Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Vargadoll....hugs and prayers as you get through this ...and you will get through this. I hated telling people. I couldn't get the words out without tears. Now I just blurt it out....maybe I'm looking for an excuse for feeling & looking like crap ...I don't know you got this
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Thanks Caligirl55, I'm not telling to many people that it's cancer. Just a cyst that has to go! I had a fibroid/cyst removed in 2006 so I pretty sure I can pull that off
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Update--I came back home yesterday. Mother's health seems to have stabilized for now. She was angry with me again on Tues because she thought I had "put her in a home" against her will. She did not remember consenting to go to rehab nor my sister driving her over there. Yesterday she was great, until she saw me talking with the social worker. Then she was all mad again. However, by the time I left she was all lovey again. Today she is mad at everyone. I pray that she doesn't check herself out and go home because there is no way she can take care of herself. And when she finds out that we looked at her bills (and my sister paid them out of her own bank account), she is going to launch into outer space. My sister will just have to tell her that she was in danger of losing her apt, having her phone and internet cut off, and having her house go to the courthouse steps for unpaid taxes. I mean, what were we supposed to do, let her be put out onto the streets.
This is exhausting. I am so glad to be home and OUT of that mess (for now) you don't even know. I brought a few things home with me that I am going to overnight back to my sister and HOPE that Mother never finds out they're missing. (I should have known better.)
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Poodles, I thought that you had essentially declared your mother incompetent so you could decide her care. I guess not if there's the possibility she can check herself out of rehab. You have to be at your wits' end. I can't imagine how awful it is for you. Just keep the stuff you brought home. Don't send it back unless your mother might actually need it. Let your sisters cope with her for awhile. Perhaps it is easier for your mother to make you out to be the bad daughter than to accept that she can't manage her life. Many hugs to you and hope you can de-stress.
HUGS!
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Hi Vargadoll: i am just like you, I haven't told anyone except my children and husband. I did tell my bosses which was good because they gave me flex time so that i would not have to use my sick leave while i am on rads. I am a really private person and this board has allowed me to touch base with many great people. I will probably share my diagnosis openly after rads are done. What has not helped is the femara. I just started and have become very emotional. I start tearing up at the drop of a pin, i was never like this. Hang in there my friend
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Poodles, hugs. Not that it makes it any easier, but I've been in your spot, just last year. My mom checked herself out of the hospital, drove her car home, went on a curb, and popped two tires. With my husbands mother, we were able to arrange home care, but my mom was suspicious and could be mean to everyone so it would have never worked. Hoping you and your sisters can get her settled, and she stays.
Will be thinking about you.
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Poodles, I just can't imagine. I am glad there are 4 of you!
This is good news Vaccine Trial for Early Her2 positive BC
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Thank you Miko! I am very private person to. It just makes life easier for me. I get so annoyed at what my daughter posts on FB. I haven't told her! I know this new generation are social networks post it all people but I'm not.
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Italychick, I know what you mean. My mother isn't going to let ANY home health agency in. She doesn't even allow her friends to visit (she's a bit of a hoarder, so her apt is a big mess.) I just overnighted everything I brought home to my sister, who is staying in the apt. I should never have taken those things; they're not mine. At this point, mother is so suspicious of everyone I just don't want to set her off more than we have to. We have scuttled guardianship for now. I've advised my sisters to NOT access her bank accounts at this time. I feel sorry for my sisters who are down there. They're the ones who are going to have to talk to her about her finances and she's not going to take it well.
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Well, I'm kinda glad that I cancelled my DIEP in Feb. Found out today that I only have 19 hours vacation time and zero sick leave! I thought I had at least 76 hours! Guess my surgery will have to wait another year. Which sucks, because I really wanted to get this done this year so I can have a knee replacement next year. Looks like breast cancer is going to drag on forever.
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(((Poodles))). Glad you made it home and your sister was able to pay the bills, but bummer that your mom still has the power to sabotage her own medical care & well-being. And it really sucks that you have to delay the DIEP, and likely the TKR (it’s gonna take more than 19 hrs. just for the immediate post-op hospital stay). Have you looked into an unloader brace? When cortisone and Suppartz shots didn’t work, the brace bought me almost an extra year before surgery, and insurance paid 100% for it.
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I do have a brace that my ortho gave me (don't know what it's called, but it's titanium reinforced.) I hate that thing. No matter how tight I make it, it slides down and rests on my knee cap. Very painful!
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Poodles, you just can't catch a break. Damn. I hate that you have to put off your DIEP surgery. And then your knee. I've run out of acceptable words I'm sure you have, too.
HUGS!
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Vargadoll, hang in there. I'm usually a private person too. But when I was diagnosed with BC, once over shock, and certainly not Facebook, I shared with close friends and family, a few co-workers that I'm close with and my boss plus I found this wonderful lumpy group I found that this helped me to not feel so alone during this seemingly long journey. Sending you positive vibes.
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Vargadoll, I managed to keep my breast cancer off Facebook for a whole year, until my 82yo mother blew my cover. I told my children, my siblings, and my Sunday School class. My DH, children, and SS class were amazingly supportive; my mother and siblings, not so much. I think they were just afraid and didn't know what to say. So, I keep a lot of stuff to myself.
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Dear e12345e: I think that you need to have another surgery to try to have clear margins. You may want to go for a second opinion so that you won't worry about your baby. Good luck. I am sending hugs to you and your baby.Dear Poodles: Good luck and feel well.
Dear Vargadoll: Good luck.
Hugs and prayers to everyone else.
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Vargadoll - I too had a hard time with "the conversation" that couldn't be avoided. I chose to only tell those managers who needed to know why I was missing so much work. I talked with each one individually to allow them to react as individuals, rather than with "group think". As expected, all reactions were a bit different. Those who knew me well had teary eyed reactions. The others used the typical clichés and it was a quick conversation. The first one was hard, but they got easier with each conversation. I asked all of them to keep the information to themselves as I did not want to share it with the whole team at this time.
I had practiced what I was going to say ahead of time. Something like, "You need to know why I have so much time off lately. I have been diagnosed with BC and I have had a lot of appointments. I expect to have many more appointments in the future. Regarding Project X: Jane has bandwidth and she can support things in my absence. Regarding Project Y: the project is almost done, so the impact will be minimal. Regarding Project Z: ...... etc...."
I was able to avoid crying because I IMMEDIATELY focused on the impact to the project rather than the BC. My co-workers let me finish before they jumped back to the emotional stuff. I was able to keep that at bay by thanking them for their thoughts and wishes. Then I switch back to the project schedules by taking about the timeline for chemo and my expectations that I would be able to work near-full time throughout.
You can do this. Have a plan of attack and some prepared responses.
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Midwest...that's a great game plan. My work all knows since I was put on medical leave right away because chemo and elementary health office work do not go well together.
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e12345e, as Elizabeth stated, our chemo group had a pregnant woman whom we watched and supported all the way through chemo. Even if you don't go that route, it might be good for you to contact her through private message. She just posted the picture of her beautiful little girl who was born about a month ago. Her screen name is AnnieTater. BC is hard enough but you need some specific support being pregnant. You can search for members and then just see if Annie can be of any support. Hugs and we're here for you also.
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e12345e-while I'm not pregnant, someone recently shared this wonderful little video with me...that may (or may not) prove helpful: While I haven't been posting lately ...I've been following along with everyone, and wish you all the best. Xox
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12345e, both my MO and also the expert second opinion I had both agreed that chemo would still be effective six months after my surgery. Of course, I had clean margins, so that would make a difference. I think you should insist on a second surgery to get clean margins. Maybe you need a second opinion from a different surgeon! Most feel they can get clean margins by one of a few different techniques. Maybe she will have to just remove more than she usually would! Very important to have clean margins, IMO.
Vargadoll, telling people it is a cyst is a good plan. Stick to it. I never told anyone at work.
Poodles, sorry for your ongoing stress
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Thanks Moondust! I need all the support I can get!
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Ladies (Sandy, Pontiac, Caligirl, Tbalding, and 614) I'm so grateful for your answers to my question.
I'll definitely talk to my surgeon about an re-excision and glad to hear MRI is not necessary to get clean margins. Is it done under general anesthesia or local? My oncologist actually just wrote me back (since I couldn't meet with her the same time as my surgeon), she said that not having clean margins does not mean I have to start chemo right of way. Especially given the fact my nodes are negative. Hopefully, the plan is re-excision, wait to deliver the baby and then chemo.
I have heard from many women that AC does not hurt the baby while being pregnant, however, as a first-time mother, if there's a chance I can postpone it, I sure want to fight it.
Thank you everyone. I am so appreciative of you sharing your thoughts and experience. I hope to hear some good news next week when I meet with my docs again. I'll also be seeking a second opinion the following day so a lot more to uncover.
Wish everyone here the very best, E
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kdtheatre, thank you for sharing the video. It's so inspirational!
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Moondust, yes, I would feel a lot more comfortable going to the re-excision. Glad to hear your doc agrees that chemo would still be effective 6 months post surgery. It gives me hope! Thank you!
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Dara, thanks so much for your support. I'll reach out to Annie!
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e12345e, hugs to you. My mommy heart hurts for you. You and your little one are in my prayers.
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Mustlovepoodles,
After receiving a call from hospital collection department that I owed a balance and having paid it, last week I receive a check from same hospital for overpayment on account! Now, I received a bill from medical oncologists office for a couple of visits that they say my insurance didn't cover, well, I contacted my insurance and they claimed that doctor's office never filed these for payment for these visits! And the doctor's office sure charges me my $50 co-pay every time I go to an appointment! Guess I will talk to office manager at my appointment in the next couple of weeks. As I have stated before, medical billing is so screwed up!
Celand
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Hi all,
I have not been on for a couple of weeks as I have been going through my daily whole breast radiation. I have been working as well, so I go at the end of each afternoon and take off the rest of the afternoon - works out well for me as I don't have to fight 5 o'clock traffic feeling fatigued and I like getting off early. Also, continuing to work throughout my treatments keeps me busy and my mind off of things.
Well, I am down to end almost - I have four more appointments consisting of "the boost". Hopefully, I will make it to the end - as my underarm area is pretty raw but radiation oncologist and rad techs say that my skin is holding up pretty good - I told them at last session that I could not take any more radiation to that area and they informed me that they were starting my boost sessions that day. They gave me samples of a product called "Radiaguard" that has lidocaine in it and it has worked pretty good at relieving the pain. Bought a tube of it from the only pharmacy in town that sells it - expensive at $31 each but it works, so I bought it. Hopefully, it will help my skin to heal.
Also, had a bone density test last week, don't know the results from that. My menopausal status testing from my gyn;s office indicated that I am post-menopausal, so I suppose that the medical oncologist will start me on an aromatase inhibitor medication in a couple of weeks.
Hope that I don't have too many unpleasant side effects from that medication but will have to see. Have any of you had many adverse side effects from AI medications?
Also hope that all is good (as can be) with each of you - I am so glad to have become a member of this site - all of you have been so helpful to me thank you so much- I will try to be helpful to others as well as my BC journey continues to unfold.
Celand
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Hi Celand. Looks Like you and I have very simular dx.Had you used any product before you started having a skin reaction to help prevent a reaction? I have had 13 of my 33 radiation treatments and so far have just had soreness when moving if not wearing a bra and just in the last few days I have a few small bumps under my arm near the lymph node incision. The whole breast is very tender, that may still be some from the surgery. The only thing I have used is pure aloe without alcohol. I was given samples of Aquaphor but with a tender breast it is very hard to apply. Any suggestions?
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