Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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The tachycardia is the pits.. When I had mine Is thought it must of been my heart.. But it was because of my thyroid..
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Gosh gals! I stay away for a week (we had company from Illinois visiting us) and I find PAGES of posts awaiting me! I guess that's the sign of an active thread! :-)
First of all, Cammi....I am so sorry about your brother. Such losses are alway painful. Hugs!
Termite, I'm also sorry about your uncle.
Sandra.... Wow! You have had some stressful times with Mike lately. I hope they get this under control quickly.
Puffin..Great picture! I agree with Wren. I would NEVER have survived your "locked in" experience! I would have lost it big time. I hate to be enclosed in anything. You have grit, gal!
Carole....take care of that foot. You have lots of golf waiting for you. What diagnosis did they give you and what did they tell you to do about it?
Chevy...thanks for identiy theft info. That's really scary stuff.
Joan....oh my gosh! That snow picture is horrendous! That's a lot of snow! I must admit that I love the white and fluffy stuff in FL much better. In fact, we went to the beach when our friends were here so we could hunt shells. It was so lovely and peaceful.
There was so much more that I wanted to comment about but my feeble mind can't remember it all and I don't want to lose this post by going back so I'lll sign off for now and be back tomorrow!
More later....
Rita
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Chevy, A Donner, what is that? Help put on stockings, how about panty hose, i have an awful time anymore with them! I only have trouble with my ankles swelling when I travel, take a diuretic for a day or 2 , seems to help that!
Snow tonight, but not too much. Then again Monday and now they are saying Wed. Making up for lost time! Blood test tomorrow morning. Hope the roads are OK.
Good to see so many familiar names after being away for a while! Night ladies. Jean
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I can feel myself kind of "caving in" inside so I guess I have officially overdone it. When I sat down last night my legs were cramping and I was nauseated. I was asleep by 9 p.m. Being strong is hard. We are making the first positive steps towards making one room in the house a "clean room" for Mike. The floor was measured and tile will go down within the next two weeks as soon as I can find someone to do it that I can afford. The room is now my dining room and I have cabinets full of lovely crystal and china and antiques from our years living in Europe. It all has to be packed up carefully so a group of my daughter's friends can move everything out and into a rented storage room. Some sheetrock repairs need to be done and the whole room has to be scrubbed. There's just so much to think of, so much to do, so little time. My daughter Allison will be back from Chicago Wednesday night and I think I might just be like the witch in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy pours water on her. I'll just melt.
Mike was released from the hospital this afternoon and he is quite happy to be in his comfy chair with his cat, Jeffrey. Now that he is feeling better, he was ready to go AWOL if they didn't let him out. He's tired from being awakened every couple of hours for a week. The infection is getting better I'm told, but it sure doesn't look like it. His chest is still red and swollen from the 2" incision on his chest up to the 1/2" incision on his neck. The internal medicine doc told us the infection is staph arelias (sp? are-el-e-as), can be quite dangerous, and people die from it, which is frightening. He had a PICC line put in and will continue the IV antibiotic for another ten days at home. I'm in charge of the PICC care and administering the antibiotic but that doesn't scare me since I've had many PICC lines & home IV antibiotics before. It's the chest wound that has me concerned. The doctors didn't stitch it shut. It's left open to "drain" but all I see draining is lots of blood! There is a clear sterile dressing over it so it looks frightening to see a big splotch of blood on his chest. He is very sore there and it hurts him to have the dressing removed. I was taught how to change the dressing. We both have to wear masks and I use sterile drapes, and a sterile dressing kit. Oh my, I feel such responsibility not to hurt him and not to introduce any new kind of infection.
We heard from the hematologist that they are going to start Mike on chemo next week, even though they first said they weren't because it wouldn't help extend his life. Unfortunately his illness is progressing too fast and he is now requiring blood transfusions every 5-7 days instead of every 2 weeks. Even then, they can't get his hemoglobin up past 7.7, hematocrit 24. So the chemo will buy a little more time to complete the donor search.
I can't cry. I won't ever stop.
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Oh Sandra if only we could do more to help. I just read you last post and can see how many details you have to take care of. Redoing the room is something I would never have thought of when thinking about transplants.
And Puffin - how scary to get locked in a mausoleum. You could have been there for days. I guess that's a thought for all of us. Keep your phone with you and charged. Don't lock doors needlessly if the locks are unfamiliar. I have always had a certain fear of unlocking unfamiliar stuff. I'm just not key coordinated in general! I was a little afraid you were going to write your phone wouldn't work inside the mausoleum. Glad it did!
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Sandra, You are really in a terrifying position. I see what you mean about not starting to cry. Is he still not wanting to tell anyone? You can set up a Caring Bridge site and post progress notes there. Tell the people you want to know how to sign up (you have the OK whether people can access the site or not). Then you can ask for help with things and let people know what's happening without having to take phone calls. I'm glad he's back home with his kitty and you. There is no rest in hospitals. I wish I was there to just hold you in a big hug. Sending love across the miles for both of you.
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Sandra,
I know how scary it must be for you. I had my hubby home after open heart, and even with a nursing background (many years ago) I was scared. Do they have a visiting nurse coming, if not ask about that, at least for some support for you. May God give you the strength you need. Jean
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I just want to give Bonnets this info.... This is like the Donner I have... almost... And they DO have one for panty-hose also! I don't think I could get THOSE on anyway...Ha! But the Donner is great...
http://www.amazon.com/Jobst-110913-Stocking-Donner...
http://www.wisdomking.com/product/the-double-ezy-s...
Sandra, I just don't know what to say.... You are a Saint... You don't have time to cry.... but it's okay if you do.... You can only be THAT strong for so long.... and going through all of the changes at home.
I would have been a basket case long before this.... I remember when DH was in surgery for his Pacemaker, and I could see them through the little window, while they were wrestling with him, trying to hold him down, without knocking him out, to slow the heart down too much.... I just slid down the wall, sobbing. So much hurt and pain for THEM... because they are a part of you.... just brings you to your knees.
Mike knows how much you care... what you would go through for, and with him... so it's okay if you have an occasional melt-down... kind of gives you a little more strength to go on... It's okay for him too.... Just hold on to the hope that you are doing everything possible, and that he could turn-around, and start climbing up that road to feel better again... That's what you can do..... Just hold on to each other....
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Sandra, I hope there is another person, your daughter or another family member or dear friend, who can give you support. Mike's rapid decline is a nightmare. Lots of sympathy and hugs.
Puffin, your experience was terrifying. It made me shudder.
Bonnets, welcome back. We're glad you rejoined us.
Hi to everyone.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness.
~Finnish proverb0 -
Carole, great to see you back.
Sandra, I think I might sort of understand what you mean about not starting to cry. There are always times when that can have an effect of helping us move forward in life, but I'm questioning like you, that this is one of those times. We don't always know why WE, or our LOVED ones must undergo these challenges -- especially when they are so dire and frightening. We go on pure and total grit because there is nothing else to do. I so agree with Chevy -- Mike knows how very much you care, and I'd imagine he is putting on his brave and competent face for you as well.
Prayers to the great Universe for love, patience, tenderness and most of all strength to do what will most give you Sandra the peace that hopefully will come from knowing you are doing what is within your power to make things as good as they can be. Peace and healing vital energies to Mike as he fights to regain what health he can as well. Whether we believe or not, we walk the earth in the good Lord's care and hoping at all time for grace and mercy.
See you all later.
Blessings
Jackie
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Sandra,
Like everyone else, my heart is breaking for you and Mike. My one piece of advice to you would be to pick one person - your daughter, a friend, - and hand over to them all details except for being with Mike. Let them delegate chores to friends who want to help but don't know how. Let them shop, cook, do laundry and most of all pack up and then set up the "clean" room. Your only tasks at this point need to be your own well-being and Mike's. Emotional exhaustion can be just as debilating as physical. If you don't have anyone to take charge, eliminate as many physical chores as possible- send the laundry out, check with Meals on Wheels for dinners, hire professionals to handle the "clean" room. I know it sounds expensive, but it is critical that you let go of the daily tasks while Mike's health is so unstable.
I totally understand you not crying because you are afraid you won't be able to stop. Been there, done that. Just know that we are here to support you in any way we can. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help- maybe pay for someone to clean the house or for the setting up of the clean room.
Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way
Anne
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Anne! That is very good advice! Makes a lot of sense....
We are WITH you Sandra! xoxo
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Sandra - I echo Anne. Allow others to help so you can be with Mike. Thinking of you
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The "new" guest room is finally ready for our first house guests. It was a lot of trouble for the whole process of turning the old guest room into office (little used now) and my former office into guest room, larger and nicer. Most of that work was accomplished early in 2014 and is now largely forgotten. Yesterday I hung some little window valances and made up the new queen-sized bed and vacuumed. The room looks really nice.
I sniffed the new blanket and it probably should have been washed but I put it in the dryer for a few minutes instead.
DH's cousin, who came to New Orleans last weekend to run in the marathon, and her dh, who ran in the half marathon, are supposed to return from a cruise Mon. afternoon and drive across the causeway to our house. They will probably stay a couple of days and then go home to WV. We enjoy their company despite the age difference. She's 58 and he will soon turn 60. They retired in 2014. Both had good jobs and they didn't squander their money. Nor did they have children.
I've been having my own private little pity party for no good reason other than feeling down about a friend in FL who is a few younger than me and is under Hospice care. And a couple of minor failures in my life like poor weight management and playing poor golf. Oh, and my foot ailment that isn't getting better. Nothing to complain about in comparison to what Sandra and Blondie are coping with.
Yesterday I talked with an old friend on the phone. She's a retired nurse and lives in TX now. She advised me to go to an orthopedist instead of a podiatrist. I think I will follow that advice. First I want to get some recommendations for a good ortho dr.
The sun is out and I plan to take my overweight body to the gym this morning. I will do some housecleaning chores later and also prepare a pork roast to cook tomorrow morning for noon dinner at my mother's house. DH just got up. He's suffering with a third round of the "crud" that has gone around this winter.
Thinking about Mike and Sandra and Blondie. Happy Saturday to everyone.
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Passion doesn't come from business or books or even a connection with another person. It is a connection with your own life force, the world around you, and the spirit that connects us all. You are the source. Books, work, music, people, sunsets all provide sparks, but only you can light the fire.
Jennifer James
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Good Morning,
Hate to say though it isn't really here weather-wise. Not doing much right now but ahem' one of those gray days. Toss up for rain or snow or even a mixture. Carole, I think being in the doldrums and poor me state is an endurance test. We all go through whatever challenges come --- and sometimes, the challenge seems far easier than what others are going through --- but never-the-less, if YOU are feeling it, IT is valid. That really isn't minimizing the severity of what our friends may be dealing with at the moment, but in order to do something about OUR life issues, they need to be recognized and acknowledged as fully as possible.
If you do that, then you can find a successful conclusion to whatever is ailing you. Blondie, Sandra, and Mike are having what have become major and really difficult things to handle -- at some point we all have them but like you, most of what is going on in life for me pales to near nothingness in comparison.
Your new guest room sounds pretty and comfortable too. I hope your family members ( dh's side ) coming will cheer you up. Wow that Dh has the "crud" again. That has its own difficulties. I hope he is feeling better by the time your company arrives. Just hoping no one gets a case of the measles which have re-surfaced. They seem to have a large foothold in many states already.
I will be back later on and will see you all again, then.
Blessings
Jackie
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Jackie, you always know the right comforting things to say. I feel like you reached out all the way from IL and gave me a kind pat on the back! Thank you!
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Sandra---- It's good to hear Mike is feeling better. Anne's advice iss very good advice. It makes a lot of sense.. You and Mike are in my thoughts and prayers.
Blondie----- you sound good for all that you have been through. hope you are feeling better each day.
Carole ----I think we all have those days but hopefully tomorrow your spirits will be up.
Chevy----love the dog and cat picture
We are under a weather warning starting tonight. Each weather person has a different amount of snow that we are to get. Went and filled my gas tank this morning and DH went grocery shopping for some items. We have no plans for going anywhere for the superbowl so we are not worried about driving anywhere until Monday for work.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Emmy
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Hi Ladies--
Sandra sending prayers u'r way---such a difficult time, but like Anne said see what kind of help u can get--this is so hard on u also. Please sneak in some down time for u'rself somewhere. And I pray Mike is better each day.
Carole, we all have a right to own our emotions no matter how anyone thinks or for whatever the reasons--I hope u can have brighter days soon.
Thank u all or the well wishes, I'm still hazy and I can't face it yet. And the memorial was hundreds o people so it was hard to take it all in, just to much talking my GF sent all kinds of food from her restaurant for us--after all we're Italian, has to be lots of food and I was glad for some quiet time with my friends, but the rest was crazy And my goofy DD got scared cuz there were body guards around, she's thinking it's the mafia and my dear SIL told her if u watched the news u'd know who these people were and there is no mafia here. So she felt better--she got scared. And Joey didn't stray to far from me in case I needed him, Bless his heart. I pretty much stayed to myself while my sister worked the room--let her be the one, not me. It was kind of good to hear, one of the maintenance men who worked at the court house came on crutches, he just had a knee replacement and I sait to him, why would u come like this, u didn't have to and he said What? It's because it's Mike, then he said he was the only judge that talked to everyone in the court house and when he became chief judge, he was the exact same way, the others thought their chit didn't stink. And he'd get us in on jokes he played, well that sounded like my brother---Well enough from me. I've been so tired, I have to stop thinking for a while.
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Yes Cammi.... Sorry for everything..... but so glad Joey was close to you.... Your Brother sounds like a fun, very well liked man! Oh, and yes they WERE Mafia.... Ha! If anyone is Italian, they have Mafia connections, SOMEhow....
I just read a book by Dick Kreck about the Mafia/Smaldones in this area, from years ago.... So much was going on, even with my FIL being involved... But the Smaldones were the NICEST people, with their neighbors, etc. Lots of stories went around, but who knows how much was true.They had a lot to do with helping Central City get started.... with their water system.... Also read a book about Baby Doe Tabor.... I LOVE the early history of this State, and the people who had a hand in making it what it is.... "The Mad-woman in the Cabin" (I think) is about Baby Doe.... How after her last Husband died, she stayed up in the town of Leadville, with her Matchless Mine...
Her story.... the struggles, with her Daughters.... and the town.... along with Tabor, her Husband.... The author told a very believable story....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_Doe_Tabor
Carole, did you ever hear of that book? We always thought it was her face in the Teller House.... The Face on the Bar-room Floor.... but it wasn't hers....
You know, I couldn't care less for History, when I was in school, but it is really interesting to me now.....
http://www.summitdaily.com/news/8487881-113/doe-baby-tabor-temple
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Cammi, such a sad gathering but how wonderful that so many people attended your brother's services. He was obviously respected and liked. I'm sure you have memories to comfort you. But nothing makes up for the loss of a family member.
We plan to take food to my mother's house today for a noon dinner. She's an old-fashioned country woman and "dinner" will always be a noon meal. The night meal is supper. I had a large Boston butt roast, stuffed with chopped green onions and garlic, cooking in the Crock Pot overnight. I'll make some gravy with the liquid and also cook some cauliflower and cheese sauce. My mother is baking sweet potatoes.
My weight was finally down a lb. this morning so it's time for a good ole heavy Sunday dinner!
We'll be watching the Super Bowl here at home. We don't have a favorite team playing so I really don't care who wins.
Happy Sunday to all.
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Worry never robs
tomorrow of its sorrow,
it only saps today of its joy.
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I struggle too with the wt. thing. I just am not as physical as when I lost the 50 pounds -- I was working two and three jobs and volunteering as well. It really isn't possible anymore for me to go like that. Still -- I've kept about 32 of those pounds off and wonder if I'll be able to find a workable pattern so that I can slowly get it down some more.
What really happens with me is that I get ahead by two or three pounds and then the struggle to keep up with some exact timing and getting every meal per day in just gets to me -- and I take a day off and even if I don't cheat -- I don't do well if I'm not desperately harsh with myself it seems. I resist the discipline. I'm just bad that way. I really should have about 25 more pounds gone and that seems just enormous to me.
I sure identified with the statement " old fashioned country woman " Carole. We never had dinner at night -- only supper. I think though we always called the noon meal lunch -- and thinking that came as much as anything from having 'lunch' at school every day.
It is raining here this morning. I think it will be something of an all day thing. We will be fine today but some freezing is expected overnight tonight -- so tomorrow there may be slick spots to watch out for. Not liking that anymore than the gray un-inviting color outside.
Sending hugs and hope and healing energies to Mike, Sandra and Blondie and anyone else who is struggling with any issues of any kind.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Cammi, such a large gathering. It is wonderful that so many people attended your brother's services. Just shows how well liked he was.
Today is snowing here We have well over a foot of snow and more coming down. Tonight is suppose to blowing snow. Sure is bad for driving. We will watch the superbowl game at home tonight. DH has cleared the driveway about 5 times already. Hoping my work will be closed tomorrow.
Have a great week
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Hi everyone
Just checking in to let you know I am back in Ga. I cannot begin to tell you how much I loved my time with Lucia. She is just learning to talk, and when she doesn't want something, instead of just saying "no" she says"no, no, no, no no!" She has also discovered "Frozen" and will bring you the TV remote and say "more" every time you change the channel until you finally start the movie. They are planning her first trip to Disneyworld at the end of March and I will meet them there. Don't know if I can handle full days at the parks, but will do as much as I can.
Carole, I understand your sadness at having someone in hospice. I got a call from my sister yesterday. Our cousin's daughter, a single mom of two, in her early 40's was put in hospice yesterday. She has pancreatic cancer that has spread to her liver. Her kidneys are shutting down. Somehow it is so much worse when it is someone who is so young. Thankfully, her ex, who has remarried has taken custody of the two boys, and he and his new wife have been there for her and her parents in every way possible.
Mike, Sandra and Blondie- my thoughts and prayers are with you always
Ann
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Anne,
I think you talked about your cousin here one other time. I do recall that at the time I had a sense of deep sorrow. I think in so many ways how much pain I might feel had I gotten a different diagnosis than what I did -- and if I were young enough to have kids still in the business of needing to get nurtured and grow into lovely near adults. Cruel in a way for all concerned. A mom who must leave the children and children who must feel her loss too. A father and step-mom who must step in and somehow fill that void.
I am much more spiritual than religious and always trust that God knows what he is doing but it is a matter of having faith ---- I don't know enough spiritually to have total conviction --- that comes later. I also recall your having spoken about the father and your cousin being really ok that he and his wife would take on the responsibility of the young sons. I hope that still having a 'biological' parent to rely on will help keep the boys a little more centered and that they will have a sense of continuity while getting use to the loss of their mother. Just a major adjustment for all concerned. My prayer list has become so long that I just rely on Angel Guides to remember each individual I want to ask blessings for. Probably that way with all of us.
It is after 9 p.m. already and I don't know quite where the day went. I need to get a shower and change the sheets on my bed. I will be here tomorrow all day and tomorrow night as well. I am needed though at my little lady's house. There will be another overnight stay for me. I'll go there very early Tuesday morning and won't be home till ???? sometime Wednesday. The Dr. I work for needs a pacemaker and it will be same day surgery so some time on Wednesday ( could be late ) I will be home. Dh does not have to work so he will fill in for me I think with the feral cats and will take care of our pets here. Some things work out well when you have people who only work part time.
I could have told you all that tomorrow night, but in case I get caught up and don't get on here as much -- you will at least know what is happening.
Anyway --- I'll see you all later.
Jackie
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Jackie, you are quite dedicated to your job...staying over so that the medical procedure can be accomplished. It is hard as we get older and cannot do as much for ourselves. And our children are often far away. They are blessed to have you. So glad your DH can take care of the cats. You bring a lot of love to your neck of the woods...and to us here too!
Carole, I agree with Jackie...my friend who is a therapist often says "you can't compare pain" whether it is emotional or physical. It is happening to YOU and it is relative to your "normal". It is so hard to think about weight control when you can't be as active as you'd like. I truly hope you are on the mend.
And I also agree with your concern over the very difficult challenges that are going on here.Cammi, memorial services are exhausting in every way...but it is a wonderful way to gather with family and old friends to share the fullness of the life that your brother lived. I hope you are resting up and taking care of yourself.
Chevy, I also love the history of Colorado...it's fairly recent and very colorful; and there is so much of it still there to see in the old buildings, railroads, museums and ghost towns. On my last trip I went to Trinidad which just seemed like it would be dull and industrial. Well, the museum there had countless artifacts and wonderful stories and photos of the early settlers, politicians, and townspeople. So much money was made just supplying folks with what they needed to do their jobs or live. CO is my second home. If my grandkids didn't all live in the east, I'd probably retire there.
Sandra, I do think it is a good idea to let others know your needs. You have taken on a lot and also have to field phone calls and fill in updates on Mike. I would think that when he was discharged with an infection, challenging dressing, and IV, that you would get frequent nursing visits for the first week or two. I know the IV port has to be checked and cleaned...a nurse can come to do that.
I am without words for what you are going through. You are both too young to be facing this. I pray that Mike will heal quickly and get the transplant and move on to much better health. Keep hanging on to the positive...to the good outcome you know can occur. Sending hugs and prayers for you both.Jean, you have been through so much...I hope your next report is a good one. We are getting snow again tonight...and it could affect classes tomorrow again. It is week 3 of the semester and I've seen my class once. I will get rain in the morning but work will be snowy. It's messy.
Termite, I will have to check in with my DS in Chicago in the morning. He was hoping for a better winter and so far it is warmer than last year, but here comes the snow.
Be safe everyone, and be grateful for each day.
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