TE TROUBLE
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I feel for you ladies that are being made to wait so long to have your TEs reinserted. I know how badly we all just want to be "done"!
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Momof3-an answer from anyone (PS.GYN) about how long it will take for reinsertion when there wasn't an infection just skin irritation and thinning. Very frustrated with this.
Still having an emotionally difficult time with what happened, but also from hormone crash after ooph. Went to GYN today had stitches removed from belly. Found out she also had to do a small hernia repair while she was in there because we've been through my bellybutton so many times and that it was a very good decision to have ovaries removed. Cyst found inside Right ovary and tumor found in Left. Tumore was benight, thank God, but had started to show cellular changes. She says that she doesn't think PS will wait 3 months for reinsertion (she knows him personally and pofessionaly), but that he is going to tell me 3 months because he doesn't want to disappoint me again-hope she's right. It was nice to just be able to talk to someone and she says she thinks PS is not really talking to me because he's angry with himself for it happening and is trying to figure out what he can do to fix it-I don't really know what to think about it. She also increased my Effexor dose to help with the 3 an hour hot flashes I'm now having and to help with the depression I'm feeling.
I've just got to get my head straight and take this one day at a time and pray this is over soon.
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I hope everyone had a good day. I subbed a really good class and get to go back tomorrow and sub them again in the afternoon. When I got home there was a package from a friend waiting for me. She sent me a beach bag for my up coming trip. She's been a friend for about 30 years now even though we have been apart for about 20 of those. Nice to have friend like that.
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Chick....I have been a substitute teacher for a few years, but am taking this year off until all these surgeries are behind me. 2nd grade is my favorite. I've done a couple of long term positions, Kindergarten was fun. (and p.s.....so bummed about the Rays lol)
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Hello, ladies...Since my BMX september 1 ( i HAD 2 LUMPECTOMIES BEFORE THAT AND TUMOR WAS IN LEFT BREAST) I have problems with left TE. It is red I already had 2 extendings and just yesterday had my second chemo.10 days ago my PS told me to massage it with cocoa butter cream and it made it worse- left TE became very red and when I tried to pull out cluefrom the incision, something yellow came out, may be it was cocoa cream?
Oncologist and PS decided to put me on antibiotics and checked blood for bacteria. Nothing showed up ,and TE looked much better, but still a little red... till today. Somehow after my chemo it became red and hard again. Oncologist does not think it is infection. PS wants to put me on antibiotcs again.See them tomorrow. I also got a shot on Neulasta today.They actually both don't know what is it.
What is it???????
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Olgah-Sorry I can't help you out.
Momof3-I am a career switcher. About 5 yrs ago I went through a program that would give me a MA in El Ed and a middle school certificate in Science and Math. The job market in IL SUCKS so I have been subbing since graduating in 5/10. Last year I subbed over 90 days, including a 45 day maternity leave in kindergaten with the same teachers I student taught with. I was hoping to get a leave again this winter with the same group (they are baby making machines!) but the principal though I wouldn't be feeling up to it....My favorite grade is 2nd or 3rd. My daughter is 2nd and I love subbing her class.
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olgah - keep an eye on any fluid you see. We all know things can go to hell in the blink of an eye. Healing in inhibited if you are receiving chemo so keep that in mind. It is probably a good idea to have an antibiotic.
chick - yay on the sub job! Too bad the principal made some decisions for you without asking, boo on him.
all - had my first double fill (each side) today, 50cc's. Definitely feel it! Then I had an echocardiogram (for continued Herceptin) which kind of hurt because they were pushing around on the left TE to get the pictures. They had some trouble because the TE was in the way. They showed it to me on the screen - weird! The good news is that everything looked ok so I can continue Herceptin for the last quarter.
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Greetings from Hilton Head, where today was the first nice day o the week, but we are having a lot of fun! Just got done peeling, deveining and steaming some fresh gigantic shrimp. They are delish! I have been drinking, eating fattening food and dessert every night. Back to reality and the healthy diet on Saturday.
Ran across a local artist in Asheville, on the way down who designs cards. Just sent one to my PS. Has a chicken caricature with gigantic breasts and the line "You guessed it...chicken breasts." He will love it.
He said he didn't need to see me until surgery on November 4th, but after Survivor's story, I am so paranoid that I am going to make an appointment and make sure I have all the bases covered so I am prepared for anything.
Just re-read my last post....might be nice if I proofread my stuff so there weren't so many typos and spelling errors! LOL
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Hi Survivor three months now sounds quite a short time. I have been told that I will not be able to get TE reinserted untill next year. I am deverstated. My PS says it needs to be thourghly healed to take the strain of the TE and herceptin is slowing my healing. There seems to be no end in sight and other people dont appreciate how gutted I am. I just want this all to end and to get back to being me again!
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debbiey-I understand how you feel. I get it really I do and I get sick to death of people that are like, "Well atleast your cancer free or It will eventually all work out". I know they mean well, but as long as I am disfigured, cancer is still the central point in my life and I want it over already. I'm finding that I am starting to feel a little better with everyday that passes. Acceptance is suck a bitch to get to. If you need to bitch, cry, moan, or groan-I'm right there with you girl. Atleast we aren't alone.
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The only small thing for debbiy and survivor is that you are going into sweater weather and it is easier to hide. Tis summer was a bitch trying to wear my transvestite falsies.
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Hi Survivor just need to moan about the fact that this summer we had no family summer holiday due treatments and I promised my 4 children next year wew would have a special holiday. Now I am scared to book any thing for next year because I dont know where I am going to be on the reconstruction road. Where ever I am I am not going to be completley finished and ready for a special holiday. So I am feeling very bitter that I am going to have to let the kids down again and dissapointed that I will have to take the holiday off my recovery plan. By the way a recovery plan is such a bad idea. When I was having my treatment it was great to cross off the days and weeks and celebrate when a treatment was finished. Now every time I put dates for operations in they go wrong or have to be put off and I get so frustrated. I must stop planning but I just cant stop because the end date just keeps getting further and further away. I feel like it is taking away more and more months of my life when I should be out there living it to the max in case I dont have that many years left. Sorry I am being so negative.Just needed to get things off my chest and my poor husband nust be sick to death of hearing me moaning and crying at the moment. I do worry that we will never be able to get back to being husband and wife instead of patient and carer the longer it is before I get back to normal.
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debbiey-oh darling I sooooooo know what you mean. I feel the same way about my own three kids. Thought the same thing-next summer we are doing to do something really fun and was suppost to go to Caribbean with BF to celebrate no more cancer shit. Funny but those were some of the first thoughts that came into my head when i woke up from surgery boobless. I also am like you, I have to have a plan which has been the hardest thing about all this. I am not a fly by the seat of your pants kinda girl. I have to have a plan, a goal to reach towards and now that I don't have one, I'm struggling to get my head around all this.
However I'm going to share this with you and I hope it helps. I am feeling better about everything the last couple of days and last night I was on the forums and ended up on the stage IV sisters thread. I started reading about what these women are dealing with everyday and even read the past threads of some of your sisters that we've lost. I sat here and cried my eyes out, I needed the release. I'm not saying that I felt guilty because I was having my own pity party-we both have the right to be pissed and hurt and disappointed, but I did realize that these women are living everyday with their cancer, they live with it knowing that most will never get away from it, that many won't survive it, but there they were talking about kid issues, what to make for dinner, soccer games, traffic, etc. It was a hard reality for me to face, but I knew that what I'm facing was really just a bump in the road compared to what I could be dealing with. Again I'm not saying what we are facing is easy or far, we both have the complete right to have our sad, bitchy, moaning phases for as long as it takes to get our brains wrapped around our new situations and no we don't just have to be grateful to be NED and not be frustrated that our end has been moved further down the road. I just couldn't read about a 31 mother of 5 who died a year ago and not decide that I don't like myself much feeling the way I've been feeling the last two wks and that because she now so sticks out in my head, I'm going to live the life she was denied.
It still sucks being one boob short and not knowing what the next 6-7 months holds, but I'm going back to living my life and will work reconstruction in around it. To hell with cancer, may not be done with her yet, but I'll be damned if I'm going to give her anymore time than I have to.
I so hope your feeling better soon emotionally my friend. PM me if you want and I'll give you my telephone number, maybe talking with someone in the same boat will help you find the oar you need to start peddling out of this mess.
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I am sorry that you are still struggling, Dawn & Debbie. I can understand where you are coming from. Trust me that you will get back to normality one day. An old friend of mine from elementary school had breast cancer about 10 years ago. She had a BMX & DIEP reconstruction. She told me that one day I would wake up & say "wow, this is what NORMAL feels like" and she was absolutely right. One day at a time & you will get there...
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Hi All, saw my PS Tuesday for 6 week follow up post TE removal. The next day I saw a new PS for a consult/2nd opinion. Old PS says we can't even discuss options for 2 months. I am supposed to see him in 2 months and then he says he'll be willing to talk about what is next. He thinks there is a possibility he can still go with a TE/Implant but have to "wait and see" how things heal. The 2nd PS says he would have never done the TE in the first place due to radiated skin. His first choice for me now is a pedicled Tram flap (both sides), 2nd choice is to put permanent implant in left that now has TE and is fine, and LAT flap on rt side. He showed lots of pictures and spent about an hour with me. My head is whirling with all of this. Its like starting all over again. Then I go on these threads and just about everyone says NO to tram flaps. I have no idea what I am going to do. The new PS will not do anything until 9 months post TE removal because my expander was exposed, even though I didn't have an infection, he states bacteria may still be present because it was open. I actually made an appointment for May 8th to have either a tram or LD flap surgery...long way out but I can change my mind and cancel. I made an appointment to see that PS in March. The attractive thing about the Tram is that it is one surgery, no implants, and he feels the highest possibility of success for my situation. He does not think the DIEP is a good choice for me. I am sure if I go to a PS who specializes in DIEP they will tell me they can do it...
I have no idea what I am going to do, maybe take a break from thinking about it for awhile! Especially since neither doctor will do anything for at least a few months...
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Survivor! Good for you! Yea, it sucks that our recon didn't work out as planned, but things could be soo much worse!
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SpecialK! I was thinking of you...Have you seen any of Linda Hurtado's story on ABC Action News? Yesterday she had a NSS BMX courtesy of "your" BS. Her story is exactly like mine, let's hope she has better luck with her recon....
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Hi guys! Wow where did the week go. I subbed all week so far (secretly hoping I don't get a call tomorrow
). Two weeks till I get to stick my TE foobs into a swimsuit. Dawn and Debbie, I told my husband the exact same thing you guys are saying last night. I am a huge planner and this rolling with the punches isn't sitting with me too well.0 -
Well said, Dawn. Very well said.
I told my husband I'm not going back to Vegas until I have a rack lol. PS appt tomorrow. I bet she does no fill due to the red spot underneath. I showed it to a friend who is a nurse and she said it looks like Rosacea, but we'll see. Still no pain, no fluid, etc... Getting 2nd opinion with derm on Tuesday (she is also a surgeon) so maybe a new set of eyes will give us some info. My dad is a retired orthopaedic surgeon. He took a look and told me to just leave it alone, and that it could take up to 3 months for it to go away. We'll see and I'll let you know... I have GOT to let go of all this worrying. Things could definitely be MUCH worse.
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Dawn- Thanks for the perspective...I sometimes need to be reminded every now and then that this is a temporary bump in the road and will pass! There is always someone worse off than me.
The other day I was talking to one of my male co-workers and he was asking how I was feeling. And I told him that I had some pain issues that I was dealing with but at least I did not have to do chemo and I still had my hair. Then realized I was talking to a bald guy...he laughed and rubbed his head. It was pretty funny!
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Chick-i too am a planner and rolling with the punches isnt my thing either. But i have gotten better at it.
Mom of 3-i developed a red spot with first expanders. Acout the sive od a silver dollar. I think it is where the original pseudomonas were, but that is my opinion. That was in April. It is still there. At my 6 month BS check up, she said it was trauma bruising and could take a loooong time before it was gone and not to worry about it. PS isnt worried either. He said it is where he had to do some extra work. It is also the area he said he may have to fat graft around. It is weirdly shaped around the expander. I tink it is going to be there forever.
Dawn-everytime I look at the other threads, i dial down my complaining. I know exactly what you are saying.0 -
Fluff...thank you, that makes sense and makes me feel a lot better. I just need to relax!
Also...just saw the movie "Five" on Lifetime. Unbelievable and really gave me some things to relate to and also to thank my lucky stars. Check it out if you haven't seen it.
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Dawn - well said and I agree with everything you said. During the past year of TE related crap what's kept me grounded is the mantra "it's but a bump in the road" (although disappointing and a pain in the ass)…..knowing that others are facing so many more challenges and fears gives me perspective.
Jane - You've got a lot to think about, but the good news is that you have time to think and make the best choice for you. Take your time.
Re planning vacation time - I know it's tough when your schedule is at the mercy of Dr's availability and OR surgery time/recovery, etc. I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago and have had to change plans a few times. It's not just trying to figure out vacation time, but for me, being off work on sick leave several times, I always feel guilty taking more time off for vacations. Anyway, it won't be long before this is all behind us and we'll have the rest of our lives for planning holidays.
I got a surgery date of Jan 17th for exchange surgery…..very excited and keeping my fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong.
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Mich_M-how exciting, exchange the holy grail.
Happy to report that I am still feeling good. Situation sucks and I plan on nailing my PS to the wall on Mon to try to get a hint of a plan of whats ahead. Lt breast (and I say that tongue and cheek), looks really good, no redness and tissue looks good. Incisions from all the surgery are healing well and only get sporadic shoting pains in some areas of both breasts-nouthing that lasts more than a few sec-think it's nerve regeneration.
New attitude is fake it til you make it and F_ck Cancer-she's a total bitch anyway. Now I just have to come up with some really funny crap for the "You know you have breast cancer when.." thread-was pretty witty before this last surgery.
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Hi Dawn thanks for the wake up call I needed!
I am off to enjoy lunch with some great freinds who have stuck with me through my moaning and going to forget about things and stop worrying about things I cant change. I know I will get there in the end. Have a fantastic weekend everyone. Debbie
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Did not get called to sub today so now I get to play catch up with all the stuff I didn't get to this week, like flipping my clothes in my closet before it gets cold (thank goodness for an indian summer!). I wish my PS was in his office this week as I still have some discomfort on the left side from last friday and I think I want him to take some out. I really feel like that side has been over filled.
Have a great Friday everyone! It is beautiful here!
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Glad your feeling better Debbie-hope you have a great lunch and a fab weekend.
Chickadee-definantly talk to PS about the overfill. I know they do need to do some but I'm damn sure going to be more cautious with the second lefty when I get it after what happened.
Have a greak weekend all.
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Hi everyone,
I went to the PS on Monday for my 5 week BMX/recon post op and ended up in the hospital for an infection. After an aspiration showed a puss infection my expander was removed on Wednesday. Sitting on my hospital bed, waiting to get released today.... Still very much emotionally crushed over this....
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T-oh babe, God I feel so bad for you. Was right where you are 2 wks ago. Went in for my exchange after 4 months of fills and woke up minus my Lt TE due to thin and inflammed tissue. I was devastated so I know what your feeling. Nouthing I can say will make you feel better right now. My only advice is allow yourself to mourn, because it is a lose, whether it's your real boob or a TE. It just delays our being done with all this cancer shit. I was in a terrible depression for 2 wks, didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone, just wanted to crawl under a rock, but it did get better. I did get my head around it, and although it's still tough to start all over again, I realized that it was a bump in the road to getting back to feeling whole. Has your PS said when he can reinsert the TE?
Hang in there doll, and come here to bitch, moan, groan or whatever you need to until you get through this hurdle.
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Sorry to have to welcome you T but you came to the right place....Like survivor said bitch and moan all you want on this thread!
Survivor-you are the whole reason I want to remove some of this last fill. It shouldn't still be uncomfortable a week later.
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