Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Anne, I will keep you & your family in my prayers. Hold the wonderful memories of your brother close to your heart & remember it's alright to grieve in your own way. I am so sorry for your loss.
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Anne,
May your brother rest in PEACE. I am sorry about your loss and his wife & family's loss.
Di
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Anne, I'm sorry you didn't get to see him one last time, but you were following orders. He sounds like he left a lot of good memories with the people he loved. Hugs.
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Incline us, O God! to think humbly of ourselves, to be saved only in the examination of our own conduct, to consider our fellow-creatures with kindness, and to judge of all they say and do with the charity which we would desire from them ourselves. - Jane Austen
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Di, so good to see you here. You know every time it rains I think of you. I hope things are good with you. We are having a couple of dry days after a whole lot of rain though more I think is on the way. Seems of late --- always rain for the Balloon Fest our little time has every yr. Big tradition. I know people here have heard if often --- how the balloons circle a pond we have in ou park where all the Fest activities take place --- and at dusk do a times balloon glow with all of the balloons reflecting in the pond. It is the prettiest thing to watch.
Also un-like many other places, we are not separated from the balloons and their pilots. We can walk right up, look in the gondola's, ask questions, feel the heat and draft when they fire them up and many can at certain times even get a ride in them. Not for me, no thanks.
Thinking as always of each of you and hoping that you will all have a great week-end with reasonable weather.
Blessings
Jackie
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You to Jackie. Enjoy those balloons! Post a picture!
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Jackie, Love Hot Air Balloons. Saw one out front the other night. We were able to take a tour that included the albuquerqe (spelling?} Festival. There were 600 balloons. Evening burn was great! I went up at a festival upstate about 10 years ago. When we had a dog, he used t alert us when the morning flights did a burn. Miss seeing them, no dog alarm!
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Anne I am so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a great guy and I'm glad you have the special memories of your last visit with him to comfort you now. I remember the pictures you posted of that visit and everyone looked to be having a ball! I'm sure his wife and the entire family will be grateful to have you with them now.
Sandra, thinking of you, Mike and Ryan and hoping that Mike is comfortable while you're helping Ryan. Please remember to take care of yourself too!
We are enjoying a few days at our house in Central Oregon with two of our grandchildren ages 6 &7. They're keeping us very busy with swimming, biking and just trying to keep up with them. The weather has been in the low 90s but the low humidity makes it feel more comfortable. It's much nicer than the 100 degrees that has been hanging over our home in Corvallis the past 2 days. Usually the hotter weather is over here so that is a bit strange, as is the 70s at the beaches!
Hope you all have a pleasant weekend and enjoy the ball on festival Jackie which sounds awesome!
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The jets (Blue Angels or Thunderbirds, I forget which) are taking advantage of the sunshine between the storms to practice for this weekend’s Air & Water Show. My cats have gotten used to the din. Last year, we went to the 95th fl. of the Hancock for brunch, and watched the jets streak past below us! Unfortunately, Bob is working this weekend, so no repeat. I recall last year’s brunch so vividly because it was the very last one before that fateful routine screening mammo just two days later. (And it was the last time I was able to squeeze into that 34FF balconnet bra, albeit with an extender--the culinary pity party culminating in weight gain began the morning after the mammo, when I got the report of the “focal asymmetry”).
I ran out to the deck to rescue the two tomatoes that were beginning to ripen from the possible clutches of the squirrels. There are a scant four still on the vine on the deck and two teeny ones and a blossom or two on the plants I moved down to the yard. I have enough green ones on my sill now that we can make it to Labor Day before we have to buy another tomato.
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You are goodness and mercy and compassion and understanding. You are peace and joy and light. You are forgiveness and patience, strength and courage, a helper in time of need, a comforter in time of sorrow, a healer in time of injury, a teacher in times of confusion. You are the deepest wisdom and the highest truth; the greatest peace and the grandest love.
You are all these things. And in moments of your life you have known yourself as these tings. Choose now to know yourself as these things always.
Neale Donald Walsch
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Anne so sorry for your loss
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Anne, what a shame that you didn't get to see your brother before he died but you did as you were asked. He sounds like a wonderful guy and I know you will miss him.
Mike isn't doing well. He started having diarrhea and blood in his urine last week. They called in some specialists but nothing was found. They finally did a CT scan. He has a complication called paralytic ileus which can happen after such drastic chemo. His gastrointestinal tract is damaged and has kind of given up. Anything he takes by mouth goes right through him. Poor guy has had grade 3 diarrhea for many days now. It is life threatening. They are pumping him with fluids, blood, platelets, and other meds designed to support him while he heals. He is too weak to take the top off of a small Gatorade bottle. He cannot get up without help. Three days ago he fell during the night while trying to make it to the bedside commode. He didn't make it. He couldn't get up so he just laid there for awhile because he couldn't reach the call button. Finally he pounded on a wall until a nurse heard it and came to help him. They have put on the bed alarm now so they are alerted if he is even trying to get up. Mike's weight is dropping again. He's lost 24 lbs in the 3 weeks we've been here and he was too thin to begin with. Before he was sick, Mike was usually 220-230 lbs. He got down to 178 before any treatment for MDS was begun in Jan. 2015 but after the bone marrow transplant in March, he had built back up to 203. He was 193 when we got to MD Anderson and now he's 169. The docs did another bone marrow biopsy Thursday so we should hear early next week if the percentage of leukemia is down. Mike is only half way through the first round so we don't expect much but even just a little would be a nice boost. He sleeps most of the time and has a thin, raspy, soft voice when awake. He has to take a nap after talking more than a sentence or two. It's heartbreaking.
Ryan is better. Last weekend was awful with him as he cycled through the bi-polar episode. I stayed until he seemed ok and wasn't having panic attacks, then drove back to Houston. Today I spoke to him on the phone and he was in tears because he's so worried about his father.
Allison is flying in for the weekend next Friday. She got one of those super-cheap flights. It will be good for her to see her father, even if it is through the glass.
On a positive note, the long awaited meeting with our very own Minus Two happened yesterday. Another of our BCO sisters, JbDayton, also met with us for lunch at a cute little place near Rice University. It's always a thrill to finally meet face to face after so many years of supporting one another on this site. Here's a photo of Jan (MinusTwo) and me yesterday. It was wonderful to feel the love from my BCO sisters. Thank you for a yummy lunch, Jan.
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Oh Sandra -- I'm glad you had a nice lunch out and could focus some energy on a friend and some enjoyable time together. I'm sorry to hear how much of a struggle Mike is going through at the moment. I do hope though he can turn the corner and get some good healing for his stomach issues. I'm sure it feels like you lost twice as much ground as you gain.
Glad to hear that Ryan got through his panics but I'm sure it is very hard on him to contemplate all the vagaries of the situation. Also so glad Allison will come and maybe it will bring some cheer to all --- and she will get to see her Dad.
Prayers for you and the family to be able to hang together in this tough period. Hoping for peaceful energies for all of you.
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I was so glad to have had a chance to meet Sandra and jbDayton. Meeting BCO members is just like meeting family. We had lots to talk about. Sandra - you know my thoughts are with you & Mike.
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Oh.......Dear Sandra,
Hubby and I spent the first week in August in Alaska cruising from Vancouver, BC to Whittier/Anchorage .
When we were in Glacier Bay, I thought of Mike and You being being there less than 2 years before, when we were all on the same cruise from Seattle round trip. I raised my hands to the heavens and talked to Mother Earth in that serene, majestic place, asking for healing for Mike as he goes through chemo.
(This year on the cruise I was in a transporter/wheelchair and it certainly changed my perspective on things )
I am sorry Mike is not well, with diarrhea....it's a Pain in the A__!
You can Tell Mike, I can relate as I had "D" for a few days short of 4 weeks when I had C-diff/severe sepsis.....and I know about "accidents"....in ER hallways, public restrooms, in my hospital bed, disposalable panties, hospital room floor.......enuff of a shitty subject!Does Mike get a break between rounds of chemo?
I wish all of you healing thoughts as Mike goes through this.
It was wonderful that you and MinusTwo and JbDayton all got to meet up for lunch.
Where are you staying in Houston?
I saw my oncologist this week and he still thinks I HAVE MDS (pre luekemia).....another bone marrow draw in the future.....for near future it is an iron infusion, an MRI of my leg, and find out what damage the severe sepsis did to my leg.
Love to you Sandra, and Tell Mike he served and protected our country, and he is to NEVER give up this fight!
Hugs to you & your tire family!
Di
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Sandra, continued prayers for Mike’s healing and Ryan’s equanimity--and your strength and comfort. So glad you got to meet MinusTwo & Jan!
Di, in your pocket for your health as well.
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The three hardest tasks in the world are neither
physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but
moral acts: to return love for hate, to include
the excluded, and to say, "I was wrong."
Sydney J. Harris0 -
Hi ladies. Just found this thread. I hope I can join you. I recognize some names and looking forward to getting to know you all!
Terri
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Welcome Terri/keepthefaith, of course you can join us. Our door is always open and the welcome mat out. Sundays can be slow. Sometimes a lot goes on here and sometimes we get a bit quiet. I am generally here everyday with a quote and lots of love and hope for all of our futures.
With that said --- hugs to Di and Sandra today and big hello's to everyone. We will be looking forward to seeing a lot more of you Terri.
Blessings
Jackie
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Welcom to all the new ladies,
Sandra, keeping you and your family in my prayers. It was great that you were able to meet minustwo and Jan.
Di, prayers your way for you health
Anne, so sorry for you loss. Keeping you and your family in my prayers
I havent been on for a while but trying to keep up with the post every few day. We had son and his family her this past week. Just found out he has been on medication for depression for a few months now. Not sure what is causing the depression at this time but hopefully he will stay on the medication. Finished finding our diningroom furniture now I have to finish up the living room.
We met a lot of our new neighbors on our street last week. One of the couples that have been here a little before us invited about 20 people from our street (most of the street is new people). It was great to meet them but I am not good at remembering peoples names.
I meet my new oncologist on Wednesday. This makes me very nervous.
Hope everyone has a great week.
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My condolences, Anne.
My thoughts are with you, Sandra. I hope Mike will rebound soon.
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Termite, depression is an illness, not a symptom. Occasionally, it can be situatiional (grief, loss, diagnosis of a serious disease, injury, disability, rejection, etc.) but most of the time there is no "cause" other than a chemical imbalance--either an insufficient amount of circulating endorphins in the blood or endorphin receptors in the brain, or something inhibiting those receptors' ability to access the endorphins (mainly serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine). It can start as early as childhood and as late as any time in adulthood (postpartum being the most common in women, aging the most common in men). Instead of searching for a "cause" and possibly second-guessing how it could have been prevented" (there is no way to prevent it), be glad your son has found help. I say this as the daughter of a depressed father, mother of a depressed son, and as a postpartum depression sufferer. Effective treatments weren't available to my dad until his final months of life, but my son (now 31) and I are doing well, courtesy of regular counseling and "better living through chemistry."
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After 5 major depressive episodes, I have elected to stay on antidepressants. My psych is going to have to pry them out of my cold dead hands. With me, the episodes are not triggered by events, they just come.
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William BILL" J. CARBERRY
Thought you might enjoy reading my brother's obit to see what others thought of him. The comments on Facebook number in the hundreds and each feel like they are close to him
Posted Aug 21, 2016 at 2:00 AM
March 12, 1944 - August 18, 2016
Goshen, NY
William "Bill" J. Carberry, 72 of Goshen, NY passed away on Thursday, August 18th at the Kaplan Family Hospice Residence in Newburgh, NY.
Bill was born in the Bronx on March 12, 1944, the son of the late Ethel and Hugh Carberry.
He is survived by his loving wife of 45 years, Noreen; his daughter, Kathy Miller and husband, Eric; his son, William Carberry and wife, Katti and by his grandchildren: Matthew and Michael Miller and Tim and Lukas Carberry, all of whom brought pure joy to his life. Bill is also survived by two sisters, Margie Mullen and Ann Bourne and brother, Robert; brothers-in-law, Edward Kneafsey and Robert Cunningham and sister-in-law, Mary Mullany and husband, Tom.
Bill was a retired member of the New York City Fire Department and the Holy Name Society and Emerald Society of the FDNY. He was an honorary member of the Dikeman Engine and Hose Co., Goshen, NY, and a U.S. Army Veteran and member of the American Legion.
Shortly after returning from Ft. Lewis in Washington, Bill became a firefighter with 27 Truck, FDNY in the Bronx, where he forged many wonderful friendships lasting until his final days. With the ending of a long and proud career with the FDNY, Bill was lucky to find a new 'home away from home' working at Donovan Funeral Home, finding great friends in owners Joe Donovan and Mark Johnston. In later years, Bill would pick up Joe and head to the Goshen Diner for their morning coffee with good friends - something he looked forward to until he was no longer physically able to go.
Known to be a great cook, the holidays with family feasts were always a highlight. As a big NY sports fan, Bill greatly enjoyed the ups and agonized with the downs of his Mets, Giants and Rangers throughout the years.
Above all, Bill loved spending time with his family. With the love of his life, Noreen, he took every opportunity to enjoy their children and grandchildren and share in their lives. His children knew him to be a brave man, and kind-hearted and supportive father who was always there for them.
Bill was cherished by his grandsons, imparting his character on each of them in special ways, perhaps his greatest lasting gift to us.
The family would like to say a special thank you to the nurses and staff at Kaplan's for taking such good care of Bill in his final days with us. Also a special thank you to his dear friend, Leo Levendos, who spent mornings keeping him company and helping him on his journey.
Bill will always be remembered for his kind and gentle way - may he rest in peace.
Visitation will be from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. Monday, August 22 at theDonovan Funeral Home, Inc., 82 South Church Street, Goshen, NY. A Mass of Christian Burial will be held 11 a.m. on Tuesday, August 23 at St. John the Evangelist R.C. Church, 71 Murray Ave, Goshen, NY. Burial will follow in the Orange County Veteran's Cemetery, Goshen, NY.
Anne
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This is my younger brother's FAceBook tribute.
Today, we lost a very special guy, my brother Bill. To say that he was loved by many would be a great understatement. There are so many words to describe him, but I believe the most truthful would be to say he was a kind and loyal gentleman. He was the greatest listener I have ever encountered. I don't believe I ever met anyone who knew him that didn't like him (a lot), or who didn't look forward to be in his company again (and again). A great singer of Irish songs. A brave and proud member of the NYFD. Our Lord undoubtedly knows he has taken from us one of His best works. He was a magnificent older brother who always set a very high bar for me to try to reach. My heart grieves for, and with, his wonderful wife Noreen, his two beautiful children Kathy and Billy, his four Grandsons and my two sisters. He will be sorely missed by so many. God Bless you Bill. You blessed us all with your presence.
Anne
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Anne - thank you for sharing. Wonderful tributes.
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I will not pray that each day be a perfect day, but I will pray not to lapse into indifference.I will not pray that each time I shall build both strong and true; but imperfect, I will pray for impulse that I may build anew. - Elbert Hubbard
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Thank you Anne,
He was a very special warm and kind person. How wonderful it must have been, how special to be in and a part of his life while he was being a huge part of al of yours. May everyone keep those beautiful memories forever.
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Anne, Just read your brothers Obit. Wish we were going to be home, I wud attend his wake and meet you. Small world. My son-in-law's father undoubtably knew him as he is active in the Goshen Fire dept. We live between Goshen and Middletown and my husband was a long time Goshenite. I know you will miss him.
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Hi from a very tired sister,
It is10:30 and we have just gotten home from the viewing. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen (except on TV when somebody important dies). We ( my sister and I) got to the funeral home about 1:40. Shortly after we got there, people started coming...and coming...and coming. The line of people did not have one break from 2-4:45.We were supposed to break at 4:00. We walked to a restaurant and were back to the funeral home by 6:45. Again,the line of people didn't stop. Most of the night, the line went out of the building and all the way around the side of the building. And no one who came claimed to be just a "friend". They were a close friend, a close neighbor, a close co-worker. A group of firemen came in full dress tonight and saluted him. I asked my cousin why some saluted him and others didn't. He said it was just a sign of respect. I think there were supposed to be bagpipes tonight but it was too busy. I cannot count how many hands I shook today. One thing that made it easier for my brother and I was that Billy did not look like Billy. The others had all been there while he declined in health, but even they said it did not look like him. Since he worked at the funeral home for many years, we finally decided they did the best they could. At first, we were saying that he should have been easy for them- they knew him so long, they didn't need a picture to go by. There just wasn't enough left of him to even shape his head right. His son,daughter and their spouses didn't move all day except to leave for dinner. His two high school grandsons stood with their parents the whole time. We took some breaks to sit down, and someone brought in a stool for his wife to sit on, but the rest of the family stood the whole time. Again it was amazing thing I have ever seen.
Bonnets, if your son-in-laws father knew my brother, he definitely knows my cousin, Jerry Killenberger. He was (or still is) the fire commissioner for Goshen. He is married to the cousin I have mentioned who is more like a sister than a cousin. They are my favorite people.I went to their house for dinner the night after I got here. Actually, I went over to visit and invited myself to dinner.
I am one overtired and sore puppy. Heading to bed so we can be back to the funeral home by 10am. Gonna be a tough day.
Anne
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