Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Wow, KayFry! I'm impressed that you used WordPerfect. I still prefer to use it and have version 17. Of course, we all are stuck using sub-par Word
If you decide to visit Australia, I'll give you the name of my friend in Perth. She befriended my best friend's daughter when she visited. My sons live in San Diego and Spokane, Washington. DH has a his brother's widow and tons of nieces and nephews there that we don't know well, so want to visit them in LA. I love SoCal - I was born in Long Beach during WWII and when I went to visit for the first time as an adult, it felt like I was coming home. I have to board the cat and dog. Hope the place I used years ago is still around.
I walked the doggie today but still too much ice to make it pleasurable. Don't have a horse to ride or I'd do that!! I've been horse-crazy since I could toddle! Only the Pilates machine here. I like ellipticals. Be sure to go slowly using the handles! That treadmill desk sounds cool!
You're right. The little things are vastly more important now than they were 6 months ago.
HUGS!
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What is it that you do, KayFry? It is hard to concentrate with all the BC stuff. Don't you love it that your insurance was so crappy? I assume you are or soon will be on Medicare. With the right plan you will find life much easier - at least insurance-wise! Glad that DH finds life much improved without the stress. HUGS!
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Well, there you go, we both have reasons to visit L.A. I had never been until our son moved there quite a few years ago now, and it looks as if he's there to stay. He's an artist, in a seemingly long-term relationship with another artist we love like another daughter, and as we sit here entombed in ice and gray skies here in PA tonight, I have to admit that you can't beat the weather in southern CA. It's quite lovely, despite the legendary traffic-jammed freeways. I'm from Florida, as is my husband, so I guess it's maybe odd that we ended up in PA, but I like it here in most ways. And the pacific northwest is another area that holds a lot of appeal, so it's nice that you have such lovely places in which to visit family. We have L.A., Brooklyn, NY, and Florida (where my mother still lives), but it's just hard to get around to all of them!
Luckily, my trainer, where I board my horse, has a small indoor riding arena. So if I bundle up, I can enjoy riding pretty much all winter. It's really my therapy. I was also that horse-crazy girl from toddlerhood, but didn't ever get my own horse until my early 30s. All the sweeter for waiting so long.
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I'm a writer, in recent years mostly a writer of nonfiction books for middle grade and young adult readers, but I've also written for newspapers and magazines, have written fiction (several novels still in the virtual drawer or in various stages of completion), a little poetry—pretty much everything. Including a pretty uncreative stint in corporate communications for a hospital when I first graduated from college. Yes, it's been very hard to focus with all the BC stuff, and the stuff with our SIL and etc., and I can only procrastinate for so long before I'll be in trouble with my next book deadline. Trying to get back to it . . . What kind of work did you do before retirement? I don't often run into fellow WordPerfect fans.
My husband is on Medicare now, but I'm not old enough until June, so I had to buy an individual policy to carry me through until then. It will be tremendously helpful when I can get onto Medicare! But we sure didn't time it very well, since I started my new insurance policy Nov. 1, learned by Dec. 9 that I had BC, and of course burned through my plan's deductible with all the BC stuff, only to have it re-set Jan. 1, so I'll get to pay deductible X 2 for 8 months of coverage, basically, before I jump ship for Medicare. Of course, I didn't expect that getting my overdue mammogram was going to lead where it led. As it turns out, we could have planned this whole thing a lot better. Don't even get me started on the crappy insurance! The important thing is that I did get that mammogram, though.
Kay
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Peggy - Hitting the LIKE button (for your new yoga adventure)....
I personally found pilates easier to return to after the surgeries (lx/snb and then port a month later) compared to yoga. I have learned I need a "high and tight" workout bra for yoga. The port needs to have some support for the down facing positions.. just couldn't deal with the icky feeling of the port business end dangling under my skin....
Oh Australia... Amazing things Ancestry.com can provide. My "roots" on one side included several generations in the shipping industry (1700s to late 1800s). It seems very likely that my Great Great Grandfather didn't die at sea and actually ended up with a "new life" in Australia. Chased him as best I could from 1/2 way around the globe and close to 150 years gap in time. Would love to be there and do a more thorough search....
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thanks Peggy, I will try that. It already feels tight so I will just do a little since they are going back in in a couple of days I will keep it very light. I'm getting nervous now. It's great meeting people across the globe.
Kayfry - you know me! And I have a horse too. I've been very impressed that you have ridden. I haven't even brushed him since my surgery. Although I did help my friend with her mare and brand new foal yesterday! So beautiful :-)
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A couple of hospitals here offer both yoga and Pilates for bc pts and survivors (in addition to support groups). The schedules aren't the greatest for me but I'm going to try to fit that into my schedule.
If anyone's concerned about taking one too much too fast you might see if any of the centers nearby offer something similar. The YWCA might be another option.
I love my current workouts but need something to help me shift my mindset as well as stretch my muscles and I think either yoga or Pilates could suit.
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Shaz, you ride?? I would love to hear about your horse! If there's one thing that will take my mind away from BC it's my horse, and horses in general. And dogs
I think the only reason I've been able to ride so soon after my surgery is that I was spared any node removal. I waited a week, and was very careful when I started again. The first ride was a little ouchy at the trot, so I soon moved right into canter and that was better. It's gotten better each day, though. My horse is 16 and I've had him since he was a baby, so I know him well and trust him, though he can be a bit silly in the winter. But it's so true that just being around horses, inhaling their wonderful smell, and especially a new foal, is healing. Haha, I never expected to be bonding over horses and similar-sized tumors . . . and our surgeries were also on the same day, halfway around the world apart.0 -
KayFry, how crummy that you have TWO deductibles to meet in 8 months. Ugh. Make sure you do your research well for your Medicare policy. We have Medigap policies and, while they do not cover prescriptions (that's separate), we have no copays or deductibles to meet. And THAT is damned nice.
My work background is this: grew up in the family owned greenhouse/floral shop. And loved it. DH became a floral designer when we married and discovered he was extremely talented at it and loved it. I worked there too mostly office work - no talent at all for designing. We sold the business when I was in my early 40s and I became an office manager for a small manufacturers rep agency where I worked for 22 years until the economy fell apart (we were automobile dependent). Worked for a couple years as a property manager and didn't like it. Got laid off there (still no economy in our area). Within 2 months of that layoff, DH had a catastrophic heart attack and I began my 4 years of caregiving.
That's wonderful that you write! After you meet your deadline, dust off those novels! You CAN do it. I'm a voracious reader and always need something new for my Nook! Hurry up!!
I find it difficult being so far away from my sons. The one in San Diego was in the Navy when he met his Navy wife (well, actually she's his wife whether Navy or not). In the past 10-12 years she has been stationed in Japan, two stints at Guantanamo and Korea besides San Diego. While she was abroad, my son and I would instant message nightly. What a lifeline. We still do. It's nice to know that someone is watching out for me since I'm living alone and I know Andy felt the same way when his wife was overseas and he was alone. I'd love to at least live in the same time zone as the boys!
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Shaz, gently do those exercises. And they'll be even more important after your second surgery. GENTLY!! I understand nervous completely. But we're in your pocket here. You'll feel us wiggling around as you go into surgery and know you're not alone. HUGS!!
Hopeful, there doesn't seem to be much offered around here for cancer survivors like you apparently have. No YW or YMCA here either anymore. The idea of stretching really appeals to me right now, that's why I am turning to yoga. Do join me!!
MaggieCat, how fascinating about your great great grandfather. It seems that I've heard that type of story before. Really neat. I don't have a port to worry about like you do so no support/athletic bra is necessary and no aggravation from downward positions. I did try a couple on and they gave a new meaning to muffin-top - too bad it wasn't the girls spilling out instead of underarm and back fat (which I really don't have much of). Oh well. Pilates is probably the ideal way for you right now!
HUGS ladies!
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do you ladies think it's still normal to have tenderness in the armpit and under arm? I am almost two weeks out. Good grief. lol
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How long does it take to recover from lumpectory? It has been twoweeks and I n still not 100 % myself, maybe it is due to mental stress, my period is also late and not sure wht wrong with me....
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Maggie, that is so cool about your gg grandfather. If I had uncovered something like that in my own family history, I would be going crazy to document it, find out what happened, imagine what happened and write a novel about it—something. I hope you do get to pursue it.
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ShelleyM1, it seems to take quite sometime for that underarm area to quit being annoying. Maybe 3 months or more. It won't hurt and i gather yours doesn't hurt either. But EVERYTHING on earth seems to bother it. But that does go away - honest!
colleen1013, it takes longer than 2 weeks. More like 6-8 weeks for your lumpy area to heal. You have been and are going through an extremely stressful situation. What you are experiencing is very normal. Talk to your surgeon or MO about your stress. Perhaps there's a medication that would help you. I know many of the women here have found that an anti-depressant or tranquilizer to be extremely helpful. Just try to relax and let Mother Nature do her thing.
HUGS to both of you!
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KayFry, borrow MaggieCat's story and incorporate it into your own novel!
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Peggy, I love hearing people's stories. What did your husband do after you sold the floral business, before his heart attack? How did you wind up in Detroit? (I was born in Flint, my mother was born in Flint and also my brother, and my grandfather with roots way back in the auto industry before he made his fortune in travel trailers after WWII). It's lovely that you have that close relationship with your son; I miss both of my kids, honestly, and wish they were closer. But especially it's hard to keep up with my son so far away. I will think about my novels-in-progress and get cracking. After this year, I am ready for a big change and have a few things in mind.
Hang in there, ladies. This is hard. I hope you all feel better tomorrow! Or very soon. I think everyone heals at a different rate, too. Be kind to yourself, and patient. As if I know anything, ha. But that's what people have said to me, and it seems like good advice.
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I know, Peggy! I think I should!!
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HI,
It took several months for the arm pit tenderness and numbness to feel better. I am 17 months since surgery and it still is a bit sore but now It isn't bothersome like it was.
Peggy I just started Yoga a few weeks ago- I love it I am sure you will too. My g/f and I sit and giggle because everyone is so far advanced compared to us but we do what we can and have fun. I just remember to wear my lymphodemia sleeve and that helps a whole lot.
Shaz- When I had OT after surgery I was told to do that finger walk up the wall in the shower. The hot water seemed to loosen up the area so it was easier to do. Just take it slow and you will do ok. It really is rotten how no one tells you what to do after surgery. If I had not over did it at work and asked to be referred to OT I wouldn't have been taught either. I also would lie with my arm that the lymph nodes were removed- I would lie in bed and raise it above my head for about 45 min. That helped a whole lot!!
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Colleen, I had my surgery 1/12 and did not start feeling halfway functional until mid week this week. Everyone recovers differently. Don't push yourself. Your period may be late because you are stressed. Call your GYN if you have concerns. I hope you feel better soon.
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ndgrrl, do you wear the sleeve during yoga as a precaution or do you have lymphedema? I've gotten no instructions on aftercare.
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KayFry, I wound up in Detroit because my dad went to work in the floral business right after WWII (his step-father owned it). I didn't have a choice! DH stayed in the floral industry for awhile then turned up allergic to the pesticides used on Central and South American flowers and had to stop. He then became a purchasing agent for an industrial distributor and worked there for 20 years. He had the manager from hell; he liked the guy personally but he was an awful manager. So lots of stress there.
I'm very lucky that I'm close to both sons. San Diego son doesn't really have any family around, while Spokane son has tons of his wife's family there. Thus SD son and I were often alone at night and instant messaged. Amazing how many of the world's problems can be solved by IM'ing!
Good luck figuring out what direction you want to take off towards!
NDGrrl, I did yoga videos years ago and enjoyed it then. And hadn't really been interested in doing much of anything while caregiving my husband. I am hoping my friend will go with me too. I observed a class today ("gentle") and one gal stood on her head for 5 minutes or more. While I could do that when I was young, now I get dizzy and light-headed if I think about it! Smart of you to wear your sleeve!
As i recall, I learned about "walking" my arm from the ladies here although I think I got a sheet that told me to do that exercise. But I was very aware of its importance from this group.
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how many times a day do you do the arm exercise
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Thanks ndrgrrl, that's a good idea. I'll try it when I get in the shower. I have problems with my shoulders ,(degenerative) but hopefully I can do enough to help.
Katfry, I have a 17.2 hh warmblood (bay). He'sa gentle giant. I'm 5'11" so we suit each other. I do a little dressage and jumping, but I think my jumping days are over now. How about you?
I love hearing peoples stories too! I'm always amazed when people move away from families. So brave! My parents moved to Australia from the UK when I was 4. We came over on a ship. I still remember some bits. It must have been so hard for them. They had no support and 3 kids to look after in a strange country.
My breast feels like its been rubbed with sandpaper. I'm assuming its nerves trying to remap. Where the incision is its very numb around that area. I thought I'd take a while before it healed and felt normal again.
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What does HER2 negative mean in plain English? I understand the ER/PR+ its my hormones acting as a fertilizer to the cancer. I can't find anything that explains HER2- thanks.
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Shaz, here's a link to an article on this site about HER2 HER2 You want HER2- which you have. According to my BS, ER+/PR+ and HER2- is the best if you have to have breast cancer. If you haven't explored this site, there are tons of great articles.
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tanks Peggy, it is comforting to know that is is the best of the worst :-/
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Thank you, Shelly. best wish to you.
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Peggy, it's lovely that you and San Diego son were/are able to keep each other company on those alone nights by IMing. I also feel fortunate to be close with both of our kids, though it's harder to stay in touch with our son, partly just because of the distance, schedules, and different time zones. We haven't gotten into IMing, but even texting helps! It's so interesting and strange how life happens—how you wound up in Detroit, how I wound up growing up in Florida, how one's kids find their own places, often in far-flung locations. The novelist in me is fascinated by such things :-)
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Shaz, I think we really are soul sisters, then. My horse is a 16.3 hh bay warmblood/Thoroughbred cross gelding named Reminiscent (I call him Remy), pictured now in the avatar pic of us that I just added, so you can see. And I am also tall (5'9"), so while neither my horse nor I quite measure up to you and yours in height, we're in the same neighborhood (did you always get asked, "How's the weather up there?" growing up?). I guess I could almost say my horse is a gentle giant, although he's a bit silly and still, at going-on-17, acts like a colt at times. He has a large personality, would climb in your lap if he could, and is the best horse I've ever had in my life. And yes, we do jumping (have shown in the hunters over the years) and a little dressage, though not formally in the latter, but lots of basic dressage in training. I don't think our jumping days are quite over yet, but we have both slowed down some and I have become more cautious, even before the BC. I just don't bounce as well as I used to, and even off of 16.3 it's a long way down! Not sure how old you are, but I'm 64 and I'm sure my reflexes aren't what they used to be. If my horse weren't as awesome as he is, I think I would have given up jumping before this.
Another fascinating story waiting to be told, of your family's move from the UK to Australia. It does seem very brave of them, but also adventurous, and look how that decision changed your life!
I also have some numbness around my incision, and some tenderness there and in other parts (maybe where those wires went in, partly?) I can feel some sort of lumpy scar tissue-feeling stuff in there. I don't have the feeling of my breast being rubbed with sandpaper, but sometimes I get these brief, sharp pains, and other times I get a weird kind of creepy-crawly feeling inside that I also assume is nerves trying to heal and reconnect. Last night I tried sleeping without the stretchy bra for support and protection, thought maybe it would be good to let it kind of air out, but I definitely still find it more comfortable to wear it at night. So I guess I will for awhile longer. I just feel like I need some protection there. I wonder how long that feeling will last?
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I have a healing question too, particularly about the SNB and armpit. I feel like I'm taking a long time to heal; I do feel very stressed about this whole cancer, everything got very scary very quickly.
Anyway, tomorrow will be two weeks since my lumpectomy and SNB. I developed a little dehiscence on my breast incision and it seems to me like it just does not want to close. I also have a little dehiscence on the armpit incision, but this one is smaller. My armpit is still very tender, annoying, uncomfortable and I do understand that it is to be expected.
My biggest grievance is the swelling, because I am so afraid of lymphedema. How soon should the swelling go down? Does it take as long as it does for the tenderness to go away? What are your experiences, Ladies?
BB
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