January 2014 Surgery Sisters
Comments
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Mary - taking a lunch break and wanted to share this with you...check out this gal's "probphylactic Bilateral Mastectomy & Reconstruction Day 1 to 3 Weeks Post-Op Exchange Surgery" I think if you Google that, you will get there (I can't do it on the office PC). She has some crazy looking TE's, but the final implants look great. I think we need to just think of them as place holders.
The choice between saline and silicone is a personal one for sure. Everyone will have to decide what is best for them. I'm going with silicone, mainly because I think they will hold up better for TKD than Saline, and I don't like the idea that the Saline implants could just pop and immediately deflate, so I would need immediate surgery. If the silicone breaks, they find it with periodic MRI's and you schedule replacement without the fire drill, or having to go to work with a uni-foob. I do still have to talk to my PS, but don't expect him to push either way. I was a 34 DD, so will be going smaller, and will have nipple reconstruction and tattoos. I'm single and thought it would be best to try to get as close to "normal" as possible, not that there will be much "normal" anymore.
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Hi Diane,
Thanks for sharing that site. She had a nice result. I suppose if I do a google search for breast reconstruction blogs I can find more. The picture forum on this site is helpful, too.
It's funny, I'm so obsessed with busts right now! What I'm going for is a more natural look and that's what I told my PS in the consult. I didn't really elaborate, but I think a lot depends on your own build and structure. So I just trusted him. So far, so good. I'm taking it slow because I don't want coconut boobs. My dream foobs would look more like Marilyn Monroe and less like Pamela Anderson, lol! When I see Hollywood pinup stars of the 40s, I think, yeah, that's more what I'm going for. So, maybe I'll have to bring in a pic of Marilyn Monroe to my next appt!
I've read Marilyn was a 34D. I was a 38C. I just tried on my old bra and I'm not filling it up at all!! So, I should have gone with the 100 cc's. Oh well, no worries....there's always next time!! I'll just say "fill her up"!!!I mean just LOOK AT HER!! She beats out any Hollywood star today or ever!!
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Hi Mary,
I have 24 yo silicone implants. If that tells you anything. Very durable...lol I've fallen on them a couple of times over the years and they are still hanging in there. Even without the extra tissue on top of them they feel nice and squishy. They are tear drop shaped. I've always liked them. When I had mine done I just told the PS that I wanted to be a perfect 36B and that's what I got.
they were pretty, sigh. I am very happy I was able to keep them, they are not the same but not bad either. The implants feel weird at first but I think for you ladies with TE's it will be a definite improvement .AND after a while they kinda settle in and find a home. You'll just become part of one another.
I always thought Marilyn was so pretty. Rachel Whelch too...she still looks awesome.
ttyl, Eve
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bc101:absolutely love the Marilyn pic. She's wonderful.
Momaton: thanks for sharing about the silicone implants you have. My goal is to have implants that I won't have to replace all of the time. Does anyone know the "life expectancy" of an implant? I won't be having my exchange for a while, maybe not until the fall, but in the meantime I'm trying to get through rads (start in 2weeks ) and figure out my foob choices
Is anyone else still tired? I ended chemo December 12 and surgery on January 29 and I think I'm more tired now vs. in the fall. Trying to get my stamina back ; I return to work on March 5!!!!!
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Girlstrong - I'm in the exact same boat. Last chemo 12/5 and surgery 1/3 and I'm EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is anyone else not having implants? My PS really, really doesn't like them and prefers to work with real tissue. So I'll be getting my foobs from my thighs and butt. LOL
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Eve - that is amazing you've had your implants that long! They must be a good brand. Teardrop shaped is good. I wish I had requested that in the consult, but didn't know anything about reconstruction at the time and didn't have time to research. The new teardrop shaped "gummies" sound like a good option, but I don't think I can do those with round TE's.
Girlstrong - One of the PS's I consulted with said that implants last 50 years. I thought he was kidding, but he must have been serious.
Michelle - I think the flap surgery is the ideal way to go. I originally wanted to go that route, but after the BMX, I told myself I never wanted to go thru another long surgery again. I had such a hard recovery. Plus there is a year long waiting list, so I said forget it. I'll try the implants and if it doesn't work, then I'll always have the other option.
I'm trying to get motivated to clean my house this weekend.
Wish me luck!
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My PS told me implants average 15 years, but can also last 35, so who knows. Let's all hope we get lots of mileage out of them!
I walked into my PS's office for my first visit, highly aware that I was sporting very saggy DD's that might not inspire him to see the Venus I could be, LOL. So...I took in a picture and told him I wanted to return to the size I was before childbirth. This pic was a modeling shot for the lingerie store I worked for when I was in my very early 20's (note the Farah Fawcett hair). He looked at it, and said, okay, a full C it is! I was thankful he didn't remind me that the rest of me would still be 54.
Well, I couldn't get the pic to upload to save my life...Grrr.
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unselectable="on">I don't think the picture is going to stick. I tried.
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Just popping in to say hi to my sisters here. Can't sleep and up early! Going to enjoy our one day of 80 degree weather because tomorrow it will be freezing again. Oncotype came back 12 so no chemo for me. Bracha came back normal as well. Meeting with RO again week after next for CT and marking, then on to rads.
Diane, keep me posted or join the Femara thread if you have not already. I started the drug nearly 2 weeks ago, no SE's yet. I have to take it for 10 years so hoping the SEs are minimal for us both. On Femara my MO told me I have an 8% chance of recurrence over the next 10 years, without Femara it goes up to 16%. Amazes me still the technology that is available for us today. That they can pinpoint percentages like that.
Thinking of you all and always enjoy reading this thread. Have a good weekend everyone.0 -
BigD - great news that you can skip chemo! I'll take a look at the Femara thread. I'm only at day 3, but ok so far. Glad its working for you!
Well, getting ready for class. More later...
Diane
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CONGRATULATIONS Big D!!! That's awesome!!!
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Thank you Diane and bc! Stay warm up there in Minnesota!! Big hugs!!
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yeah bigd....I didn't need chemo either....onco was 8
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yay big D,
thanks goodness for the oncotype...or we all would be getting chemo...the oncotype costs $4100, a lot of money but way less than chemo.
I think scientists are making progress. Just wish they would hurry it along a bit. I thought it was interesting that with the oncotest "they" are now looking at women that do have ( 1 to 3 ) node involvement and are backing off on chemo for them also.
Find a dang cure already!!!!
Had a crappy night last night, can't sleep at all. the anxiety gets so bad. I know that I have to believe that I am cured...but just can't let go of the fear. At least not in the middle of the night.
I awoke about 3am and looked down at the bottom of the bed ....lol, my dog is sitting there staring at me. OMG it was soooo weird.
I guess she feels my angst.
Yes, still tired...but when I do get my rear up and am outside..walking the dog or just doing something, anything, I feel better.
We (DH, stepson) went to a place called Renningers today. It is a huge antiques mall (outdoor/indoor) and flea/farmers market.
Had a ball. People watching is a real hoot! I have now committed myself to not be so dang conservative. these ladies and gents..older than me if you can believe it...didn't give a damn what other people thought about how they looked. Just all kinds of types there. They looked like they were just having fun!
Bought some fabulous fresh fruit...yum! DH is going to make a salad.....spoke with some fabulous vendors. AND never thought about BC once...yay!!
And had the biggest bestest cheese burger ever.
I hope you ladies don't mind me telling you about my day.
See Mary I get looooong too.
love to all.
Eve
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Eve - your day sounds awesome. I LOVE antiquing and thrifting! I don't go in the winter, though, because it's just toooo dang cold out. Going to be minus 14 tonight!!
In case anyone is interested I spent my day like any other -- messing around on the computer. I'm working on a blog - Michelle you inspired me! Then looked for some recipes on Pinterest. Love that site. Also been getting into Twitter - trying to figure out how to tweet
I love technology!Went to the library to pickup some movies and another book -- I'm starting to learn about Mindfulness. The whole concept is really interesting. I'm hoping it'll help me get out of this after-cancer funk.
Tonight I decided to make oatmeal raisin cookies. I used whole wheat flour thinking it's healthier, but who knows. Basically just followed the recipe on the oatmeal container. Added some vanilla almond milk because I thought it would add more "healthyness." After it was all mixed up good, I smashed it all into a square baking dish instead of making little individual cookies because I'm lazy. At the last minute I got a craving for chocolate so added some chocolate chips .... pressed them into the top layer and then sprinkled a bunch on top. It turned out really good!!
I don't usually think about bc anymore. I just have this "awareness" of my TE's and beneath those I sort of imagine the empty places where my breasts used to be and think....hmm, that's interesting. Usually all I"m thinking about is my foobs! How strange is that? LOL! I'm always flashing my DH and he thinks it's so funny. He's happy as long as I'm happy. Guess I'm doing okay - the main thing is that I'm not in pain and I don't have any other funky things going on with 'em, so I'm a happy camper!
Sweet dreams everyone!
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Mary, Laurie and Girlstrong - I so wish you didn't have to deal with the winter. I wish I could send some sunshine your way. Although we have been getting rain, it's nothing compared to your cold and snow.
Getting out has really been helping me, even if it is just running errands. Working is necessary (at least for me) to pay the bills. The rest is for us. People watching is a fantastic pastime Eve. They say, dance, like no one is watching. Maybe that is what we will take from this. After we kill off the BC, maybe we all live to old age, and enjoy our lives all the more, because BC taught us to appreciate what we have now. I know...kinda heavy, but I keep thinking that something good must come from all of this....just saying.
I did go to class this morning. It was hard. Just running around the mat and kicking left me completely winded, but it also felt fantastic and made me feel alive and strong. Sure, there were things I didn't try to do, but I kept moving, modifying the drills to lower the impact, or just doing something slightly different. My taekwondo family is so supportive and wonderful. They all think I'm Wonder Woman. LOL..I came home after class, took a shower, and fell asleep with my wet hair wrapped in a towel for 2 hours! So, I'm clearly not a superhero, but Monday, I'll try again, and maybe after a few weeks, I'll be stronger.
Okay...I'll get off my soap box!
Love to all of you!
Diane.
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PS - The pic is the one I took to my PS. Not sure why I couldn't get it to attach. I'll change it back soon.
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Ooh la la Diane! Lovely picture!!!
Glad you got to go to class. Doing something that makes us feel strong is very important right now I think!
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ditto to the ooh la la Diane!
So proud of you for getting back to classes. Yes, I am going to start dancing. I wore long dangly earrings yesterday, usually wear little studs, and I decided to keep my hair short and dark red, And to stand up straight.
Hey Mary, your cookies sound awesome. I love finding trash and turning it into a treasure. I make bird baths out of old pieces and parts. I'll upload some pics later. I do think about BC when I am not busy and now I am waking up in the middle of the night with a small anxiety attack. I have a really hard time getting back to sleep, or I am having awful dreams and I don't want to go back to sleep. I used to be pretty good at talking myself into a better state of mind, sigh. I loooove the library. I always feel as if I'm getting something special for free when I come home with an armful of books.
Well we're off, going to the dog park and I think DH and step-son are going to shoot some hoops, not sure if I am ready for that, but I'll try a few.
have a great day everyone
Eve
Life isn't waiting for the sun to come out, it's dancing through the raindrops anyway.
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This morning it was -26 C with a windchill of -35 C. I can hardly wait for it to be warm so I can get out. Not fun walking in this cold....I've done it....but it sux!
I'm definately in the after-cancer funk. I know it....my DH knows it...but I can't or don't want to get out of it. I seem to just want to be alone....with my thoughts.
I think a lot about my foobs too! I'm always aware of them. I'm obsessed with them for sure. Some good some not so good. Weird....I never thought too much about my boobs!
My DH wants to take me to a sunny place in 2 weeks. I want to go! I'm sure it's exactly what I need... But it makes me nervous. I'm already worried I'll have an anxiety attack so far from home.
Sorry....just wondering if that's how someone else feels....
Laurie
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I feel like I'm just not healing as quickly as I thought/hoped I would. I'm going on 5 weeks passed my BMx. I'm still taking meds, sore in front and get bad back pain. Sometimes I just sit in the recliner and think of what I lost.... My breast, when I'm ready to become intimate with my husband again the sensations that won't be there, how awkward that might be for both of us, my ability right now to be physical with my 4 kids, instead of me taking care of them they are taking care of me! I'm worried about going back to work. The physical parts of it; just being able to be up for 8 plus hours on my feet, not having emotional breakdowns in front of the kids- I teach grade 6, I just don't feel like I am going to be the same me that I was 5 weeks ago ever again and that just takes over me emotionally! I sit and cry almost grieving for the me that has died. I know I should be grateful and I am! That my doctors caught this early and I'm cancer free! No radiation, no chemo, no tamoxifen etc but this whole journey... Finding out the diagnosis, the BMx, not having a fill yet, knowing the process is on going is just so overwhelming!!! Then this past Friday my dad had to have heart surgery, I'm just an emotional mess and don't want my four small kids to see my emotional breakdowns!!! I'm supposed to be the strong one!!!! Today's my husbands birthday and I'm not even able to drive yet to get him a cake or present. I have to have him get his own cake!! It's just been an extremely emotional morning for me!!!
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Diane - Wowza! LOVE your profile pic from what I can see of it. I think the best I looked was about 19 - that's how I old I was when I met my DH. In 1976! I'll have to see what pin-up pics I can find of me then, lol! He's never been a boob man, so this (reconstruction) is all for me
Eve - so glad to hear you are dancing and rocking your new look with dangling earrings
I was just thinking the same thing the other day -- I don't usually wear jewelry, but I'm going to start. I need to get my hair done, too. Love your new motto Laurie - I admire you for getting out in that weather. I can only bear it long enough to go to the car and back. We are fortunate to have a indoor walking track nearby, but trying to get motivated to go there every day is a major accomplishment for me. Say YES to the trip and worry about it later
Take some Xanax along - or whatever else kind of meds work for you. I've thought of doing that too. We've got friends all over the country who have invited us to come visit, but like you I'm a little wary to leave my cocoon just yet. Mommyathome - So sorry you are feeling this way. We all recover at a different pace. It must be so hard with 4 kids! There are days when we just have to grieve what we've lost, but then we must move on. It's not easy. I have a hard time getting up each day and finding purpose and meaning. Wish I had a job. I'm still looking for what it is I'm supposed to do with my life! I too, am so grateful that I found my cancer -- right on the cusp of early stage!! It could have been so much worse. But no one is guaranteed a long life no matter what. As my therapist said, she could step outside and get hit by a bus! I've suffered from clinical depression all my life, so these feelings are not new to me. But, I know how important is to get help from a therapist when you're feeling down. They can help in so many ways!
Be good to you. Do whatever makes you happy.
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Hi everyone!
This is my first post in this thread--I had a BMX Jan. 29th, and am doing great. I have a kind of different situation in that I do not have breast cancer, though I didn't know that before the surgery. I have found so much helpful information here as I navigate decisions about reconstruction and recovery, but I feel kind of impostor-ish being here and not having cancer currently. (I had colon cancer 15 years ago.)
I have had abnormal mammograms for 6-8 years, and biopsies every year. I am now not able to have biopsies due to an allergy to lidocaine and that class of anesthetics that was diagnosed about a year ago. I had a "follow for six months" issue last year, and when I went back in November for follow-up and to address a new place in my left breast that was concerning me, the area I could feel was found to be ok, but the radiologist tentatively diagnosed a 4 cm Phyllodes tumor in my right breast. It was time for my yearly oncology checkup, so my MO and I talked about it, and having read what I could find about Phyllodes, I told him that I was interested in having genetic testing done for breast cancer (in case it wasn't Phyllodes) and he said he wouldn't even suggest doing the test, that he fully supported moving straight to surgery (he also said that one concern of his regarding the genetic testing was that if I tested negative, my insurance company could use that as a way to deny surgery if I ended up needing that, since without biopsy we did not have proven tissue). He presented my case to a breast cancer grand rounds the next day, and it was unanimously agreed that given my personal history, my family history, and the fact that my brother and I are believed to have Lynch syndrome, bilateral mastectomy both to remove the now several tumors of concern and hopefully to act in a pre-emptive way as well was the best option for me. The surgeon who did my surgery was one of the doctors at the grand rounds. Sentinel node biopsy was negative (was only done on the right side), and pathology showed no cancer, but several extremely large, fast-growing fibroadenomas (had had FAs since I was a teenager) in the right breast and severe adenosis in the left (where I had had most of my biopsies previously). I am now weighing whether to do reconstruction, and have my second visit with PS this Friday (not sure how that will go--I told surgeon to save nothing and leave nothing, so am curious to see what my options are with PS).
I am very grateful for the conscientious care I have received--and for finding this board. I am learning so much here.
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Thanks bc101! I appreciate you taking the time to read my post and then respond. I have my moments. I always have some discomfort, the levels of pain vary. My husband mentioned this morning that I should try to wean off the dialaudid and Valium. I'm just not sure I can handle the pain. I guess this is a new normal... Will I always have discomfort/Pain? I can't stay on the pain meds forever. I haven't even had a fill yet, which makes me nervous because that can cause more discomfort! I'm not getting paid now being out of work but if I'm not ready I'm going to have to talk to my administration about extending my leave. Problem is I'm not covered by FMLA because I just started my job in August. They are not obligated by law to keep my position.... I've waited for this job for like years!!!!!! A teaching position in my hometown!!! I can't afford to be out of work, but I can't afford to go back and not being able to do it and be in pain all day. Everyone keeps telling me you got three weeks to feel better...... Yup 3 weeks.
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Mommy - have you talked to your docs on how to better manage your pain? At about the 2 week mark, I called and spoke with my surgeon's nurse to help me. My husband had gone back to work and I was having problems trying to manage the pain. She helped me plan a schedule for taking pain meds. I drew up a chart to keep track and set an alarm so I'd remember. It's important to stay on top of the pain. For me personally, it was Tylenol every 6 hours, then if the pain was not manageable, usually at the end of the day, I'd take the narcotic Tramadol. The pain seemed to be worse at the end of the day. Is that true for you?
If you haven't already, I highly recommend that you have a conversation with a member of your team. They are obligated to take care of you and help you manage a tolerable level of pain. Have they suggested or offered anything else? How often do you take the narcotics? I'm not familiar with those meds, but my docs didn't want me to be on narcotics for long. At my 4 week visit, the PA hesitated filling my RX for Tramadol, but I told her that I was considering removing the TE's because the pain was so bad. She pointed out that even if the TE's were removed, the pain might be from the mastectomies. She filled my RX, but told me that she wanted me off them within the next 2 weeks. Ironically, the pain went away a few days after that, so I didn't need it.
Being on narcotics isn't a good thing. Have you tried Tylenol or Ibuprofen? Narcotics have many negative side effects. For one, I was told it suppresses your breathing. That's why you are monitored so closely in the hospital. Then there's constipation ... and a host of other side effects.
I hope you can call your clinic on Monday and get some help. Tell them your concerns about going back to work. If you don't get someone who is sympathetic or can provide answers, ask for someone else. Remember, your team is working for you - or at least they should be.
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Bc101,
I take dialaudid anywhere between 4 hours to 8 hours apart... Depending on the day. I take Valium once or twice a day for muscle spasm plus it's supposed me sleep at night. I do take 600 mg of Motrin but its every 8 hrs. And it makes me nauseous sobifbi don't have a full meal I skip that and take Tylenol. I'm taking senna and Colace for constipation prevention. I'm off the antibiotics now. I think starting Monday I'm going to try taking Motrin and Tylenol during the day every 8 hours and then use the dialaudid and Valium only as needed. I guess some of the pain/discomfort I just have to accept. It's not excruciating... It's more discomfort, sometimes feels like my cleavage is tearing etc....
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Bc101,
I guess the other aspect is that when I'm on my feet too long I feel dizzy and I get nauseous. I just feel more comfortable laid back in my recliner and I didn't expect nor want to be in the recliner 75 percent of the day at week 5! I guess I'm just anxious about going from where I am now at week 5 to where I know I need to be at week 8 going back to work. I haven't had a fill yet and it's my understanding through these posts that this causes or can cause more disconfort. I know, one day at a time but I feel I need to be honest with myself and if I don't think I can go back in 3 weeks I have to contact my principal/superintendent and discuss how we can do this financially with my husband. The whole thing just sucks!!! And I'm only at the beginning of the process! I still have to get through the fills, exchange and nipple reconstruction.... So overwhelming and daunting!!!
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Mommy - yep, that's a lot to take in. I wonder if your dizziness and nausea is from the meds? Hope you can get some help from your docs on that part of it anyway. Hate to tell you this, but they won't like that you're in your chair most of the day. They want you up and walking right away...like immediately. I know it's painful, but you have to get over the hump and work up to it somehow.
Oh my gosh, don't worry about the fills yet!! That should be the least of your worries. They really are not that bad (from my personal experience). The first one was probably the most uncomfortable for me. They had to aspirate the air that was put in during surgery, so I was completely deflated, lol, like a bicycle tire! Then they filled it up with saline, so it was a lot. It wasn't extremely painful as I recall....And I didn't even feel discomfort with my last one. Just tell your doc your concerns and ask them to take it low and slow (50 cc's) at first.
And ditto on the exchange and nips!! That's waaaaaaaaay down the road! The only way I can cope with all of this is taking it One.... Step.... At a time! Baby steps!
But still, it's okay to vent here....don't let me stop you from doing that. We get it!
So....Give yourself a big pat on the back for getting this far
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Thanks bc101,
I appreciate your responses and pep talk. I wish it was Warner so I cn get out and go for walks. I go to my kids basketball games, I went to the hospital to see my dad and my mom and sister come to take me shopping every now and then. I hope the dizziness and nausea go away when I attempt to drop or adjust the meds. thanks again!
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Eve - Love the saying about life dancing through the raindrops. So true.
Laurie - I think going someplace sunny would be EXACTLY what you need! Will you stop stressing? No. Will you stop thinking about everything? No. But you'll be somewhere else, with distractions and doing something for YOU, and there's a lot to be said for that. Just don't come to Texas...LOL It was 80 degrees yesterday and today it's snowing and 18 degrees with a wind chill of 0! Crazy.
mommyathome - I think all of your concerns are so valid. I have the same issues with being intimate with my hubby. I can't imagine feeling sexy at all right now. And your fears about going back to work aren't unfounded.... it takes a lot out of you! It will take a while for your stamina to build back up, but it will happen. {{{Hugs}}} Don't ask too much of yourself. Yes, you're the mom, but there's nothing wrong with your kids and your hubby taking care of you (even on his birthday! LOL). And three weeks can make a big difference in how you're feeling, I promise. Get out and walk some each day, going a little longer every time. That can help you feel stronger by the time you get back to work.
bc101 - Great advice! Be good to ourselves and do what makes us happy.
auntpaula - Welcome to our little group! :-) Don't feel like you're an imposter... we're all dealing with surgery stuff, so you fit right in! Good for you for being proactive and taking care of this now and not waiting to see if the other shoe will drop. Congrats on being a 15 year cancer survivor!! Let us know what the PS says about recon.
I ended up in bed from 4pm on yesterday thanks to my headache from hell. Ugh. I woke up around 9pm feeling a little better... ate some toast and took some more meds, and was back to sleep by 11pm. I got up at 9 this morning. I haven't slept that much since I first came home from surgery! I think I've really, really been overdoing it and my body said STOP. Luckily my headache is much better today (still there, but not bad at all) and I feel a little bit more rested.
Tomorrow I have to take Hubby to the periodontist for some bone graft work (or something... he doesn't ask a lot of questions because he doesn't want to know...LOL). Tuesday I have an appointment with my MO and Thursday back to Dallas for another fill and phys therapy. Oy, it never ends!
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