Latissimus Dorsi Breast Reconstruction
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Warrior Woman, you are beautiful...inside and out! The SE's...ugh. I'm on Aromasin too, and Zolodex injections. My children are my best distraction and medicine. A puppy would be fun, but I think the work involved would put me over the edge!
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Wildtulip, you're doing fabulous in your recovery. This surgery isn't easy. I've had several surgeries including 2 major abdominal procedures in addition to the BMX and lat flap. I don't normally need much in the way of pain meds once I'm home, but I had to take something at night for about a month after the lat flap or else I'd wake up in pain. I was fine during the day, but trying to move while lying down was very painful. I also slept propped up on a futon for about month.
Elise, I've got the football shaped flap. I didn't want it. I talked to one surgeon who said he could try to give me the small round flap like WarriorWoman had, but in the end I opted for the surgeon who had more years of experience. I also just got a better vibe from him and his whole office. The younger guy also recommended doing the lat flap on both sides to achieve better symmetry. That seemed like a lot of unnecessary surgery to me. I didn't want to lose 1 muscle much less 2. I only decided to go ahead with the procedure because I could not abide the way I looked flat. I think I chose the right surgeon because I had no complications at all. It might have been the same with the other surgeon, but who knows. I also have good cosmetic results. In clothes, I look pretty darn good, and I don't have to wear a bra.(the silver lining to this ordeal). I'm not perfectly symmetrical, but probably nobody notices except me. I do have scars and the flap of skin that doesn't match. It's paler than the surrounding skin which was darkened by radiation. The difference isn't as bad as it was initially, but I think it will always be noticeable if for no other reason than the distinct border the scars make between the 2 types of skin. (If I get brave, maybe I'll post a photo here. I don't have any glamour shots like WarriorWoman though. In the meantime, if you're on the picture forum, all my photos from beginning to end are posted there.) Tomorrow I'm finally getting my nipple/areola tattoos. I had the nipples surgically constructed in January. (Warrior, I'd have liked to have watched, but I was asleep maybe because I was also getting some fat grafting.) I've been told that having the tattoos will distract the eye from the scars, etc. We'll see. I'm not ready to buy into that theory yet. In fact, I'm considering some decorative tats to camouflage the unattractive bits, and this is from someone who has never liked, much less considered having, tattoos. It may depend on what the artist things she can do with my ideas.
I have a lot of respect for those of you going through all this while dealing with college, new jobs, children to care for, etc. All I had was a job I've been at for 12 years. Even there, it was uncomfortable when I was scheduling time off for reconstruction. Fortunately, everyone was tactful, and didn't come right out and ask what kind of surgery I was having.
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Warrior Woman, I went to get fitted at Victoria's Secret. I needed a bra because I didn't feel right that my nipples were poking and showing through the fabric of tops when I was in "serious" occasions - our nipples don't retract anymore and it can be embarassing sometimes. After many unsuccessful attempts to find a bra for myself, I went to VS and explained the ladies there what I need. They were extremely helpful, told me it's only normal as a reconstructed breast fills a bra differently than a natural one, and that they are happy to help breast cancer survivors find their bra. One of them brought a dozen different bras and stayed with me in the fitting room helping me getting the bras on and off until we found the one that was fitting me (it was a Dream Angels brand). Then they gave me a little pink card with the brand and the sizes so I'd know what to look for. They even gave me a special discount of 20% and a free pair of lace panties to match the bra! I had a wonderful experience and was very grateful. Try them, they're awesome.
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Tabbies - I do find the tattoos are a distraction from the scars. I think a decorative tattoo gives cancer the big middle finger.
Seachain - Everyone says Nordstrom is also helpful. I usually wear a stretchy thing to work. My PS said, "Why do you wear that? Do you think it does something for you? It doesn't." Still, it's my job. Feels weird to go without a bra to work but I will on occasion.
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Well, Warrior, I didn't get my tats today. Turns out this was just a consultation to get started on getting insurance pre-approval (this couldn't have been done earlier?), and look, photograph, and doodle all over my chest. (This, I had to drive over an hour for.) She also said, the scar from the nipple construction in January is still pink, and she won't start coloring it until all that is gone. I pointed out that the scars from the lat flap over 18 months ago are still pink. She said that was vascularization and therefore different. What do I know. Pink is pink to me, and the PS's assistant was ready to tattoo them. Different standards as to what constitutes "healed" I guess. So, I have an appointment at the end of this month to start the decorative stuff since none of that area is the evil pink. Then 2 more appointments in September and November for the nips/areolas and finishing the pretty (hopefully) stuff. That's if the scars aren't still too pink in September, of course. I swear I haven't gone to one appointment for any recon stuff and not had some surprise dropped on me. There's always a delay or they didn't give me all the information up front or something. I was really looking forward to getting started today. Finally, the "fun" part. Alas, it was not to be. Part of the disappointment is because I can't retire until all this is done and paid for. I need the good insurance I get through work. After all known medical issues are done, I'll take my chances with the lesser policy I have through my husband.
Btw, I'd heard Nordstroms was really good for fitting bras too. My nipple stubs also show through clingy tops which I don't like. They PS says they'll shrink some from the tattooing. (Another reason I'd like it done soon.) For work, I either wear a top that isn't clingy, or cover the nips with those stick on pasties. Although, the outline of those can be visible in some shirts. Scarves, sweaters, etc. cover them. I try not to have to resort to a bra. I don't have anything that fits except a couple stretchy sports bras.
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Tabbies - I paid cash for my tattoos and they cost $800. My insurance would not cover a micropigmentologist. That's what they call them. Interestingly, it's been 6 months since I crossed the finish line and honestly nothing has changed. Cancer still sucks even with tattoos. Have you decided on a design?
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Warrior, nothing will make this crap we've been through disappear. I'm getting pretty tired of feeling on the edge of losing it all the time. I'm blaming the letrozole at least in part. I just want to sleep for a while.
Apparently, my "micropigmentologist" has dealt with my insurance company before. I was surprised they will pay. If they wouldn't, I'd just be getting the nipples/areolas done at the PS's office where they will pay. And I wouldn't be doing a anything to cover the rest of the mess. I want a chickadee - my mom loved them, and I've always liked them too, and a flowering current branch, which is a nice shrub native to where I live. Here's what it looks like. The artist is drawing the design. I hope I get to see it before I get up there because if I'm not happy with it, I'd have to turn around and go home with no ink again.
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Tabbies, sorry you couldn't get going on your tattoos today. Bummer!
I agree that Nordstroms is good. I had a prosthesis, but only felt so-so about it. When I consulted with my PS he encouraged me to go to a specific person at Nordstroms and get something I really liked. He said if I got something I really liked, and still wanted surgery, then I was ready. (I had my hesitations/fears.) I did as he suggested and really liked what I was fit in, but decided I didn't want to strap on my boobs the rest of my life. I even showed my PS the prosthesis and said, "this is the size I want." The fact that I'm single and under 50 played a part too! Before I went to Nordstroms I got a scripe for the prosthesis, but didn't think about checking to see if they were in-network. Insurance ended up denying it, but I never got a bill from Nordstroms, so I guess they ate the cost.
I appreciate that you ladies have talked about the nipples, bras and clothing. I actually had an ex-boyfriend chime in on nipples, and he told me that if I'm not going to have sensation, then he didn't see the point of getting them! It was quite the conversation! I'm still undecided though. I can say I am SO happy to be going without a bra and I can't wait to have more shape to my figure. I don't work in an office, though. Good to know about the Victoria's Secret option, should I need it.
Despite the pain, I'm glad I did delayed reconstruction and the LD flap. Now if I could only fast forward to a year from now!
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I wish there was a Nordstrom in OKC. But there isn't. So my choice was either VS or go to one of those places where they sell prosthesis for ladies who chose no recon. And I wanted a pretty bra. It was to be my first bra after the whole BC nightmare, and I wanted it good quality and pretty - I had actually put aside $150 for it. But thanks to the VS ladies didn't need to spend that much.
It's a little hard to explain but I am sure that you all will understand - this bra was supposed to be like the flag of my personal victory over BC. As in "I'm still me, and I can still be feminine and sexy, up yours, BC!" kind of thing.
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Even though I'm just in the TE phase, I totally get what you are saying, Seachain. I have some pretty lingerie that I haven't gotten ride of yet. Not that I have anyone who would appreciate it if I could wear the stuff...BC took that away from me too. I like your idea of pretty bras, if for nothing else, for the victory of it. Just the fact that you have boobs on your body to put in a bra is a victory, and if you like super feminine, pretty ones, then why not...more power to you!
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For anyone on the fence about nipple reconstruction it isn't a big deal. It takes about 20 minutes and that's it. No down time. No mess. No fuss. Very mild discomfort until he numbed me and then nothing. He was surprised I felt anything. Some don't want them because of more scar tissue. I just wanted to feel as whole again as I reasonably could. Headlights are rarely an issue and it's nice for a change to have something poking through from time to time.
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Hi All,
I still wear camies, not bras. I don't find bras to be comfortable on the lat side, even those that i are not tight. I have the tight bra feeling as it is, so I rarely wear a bra. The camie helps hide the headlight look!
On another note, my ps wants to do some revisions work in the fall. ( ugh ) He wants to move the implant more to chest center and/or switch it to another, in addition to more fat grafting. The lat flap side has a slightly smaller implant than the other side, but to me it looks larger. He said that is because of the lat muscle over the implant. I will see him in Sept, although I am thinking to skip having another procedure if it's just for cosmetic purposes. Will see how I feel in Sept!
2T, - I am sorry that you werent able to get the tats yet! PHOOEY!! I hope it's soon!
Happy 4th everyone!!
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Seachain, since I didn't reconstruct right away, I went to one of those shops that sell to ladies who choose not to reconstruct as you put it. They actually have pretty bras. All sorts of them. I've never been the lacy bra sort of girl so I had a little trouble finding something that was just plain and smooth. The women there were very nice, but damn I hated that shop. It was pink hell. Everything there was pink - carpet wallpaper, upholstered chairs. I know they're trying to make women feel like they're still feminine, but this was over the top. I also just detested the whole idea of strapping on rubber boobs every day.
Wildtulip, regarding nipples, I did have general anesthesia, but that might have been because I was also getting some fat grafting. I wasn't going to bother with nipples, but my PS swears they make you feel like the foobs are more real and more yours. I can't say that's true for me yet, but maybe it will be when I get them tattooed, and they look more like real nipples. One of mine had a necrotic chunk that died and dropped off so it looks like it was smooshed downward. There's no edge to it on the top.
Thanks, everyone, for the sympathy on the delay in my tattooing, btw. It's a minor thing in the long run, but I don't tolerate surprises well lately. Being the weenie that I am, it has triggered a bit of a depressive episode.
AnotherNYCG, good to hear from you!
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Thanks, everyone, for your input. I really appreciate learning from others' experiences!
I have to vent tonight. Based on what you all have said, I'm recovering from the LD flap & TE's quite well. It's been almost 4 weeks. Last night I tried to sleep on my right side (flap side)..that definitely wasn't happening! Today I went out socially for the first time since surgery. I've been to the grocery store and appointments, but otherwise have stayed home. I went to a bar/restaurant on a lake and sat with people on a deck listening to a band. Boats can pull up and dock there, so lots of bikini clad ladies walking around. There were many months in the last year+ that I went flat, and months with a prosthesis (although not my forever option), but today I felt SO self conscience. I know it will improve as I get my fills, but right now all I want to do is hide until my chest is bigger. I've been so emotional and insecure since the surgery, and today did not help. If I had driven by myself, I would have been in and out of there fast.
Besides, feeling self conscience, I guess what's bothering me is the lack of support from family and friends. It's like when you have a cancer DX people come out of the woodwork to help out. I have found people to be understanding of me wanting to do reconstruction, but nobody's around. They don't understand that a cancer DX doesn't stop when surgery/treatment is over.
I was thinking today..many people say you know who your true friends are when you get hit with a serious illness, etc. I'm thinking the opposite is true..anyone can step up in a crisis, but a true friend is one who, at the end of any day gives a shit if you've had a good one or not.
Ok..thanks for being my captive audience. Now I'll go take a pain pill and drift off to sleep reading a brochure about implants.
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Ah, Wildtulip, I think we all get both of the things you're talking about. After my BMX, and especially after my active treatment was done, it seemed that all I was seeing was other women's boobs everywhere. That's something I had never paid much attention to previously, believe me. A lake with bikini clad women wouldn't have been a good place for me.
It also sounds like you've noticed what a lot of us noticed when active treatment was over. Everybody else thinks the cancer thing is over. You're ok now, and it's time to get on with life. I was lucky in that some friends did know that's not true because they'd been through it themselves. So they hung in with me. But there was also a feeling of having been abandoned by my medical team when I was no longer seeing them frequently. It's not an easy transition, plus you're recovering from a big surgery. Don't be surprised if you have little relapses when you feel worse than you did the day before or the week before. Recovery isn't always consistent improvement. Sometimes it's 3 steps forward and 2 back physically and/or emotionally. Hang in there. Be kind to yourself. Ask for help when you need it. Get plenty of rest. We're here anytime you want to vent. Heaven only knows I've done my share of that.
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Hello Ladies,
It's been a month since I posted on this site, and crazy things happened since then. Let me start with the good news, my opened wound on my left radiated cancer side is healing really well and it's almost closing, the bad news is that I lost my expanded 310 cc right TE due to cellulitis on June 20.
My PS said that I will beed to wait three months before they can restart the process again of doing Lat Dorsi with skin flap with tissue expander on my lefty and just TE on my righty. It's very frustrating and disappointing but I am just glad that the infection did not damaged my tissues.
It's really nice to hear from all of you and with all the good news and all the successful reconstruction stages.
Happy 4th of July to all
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Tabbies, Thank you for your kind words and support! I slept 10 hours last night, and that helped with my attitude. I know what you mean about being abandoned by the medical team...my oncologist up and quit months after my active treatment ended. Literally, he quit one day and never came back. My nurse practitioner had already moved to another office, and my OB nurse practitioner retired...all within 6 months. Too much change and uncertainty + not enough support = emotional roller coaster! Thank you for listening.
Journey, I'm sorry about your delays and complications. I hope you continue to heal.
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Jouney, I'm so sorry to hear about the cellulitis. This process is so often 3 steps forward and 2 back. Or even 2 forward and 3 back. It's hard to have patience, but hang in there.
WildTulip, wow, you've really had a bunch of docs bail out. My oncology team didn't go anywhere, my GYN retired in the middle of breast cancer treatment. I loved her and had been with her a long time. She had to retired to take care of her husband who has Parkinson's disease so I felt terrible for her as well as missing her. Then my PCP got divorced and left town. Not fun finding new docs in the middle of a big health crisis. Some stability would be nice. As you said an emotional roller coaster. I hope yours settles down soon.
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Thank you Widltulip and 2 Tabbies for your encouraging words. I appreciate it
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Journey - Cellulitis is the reason I had to do the lat flap. I was so close to being finished. I'm sorry this happened to you too.
Wildtulip - 11 surgeries. I stopped telling people. I was boring everyone. I only got flowers for the BMX. Gifts from my husband became less generous with each successive surgery too.
Tabbies - It was the fat grafting that was the reason for your anesthesia. Nipples are easy. I didn't get flowers, stuffed animals or even a card for my nipples.
Went to dinner with my husband when I crossed the tattoo finish line.
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Warrior, I get what you said about not telling people about surgeries anymore. My daughter has had many surgeries in her lifetime, and after a while I stopped telling people. It just became routine for us and people were like, "really, another surgery...what for?" But like you said, they seemed bored by it all.
I was supposed to get my first fill in my TE's today, but now it won't be until next week.
Yesterday (Thurs) early AM I woke with a high fever (over 102) and severe headache. I called the PS to see if I should keep my appointment today (Fri) and they wanted me to come in yesterday afternoon to make sure I wasn't showing signs of an infection. My Dr was in surgery, so I saw one of his partners, and he said all looked fine and to come in today. Today I saw my Dr and he said my skin looks good, but since I still woke with a fever today (lower, but over 101) he wanted to hold off on the fill. He said he didn't want to confuse things by doing the fill...like if I had discomfort from the fill, would it be the fill, or perhaps an infection, even though everything looks really good. Despite the fever this AM, I am feeling better..a little more energy and headache less intense. My PS also gave me a prescript for an antibiotic, to only fill if needed over the weekend, and said he was on call. Yesterday a nurse was consulting him about me, while he was in surgery. In fact I had just finished seeing his partner and was in the lobby of his office with my kids, getting ready to leave, when I heard the receptionist tell a nurse that my Dr was calling from the OR. I could hear her relay info, and even though she didn't say my name, I know she was talking about me. How great is that to have such a caring Dr?! Really bummed to not have started the fill process yet, but I get it too. I saw my MO on Wednesday..ended up spending 2 hours at the cancer center, so I wouldn't doubt if I picked up a virus there.
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I hope the day will come when I can feel ill and NOT think it is related to cancer. I hope your fell better fast, Wildtulip.
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Hi Warrior Woman, I remembered you were the one that did not have the radiation but ended up with Lat Dorsi due to inefction. I hope you don't mind my asking, did you do Lat Dorsi on both due to infection or you wanted the symmetry? Did you need more tissue and skin flap?
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Warrior, I'm fever free today, thank you. Ironically last year at this time, almost to the day, I was really sick with a high fever for almost a week. I was receiving chemo at the time, so a treatment was held and I ended up in the hospital for a couple of days. I also hope the day will come when I won't think illness is related to cancer, and it doesn't delay some medical thing. It's like Tabbies said...3 steps forward, 2 steps back.
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Wildtulip - So glad you're doing better.
Journey - When one implant was removed due to infection I wanted them both out. There was a chance that the infection could return on the other side and I didn't want to do uniboob in the summer. Symmetry was a concern but I didn't want to "feel" lopsided. I'm sure it's irrational thinking. I was out of my mind at the time.
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JoAnn, I was actually going to PM you today to see how you were doing.
The three things that have helped with my back scar, which was also pulling me out of alignment, are therapeutic endermologie, Graston Method (scar release with tools) and manual lymphatic drainage massage. Nothing is a permanent fix, and I have to go to some sort of professional therapy appointment at least once a week, as well as having my husband help me daily with home versions of the therapies, in order to have things at a tolerable level while dressed.
I know you have found MFR makes things worse, and I had that problem as well until I got the right form of MFR. It turns out there are different methods and they are very practitioner dependent on their efficacy. Therapeutic endermologie is a form of MFR that is done with a machine, so it takes out the human part of the equation. It has been a life saver for me. My torso was so tight, it literally would not inflate on the surgery side when I took a deep breath. Now I can breathe again, which is lovely, and I'm not pulled out of whack anymore.
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has anyone had the ld flap done only on one side? If so, how long before the swelling went down? Just curious.
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lonnie, I had the LD flap on my right side just five weeks ago. I'm not sure if you are talking about swelling in back or breast, but it has gone down in my breast and I haven't noticed swelling in my back. Maybe I just can't tell the difference between swelling and a little flab! LOL
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I had a uni and it's taken over a year for general torso swelling to go down for me.
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Warrior, my PS didn't say anything about doing the nips in the office even before we decided on doing fat grafting too. I don't know. He seems to do things differently than a lot of the other docs. It does seem like the nips would be pretty superficial stuff. Of course, I thought that of having a cyst removed from the top of my foot. I mean it was right under the skin. I didn't think it should need general anesthesia, but that's what I got. Boy, you sure got treated nicely. I didn't get any flowers or stuffed animals for any of my surgeries! I got some get well cards from friends at some point during the cancer storm, but that's it. Harumph!
I hope the day will come when I feel good! I mean really normal and good. I don't always think symptoms are cancer. A cold still just seems like a cold. But if it's an odd ache or pain, the thought does cross my mind.
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