allowed to have a drink. I would take a small bottle of chocolate milk and my sister would take an orange drink.I loved the orange dreamsicles. there is a drink in Key West that is called the dreamsicle and taste like the ice cream treat. Delicious!!!( and I very rarely have a drink but this one I would really like to have again.)
Sorry for rambling on so much.
Have a great Friday!
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Carole, hope you have a good visit with your sister.
Termite, I enjoyed reading your memories.
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Hi ladies - Doesn't Anne's new hear look great. I'm wondering are the bang your own, Anne, or the new hair? The hairline looks so natural it's unbelievable. Color too looks as if you grew it all yourself. It's time for us all to do what what we've always wanted. If not now, when? The people who love us will love us more.
Magdalene - WELCOME. It takes a while for messages to turn around here. By that I mean some of us are morning gals, some afternoon, and some late nighters. But if you check in once a day there will be something fun and new for sure. I'm on a couple threads that I read for information, but I come here for friends, caring and fun. Getting that diagnosis must have knocked you down. I don't have any other medical problems, but cancer came out of the blue like a giant torpedo. What a surprise for Christmas. But I've recovered from surgery and radiation and doing my best to get back to my old self. Your painful conditions are a heavy load to bear, but the ladies here are willing listeners and will help cheer you along. Glad you jumped right in to tell us who you are and share your need for cheerleaders right now. Everyone else knows I'm a clown (really, no joke) and spend my time drumming up birthday parties and corporate events to hire me for clowning, balloon artistry or face painting. Wish I could come and paint a smile for you.
Sandra - thanks for the May Baskets and the picture of dancing in the rain. Just the word dance makes me feel happy. My mom was a dancer in Chicago stage plays and the circus! The song my son choose for me at his wedding was "I hope you dance". My office friends and I did a wellness project taking tap dance lessons. (Yes that office group was a hoot.) And I have signed up for line dance lessons at our local health center. If only I had my pop beads to wear to the lesson.
My two children are organizing our annual Kentucky Derby Pool. $2 per horse and winner takes all. Last year my dog, Peggy, had the winning horse. She was only three months old at the time so I kept her winnings. Still cold and rainy here. Night all.
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I forgot to tell you all I made the paper today. The print will be small in the clipping, but you can see my name if you look really hard. "Sweet Mimi" Bonus: they pay me and advertise for me Hooray!
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AnneB, hubba-hubba! You look fab in long hair.
Mimi, how exciting to be mentioned in the publicity.
Magdalene, sorry you feel like this isn't the thread for you. It happens. Sounds like you've tried a number of other threads too. I hope you keep looking until you find a place where you feel at home. Perhaps a place where they get into more medical detail than we do here will suit you better. The nice thing about BCO is there are hundreds of threads but if you feel you haven't found "it" maybe you could start a thread of your own. I hope you get the kind of feedback you are looking for.
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This is about Facebook but could just as easily apply to us here.
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Morning gals.... Magdalene, I just sent you a PM.... Hope you will hang around with us...
Sometimes, I know with me, And probably Cammi too, that we maybe hear, or mis-interpret things, that we aren't really understanding, and therefore we tend to think things are different than what we expected.
So now if you understand THAT, you are beyond hope...Ha! Or you then think like me and Cammi.... which I might add, isn't often....
That is a good article from FB Sandra! But I honestly don't do FB anymore! I had my Identity stolen, because my DEBIT card was stolen, OUT of my purse, by an "electronic reader.." I think it is called RFID or something... So they had all my information! Tried to charge over $2000 out of my checking for airline tickets, etc. Mastercard called me at NIGHT, asking if I had authorized 2 payments... blah blah!
She asked FIRST if I had my Debit Card with me... I checked, and it was still in my purse... She then told me I had to notify the Police, Social Security, Credit agencies,and get a new card... It was a PAIN in the butt! Then about 3 months later, Capitol One sent a letter, telling me to CALL immediately because someone was trying to open a charge card in my name! I carry a paper from the Police, stating that I had been a victim of Identity Theft, and to make sure it is really ME, if in case I get arrested for "stuff" .... like pole dancing, and all... Shut up Cammi...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjOduug-SC8
So to make a long story even LONGER, that's why I don't do FB... all your information is out there... same as here... Our posts can be seen by anyone that is interested.
Mimi! You are like a celebrity! Ha, ha! You have a fun life!
Going out to Lunch today, with our "Other Daughter!" She came from Viet Nam, when she was 11... and we've known her for over 35 years... My Daughter's best friend, and so we "inherited" her... or "adopted".... One or the other.... maybe even acquired! Ha!
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