Ladies in their 30s
Comments
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Hi cajunqueen1 - I was diagnosed 2 years post partum. I've seen some articles about breast feeding and what the breasts go through when they return to normal after you stop nursing. But I don't know that there are any hard scientific facts. Since my cancer was caught late in the game - already had 6 positive nodes - I figure it started growing not that long after my son was born. Going through chemo and radiation and surgery, etc while having little ones is a double-edged sword. You won't have the energy you want to be the mom/wife you want to be. But you'll have some serious motivation for not sulking and wallowing in the shit that is cancer treatment, and trying to get up and do. My kids were a huge motivator for me. And my older guy - who is an old soul - was a total comfort. Snuggling with me when I rested and just generally being really sweet. The key is to ask for and accept help. Women in general tend to suck at that - but it will help you get through. It is all doable - hang in there!
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Thanks Ramols. I noticed that you are also ER+. My ER % is really high at 99% and I feel like my back-to-back pregnancies had to have had some effect.
I have a sinking feeling that I have lymph node involvement as well. My first surgeon said that's not possible with DCIS (true) but there is another tumor in there that they didn't biopsy AND my left side lymph nodes, some of them are rounded with a suspected loss of hilum. I don't think it takes being an oncologist to figure out what that means. Second opinion is next week.
I think that's an interesting point about breastfeeding. I was unable to nurse my twins after the first two weeks, but almost exclusively nursed my son for five months. I guess we'll never know but of course, I wouldn't trade my kids for the world and certainly not to be cancer free!
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Here is an article I found regarding pregnancy, breast feeding, and cancer:
http://www.cancer.org/cancer/breastcancer/moreinfo...
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I was also diagnised posg partum my daughter was 14 months as well also afraid I have a lhmoh involved doing chemo first but a node had loss of hilium fat on uktrasound but my pet scan was negative getting surgery in a few weeks hoping for good new
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Hi Stephmoen, I'm so sorry about your diagnosis and praying for everything to check out all clear after surgery!
I can completely relate to the fears that come with having young children during this process. It's really not my own health I worry about (if God calls me home, so be it), but I am TERRIFIED about leaving my children motherless. So frightened that I can't really talk about it with others.
I have not had a PET scan. Is that more reliable for diagnosing malignancy in the lymph nodes? The one thing my surgeon said was that MRI was not very reliable in that regard, but I find it not to be coincidental that the right side's lymph nodes all appeared totally normal (where no cancer has been detected at all in 2 mammograms and the MRI). In addition, this whole fiasco started when my OB/Gyn found a lump in my left armpit which the ultrasound said was nothing. I am not convinced!
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my oncologist doesn't think they are involved because the pet didn't show it I have read pet cant show micromets so I am not sure what to think it's so hard waiting I feel like it's been years although I only found out in March very thankful chemo is over it gets easier
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When is your surgery Stephmoen? I'm anticipating my bilateral in mid-September (won't know about chemo until afterwards) but won't be able to schedule it for another couple of weeks, ugh! I'm going to be praying that you are going to be ALL DONE after surgery! Enough!
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liz,
I was diagnosed in December and had a seven month old and 20 month old at the time. I also had back to back babies. My tumors were Her2+, not estrogen positive. I am choosing to believe it was not due to my pregnancies, but who really knows? Thank goodness I did have them back to back bc if I had not I may have not been able to have a second.
It's certainly been a tough year for me with neoadjuvant chemo, a BMX , and now starting radiation. But I had a complete pathological response to chemo and my kids have really gotten me through this. I've also had a lot of laughter and snuggles and as a working mom it was nice to spend so much time with them during his medical leave.
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cajunqueen - I wish I could tell you that the paralyzing fear of leaving your kids behind goes away... It doesn't - but it does ease up. As you start making your way through the various stages of your treatment, you'll start to feel like you're doing something concrete to fight back against cancer and making sure it can't steal you from your babies. And as you get near the end and start to gain your strength and energy back, the fear won't be as gripping. I do recall those moments of waking up at 2am in a panicky sweat thinking about what would happen if I left them. Those intense moments of terror go away - I promise you that. The best suggestion I have is to do your best to live in the moment. It is hard but helps. Find moments of joy in every day with them and do the little things like reading them that extra book or giving them that one last millionth hug before bedtime. When you're living in the moment - you tend to forget to obsess about what tragic thing might happen in the future. And I truly believe in the power of positive thinking. Tell yourself you will kick cancer's ass!
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raleighgirl - I lived in Raleigh for a few years.
Snuggles are the best! And you're right, my kids will keep me going no matter how tough it gets. I hope you're almost at the end of treatment and can move forward soon.ramols - I'm glad to hear that the intense terror goes away. I will feel just fine and then I'll be in the shower or somewhere alone and just start crying and praying and feeling so desperate. The fact that I have no answers right now and probably won't for at least 6 weeks until after my bilateral mastectomy, is really, really messing with my head. I just want to make a plan, I want to get started, I want to do something, anything, other than stare helplessly at my phone waiting for results and a plan. I'm taking my anxiety meds, I'm trying to get some exercise other than chasing three toddlers, lol, trying to eat better and cook more and pray more, and just love the heck out of my kids (it makes it hard to set and keep boundaries when I just want to cave into them and make them smile), but nothing can shake this awful feeling. I feel like a tightly wound rubber band and have taken to answering the phone with, "What's wrong?"
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cajunqueen - my mantra that i chanted at moments like that was "I have cancer; cancer does NOT have me!!!" It helped me gain control of my fears. The waiting is the worst. But it eventually ends and you get on a treatment path. And I can say that at 3 years out now, my fears about leaving my children have mostly morphed into your typical mother anxiety - with a hint of extra since I've had that whole potentially terminal disease thing visit my world... Hang in there. And come here for support when you need.
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liz,
Just know that what you are going through now(the waiting, the anxiety) is absolutely the worst part of all of this. You will get through itI I lost 7 pounds in those first few weeks after diagnosis. Waiting for scans and schedules is so hard. I do think you will have peace of mind once your treatment plan is in place.
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I know that terrible feeling to be honosg I was a mess down to 105 pounds crying everything I looked at my children my dr prescribed effexor light antidepressant it has been a life changer for me I don't feel as desperate I have hope now..I still cry sometimes at night rocking my daughter to sleep hope not to stay on them forever..my surgery will be september too find out more thursday I also have a brain mri I requested I'm worried abou
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Thank you so much, ladies! I'm going to try to keep the crazy in check while I wait for my BRCA results and second surgical consult.
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Stephmoen - I was already on an antidepressant which I feel has kept me from completely going down the rabbit hole. I think your feelings are totally normal. It's hard not to hold your children and not feel that incredible surge of emotion.
We can do this! I think once the surgery is nailed down, some peace may start to come. Even though I won't have answers then, at least I will know I'm doing something to start to heal.
Prayers for your brain MRI showing nothing at all!!! Please let us know how it goes.
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I will cajunqueen thank you! My posts are terrible in here from my phone! I get sad knowing there are many more out there like me but at the same time gives me hope I'm not the only one it's hard at the cancer infusion center being the youngest all the time
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Steph, I can imagine. I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't scare,the heck out of me to think about how long this has to come back or happen again. But then I think, tomorrow is promised to no one and we are part of a select few growing some cojones facing that fact. I appreciate my kids more, even during the toddler tantrums, lol.
Being diagnosed this young is hard any way you look at it. If you have no kids and want them, you have that fear that you'll never have a family. And if you have them, you fear leaving them. But I know super healthy women that are infertile and healthy women who have passed suddenly with young kids (just went to a funeral for 28 year old mom of 2 - no cancer).
It's out of our hands so I'm going to try to enjoy my kids each day I have with them and try to trust that God loves them more than I do no matter what.
Xoxo ladies!
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I was diagnosed when my youngest was 13 months and I can't help but think it had something to do with the breast changes associated with breast feeding. But like you guys said, I wouldn't trade what ended up probably being my last baby for the world.
I agree, the waiting is absolutely the worst part of all of this. I remember those early days all too well. I remember the day I got the phone call and laying on the couch trying not to throw up. It was horrible. Xanax is a great medicine...I learned that quickly!
I hope you have good results on your brain MRI Stephmoen and I hope these next few weeks pass quickly for you and surgery has a good outcome cajunqueen!
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brain mri was clear yay! Mamabearmo our children were the same age when diagnosed so hard
my surgery is sept 21 we cantfind my tumor hoping for a pathological complete response! 0 -
mamabearmo I noticed you had radiation after mastectomy and having no positive lymph nodes? I'm trying to plan my next steps I read an article saying aggressive cancers are less likely to reoccur if you recieve radiation to the lymphnodes even without positive lymph nodes at surgery my drs right now are saying no radiation but I want to do all I can
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That's awesome news! Hope you have a complete response and your surgery goes well.
I got radiation after everything due to several different factors. I ended up consulting with 3 different RO's because I wasn't sure at first that I needed it. One big reason I did was due to the location of the tumor. I went into my mastectomy thinking I had pure DCIS. Turns out I had a 2.7 cm tumor close to my chest wall and the margins were close. The other reasons I was given were these: extensive lymphovascular invasion, grade 3 tumor, size of the tumor, position of the tumor (inner upper quadrant near sternum, so they radiated the nodes under my sternum and clavicle too) and my age. If you have acomplete response, my guess would be they will not offer you radiation. However, I'd suggest consulting an RO to answer questions if you are unsure or concerned. Radiation was no fun, and I wish I could have avoided it. Water under the bridge I suppose.
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any tips mama? I start Monday. What was so bad with the rads?
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Good luck on Monday! It actually wasn't too bad at the beginning. Near week 5 or so my skin got pretty reddish purple, hurt pretty bad, peeled and was gross looking. The part that was hardest for me was the fatigue and the muscle/shoulder problems that have shown up recently. I don't think everyone has the same experience, though. Some people sail through rads with no problems, and others have significant problems. I think that I wasn't prepared for the problems I had, and that made it harder for me.
As far as tips go, I'd say don't wear a bra if you don't have to, and be careful showering (don't let the water pelt the front of you and don't use harsh soap on the affected area--I used unscented dove when I needed to, and only sparingly).I am told my skin did exceptionally well compared to the typical reaction (despite me thinking otherwise). My RO told me not to put anything on my skin until I started having problems. I know other RO's say otherwise. I think it varies by doctor.
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Oh and the most effective natural deodorant I found was Primal Pit Paste.
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Hi everyone! I am 35 yo. I had 2 larger tumors one was IDC and one was DCIS and several small. One was aggressive and the other slow. results showed grade II and grade III . The slow one they said started growing 5-8 years ago so that was when my son was about 2. I am married and he is the best support I have. I had a grain stem stroke at 31. An artery in my was dissected and that caused the stroke. I have several side affects from this My left side is completely numb and I have neurological deficits. My facial drop is adjusted now but the right side of my face is numb and my eye is a bit weal. Its called wahelnberg syndrome. So that's out of the way. I discovered the lump the day after my 35th bday. My breasts had been hard and swollen like during pregnancy but I had Mirena and didn't have periods anymore. My breasts swelling went away but I found this lump. Everything went fast after that.. Doing hercepting right now. Do any of you feel llik you have been beaten up after herceptin infusions? I am wondering if all these muscle pains are normal?
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mamabearmo thank you so much for all the information I'm so nervous about this next step i have not talked to a radiation oncologist I must need to get referred to one I will ask my mo about it! Hi jumbled I am a fellow trip positive I have yet to do only herceptin I heard it's pretty tolerable I would bring it up to my dr if your having a difficult time with it
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No problem, hope you are able to get the answers you need!
Hi jumbledbamboo, I definitely feel beat up after my infusions. It is especially bad in my hips when I get up from sitting for a while. I'm really stiff and feel like I'm 90 years old. I didn't notice it during chemo, so maybe it is cumulative. Or maybe I just had worse symptoms to distract me. Anyway, I just try to keep exercising and hope that loosens things up.
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woo hoo on the negative brain scan!!! We all need some good news in here, yay!
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I'm glad to have found this topic. I was diagnosed last month, just 1.5 months shy of my 35th birthday. I felt like I was alone because most people that I've talked to, and in the support group I belong to, everyone was diagnosed either in their late 30s or early 40s. As sucky as it is to have a cancer diagnosis of any type, this site has helped me understand so many things about what is going or or is going to happen. I cannot take tamoxifen due to blood clots and past ovarian cysts so both my oncologist and I came to the decision to remove the last ovary I have. I'll be undergoing that surgery at the end of this month and have opted for a double mastectomy with reconstruction in september.
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lucky, glad you found us as well! It's a great group of ladies! Ask as many questions as you want, vent, scream, cry...do whatever you need to do! We're all here, and we're all either have been through it or are going through it with you.
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