Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Celand, I agree with Molly, the Miaderm-L was what I referred to and I bought it on Amazon (around $50 I believe for quite a large tube.) I still have tons left. Luckily, I didn't have to have the nodes radiated which helped me a bit.
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DaraB, I am getting kind of sore underneath now but it has not gotten to a point where I cannot wear my bra - I will need to find a soft undergarment as it will be strange not wearing a bra - it is a good thing that I don't work directly in public - I have a "behind the scenes" job, so hopefully I can lay low during this time period. If worse comes to worse I can take a few sick days, that is what they are there to be used for.
Molly50, I will try UdderlySmooth tonight - thank you so much for the suggestion of Miaderm - I have searched all over for lotions with no alcohol and have found none! Guess that my RO will prescribe something for me if my skin breaks down. I have one more 3 day weekend, which is New Year's weekend. But this is just the beginning so I guess if I need to take a day or so off, my RO will allow me to.
Celand
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Celand -- It was suggested that I wear men's "wife beater" t-shirts..
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Celand, my sister is a redhead and her skin got really burnt up during rads. She finally had to stop wearing a bra altogether, quite the feat for someone who weighs 350-lbs. She's a teacher and never missed a moment of school, despite her embarrassment. Fortunately, she teaches elementary school, so the kids never noticed a thing.
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Update from the Poodles house...
DH plans to have a talk with our 30yo son very soon. It is long overdue and we've put it off purposefully until after Christmas, so as to not impede our holiday. DS graduated from welding school last summer. He got a good job right away, saving money, and was hoping to move out by January. Then they had lay-offs in Nov and he was one of the many cut (last hired, first fired.) Since then he has been happy to sleep all day, drink and play video games all night, or go out drinking with his friends. Thankfully, he doesn't drive impaired, so he sleeps over on the friends' couches. One night recently he came home completely stoned--eyes dilated, slurred speech, euphoric, and absolutely reeking of pot. This was the first time that we have caught him stoned. His drug of choice has always been alcohol (he is an alcoholic, for sure.)
DS rarely pitches in with housework. His rooms are a mess, his bathroom/my hall bath looks like four goats took a shower in there, and he leaves dirty dishes everywhere. He doesn't pay rent, his cell phone bill, his car insurance or health insurance. And he gets all out of joint if one of us confronts him. At Christmas he laid on the couch, couldn't even be bothered to sit up to open presents. Then after he complained about what he got, he lay down and slept on the couch for the rest of the day. When he woke up he started watching a soft-porn movie and accused me of being intolerant when I told him to turn it off! In other words. DS30 is living the life of a rebellious teenager.
We know that we have created this monster. We have allowed this to go on far too long. DH is not looking forward to having this conversation, but we both know that DS will get his back up with me--he has always been more reactive toward me and can be quite verbally aggressive. At this point we want him OUT; we are ready for the empty nest and we need to start our projects so we can get the house ready to sell next year .And we just want our space, ya know? DS30 has a lucrative skill that would be plenty to support himself. He needs to find a job and a roommate, ASAP.
I don't know how we will get him out of this house if he refuses to go. I wouldn't put it past him to force us to formally evict him. In the past, he has told people that we threw him out. Once, he told a teacher that we kept in chained in a box under the stairs and got CPS involved! I love my son, but he is driving us to distraction. Not to mention that he is costing us a LOT of money. I want to retire in 2 years, but I can't that while we're supporting him (we also pay DD23's car and health insurance, and that's about to come to an end, as well.)
This is causing DH considerable anxiety, to the point that he is medicating himself twice a day. I've insisted that he see a psychiatrist to get on the right meds, rather than self-medicating. He takes a buttload of other meds, so he needs a doctor who specializes in pharmacology (that would be a psychiatrist.) The average PCP would not be able to handle this project.
In the meantime, I am trying to get psychologically ready for DIEP reconstruction in New Orleans in Feb. I do not need this distraction and upset right now.
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Poodles, I will be praying for your DH conversation with DS. My DS starts his job on the 9th of January. This is the end of us supporting him. He's not a problem, he just took too long to finish college. He is 33. He starts a REALLY good job and plans on helping us out for a change. DD24 is the problem child for us. She still "lives with us" but stays at her BF's apartment with DGS a lot. She thinks she is "self supporting" and the we are holding her back from moving on with her adult life. However WE pay her cell, car insurance and gasoline plus DGS preschool. I am good with her moving out and getting on with life but not on my dime. These "kids" are just too much I tell ya.
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Molly, I really get it. These adult kids are harder to raise than my toddlers were. My 23yo DD is trying her best to get on her feet and she is swimming circles around her brother. She's renting a house with her boyfriend and two other friends. She's got a good job, making good money, pays her rent & utilities on time, buys her own food and gas. The only things we are paying for her are her cell phone, car insurance, and health insurance--starting Jan 1 her health insurance drops from $180/mo to about $70/mo, so I plan to shift that bill over to her.
For Christmas, DD made all the roommates homemade stockings and bath & body care products. She gave us each a coupon for a "date" with her at sometime in the future. She gave her little brother (the handicapped one) some Fig Newtons and Little Debbie snack cakes that he adores. Really thoughtful gifts. We gave her some money for Christmas and she immediately told us she plans to buy a bicycle so she can take the bike to work, instead of driving her Jeep (except when it's raining, of course.) I mean, this girl has got it going on!
It's funny that we have our two younger kids launched. I mean, Christian doesn't have a job, but he goes to school or his day program 6 days a week and works hard there. He does chores at his house and is generally easy to have around. I know you're not supposed to compare your children, but how come our mentally handicapped child who has the mind of a 1yo can be such a good citizen and our 30yo is just a slob.
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Poodles, what an awful situation you're in. I don't envy you and DH that talk with DS. I agree that it needs to be done. I can't believe you haven't murdered him already
Good luck. I'm in your pocket - hope it helps. Let us know how it goes and if we can do anything to help you out. You need to get on your retirement road, sell the house and just plain LIVE!! Keep that goal in mind. Don't postpone it. Time's too short.HUGS!
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Poodles, praying that DH finds the right words & that DS is open to hearing them. Neither of you need the additional stress that he is causing you!
Celand, hoping your skin holds up
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Poodles, praying that this will resolve peacefully and you can go forward with your life... I don't have children and thought how much I missed... well i did miss a lot, but then the grown up kids make me feel blessed I don't have any to deal with
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Yay! Got to ring the bell... (or hit the gong!)
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Poodles...praying for DH and you all as you have to deal with this. We have had issues with our oldest forever. For now we are in remission with him if you can use that word. He's married and they have a son my little Leo who is 10 months. Plus they moved away. But he drinks too much and it gets ugly than I get ugly and it's like... help I need my chemo anxiety meds!! I always thought since he is adopted that I just can't figure out his temperament? But I see we can all have problems even with our biological children. I pray you DS is going to be open to this conversation. Since you can't be held hostage any longer.
Molly & Poddles we need to start a new support group ..haha! I'm in...
Radiation #8 for me today!
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Dara ...woohoo...whoot whoot...amen & halilulja 💪❤️💪 Yay you girl ...so happy! Can't believe it seems it went so quickly ...weren't we just in the chemo world? Happy...Happy...Happy 💪❤️💪 You did it
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Dara, Congratulations!!! and you got to hit the Gong.. Welcome to the After side..
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Fantastic Dara !!!!
Seems like everyone has problems with their children these days... I hope every thing works out ok for you poodles
My Radiation will be starting on Jan 3rd.
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Dara, YES!! Won't it be nice to not have to be anywhere every day?
HUGS!
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Congratulations, Dara! Caligirl, yes!! I forget where in California you live.
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Yay, Dara!
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Hooray for Dara! I know you must be sooooo happy to be done with rads! Now, take your life back, girl!
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Thanks everyone! Now I'm here to still help cheer on others going through it just as others cheered me on! Thank you all so very much!
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Mustlovepoodles,
I feel your pain, we have a 26 year old who we have had numerous challenges with her living in our home and being extremely messy - she has also moved out a couple of times but boomeranged back! I don't know what it is with kids nowadays, they certainly do not go out on their own right after high school or even college. Hope that you and husband make headway with your ds - I know that you both are ready for him to be out of the nest. Plus you don't need this kind of stress. A website that I have occasionally browsed and contributed a couple of comments had some interesting articles on adult children living at home. It is www.empoweringparents.com. Celand
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DaraB,
Congrats on getting to ring the bell! They have a bell to ring at end of treatment at the place where I go for rads too!
Celand
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Thank you, Celand. We are seriously considering selling the house and a) moving into a 1br apartment, b) moving into our RV, or c) moving to Poulsbo, WA, where my beloved sister lives. Or a combination of those three choices. I could always just burn the place down, but I don't think I'd look good in an orange jumpsuit.
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Ok, my MO needed to know my menopausal status to determine what type of medication to prescribe for me after radiation is finished. Well, I did blood work at my gyn office and received a call from her nurse yesterday saying that my blood work indicated that I was post menopausal! Now, I had been taking the mini-pill for the past probably 5 years at least (I am 51 years old) but stopped taking it Nov 3. I never did stop having periods, so we don't know how long I have been menopausal. I have had a light one and then a heavy one but have not had one this month. My gyn now wants to do a biopsy on my uterus to make sure that nothing is going on there. She said this was needed especially since I turned up with breast cancer I am at higher risk for other gynecologic cancers.
My biopsy is scheduled for February (I told the nurse that I wanted to finish my rads with breast first plus I have several other medical appointments throughout the month of January so that is reason for delay). I do wonder if all of this is connected especially since my BC is ER+/PR+.
Celand
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Mustlovepoodles,
I hear you! It is enough to make you want to burn your house down! But I think the possibility of having to were an orange or pinstripe jumpsuit would not appeal to me either! Hope that you and hubby can find a solution soon! Celand
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Hospital bill update-- I got another bill today $424 but it doesn't say what that was for or the date of service, so I called the hospital. When I told the lady what I had called about she said oh you have a zero balance. I said "I've been going around and around with this Hospital since August and the last time I heard I owed over $93,000." And she said, "It appears to have been discharged." I couldn't lay my hands on my documents at the time and due to the lateness of the day I told her I would call back in the morning. So now I have my documents at the ready and I am anxious to hear if what she says is true. If it is, I plan to have her send me documentation. It's hard for me to believe anything this Hospital group says.
Do you know what really chaps me? This hospital has been hounding me since August about these bills. They fully expected me to pay this $93,000 . I sent all my documentation up the chain to the Georgia insurance commissioner for appeal last week and now the bills have disappeared? What happens to people who don't know they can appeal this?
Stay tuned, folks...
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Celand, you were taking birth control pills up until November?
Poodles, Orange is definitely not your color. Lots of choice what to do post-sale of the house. I'd love to have you in Washington. My neighbors really loved living in Poulsbo. Would you want to be that far from Christian? Hard things to decide, aren't they? Hope DS moves out quickly for your peace of mind if nothing else.
I'm with you. I wouldn't trust a thing the hospital says without it being in writing. I can't imagine that the insurance commissioner has contacted the hospital already but maybe your threat was enough to make everyone clean up their acts (oh yah, right). And a bill for "nothing"?? Sure, you'll whip out the checkbook and pay that one. Good luck!
I had a wonderful time with my San Diego DS and DIL. They got a big dose of winter - loads of snow and cold. I'm sure they were very happy to get back to warm weather. Christmas was so very special with the five of us all together for the first time in 21 years for the holiday. Only downer is my Spokane DIL's father went into the hospital 10 days ago and going into hospice.
Left to Right: Me in green, San Diego son, San Diego DIL, Santa, Spokane DIL, Spokane Son. Santa is my good friend across the street. Two minutes after the photo was taken he was stripping off his Santa suit! He was ready to take off his pants and his wife reminded him he wasn't wearing pants underneath the costume
Happy New Year!
HUGS!
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Pontiac Peggy,
Yes, I was taking the mini-pill, progesterone only pill, prior to that I was always on a combination pill. I stopped taking them November 3.
Hindsight is always better than foresight, but I also wonder if birth control pill messed me up. The gyn told me that your chance of BC increases slightly when you take them but ovarian cancer risk is decreased.
Celand
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Celand, I don't recall seeing a discussion of birth control pills causing BC. Of course, I don't know either way. I was off them before I was 40 when DH got a vasectomy. But I did take HRTs for a couple years because my doctor thought they were a good idea, not that I wanted or needed them for my menopausal symptoms (which were negligible). It's hard to say if any one thing causes BC from what I have read. Again, I don't *know.*
HUGS!
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HIP HIP HOORAY Dara!!
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