solid mass under areola, terrified
I have never missed a yearly exam and have had mammos since 35 (how my doctor operates). My last mammo was clear in June 2010. Last week I went in for my yearly pap and the nurse practitioner found a small lump at the 3:00 position of under my areola. I about fell off the table. I definitely did not feel this and I try to do very good self exams. Today I had my diagnositic mammo and they saw nothing, but then I had the ultrasound and the radiologist said the mass is small (less than 1 cm), but solid. My prayers of a cyst were gone. I have no history of cancer, I do not smoke, I do not drink, and I exercise. I am now 45 so perhaps this was just coming someday. I am terrified. I do not sleep. I can't think. My daughter is getting ready to graduate from college and I can't concentrate to plan for it or prepare to show her how proud I am of her. I am consumed with this. I have now resolved myself to the fact that this is cancer, but what has really terrified me is what I have read about triple negative cancer - could this tiny lump have already metastesized? I have many friends who have been diagnosed with BC - a couple have been diagnosed twice - all are healthy today. But for me the fear of it being a stage IV is haunting every moment. Anyone have a similar experience???
Comments
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Wanthope, sorry that you are terrified. Try not to read about too many things about BC yet or you will make yourself more anxious. The important question is, are you scheduled for a biopsy? It could be anything, including a fibroadenoma which is benign.
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This may not be cancer. You need to have it biopsied as I am sure they told you. Even if it is cancer, it sounds like it is really small.
I have stage 1 IDC. When I got diagnosed I was sure it was a death sentence. When I had all the info and we were able to make a game plan I realized that this was going to be a HUGE bump in the road but it wasn't likely to kill me. Try your best to relax and stay busy until you have all the info.
It might not be anything, but if it is you can worry about it then.
Good luck!!
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. ~Mark Twain
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LetLet,
Thank you for your reply. They asked me for my level of anxiety today and I said 9 out of 10. Not 10 because in general I am a positive person. But when I left the radiologist she tapped me on the shoulder and said, "i am sorry." I was sure that meant she saw the worst
I have an appointment with the surgeon next Friday - hoping they do the biopsy then - the radiologist called over and said I needed one. I did ask the radioloigst if it had jagged edges and she said that it had smooth edges - so I am hoping if it is cancer it is still very early. I have to say - having you and the others to chime in on this is helping curve my fear level. So thank you.0 -
Thank you Shadow,
Yes, I see the breast surgeon on Friday and supposedly they will do some sort of biopsy and then schedule a lumpectomy. I drove home from the ultrasound with a foggy head. I have a husband and son to take care of, and two girls in college - being sick was not in my thought process. You seem very calm and in control so I am assuming afer you receive a diagnosis you have no choice but to forge ahead. Do you mind if I asked how you were diagnosed?
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Wanthope, why don't you get a copy of the radiologist's report? That way you can know what your BIRAD score is, and why the radiologist is recommending a biopsy. There are plenty of noncancerous lumps to be had out there. I'm 41 and had a lump at the 9:00 position by my nipple last December that looked very suspicious to the radiologist and it was a benign fibroadenoma. Good luck.
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Want hope. This the worst part...the waiting and wondering. Every appt is a few days away and the anxiety level climbs. I was diagnosed last July (had BC when my daughter graduated from college in may but was blissfully unaware. The way you describe it consuming your thoughts is exactly the way I felt after I was diagnosed. Now, almost a year later my treatments are winding down and things look good.
Don t read too much into the radiologist comments. Most of them are lacking social skills. They don t know how to talk to patients and tended to say things that would scare the crap out of me.
Take this step by step. Try not to let the fear get to you. It is so scary, but once your questions are answered you will feel more at ease. Your dr will spell out all of the options and you will have input into everything. Libraylil0 -
Wanthope, I find myself in a similiar position except I already have ALH and LCIS.I routinely examine my breasts on a regular basis and I've never felt anything unusual till 3-4 weeks ago. My fingers automatically stopped on a small hard round mass in my right breast under the areola near the nipple.I swear my heart just about stopped. I waited a few days before telling my husband and when i did the next day he called my breast surgeon and I had an appointment that very morniing.Before I got to see her I was sent to pathology for a FNA that came back with only blood so I was told to schedule an ultra sound . I've waited all these weeks as my breast was really sore after the aspiration. This Tuesady I'll be going in for the ultrasound.I'm trying very hard not to get worked up over this.It's good that the holidays are here to keep me busy.You have your daughter's graduation to keep you busy.Don't let your mind run ahead of you.For this time and this moment you are the same person that you were yesterday and everyday will be the same until someone tells you otherwise.We all have the capibility to imagine ourselves right into the ground but when we go with that scenario we miss out on everything that's happening around us now.I assume that you'll be going to see a bs,till then and here's the really hard part, don't think about it.It's really, really hard I know but you can do it.
I just readthat you'll see a bs on Friday. Is that yesterday or next week. Either way, focus on your family and the holiday for now. If it turns out to be b9 you will be way ahead of the game having not wasted your energy on worrying.Good luck with the BS.
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Wanthope-
" I have now resolved myself to the fact that this is cancer, but what has really terrified me is what I have read about triple negative cancer - could this tiny lump have already metastesized?.... But for me the fear of it being a stage IV is haunting every moment. "
Pardon me, but I had to laugh - your thought processes when faced with the unknown are so much like mine. I can drive myself and those around me totally mad by the leaps my imagination takes me. I have learned not to share my negative imaginings with family - this Board is therefore a great place for you to share your fears. I think this is a coping mechanism - if we plot out and consider the worst possible scenarios - somehow it makes us feel we can deal with whatever actually happens. This is not reality, however. All you know is that there is an abnormality. Your lump is most likely benign. And if it is not, then you will shortly find out exactly what it is and be given options on how to proceed.
Many women here have asked their doctors for drugs to help them through this - the worst time, the waiting. Maybe anti depressants would help you focus on the joy of your daughter's graduation?
Hugs to you.
Julie E
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wanthope- take a deep breath. Yes, we all immediately fear the worse but reallity is probably pretty good. first things first: no one can tell if it's cancer until it is biopsied. Second: it doesn't grow as fast as you think. Third: A doctor always is going to do more tests because we are such a litigious society. fourth: Even if they biopsy it, 80% of first biopsies are B9. There are many different things that can be a lump. for your age group, it is still highly unusual to have the BC diagnosis.
Okay, what if it was cancer? the size they are looking at is extremely small which means it would be very early. Early diagnosis is excellent in this day and age. It's a smooth ultra sound which suggests it's something encapsulated; in the case of bc that suggests DCIS which is easily treated and far from the death sentence that you are thinking.
Understand that I say this as a survivor and a daughter of a survivor. I've lived my life knowing of BC. It's not what you are thinking at this time. your doc is being prudent and you are wise to get the biopsy. If you are stilll stressed, talk to you gp or gyn about an anti-anxiety drug to help you get through the stress. Teh stress is more of a worry than the possibility of bc.
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It's definitely scary to find any kind of thing wrong in the breast!! I understand how you must feel.
My friend suddenly found a mass under her nipple, doctors told her she needed biopsy and she was scared. Sure enough it was a benign papilloma which are commonly located in the nipple area. Let's hope yours is the same!
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Hi, thank you for chiming in. The radiologist was very kind but left me by saying, "I am sorry." I was so taken aback trying to digest that comment - sorry for what? Sorry that you see something horrible? Sorry that this is not survivable? Sorry for what? I did not think to ask for a copy of the report. I will do that Monday morning. I see the surgeon on Friday. I have many friends who have been diagnosed - all who are healthy today - so if I have cancer - I just want someone to tell me it has been caught early. Thank you again. This message board is really helpful and calming.
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DocBabs,
I am sorry to hear you are in the waiting game with me. I will keep the prayers flowing for you. I can't concentrate on anything - my mind is constantly trying to figure out how to cope. I have an amazing husband thank god - he is doing everything he can to help me. However, and perhaps you can understand this, but unless you are facing something like this you simply cannot relate to the fear that insues. My appointment with the breast surgeon is next Friday, the 29th. Let me know how your US goes.
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Flash,
Wow, what an awesome response and what a great group of people I have come to know through this message board. As I responded earlier, everyone wants to be helpful - but only those who actually know what it is like to be told that your health is threatened can actually understand. I am going to finish Easter baskets (yes, from the oldest (hubby), to the oldest child (first college grad), to the next child about to graduate college and the youngest - they all get their Easter baskets. Oddly enough on my way back from the radiologist appointment I thought - "who would make the Easter baskets if I were not here?" That sounds crazy - but this is where my head is. So I will finish up the baskets, take to heart all the comforting advice I have been given on this message board, and will report back my findings. In the meantime, however, I will keep checking this board to keep me settled down. I did request something for anxiety - we will see if that helps. Thank you for being a wonderful sourse of support.
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I know it is easier said than done but try not to stress about what it is or isnt until you know. I am surprised they are making you wait a week to see the surgeon for a biopsy. I had my mamo/ultrasound on Friday and had biopsy Monday, diagnosis on Tuesday...did all the scans the following week and I started chemo 2 weeks from diagnosis.
I was 37 at the time, with a 6 week old baby. He hit his head on my breast and it hurt so I rubbed it and felt the lump. Everyone swore it was a clogged milk duct. But I had my 6 week postpartum the following Thursday but by then I found a huge lump under my arm. I knew it was cancer then. So that is how my journey started.
Did chemo first so they could see my respone to chemo, surgery then rads and now I am doing reconstruciton. Each process is different so you just have to wait and see what happens and if you are what your ER/PR and HER2 is. I was lucky that as far as we know, mine had spread to the lymh nodes under my arm and my supraclavicle but no mets.
Keep us posted. Take a deep breath. I would call the doc on Monday and get some Xanax or something to calm the nerves. I did and it helped me so much. I took it at night before going to sleep.
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Jelson,
Yeah - you get me!
Yep, you are correct. I imagine I am jumping to the worst scenario conclusion - it was the way the radiologist looked at me and talked to me that made me assume what they were seeing was not good. He was conveying to me that the simple thought of a cyst is out the door - not liquid filled - and that it should be biopsied immediately. I am not at all familiar with bc although I know quite a few people who have developed it over the last six years. Two of them have had repeat cases. ALL healthy. So I am trying really hard to be positive - but remain terrified truth be told. I have requested an anti anxiety medication - hope it helps. I have to admit - I do feel a little more relaxed after reading the postings here. What an incredible source of support. Thank you. I hope some extra good things happen to all the people who took the time out of their busy lives to respond to my posting - thank you! 0 -
Wanthope-
right, anti-anxiety meds are the ticket!
You may have interpreted the radiologist's expression correctly - as not a cyst, but there are other solid things that are still not malignant. and when you get the radiology report - remember that there are women here who had birads scores - where the abnormality was suggestive of malignancy for whom the final diagnosis was benign.
Julie E
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Maybe the radiologist meant "I'm sorry that your anxiety level is 9 out of 10".
Do you know yet what kind of biopsy you're having? I found it very helpful to read other people's descriptions of what the biopsy process was like -- it's less scary when you understand what's happening and what's going to happen next.
Hang in there.
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Wanthope:
The only thing I can say is BREATHE!! This is definitely the worst part. Tests and waiting for results. Your mind can really play tricks on you so be careful what you read and interpret it as before you get any results. The radiologist may have said he was sorry because he was sorry you had to go through this. I wouldn't try to read anything into anyones comments.
I was dx last Aug after a routine check up and I did not need chemo or radiation.
You first need to know what you are dealing with and there are so many things it could be that are benign.
Please try to relax. Come back here often and post and you will get great support from the wonderful ladies here.
God Bless!
I will be praying for a B9 result.
Jan
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So sorry you have to go through the waiting game. Take a deep breath, get something for the anxiety so you can proceed with a calm mind. First you need a biopsy to confirm a diagnosis. If it is cancer, then they need to run a series of further tests: MRI, PT/CT Scan to make sure this is the only location. If it is just 1 cm and it is BC, this is Stage 1, very treatable. I had two stage one tumors which made it Stage II, I am triple negative, and I am fine. If you have all of the tests done, then and only then should you have a lumpectomy or surgery. Big hugs to you-it could be nothing and if it is BC it is very treatable. BTW: I didn't find the lump under my nipple until the day of my biopsy, so don't beat yourself up for not finding it--it is difficult to detect a lump in this location. Also, the lump has to be at least 4 cm away from the nipple in order to not effect the nipple and in order to just do a lumpectomy. Third, get 3 opinions on how to proceed. My third choice was the best choice for me-you don't want to make choices based on fear!
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Definitely call and ask for some anti-anxiety meds. I had a very hard time with this, as I felt that I should be strong enough to deal with all this without help and what good does worrying do without knowing any answers, yaddah yaddah...I was making myself sick. I couldn't eat, when I forced myself to eat, nothing stayed in, I would cry at the drop of a hat, I could feel my blood pressure soaring. I would give in and take a .25mg of Xanax and suddenly, I could breath again. I was no longer on, what I term the crazy train. I could eat again with no problems (the 5lbs lost have definitely been regained) I have finally resigned myself that if I need them, I will take them. I will not rely on them, but when the crazy train arrives and I'm being carried through the doors on waves of emotions, I can choose to get off, with a little bit of help.
It does get easier the further into the process you go. I rarely need to take a Xanax these days, but sometimes I do. I still get on that crazy train every now and then and I have my progrnosis. My problem is waiting on that dang final pathology report. So I'm hoping by end of May, all will be good. But it is going to be a long wait.
As for why the radiologist said "Sorry", from what you described, your anxiety level were already very high and they were not able to ease your fears, so I would assume they were sorry because they were not able to do that. It was still pretty stupid of them to do that. This is why many of them say nothing, as it is so easy to misintrepret what they are saying.
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I hope you are feeling better today. Happy Easter!!! I hope your baskets came out nice.
I was diagnosed via core biopsy. In the begining. I was as full of anxiety as you are. I wish I had gotten some anti-anxiety meds. They did not offer them and I did not think to ask. I couldn't sleep or eat. I realize now that, yes, it is a big deal but not worth the anxiety that I had at that time.
The smooth edges they saw sounds great. If you need a core biospy, it is not so bad. They did it at the radiology place under the ultrasound guide. The doctor numbed the area with a small needle. Then she madea very tiny cut. The biospy core machine went in. It sounded like an ear piercing machine. They took 3 or 4 samples. Then they injected a titanium seed to mark the area for future mammos. They did a quick mammo on that side to make sure they could see the seed. Then I was sent home with an ice pack.
That was easy physically. Hardly painful at all. But, the emotional aspect was difficult. Waiting, uggh. Someone on this board once said that the waiting was like being in a tank with sharks and being eaten very slowly. I agree.
I would suggest asking for some meds from the doctor who does your biopsy, or any doctor treating you. It will make you feel so much better if you can get a good nights sleep.
Good luck!
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Hi MJB,
This site is very helpful - it is a great sourse of support. What I learned is that no one can understand what a person in this situation feels like unless they have gone through this experience. It is truly terrifying. The unknown is shaking me at the core of my being. My husband is very supportive but all I want to do is read and educate myself which he thinks is making things worse. As I have said many times in the prior posts - I am very lucky to have some close friends who have gone through this and by the grace of god they are all fine - every one of them. My fear is that I have read so many women who had small lumps but they have aggressive forms of cancer which have already metastesized. What more could I have done - I live a pretty healthy lifestyle for the most part - I am not perfect by any means - but I never miss a yearly exam, no smoking drugs or alchol and no history. I am exhausted from worrying. Trying to concentrate on work. Thank you for your kind response - I am only getting through this waiting period with the support of you and others on this site.
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Jelson,
Thank you. I remain terrified, but find comfort in the support I have found on this website. My head is throbbing becuase I seriously cannot think of anything but this dumb lump - feel sort of selfish that way. But I did manage to shake it off yesterday and make a nice Easter for the family. Then back to my thoughts and fear. I would like to get this out and know what I am dealing with. I do feel moments of hope when I read how positive everyone on this site is, most of which have had the bc diagnosis and seem to be pretty incredible strong happy people. I talked to my girlfriend last night who is a two-time survivor, also 45. Her first lump (7 years ago) felt like a spagetti noodle - long and skinny. Her second lump (5 years ago) felt like the top of a pinhead - the type with the little ball. It all seems so random.
Thank you for all your support!
Lots of love, joy and good wishes to all.
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Hi Shadow,
I am trying hard to function - really tough to get through this time. I read too much. I just read that cancer found around the nipple tends to be more aggressive and may have spread through the blood stream and organs before the lump appears. I need to stop reading - except for the posts on this site.
On another note, the Easter baskets were great and loved and it made the day feel a little normal for me.
Thanks again for your help!
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DocBabs,
I am thinking good thoughts for your ultrasound tomorrow. Let me know how things go.
Wanthope
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Thanks so much wanthope! keep feeling the lesion hoping that it really isn't there.I let you know what they say.
Barbara
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Hi wanthope,
I too have a solid mass under my areola and I am waiting for biopsy results to come back on Wednesday. I am trying to keep from reading everything and trying to focus on how I feel and positive things. My sister is going through having a brain melanoma metastasis and there is something that we have both discovered to be helpful. While statistics are helpful, they can also be daunting and make you compare your very unique situation to others. While that can be good, sometimes, that can make you feel badly. One thing she has found, it "rely and trust in what you know". Everyone is so different and has different emotions and experiences. If you just go with what you know about your situation, all the "what-ifs" can fall to the background because you don't "know" any of those. You only know your next appointment, test, what the doc said at the last one, etc. I am trying to go with that for now while I wait and it seems to be working for me. I hope it might work for you and others who are waiting and wondering.
Keep us posted!
Becky
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My ultrasound of the areolar mass shows a rather large calcification very close to the surface and apparently it's been there on several past mammos. Why I never felt it before now is a mystery to me.What was of more concern to the radiologist was a new group of microcalsifications in the upper out portion of the breast that were not on my last mammo done 11 months ago. I had a stereotactic biopsy done today and i should have the path back on Thursday.
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wanthope-
don't blame the victim - especially when the victim is YOU.
"What more could I have done - I live a pretty healthy lifestyle for the most part - I am not perfect by any means - but I never miss a yearly exam, no smoking drugs or alcohol and no history."
There are many women on this site who lived exemplary life styles pre BC diagnosis - replete with breast fed children,organic diet, exercise, regular exams and serenity - and with no family history. There is nothing more you could have done. There is a breast cancer epidemic just like there is an asthma and autism epidemic. We are bombarded by chemicals in our food, atmosphere, cleaning products, packaging, personal care products, toys, furniture, clothing - you name it. Perhaps what set it off was something we were exposed to as children? Who knows? But I hope we find out soon. Please do not waste your energy blaming yourself.
Julie E
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I wanted to add something that I totally forgot when I posted before. I guess I had so many biopsies along the way that I forgot about this one. I too had a small lump just at the borderline of my aureola. It was really little but I could feel it. Never showed on mammo but I felt it and had them do ultrasound and bingo they saw it.
We did the core biopsy and it was schlerosing adenosis. That is a benign finding. Hope yours is too! I am amazed I forgot my own story......sheeesh. Don't go off the deep end yet, there are lots of non cancer possibilities!!
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