Anyone let their hair go gray?
"Does she or doesn't she?" It's pretty obvious that I DO color my hair and I'm thinking about stopping. I only started to color my hair about 5 years ago (when I went through menopause) and even if there are no scientific studies to prove it, I suspect the chemicals may have been partly responsible for my Her2+++ tumor (that as well as exposure to DDT when I was a pre-teen.) I didn't lose my hair during chemo - it got a bit thinner, but since it's so thick, no one noticed. Also - no matter what my colorist does, because of my swimming, my hair ends up losing color and looking brassy (even though I use tons of conditioner and wear two bathing caps).
The summer will be a good time for me to let my hair grow out - a woman I work with did it several years ago, and her hair is a gorgeous silver/gray. My problem is I have no clue what color my gray will be........will it be pepper & salt...........will it be white on top and dark in the back.........this is going to take some courage and patience.........I am using as my role model my mom who never colored her hair - and also a friend who let hers grow out and has the most beautiful pepper and salt. I have a light complexion and blue/green eyes and my natural hair color is dark brown. Somehow I just feel that nature intends for our hair to go naturally gray - the lighter color will enhance my skin tone I think.
Has anyone else gone through this - I need some tips on how to keep up my hair's appearance during this awkward growing-out stage! I found the following info on Google - but would love to hear from my sisters here - including anyone who grew out their gray and was disappointed.
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The following came from this web site: http://www.ehow.com/how_2077845_style-gray-hair.html
Instructions
- Step 1
Keep your gray hair natural if most of the hair has changed. You can stop coloring your hair when at least half of your hair has changed to gray. If only a small portion is gray, consider coloring your hair.
- Step 2
Consider a longer hairstyle. A longer cut brings less attention to the gray and can give you a more youthful appearance.
- Step 3
Go really short instead of mid-length. Mid-length bobs can age a woman with gray hair. If you want to have shorter hair, opt for an edgier, very short cut. A very short cut will also get rid of any old hair color.
- Step 4
Use gel to style your hair. Hair gel won't dry out your gray hair and can be used in very small amounts. It will smooth out any flyaways that you may experience.
- Step 5
Experiment with different styles. You may know what hairstyles looks best on you, but try out different cuts and styles to find the one that suits you with your gray hair.
Comments
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Swim -- here's a thought: go to a wig salon and try on different grey wigs to see what they look like with your skin tone. That might give you an idea of how you'll look "au naturel".
I have very few grey hairs (my natural colour is dark brown) so I've been using a henna (Colora Creme - mahogany) which makes my few grey hairs look like blonde highlights and provides a lovely richness to my hair. It's a natural product -- no nasties in it! - and really does look natural.
By the way, if you go the henna route, there are several products, and several colours, but always purchase the pre-mixed stuff, otherwise you'll go crazy trying to wash out the grittiness.
Cheers! Linda
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Great idea about the wigs Linda - and about the henna, I would never have thought of it! I wonder if the henna would help when my roots start s howing? I'll definitely give it a try - thanks for the suggestion!
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My sister went gray finally last year. She looked stunning! Kept her make up the same. But lately she's stopped wearing make up and her hair is at her shoulders and she looks like a hag! I was interested to see the notes above that said try longer, then said do shorter!
I'm looking forward to growing gray as my DH has been all gray for years. I don't have enough yet to make it look pretty and not just flat.
Don't let the gray wash you out. But do remember, it is natural for our hair to lighten as we get older to soften our look. That's why really older women with really dark hair look like witches! Your hair colour doesn't have a hope in hell against chlorine.....
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I was an early-grayer and I never thought about coloring.
Now, after Dx, I think about it even less. I guess for me, it isn't so much worry about what the chemicals may or may not do. I am lazy by nature and my hair grows fast. The thought of having to touch up every 3-4 weeks is laughable for my lifestyle. I also have very sensitive skin and I am not about to test patch each time I would touch up.
And most of all, I am cheap. Why spend money on something that isn't necessary.
Would I look younger...well..maybe a few years, but I won't fool anyone. I guess the icing on the cake was looking at my neighbor. I adore her, but her bright orange hair (she's in her 60s) screams "i'm hiding my age." I've opted to just let people think what they want.
I think after the Dx, I'm more inclined to live truer....
p.s. My DH loves my gray hair!
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You ladies are giving me courage, thanks so much for sharing your stories! I spoke to my DH about it and he's very supportive of whatever makes me happy. His own hair is slowly becoming pepper 'n salt........I like the idea of matching him. I have a wedding in September - I wonder how my hair will look by then if I just let it go?
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Well, I am one who colors her hair. I don't know how gray I am and I don't want to find out. My natural color is medium brown and the color I use has a lot of red. I like the way it shines in the light. My accupunturist has gray hair and she always gives me a hard time about coloring my hair.
Just not ready to stop.
It will be a heck of a lot cheaper when I decide it is time to stop coloring my hair.0 -
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This thread caught my eye....I was diagnosed at 44 and started going gray in my early 30's (when I had my kids - any connection?!). I have been doing 6 months of CMF chemo - hair thins, but doesn't completely fall out and my oncologist said DON'T color your hair during chemo or it could fall out. So, I have been going gray.
I have had MORE compliments since letting my hair start to go gray. It is very noticable in the front - not so much in the back. I had it colored on January 5th - started chemo on January 7th. By May it was not looking so great unless it was pulled back. So, my colorist foiled non toxic (no ammonia or harsh chemicals) color into the grey to blend it. We color tested some areas first to make sure my hair did not fall out, and it was fine. It really looks good - the break of mixed gray and dark vs. all dark is much less noticable. My hair is (was?) very dark and wavy, so the wavyness may help make it hard to notice.
I am going to keep the gray. I have good skin and wear plenty of makeup so that I think I look pretty good. I guess it may make me look older, but I really don't think so. I was SO TIRED of having to go in to have my roots touched up all of the time.
My husband and kids are fine with it - I think they are just happy to have me here - I'm sure you all know what I mean!
No studies have linked hair color to breast cancer, but I figure why expose myself to more chemicals.
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Swim -- When my hair first changed I used henna and liked the highlights. Later I tried frosted. But I was never a fan of roots showing or spending a Saturday afternoon in a salon chair. I was always more a fan of the natural look. I keep my nails short too, square tips with neutral colors to keep them from breaking when I clean, garden or type.
My hair grows fast and that gives me an option to change the shape if I want. But I usually come back to the basic cut with some variation on fringe, etc.
Over the last ten or so years, I've worn it short, wash and wear, without color. I trust my hair dresser. It's not easy to cut short well. She does. It grows in very nicely and that is the tell of a good cut. I get about a month of so before I return, depending on the season.
My husband tells me that I look at least ten years younger. He doesn't like it when I get the urge to let it grow. I'm usually happier with it short too.
My hair thinned when I had rads (and on body parts that surprised me!) I didn't get chemo. All came back.
Best wishes to all as always
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This topic caught my eye. My avitar is a picture of myself and my mother. She colored her hair while I was in high school (her grandfather was totally white/silver by the time he was in his early 30's). She stopped coloring it and friends would ask her where she got her highlites. She has been totally white headed for many years. Although people don't believe her when she tells them her age. My photo doesn't show my white/silver but I have quite a few of them. A couple of years ago I had my hair cut and my husband commented that he liked the highlights that the beautician put in . . . I smacked him because I thought he was making fun of the silver shining in my hair, until a couple of days later and a close friend also commented that she liked my highlights. And people don't believe that I have a son who will be 24 tomorrow. My older sister has quite a bit more silver/white than I do and she gets her hair colored every 4-5 months with me doing the sister thing and touching up her roots every 3-4 weeks inbetween her coloring.
I have some of the hot pink polish that I use mainly at halloween but normally I use a subtle white/irridescent polish.
Sheila
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Well, I let my hair go "natural" when I was in my very early 50's! Never regretted it! It was light brown to begin with; so never really salt & pepper. I'd recommend keeping it short as you get rid of the colored hair faster that way. I think you will find your hair will be a whole lot healthier once you stop coloring it. As it grays it gets a lot dryer and coloring it drys it out even more. Problem for me is that I am fair skinned with blue eyes. With the white (now) hair and brows and blue eyes, I have no face. I really need to take the time to put on make-up and mascara and lipstick. Go for it!! You won't regret it!!
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Im darker skinned with really dark brown hair...I have colored it since my early 20's as I was going gray in high school. My hair is long, about 1/2 way down my back and my partner loves it so cutting it isnt an option but he says that he thinks I would look lovely with salt & pepper hair.
Now after all the life changing events that one experiences I too have decided its time to see what is really under that bottle of Nutriesse #53.....Kind of scary as I had always said I wouldnt do it until I turned 50....well, Im almost there now at 48 and my sweetie swears beyond a doubt he will love me for me so here goes!!!!!
I started letting it grow about 2 months ago and now have roots!!!!!!! Do any of you have any suggestions on what to use to tone them down until everything grows????
I really think I can do this if I can figure out a way to tone down the roots until the rest can catch up.....
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Good questoin Jpann39 - I'll be looking for the answer in a couple of months too - I HATE a line of demarcation between the roots and the colored hair!
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I kept my hair frosted as I was growing it out and as I got more gray, frosted it less until eventually it was all natural. I really liked my hair gray and got lots of complitments on it. The girl who cuts my hair always said, Do you realize there are women who pay for hair this color. Now I have no hair, ( well, just a layer of fuzz) and for some strange reason the dark ones I had came out sooner and faster than the white ones so I am thinking gray hair must be strong. I decided to let it grow out after seeing some really beautiful gray hair, including Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada....was afraid of what it would look like, but it really looked good. Also, I went to a class reunion and no one had gray hair and I found myself thinking, Who do we think we are kidding?
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marybe, my stylist also told me the same thing about about women paying to get their hair frosted the way my hair looks. That one thing is keeping me from coloring my hair just thinking that others would pay to get this color and mine is all natural.
Sheila
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I wore my hair frosted for years to cover the gray when I was younger and wore it short...it is an idea to try it again, although the last time I tried the frost I didnt like it so colored it over within a couple of days. I thought it made me look older.
I received and pm here from a sister that suggested using a foil with dark dye as the roots grow our so there isnt that ledge of prominent color...I might have my daughter do this and see how that goes...
All else failing I will just wear it pulled back and hope it grows quickly!!!!
Best of luck to everyone....maybe we should start posting pics of our progress.
Jule
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Jule, I was wondering about using the dark rinses that do wash out to cover some of the grey while it is growing out. I remember my mom using that when she was letting her hair grow out many, many moons ago. I will look an see if they still make those rinses.
Sheila
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Sheila
It would be really cool if I could find something like that....I did think of looking for something like that but I have a memory of when I was about 8-10 yrs old and there was this "older" lady that use to walk everywhere she went...she was very regal in my eyes then but I also remember that her hair was snow white and every once in awhile she would add a rinse to her hair....to me it always made her white hair look blue...of course the bright red lip stick she used was always amazing to me as well....her look stuck well in my brain and I have NO intension of looking like that as I gracefully age!!!!!
Isnt it funny the things that leave an impression on us when we were children? but the memories of that lady are warm, snuggly ones so I do have to say that even though I never knew her personally she always made me smile when we would pass her in the store or on the street.
Jule
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Jule, I too remember the 'blue haired ladies' and I don't want to become one of them either. I don't know what they were trying to hide with the blue rinses. Although the white/silver hair can pick up minerals from the water and make the white/silver dingy or yellowed in apperance. My grandmother has had white hair as long as I can remember and I don't think she used any type of rinse in her hair and she is still going at 95 yrs old.
Sheila
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Hey girl, been going gray since 23. Roots grow out pure white every 3 weeks. Bumble and Bumble makes a spray in color powder that is quite pricey, but works well to cover between colors. Also have a leave in product that is liquid Roux Fanci-Full that works ok, too. I've been considering going natural, too. Let me know how it goes. Patty
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Some great ideas here - thanks everyone!
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Post pics! Post pics! You can be an inspiration to so many others!
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Hi, swim--how are ya doing?
I let my hair go gray. That's kind of a joke, because I've never colored my hair. But, I am posting because I haven't done anything to change the color as it has grown back after last year's chemo adventure. I had Taxotere & Cytoxan, which, as most everyone knows, made every last strand of my hair fall out.
My hair has always been a medium brown with red highlights. The red highlights have been more or less visible, depending on my age and how much sun I've been getting. I am 57, and I have had some gray at my temples for maybe 5 years. My hair is stick-straight, and my hairstyle for the past, oh, 30 years or so has been a chin-length bob. (See my profile pic on FB for an example.)
I am a year past my last chemo, and my hair is maybe 2-1/2 inches long. (I've had it trimmed twice, to take off the curliest ends.) What has amazed me is that I have no more gray now, than I did pre-chemo. My hair has grown back the same color that it was before. Okay, I might have a bit more gray at the temples, but I would expect that with another year of age.
There are some differences. Now, my hair is drier than it was pre-chemo, and it seems much finer (my hairdresser agrees). Also, it is thinner--my scalp shows through much more, so I can't wear a side part like I did before. It is still curly, but the curls are gradually growing out. The remaining curl gives my still-short hair more body than it ever would have had pre-chemo. But, it isn't as shiny as it was before. That might be because of the curl, though, which tends to frizz in our hot, humid climate. I sometimes use a leave-in conditioner that I like a lot.
I think the thinness and texture change are from the Arimidex I'm taking. I don't want to risk breakage or splitting, so I'm not going to mess with the color or curl. I am liking this shorter style--it's much easier to take care of than the chin-length bob, especially now that it's 99 degrees outside.
BTW, my dh hates colored hair. I think it has something to do with an ex-wife in his previous life... I also think I notice it more when I see women my age and older who obviously color their hair, especially if it is a monotone. Hair isn't supposed to be all one color, even before it turns gray...is it?
At my age, I have no problems with graying hair. I think I've earned it. OTOH, whether or not it improves our appearance depends on how we style it. I have a relative who is younger than I am but has been coloring her hair for more than 10 years. She recently stopped coloring it. Her hair is quite a bit longer than mine, and has way more gray than mine. I think it's going to take me awhile to stop looking at her and wondering how she aged so much in such a short time.
otter
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I agree Otter about the monotone color - natural looking hair usually does have different colors. I'm sending you a PM so I can be-friend you on facebook! And Barbe - I still haven't posted any photos on TimTam's site...........I might do it when I get my "fipple" if I'm brave enough!
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Don't want to see your boobies Swim! Just your graying out process
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I have a funny/unusual question about grey/silver/white hair. I know that hairs turn grey (loses it's pigment) at the roots first and the lack of color grows out from there. So the hairs should be dark on the tip and grey/silver/white at the folicle end. I just found a hair (about 3 inch long) on my keyboard that is dark at the tip (about 3/8 inch), silver/white in the middle and about 1/2 an inch up from the folicle it is dark. I haven't changed my diet or hair care products any. What would cause this change in the hair color?
Sheila
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Hmmm thats a good question Sheila...although I have absolutely NO idea about the changes in hair color....unless it comes from a box obviously
...now you will have me looking at each hair I find...its seems that tamox has started doing its business with thinning...although I have thick heavy hair so it will be a long time before I need to worry about thinning....or at least I hope it is!!!!!!Did you have any luck with finding out if they still make those wash in/out rinses?? I havent had time but hope to be able to research it a bit this weekend.
Jule
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I haven't been to the store this week to look about it but Patti mentioned something called Fanci-full and I think that is what my mom used
.And I haven't touched a box color for my hair in at least 4 yrs and then it was a temporary color for halloween. so it isn't that.
Sheila
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Thanks Sheila...
I did see that from Patty(Hi girlfriend, hope all is well with you)....but forgot...
I will look the Fanci-full up on the net and see what it says.
Jule
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A woman I know at work has gradually been lightening her hair until it's nearly blonde. I can't help but feel she's getting it "ready" for a new look in September - that she may show up with gray. It WOULD be less startling to people if they saw your hair going from blonde (or blondish highlights) to gray (or gray strands) don't you think? Maybe I'll take that road - start highlighting so the roots don't look so obvoius as they grow in. Decisions decision! 0
