Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Molly, that IS good news. Glad you can proceed!!
AnkleDolphin, remember not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk!! And pay attention to your fatigue!
HUGS!!!
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Molly - I think this was referenced somewhere in these discussion boards but before my bmx I ordered two of the Heal in Comfort shirts. They are soft (kind of ugly) over sized shirts with velcro closures up the front. They also have pockets in the inside front to hold the drains. I have lived in these shirts. I changed into one as soon as my catheter came out and it helped me to feel human again quickly. The shirts enabled the doctors and nurses to look at my incisions, dressings and drains quickly and easily while still providing me some dignity! I'm super glad I invested in them because I will be able to use them for reconstruction as well. My insurance did pay for a couple of camis but I have found that they bind me in a weird way and cause me pain and discomfort with the drains. Once the drains come out, I will wear them more for the poobs (pillow boobs) right now I only wear the cami when I want to look like I sort of have boobs. I found preparation, physical and mental was such a huge part of quick healing. I decided to order these tops at the last minute and paid a little extra to have them shipped 2 day. I'm so glad I did. Keep us posted on how your procedures go.
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AnkleDolphin - Wow you've got a lot going on in your family. It sounds like you are handling things really well and springing back. I was amazed at how quickly I got back to things after my lx. My BS actually didn't give me any lifting restrictions and told me to just get back to life as normal as I could. I listened to my body and followed it as a guide for pain and what I could/couldn't do. BS gave me the same advice after the bmx but this one is gonna take a little longer. I feel good but I get worn out pretty quick and I move a lot slower than I did a week ago. Just remember to take it easy when you can.
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I just have to say my husbands work SUCKS!!!! He's in the military and his commanding officer has determined that my condition is a liability to future (way future) missions. Even though my surgeon has written a letter stating that my bmx is probably the last procedure I will have to have and that any future treatments will not require my husband's presence, his commanding officer has initiated a transfer for my husband to another command which will mean a reduction in pay for my DH. I am so spitting mad. My DH has only taken 5 days of leave all summer and only when absolutely necessary. He has plenty of leave on the books and he is doing his job without much interference. Apparently the CO has a past experience with a wife with "BC" and can't see past it. We've tried explaining that mine is Stage 0, non-life threatening and just needs to be dealt with. For heavens sake - I even chose a bmx instead of a umx so to reduce the chances of further procedures. UGH. We've told them that there is no hardship requiring this drastic of a change but the CO is insistent. To make matters worse, our family spent the last weekend and days before my surgery filling out paperwork and obtaining statements necessary to file all the paperwork they are requiring. They even wanted our 9 year old daughter to write a statement. She had a massive meltdown and I put my foot down. Absolutely ridiculous. My husband finally got them to back off of me on Wednesday (day before my surgery) when I had my own meltdown because the situation had pushed me over the edge of sanity. I think the thing that is weighing on me now as I wait for my pathology results is "what if this is a foreshadowing of things to come," "what if they find something more and ugly in my SNB, the rest of my breast or even in my other breast." I'm trying to stay positive but I just think this is cruel. Other than healing and elective reconstruction, I could be done and that is what we are praying for. (sorry so long - just had enough)
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Molly, that's great news! Ankledolphin heal quickly it sounds like you will be busy!0
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Ringelle, that's awful! What a POS your DH has for a CO. Too bad there isn't any appeal of his decision. I'd have melted down too with all that he required. Write to the Joint Chiefs of Staff! It can't hurt and you'll feel oh so much better (probably DH should do it). He should not be penalized for something that MAY happen NEVER. The CO could drop dead tomorrow too. Wonder if he thought of that???? Argh. Pissed on your behalf!
HUGS! More HUGS!
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Haha! Peggy! I just love you! You are so gentle and dole out the best virtual hugs and then you can dole out the righteous P&V with the best of them! My DH is at 23 of 26 years. He is a very compliant guy and doesn't like to rock the boat. In one sense - I agree with him that if they don't want him there - he shouldn't be there! Once he's not in the command anymore, I am going to write a letter! I just have to respect my husband in this matter - he doesn't get involved with my career and I don't get involved with his either. One cool thing that came of this is that the day I had my meltdown I called Fleet & Family Services to get some advice. (anonymously) The lady I spoke to shared with me that 2 years ago she had gone through a very similar experience as mine. Turns out she and I have the same surgeon. We spent an hour comparing notes and talking about how much we LOVE our BS! It was really reassuring to talk to someone the day before surgery who had a similar procedure done by the same surgeon. I never would have talked to her if it hadn't been for my husband's work situation! (find the silver linings)
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Ringelle, thanks! That is beyond wonderful that you fell into talking to that gal at Fleet Services. It must have been extremely comforting. 23 years is good and I can understand where DH is coming from - if you're not wanted you're better off where you are appreciated and wanted. He'll be happier even if it might not be the job he wants, it may work out very well for him. My son was in the Navy 4 years and my DH just retired in February after 20 years.
HUGS!!
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Ringelle: that just SUCKS!!!! I am not military and don't have much experience with it, so my first reaction was to tell you to consult a lawyer (in my business the boss who tried to do that would be in serious trouble...) but then I calmed down and read your post more thoroughly and I totally get where you and hubby are coming from...but nothing to stop you from writing that letter when he retires!! Anyway...glad you found help to at least talk it out and so sorry you are going through this. I'd have melted down too. In fact I've come close with much less provocation: indeed at a meeting today we were told budgets would be a little tight for the next few years and we'd be able to keep all current programs but not have much for discretionary funding: and just THAT was enough to make me feel like crying, but I mean, really, it was NOTHING like what you are going through. How DARE they ask your daughter for a statement!
Molly, great news! Celebrating with you tonight!
And Ankle: wow, sounds like crazy times ahead. Take care of yourself!
Xox and HUGS!!!
Octogirl
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Ringelle, I agree--write to the Joint Chiefs of Staff! It can't hurt and who knows? When I read your post, I wanted to scream: Lets write to someone! Obama! Biden! McCain! Oprah! Colbert! someone---great opportunity to jump on the bandwagon and show some much needed common sense and compassion. And..Wow, what a blessed coincidence that you connected on a personal level with the woman from F&F. Maybe it's the universe's way of showing you how to rock that proactive card.
At any rate, I know first hand how horrible it is when your hubb's job is threatened, and unfairly. Let's not even bring gender into this mix, because we don't need a powder keg--we need level heads.
Edited to say from reading the post 24 hours ago: Sounds like your DD is adjusting amazingly well! That she get's to participate and "take care of mom" probably ups her confidence/ worth in the family stock, at the same time of trying to wrap her brain around that is actually going on in a safe atmosphere.
Edited to say: If you didn't have so many women on this board ready to kick some serious brass ass: That SUCKS! She should be the poster child for a model US Military child; one who see's the realities of conflict abroad, but also who deals with the sometimes harsh realities of civilian life, including the dichotomous threat towards livelihood. And of course, a good propaganda film will show the happy ending with tons of war bonds floating from the sky, equal pay and status grade form women, and men standing up and applauding women for leaving the way so men now reap the benefits of unstigmatized conversations about penile and testicular cancers, overt treatment options, and sensitive treatment centers. Instead she is terrified and frightened by the process. I'm so sorry that happened.
Maybe some day in the not-so-distant future. But for now, hug her and let know know that her number one job is being a 9-10 y/o kid, followed by #2, which is to promise mommy and daddy that she won't date until she's 35!
Sorry these tangents seem to be stuck on me like brown on rice! hahah Hope this didn't offend anyone. Sweet dreams all!
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Ringelle, I am so angry on your behalf. If someone caused my child to have a meltdown I would be furious! Your DH sounds like a very calm and reasonable guy. I hope this works out for the best in the long run. Ankle dolphin please don't push yourself too hard. You want to heal properly first. I am sorry you have so much going on in your family. I understand your need to be a caretaker quickly. That's my main reason for wanting a umx instead of BMX. I need to heal properly and as soon as possible to take care of my DS again.
Ladies, thank you for being here. I feel a thousand pounds off my shoulders.
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Ringelle, thank you so much for the recommendation of the shirts. I bought the kit and one extra shirt. I bought pink pockets the other day but these are great! OK, kinda of ugly lol but just what I need. I was hesitant to buy a camisole because I don't know how I will feel or what my PS will require me to wear.
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Yay AnkleDolphin so glad you are doing well after your lx. Pamper yourself and rest. Sorry your family is dealing with so many health issues right now. Hope their recovery is swift.
Molly glad you got some good news.
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Thank you - each and every one of you for your support and prayers. This is my first foray into the world of being a complete airhead (at least as I tell my own story) and I can barely put one foot in front of the other, these days. Meanwhile, I am putting on that fake "I've got this under control" face, while I run the family, a business, the dog, and . . . some other 50,000 things you all know about. My son is a little over an hour away. He is the stoic type, very bright (like, perfect-SAT-scores bright) and enjoys thinking about things without engaging in small talk. I have made him promise to TELL me what we are dealing with tomorrow and not just "think about it." Very tricky! He is 29, so - a man, yet Mom is totally frantic while pretending to be cool headed. We are very, very close and are in business together. Thank you for letting me spill my guts. His appointment is 3:00 Tuesday, Cali time, and I will be there early, sitting in reception when he arrives. We Moms just cannot help ourselves.
Peggy - Living with glass half empty people can be difficult and draining, so hugs sent your way.
Must Love Poodles - Same message, plus added, hysterical laughter because, on my page, your name shows up as "Must Love Poo" and that makes me smile.
BJ - No drain here, just drained
Molly - Thank you; I pray for all women because we are nurturers, caregivers and . . . do all the work and worrying, basically.
Horsegirl - I hear ya. Making arrangements to go hug a horse this week, which I desperately need.
Sweet Mama J - Great insights!
Octogirl - As a former New Yorker, I like all that diversity as it enlarges our lives . . .
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Ringelle, I echo everything everyone has said above. It is downright astounding! I'm sorry this extra stress was and is added to you and your family!0
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BGardenia...29 is a tough age...(aren't they all!?!). My son is just two years older. Yes, he is a man, but you know on some level he still needs his Mom, and especially in times like this. So many ((((HUGS)))) going out to you today and at three our Cali time we will all have you and Dear Son in our pockets, as Peggy says. Please keep us posted!
xoxoxox
Octogirl
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BGardenia, you and your son are so close and regardless of how stoic he is, I have little doubt that he will be relieved and grateful when he walks into the waiting room and sees you!
Add me to your pocket. or whomever has the pockets that jingle, maybe I'll add you to mine. (so confused) Peggy? some help here!0 -
SweetMamaJ, definitely in your pocket too. I'm magically able to be in a number places at once! HUGS!!!
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Hi Horsegirl, my RN just told me that my oncotype result should be completed by the 25th! But since I will be out of town at a conference that week, I wondered if I could get a 1st opinion at the cancer treatment center where the conference is located. The RN said she will try to get the ball rolling to see if the MO there would have any consultation openings for me next week. Funny how my 1st opinion will be from an out of town doc. If I hadn't been waiting so long, I might be laughing, but still tempted to sneeze (wink wink) tarfu when I get around to my 2nd opinion. Hang in there! xoxox
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Sweet - go after it girl! Your sneezes will be more informed
Ringelle- I'm aghast for your daughter's sake. Good time to launch the mammabear response. Hugs!!
Barbara - will be praying for you & your son, especially today.
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Bgardenia- thinking good thoughts for you and your son today at 3!! Xo0
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Ringelle: I'm outraged on your behalf! Can't believe you would have to go through that BS when you should have been concentrating on getting ready for surgery, especially after all you've been through. Makes me really hope that karma exists.
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AnkleDolphin - glad to hear you are out and doing okay. I'm getting nervous, but your description of how you are feeling is making me feel better about things!
Molly - one of the hospitals here in Phoenix has a store with prosthetics, bras, wigs, etc for women with breast cancer. The plastic surgeon gave me a card to go in and get a free cami from them. I just haven't made it over there, and I doubt I will at this point.
Peggy - thank you again for your kind and encouraging words!!!
Ringelle - I'm sorry for your added stress.
I feel like I'm missing everything if I don't check the boards every hour or two.
But work calls, and they are being so good to me with all of this (they kept my insurance in place despite a 20% premium increase on July 1), so I feel like I need to give them 110% right now. So I'm sorry to those I have missed.
Today my daughter (she's 12) left on her "Ropes Course." She goes to a Montessori charter school and started 7th grade this year. 7th grade is a whole new experience for Montessori kids - and the Ropes Course is up North in Prescott (thankfully, because it's danged hot here in Phoenix) and they do a lot of team building and bonding. I (actually my mom) will pick her up Friday afternoon. I didn't want her here during my surgery because she tends to get very protective and worried when she's around and I'm not 100%. This way, her mind and body will be busy during the day. Although her teachers know, and she's allowed to call me on Thursday if she has any stress or worry. Anyway - what I'm getting at is I miss her already. My house is so quiet without her. It's just been me and her for 6 years now...and although we are very independent gals, we do miss one another.
I think I'm going to get a pizza and watch Pride and Prejudice. Nothing can be wrong with Darcy in the house!!!
Have a good night all - and hope everyone is feeling well.
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BJClaywell, I can imagine how much you are missing your daughter. Do try to get to the store and get your free cami. Or maybe your mother could pick it up for you. I think it will be worthwhile for you. We'll all be in your pocket for you jumping around and dancing so don't be startled!
HUGS!!!
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Hi all,I wanted to share a victorious picture! I am finishing radiation this week, and took a photo with my wonderful RO and his amazing medical assistant today! This was my last time seeing him during treatment... Hang in there! I am 3 months post LX and so happy with my progress!
Much love,
Midgie
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Midgie! Way to go! You look fantastic! I still see my RO. Last time was January and I see him in October. All these follow-ups are quite comforting to me.
HUGS!!!
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Bjclaywell....your evening sounds divine! Enjoy your pizza and P&P....will be thinking of you on the 20th. It'll be over before you know it and you'll be back home resting. Just be sure to ice the area to keep the swelling down. (((Hugs)))
Midgie....LOVE the pic. You look great!! Thanks for sharing and glad you'll be finished with rads this week and can get on with your life!!!!
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Peggy,
This was the first time I was fully dressed in front of my RO! I see him in a month. I am completely smitten with him
. Very kind, intelligent, and competent!Ahhhh the end is near!
midgie
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Bj- pizza is always a great idea and great picture midgie!!!0
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Thank you all for your shared anger with my DH's situation! I knew you all would understand where I was coming from and the added stress of it all.
When I woke up this morning I was afraid of how this day was going to progress. I noticed right away that my drain was malfunctioning. I played with it awhile but it wouldn't stay compressed and kept filling up with air and not draining at all. Later this afternoon, I realized that the drain incision was also leaking onto the dressing quite a bit. It took most of the day for my nurse to track down my surgeon who was off site at a meeting all day. He asked to meet me at the hospital after clinic hours. Apparently Surgeon B on my bmx will probably have a butt chewing and drain tube training since his was an epic fail in all ways. Of course my BS was very pleased with the work on his side! Anyway - he ended up pulling both of my drains! The one had to come out (didn't hurt at all) and the other was close anyway (Hurt like more pain than I've felt to date but immediately stopped)! While I was there he also checked for my results! He came back in and declared me cured! We don't often get to do the happy dance around here so here's me up on the desk doing a jig! 5 days post op and I'm drain free and will probably sleep better than I have in 4 months! I won't know until next week if I will have to do radiation or tamoxifen but my BS says most likely I won't. This time he got negative margins, my SNB was clear and my left side was clear! I have to admit it took some time to really process this news as I am so used to keeping my guard up for bad news! Now back to the work of resting, healing and restoring range of motion (praying for no infection from that blasted drain)! Then the work for preparing myself for reconstruction gets serious!
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