Calling all TNs
Comments
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Hi everyone,
I wasn't sure if you had heard that our beloved Kath/Tobycc passed away Wednesday evening.
Our sincere condolences go out to her husband and two sons. She was such a beacon of light and kindness. She radiated the love of God and reached out to so many to help encourage them when she herself was hurting, including me. Rest in peace sweet Kath. You will be missed.
God bless
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Oh no, I'm so very sad and sorry to hear of sweet Kath's passing. My heart breaks for her family and friends. Sending them many prayers and condolences.
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SA8, I just saw this. SO very sorry of her passing. Thank you for honoring her here
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Thank you Ally & Meadow. If anyone wants to read her obituary it's over on the middle age to older Christian woman's thread. She was a beautiful soul dedicated to the service of others.
Hugs
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I'm sorry to be down right now....everyone has said to feel free to rant or vent here. So, here goes. Ever since hearing of Kath's passing which happened at the time of my 3rd infusion, depression has been a constant part of my days and nights. I've been Googling constantly, filling my head with negative thoughts. I've tried so hard to be positive since my TN diagnosis. And, I've done a pretty good job. But, when do the negative thoughts leave your mind? I feel that my life has only two more years ahead EVEN THOUGH I know that's not necessarily true. Hate this horrible disease‼️ I don't want to be thinking only of myself. I send along prayers to Kath's family and to all women who have had to deal with BC
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Cathytoo, don't apologize for being down! It's completely understandable, and we've all been there. To try to get out from under the bad feelings, I suggest distraction (for me, reading), taking a walk (or more vigorous exercise, if that's part of your life), and, well, I have to say it, ice cream. If the feelings persist more than a few days, go see a therapist and/or get some meds. No need to feel wretched. Hope you feel better soon!!
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Damn I hate to hear about Kath's passing! Prayers for her family. RIP Kath.
Cathytoo, I've been down in the dumps too this weekend, and still have thoughts like I'm doomed and I'm three years out. I don't know that that'll ever go away, especially when we hear of one of our own passing away. Cancer sucks!All we can do is hope and pray for the best. Ice cream and chocolate are my friends. I also do a lot with my dog's when I'm feeling down, walk and read. Lots of deep breaths and just hang in there. (((((HUGS)))))
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bluedog & Luvmydobies...thanks for your kind words. This past year has been hard. Lost my husband suddenly and got BC six months later. It's easy to scare yourself to death. I need to stop reading...everyone has their own story. And, none of us (BC or not) knows what lies around the corner. My husband died at a restaurant eating dinner. Perfectly healthy. I have a therapist appointment tomorrow. Right now, I'm taking the suggestion to have some ice cream and hug my doggie. Thanks, again.
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I haven't posted in a while but I am here today asking for support from all of you as tomorrow is a big day for me and my family...
First, I'd like to say that I'm so sorry to hear of Kaths passing. It breaks my heart every time another life is lost due to this horrible disease.
Second...Cathytoo, absolutely we've all been there. I learned of a friend's passing from TNBC while I was in treatment and I went through periods of fears and negative thoughts. I also felt guilty because although I was very sad for her and her family, I was fearing for myself. I am blessed to have the love and support of close family and friends, as well as the absolutely amazing people on this site who helped me see that everyone is different and one person's situation, even if similar to yours, does not define you. It did get better for me with time; I sought help from my oncologist as well as complimentary treatments (acupuncture and self-hypnosis) which have been a tremendous help. I have learned to see the positives in things despite all of the curveballs that were thrown at me, including going into radiation with positive nodes that were not removed by surgery.
Which brings me to why I came here today: Tomorrow is a BIG day for me and my family. After over a year of treatment with chemo (twice), surgery, radiation, and what seems like hundreds of doctor's visits (and 3 oncologists!), I have my post radiation PET scan tomorrow. I feel better than I've felt in a long time, and am very hopeful and optimistic, but fully aware of the seriousness of the situation. Please send good thoughts and prayers our way! Love to you all
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Second chance I hope it goes well tomorrow. I have got everything crossed for you and am sending love back to you too. X
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How great Second Chance?!?! It's going to be clear and you are going to be doing a very happy dance. Big hugs for tomorrow.
We listed our house yesterday (OMG I worked so hard!) and in 24 hours we have 2 solid offers. How exciting!
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Secondchance...sending you something for tomorrow...
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Cathy - I am so so very sorry to hear of your husband's sudden passing. My heart truly goes out to you. You've been given too much to bear this last year. It's okay to be scared and vent here. We're all here for you. Always. What an amazing companion you have there with you though...and I mean both your adorable dog...and the ice cream
Secondchance - sending you many, many prayers for a perfect scan tomorrow. I hope you get results quickly. We're all in your pocket.
Jen - holy cow! 2?! That's amazing!!! So thrilled for you!
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Carhytoo, your lil dog is freaking adorable!! I could steal that one from you. Haha! My dobermans loved our little terrier and were so protective of her. I miss our little one so much! She was a better size for the lap. The Dobies get a bit heavy but they love to be touching us at all times if possible.
Second Chance, I'll say prayers that your scan will be fine. I'm sure it will. Let us know how it goes! We will all be there in your pocket.
Happy for you Jen!
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Lovemydobies...my little one is in love with big dogs. I'll pack him up and send him to you‼️ He has a very stable personality and absolutely loves every living being...My cousin has an English Lab and they're best buddies. I'll tell him you sent him a big complement.
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Cathy, sending you a hug. And what is this precious doggy's name?
Jen, Happy things with the house moving fast.
Second, thinking of you tomorrow, please update when you can.
Sending you all my love
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Meadow...his name is Scooter. Endless love and energy. Although, at the moment (midnight) he's all curledup next to me sound asleep.
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Secondchance - sending LOTS of positive thoughts your way!
Cathytoo - your little doggie is GORGEOUS! I have a yorkiepoo and a morkie and their unconditional, pure love brings me more happiness and comfort than anyone will ever know. Hold that baby tight!
It's so nice to know that all of you wonderful ladies are out there. Many hugs to everyone - we're all fighting a very personal battle and hopefully we will all be stronger, kinder and better people for it.
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dmp1960...Hi Diane...Scooter is a Morkie and the smartest dog I've ever owned. Is your Morkie a barker? Scooter will come with his ball and bark until I throw it for him...over and over and over. He never gets tired. So much energy. I'm so happy that he kept the puppy Yorkie coloring. Put up a photo of your two babies. We live so close to each other we should have a doggie play date
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Hi Cathy - I can't believe he's a Morkie! He looks just like a full-blooded Yorkie - that face is just adorable! I have such a weak spot for any type of Yorkie
Here are my girls - the black YorkiePoo is Hannah - she's 4 yrs old. The little blond is my Morkie, Holly and she is 3 yrs old. Hannah has always been black, even as a puppy. Holly had more Yorkie coloring as a puppy but as she grew, she got very blond. They both love people - Hannah is very reserved and cautious but loves, loves, loves to play with toys - I swear she has more toys than a little kid. Holly just wants to run and play all the time in the yard (and chase rabbits, squirrels or anything else that wanders into our yard). They are both the loves of my life! Maybe someday we can do a playdate
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dmp1960...they are the cutest little dogs I've ever seen. Showed the photo to Scooter. He's in love
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Wow 1000 pages! I feel blessed to be amongst you survivors. I've survived 16 rounds of radiation, a double mastectomy and soon will have 6 radiation. Also survived the lab /hospital losing my tissue from the double mastectomy. Indeed, one day at a time. Love and hugs to u all. God bless.
Xoxo
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I'm heartbroken to hear of Kath's passing. That has knocked the wind out of me. What a terrible loss for everyone who knew her.
Cocker, I am so sorry to hear about Tessa as well. There is no pain quite like that loss, is there? Are you handling it well now?
I'm finally caught up on all I missed while our family was on the Disney cruise. It was wonderful, relaxing, and just what the doctor ordered. I was able to put aside my fears for that period of time, though I've been struggling again since returning home. I wish I'd never seen the studies about surgery-induced metastasis and increased recurrence for BMX without rads. I need to get this out of my head before I go in for surgery on Friday, since I do believe that the mind has a lot of impact on the body. I am praying so hard for a pCR, which would go far to put my mind at ease.
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I haven't been posting in a long time but now I need to and ask some questions. I am well but my older sister has just been dx with bc (she is 57, 58 in April, I'm 55). She has triple + (lump at 9:00 in L) with additional pagets disease (cancer of the nipple, rare, 1-2%of bc). Very diff from my dx(TN, no nodes, lx, chemo, rads). She initially thought it was going to be lx with rads but once path came back with Trip+ and nipple cancer it changed. She is very scared and feeling hopeless. She is now looking at bmx chemo and herceptin after. (No rads if mx and hopefully no nodes).She was just finishing tx for non Hodgkins lymphoma and actually had 1 more retuxin infusion left then this. She is fit, takes excellent care of herself, eats well, is thin, exercises... My questions are mostly regarding bmx. I told her to join this site and forums but I don't think she is ready yet and just too overwhelmed so I'm doing for her. I have also been looking on the trip pos forum and Pagets. She texted me today saying she " truly doesn't know if she can do this". I need to help her get through this.We live 5 hrs from each other so we text and call. She's on LI with a great cancer center, carol Baldwin breast cancer center. She was a great support for me during my tx.
How soon after your dx did you have bmx or umx surgery?, she will see ps wed and saw bs last week. She wants to wait till 4/11. The doc does surgery every other Monday so 3/28 or 4/11. She's had Mri and PET due to lymphoma they don't think lymph involvement but will do snlb. That will be almost 5 wks after dx. They say it's small <1cm but the 2 spots-lump near cleavage and then the nipple. I'm worried maybe that's a long time between dx and surgery
She heard bad stories about bmx and reconstruction, painful, complicated, many problems etc and I want to hear if any of you would do it differently now that you know what you know? What would you do different? Why?
She first was thinking of not reconstructing but now that bmx she wants to but afraid of the bad stories. What can, should I tell her?
She works as a speech therapist at k-3 school right near her home and loves her job and wants to return this year if possible (I don't think she should or can but she's thinking of maybe for end of yr cse mtgs etc) and definitely in sept. What are the mx restrictions for the first month?2months? I know drains and lifting etc. no lifting at school but elementary school kids. how soon did you go back to work? She will have chemo so there's that which I know all about.
She's thinking implants after expanders. Thoughts about Reconstr. She is thin and small chested.
I'm probably going to post this in a few forums. Thanks for listening
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lisa
I am so sorry to hear about ur sister. She is lucky to have you. U can see below I am going for revision sx tomorro at NYU. So tonite I am prepping with cleaning and laundry.
i had umx 8 weeks after dx, with a TE filled to 400cc when I awakened. It can be uncomfortable but was manageable with valium and vicodin for 1 week, then motrin after fills. Iwas filled to 600cc and went to PT 8 weeks after Umx, til exchange in july. I started chemo 4 weeks after sx. I have great docs at NYU, and would do Nothing differently. Some discomfort, a lot of time off work, but luckily, i had paid sick time. I work as a school nurse with PreK in an urban area, after 25 years of ER. I was 57 at dx. I look normal in clothes , am Very glad I had recon. Tomoro is a second reduction on my healthy breast and fat graftung around my 700cc implant. I stay fit with weughts and Spin, and had to not wxercise for 4 weeks after each sx. It was sooo overwheliming a year ago, but I wouldn't do Anything differently. You will support your sister and she will get thru this! Be sure she has a good team and hospital. To me, that meant everything; being able to trust them helped me to stop googling, which usually made me feel worse. And BCO has been a Huge help. Good luck and HugsArlene
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Just catching up on a few posts. You ladies are talkative. That's good for us.
Jan hope you are feeling better now and your cold has gone. Yes my broken heart is mending to a degree but I still miss her so much. Only have Chloe and my big Maine Coon cat left now.
Meadow yes I do see The Voice sometimes and quite like it.
Those M&M ice cream sammies and choc chip ice cream sounds wonderful.
Cathytoo so sorry to hear about your husband. You have been through so much but I'm glad you have little scooter to keep you company. She is a beauty. No you don't have only two more years left. Nobody knows how long we have but without cancer we didn't know either. You have to keep going for your little girl. She needs you. Try to get out as much as possible, take delight in every little thing and laugh as much as you can. You will get over feeling so down but you have had a lot to deal with and it takes time to get back on an even keel.
Kath. So sorry to hear of that beautiful lady passing. Now in God's care and free from pain.
Second Chance thinking of you and hoping your PET scan is fine. Hugs. I notice you say your nodes that were positive were not removed. What was the reason for that and are you having them out soon.
Jenjen so excited for you. Two offers already. Did you accept one of them. Your two girls are beautiful as well and will enjoy their new home.
Tampa Whit welcome and absolutely ditto what meadow said. Hang in there.
BANR glad all is going well for you. Enjoy your spring. We are just going into autumn and I am dreading another cold winter. I have always enjoyed the hot weather.
Mike have a great vacation in Florida and hope you and Kathy enjoy Disney World. We took our girls there when they were small and loved it. Hurry back we need you taking not stalking.
CarolineAmy so glad you enjoyed your Disney cruise. What a holiday, bet you loved it. Don't look at studies if you can help it they only make you depressed and will bring you down. Most of these studies and Google have a lot to answer for. Hoping all goes well for your PET scan and sending big hugs.
Ally always thinking of you and hoping all is well. Sending huge big hugs.
Lisa so sorry to hear about your sister. It's no wonder she is scared and feeling hopeless. Bad stories don't affect everyone but the ladies on here that have had a bmx and reconstruction will help you more than I can as I only had left mastectomy. However, on saying that I wish I had, had a bmx as I don't like being lop sided. Hopefully she can get some help from the ladies on here and will feel a little better and more able to cope.
As explained above only have my little Chloe left now and although she has got out of most of her naughty stage (took a while and boy was there some doozies, like opening the recycle bin with her nose and taking out tins and chewing them all. I've never seen tins with so many teeth marks in them) she will only eat her food if it has cat food on it. Won't touch it otherwise. Apart from that I think she is missing Tessa heaps cause she doesn't seem so happy and only comes alive at the moment on her walks. She has a sweet face though and its hard to be cross with her. And she gives the bestest of cuddles.
Hope I haven't left anyone out. Have a great day ladies if you can and keep on fighting. xxxx
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Arlene and cocker, thank you so much for your quick reply regrading my sister. You girls are awesome. I want to give her positive stories and info. She CANT GIVE UP! She has to do this and get through it. We did, and she will, but she just can't see it right now.
How quick did you girls have your mx after finding out ? Does 5 wks sound like a long wait? T+ is aggressive like tn I believe
Arlene, I think we are hair sisters! These are my 2sisters. I'm in the middle (middle sister!) 2 months before my dx August 2013. I look different now with the "new" hair color and style. My sister newly dx is on the R and my younger sister on the L. We all have (well had for me) curly brown hair of varying degrees. Mine is now white and has gotten straighter the past few months. My sister will have chemo too so will loose her hair :-(
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Lisa try not to worry, easier said than done I know, but she will start fighting soon. It's a natural reaction. I think we have all said we can't do this at times but we have done it and got through to the end. I remember saying to my surgeon I am not having chemo, I'm not having radiation and I'm not having my breast off and I meant every word. But then I looked at my daughter beside me with tears in her eyes and my husband and knew that I had to do it whether I wanted to or not. My surgeon just sat there and said I have booked you in for a mastectomy on..... and I said alright. She won't give up, that fight will kick in soon. Big hugs to you and your sister. xxxx
Edited to add I had my mastectomy within four weeks but my chemo started late as the oncologist (10 weeks after surgery) I wanted was on holiday. Also I can honestly say my mastectomy was not painful and I had no pain killers although they were charted. If I had anything it was a little soreness when I moved my left arm but that was all. That's the honest truth.
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I have yet to respond to many of you, - but want to tell Lisa that I'm sorry that her sister is now dealing with BC.
In answer to Lisa's questions, i waited a few weeks from dx to surgery, and then had to wait another few to start chemo. Recon is less complicated if radiation is not involved. I, too, am (was) thin and small breasted. Recon started for me at time of bmx. I awoke with TEs filled only to 100 ccs. Not comfy, but do-able. Fills were gradual and not painful. Exchange was not bad. (I did have some problems, but that was due to radiated skin from 14 years before.)Long Island has amazing breast surgeons and recon ps. She has many good options. She just needs to breathe and trrrry to think clearly! Sending wishes for her to have as easy a time as possible!
I dont post often, but I read this board's posts alllll the time! Hugs to everyone here.
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Hi - thank you all for the prayers and positive vibes! I could feel it. 😉 While I wish I could say that my scan was all clear, it could have been much worse. It seems that radiation worked on the left side where the cancer and nodes were, with some areas that will have to be watched (slightly lit up, but could be due to post rad inflammation).
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