MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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NAG A RAM 
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I just can not resist.... Rama Lama Ding Dong. Although I expect many of you are too young to remember the Edsels.
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Bless you, Minus Two! Long time since I was referred to as young!
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Football, my reaction to the boobectomy was similar. I fully appreciate that it can be extremely difficult for some women, but I also think it is important to keep a wide-open mind to the possibility that XYZ is not all that difficult for a given person. Basically avoid falling into how you "should" feel, in the negative or the positive direction and go with how you actually feel, for better or worse.
I have serious needle phobia too, I mean really bad, but I got through 8 chemos and countless blood draws, dye injections etc. anyway. I didn't like the needle part much, but I got through it.
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Momine, how very astute that comment about "how you feel" is!! I was actually LAMBASTED on several posts when my journey first started about how calm and accepting I was about my DBMX!! I was told I should be seeking the help of a psychiatrist and that I was in denial and all sorts of crap. This forum years ago had a lot of whining and complaining on it. A lot of posts were just "cut and paste" from Google with facts on certain topics. There wasn't the bountiful information of pages and pages of facts that are here now on bco. I would relate much better with the "true" stories of what women were really going through and got much more from that information. I would get PMs from some members asking why I felt it necessary to post about "my story" instead of just agreeing about the person who felt the need to post incorrect information! There was a lot of smoke being blown up a lot of asses in those days!!! I still remember the names of about 5 of the gals...some who have gone on to change their screen names....
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Eli- thanks for continuing to make me laugh. You have a way with words...
Yes, I checked in with Mr. Google and discovered that an estradiol reading of 234 is NOT EVEN CLOSE to menopausal. I read that 30 or below is the indicator. So apparently my one ovary (other removed years ago with a gigantic cyst) has really stepped up to the plate, Lone Survivor-like. Tamoxifen has apparently stopped my periods for almost a year now, so my onc thought I would be about ready to switch to Arimidex. Not yet. Fifty-five and full of E-juice.
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barbe1958 -
I am shocked that fellow sisters on this site would attack you for how you handled your "personal" journey with BC. There is no right or wrong way to react to getting smacked upside the head with a diagnosis of BC. It's ok to scream bloody murder and it's ok to be calm and plotting and it's ok to be somewhere in-between and it's ok to be all of the above. Sorry you had to go through PMs and posts that told you how you should act and react. You obviously have chosen to rise above it all.
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i agree, barb, that is incredibly sad to hear that! i was temted to go back and read from yhe beginning, but that would be a daunting task! 900 pages! a book! glad you stuck around, anyway!
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Barbe is so right. Everyone has to deal with BC in their own way(s), one no more right than the other. A person usually goes thru' something like the stages of grief too, at least in that the feelings can change over time as you move thru' the treatment and beyond. We can't allow ourselves to be boxed in to narrow categories of what others think the right reactions are.
That being said, I do admit to attempting to calm down many of the ones who write in panic while waiting for biopsy results. I know it is a fearful time, but half of them turn out to be B9, and they bring on a lot more anxiety onto themselves, mostly due to lack of information. It doesn't do any good and sometimes they just need to be "talked off the ledge."
kathec, I don't think Barbe was referring to posts on this thread, where the differences of opinion usually end in just agreeing to disagree. We remain, after 900+ pages, to be what someone once called a "catfight-free zone." Of course, you are still welcome to read from page one, next time you have a month to spare.
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Whew....lots to catch up with! Loved reading a bunch of good test results. Belated welcome to a couple newbies, glad you found this thread. I'll try to post more, including big pics, to help get us to 1,000 pages! Using iPad now though so not today! Babysitting grandson...first overnight'er. DD and husband went to a nearby resort for their anniversary. I will be one tired and sore MomMom by noon tomorrow, but treasuring the time with Cole since we don't see him that often. The angel is napping at the moment, testing up so he'll have enough energy to run me ragged later!
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend
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i love catfight free zones!
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It wasn't on this thread that I got slammed!! It was probably on a thread talking about mastectomies or the surgical procedure - what to expect, something like that. I wish I'd known before my surgery how relatively pain-free the procedure was going to be! I'd had a horrid experience with my hysterectomy and a pain pump years earlier and was horrified to find out I wouldn't be getting a pain pump with my masts. Turns out that because there are no bones, muscles or organs involved in a mast without reconstruction that it's kind of just like a "really big paper cut" (as per my surgeon). I was pleased and wanted to reassure others that pain was not going to be an obstacle they needed to fear. I know we all feel pain differently, but I have Fibromyalgia which means pain is multiplied 10X and more!!- so to be comfortable enough to leave the hospital without pain meds was a HUGE relief to me.
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Barbe, I am amazed by description and pain tolerance! For me, cutting thru the pecs was hardly a "really big paper cut" (3 times) but agreed, never needed the use of a pain pump. I know, I'm a whimp!
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well, ladies - i will never ask "why me?" and I won't let BC take my life from me in any way without a fight, but i don't think i will ever feel like it was a "blessing". Surely a less drastic wake up call would have been appreciated
my anger is not that I have to go through this - but that, after all these years - at least my lifetime - after all the millions of dollars thrown at it - they have not come up with a better "cure" than this - one that's leaves so many with lifetime scars and side effects. SO many unknowns to deal with - including why 1 out of 8 women are affected. Constantly told that "everyone is different" while undergoing treatment that is based on statistics of how many women reacted the same.
rollercoaster of emotion?? agreed - more tears shed than in my entire 57 years - you better believe it - received wonderful support from family, friends & caregivers? most of the time
but an experience I would have gladly lived without & would not wish on ANYONE
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My son and I had an interesting talk the other day. He reflected that when patients react differently than as expected, doctors are reluctant to see them as falsifying what the doctor has already learned and internalized but rather see the patient as the aberration. It led to a whole discussion about the "standard of care" being based on statistical results coming up with a concept of "average" patient, but who actually fits the exact statistical mold of average patient? Very few, if any.
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mastectomy withut reconstruction is what i would do, if it ever comes back. because since lumpectomy, and 'tissue rearrangement' there is one rather large lump, way bigger than the cancer itself, under the scar. and the rest of the breast seems to feel really lumpy, too. and i did develop a seroma in the axilla, even before drain was removed, and one in the breast itself too. plus, i think that whatever happened to me, during surgery, all of my muscles were screaming at me. When they said i could go, i tearfully told surgeon that i didnt feel like i could go home in that shape, and she prescribed me pain killers. i did develop LE pretty quickly too. i was a mess. so i was just wondering if there is more pain involved, with a lumpy as opposed to mastectomy. But like Elimar says, who knows? and what is normal? that sounds like a very interesting conversation that you had with your son, i would have loved to be sitting there, too!
barbe, glad to hear that that didn't happen on this thread!
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2nd time, why did they cut through your pecs!!! Did you get a TE installed? My comment did say "without reconstruction". There is NO reason to cut through pecs for a modified radical mastectomy.
I never asked "why me?" either. I figured I took one for the team - the team that had daughters and daughters in law in it!! If I didn't get the hit, then one of them might have. As for blessings...NOPE...not me either. Sorry, I appreciated life just like it was just fine thanks. I didn't need a reminder of my mortality to bring me closer to my God or my family!
As for "normal", we know that 85% of all medical data is based on a 40 year old male weighing 170 pounds or something like that. So of course they don't know what to do with us females who know how to describe what's going on in our bodies. I'm sure the medical industry was told that period cramps don't really hurt, either....
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I saw this on FB and thought of this thread.
I am sorry you had to go thru that Barbe. One of the best things I like about this place is that it taught me no matter what i was or am feeling it is ok. I really needed that.
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barbe, love it! & i am stealing your quote!
good sleep for all!!
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Just popping in to say Hi as I haven't been here in a while.
Last week Wednesday I had my 6-mo ck-up & I'm happy to report everything is A-OK. I had a good discussion with my Onc & I have decided to remain on Aromasin, possibly for up to ten years. She told me she would have recommended it for a BC patient who is at high risk & even though I am at low risk, I have had few SE's & am tolerating it well. My CA 27.29 was at 13.1 & since I have been in the normal range for this past five years, she does not order that beyond 5 years. She did order an update on my Vitamin D, so I am curious to learn how I have fared the last 1 1/2 years, with Sept 2012 result being 85.4.
I hope this posts for me, after 3 times trying last night to post on another thread, I gave up.
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2nd time, I am also confused about the pecs comment.
Kathec, I think it varies wildly how you respond to surgery. I also think it depends to some extent on the skill of the surgeon. I had a C-section 20+ years ago, performed by a resident learning how to operate. My recovery was horrible, I developed a massive infection, crippling post-op pain, permanent disfigurement and chronic pain.
My cancer surgeries (surgical biopsy, BMX, hyster) were a breeze in comparison. The hyster surgeon even got rid of the pain and disfigurement from the C-section. My breast surgeon is a perfectionist control freak. It must be hell to be married to him, but I will take him for a surgeon any day.
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oops, have to admit I missed the "without reconstruction" part (that's what I get for posting when I just woke up from a nap!). I did do the recon route, that's what I made a mistake about.
My first mx was not pain-free! Even though no recon then, it was back before SNB, when they removed all lymph nodes. That was just as painful as the mx (no separate incision, they took them somehow internally from the mx site), so glad they don't do that anymore.
Sorry, I messed up.
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2nd time, thanks for clarifying that. The pain of reconstruction is one of the reasons I didn't go for it. With Fibromyalgia I just can't mess around with anything that might add to my pain load. I have a VERY low tolerance for pain with FM so you can understand my fear, I hope. As for the SNB, I agree that the node removal area was the most painful! My surgeon says they have to dig around to find the marked nodes, so maybe just getting them out like you did would have been even better!
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Good morning all!!!!
This past weekend I went shopping at la vie en rose and bought boobs!! Lol. My surgeon recommended that I go there to buy bras right now since the forms that come with the bras are very lightweight. What a great product!
I'm sitting in my car dealership now getting my car serviced and my boobs are hanging in the bathroom at home because I had to was them. So here I am bring me!! Lol. Boob free!!
Except that my right boob that never was now is because the skin had stretched due to my years of having an implant. My hubby calls it my moob for mini boob. Lol.
I seem to be healing well from the surgery. Still a bit of fluid hanging around. My surgeon told meant week if I swell up again to call him so that he can remove more. What I ament with now is not nearly as much as last week so I'm thinking that I should just wait it out
I meet with a MO tomorrow for a consult. I am now 3 weeks since surgery and am okay. I do get tired if I plan what was a regular day for me - up at 6:30 and go go go
I now find that I am ready to go by 10 or so then still cannot do things as quickly as I had
So we are planning a trip to Montreal and NYC by train which will include some hockey games. Maybe a bus trip to Atlantic city. This should be nice and relaxing because we wont the driving and have no deadlines!!
Hopefully it won't result in delays for treatment. I'll chat with the MO about it. We really need a break!!
You are all wonderful and help to keep me upbeat. I did cry for 5 minutes yesterday. Other than that it's rock n roll!
I've for drafts for 2 songs about this journey which I hope to record at some point. If this ever happens I'll let you know
:-)
Have a great day!!!!!
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Val, We've got a rally going on with all the good results lately on blood tests. Congrats! That is a nice high number for the Vit. D. Do you supplement? Tanning bed? Milkaholic? Can't be because you are a field hand (because that still wouldn't work mid-Winter in MI.) Tell us your secret.
I briefly ask "why me?" But then I looked over the list of things that added to risk and hardly any applied to me; and I looked over the list of things to lower risk and I could check off quite a few. I realized I would not be getting an answer to the question. For me, I think just the usual being a woman, aging, and randomness were at the root of it. One in eight. I felt like I took "the bullet" for seven friends. Now my best friend is Stage IV. Between us, does that mean 14 friends are safe? It sure doesn't seem like it.
Both my friend and I love to collect rocks. She reminded me that, years ago, she brought back some lava from three different Hawaiian islands for herself and for me. Supposedly the Hawaiian gods don't like that and you are cursed if you remove them from the islands. Could that be it? A Hawaiian lava curse?
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Football, you'll have to correct your DH; MOOBS are man-boobs! Small boobs are booblets. Go on your trip! You don't need the blessing of your MO!!!
e - you'd think the Hawaiian gods would be thrilled that their rocks were being taken as souvenirs...silly gods!
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yeah the gods go traveling with their rocks, i think they like it when you take em. i love rocks too.
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FBN, thanks for the chuckle and smile! Enjoy your trip!
Just to let you know: it's gorgeous here today so I decided to wash my car - the one my hubby drives (or, after this weekend, POS hubby = POSH). I thought it would be a piece of cake, after all, in 2 weeks it will be one year since TE exchange (with revision on one side in July). Shortly after starting, realized it was stoopid, stoopid i started. Still have T-Rex Syndrome arms, thankfully I have step stools to help, but still lots of pain now. Looks like a recliner day for me! And 10 lashes for being a doormat by doing something nice for him after all the crap I got from him this weekend
Barbe, thanks for the description, 16 years of half-chest (1 foob form)
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2TA, Washing a car? We have chore boys to do that stuff. Let me send one your way immediately!
lovewins, What happened to those PUNS???? They have gone missing. I love puns.
I'm getting a DEXA (bone density) scan on Weds. just for fun. It might be interesting because the last one I had, I was menopausal for less than a year and on Tamoxifen. This one is going to be all me, no additives, no preservatives.
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