Ladies in their 30s
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hi LMC,
You should ask for a test to see how your ovaries are doing.
I have the same situation with the period as you. It's a lot lighter and shorter. I had a u/s last year and was told that I had small reserve of eggs. I didn't get the lupron shots as my bc was highly hormonal and noooone in my family wants me to get pregnant.
A positive of your TNBC is that you don't have to worry about hormones when you get pregnant.
There is another thread called coming off tamoxifen to have a baby (something like that) that you can read stories on women that have had successful pregnancies.
Good luck and baby dust your way!!
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wow DistrictGirl - we have very similar situations. My husband and I will celebrate our first anniversary 10 days after my bilateral mastectomy. Being in our 30s, we had planned on trying for a baby during our European honeymoon just last month. (I was diagnosed 2 weeks before we left and we just said "f*** it" and went). I don't really know what to say because I'm having a hard time accepting everything too...but I guess know that you aren't the only one.
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MirandaPriestly, I hear you! I was diagnosed roughly a month before our wedding and we had a honeymoon booked for later that month. We had planned to start trying for baby #2 on our honeymoon. But instead of doing that I started chemo a week after the wedding and I will have my final treatment tomorrow. I'm on the fence about getting pregnant as this cancer is a grade 3 and I fear recurrence, as we all do! We are strongly considering getting a gestational surrogate but t is super emotional to know I probably won't be carrying a baby myself this time around. Best wishes to all those who will be trying to get pregnant and to all those who can't or won't because of high risk, I am thinking of you.
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hey ladies, so glad to find this thread. I was 38 when diagnosed, now 39. Starting chemo in about 2 weeks and hoping to be able to work through the dose dense cycles. How did you guys fare through chemo? I'm set for 4 cycles AC and then 4 of Taxol.
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Hey nfullblume, i was dx at 34 and I also did dose dense chemo. I still worked part time- some days from the office, others at home. I liked the balance, because it meant I didn't have to commute and it didn't matter what I looked like 😜 I used to work 7:30am to midday and have the afternoons off (when I'd have an afternoon sleep). I had 5 weeks off work completely after chemo and rads just to recuperate and so glad I did before going back full time.good luck, Hope all works out for you.
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Hi, Nfull. Sorry you have to join us!
I was dx at 35 and had the same chemo regime. Well, I started with weekly Taxol and then elected to move to DD Taxol because my WBC was not rebounding and I didn't want delays (the dose dense version gives you the option of Neulasta).
I tried to work but wasn't really able to because my job as an attorney isn't well suited to that. But I think I could have managed 10-15 hours per week if it were. The AC was easier for me than the Taxol, but for most people that isn't so. I drove myself home from chemo the first couple of times, lol. I took hard core painkillers (Fentanyl patch) during Taxol but I was also HIGHLY allergic and barely finished (they had to stop the infusion 3 times) and was pre-medicated to the hilt in order to finish on time. Wishing you the very best - it seems like forever when you're going through treatment but you will get through it!
How is everyone managing the fear of mets? I am having lower back pain and considering going in for xrays or some sort of other testing. The anxiety is peaking again and I am really praying for relief. I'm so tired of thinking about cancer.
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Hi fellow young BC ladies - I am a 36 year old mom of three (7, 4 and 9 months). In June I was diagnosed with IDC and am still very much struggling with the emotional side of the diagnosis. I have finished chemo (6 rounds of TCH-P) and will have a mastectomy in a couple of weeks.
While my oncology team is extremely optimistic about my prognosis, fear consumes me day and night. I struggled so much that I have been going to counseling and was prescribed an anti-depressant last week.
How do you other young moms not let fear consume you? Every time I look at my kids I just want to cry. My husband is my rock and I'm trying to get more stable emotionally for him - but it is so, so hard
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countrygirl, we are the same age and I have 2 kids. I make myself focus on the time I have and 'up' the quality of it. If thoughts of recurrence enter my head I remind myself I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and time is not promised to any of us. Then I schedule something to do with my family. I planned a vacation for fall break, but usually it is going out for ice cream or playing a game. If I don't feel well it may be a movie or reading aloud. (I may actually be a better mom post-cancer...). Basically if I have a negative thought I DO something positive to counteract it. Replace those thoughts with meaningful actions, and go ahead and cry--never be ashamed to show your family how much they mean to you. Stay with the therapy, take your meds--you are doing all the right things! Give yourself lots of grace--put notes on grace around the house as reminders.
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Thabks Musogirl - How old are your kids? I have talked with my therapist about how tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. But, the fear of this disease feels like a car spinning out of control and I need to learn how to rope it in and accept it.
I am afraid to plan anything in the future - but I have read that that fear will change.
I do show emotion in front of my family - probably too much some days. Sometimes when I look at my kids in the eyes, I instantly well up...
Love the idea of gratitude notes around the house.
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Hi Countrygirl. I promise it gets easier. I promise. I was 37 at diagnosis with two little boys - then 4 and 2. I would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and panic - afraid that I wouldn't be here for them anymore. You are doing all the right things. I tried to find my one happy every day - like even though I was exhausted, I got up and played on the lawn with them. Or I simply watched them play and it made me smile. I focused on cherishing those moments and trying to only let myself think one day at at time. I reached out to long term survivors to ask how they lived with the fear. and they said it eases up. and sure enough - I am now 4 years out and it rarely pops into my head. of course it does from time to time. But I push it aside and instead picture graduations, weddings, retirement - and it all feels reachable to me now. Give yourself time and space to feel your feelings - which are real and a necessary part of the process. You will come out the other side stronger and better.
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I'm 36! Being a young mother, it's paralyzing. Just when I think I've moved forward, the fear comes surging back. I'm going for a second PET scan Wednesday, yikes. I pray a lot. I squeeze my kids a lot. I try to let go. Easier said than done.
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Sorry, that should have read being a mother of young children, not being a young mother. I'm not young and cancer has clearly added some years.
I have a love/hate relationship with the bus analogy. Yes, that could happen and our days were numbered before we were born. But the point of a freak accident is that you don't have to spend all this time mulling it over. You don't spend endless hours looking for the bus, running from it, and furtively sneaking out of your house. You're walking, you're singing to yourself...you're dead. Cancer is more like getting hit by a bus, going into a coma, and waking paralyzed.
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Thanks ramols and cajunqueen for your responses. It is so comforting to know it gets better. Light, love and hugs to all young moms out there..
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country girl, I'm 34 with 2,7,9 year old children and was diagnosed in May. I understand how your feeling. I had a bmx in June and just finished chemo. I will soon be placed on hormone therapy. I feel like emotionally i am starting to look back on the past six months of whirlwind and have really started to process what has happened. I feel some days are better than others. I am trying to take one day at a time and enjoy my family more each day and allow myself to have a sad or down moment it's okay, but then find something to be thankful for. I do believe it gets better as many long term survivors say it just takes time. One day at a time.
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just wanted to bump the thread and introduce myself.
diagnosed at 34. i have a 2 year old. i am done with cycle 3 out of 6 of TCH. still working full time. i have good and bad days.
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Hi Bravemama34! I'm 33 and have an almost 4 yr old little girl. I'm starting 6 rounds of TCH on 12/1.
I'm planning on working as much as possible during chemo. Are you doing treatments every 3 weeks? And Herceptin for a year?
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hi Jezikahyes, due for cycle 4 in a week and also will do herceptin for a year
i work too but take the week of chemo off. for me, its very doable. good luck. i hear it's a long road
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sharing some good news for the younger set -my follow up PET was all clean! Praise God for the gift of more time, however much there may be.
. Keep going ladies! When you're in the valley, keep moving0 -
hi ladies. I'm 37 diagnosed a couple months ago. Im married & have 2kids 13 & 2. I thought I was done with this whole breast cancer thing after my masectomy until I got that phone call from my MO saying my oncotype score was high. So I started my first round of TC chemo on November 10th. 5more to go.
Cajunqueen1, good to hear the great news on your scan.
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great news Cajunqueen
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Thank you! Last year, I was totally bald and sick during Thanksgiving. I didn't leave the house. This year, I took the whole family on a beach vacation! You can do this, ladies, brighter days ahead.
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Hello all..I am 30 and was just diagnosed this year on Nov 3. I am usually a pretty patient person, but waiting for the surgery has really been difficult for me. I like my meditation and yoga but I am having trouble letting myself relax. I have a couple weeks left now. I just keep imagining the worse scenarios. I don't have kids and before my diagnosis I was on the fence about whether I wanted to have any, but now I'm afraid I won't have the option. I was starting to get really optimistic this year and settling into my own after a young adulthood filled with ups and downs and anxieties that now seem smaller. I'm ready to be strong but the fears are still there and it slows me down. I'm in a newer relationship and he has been wonderful about dealing with this news but I still worry about the future. I'm glad to find this place. There is a support group that meets near me that meets once a month but I have trouble motivating myself to get out, I might in Feb after recovery.
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hi laastra, sorry about your diagnosis. It really sucks and your so young. I had my mastectomy in August and I'm having my prophylactic mastectomy to my left breast once I'm done with chemo along with reconstruction. Don't be afraid. Your brave for doing this. My prayers are with you .
Ha
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Hi Iaastra- I totally I understand the apprehension about surgery! If you are interested in fertility preservation, make sure to look into the Livestrong program. They offer free meds and egg retrieval for qualified cancer patients. Look on their website for participating clinics and I would make a call to get info. I suppose you don't know yet if you'll be doing chemo or radiation. If you don't have lymph node involvement and a low oncoscore, your Dr may not even recommend chemo
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Thank you Jezikah and Hopfull2! I will have to look at the Livestrong program for sure, thanks.
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You're very welcome. Good luck on your surgery! I wish someone would have talked to me about fertility preservation prior to my treatment. I have one child, but was hoping for at least one more and my oncologist really didn't know a whole lot about fertility preservation so I was basically on my own there and really ended up doing a lot of research and advocating on my own behalf. Before we found out that my second tumor was HER2+, my Onco wasn't even recommending chemo, just doing the Tamoxifen for 10 years, which you will probably be on, but many women come off that before the 10 years to have babies with no issues. Once I knew I was doing chemo, I did go ahead and do egg retrieval & preservation. I was fortunate that my insurance covered IVF, but the fertility clinic I went to works with patients through the Livestrong program all the time for people who don't have insurance coverage. I'm just so glad I went ahead and did it (even though it was a pain at the time) and have that peace of mind that I have frozen pre-chemo eggs that I can use later to have a baby.
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How long was the egg retrieval/preservation process for you? Did you do that between surgery and chemo?
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i did it between surgery and chemo. takes about 2 weeks or a little more.
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Yup, between surgery and chemo. The process took about 2 weeks for me, too. I actually had to travel out of state for the egg retrieval because our local clinic "batches" it and only does egg retrieval every 2-3 months since they mainly do IVF/infertility vs. fertility preservation which is more time sensitive.
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hi iaastra
Like you, I am in my early 30s and I don't have any children. And like you, I was super ambivalent about it before. My MO recommended chemo up front for me before surgery, and I have no idea what my future fertility would be like so I did harvest my eggs for freezing. Like other members have indicated, it took about two weeks. It's kind of intense, nightly injections, blood work and ultrasounds every couple of days, but it is such a relief to know I have this sort of insurance policy if I decide on children later on. This is a stressful process already so it's nice to remove one stressor. Talk with your insurance and with your local reproductive endocrinologist as there may be some options to help offset the cost. And don't forget livestrong as other people have mentioned.
Best of luck fellow warrior!! Stay strong0
