Starting Chemo in Nov. 2011...anyone else?
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Andi ~ Wow, that church service sounds so incredibly special! What a blessing for you to be a part of it. I'm sure it will be very meaningful for many
SAN
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Hi again,
Yes. I am so relieved. Now it seems that the original radiation plan might need to be adjusted since there's no need to radiate the whole breast (just the clavicle lymph nodes?) since I'm having a BMX/recon. If the whole breast isn't done, then I can have surgery earlier since there won't be so much skin recovery. That's what I'm hoping anyway, I'll meet with my RO this Friday.
I'm having my port out that Friday too.
My hair looks white-blonde with dark mixed in. I was NOT that gray before chemo, so I'm hoping it's chemo hair and not permanent! I'm taking biotin and rinsing my 1" hair growth with vinegar every day in the hopes itwill grow faster. So far so good. I can go topless and think I look like an older version of Michelle Williams (ha ha, just kidding!).
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Andi - How wonderul the Good Friday service sounds, and to have your son with you I am certain it will be amazing.
I have my next tx on Friday # 2 of AC and then will be half way thru this round. Can't wait to be done with chemo and moved onto radiation. Sometimes it just feels like this will go on forever.
Gentle afternoon
Nel
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My eyelashes are still gone, I have very few eyebrows left, and my hair is finally starting to come in on my head. It is shorter than it was when my husband buzzed it with the shortest tool of the clippers he used. I think that was supposed to be 1/4 inch. My hair was red but had faded some to a light to medium brown over the last few years. It is so short now that I can't get a close enough look at it to tell what color it is, but it is definitely dark, maybe even black. It is straight so far, just sticks straight up all over my head. I am going to get some folic acid to start taking tomorrow. It is supposed to be good for hair and nails, and my nails are a hot mess. The top layer of all of them but 3 have come off now, but there are 3 more layers left to come off right behind the first one. It is so obvious how they lifted off each time for the 4 treatments of taxotere. I can tell how much my nails grew in 3 weeks time by the space between the lines where each new layer starts. It will be a long time before they are back to anything like normal.
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I have learned so much from all of you during these past months. I find comfort here knowing I am not the only one going through all this cancer BS. I have one more Taxol before going on to Rads. Havn't had any RO appts yet, but will have lots of questions. Thank you all so much!!
Hugs and blessings
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I just need to reach out. My life seems more out of control now compared to when I was having my bilateral MX and chemo. I am now on tamoxifen and feel my life is totally out of control. My husband and I had a terrible fight today. Seems like it may be unrepairable. He sounded as if he will move out but who knows.
I started two new drugs today with my MO (Zometa and Zoladex). I can't believe how BC has taken so much from me. I guess I shouldn't complain. Many of you have had terrible chemo and rads experience whereas my experience wasn't too bad.
I just wish my life would get back to normal (whatever that may be). Thanks for listening..
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sue, i'm so sorry to hear about your problems. i hope you can get some time to heal mentally and physically and that your husband can find patience and caring enough to stay there with you. sometimes it just takes a lot of time after this BC experience for life to get back to any kind of normal. you can come here and reach out whenever you need to. so many of us have been through your exact experience. and i know we all care. hugs to you.0
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Sue, I understand completely about the feeling totally out of control. That's a terrible feeling and your husband isn't helping any. The chemo may have affected you more than you think. I remember reading it can take months for all of it to leave your system and now with tamox. and these two new drugs, that is a lot going on in your body. Zoladex, affects hormones and so does tamoxifen. I don't know how you're holding it together as well as you have. Believe me we don't consider it complaining. You're just letting us know how you're doing so we can give you support. I wish there was something more we could do. Hopefully your husband will stop and think before he does anything rash. And I second what YaYa said, we care about you.0
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Just had my 6th/12 Taxol, half way done yay! My eyebrows and eyelashes r getting thinner by the day. Finally got my surgery date, 5/25, then rad according to my surgeon. Oh when will this all end, eeek! Thought I'd be done after surgery, but since I'm having a partial mx, surgeon recommends rads.
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Naan, halfway, that's great! I know it must seem like you'll never get done, but you will. I just started taking Femara and the thought of doing that for the next 5 years is a little overwhelming. Hang in there.
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Sandlake, Just one more Taxol! That's great. Let us know when you have it.
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Hello Ladies, Well I haven't been on for a while and it took sometime to read through the 4/5 pages of posts... Glad that everyone is moving forward in their treatment plans and that there has been good news for many!
The changes since DX are amazing - I don't care how my dh folds the towels as long as they are in the closet...it really does boil down to something that simple for me!! Type A control freak person that I am - that is a huge change. I was determined that all SE's would be gone by this date, exchange surgery by this date, etc..you get the picture! I finally in the last week have decided that I can NOT control all aspects of this "ride" that I'm on..
I didn't realize that I wouldn't lose my eyelashes/eyebrows until chemo was just about done - I thought I was going unscathed, ha! Eyebrows just thinned and several gaps in the eyelashes - I am hoping they are coming back now. Had to finally shave my darn legs - the only saving grace of chemo! I didn't know I would get lymphedema in my "LEG" as opposed to my arm - who'd of thought that??? FYI - I am 10wksPFC and I start PT for the lymphedema next week, it took weeks to get someone to pay attention to me - but 3 doctors, two dopplers and a note from Q finally got some action. I still find myself napping for extended periods of time once I sit down and I can't go non-stop but I'm hoping that once my leg issue is addressed some of that will change and I can continue to get stronger! I think I am about 2 wks away from going without head wear - my dh said he thinks I'm good now...I think my son needs a bit more time before I am exposed to everyone! (He is 11 and in 5th grade and has been AWESOME through all this!)
I got news today that my BRCA was negative so now I am waiting on the BART results (I am a statistic waiting to happen) so I went full boat with testing...I also want to make sure I have info available for my dd and ds and future generations. (First BRCA was for a particular mutation that my cousin was positive for - dummies did not order FULL test...duh!)
Sorry this has been so long - it was a pleasure reading posts and catching up. Hope everyone has a great week:)!
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GrandmaV, thanks for the encouragement. I guess you're right. When this all started in Oct 2011when i had my dx, who knew I'd be 3/4 of the way done with chemo and have a surgery date set. My surgeon wanted to do the surgery in June, I told her I wanted it sooner, so she finally gave me an earlier date. Then on to rads, don't know for how long yet though.
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EMU oil question:
Where is the best place or/site to purchase EMU oil and what brand is good?
Thank you
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Hale0811, it's so good to hear from you. Congratulations on finishing chemo! I didn't know you could get lymphedema in your "leg" either. Is that from the sentinel nodes removed? I hope the PT can get that under control for you. I also just shaved my legs for the first time. At least it was a 5 month break from that. I hope your exchange surgery goes well.
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Sandlake, I got my emu oil at a local health food store, but it is also available on line:
http://www.montanaemuranch.com/products/Pure-Emu-Oil-%7C-Amber-Glass-2-oz.html
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naan, Is your surgery in May?
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GrandmaV, yes May 25, right before Memorial day. I started chemo right before Thanksgiving, I think it's a weird coincidence everything occurring before major holidays.
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Sueshane-I am so sorry that your life is upside down right now. I will bet that the new drugs are at least partly to blame, as well as the never-ending worry that we all feel now about our futures, etc. I especially hope that your husband and you can repair whatever ill feelings were passed to each other today. I know how badly I felt a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling very alienated from my husband. Talking was hard but helped us tremendously, and I feel much closer to him now than I have in a long time. I hope that after you both calm down some you can talk and express your feelings and find some way to put this past you. Even the best of marriages can hit bumps in the road, and it doesn't mean that one of you is terrible or a bad husband or wife. Time and patience-those are my new words to fix a lot of things. I hope you feel better soon.
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Sandlake ~ I got my emu oil from www.emuoildepot.com I love that company and the owner is totally willing to talk to you and answer questions. Their website is super informational and their product is awesome! Best of luck on rads
SAN
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Hi ladies, I found an interesting article on chemo brain from the American Cancer Society. I've been doing little things that are starting to bug me, like forgetting to put coffee in the coffee maker and end up with hot water, not being able to think of a word to finish a sentence, walking into a room and forgetting why I walked into the room and taking longer to accomplish the simple tasks. I've been thinking it might be Alzheimer's, but now I'm thinking it could be chemo brain. It also says most people improve over time, months or even years:
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GrandmaV and Sandyland thank you for the information on emu oil!!
GrandmaV I'm looking forward to reading the chemo brain article.
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Thank you to everyone who responded to my posting last night. Things appear a little better between my husband and me. I can't believe the mental toll BC takes on you. It seems like abad dream - any moment I am going to wake up...
Please know how much you all mean to me.
Thank you,
Susan
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GrandmaV, it's so funny that u mentioned chemo brain, cause on another thread people were talking about how they have been suffering from it.
1. A person kept on wiping their ass with paper towels cause they kept on forgetting to buy toilet paper.
2. Another person had like 10 bottles of salsa in their house cause they kept on buying more thinking they ran out.
3. Then another was stocked up on olives to last a month, same reason as 2.
4. Another person said that her garage door opener was broken so she told her husband that she'll go to the Toyota dealership to pick another one up.0 -
GrandmaV,
I have the same issue with chemo brain. Forgetting words to complete sentences. It's so weird. One time I put a recipe up on my fridge with a magnet and forgot I had put it there, and went looking for it the next day!
I'm taking ginko beloba for it--it may help.
Claire
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naan and claire, I guess all we can do is try to find the humor in it. I've done some pretty strange things lately, but it appears that others are in the same boat. I like your idea about the ginko, claire. My multivitamin has 120 mg. of ginko in it. But maybe I should add more? If I can remember to take it.0
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OMG! I MUST get in on the Chemo Brain convo ~ I love the examples that Naan cited. I have major chemo brain since Round 1. I have found it is so much more than simply forgetting things. It's as if my brain randomly obsesses about certain things while completely ignoring other things! Also, the "not being able to retrieve the word I want" thing is MADDENING! I can often see the thing I want to say in my mind, but I simply cannot get to it. I've begun this elaborate game of stopping mid-sentence to play charades with my family in order to get through a story.
The weirdest thing for me thus far, however, is when I am talking along (minding my own business) and my brain switches out a word I mean to use, with a totally different word that is not remotely related to what I am saying! It's like I'll want to say, "Hey Honey, can you put this book on the shelf over there?" But I will actually say, "Hey Honey, can you put this book on the breeze over there?" It is so bizarre! My family just laughs, but I'm kinda worried because it does not seem to be improving at all and I am 6 weeks PFC!
I am a business coach who deals daily with big, international companies. I run board meetings comprised of very serious C-level executives and my strength has always been my verbal abilities. What the CRAP?? I can NOT lose my mind right now...it's bad for business!!! =]
SAN
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I remember a particularly funny chemo brain incident. Way back when I had my first chemo treatment, I saw my daughter later on that afternoon. She came and brought me some kind of present to celebrate the first one. Then I saw her again a few days later and she said that I looked better, that my eyes had looked sunken into my head and that there were big dark circles under them. I was so out of it at the time that I hadn't noticed anything. I was trying to tell her that and I said, "I hadn't seen anything like that when I walked past the refrigerator" instead of saying the mirror. I do feel like it is getting better now. I am 2 months past my last treatment. I am looking forward to finishing up my rads now. Today will be treatment #21 out of 33, just 12 more after today! I think I will feel kind of funny not having to go somewhere every day or two like I have been since September. I am glad, but not sure how I will feel. Will it not seem real to me anymore, like I dreamed it all? Or will I have more time to sit around and worry that I may be growing bad cells somewhere and not know it? My husband says to make sure I get all my mammograms on time and continue to take my hormone inhibitor and see the onco as scheduled, but other than that, not to think about it much. He says that with the surgery, the rads, the chemo, and the pills, any cells even thinking about staying around would have been zapped into oblivion. I hope he is right.
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Sandy and bahamamom, Isn't it amazing that we're all experiencing the same thing. I'm 3 months pfc and it seems to be getting worse. It's getting more difficult to fake my way through certain situations. And bahamamom, I've been experiencing just what you describe since finishing rads, like I'm not doing enough now that I don't have to go to somewhere everyday. Even though I'm still getting treatment (herceptin every 3 weeks and hormone inhibitor). I feel like I'm still geared up to get something done, but no way to relieve that intense feeling. I've been trying to focus more on nutrition and exercise, but I feel so unsure of just what I should be eating and doing, because of so much conflicting information, especially about nutrition. Even on this site on the alternative forums. It's all so confusing, and then to top it off dealing with chemo brain. I see my onco April 23 and I want to have some things ironed out by then to discuss with him.
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Oh yeah, I've used wrong words like Sandy. I just can't remember anymore what I said that was so weird
I don't know if ginko will work, but I'm taking 500 mg of it--it can't hurt. I didn't take it during Taxol b/c I found some research that pointed to interference with effectiveness of Taxol.
I find I can't recall movies, names, etc. that would have been (pre-chemo) so easily remembered. I just feel kind of foggy sometimes. But since I'm a lecturer at a Univ I just make a joke out of it and say now I'm a real absent-minded professor and my students laugh.
Hopefully I'll grow out of it.
Claire
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