Who else is a Genealogy Nut??
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divinemrsm - Yes, it is a very gratifying feeling to think I helped my mother like that. My father had refused and told her to let sleeping dogs lie, as did her foster sisters, who I grew up with as my aunts. One of them, who was the last survivor did sort of "come around" eventually and told me what she remembered of my mother's story and it was helpful. She said she had actually thought her parents had adopted my mother and that that was the end of it, that we were all family, and there was no reason to wonder about anything else, as we all had each other. That was nice, but if you've ever talked to many who didn't know their families, they ache to know the truth.
Re your poor little Anna: Like MCBaker said above, try the county she was born in to see what you can find. Some states are "open record" states and anyone can obtain marriage, birth, and death certificates for most anyone, but others are "closed record" or offer partial records, or only up to a certain year (like 50 years ago, etc.) and you have to show some specified connection to the person, either via your own birth certificate or other documentation (it varies from state to state). Also, I think on Find-a-Grave there is usually a reference to where the info originally came from, i.e. who posted it. You might have to join, but you can oftentimes send a message (as a member) to the original poster. The cemetery might also have info if you contact them directly - even for an unmarked grave. Find-a-Grave usually shows a plot number, and the cemetery will have some info about who and how that person got there. Sometimes it could be a family plot and other family members are buried nearby. On the other hand the person who posted it might just be a "genealogy nut" who simply volunteered to post all of the records from that particular cemetery and knows nothing about the actual individuals there.
In my biological grandmother's case, she too was buried in an unmarked grave not near any family, and the cemetery was of minor help, but help. My mother and I were able to visit the grave with a cousin. My sister got her a headstone. I got the cemetery location off of her death certificate. Death certificates are loaded with information, so if you can get ahold of Anna's birth and death certificates you could learn a lot; including such things as cause of death. My father's grandmother had a little sister (the baby of the family) who died at age 4 or 5 and my father told me that while growing up he got the distinct message that like Anna, she was never to be mentioned, apparently because it had caused so much pain for everyone else. She however, is buried in a family area and named on the headstone with her parents, so that is something, and I did hear the story from my father about what happened to her (typhoid from the well).
I know you post on the atheist thread, but I must tell you that churches can be invaluable resources. They have baptismal certificates and more. If your husband's family were church affiliated and Anna was baptized anywhere, you should be able to find a record of that. In my mother's case, that's where I started - long before Ancestry and the internet. I wrote to the archivist at the National Cathedral in DC, because I knew that her foster family at least was affiliated with the Episcopal Church there (turned out her biological family was too). They put me in touch with an old parishioner who was in her mid 80's. She remembered the foster family and my aunt from that family later told me that she thought the elderly lady had been her Sunday school teacher in the 1920's. She told me all she could remember about what I had been asking, and I got some meaningful leads from the letter she sent me, that later helped especially when Ancestry got going. Like many though, she told me she just really didn't want to "go there" and that that was all she could help me with. The archivist also had a little info. It is amazing how one little piece of information can lead to more, so gather anything you can and follow it.
I have not used this resource in decades, but it looks like it is still going. You might try searching here. "Cyndi" was a genealogy "original" - before Ancestry, etc. and used to be an excellent source of where to go in each state to find records like birth and death certificates. She used to list all the requirements for each state, contact numbers, etc. Again, I haven't used this source in ages, and didn't know if it was still viable, but looks like it is. There used to be a birth and death certificate ordering site, but I can't remember it. I think I got it originally from Cyndi'sList. It would give all the ordering requirements for each state, who could order, etc., and you could just order and pay online. It was great, but again, I just haven't done anything like that for a long time, but I know it is possible.
https://www.cyndislist.com/us/
The other thing is just keep asking relatives and old neighbors and family friends - especially the older ones, before they are gone. They take libraries of information with them when they go, unfortunately. Things the rest of us will never be able to know.
Hope this ridiculously long post is helpful in some way, and if I think of more, I will let you know. As with me, you could also get that gratifying feeling if you can find out more about little Anna. I wish you the best of luck!
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I've used quite a few of 3tree's methods as she describes above, including making trips to places to look at records because there are many interesting things not yet posted on the internet.
It's fun to observe procedures used on shows like Finding Your Roots and Who Do You Think You Are? The former began broadcasting their 2023 season about a month ago.
I just learned that the other, produced by Lisa Kudrow of Friends, had new episodes at the end of last summer which are supposed to be available on cable networks like Peacock.
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I don't remember reading threetree's last post in November (it was a busy time for me so I may not have seen it then) but the other day, I happened to finally read it and then vlnrph's follow up post. Great advice, and btw, threetree, I'm not averse to contacting churches for information and insights they can provide, lol! I may not conform to manmade religion, but I respect that churches have a place in communities and often provide a wealth of genealogical facts. I love hearing how you used so many resources to learn all you could about your mom's biological family. It is quite a fascinating story, and those old timers sure know a lot, don't they? You're right when you say one small tidbit of info can really open new doors to learn more family history. I think it's beautiful your sister got a headstone for your grandmother's unmarked grave. The part about people “not wanting to go there" by “digging up the past" is frustrating because yes, I know quite a number of adoptees, many in my own extended family, who pine to learn all they can of their birth families. [I won't veer too far off track here, but oftentimes, it was the crippling shame and public humiliation that religion placed upon unmarried women and their families that led to countless babies being given up for adoption, and all the pain and destruction that has caused is one main reason I left religion].
So vlnrph and threetree, all this is to say that after reading your latest posts, I renewed my efforts, and having gotten a bit better at researching…last night I found Anna's death certificate online!It was so gratifying! It started in the morning when I stopped at the city building when I paid my water bill yesterday. The city took over the cemetery (where Anna's buried) which had gone into financial default. The woman in charge, with whom I'm well acquainted, looked through lots of records but found nothing on Anna. The records are horrible, btw. Not organized and kind of confusing. After that, I went home and found links to county death records online and had to figure out how to access the right ones, then sifted through hundreds and hundreds of them until…there she was. The online Find A Grave memorial said she lived five months. But no. Her death certificate clearly states she was *born premature* at five months, and she only lived a couple of hours. Someone entered the information incorrectly, and I've already sent in a request to have it changed. It does say Anna is buried in the city cemetery, so I will still be trying to uncover exactly where and may go back to the city building with the death certificate. But at least some of the mystery is solved. I am glad to have the facts of what occurred, as a premature death is a different narrative than that of a five month old baby.
So thank you both so much! Your insights helped lead me to answers and I 'm very appreciative!
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Woo hoo divine! Persistence pays off. I'm not sure how medical terminology/law went in certain locations back in the 1940s, but it seems a baby born at 20 weeks gestation might be considered a miscarriage and not have a burial in an individual grave.
The wedding date of the parents could be informative. If they had been married just 1/2 year prior to the birth and the child was actually a 7 month premie, the physician may have agreed to "mis-estimate" the age.
Also, I think it more likely 'Anna' was older than the official record because of the reference to living a couple hours. Since people could count, the shame, as you describe, would have been overwhelming to newlyweds who suffered that loss.
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Vln, among the many death certificates I sifted through for my county, I did see another premature birth at five months for that time period. Anna is listed as specifically having lived two and half hours; she was a live birth and not a miscarriage. Her parents (my in laws) had been married almost a year prior to her birth. Even if she'd been born full term at nine months, there wouldn't have been a hint of scandal.
I can't say how accurate my MIL would have been about when she was got pregnant. It was the 1940s, and as newlyweds, she and her husband lived beside his parents' farmhouse in a chicken coop converted into living quarters! Something tells me calendar dates weren't on the forefront of their thinking. Maybe she was pregnant for a month or two before she realized it. I don't know if she even had any prenatal care. If anything, the doctor may have estimated Anna's prematurity based on whatever her birthweight was, among other things. A doctor back then would see prematurity more often and know what to look for.
I'm still frustrated with the disorganization of the cemetery records. It is so typical of this small clique-ish city of 5,000 to be very vague about who's buried where. I wish I'd had the death certificate to show her when I spoke with the woman in charge so Anna was more real to her. She almost acted like Anna was a figment of my imagination! I may print out the certificate and go back in a few weeks. It is clearly typed that she was buried in “T-Town Cemetery". And the funeral director listed on the certificate—he still runs his business in town!
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My parents built a house in 1967 and lived in it for 55 years until a sale occurred in May. Among the things I wanted to keep were old snapshots and, in particular, an album of cabinet cards from around the turn of the last century taken by studios in the Michigan Copper Country. Unfortunately, not many of the people in that book are identified.
The same thing happened some years ago when we inherited the collection of family pictures my in-laws had assembled. In that situation, I was able to sit down with a couple of elderly relatives & get some background on who was in the photos. For those of you who still have knowledge of who the subjects are, write their names on the back, along the edge.
If places/dates can be documented, so much the better. I actually found a few mystery people on Find A Grave and got in touch with the ones who posted there. They turned out to be distant cousins. Every once in a while, usually in winter, I check to see whether other folks have shown up on that website. You never know until an attempt is made!
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Time to bump this topic since, being pretty much snowbound with below zero temperatures, I may work on my most recent project. In an effort to boost membership in a local ethnic heritage group, I volunteered to help people with tracing their family tree. I’ve had 2 ‘clients’ so far.
Major brick walls appeared right away in both cases. One person knew it would be hard to identify ancestors due to an adoption situation. DNA analysis is probably a next step however that’s above my pay grade. The other had me puzzling over one branch while I did what I could.
Finally, checking articles in old newspapers available on line, I hit the jackpot. Turns out the individual I was beginning to think was an only child had a sister! I also needed to be creative in spelling their surname. Using a note found with another sibling on Find A Grave led to success.
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