If you are not Stage IV but have questions, you may post here

jenjenl

Hello, I'm back to learn and maybe get comfort from this caring and generous group. It's been 11.5 yrs since stage 2 TN BRCA1 dx (mastectomies, chemo, rads, hysterectomy). Almost 4 weeks ago I started to have pain in left hip, my neck and a little in my left shoulder. It's when I turn my neck side to side and up and down. I did the usual ice/heat, meds, chiro, massages and waited about 3 weeks before going to oncologist. Hoping it was a pulled muscle or something. Last week I went to onc who ordered a bone scan for this Wednesday. When your cancer has set up shop in the bone, what does it feel like? Is it always there and dull or with movement or a mixed bag? I've had a lot of scared in the last 11 years but this one has me spooked bc of the pain and suddenness of it and lasting this long. I appreciate all your support you give. xo

homemom

Glad I found this thread. I have not been diagnosed stage four, but I'm in a lot of fear right now. I developed a cough with no post nasal drip at the end of January. I also had COVID in August that left a lingering cough for a couple months. Beginning of Feb. the Jan cough got worse, but I did have a runny nose and am still blowing clear stuff out of my nose. I went to the PCP and he ordered prednisone and the "pearls" because my lungs sounded clear. I went through both and while they did help lessen the deep tickle in my chest, I'm still coughing. I did cough up some phlegm in the beginning, but not now. I use Flonaise, but stopped a couple days ago. Lozenges help a lot and so does the humidifier at night. As a matter of fact, i had it on full blast last night and I felt amazing this morning with little to no coughing.

The pollen has been between 10 and 11 count since the start of January here and I know several people with a cough they can't get rid of. One told me she's had it for 3 months! My best friend has had it for just a week or two less than me.

I'm not like them though since I have a breast cancer history. I contacted my MO on Thursday to see if she wanted me to not do the x-ray but maybe something else, she had her assistant call me and tell me "the x-ray is a good place to start" I saw her at the beginning of January and my blood work very good.

My PCP did give me orders for an x-ray if needed, so I went for an x-ray on Friday with "post viral cough syndrome" as a prognosis, and I got notice today that the results are in my health chart online. I'm scared to death to look at it! He won't see it until Monday, so I'm thinking I'll ignore it and no news is good news, and I can enjoy my weekend. Dumb I know, but while I do know that my body has always hung onto a cough, I just can't believe that this is nothing! I don't have shortness of breath, I go to the gym 3x a week and get on the elliptical for 45 min each time. PTSD big time.

Thanks for listening

moderators

@homemom, we're so very sorry you're here and worrying. We don't have much to offer except lots of hugs and support while you wait. Sending you good vibes that there's nothing but some allergies to worry about. Please keep us posted!

—The Mods

homemom

https://community.breastcancer.org/en/discussion/comment/5884760#Comment_5884760

Thank you Mods! I'm hoping for no phone calls tomorrow from my PCP! If it is clear I will just have a message in my inbox. Fingers crossed and praying hard!

Sweetpee

Good afternoon. I would like to ask if anyone knows what the right thing to do is where a partner has stage 4 mbc, has had all the endocrine therapies and targeted therapies available and is on the third line of chemo (if xeloda oral counts?) and doesnt want to know their own situation and doesnt want partner to know, the exact nature of the situation? Its proving a bit tricky as although they (non binary) look well at the moment, is 3rd line chemo something to worry about or not? They seem to think not? Am trying to prepare though for possible caring duties . Am i wrong wanting to know? Forgive me if I am please. I know its not me going through this but am trying to anticipate practicalities etc. Thanks

exbrnxgrl

sweetpee,

While it is wonderful that you are concerned about this person, there isn’t much you can do if they choose not to discuss their situation with others, even a partner. Frustrating as it may be, medical privacy is their right. As far as treatments go, it is virtually impossible to say what treatments or approaches may be possible as none of us know the details of this person’s bc nor are we medical professionals.

If you believe that you may be involved in caregiving, it is understandable that you might want to know more but you have no right to this information. I am sure that this is frustrating as you seem to want to help but letting this person know that you will be there for them if needed will leave the door open while respecting their need for medical privacy.

Sweetpee

thankyou exbrnxgrl. That is pretty much what emac has indicated too on another thread.

I will of course follow both of your advice and continue to respect their privacy.

I have never asked anything thus far, but have just let them do their own thing, been there for them , and helped where I can with any running about.

I am frightened as I care for them very much and want to plan our finances if possible so we dont have to worry about losing the flat. But I cant do this without more detail etc. I also worry they are putting themselves in danger, but i guess thats non of my business , but difficult to watch when they run themselves into the ground.

I shall just carry on carrying on and be there as best I can, as you both suggested.

thankyou.

exbrnxgrl

sweetpee,

I read your other posts and apologize as I did not realize this was your partner as it is not clear in your post on this thread. I understand how this makes your stress and frustration even greater as this is a close relationship. While it actually is your business since you live together and what happens will likely affect you, there simply is no way to get around the medical privacy issue. Simply let your partner know that you will be there for them when they are ready. My heart goes out to you both.

Sweetpee

Thankyou exbrnxgrl. No need to apologize, totally my mistake. Thanks for going to the trouble to answer, i appreciate it.

AJ

@Sweetpee , your posts made me sad and angry. Of course their health decisions are theirs but it’s a relationship you’re in. And you need to know what’s going on so that you can be prepared. Have you thought about counseling? Even if your partner won’t go, you can.

Sweetpee

Hey AJ, no i hadnt! What a great idea….and something i can do alone and then speak freely too. Thanks. I will be on to it next week.

AJ

@Sweetpee good luck to you and your partner. This whole cancer deal sucks, even in the best of circumstances. It must be really hard on the two of you