Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!
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Hi Everyone.. haven't been on for a while, I did finally have my mammo and ultrasound and they said they were clear.. My BS said my mastitis was now a chronic infection and she'll see me next year for another mammo... I see my MO day after tomorrow and hopefully she will tell me the infection is clear too and that the cancer is still gone...
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Just before going to change into my gym clothes for a noon workout, my lower back muscles (probably glutes) spasmed up on me. Had to cancel the workout, start using heat (my trainer says not ice), take a couple of Aleve & a Baclofen. Am stiff as a board and I can actually feel the tender spot & knot. All I can do is pace around the house to keep it from getting even worse (or keep it worsening more slowly). I just had x-rays in June so I know there are no fractures or mets. Doc just took me off my PPI so I can absorb my iron—which means along with the Aleve I had to take for the back pain (which I can't take at bedtime) I will have massive GERD tonight (he says switch to Zantac, but I dunno if that'll work).
Here's the kicker, though: Bob has a cardiology review course at a posh downtown hotel tomorrow through Friday, and he wants me to join him there, checking in tonight. Even before my back went out, I had no idea what I would do all day—drive home and then come back? Not gonna shop or go out to eat, not gonna get spa treatments—all too expensive. Tomorrow I have a voice lesson via Skype, and Thurs. both a service call for my fridge (they're supposed to call here first) and another workout (assuming my back is better, which is doubtful, since these things usually take at least 2 weeks to heal for me). And what am I supposed to do with a bad back in a hotel room??? I am in no shape to pack, either. My housekeeper is supposed to be back tomorrow, but I doubt it—she's always a day late coming back from vacations, especially ones involving long drives.
Wish I could drink. Bob wants to eat at the Palm (the restaurant in the hotel) tonight after checking in, but I hurt too much to even get dressed, much less drive. (Original plan was for me to drive so we'd have only one car there—and he'd go back to work Fri. aft.). Besides, he brought home leftover rigatoni alla Barese on Sat. night (of which I ate only half) and deep dish pizza (which I don't really like) last night. Gordy won't be home till late tonight. And I have to bend over to feed the cats. Owwww…..
About the anemia—I switched from ferrous gluconate to the pricier Feosol Complete because half its iron is “heme" and I don't have to take it on an empty stomach (more heartburn!). The gluconate required me to have to take it with Vit. C (I don't drink orange juice) and wait an hr. before eating, taking my calcium, or even drinking black coffee (all of which inhibit iron absorption); and if I were to take another (which I was supposed to work up to), make sure I hadn't eaten anything over the past 2 hrs. and then wait another hour before eating anything again. What a colossal PITA! But PPIs (like the Dexilant I'm on) also inhibit absorption because stomach acid is necessary for that (also for absorbing cheaper forms of calcium). My PCP was hesitant to have me stop, but the EGD test showed only the hiatal hernia, and no esophageal or gastric irritations, so I will be weaning off the Zantac too if my heartburn doesn't recur.
Everything I have to take for one thing makes another thing worse, and both vice versa and so on ad infinitum. Acid foods help absorb the iron. But they give me reflux. PPIs & calcium help the reflux. But they, and coffee & tea, inhibit absorption of iron. No caffeine? Hello, headaches and asthma. Take an NSAID for the headache? Reflux. Take a nasal steroid to “ease the sneeze to ease the wheeze?" Can't absorb the calcium for bone health. Take a prednisone if my back won't get better, I get laryngitis that won't resolve in time to sing, or my asthma is stronger than my inhalers or nebulizer? Calcium will leach out of my bones. Ditto if I keep up my blood pressure med, which has a mild diuretic built in.
I can't fix one thing without breaking something else, which I can't fix without breaking another or making the first thing worse. And we're not dealing with anything life-threatening yet. Isn't getting older fun? (But it beats not being able to get old).
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Bless Bob—he's bringing home ribs instead. We'll see how I feel in the morning as to whether I will stay over at the hotel tomorrow night—he decided not to check in tonight, in order to save the cost of a night (the place is not cheap—one night there costs more than our entire Hilton bill in Boston last month). He will cab down tomorrow morning & check in before the first class session.
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Sandy, what a bummer. And Bob IS a dear. I hope your back resolves itself sooner than later. Nothing like going to a hotel that costs an arm and a leg (or 2) - UGH. Glad you aren't here - our air quality is horrid. Rated as VERY UNHEALTHY from all the smoke from fires here in Washington, Idaho, Montana, Oregon and BC. The stench is unbelievable. Some places here even had ash falling. I don't know if I have any or not - not going outside.
Take care!!
HUGS!
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Peggy, how upside down is that: the PNW, ID, & MT dry and burning up! I left WA a couple of yrs. before St. Helens blew—took less than three days for the ash to reach us here in the Great Lakes. At least if you have ash on your car from this it's wood ash. The volcanic ash, according to a pal outside Yakima (who actually sent me a little vial of it) was like concrete dust, and set up like cement if you tried to wash it off.
And speaking of that volcanic ash—a couple of months later I had just treated myself to a new Coach purse & briefcase (I was an IL Asst. A.G. back then). I was on my way from the Loop to Oak Park for a voice lesson, and had grown weary of the traffic jams on the Eisenhower X-way (I-90, “the Ike"). When I told friends that I had started just taking Lake St. all the way there, they were horrified—convinced I would be robbed at gunpoint or worse. “Take Washington Blvd. instead," they counseled, “at least it's out in the open, not under the tracks." So I did, for months, uneventfully. Then that fateful day I was stopped at a traffic light at Damen Ave (the first time I ever missed that light). Suddenly I heard a thud & a crash, the sound of shattering glass. I thought a tree limb had fallen on my little Datsun, until out of the corner of my eye I saw a chunk of concrete on the passenger seat and two skinny arms reaching through the broken window and grabbing my purse & briefcase off the floor before running away (the younger one couldn't have been more than 8 or 9). I screamed and leaned on my horn, because I had traffic stopped all around me and the light was still red. Passerby looked at me derisively, as if to say, “lady, what did you expect driving through this neighborhood?" (In rush hour. In broad daylight). Only then did I see the housing project on the corner—having always breezed through that light before I'd never noticed it. Fortunately, my house keys were on the same ring as my car keys, so the fact they had my address wasn't as bad as it could have been. When the light changed I drove to the W. Side VA Hosp., where Bob was a resident on call that night.
Called the police, who took the report, cleared the broken glass off the upholstery (and I was still picking some out of my blouse), and went with Bob to dumpster-dive behind the housing project. “They always take the money, credit cards & checkbook, and any drugs," said the cop, “they'll toss the purse & briefcase." But since both were new and fence-able, they didn't discard them. The cop said “Have to ask you—did you have any medications in there?" And then I smiled. Because along with my wallet & briefcase, I had my little vial of Mt. St. Helens ash…and it was a whitish powder inside a tiny amber glass screw-top vial…and you know what that looked like (don't ask me how I knew that). And because of what it looked like, chances are someone had tried to snort it. And being volcanic ash, when it touched moisture it turned into wet cement, Over the next 24 hrs., we called ERs all over the W. Side, hoping they'd had some stupid gangbanger show up to treat an extremely clogged nostril...
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Sandy, that tale is priceless!! Love it. But I'm sure it was much more traumatic then. I'm glad there's someone else who doesn't pick up landmarks on their drive. Chuck always knew if a blade of grass grew 1/16". I was surprised there was even grass
But you're right. Wood Ash isn't a problem, just an annoyance. Hadn't thought about volcanic Ash being such an issue. Wow!
HUGS!
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The irony is that now, that neighborhood has become gentrified out the wazoo—it’s near both the United Center and Restaurant Row. In fact, the intersection where that smash & grab happened is a block from the United Center, and where the project used to stand is premium parking for the arena.
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what a funny and horrifying assortment of stories today!
Sandy, I understand the theory about fixing one thing leads to three.
I say we are like wonderful old houses. Just don't go fiddling with the plumbing and electric. Many of us are still running on knob and tube. Best not to open up any walls. Youl have an entirely new project on your hands.
But I still love old houses! Just like us, they have so much character!
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PontiacPeggy. Thank you!
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PauletteK, I am literally beating myself up for not insisting that the 1st radiology Dr. biopsy it. Was my 1st time there as my small medical center didn't do biopsies anymore yet I know they would NOT have dismissed it the way he did. I remember like yesterday, even the tech asking him, "Aren't you going to check the 2nd one listed?", to which he replied, "Eh, it's only a cyst!" I then also think of the other hospitals and tests who could've picked up on this but they didn't. It took surgery, chemo, rads and my check up thinking I was done to find this. I knew when a Dr. came running in the room during the sono asking what that tiny spot was and I told him another Dr. didn't check it, saying it was a cyst to which he shook his head saying it didn't look like it. I knew in my gut without the biopsy that it was going to be bad news, though I hung onto maybe that 1st Dr. was experienced and right.
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MF - what a nightmare you got there, all I can say hugs and prayers for you.
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ChiSandy, Thanks! I'll assume you play too?! I played all through chemo last year with our band, even performed in front of big crowds with my wig and bandana. I'm very upset though now, not having played in months with a big event coming up in a few weeks which we bowed out of for the 1st time in many years. I want to play to keep some normalcy in my life but the band has not gotten together since this "bad mistake" or better yet, negligence which has me in a bad way though I still wish we were playing this to keep things the same. I am meeting with a new surgeon this Thursday, PRAYING that she has some good answers for me.
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MFPM, I hope your new surgeon has good news for your too. Quit beating yourself up over the missed biopsy. You can't walkback time, so look forward. What's done (or not done) is past and nothing can change it. There are many times in our treatments when we make decisions and sometimes they are not the ones the work but we make them, live with them, and never look back because that truly would be a short walk to insanity. Unless you are planning on suing, go forward and do what is necessary to deal with what is now. Hard? Yes. Impossible? Well, not exactly but geez.... You'll make it through!!
HUGS!
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Robin - your post in losing something really struck a cord with me. I consider myself a little c also and have scoffed off the concern from others early on. As others I've a long list of friends and family with greater issues and/or loss.
Immediately after my treatments, that was required I needed to spend time with my dad to help him. A month later he passes but I focus on being there for my brother. I felt good actually as I could feel useful and not think of me. But once I got home, it all hit me. I've felt lost. I function at work, do what is needed at home but when I stopped. . . well? I just stopped. Something missing and totally lost.
Just yesterday I told myself I need to do something for me. Maybe I just need to take my own advice. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. I know I am seeking a new normal. I just don't know what that is yet. So for me. I'm starting my first few bites
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Hello Lounge. Just thought I'd pop in and say hi. This is all happening so fast I think I haven't had time to digest it all yet, since most of the summer has been spent worrying about and helping my father through all his health issues. My lumpectomy and SN surgeries are minor compared to what he's been through.
But then again, I now have cancer. Will be heading off to another state in a week for brachytherapy, then back to meet with a MO to see what happens next.
Hope to learn from you all as I go along.
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Gardennerd, when you are caregiving it is hard to find the time to let yourself process all you've been through and that you have cancer. But eventually you do and it most often catches you by surprise. You'll do okay!
FridayYet, try to make time for yourself to process all you've been through. It's hard when you are going through the loss of your father and supporting your brother.
Both of you ladies take care
HUGS!
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I've cut way back on gigging--not just because of my situation (I actually played out in Rockford, 90 miles away, 2 weeks post-op and did a folk conference and concert in Iowa City, 4+ hrs each way, a month later, 2 weeks after my seroma exploded); but because my singing partner up in Madison, WI had to take a day job and play a raft of senior centers because his wife's disability wasn't enough to keep them afloat. We played a couple of farmers' markets in Milwaukee and a festival way up in Hayward (near Duluth) in June. I haven't done a whole lot of solo gigs since hooking up with duos starting back in '04, and am trying not to get rusty. Have to toughen up those calluses again.
Got a folk festival to play in the northern 'burbs Oct. 1 (the one I was to play last weekend got flooded out), the folk conference in Iowa City in mid-Oct., and then I'm in the Bar Assn. annual Dec. musical (every year since 2002, except 2015 when I was going through rads). I'm a singer-songwriter in the "original classic folk" style, though I do play covers. I play acoustic guitar, mountain dulcimer, bass guitar (mostly electric but sometimes acoustic) and harmonica. I've also played rhythm guitar in my temple's klezmer/rock band. (I don't have a Strat, but I do have a vintage Mustang--but the previous owner removed the whammy bar and the bridge no longer flexes). I have a bunch of different acoustics but I find myself always gigging with my first good one, a 1980 Martin M-36 (designed by Tom Paxton & Steve Goodman). 37 years of coffee, beer, and smoke have permeated that rosewood & spruce and given it character. Last year I played a benefit in Hickory, NC set up by our own HappyHammer after a folk conference outside Asheville. I'm getting a bit long in the tooth now for those multi-day all-day drives, so I begged off that conference this year after a little dizzy-spell scare (which turned out to be nothing).
BTW, my husband grew up in Bellerose, on the Queens side of the line. I'm from Brooklyn myself. We met at Brooklyn College (he was in the Scholars' Program, which Queens didn't offer) when we ran against each other for student gov't and we both won. We got married 3 weeks after graduation and moved to Seattle for his MD/PhD and my JD. We moved here for his residency, and here we stay. (We're "tricoastal"). This past June was 46 yrs.
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Sandy, what a talented person you are! I didn't realize the full extent of your abilities. Wow!!! I can see why it would be difficult to give up playing. Awesome woman!
HUGS!
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PontiacPeggy, Thank you! Reason for me beating myself up is that I should've opened my mouth to that radiology Dr. when giving him TWO orders via a medical center to biopsy TWO and he took it upon himself by his eyesight to say the 2nd was a cyst. How I wish he was right but now I realize how people say we have to advocate for our own health and treatment! This is a nightmare, so tomorrow off I go to a specialty surgeon, hoping she's the best. I left 2 others when hearing that they've "done a few" breast surgeries, not sounding good to me. I surely hope she has the answers for me and that I'm okay after all of this time.
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PauletteK, Thank you! I surely need PRAYERS and appreciate ALL!
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ChiSandy, Wow, very impressive is all I can say and both of you New Yorkers too! Surely know Bellerose, not far and my Cousin's band used to play clubs there regularly, then again Brooklyn's not far either, still having friends there, as well as my family immigrated from there. lol We live in Richmond Hill, previously Kew Gardens and Woodhaven, both surrounding areas.
As for gigging, besides not playing next week's park street fair, just heard another offer next month which doesn't sound likely now either. I didn't know how much it meant to me until now feeling like a kid on the side lines but I know my health comes first!
I started out in the 80's, just my girlfriend with a fabulous voice and myself doing nightclubs, ballads, oldies, rock etc.. 90's, band started, mostly classic rock, husband a crazy drummer and play benefits, restaurants, clubs, taverns etc. in Forest Hills, Kew Gardens, Astoria plus local places. We did 2 cable TV shows in recent years which went over very well which all has surprised me since I used to have terrible stage fright. Now it's more of an adrenaline shake that I get. lol Last I played a bar was in the spring right before this whole thing was found out and prior to that, kept going with a wig plus bandana, forcing myself to keep going. I thought this year, I was all better and psyched, wanting to get out there to rock the neighborhood proudly but.... I never did tell any of my Drs. that I play and they all told me not to work my right arm too much though I don't think that would hurt anything.
So nice chatting with you on here about music but your history is WAY more exciting than mine! lol Sorry that it is under these circumstances but it helps us forget a little bit.
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Since I'm meeting the "new" surgeon tomorrow and am going to write down many questions due to chemo brain/nerves, is there anyone here that has had TWO lumpectomies or know of anyone who did that IS successful?
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Good luck tomorrow, MFPM!!
HUGS!
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In your pocket tomorrow, MFPM!
I'm a much better singer, songwriter, dulcimer player and even bassist than I am a guitarist. I mostly either strum or thumb-and-finger-pick, with riffs being basically chord melodies. I bet you're a much better guitarist than I am--I can't shred (or even do leads on electric) to save my life.
My dad was a NYS labor inspector and Richmond Hill was one of his territories. Ditto Ridgewood, Woodhaven and City Line. My cousins used to live in Kew Gardens Hills. Small world! (I grew up first in Brownsville--not the hip but the hip-hop part of Brooklyn--and then E. Flatbush).
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Good luck MFPM!
🎶🎶🎶🎶 🎊🎊 sing it Chi 🎶🎶🎶
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I'm always amazed at how often we find things in common that are so surprising. Like you, Sandy, and MFPM, same neighborhoods. I have run into people at the Spokane Indians games who lived or have relatives near where I lived in Pontiac, Michigan. We all must be related!!
HUGS!
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ChiSandy, PontiacPeggy & PauletteK, Thank you so much. I'm already getting shaky from going through this for so long, anticipating tomorrow though she's supposed to be very compassionate, though more so, PRAYING she's an excellent surgeon. The thing is, I don't know what's going on, being swollen since the biopsy in July and no other Drs. have given me any answers. The previous "thing" they took out was PR positive, 26 Onco Test, the reason I chose to do rads to PREVENT it, but meanwhile, "it" was left in me! Sorry if I repeat myself and was thinking this summer was going to be happy times, being healthy, getting my hair back, barely recouping from treatment when finding this out. I know, I have to look forward and have a lot of living to do, things to catch up on. I appreciate your concern and support, wishing well for ALL of us!
ChiSandy, This is pretty wild considering! I gave up lead years ago, being very mechanical and others took over, thankfully. I'm certainly not as sharp as I used to be and was more "artsy" in my 20's when I'd sit on the couch playing for hours, going through books 'till I got 'em right. I mostly bang out chords but have been told I don't play heavy enough at times. Oh well, lol.
As for the neighborhoods, another wow. My Parents came from Bushwick and most of my friends were born in Bklyn., some still there. Queens has changed, eh, but I toughed it out so far, though not home I remember growing up in. Most of my family live in Long Island or Florida, yet they aren't around, fell out of sight during my 1st diagnosis which is sad. They know I'd crawl to help them but just looking for company, not having siblings, just Cousins left. Seems some friends did the same but we have to keep going and find a reason. Will check in tomorrow and let you all know how it went. BTW, write to me privately if you want, hoping I get notified in my e-mails but I will check back anyway!0 -
MFPM, you'll hear the phrase "in your pocket" quite a bit around these parts. It means we'll be there with you virtually--whether for surgery, scans, procedures or whatever. So I hope you have some big pockets for tomorrow! Where will you be going? LIJ & N. Shore are pretty good if you want to stay on your side of the river. Not up-to-date about Booth (is it called Queens Medical Ctr. now)?
My family's scattered to the winds. Nobody's left in NYC or LI any more--mom was in FL but passed 11 yrs. ago. Sis & niece are in NoVA. Elder cousins & their kids in SE FL--hope they can still hop in their RV and get outta Dodge. One cousin is in Rochester, NY; another in Monroe (Reform in a sea of Hasidim); another moved to a suburb of Boston; and another is in the hills above Pasadena (but his practice is in Santa Monica). Bob has a second cousin in Bradenton (hope they head NW too) and a first cousin in NM--and that's it. (Our son, who still lives with us, is the only son of an only son of an only son--he's an actor/writer/improv comic/director and occasionally jobbing bassist. Apple doesn't fall far...). My cousins & I fell out of touch (no reason) until I posted a link to my CaringBridge blog page on FB. Now we talk online at least every couple of months or so.
Speaking of CaringBridge, it's a good way to let your friends & family know of your progress without clogging up your FB feed or spilling your "medical dirty laundry" all over social media. A couple of BCO sisters started pages there. In fact, I had my page up well before I discovered BCO. I have my own website (and blog), which I've been horribly remiss in updating and haven't sent out a listserv newsletter in ages--but not enough gigs to publicize, the duo's latest CD needs remastering (re-sequencing, new metadata) before sending it to the graphics guy, and I'm only halfway through my own solo followup. (My first was released in 2001--out of print and I finally have no more copies clogging up my basement. But digital downloads are forever...).
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MFPM: Good luck tomorrow, you are going inmy thoughts.
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ChiSandy, Not only do I need you in my pockets but need you to hold me up! I will think of all of you tomorrow to get me through. I was getting treatment through an onc affiliated with L.I.J./Northshore or Northwell as they call it now, right across the street but didn't feel good about the surgeon not being a specialist. This female Dr. is in the area, mapquested, hoping to find it easy enough and works out of those hospitals, plus St. Francis so I read on her profile. I think Booth is still the same or maybe Presbyterian?, I don't know but they closed so many Queens hospitals. I'm closest to Jamaica but so wish there was help nearby.
I'm going to look you up on FB now and then off to bed. Already I'm counting, 5 hours sleep, ugh!
Shockedat48, Thank you!!!!0
