Calling all triple negative breast cancer patients in the UK
Comments
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Just want to wish everyone a Happy Holiday season and all the very best in 2018
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Hi Sylvia !
I think she was stalling because she felt anxious and didn't feel mentally prepared. I also think seeing two of her sisters go through chemo and how very tough it was on them in also a massive factor. She also feels nobody will take care of my dad like she will he's older ( 13 years + ) and is blind and he's very dependent on her. I think fear is playing a big role in her choice to postpone.
I hope she finds the peace of mind that me and my brother will be able to take care of both parents during this time as we always have been a supportive close knit family.
Her onco thought if she was going to postpone chemo longer, then radiotherapy would be ideal. My mum wasn't sold on the idea and said she would rather do it the "correct" order. Surgery, chemo, radio - due to her grade. I think once the holidays are over she will come round to starting.
Herbs/Homeopathy plays a huge role with us at home. I think it will give my mother comfort knowing that some non chemical "meds" will aid her through her journey. It was such a relief to know her onco was on board and happy for her to take them with chemo. She was even happy for her to take CBD oil ! - which i thought was very interesting because anytime we have ever mentioned CBD to other drs they have always changed the subject. She was super cool and told her she can take CBD in whatever "form" she would like ! Times are changing !!
Kindest,
Sarah
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Hello Mary,
Thank you for your festive greetings.
I do hope you have a good Christmas. It certainly seems as though you are going to have a busy time.
As you say, we shall all be thinking of those that are going through treatment at this time.
Love.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hello Nancy,
I am just popping in to wish you festive greetings and a healthy, happy New Year. I should think it is very cold in Manitoba at this time. I remember the cold winters in Quebec and Ontario. I have an old school friend in Saskatchewan. He has been in Canada since the sixties and has been in different Provinces.
Here, in Exmouth, it is fairly mild but gloomy and damp. The Christmas lights help to brighten it a bit.
Fond thoughts.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hello Sarah,
Thank you for your post. I can understand how your mother is feeling and I do feel that you do need to be mentally prepared. I can understand, too, how she feels having seen her sisters go through chemotherapy and how tough it was on them. She needs to remember that we are all different and we all react differently to chemotherapy. I think a lot also depends on our overall state of health when we begin the treatment. I do hope that after Christmas and New Year she will start the treatment if she is going to have it. How is your aunt who lives abroad doing now?
I can also understand her fear about her husband and that no one will be able to look after him like she can. I know that when I was diagnosed I was frightened for myself about what the treatment was going to do, but I was also worried about my husband, Raymond, being left alone, if I did not survive.
I was diagnosed in June 2005, but did not begin treatment until October 2005. That was a long delay and I would not recommend it to others. I did lots of things, as I have already said, to help myself. When I did decide to start my treatment, and it was chemotherapy first, I did it with determination to get through it.
I am sure that you and your brother will take great care of your mother and your father.
I was interested to know that herbs and homoeopathy play a huge role with you all at home. Have you always been interested in these things?
I was interested to know that your oncologist is supporting you in all of your decisions. That makes for harmony and peace!
I do not know much about CBD oil but there seems to be a lot of talk about it. In Exmouth I have seen it in all three "natural food" stores. I saw it in Mother Earth, the Grape Tree and Holland and Barrett. I have heard people asking about it as well. It is in such a small bottle and seems very expensive, but I have no idea about it, really. I think it is for pain relief.
I do like the idea of a "super cool" oncologist!
I do hope you have a lovely Christmas and that the New Year will be good for you all.
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Hello Marias,
I am wondering how you are. What are you doing for Christmas and the New Year? I am posting a couple of cards especially for you.
Love.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hi Sylvia, Mary, Sarah, Lily, Marias, Nancy, adagio and all
I just came here to send you all my best wishes for the new year. Happy New year and Christmas to all. May all the best be for you in this year and many following years.
I feel much better and energetic now. Sorrow can not stay long.
Love
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Hello Hanieh,
Thank you for popping in to send festive greeting to all of us.
I was glad to know that you are feeling better and more energetic. This is the routine for chemotherapy every three weeks. The first week is the worst and then everything usually gets better and then we feel quite normal the last week, just before we are due for the next infusion.
Remember not to overdo things, keep well hydrated, rest as needed, avoid stress and keep looking forward.
Thinking of you.
Fond thoughts.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hello all of you!!..
Have a very nice Christmas day. I hope all al you be happy with your famikys around.
Sylvia thanks form your words in English and Spanish. and your beautiful post for. Christmas in both languages. My thyroid was taking out all complete and ten ganglia. It seems like the parathyroid are still there. She surgery said she didn't take them. And the test for calcium is good .
This is.My in 2003..I have a big mole in my face and other all over my body. My hair became dark in 2007.when I cut it.
I hope your mole doesn't have any problems.
I went to the oncologists the one who send me the letrozole and she send me to the psychiatry because she think and very depressed and anxiously. When I went there I cried and ask for what the letrozole makes in the body and other questions. She decided and depressed.
Mary take care with you and your knees with all you have to do in this holidays days. My best for you
Hannie be good this days. The third week is the better one like Sylvie said. Have you have holidays in this time?. Do you think is.much better to talk opening to your mother and students about what is going on and in this way they can explain opening their feelings and scared. Even when we finish Good the treatment we don't be exactly the one we did before.
I been tired all the time. And also tired to the words of the people who said to me. "This cancer is because you have to learn something or because you are really strong and can beat with those. I is because your mood and relationships with the man or with your father. Etc. This kind is.discuss makes.bad.
A lot of friends since the diagnostic be away or.hope to.came to visit and I have the energy or the mood to receive them. I don't understand this people.
But also I went to do Nordic walking and to the pool at least three times this week.
Abrazos
Marias
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Hello Marias,
It was lovely to hear from you. Many thanks for your very kind words.
Thank you for the information about your surgery. It is very important that we get the correct information. I understand that all your thyroid has been removed. I thought this was the case because of the cancer. They took out a lot of lymph nodes. It is good news that the parathyroid glands are still there. Without them you would have calcium problems in the blood and you would need synthetic parathyroid hormone.
I do hope you will slowly recover from all this.
Thank you for the beautiful photograph of you in 2003. They must have done a very good job removing the mole. I was glad to know you had no problems from the mole.
I am going to have the mole in the middle of my right arm removed on Friday December 29th. I am very frightened for two reasons. Will the removal cause problems because of the lymphoedema in the same arm? Will the mole be malignant? I shall have to wait two or three weeks to get the result of the biopsy. All this waiting causes a lot of anxiety. I am also worried about what I shall do if it is malignant. I am doing everything one day at a time.
I was interested to know that you had seen the oncologist who had prescribed the aromatase inhibitor letrozole.
I looked up the possible side effects of letrozole and, as far as behaviour is concerned, it does say that some people find that they have a low mood while taking this drug. It also says you may have problems concentrating, feel anxious, and have difficulty sleeping.
I found a whole list of possible side effects.
Remember letrozole is an anti hormonal drug, and like drugs such as tamoxifen, it does have side effects. The doctor's answer will probably be to give you an antidepressant. I do not know whether these work.
Did seeing a psychiatrist help you? What did she have to say? Did it help to have a cry and to talk with someone? Did she give you any pills.
Please give yourself plenty of time to recover from all of this. You have done very well so far.
Have you had the radioactive iodine treatment yet?
I would think it is normal for you to be very tired. I hope the synthetic thyroid hormone will help to make you feel less tired. Give it time to work.
Eat well and eat foods that give you energy and good nutrition.
I was glad to know that you are doing Nordic walking and that you are going to the pool three times a week. I read that Nordic walking and swimming are good for lymphoedema. I read that just being in water is good to get lymph moving and is a natural way to treat lymphoedema.
What are you doing today, Christmas Day? I hope you have your family with you.
When is your birthday?
Abrazos.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hola Marías,
Fue encantador saber de ti. Muchas gracias por sus amables palabras.
Gracias por la información sobre su cirugía. Es muy importante que obtengamos la información correcta. Entiendo que toda su tiroides ha sido eliminada. Pensé que este era el caso debido al cáncer. Sacaron muchos ganglios linfáticos. Es una buena noticia que las glándulas paratiroides todavía estén allí. Sin ellos, usted tendría problemas de calcio en la sangre y necesitaría la hormona paratiroidea sintética.
Espero que lentamente te recuperes de todo esto.
Gracias por la bella fotografía tuya en 2003. Debieron de haber hecho un muy buen trabajo removiendo el lunar. Me alegré de saber que no tuviste ningún problema con el topo.
El viernes 29 de diciembre retiraré el lunar en el medio de mi brazo derecho. Estoy muy asustado por dos razones. ¿La eliminación causará problemas debido al linfedema en el mismo brazo? ¿El lunar será maligno? Tendré que esperar dos o tres semanas para obtener el resultado de la biopsia. Toda esta espera causa mucha ansiedad. También me preocupa lo que haré si es maligno. Estoy haciendo todo un día a la vez.
Me interesó saber que había visto al oncólogo que le había recetado el inhibidor de la aromatasa letrozol.
Busqué los posibles efectos secundarios del letrozol y, en lo que respecta al comportamiento, sí dice que algunas personas sienten que tienen un estado de ánimo bajo mientras toman este medicamento. También dice que puede tener problemas para concentrarse, sentirse ansioso y tener dificultad para dormir.
Encontré una lista completa de posibles efectos secundarios.
Recuerde que el letrozol es una droga anti hormonal, y al igual que las drogas como el tamoxifeno, sí tiene efectos secundarios. La respuesta del médico probablemente sea darle un antidepresivo. No sé si funcionan.
¿Te ayudó a ver a un psiquiatra? ¿Qué tenía ella que decir? ¿Ayudó a llorar y hablar con alguien? ¿Te dio alguna pastilla?
Por favor, date tiempo suficiente para recuperarte de todo esto. Lo has hecho muy bien hasta ahora.
¿Ya tuvo el tratamiento con yodo radiactivo?
Creo que es normal que estés muy cansado. Espero que la hormona tiroidea sintética te ayude a sentirte menos cansado. Dale tiempo para trabajar.
Coma bien y consuma alimentos que le den energía y buena nutrición.
Me alegré de saber que estás caminando nórdico y que vas a la piscina tres veces a la semana. Leí que la marcha nórdica y la natación son buenas para el linfedema. Leí que estar en el agua es bueno para mover la linfa y es una forma natural de tratar el linfedema.
¿Qué estás haciendo hoy, día de Navidad? Espero que tengas a tu familia contigo.
¿Cuando es tu cumpleaños?
Abrazos.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hi Sylvia, Mary, Pam, Marias & Hanieh,
Merry Christmas from Singapore with Love!
I have been very busy lately. I started working last 11 December. I work 4 times a week instead of the initial plan of working 3 times a week. Each day is 9.5 hrs. So far I am doing well but hardly have time to be online.
I will be in your pocket Sylvia when you go for your biopsy. I am also hoping your lymphedema discomfort will resolve soon.You must be very busy Mary this festive season. Hope your knees will be kind to you.
Pam, it must have been very interesting to attend and hosts so many Christmas gathering. So far I have only been into 3 Christmas gathering.
Keep getting better Marias. And it must have been very tiring to hear the those words over and over again. But those who never had cancer will never fully understand the extent we went through.
When I was going through my treatment Hanieh, all I ever think at that time is my DH & my DS. They got me through all of it.
I felt that 2017 seems to be the shortest year for me. I was too busy going through treatment after treatment then recovery after recovery that I thought the time flew so fast. Now we are almost closing the year.
Looking forward to new chapter in 2018.
Best regards,
Lou
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Hello Lou,
It was very nice to hear from you.
Thank you for the lovely photograph of your Christmas tree. I do know you have that artistic touch.
You must be so glad to be back into a normal routine and I can understand how busy you are. You are working long hours, but I hope you are enjoying what you are doing. Pop in whenever you can as we shall always be glad to hear from you.
Thank you for your kind words. I feel fine and the lymphoedema does not cause me too many problems. I make sure I do all the necessary exercises and I also mention lymphoedema whenever I can, because I think it is under-diagnosed and not given enough attention.
I am sure your words of comfort will be of great help to Marias and Hanieh and I am sure they will be in touch, as will Pam and Mary.
I think you are right about how we are motivated through treatment by our nearest and dearest. They get us through the long cancer journey.
I can understand how you feel about 2017. The cancer journey keeps us very busy and we do wonder afterwards where the days went.
Thank you for the lovely photographs. I see that there is a big wheel in the background of one of them. They are very popular here.
Take care and keep in touch.
Happy New Year.
Fond thoughts.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hello 4everStrong,
We have not heard from you in a while and I was just wondering how things are going with you over there in Paris France. I do hope all is well and that you are just getting on with your life. I do miss your deep thinking and your philosophical attitude towards life.
Thinking of you and sending good wishes for the New Year. I hope you like the card.
Fond thoughts.
Sylvia xxxx
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Happy Christmas, Lou, Sylvia, Mary, Marias, Hanieh, Adagio, and to everyone on the thread! I'm on the way out the door again, but I want to say that I'm so glad that we have each other here.
Love and warm thoughts,
Pam
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sylviaexmouth, you would not miss Canada one bit right now. Our temps are in the -30C range with windchills from -45C to -50C. Minus 40C equals -40F. Hope it is better over there, though a friend of mine in S. England says lots of cold and ice there.
Happy Holidays to everyone.
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Hello, happy holydays to every body,
I have not yet gone to the psychiatrist, the oncologist who sent me the letrozole was the one who sent me to the psychiatrist because he cried in the medical consultation, the treatment with radioactive iodine I131 will be in January I still do not have the date of the process.
I spend Christmas with my brother and his 14 year old daughter who is here for the holidays she lives near Bogota.
we go to bed at 10 p.m. I get tired a lot and I need to go to bed early. My brother cooked a delicious meal.
Since November 2 I am taking zolpiclona to sleep, since I have been very nervous from that day until now, and I have a hard time having a good night's sleep.
Sylvie, I trust your mole biopsy comes out very well and do not have any mishap with the wound and your limfedema. I keep doing Nordic walking in the mornings. and in the afternoons I try to go for a while to the pool, it relaxes me a lot and it also refreshes me.
Mary, Silvie,
The pictures I took this morning
Lou, Hannie and Pam, I hope you enjoy a lot this days with your families.
Abrazos,
Marias
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Hello Pam,
Thank you for popping in to send your Christmas greetings. I am so glad that you appreciate the nice little group that we have become. I do hope your Christmas is everything you would wish it to be.
Here in the UK the weather has been very, very wet during the Christmas period and today on what we call Boxing Day, it is again pouring down with rain. Today is usually a very busy day as all the sales begin, but it looks as though it will not be very busy. I think the introduction here of Black Friday and the frenzied shopping probably used up everyone's money. There is not an inexhaustible supply of it.
That is about all for today.
Love.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hello Nancy,
Thank you for popping in. You are quite right I would not want those temperatures that you have.
I did use to clear snow in Canada and did not mind the very cold temperatures, but the cold was dry and not the damp cold we have here. Of course I did not stay out long in those cold temperatures. Montreal and Ottawa were very cold. What was good was that it was often sunny.
Here in the UK Scotland and North Wales have the coldest temperatures. In the south west, where I am, and on the coast, it is not that bad, but it is often overcast.
I do hope this coming New Year will be a good one for you.
Can you remind us what is happening with your treatment? Have you finished your treatment and opted out of chemotherapy and radiotherapy or did you not need it?
Sending you fond thoughts to Canada.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hello Marias,
Thank you for your post and for all those lovely photographs. Everything looks so beautiful. I am sure this must help you to have some quiet time and some peaceful thoughts.
Please let us know when you see the psychiatrist and if it helps you.
Please let us know, also, when you have your radioactive iodine treatment in January.
I was glad to know that you spent Christmas with your brother and his 14 year old daughter. It was good that your brother cooked a delicious meal.
I can understand that you are still getting very tired and need to go to bed early. Rest and sleep are very important to help your immune system to get strong again. I do hope you will soon be able to get to sleep without sleeping pills. Chamomile tea is very good for helping a person to get to sleep.
I am sure the Nordic walking and the swimming will help you to get strong again after all you have been through. Sitting quietly, listening to soft music and doing some gentle deep breathing is also good. Remember too it is always good to laugh.
Thinking of you and sending comforting thoughts.
Love.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hello all
I saw this while going through morning news, thought I would post. I will be back later to respond to some posts. Hope all are having a peaceful day after Christmas, although I know many of you had to return to your jobs today. Mary
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Sylvia, when I saw the oncologist at the end of October, all scans and CT's had come back negative for cancer, and my lymph nodes were clear. I opted not to do chemo with the understanding that I could change my mind if there is a recurrence in the future. I will be followed up by the oncologist at the end of January via Tele health conferencing, I will have had a bone density scan by then, so hope that she will have those results. I did do 16 treatments of radiation therapy from November 20th to December 12th
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Hello everyone,
I found this little snippet of news in one of the reputable magazines that I read. It was entitled "Drug News – Antibiotics block our immune system from fighting the bugs."
"Antibiotics can be life-saving drugs – but they also weaken our immune system and lower our defences when we need to fight off infections.
"The drugs interfere with 'first-line' immune cells – known as neutrophils – and they also weaken the intestinal barrier that stops invading bugs. As a result we are much more susceptible to severe infection, said Koji Watanabe, from the University of Virginia School of Medicine.
"Watanabe and his research team wanted to understand the impact of antibiotics on amoebic colitis, a deadly parasitic infection that is common in developing countries, where children are routinely given more than two dozen antibiotic courses before they are two.
"They analysed stool samples from children living in the slum districts of Dhaka, Bangladesh, and discovered that those with more severe infections also had less diversity in their gut microbiome.
"Taking that observation further, they discovered in experiments on laboratory mice that when antibiotics reduced the activity of the neutrophils, this in turn stopped white blood cells from functioning properly. The intestinal barrier was also compromised and the mice's microbiome was disrupted."
I thought that people in our group might be interested in this.
We all know that chemotherapy can cause problems with neutrophils and white blood cells and we also know the importance of a healthy gut microbiome. We know that there has been too much prescribing and taking of antibiotics when they are not necessary. I think the doctors are being more cautious now. Antibiotics have their place and can be life savers, but too much of a good thing can be bad.
That is all for today.
The weather here is depressing. The rain is absolutely pouring down.
Sending everyone best wishes.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hello Kathseward in Australia,
How was Christmas for you?
Wishing you all the best for the New Year.
Fond thoughts.
Sylvia
Hello Valstim,
We have not heard from you in a while. I hope all is well and that you are busy writing best sellers!
Have you heard about a recent best seller, How to Stop Time? I was listening to the beginning of it last night on the radio. It is about a man who ages at 1/15 of the rate of normal people!
Fond thoughts.
Sylvia
Hello Rhonda,
We have not heard from you in a while, either. I do hope all is going well and that you will pop in to update us when you can.
Fond thoughts.
Sylvia
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Hello Sylvia,
I am popping in again to say that my Christmas was very good, and it was exhausting too. I knew I had an appointment with my MO this morning, and I was very anxious to see if my tumor markers went up. They went down, and I got the "see you in 3 months," that I've been wanting since September. So in that sense, my Christmas was perfect.
I looked up Boxing Day earlier today, before I read your message. The internet reported exactly as you have about Black Friday and the money being used up. Good. Everyone should move on now and enjoy something besides shopping.
I hope you'll let us know how your appointment goes. I'll be back to catch up later this week.
Cheers,
Pam
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Hello everyone,
I wanted to let you know that there was a long article in the Daily Mail on December 26th about lymphoedema. I hope you can read it on-line.
At last we seem to be getting some publicity about this awful chronic condition that has been much neglected and much under-diagnosed.
Please let me have your comments. The thread must be two-way.
I hope you have all recovered from Christmas.
Best wishes.
Sylvia xxxx
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Hi, Sylvia
I am back from the wars!! Just kidding, festivities abounded, there has been much eating and drinking, talking, hugging etc. I think it will be a miracle if I do not come down with some malady, there were people everywhere who were on the verge of sickness, or had some mild sickness but didn't want to miss the party, and I'm sure many others will come down with something because of it. But there, what can one do? I myself have been to functions and then come down ill the next day, and I have wondered how many people I infected along the way. Yesterday I spent much of the afternoon at my old farmhouse trying to ready it for the cold, I shut off the water to protect the old pipes, and had a few issues that I hope are now resolved.
I would trade weather conditions with you gladly. I would take your dreary rainy weather, and you can have our very frigid weather. It is 2 degrees F this morning, this coming weekend is supposed to be -15 F for a couple of days and then slowly begin to warm up a bit. We can only hope the electricity doesn't go out for some reason.
I was struck by reading something in a post from Sarah and your reply to her. Sarah said she thinks part of her mother's reluctance to start chemo is because she is worried about her husband and that she feels she may not be able to look after him as she now does. You replied and said that at your time of diagnosis you were quite worried about leaving Raymond alone if you did not survive. I felt the same way at my diagnosis, my husband was already ill with lung disease, heart disease, and failing kidneys. I was very much worried about the effects of my treatment on my caring for him, maybe more than on my own disease, in hindsight I let that influence my choice of treatment places and doctors. I was very concerned about what would happen to him if he survived me. I have thought a lot about that, and wondered if we, and women generally speaking, do care for others at the expense of our own health. I am even cultivating a little selfishness now, although it is actually somewhat forced upon me at the present time, because I simply can't do all the things I used to do for friends and family.
I heard a little bit about Boxing Day on the radio yesterday, and about how it got its' name. Boxes of money would be collected by workmen from patrons for their good service, and now it is also taken over by shopping. Personally, I am always tired of shopping by now, although this weather is making me want to buy myself warmer gloves and thicker sweaters, I am trying to remember that this extreme cold won't last that long, (I hope) and I do already have a lot of clothes!
I see you are going to have a mole removed from your arm on Dec. 29. I understand your worries because of the lymphedema and also because of the mole itself. Have you had a suspicious mole before? I would think if they are very careful to be sterile there should be small worries of infection, even with the lymphedema. I hope this mole is benign, and sometimes they are a thing that needs to be monitored. My niece had one on her thigh that was noticed by the medical staff during surgery for a broken leg, they told her to go to a dermatologist as soon as she was able. It was not malignant but is something that will have to be checked regularly. Your visit for mole removal will be Friday the 29th, we'll be waiting to hear from you!
I had better go for now, I have some catching up to do.
Love, Mary
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Hi, Sylvia
I read the article on lymphedema, it is indeed an awful condition. I saw at the end of the article it says that her right arm is still much larger than the left, even with all the treatment she has now had. I am glad she has come forward, it can only help to publicize this more. Perhaps it will make more Docs aware of this, and there should be a better way to check lymph nodes for metastases before removing them.
Mary
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Hi, Pam
Congratulations on tumor markers going down, and having a generally good report. Always makes for a good day!
Your holiday schedule sounded exhausting, that's a lot of parties and the prep for them is something that requires thought and action too. Every year I think something has to change, and I have to be the one to change it, but I fall into the routine again. And I do love seeing all the family together, and the friends in a festive mood. It is just very tiring, I agree. When I think about it, my whole month of December is spent either actively shopping for Christmas, or thinking about what and who to shop for, and what to prepare to eat and when the get-togethers will happen, and then attending get-togethers, but not as many as you did! Christmas music has been playing since Halloween, I refused to listen to it till a couple of weeks before Christmas. Thus my nostalgia for Christmases of the past, I'm glad you enjoyed hearing about them!
I do feel fortunate to have survived my cancer treatment, and its' coincidence with my husband's illness. I will probably always feel I should have done more for him, but logically I know that I could not. A friend who is an RN said to me, "You kept him alive as long as you could." It has all made me so aware of my own mortality, and the importance of trying to live each day the best that you can. I think as we get older we all get these wake-up calls and realize that we must appreciate what we can today.
And yes, I do miss my old cat too, she used to lay by my chair in a nook that was warm, I still think I see her sometimes from the corner of my eye going into her corner. I would love to have another pet but I am also traveling more and it would be necessary to consider their care while I am off gallivanting around. This is the first time in about 40 years that I have not had a dog or a cat or both or several. I do have one very large old goldfish that lives in a pond i have outside.
I hope you will find some time to get rested up, New Year's Eve is just around the corner! I will be going to the city with my sis-in-law again, unless we back out because of the cold. But I usually am in bed well before midnight on the 31st anyway.
I enjoy our group here very much too, in fact I would miss all of you terribly if you weren't here. I think of all of you often during my days.
Talk to you soon, love, Mary
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Hi Hanieh,
I am glad your air has cleared and it is easier to breathe. I read your account of your celebration of Yalda, these holidays do seem to be stressful for those who are going through difficult situations. I'm sorry your brother is not in a better situation with his family, it is certainly hard on all of you. I'm sure your parents do worry about both your brother and you, but that is the lot of parents everywhere. As you would worry about your own daughter. You must try to not pull all the stress into yourself, and try to enjoy the good times you do have with your husband and daughter.
This is a good place for you to bring your sadness and anxiety, we all know how you feel. You shouldn't feel ashamed, you have done nothing wrong. You have a disease, we all have it, through no fault of our own. Perhaps we can all blame Adam and Eve, when they were in the Garden of Eden, for eating of the Forbidden Fruit in the Garden, that is what we were told as children in religion class. All the ills of the world came along with the knowledge of good and evil. Before that there was only good. Do you remember that? It is the fate of mankind to know sorrow, and pain and fear. I wish it were not true, sometimes I feel there will be nothing left of me someday because so much has been taken away.
I hope I am not making you feel worse instead of better! I am still lighting candles, I lit one for you on Christmas Day, and for Marias, and another one for all of us.
Please don't apologize for bringing sad emotions here, we all feel them and I do very much believe you will be feeling better again. I hope you will keep your very nice eyebrows through the chemo! Mine have not come back the same, but I use cosmetics on them to make them look better.
Take care, I hope it is not as freezing cold there as it is here!
Talk to you soon, love, Mary
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