Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Peggy, that's awful! What a hard way to realize that heavy lifting doesn't do it anymore. I find that my left arm still isn't very happy if I lift very much weight with it. I gather this is going to be life-long. I hope you are able to once again lift your saddle, no fun having to ask for help and not always convenient. Be good now until you are okayed for lifting slightly heavier weights.
HUGS!!!
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Octogirl- thanks for the anethesia and insomnia link. I know from previous experiences it takes a while to get out of my body. So that makes sense.0
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Thanks, PontiacPeggy, I really learned my lesson, and I will be good for 2 weeks at least. I'm going to ride tomorrow, so I'll see how it goes. At least I can ride longer and harder now. It was a big adjustment to only ride for 15 minutes in the beginning. My horse was so reluctant to even trot, he was so careful with me. I know he could feel my weakness. He's the best horse I've ever had, and he is very connected to me. He literally stopped and would not move the first time I rode him, I was exhausted, and decided to push to go a little farther. I got his message, got off, and realized he was right!
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PeggyG, you do have one very smart horse. That's wonderful to have such a connection. Ride away!
HUGS!
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I went back to riding my bike five days after surgery. I figured since it didn't require lifting with my arms, I was good to go. And I think it totally helped me bounce back quickly. Same thing after my port, three days later I was out riding my bike. My breast surgeon was worried and I asked why, and she said well you could fall. I said heck, I can do that walking down the sidewalk, and I have!
Up in the Big Bear mountains at altitude this weekend, hopefully won't cause any arm swelling. I hate the worry of LE, I guess it will never go away.
And kids don't understand. My grandkids weight 30 and 35 pounds, and they expect grandma to carry them around all the time.
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PontiacPeggy,
Thank you from one caregiver to another! I did plan on 3 weeks extra care for him so I am glad that was a good plan. The hit to the psyche is still out there like a ticking time bomb. I haven't cried yet and have only had moments of being worried or a bit scared. I am so happy to have found all of you!
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Molly50, this may sound strange, but my BC just seemed another bump in the road of caring for DH. I was beyond exhausted and hadn't realized how stressed I was until I had the boys taking care of DH. My whole focus for 4 years had been caring for him through is heart attack and Parkinson's. It was all-consuming. I had absolutely no help until my Lx. And, I'll bet like you, never enough sleep since I was up with him 4-6 times a night. Until you've walked in a caregiver's shoes, it is hard to imagine how all-consuming it is.
If you can arrange it, you may find you need help longer than 3 weeks.
Good luck and take care!
HUGS!
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Hi all, let me preface this but saying Im a little medicated from a muscle relaxor-so I apologize in advance for not being very focused
Wow,i've beenaway for a day & 1/2, and so much has hsppened! First, thank you to thise who welcomed me during the past 2 days, and thanks for the advice on pre rad tx prep, as well as the great reassuring comments about heart palpitations.
Next, octotwin 😉, sometimes adversity helps to give us a wake up call. I was the lab supervsor od a rural primary care clinic in N California, when I was told I have a "fist size tumor" on my overy and needed surgery the next day. I couldnt wrap my mind around leaving the lab techs alone, nor were they pleased. You're hearing the squabbling of co-workers, which prob feel some of your strings being pulled. Not all is lost! Your boss prob values you now ever more, and those workplace blips eventually work out. Think of sublings acting out when mom or dad takes an extended business trip--the dynamics eventually reach another equilibrium when you retun--refreshed(ahem). And Im also sorry to hear about the size difference of your tumor, and now having to playmore of the waiting game!!! Take the time you need to honor yoursef
Someone had mentioned their horse being theraputic I was certified in Equine-assisted psychotherapy The tx is on the ground-you dont ride the horse, but the horse can be a powerful modality to help people breakthrough personal struggles or trauma. It can be amazing. If you look up this tx, note that is it NOT therapy-riding (often for physically or mentally challenged folks)
So there is Octo, Nash54, Midge, and myself in the scubalump group? Perhaps in the future we can meet for a dive trip. I dove Cozumel many times and love it The Bahamas are soeasy to just snorkle, bVI's are fun shallow (>65') dives, Calif, Catalina, are 5"ml burrr dives.
I went to Puerto Rico with a girlfrind for a long weekend dive trip--when I had the cardiac spasms (tech a heart attack). Ironically I planned that trip to give myself a break from caring for my demented-and very angry mother. Maybe I didnt take that trip soon enough? Ha!
So an update on my appts w/bs and ro yesterday: both say im healing well but tx is still pending biomarkers. Grrrrr, its been 7 days since sx and really 23 days since the stereotactic bx. This can't be the standard of care?? Anyhow, Yesterday I woke up and left like i slept on a brick, crushing into my L dorsal ribcage. Could not walk without assistance. Bs suggested it was postop spasms and gave me Rx of Flexoril (muscle relaxor), as I tossed the postop script of oxycodon in the trash. I think the pain had the RO more concerned and is rulling out other things. Oh joy, right ladies?
Sorry this is so long and rambling!
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SweetMamaJ, just take a really deep breath and relax. I think you are a tad stressed (isn't that a "duh"?). Path reports and all the other stuff takes its own time. If your BS or RO had them, they'd have given them to you yesterday. Doesn't mean anything sinister. If you had an Oncotype done, it takes 2 weeks from when it is sent in.
That's rotten about your rib cage. Hope the muscle relaxer is doing its job and you are considering living again. The RO is concerned not only for you but how something unforeseen could impact the start of your Rx. Glad he is involved!
Now, if you are feeling up to it, pick up a book and read. Or sleep. Just take it easy. Let Mother Nature take over and heal you. REST!!!
HUGS!!!!
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thanks pontiac! I have been feeling down (octo--you're not alone), and then become more frustrated at my pity-party instead of being positive.
I appreciate your gentle feedback
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I'm glad I was gentle, SweetMamaJ. Of course, you're feeling down! You've been sideswiped by BC. If we had them, it would be a kick in the balls. So we have to cope with surgery and all the other stuff we need to do to kill the cancer plus come to the realization that we aren't invincible. That we lost this particular lottery. It IS depressing. Recently a study pointed out that we are likely to suffer from fatigue from just having BC for a year. It's not helped by some of our treatments and possible depression but it hangs around. I know that reading that made me feel so much better. I have been mostly doing the bare minimum (except my wonderful vacation to visit both sons). I was exhausted before BC hit and that finally went away last winter. But still fatigued. Now that I know it is quite common, I feel much better. Still fatigued but the mood has lightened.
And we ALL have pity parties so we "get" them! And we're glad to listen, provide a shoulder and kind words. Always feel free to share whatever you're feeling. Most likely someone has felt it too.
And if you can, please try to think POSITIVE!! It DOES help!!
HUGS!!!!
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sweetmamaj, good luck with the waiting and I hope you are feeling better soon. But don't push it. I am actually feelings bit better today...thanks I large part to reminders from you ladies that this acting out of my staff may be in fact partly a reaction to my being gone. Nicer to believe that than to think that there is really a huge problem, but in any case I feel better. And I found a blank card in a drawer that is perfect for hubby for his birthday so need to go to the store....
Would love to do a dive trip with you all some day. By the way, on a cheery note, when I had an assessment apt with the LE therapist she told me that scuba was really great for both prevention and controlling of LE, both because of the hyperbaric effect and because of wetsuit compression. So, something to look forward too!
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the not lifting is the worst. I had to teach my three year old to climb up on the change table. (I know I know). Ii pushed it next to her bed and bolted it to the wall. If she wants me to pick her up, she has to climb up on the bed or couch and wrap her arms around me and pull herself up. I can carry her but not lift her. I also had to teach her about my "bad side" and my "port side". Depending on what we were doing, one side has to be dealt with. And she had to learn to climb into the car seat...she liked that one. I bought a stool so she could climb on the potty. It also helps her climb in the tub now. I''ve actually had to adjust the most with her, and she understands it the least, but she's a trooper. She knows we are going to Cinderellas castle when my medicine is all done, and she tknows my hair will be better by the time Santa comes. I had to put milestones in terms she could understand.
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Trejoli, what creative things you've come up with for your little one! Very smart. And I love how you've explained the time frames to her and the treat she gets after you get your "medicine."
HUGS!!
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octo, have you checked out non-medical advertised compression sleeves? Might be lower cost. My son is a swimmer--has several arm and leg sleeves to help rid lactate buildup after long swims. . Compressport is a good brand; another is k2? Or something that is sold at dicks sporting goods. Go for seamless ones that don't compress at the ends.
So glad you are feeling brighter.!!!! Our bodies have been assaulted, our minds have been processing completely new and scary info, we still see ourselves as strong smart, capable, and automous women, so we get down when we can't do tasks that were once taken for granted. Just a pushing open heavy doors Midgie(btw I try touse my scapula area to push swinging door), picking up kids or grandkids, or being a cheerful and empathic caregiver. We feel sad when we are not operating the way we think we Should operate. Or at least thats me. Perfectionism sucks and thats why I joined this group. (-see my 1st few posts). I still cant find a catharsis--and so desperatly need to let go and stop intelectualizing and just be ok with the fact that it's ok to feel _______. It doesn't mean I will be stuck there.
Damn, sorry I was rambling again--I won't write again until this muscle relaxer is out of my system.
Hang in there everyone!
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Sweetmamaj,
You said that so well! It really is hard to see ourselves not operating the way we think we should. I take care of my 3 year old grandson in the mornings and drop him off at preschool. In anticipation of my Lx next Wednesday I have been teaching him to climb in and out of my car and his car seat. He got in and out by himself this morning! My daughter and I are going to talk to him before Wednesday about grandma not being able to pick him up and having a "boo boo" he will have to be careful of. Between my son and him it is painful to think of myself as less capable. Tresjoli2, your little one is quite the trooper alright!
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Molly the biggest struggle right after the lx was story time. My daughter always sat on my lap and leaned on my left side. She couldn't do that post surgery, so you either have to switch sides, or you have to move to reading in bed. We switched sides. When the LX healed, and I had the port in, we switched back to the boo boo side because it was healed. Sounds like you've got the car seat covered. I showed my daughter my boo boo in bandages so she could understand. She totally got it and was great. But she would run around telling strangers I had a boo boo. Lol. Awkward. She is fascinated with my port.
You will see a social worker after you lx. Make sure she knows you care for your grandson. My social worker had lots of info on what and how to tell kids. My 8yo gets different information from my 3yo. The American cancer society has great materials too. Hugs
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I just want to reassure the newbies that it is definitely normal to feel a range of emotions. Even with a positive attitude you will sometime hit a wall and that's ok. I know for me I didn't start getting back to "normal" until around 4 months after all treatment was done. Things really do get better with time. (((Hugs)))
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So right, Nash. I think I am starting to get back to whatever normal is. I have had so many other things going on that it has taken much longer than it would have otherwise, I think. Maybe achieving my One Year Survivor anniversary opened the way for me. And I've gotten used to my new life with DH in a nursing home. But staying positive has helped me get through it all; it may not work for everyone but do give it a try.
HUGS!
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I have absolutely loved reading through this thread tonight and seeing everyones support, being reminded to be positive (it really does help), and just finding a lot of affirmation of things I've gone through or am still going through. I am also still a bit fatigued, although I'm back to normal exercise; my husband (and really me too) thinks the Arimidex may make me a bit "snappish" or impatient at times. I could go on. I go for my six month post-radiation mammogram/ultrasound on August 5...trying to wait two weeks to think about that!
Now I'm the one rambling. I pray for you all as you come to mind, and ask you for the same. I think unless you are going through it, it can be hard to understand the impact of the things we are dealing with on a regular basis.
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Reader, It may take more time before the fatigue (and not just from rads) goes away. But I was so happy to know it was NORMAL!! I thought I was unusual (while I don't mind that for most things, I'd rather not be unusual with BC).
It's possible that you are suffering menopausal symptoms. They should go away.
I was pleasantly surprised that my 6 month post-rad mammogram didn't hurt at all. I thought it might be uncomfortable. Nope. Just like they've always been, maybe even a bit more gentle since the tech knew I'd had an Lx. Try not to worry.
HUGS!!
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Tresjolie2,
Thank you for the information. My grandson sits on my left side, too. My other challenge is sleeping as that is my favorite side. Okay off to nurse the headache I have had for 24 hours due to no aspirin allowed before surgery.
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Hi all....feeling so much better today. Finally, I feel almost real and normal. Well, I doubt if I will feel the same normal ever again, but you all know what I mean....The fact that it is a gorgeous day outside helped.
Anyway, I'd be reading on one of the threads about exercise helping with the tiredness, even if that seemed counter-intuitive, and it got me to thinking: I have moderate osteoarthritis in both knees (I know, not going to be fun when they put me on hormonal therapy, which I am anticipating...)... in any case, I have learned over time (and of course no doctor ever told me this...grr...) that exercise, particularly walking, hurts at first but that doesn't mean I should avoid it. Walking actually lessens the arthritis pain over time and if done regularly. I started to wonder if the same counter-intuitive thing could be true with my total lack of energy.
So, I went for a walk around the neighborhood early this am, while it was still cool. I did half a mile, took me half an hour. That is slower than my ordinary walking pace, which is slow to begin with, and pre-surgery I had been doing about 1-2 miles per day....but still, it felt GREAT to get outside, and to see how brown the neighbors lawns are all getting (the drought you know, around here in California 'brown is the new green') and to greet a few neighbors who were out doing yard work or walking themselves in the cool of the morning.
Two hours later, and I still feel good. I plan to do a whole lot of nothing the rest of the day, but if I continue to feel like this it will be back to morning walks for me every day, which would really help my outlook as I wait for oncologist apt a week from Monday and the big 'chemo or no chemo' decision....even if I have to stay at half a mile for a while.
Cheers and good healing thoughts for all.
Octo.
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Awesome Octogirl!lots of studies on how exercise affects fatigue and mood. Not to mention the research on exercise and osteoporosis!Loved that you look it slow and easy, and took time to enjoy the weather and neighbors !I believe that psychologically, our brain gives us the old "atta-girl" thumbs up for doing something we are proud of. So we tend to feel even better and are motivated to repeat the behavior (positive reinforcement).
You are my role-model--all of you gals--who help with shared stories of wisdom, pain, encouragement, and hope.
On a side note, I hope to follow your footsteps and get some exercise soon, but Im afraid my sudden rib/back pain might be a spontaneous compression fracture from the surgery table and mammogram squeeze. At least that's what a couple of friends who are doctors told me.
Keep positive right!! 😀. It's easier now that I'm off the muscle relaxers. And certainly easier after reading everyone's words of encouragement!!
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sweetmamaj, oh no, that would be a total drag if it turns out to be true about the compression fracture! Talk about adding insult to injury...sending good healing thoughts your way. Edited to add: and thanks for the encouragement to keep walking!
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Octogirl, you're sweet, thanks! Im keeping positive. Whatever it is will just have to take a back seat. Breast cancer trumps
. and this is just another reminder for me to brush up onpatience and prioritizing. 0 -
Peggy I agree, it is good to know it's normal. I am a typical type A personality and so have to remind myself sometimes to just give things time.
Your comment about menopause symptoms is interesting as my "real" menopause was a breeze. But based on what arimadex does, it makes sense. And based on recent data that suggests they WORK, I'll take it!
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Reader425, I'm so not a Type A personality. So slothfulness is my middle name. But in the last couple days I've somehow gotten energy and I'm DOING things around the house that should be done. A little at a time. I'm still not loaded with endless reserves.
My "real" menopause was also a breeze. And so far, so has Arimidex been. It's been 9 months so I anticipate it will continue that way. But I'm 70 so maybe that makes a difference in SEs in my case. I'd go with the it's WORKING theory, too Now I'm wondering if the really "strong" birth control pills I took might be an influence in the breezy menopause and lack of SEs now. I took the original ones - Enovid 10s, then 5s, then something else with fewer hormones that I didn't like as well. Forget what it was (OrthoNovum?)
HUGS!!
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Octogirl--I think you are so right about exercise helping with fatigue. I have found I feel so much better if I stay active, so I have been pushing myself to walk even if I don't feel like it. I am at 13/36 with the radiation treatments and don't have fatigue (yet) so I am sticking with the exercise every day. Stay tuned...
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I have slacked off on yoga and walking (due to summer vacation and travels and no schedule) and I can really tell the difference in my energy level...which has been low...the heat hasn't helped either. But I'm encouraged to get back on track after reading your comments! When we don't feel like doing it is when we need it the most.
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