Ladies in their 30s
Comments
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I totally understand- I'm still in denial. I never smoked, drank socially, have 2 kids(7+5), exercised.....did all the things I thought were right and for some reason I got it. It's really frustrating. Do you have good friends and family for support?
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Yeah I do. Just waiting for the next appt tomorrow
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shewolfpg- be strong. I'll be thinking of you:)
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Hey all, I'm 36 and was diagnosed last month. Had a lumpectomy immediately and started chemo (AC) on July 17th. I'm married with a 2.5 yo and another on the way in October. So far my husband has really been stepping up and doing a lot of the childcare when he's not at work, but it's still hard. It takes a lot out of both of us. Luckily I'm expected to get away with only doing 4 rounds of chemo before the baby, and will hopefully just need radiation & tamoxifen after. If I need more chemo while we have a newborn, it is really gonna take a toll on everyone.
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hello boxofrockstar, I hate to say welcome, but welcome. I am 38 with a 5 and 6 year old and was diagnosed in April. I had a lumpectomy and now am going through chemo (I have one treatment left) then radiation. I know what you are going through to a point, however I can't imagine being pregnant on top of it. My prayers to you and your family. I am here if you ever want to talk. We are all strong ladies (you included!) and have each others backs!
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Well Tuesday is the day I say goodbye to two boobs. I decided to have both leave me. I found out I am triple negative and even though they biopsied 1 node they do believe multiple are involved. So even though the right it okay I want it gone as well. I went from at my appointment to 12 weeks of chemo possibly twice a week it looks like I will have 20 weeks of some hard stuff. On the 11th I go in for a MUGA which I guess makes sure my heart can handle what I will go through. Then after all is said and done I have 6 weeks of radiation then maybe finally get some smaller perky boobs after that. Man Tuesday is going to suck.
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Hi, I turned 31 less than 1 month ago!! I felt like I was officially in my 30s when I turned 31 on July 9, 2014. I got my Dx 22 days later. Now I feel like an OLD lady... (no offense to old ladies).
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When I hit 29 is when I felt old. But this really made me feel old as it takes a lot out of you even before any treatments.
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shewolfpg are you getting expanders placed at the same time as your mastectomy? if so, I know exactly what your experience will be like and can fill you in and provide support along the way, if you want. Just remember, as my PS likes to say, we have a fix for that! You are getting rid of the bad stuff and can replace with good stuff later!!
Just a word of warning, though (and I'm not preaching, I assure you!)... If you do plan to do any kind of reconstruction, plastic surgeons won't touch you if you're a smoker. It causes all kinds of complications with healing, wound failure, etc. so you might want to consider gradually weaning yourself off... Not an ideal time to try to quit when you're so stressed, but thought I'd throw that out there nonetheless!
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Stay strong, boxofrockstar, you can do this! Do you have any family or close friends close by that can help you guys out when the baby is born? Try to resist the urge to do everything yourselves. Accept the help that will likely be offered! I haven't had to go through chemo while pregnant or with a newborn, but I have done them all separately and know they're all exhausting. I will be thinking of you, sending positive thoughts your way, and waiting for updates! Xo
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Smoking has been done for a week now. Sad that this is what got me to quit. Not getting expanders I will have plenty left over to get Cs. I have DDDD right now. But no new boobies until after all treatment. So after January sometime.
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Best of luck tomorrow, shewolfpg. I hope it all goes as smoothly and easily as possible. I'm not at that point but I imagine it's a tough one to come to terms with. I'll be thinking of you.
Thanks, kellymic, and you're totally right. I'm the kind of person who always resists asking for help, but this time I am sucking it up and accepting any offers that come along. We have some family near, and a great network of friends who have been helping us out - babysitting the toddler, cooking, chipping in for a cleaning service - and it's been really amazing (and humbling). I don't think I could do this alone.
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good for you, shewolfpg (re quitting smoking)! I will be thinking of you tomorrow. It's crappy that you have to go through it but after tomorrow the first big step is over with... I always thought of everything in terms of steps and stages in order to motivate myself through it all. Xoxo
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That's honestly what I keep telling my kid. She keeps asking if we are going to do something down the road. I have to remind her I have to get through one thing at a time. I don't know how I am going to feel 2 months from now. Steps are what makes us get through life. I may have one Major Goal and that is to get rid of this cancer completely but I have to have the mini goals to get through it.
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Oh and Boxofrockstar,
It is you that I look at that is the strong one. I couldn't imagine what I would do if I had a younger child and also due with another one. There is lots of strength in your choices. I am more scared and that is why I choose to do what I am doing. And scared in a good way. I want to kick its butt fast. Not everyone feels that I am doing it the right way but it is my way just like your way is right for you. Keep being strong for those little ones of yours!
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Gina, Shewolf and Box -- sorry you have to be here but glad you found us.
Just to ditto what Kelly said . . .
Take all the help and support you can get. None of us can do this on our own. And even if you feel like scrubbing your own floors, it is OK to let someone else do it so you can read to your kids instead. That was hard for me at first.
Hang in there, ladies! Hugs and prayers for you all!!
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Anyone out there? The 30-something thread can't die! I need to talk to young women
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Can I join the 30 somethings - I am 42 - IDC, 1.1 cm - MX Rt side - expander in and in process of fills - swap in November - told to take Tamoxifen - can't find way to take it yet... scared - feel like it will AGE me and add weight and lots side effects and mood problems... and joint pain and have other things dealing with - so anways - I am young and premenopausal and BC throws so much at you, very difficult to think have 40+ yrs to live with knowing it can return,,, I check boards daily - lucky have great team DRs and love my PS and going to one on one counseling with a women who had BC at 41 an dis now 74..... she is into meditation, health, yoga, art, mindfulness, all holistic stuff... love her and she is my lil cheerleader thru this... how are you all feeling? I feel very anxious over the DX and the meds and just trying to get a grip and move on and begin living again, xo
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Hi, still here! Survived taxol #11 yesterday. Implant cellulitis flare today. Back on antibiotics
Hope to keep the fever away!! SOOO ready to be done chemo. One more! Even though it's been rough I am almost through it and if I can do this so can you. How are all your husbands doing? Lots of people have been asking us what we are going to do about the future fertility stuff. By the time we knew I needed chemo there wasn't time to freeze eggs. Fertility specialist thought we had secondary infertility prior to chemo so not looking great. Really tough. Our 3 year old asks for a sister almost everyday. Breaks my heart. Husband can't even go there. He won't talk about anything right now. I think he's just trying to get through this but he is super stressed out. Gets frustrated so easily. Everything is all bottled up. Does anyone know any great resources for spouses? We started out strong with this but lately feeling pretty disconnected. I am trying to get us into a weekend retreat for cancer patients and their support people, but it's at the end of October and we need some help before then. Any tips on how I can get him to open up? Or should I just let him get through the end of chemo? All he wants to do when he gets home is binge watch netflix. And I feel alone.
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I'm still here too. Just did last chemo on the 8-21!! Going in for surgery on 9-10. It's less than 2 weeks away... so nervous. My husband does ok as long as I don't freak out. Sometimes I have moments where I get scared. I'm triple negative and a few people I follow on youtube are now terminal. I'm trying to stay positive. When we feel disconnected we just sit and talk after putting the kids to bed. No TV no computers. It's so important to keep talking. I have had a problem with him disconnecting with Mine Craft. I'm pretty blunt about things, if I feel overlooked I tell him and the same with him. I hope things get better. This road is hard enough without feeling overlooked. Big HUGS!
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Thanks coopdizzle - I think we need to disconnect from the electronics here for a bit. Maybe I'll just suggest 20 minutes a night to start and see if it helps! Can't hurt!
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Llizz - still here too, just busy chasing and potty training my 2 yo and generally trying to go on with my life. I think one of the obvious problems with young women who have cancer is simply the lack of time, especially if you are working and/or have young children. I don't want to have another dr appointment to waste half of my day on.
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Clarn - try going to counseling with your husband, he really probably is just scared to death. That's what we got from going to counseling, it turned out that my husband wasn't just an insensitive asshole, but was scared to death. The social worker at the hospital where I had chemo was useless unless you had financial issues she would not even deal with you. But the social worker at the other cancer center where I had radiation asked if I could come in with my husband, we went twice and even got some things sorted out.
Coop - congrats on your last chemo. I have my fingers crossed for your surgery!
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I am still here too. Had my surgery on the 6th. First chemo treatment this last Wednesday. Since I am triple negative I got some good stuff. Just really tired. First night after chemo I was up about 5 times going potty. I think it was the 6 liters of water I drank. My hospital cup is 1 liter and I took it home. They said to drink at least 2 while on chemo. Well I am kicking it's ass with water.
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Hi ladies,
I'm 37 and have triple positive bc. Started chemo on 8/13 and have my second infusion next week. I have a question about ovary suppression through Lupron (or Zoladex) during chemo to potentially protect them. I understand that there is no study out there proving its efficacy, but i figured if it won't harm me I will go ahead and do it anyway (i don't care about temporary side effects for a few months). I did get a Lupron shot before my first chemo, and plan to continue every 28 days until chemo is over.
My question is, since the way Lupron is theoretically going to protect the ovaries is through shutting them down and reducing the bloodflow, hence reducing the amount of chemo drugs going to the ovaries through the bloodstream, would this not be dangerous if there were undetected micro cancer cells in the ovaries? I know this is really a question for the oncologist, and I will be asking him this when I see him next week, but I was wondering if any of you knew.
My oncologist and breast surgeon were against cold caps (and i'm sure he would be against icing anything else as well) as in their view the purpose of chemo is for it to be systemic, so I'm having a hard time understanding how the Lupron is any different for ovaries. On the other hand since I'm triple positive maybe this helps more even during chemo. Very confusing to me
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Hi Windgirl,
I had the same question for my reproductive specialist. She says the reason that the chemo will ignore the ovaries is because the Lupron will stop the ovaries from creating fast dividing cells (eggs) and the chemo will not pay attention to the ovaries if there is no fast dividing cells living there...
I don't know if I am explaining it the same way, but it made sense to me at the time.
Does it make sense now? lol?
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Hi Llizz,
Thanks this makes me feel better about it, then if there were micro cancer cells in the ovaries they would still be fast dividing and get hopefully wiped out by the chemo
makes a lot of sense. I will ask the Onc tomorrow and let you know if he says anything different0 -
Hi Everyone,
I'm on the boat. My boyfriend saved my life by finding the lump. No rad or chem. Mastectomy in February
and reconstruction in May. Last one and nipples in November. I'm up and down with the tamoxifen. Anyone else?
I pray for you ladies that have to do chemo. You are strong and very brave.
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I'm still here, too, just forgetting to actually post! Like inks, I get interrupted by toddler needs pretty often - we're also potty training so there is a lot of cleanup involved. And yes, between this and the pregnancy, I feel like I live in a doctor's office. I did my best to make sure we had a fun summer, but I've hit a point where I really can't do anything anymore besides take him to the playground and sit there. AC round three really kicked my ass. I'm so tired I can barely stand up sometimes, but then at night I can't sleep (see:timestamp on this post).
Hooray for last chemo, and good luck to those of you getting started! My last one should be on the 18th, and I can't wait to be looking at this in the rearview.Clarn, sad to say, but my husband and I have and a few fights around this issue. They are scared, and I think above all, hate feeling helpless. I know mine is a problem-solver, and it kills him that he can't even try to fix this for me and just has to stand by and watch. The problem we had is that yeah, he's taking that out ON ME - the one with cancer - because he's used to coming to me with all his problems. He is doing a lot of extra work around the house and stuff, and I do appreciate it. I need that from him. But then he complains to me about how tired and stressed out he is and I'm like "sorry? I'll try to have less cancer? What do you want from me?" and then he gets defensive and says that's not what he meant, etc. Finally I just said, look, your feelings are totally valid, but I am not in a position to be your primary support person right now. Get a support group, get a therapist, tell a friend, just don't tell me. I think there is even a forum on here for caregivers; might be a place to start.
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Hi loves,
In case any of you guys are in the north nj/nyc area,
I wanted to let you know about a new support/networking group I'm
running beginning this month. It's through the Young Survival Coalition.
More info on our meetup page:http://www.meetup.com/Hudson-County-Young-Survival-Coalition-Face-2-Face-Network/
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