Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Nothing more intriguing than a deleted post! Curiosity kicks in. LOL.
I'm sitting here sipping a cup of coffee and feeling virtuous after returning home from the gym. You could have shot a cannon and not hurt many exercisers this morning! LOL. It's Mardi Gras season and people are busy doing other things, like taking the kids to parades. DH is off to his monthly woodturners' meeting. He wouldn't miss it for the world.
We'll be picking up our neighbors, Brian and Arleen, at 2 pm and the four of us will drive to downtown New Orleans for the Endymion parade tonight. Brian's insurance company employer has an office building on the parade route with parking under the building and a large yard circled by a wall. Every year this employer gives a big party with catered food and soft drinks and beer. We get invited. The parade starts to roll about dark and it's one of the big ones, very colorful with huge floats and lots of throws flying through the air as the floats go by. Quite a few marching bands and also the flambeau marchers. Years ago the torches were rags soaked in some flammable liquid but now the flickering light at the end of the poles is some kind of bulb, I guess.
We don't bother to go to other parades even though there are some really good ones right here on the north shore. This is just something fun we do with Brian and Arleen. They like having my dh along as a driver. Then they can drink beer. It's fun to jig around to the music and wave our arms and yell, "Throw me something, Mister!" We always come home with huge bags of beads and doubloons and plastic cups and other throws. The last few years, lighted throws are all the rage.
Hope everyone has a good Saturday.
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Sandra, Thinking of you. Our DD after her first round of chemo and another CT was contacted by MD Anderson and her Thymus Gland was showing that it might be a cancer. They removed the Gland and it was OK.
Carole, Mardi Gras sounds like alot of fun. Never have been.
DH went to the shop this morning and drove 20 miles back to the house to give me a dozen red roses. How sweet. We got our Ford Focus yesterday, had to drive to El Paso, the old truck made it there and back.
I need to get to killing my Rats for the day. Road trips wear me out.
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Sending love to all of you today and every day for your support and friendship.
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Sandra: so happy your friend was able to relieve some of the worry for you
Carole, sounds like you have a fun evening to look forward to, I plan to just hibernate in my warm house while the wind blows its -40 wind chills outside tonight
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I see this thread has been going on for years. Great! I am just starting my BC journey at 69. Right now I have a thread going under "Just Diagnosed Lumpectomy or Mastectomy Decision Time". I am really confused so am trying to find out if I need more tests or another opinion. It's not that I don't trust my doc but I haven't even seen an oncologist yet. I have gotten some responses and I'm more doubtful the amount of info I've received. Would love to get input from us "oldies but goodies".
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Okay diane.... We are the "oldies..".... Hah! I think I would talk to the "team" that is going to be working with you.... Find out what they suggest.... See if THEY think a Lumpectomy would be enough, after all the tests are in. Or maybe a Mastectomy! It would depend on the size, type, grade, etc. And if any Lymph nodes are involved.
I didn't see an Oncologist until after my surgery.... And after the radiation. I didn't do chemo.... I had my choice, so I just didn't want to, at my age... I was 72 I think when I was diagnosed.... They will let you know, if chemo is advised.... there are so many types now!
Your diagnosis so far, might indicate your Doc might want you to think about all KINDS of things that are up in the air for you.... So just talk to your team.... Don't you hate the waiting?
Keep all your information, AND write down all the questions, and then write down the answers.... So many different things depend on where they go from here.... and you won't know for sure, until you get the final Path report.... So don't worry none.... We are always here.... and lots of these gals have gone through a lot, and are still around here talking, golfing, and just enjoying every day....
Seems like Breast Cancer for ME was a lot easier than trying to heal up from a broken hip with a rod, screws, pins, bars, shields, and pliars.... Ha! Just kidding.... A year ago today they did the surgery.... But at least it wasn't my right arm..... How would I EVER have put my make-up on, and rolled my hair every day? So see? Things could be worse.
Take good care....
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Hi Diane. Welcome. I was Dx'd at 66 with DCIS. I was fortunate to have been referred to exceptional providers along this journey.
When I met with my surgeon, we discussed treatment options. He was very kind, and took the time to explain things in detail. Because mine was small, and the MRI didn't show any other abnormality, I decided on lumpectomy. Once my surgery was done, I met with an RO and an MO. I had 33 radiation treatments with few SEs, and now I meet with my MO every 3 months to manage my medication.
It's difficult to have to make treatment decisions when you have so little experience with breast cancer. I trust my doctors and have had a "smooth" ride so far. Just take it one step at a time, and stay in touch with us. There are so many fabulous people here.
Blessings
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Luvmaui---Happy Belated Birthday! The picture of you and your DIL is great. You all look so happy.
Carol--Hope you had fun at the parade and party. We have been to NOL a few times but never during Mardi Gras. We were there during St. Patricks Day and saw the parade then.
Sandra----glad to hear you have someone that relieved your worry. Hope Mike is feeling stronger every day.Prayers sent to you both.
Magicbean----I decided on the lumpectomy after talking with my doctor and the surgeon. Then had the mammosite twice a day for a 5 days. Now taking Femara and have few SE. Good luck to you through this journey. The ladies here are super and someone is always around to answer any questions.
Had a lot of cleaning and laundry to do today to catch up with things. Last weekend was spent with the flu and had to stay home from work on Monday. I had the flu shot in October too. Thursday I had to get an MMR shot since my blood test came back I was not immune to the measles. We had to be tested for work if we were born before 1957 or did not have our records to prove we had the shots before.
Very cold and windy here today. Suppose to get some snow tomorrow. DH is having surgery on his shoulder on Monday. They thought it was his rotary cup(sp) but it is bone on bone so they will scrape some of the bone away. He will be home the same day but off work for a few weeks.
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.
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Welcomed
Happy valentines day
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Diane,
Welcome !!! I am coming in so late. I just noticed your post seconds before I had to run out the door and get to work. I was diagnosed in 2007 so I thinking there are already lots of new txs. I also was taken care of by the V.A. so I didn't feel at the time as though I had as many choices as some of you ladies did -- but I did have a wonderful caring female Surgeon who did a fantastic job.
Your pathology report is your guide. Hopefully your Oncologist can help you choose which course of action best suits your position. There are a lot of factors to consider and he might think an Oncotype test is in order. Also, some radiation. Write down all the questions you can think of -- like any further tests that may be needed, or if he thinks you may need chemo and radiation. If so what type of chemo etc.
It is sort of a whole new language but can be fairly easy for some people. If you don't feel you have answers that feel right, by all means get a second opinion. Many women do. I didn't but my surgeon was so good I didn't feel the need. At her office I also made friends ( we email each other to this day ) with the Avon Breast Navigator. She as well provided so much information that I felt I could get my chemo at the V.A. Hosp. and feel secure that all would be well and it was. Usually when all else is done you might be counseled to take one of the five yr. pills -- mainly to suppress your estrogen and progesterone production since they were feeding your cancer.
At some place, when you have had most of your questions answered and you start to feel that you are "getting" things handled, hopefully you will be able to relax and not feel overwhelmed and know that you and your Dr. are doing what it takes to put you on the road to wellness.
Please come often, there are others here whose treatments were much more recent than mine.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Saying hi...nice long week end...valentines and presidents days.
There so many needs here and my heart goes out to those who have experienced loss, illness, accident, or anything that disturbs the peace in our lives.
Sandra, you have been on an emotional roller coaster. I hope your doctor acquaintance is right about your lung. It must be difficult to wait.Mommarch, hope better days are ahead for you. Glad you got a car finally.
We are expecting more snow in a few hours. And winds to 60 mph which will blow the snow around. I have not seen the grass in weeks. Two inches so far today.
My DD and her DH sold the big house they've been in for a year. She told the girls that they would be moving again, and also that their dad would be getting his own place. I had dreaded it for so long, and now that they have a plan, DD said that my younger granddaughter (4) was comforting her big sister (7) and telling her "don't worry, Mommy will be with us and we'll still see Daddy too"
It breaks my heart, but they have a plan and DD already found a smaller house to buy in same town.We went to see "Theory of Everything" and I found it to be a great true story.
Ahhh 2 more days off....love the long week end.
Wishing a happy week end for all.
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The smallest act of kindness
is worth more than the grandest intention.
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Good morning,
Well, what was I thinking -- just lost a whole post. We are sitting here waiting for the snow to begin. Six or seven inches ( I don't trust the weather people here so more or less, who knows ) , but it is nothing like the East coast and what they have had to undergo. It is almost un-believable to me. Boston with is it 6 or 7 feet of snow and expecting a minimum of another ft. over this week-end. Their Spring & Summer is going to be a precious one.
I feel for anyone with all the issues, outages, and other nightmare problems continuing inclement weather can bring. We here are only going to be in-convenienced and then likely only a very little. So lots of thought, prayers, and hopes for all those suffering from the very harsh Eastern seaboard weather.
Joan, you are undergoing as well the transition your DD and DSIL and GD's are having to make now. I am glad they do have a plan. It is something that can be successful if all the adults work at it fruitfully. Not pleasant, but the little 4 yr. old has a winning attitude. Changes seem always harder for us to accept than for young children who can make transitions somewhat easily. I hope it goes well. I have been surprised a few times myself when my kids did things I just hated and thought they were being so very, very foolish about, but in the end -- it was their life to live. I'm not thrilled to this day about a couple of things, but overall, when I let it go for REAL, I reached a place where I have easily accepted that my parents likely felt the same over a number of my choices but we all ended up enjoying life no matter what.
Just am hoping for everyone of you to be released back to the calmness of joy and contentment when the time is right.
I'm sitting here on this grayish morn with a smile inside and a Happy Light on. Di did me such a beautiful kindness. For the price of postage she sent me an extra Happy Light she had. I really wouldn't have understood that a light could lift my spirits and though gray outside I just can't sink to the doldrums I almost immediately was falling heir too with the dark weather we have had so very much of this yr.
We have our heat ( repaired twice this yr. but working so well now ) and we have the thermo coupler now repaired in our tankless water heater ( after three days of cold water for everything ) and a Happy Light where I can bask in the sun no matter what is going on outside. My world is wonderful. It was bitterly cold when I got off work at 9:30 p.m. last night to come home. Not much better this morning. Dh says he will put the snow blade on the tractor so he can keep our driveway plowed out. I think the snow ( maybe even a tad more ) will stick around for a week or so. It is sort of winter at last. We only had two brief snows right at Thanksgiving and have been without since then. This is the time when we usually look forward to heavy-duty hints of Spring -- but guess those are going to wait. Had a mild week or two before this snow coming -- maybe that was the hint and I missed it -- but more likely that I just wanted those hints to keep on coming.
Thinking of you all and wanting the best for all.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Hi, Diane. Several of our ladies have already offered good advice. Maybe you should take a piece of paper and write down the advantages and disadvantages of the two options, Lumpectomy and Mastectomy. I opted for MX with my husband's full support. I knew I would want reconstruction and the one-step was easily available. I would go into the hospital with A cup breasts and leave the hospital with A or small B cup. I would never have another mammogram or mammogram report. And I would avoid radiation, which has its own discomforts and SEs and risks.
I would NOT have avoided chemo unless I received a low oncotype number. Thank goodness, I did. My recovery was complicated by some healing issues related to my one-step surgery but I did heal. And I would make the same choices again.
Women who opt for the simple MX with no reconstruction heal quite fast. I have talked with some who are happy with their choice. They do not miss breasts. But I wanted to keep the same body shape.
There are many true stories out there. Some women who opt for MX discover there are other tumors in the same breast or in the so-called healthy breast. In my case, no other tumors were discovered in either breast. What worried me was that many women who have lumpectomies grow more tumors in future years. I didn't want that anxiety. Many women do NOT grow more tumors.
My main worry is something my BC dr. told me kindly after I had healed and was ready to go back to "normal" life. People who have one type of cancer are more likely to develop another type of cancer than people who have not had cancer. I know several bc survivors who have been unfortunate enough to be a part of this statistic. We have to be vigilant in our health care.
Good luck, Diane, in making your decisions that are right for YOU.
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Welcome Diane. You will find a lot of support here. As you can see, there are lots of opinions here based on our own experiences. However, the most relevant information is what your pathology report contains, as our very wise Jackie has already pointed out. Once you have that information, then you'll be ready to seek opinions on the options that are available to you and your very specific situation. There are SO many factors that go into making the important decisions you face - type and nature of the cancer, location of the cancer, staging, grade, lymph node involvement or not, whether or not your type of cancer requires any genetic testing, and if so, the results of that testing. All of these factors play into whether your team of doctors will recommend a LX or an MX. As has been pointed out, then there are your personal feelings about it and only you can decide what makes you most comfortable.Sandra, what wonderful news your BCO friend has given you! I feel that we all have our angels who are there for us at just the right moment, and she was surely the angel that delivered just the bit of information you needed at just the right time to put your mind at ease. That you were in touch with her to begin with was no accident. You "made" that happen with your generosity in offering her your support.
I still pray for my two breast cancer angels every day, and I tell them they are my angels every time I see them. I was diagnosed a little over a year ago and knew because of the aggressive nature of my cancer (triple negative) that I would be doing the heavy duty chemo & rads. One friend had been through the exact same chemo 23 years prior, and the other one had been through the same chemo 12 years prior. They both told me that they had no significant issues with the chemo. They tolerated it all - chemo, followed by radiation-very well indeed. I didn't want to think or read about anyone else's tough road with chemo. I knew that there were two personal friends who had done well on this chemo, and so would I!!! Their positivity gave me positivity.
Blessings to all, especially you Blondie. You are one tough cookie with a great spirit.
Paula
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Just want to report that it is SUNNY here and they are predicting 2-3 days more sun to follow. Whoopee!!!
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Hi Diane, glad you've joined the BEST support and BEST friends you could ever want. These women have been a constant source of good advice about all kinds of life challenges, silly discussions and cartoons, poignant messages, a little teasing here and there, fun posts with photos of things in our past, much talk about our families - good and bad, cooking, exercise or lack of it, gardening, travel, home renovation, and lots about our "fur babies." Sometimes we talk about cancer too. We have a variety of opinions on EVERYTHING and feel free to express them unless it's politics or religion...those are a no-no here.
I chose double mastectomy and have never been sorry. I was given my diagnosis on a Thursday afternoon and had to meet with the entire breast cancer team (one by one) on Monday morning. You can imagine how that weekend went. I chose several well respected websites - MD Anderson, Johns Hopkins, Cleveland Clinic, and Mayo Clinic - and started writing down the things they agreed upon and things they didn't. The things they agreed upon far outweighed the others. I put question marks in the margins to things I wanted to ask about or research further, erasing those marks when additional reading answered the question or made a situation clearer in my mind. By Monday I was ready. I knew that under no circumstances did I want radiation unless there was absolutely no choice. I have an aneurysm in the ascending aorta of my heart and an aortic valve that doesn't work right. Damage to the heart and other organs by radiation treatments is a fact and I wasn't willing to take a chance that it wouldn't make the situation worse. If I had a lumpectomy I would have to have radiation so that choice was out. I knew that while no one wants to lose a body part, my breasts had more than fulfilled their purpose and I would not be devastated to see them go. Although the tests showed cancer was only in one breast, I did not want to live the rest of my life worried about when or if the "other shoe would drop." It's a good thing I chose double mastectomy. The "good" breast was far from good and the pathology report showed it had another kind of cancer that had not been detected due to dense tissue - which no one had ever told me I had. I now know that this is unfortunately a common situation. Doctors in most states are now required to send patients with dense breast tissue a letter after they get a mammogram, telling them about the increased risk and advising additional testing. I have had no "buyers remorse" and know that while my choice was more aggressive than some other women would chose, for me it was right. The most important thing for you is to feel comfortable with your decision no matter what other women have done with your same diagnosis. Don't let doctors influence you to do something you aren't prepared for. They all have their personal preferences too.
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Did you have them?
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Yes Sandra --- I had those and they were such great fun. Actually, they didn't start out as mine. My sister, 15 months older than me got them one yr. for her birthday. She was not a well-co-ordinated person. She couldn't skate, ride a bike well, use our hoola hoop, or really do much of anything that required balance for any length of time. Since our family usually ( we were so close in age ) couldn't afford TWO of the same items --- I happily took over all the marvelous play-things of the slightly older child though I was actually the younger and mainly had them to myself.
I did go on to spend many happy hours at our local Roller Rink -- usually the far end person when it came time to play crack the whip ( thankfully we didn't do it too often ) but could stay on the rink for hours at a stretch and keep the beat of the music bouncing easily and making perfect turns at the corners. Hmmm, now, I'd imagine just looking at skates too long ( not even on my feet ) would likely be able to cause me possibly tipping over.
Jackie
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My kids went to the local roller rink, but when we were kids we mostly skated with sidewalk skates! Like the ones pictures they had metal wheels, you wore the key around your neck. Aah yes, hopscotch, roller skating, playing Monopoly and Go to the Head of the class on thr front stoop. We were outside all day in the summer. Those were the days. We learned to entertain ourselves!
Jean
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I had those skates and wish they would come back. I don't feel confident trying roller blades, but wouldn't mind skating a little on sidewalks.
Bonnets, And jump rope. Don't forget jump rope. I think learning to run in when 2 people are turning a rope is where I learned to merge in traffic. Same kind of timing.
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That's what I learned to skate on but don't have any now. Last time I roller skated at a local rink I fell on my bum and cracked my tail bone! Enough of that for me!
For those of you on this thread that have had a BMx, I would love to how you feel now that the ladies are gone. Do you feel that you have felt a sense of relief knowing that the chances of recurrence are lower? (I know there's no guarantee). How hard was the recovery after the double MX? I am a DDDD cup and if I have only one removed I will be so lopsided. Any thoughts?
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I am one who had a BMX...I have not regretted it one minute! One of my reasons was needing to think my chances of recurrence were lowered. I also had large breasts and felt that matching a prosthesis would be difficult. I didn't choose reconstruction because I didn't want to deal with extra surgeries/care and I'm 58 (almost 59) and wasn't worried about being flat.
My recovery hasn't been bad. I've had good range of motion from the beginning, pain hasn't been too bad, and I've healed well once my drains were removed.
I have been off work for 6 weeks and will be off one more, thinking the surgeon will at least release for that. I've had a few "issues", minor things, but nothing terrible.
All that to say that I don't regret my BMX a bit!
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Thank you Vanmama! Sounds like it's been pretty good, all things considered.
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Vanmama - you are a beacon light for such positive thinking. My admiration and good wishes go with you.
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Yes! Going back.... I had those skates, but mine had the metal wheels... And all around our neighborhood, we had "flag-stone" sidewalks, so they REALLY made a racket when we were out skating...
And did you gals clip those "cards" on your spokes on your bicycles with clothes-pins, to get that extra noise? Ha, ha! The neighborhoods were so DIFFERENT now, than when I was a kid... No-one playing out-doors anymore, and running up and down the blocks playing hide and go seek at night... and playing catch in the streets... I live in the same neighborhood I grew up in, and seeing so many old homes being "scraped" and 2-3 story flat town-homes taking their place... with no yards! Guess that's progress, but I don't know how this younger generation can afford these new homes! We bought ours for $24,000..... And now we get people stopping by wanting to buy for $350,000. It's the area... Pretty close to down-town Denver, and minutes away from the highway, and the Mountains....
It won't do US anygood, because we aren't leaving.... but it IS kind of fun being the "Seniors" of the neighborhood......
I'm just glad this old house will be with us as long as WE are here... And I have the biggest yard in the neighborhood, for all my gardens.
Morning Diane and Vanmama! Glad you guys are doing good! And good advice!
Jean, that is right! All those games, with all of our friends! I LOVED playing Jacks with my friends..! And then My one Daughter was the school champ... Hah!
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Good morning to all. Happy Lundi Gras. Lundi being Monday. I remember when there were no parades on Mon. before Fat Tuesday. It was a day to take a breather from all the revelry. But now there are parades on Monday. Today is a warmish day with highs in the 70's but rain is coming tonight and with it cold windy weather. Tomorrow--Mardi Gras day-- looks miserable. Very windy and highs in the 40's. I hope to be comfortable here in my house. I may work on our income tax return.
Diane, my eyes popped at your bra size! 4 D? I have already answered your question. I am happy with my choice of BMX with immediate reconstruction. I was never without "ladies."
I grew up in the country with dirt/gravel roads. No sidewalks or paved streets. So the only roller skating I did was at a rink. I was not a good skater and didn't go often enough to ever get good at skating. So that picture brings no nostalgia. I see some young people, mostly young women, skating on the paved bike paths up in MN during the summer. It looks like great exercise.
The YMCA where we exercise is closed tomorrow for Mardi Gras, so I will go this morning. This afternoon I will probably deal with laundry and do some house cleaning.
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Over the years I have come to believe that life is full of unchosen circumstances, that being human has to do with the evolution of our individual consciousness and with it, responsibilities for choice. Pain and joy both come with life. I believe that how we respond to what happens to us and around us shapes who we become and has to do with the psyche or the soul’s growth. -Jean Shinoda Bolen
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Morning all,
As to the question of double Mx. Had I needed to do one side I would have asked to do the double. I have not ever been overlg. but foolishly took hormones for the hot flashes -- the result, or so it seems to me in not so much size increase ( though there was some ) as the saggy, baggy droopy effect. Had I been REALLY aware of that possibility -- I might have toughed it out. Also, I don't know that the 'final' verdict was ever in since we and our responses are so individual, but I've always had some suspicion that taking hormones may have at some point encouraged cancer to begin. Just guessing on my part and not meant to 'warn' anyone.
So, I don't feel a huge attachment to needing breasts. One of the biggest reasons I was ok with just a lumpectomy at the time I needed my surgery was due to the fact that I had a stroke a few yrs. previous to the cancer. My tumors ( a second one was discovered during surgery ) were on the much weaker side and I had concerns about disturbing the tendons, muscles and connective tissue. Also, my surgeon did tell me that in fact, treatment is the same --- whether a breast (s) are removed or just a lumpectomy is done. So, many Dr.'s now advise ( though they will do whatever you the patient want ) breast sparing lumpectomies because if you need chemo and or radiation or both -- it will generally happen.
We did play a lot of hopscotch ( having all dirt sidewalks ) when younger. Like Carole, where I grew up was in the main all dirt roads -- farther out of town there was gravel leading to most of the farms or other connecting roads to towns around us. We did have one very long blacktop ( that was what we always called it too ) road. This was done as it was the MAIN road all the way through town. Everyone had a mail-box on that road and I think it was done mostly for the mail-man. I had in so many ways an ideal childhood -- catching fireflies ( we called them lightning bugs ) and putting them in a jar. Listening to toad frogs in the yard at night -- had to be careful going to the 'outhouse' or you'd step on them. Picking wild berries in several little out of the way places around town -- learning to swim in the mind pond. Had a foot or more of mud on the bottom and the water was ALWAYS muddy at the top. My ears were good then and I could always here insects ( too loud sometimes ) buzzing -- and such joy to wake up to birds chirping. There was such simplicity to being a carefree growing up kid then. Some days if I get quiet I still can find some of those joys.
Snow that started just about dark last night is falling still this a.m. Not deep and it is not frozen so moves away well with the snow shovel. We obviously are not getting through this winter without at least one 'deeper' snow -- though again, nothing remotely close to what so many others have gotten to the East coast areas. It is pretty out here in the country and something ( as long as it doesn't get too deep ) that can be enjoyed. I looked out my bedroom window when I first got up and saw where several deer had camped out for a rest on a flat spot in the big ravine next to the house. They looked comfy actually --- a really beautiful animal to watch when they are not disturbed by anything.
Hope you are all going to have a really good day.
Blessings
Jackie
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Jackie, I loved reading your memories. I too remember lightening bugs in a jar, toads, frogs, trips to the outhouse at my Aunt Edith's. I lived in town but we still knew who had berries and which patches were "safe" and which ones had the curmudgeon peeking behind the curtains, waiting to catch us in the act.
Eight years ago, my Mom was ill and my marriage was kaput, so I moved back to my childhood home to help Mom. When she passed, I stayed. A few years later my sister moved back home So now we share the old house where we grew up. It's such a comfort to see familiar sights out the living room windows. The neighbors are not the same but the sounds are. New kids race up and down the dead-end street. I love hearing their laughter and squeals. And there is nothing better than a stroll around the neighborhood on a soft summer night. Thanks for bringing that back to me on such a flipping cold day.
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