Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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((((Poodles))))
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Thank you all for your gracious support. I have my 3 sisters here with me; unfortunately, Mother now disowned one of the sisters, plus me, and has thrown another one out. She is happy with the only sister that's left--so far, that is. This morning her doctor explained her condition to her, told her that she is dying, and recommended palliative care/hospice. At the time she was all for it. This afternoon she is angry with all of us and thinks we are ganging up on her. At this point we are leaving her to her own devices--she's great with the nursing staff and tehy understand what's going on. They're been wonderful to her, and to us. Mother thinks she is only there because she fell, which she did 12 days ago. She insists that she wants to go home. We're trying to get the doctors in there to tell her that she can't go home, she has to go to "rehab" first. Thank God she has long-term care insurance!
This will not last long once they withdraw the antibiotics, heart meds, BP meds, and diabetes med. Her legs are huge with fluid and it's starting to seep through her pores. Her lungs are filling with fluid. She's still able to walk, although she is unsteady; she keeps getting out of bed. From time to time she is perfectly lucid and uncooperative.
We are calling her attorney today to get full guardianship, although we may shortly be a moot decision. I have cancelled everything and am staying until the finish. DH is here and my kids are on the way.
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((Hugs)) to you Poodles. You and your family are going through what none of us want to do. So glad you have your family, though in the deep dark of the night, that probably doesn't make it any easier. Take care.
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Poodles, damn. What's there to say? I am sorry and I wish I could be there to comfort you and the family. But that is so inadequate. Waiting is terrible. The decline is stunning in its swiftness. You are doing everything you can. I'm glad that DH and the kids are coming. You need their support. Keep the appointment with the attorney. It will give you some peace of mind. We all have to take this walk and it is shitty. You are doing everything you can. In her heart, your mother knows that. She is in denial, as she has been for quite sometime. You're in my thoughts and prayers, Dear Friend.
HUGS!
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Poodles, I am so sorry about what you are going through with your mom; but from what you describe the end is probably near. End-stage kidney failure usually has a few final days of unconsciousness, so perhaps her suffering would end before her existence does. You will need that attorney for probating her estate even if the boat has sailed on guardianship. Know that deep down in the part of her brain she can no longer fully access, she still loves you. Fear can make even a sane person lash out, never mind dementia.
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I am weeping for you, Poodles.
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Thank you all. My sister and I are emotionally in the rocks. We both have bipolar and anxiety; we shared an Ativan about an hour ago, so I'm feeling less agitated and sad. I'm going to take my meds in a bit and go to bed with my book. As Scarlett O'Hara would say, "Tomorrow IS another day."
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I hope you get some sleep, Poodles. Snuggle in my virtual arms. I'll hold you close.
HUGS!
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((((Poodles)))) I am so sorry. Thinking of you tonight. Hope you get some sleep.
Octogirl
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Poodles...we are here for you and will BE here. Sleep well and keep us posted.
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Poodles, this would be enough to send entirely stable children wittering off into the darkness. Never mind if there's any pre-existing anxiety or depressive issues! Another 'vote' for "This is not your mother speaking. It is her organic illness."--my husband and I both hope that you (sisters and other surviving family members, and the medical personnel) can work together to give your mother the care and stability she needs.
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Poodles... (((Hugs)))
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good morning ladies! since you've all had lumpectomies, did anyone receive brachytherapy over whole breast radiation? I'm a candidate for brachytherapy by every account except age (I'm 43 so considered young when it comes to BC 😁) The radiation onc I met with and my BS seem to be steering me towards brachytherapy. I attempted to do my own research yesterday and ended up confused and overwhelmed so thought I'd check here. Did anyone have the choice between both and can you share why you chose your type of radiation over the other? Ive asked on a few boards and so far haven't had much luck. I'd be be grateful for any hep/advice!
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Fightingirl...I was never offered brachytherapy ... I am not sure what it is but will have to check out. Good luck on you decision.
Poodles .... Prayers and hugs!! So sorry
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Fight, I was 41 and oncologist told me that they didn't have enough info on people so young as me about the brachytherapy. I ended up with whole breast radiation
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Hi poodles, sorry to read about your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your famly.
Hi fight: sorry i was not offered brachytherapy only whole brest which i am having right now. My uncle had brachytherapy for his prostate cancer. This was years ago and he is cancer free. Good luck with your decision
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Italy, I'm so sorry also for the loss of your mother. It's just so hard to be the child who must assume the role of a parent. We all get to the point where we want to still be independent or not make certain choices, but it's up to our family members to know when to step in and make the choices for us. I know even when I was in chemo and really sick I didn't want anyone to call 911. My son finally stepped in and said he was making the decision for me and called for an ambulance. Your mom knew what you did for her, and I'm sure totally appreciated all you did for her, including reviewing the tests.
Fight, I, too, was not offered the choice of brachytherapy; then again, I also wasn't given the choice of dose dense radiation either. I'm with the City of Hope but they still seem a little more traditional in approaches.
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Thanks Dara. I'm still beating myself up thinking if I had stepped in earlier and made her stay in rehab, or gotten her to assisted living, that she might still be here. I think the regret part is going to take a long time to go away. I still have the urge to call her on my way home from work just to talk.
Poodles, big hugs to you, hope things are going as best they can.
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I asked about both IORT and brachytherapy. My BS said that my hospital & breast center didn’t have the equipment to do IORT, that I would have had to be on the table twice as long, and she wasn’t sure about its effectiveness. As to brachytherapy, she said she’s also not a fan—too many reports of infections and damage exceeding that of external radiation. Yes, it’s short (5 days of 2x/daily treatments); but each session lasts longer than external and you have to either commute up & back twice or hang around the hospital all day (the interval between treatments is precise). And it’s a separate surgical procedure to implant the catheters, which you have sticking out of you from implantation till removal after the last session. There’s one person in CO who reports being offered 5 days of twice-daily external whole-breast, but I’d never encountered that option before. Same advantages & disadvantages of brachy, except no infection but whole-breast exposure.
I would imagine if you’re a candidate for brachy, you might also be a candidate for the protocol I had: 16 targeted external hypofractionated (extra-strength) sessions. But at my hospital, they only offer it for Stage IA Luminal A patients over age 60.
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DH is here and the kids are on the way. They all decided to come support me. Thats the sweetest, kindest, most generous thing anyone has ever done for me.
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Poodles, I am very happy and relieved for you. You need your family supporting you right now. More virtual hugs and loads of love and positive vibes.
HUGS!
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thank you ChiSandy! I have my first appt with oncologist next week as I'm still not sure if chemo will be recommended for me. The brachytherapy has to be done within 6 weeks of lumpectomy so I hope he'll weigh in on how to go about this. The one saving grace if I do end up going with the brachytherapy is that my Rad onc is Dr Kuske who pioneered the brachytherapy treatment and taught it to doctors all over. He is also the only doc in the world who does them on implant patients and I have those! That make sure me feel a little better but I still want to do my research as well as see what others have to say. How did you fare with whole breast rads? Any side effects
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I had a lumpectomy on December 8, 2016. Just found out I have to have chemotherapy, radiation, Tamoxifen. Huge shock to hear "chemotherapy" but I'm dealing with it the best I can. I met someone today that went through the same type of breast cancer and is 2 years out from treatment. She was wonderful and gave me such hope and positive energy. I hope that one day I can help someone just like me!
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Welcome TeamCookie! Sorry about needing chemo but how wonderful to find a person in person who can encourage you. Poodles, I am moved to tears over your family support. Sending my love and prayers.
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TeamCookie, Welcome. Sorry about the need for chemo. That's always a shock. My daughter-in-law had colon cancer 4 years ago and had chemo. She was so positive about it. Every session she said she told those drugs to KILL CANCER. She said it wasn't fun but it was doable. Keeping the goal in mind helps. I'm so glad you met someone who had walked the path you will be taking. It's nice to know you can go through all these treatments and survive and do well. Let us know what we can do to support you.
HUGS!
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Welcome, TeamCookie! We know the word "chemotherapy" can be quite a shock, but you'll find that many of our members here have managed their treatment quite well. We suggest heading over to our chemo forum and reading through some of the posts: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/69.
Best of luck to you, looking forward to seeing you on the boards!
The Mods
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Fighting-the 6 weeks post surgery explains why brachytherapy wasn't offered to many. If you have chemo and rads after it is just not an option. It was about 4 weeks post surgery before I knew about chemo and a few more weeks to begin. Having "the" RO guy to do it would be a vote of confidence though.
Cookie- the "I recommend chemo" is the worst doctor visit ever, I think even worse than "there are cancer cells present." I'm pretty sure I got hit by the proverbial bus....and was dragged ..a few (thousand) miles. It's not easy but it can be done and it does end. I finished a few days before Christmas. I'm still waiting for the SE to go away but it's getting better. And I start radiation this week. Not looking forward to it but it can't finish unless I start. I do recommend getting on a chemo board, there seems to be one for every month start. It seriously kept me prepared and sane...and not alone on this journey.
Prayers and peace for all dealing with losing and loss of loved ones. And stay safe for all those in the storms this weekend.
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Poodles, so glad you have your family with you. Hugs and prayers!
Fightingirl, I had 16 whole breast & 5 boosts. My skin held up well through rads even though I'm very fair skinned. I'm small, b cup, so not as much skin on skin contact which helped too. Only se I had was itching, nipple tenderness and fatigue. The fatigue lingered a few months after I finished rads.
TeamCookie, welcome! It's hard to take all of it in. It's great that you've met someone who can help you navigate through all it. Sorry that it has to include chemo, those who have went through it will tell you it's doable. We do everything we can to make sure it doesn't come back. As suggested, you'll get lots of information on the monthly chemo boards and when it's time for radiation, there are boards for it too. Otherwise, hang out with us here. There's usually someone that has gone through what you have. Sending you positive vibes.
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Fightingirl - I talked to my RO about brachytherapy and was hoping to go that route. The unfortunate part is your medical team does't always know 100% if you're a candidate until after the LX and they have the final biopsy reports from the tumor. My Savi spacer was implanted as part of my LX by the surgeon. After the final biopsy report came back, there ended up to be two reasons why I could not have brachytherapy (1) I had lymphovascular invasion present and (2), I ended up without enough clearance from the location of the tumor and my skin surface from the spacer device. They needed at lease 5 mm clearance from my skin surface and I had less than that amount. So, three days after the LX, the RO removed the spacer device. Had I been a candidate the RO would have swapped the spacer device with the actual SAVI® BRACHY which would be used to deliver the radiation to the tumor site. My medical team uses Cianna Medical's Savi device's for brachytheraphy. Here is the website if you want more information. http://www.ciannamedical.com/
So, needless to say I was disappointed when I found out post surgery I was going to have to have standard whole breast radiation (plus chemo) versus brachytherapy. Good luck to you your treatment decision and your treatment.
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Teamcookie, you know we have your back. Several of us here have had chemo, including me. Not the most fun time of my life, but necessary. My mantra became "this too shall pass" and it did.
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