January 2014 Surgery Sisters
Comments
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Mommyathome - BC101 is right - ONE DAY AT A TIME!!! Don't stress about the fills. I've had four, and none of them have caused pain. The first three I didn't even notice a thing (other than my growing cleavage...LOL). The last one made my cancer side a little uncomfortable, but that's it, and that's only because my surgeon had to remove so much skin on that side that it's really tight. There's no rush on your recon, so if you can't handle fills yet, don't do them! I had to get mine done before I started rads, so I was on a timeline. If you're not, don't worry about it. Focus on getting stronger, and getting out of your recliner! Being down and out mentally probably isn't helping. But the more you sit the more you'll want to sit. Get up, walk around, do some laundry, do your stretching exercises (are you doing them?? that can help with the pain, too, by loosening things up a bit), etc.
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Mommy, so sorry you are not feeling much relief from the pain and discomfort. I will tell you that while I am off all the pain meds except ibuprofen and I did take a norco after my first fill before I went to bed, I do feel discomfort All The Time. I am aware of my ever changing, ever moving, lumpy, tight, squishy, hard, TEs. I guess my point is that you will have to adjust to new normals for awhile. Please work with your doctor on a plan to wean yourself off. I think it will help you get stronger.
As for the fills, I did experience some tightness and more discomfort for a few days, but, oddly enough my back pain was better so sleeping has actually been a bit easier. It's almost like the balloons filling up out front provided my back some relief. Can't explain it, everyone is different. You. Ought be one of the lucky ones!
There must be something with the 4+ week mark. For the first time since surgery this weekend was tough for me emotionally, too. Invited to two fun parties I would have loved to attend and went to neither. Thought I would walk the mall and ran in to too many spring break shoppers I knew. Timing doesn't work for me to attend my daughters senior trip to the Caribbean we have been planning with a group for a year. Head to work in two weeks and have limited wardrobe that will be comfortable and fit. I hope my pants fit given all the comfort food I have eaten the past month without exercise. Walked 3 miles on Friday and Saturday my right foob was swollen with fluid (better now but I quit walking the treadmill for awhile). I think I am just stressing waiting to find out my onco test and chemo journey. Ok, I feel better now.
Aunt Paula, welcome. We all took different journeys to arrive at this same place. We all have our stories to tell. You have found a great group of supportive gals here.
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Hi, Mommyathome,
I had similar issues with dizziness and nausea when I was taking pain medicine (Norco). They subsided as I moved to Tylenol completely. It is hard to get up and get around, but that was something that was huge for me--the more I moved, the more I felt like moving. I would be exhausted, but overall my energy level improved day by day. I hope you are able to find a balance between managing your pain and being able to do the things you want to do.
Lighthouselady (love your name!), thank you for the welcome! I hope today has been better. It's funny how our bodies will definitely let us know when we are overdoing it!
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Hi all,
I've been sitting here reading and re-reading your posts.
My heart breaks for all of us. We are all trying to make sense of a diagnosis that in reality has no cure. Yet we also are looking forward and not giving up on our future...(our new normal, although I am beginning to hate that term). We are all trying to navigate a labyrinth of treatments, pain, relationships, research, doctors opinions, etc. knowing that we can never get to an absolute right decision that will save all of our lives.
And we all apologize for feeling scared, unnerved, betrayed, depressed, fat, lame, mean, cold, hot, unsure, having anxiety, not sleeping tired, not wanting to back to work, not working at all, add to the list my friends.
WHY, WHY do we have to feel bad because we are not perfect, that we are not ready to be the same as we were before this crappy DX came into our lives.
It is difficult to step out of our current comfort zones. I like being a couch potato. I want to sit on my ass. I don't want to be a hero. Right now if I don't feel good , damn it...I just don't feel good. OK? But I also don't want to take a pill to help me feel better. been there done that. Made everyone else feel better, but it did not allow me to work through my feelings, my demons, those pills (paxil, Prozac, Effexor etc.) numbed me. Mary, same here...with the depression thing, I know the whys of my depression, too depressing to tell here (lol) I want to be stronger that needing a med for it again......so I will try for a while, but if I can't overcome it with my own mind speak....we'll see.
Mommyathome... I was on the pain thread....someone there, was in your situation where the pain was unexpectedly bad. Turned out that a main nerve was being compressed in the breast by the TE. After getting a fill the compression was relieved, at any rate you must tell your doctor about the pain as I am sure you know.
Laurie, Go for it ! I am with Mary...take along any anti- anxiety stuff you have...or drink a few beers...whatever...get away. If there is pressure to get away for reasons your are not ready to ...ummmm...want...like sex....then make that clear.
I do and then don't want to be intimate. Mostly don't. last night, after the 3rd night being awake in the middle of the night, my Dh says to me "we could conduct a clinical trial" lol meaning we could see if having sex would help me fall back to sleep.....lol...I told him to see if a cold shower would help him fall back to sleep. So he gave me a lovely back rub instead.
TIARAS ON LADIES !!!!!!
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Got it wrong in my post......this makes more sense.
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Hi. I've been reading all the posts and they're so helpful. I had my surgery February 17th but hope you don't mind if I drop into this forum. I did a double mastectomy left side with the lymph nodes immediate reconstruction with permanent implants and AlloDerm. try to wean off the pain pills 2 days ago to just ibuprofen but was too hard. I have for drains in one came out Friday the rest are in for at least a week more I find the most pain is between the breasts like the pec muscles are just digging hard and deep and the left armpit is really sore. I am driving and doing household work but still trying to rest as much as possible.
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Eve - you have such a great way of putting things. Yes, tiaras on!!
Hi aunt paula and linda - welcome to the Jan Surgery Sisters! Yes, feel free to join in. We won't discriminate! Here's hoping we all find our way back on the road to recovery - at our own pace and in the time that's right for each one of us. We were all different before this journey began, so we will all be in different places psychologically, physically, emotionally and spiritually. All of our healing needs are different. Sending you all cyber hugs and positive vibes!!
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Oh Bravo Mary! EXACTLY. Well put.
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Thanks ladies!!! Man it was just an emotional day today! I do have to contact my dr and see what I should do. My husband helped me shower around 3:00 as I can't get my arms up high enough to wash my hair yet and then I went to my sons basketball game at 5:00. We went out to dinner to eat and I was soooooo uncomfortable. Still am. My back hurts the worst. My breasts are sore but msn my back is killing me. I have some swelling on my lower back near my last rib. I mentioned this to my ps but she didn't think too much about it. Has this happened to anyone? I think it's a 2 dialaudid and 1 Valium kinda night. I just can't stand the pain!!! I've gained 10 pounds and just don't feel like me. I don't know if the swelling on my back is related to the BMx... Like I said my ps doesn't think so but then I'm like well what is it? Why is it swollen and sore?? Ugh!!! I haven't slept in the bed since my surgery jan 29, I was going to try last night but fell asleep in the living room on a chair with a hearing pad on my back....
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Dtkd,
how was returning to work? did you make it through a full day or are you starting with part-time? I've been thinking about you. I have my mx on March 10. Mostly moved over to the March sisters page, lol
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momaton,
Seriously...WHY aren't we neighbors????? we would be such good friends, hahahahahaha!
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Hi Tarot: I went back to work last Monday, working full time. I did go home 3 hrs early on Thursday, because I was dead dog tired, from not sleeping, but got some sleep meds from my PS and went back Friday with a full night of sleep. I went back to my Taekwondo class Saturday...being careful and no contact or hits. I'm finally turning the corner. One more fill on Tuesday and we can schedule my exchange.
Good luck with your MX. My advice, for what it is worth, is to keep moving forward...even if it is just a baby step at a time, and do the range of motion exercises, it will help in the long run, even though they hurt...and when you are feeling low...turn to your March sisters...and to us!
Love and hugs,
Diane.
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I love what you wrote, Eve.
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Morning girls. I just wanted to share a moment of insensitivity that I got on the weekend. My sisters friend who I met for the first time Friday said to me.."well now that you know what you've done wrong to cause your BC you can change your life to be better"! Fuck you stranger lady! I was shocked that someone would be so bold.
Anybody else have people say stupid things to you about BC?
Lautie
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What a stupid and completely insensitive (and completely wrong!) thing to say!
I haven't gotten a lot of comments overall, but definitely "But you'll get new boobs!" and one person told me how much better a person I'd be when it's all done. (I asked her if my breasts had somehow been diminishing my character and I just hadn't known it.)
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Stupid cow!! I hope your sister was equally offended. Some people find the need to separate themselves from us (the 1in 8 women who will have BC), and somehow make it our fault, so it couldn't happen to them. I hope your sister will rip her a new one and educate her.
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Oh Laurie {{hugs}} I've found that most people are very uncomfortable with cancer. Especially breast cancer - women don't want to think it can happen to them. That was an incredibly insensitive and rude thing to say, and of course wrong on so many levels. I'm sorry that happened to you, but yes, I've had people say things that made me think "What??!??!" Like auntpaula said - most people will say "Oh, but you'll get a free boob job" or something like that. Yeah, I'd rather have my 41 yr old, nursed two kids, saggy boobs thank you very much. I wouldn't give it (or her) a second thought. Not worth your time.
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Laurie,
I searched through my tiara collection.
I will send you this one, so the next time you see that stupid bitch you can take it off and beat the hell outta her with it.
Nice and pointy , don't you think? Could cause a world of hurt.
God, people are clueless.
hang in there kid.
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I always get that wow you get a "free boob job" or think positive (we all know cancer cells.listen, not) or my favorite please tell me everyone you know who has died!
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Levassell,
I had a co worker say to me, that she was having dinner with her mom, now keep in mind my co worker is about 60... And she said to her mom... Mom thanks for not giving me breast cancer! the reason why she came and told me about her conversation was that she knew my mom was diagnosed 6 years ago. I wanted to smack her straight upside her head!!!! Like my mom gave me the "gift" of breast cancer!!! Oh I was pissed!!!!
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I would be too!
People seriously just do not think; they must just feel the need to say SOMETHING, and it's usually something best not said. Yes, please tell me all the horror stories you've heard about someone's surgery going horribly wrong, or how they died, etc. It's like when you're pregnant and people want to tell you their horror stories about delivery. And of course, as lindacam said, "Think positive!" And also be grateful and profound and all those things, because otherwise you're UNgrateful, and in that case, you probably just brought it on yourself. And if you were smart, you would forget all the "Western medicine" and eat raw rosemary/lemon/garlic/etc., which has clearly been proven to kill cancer. But if you'd rather be a minion of The Man, go right ahead.... (someone actually posted that on my Facebook page yesterday lol)
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My personal favorite (NOT!) is telling me IN FRONT of my 11 YEAR OLD SON, how they lost their mother and cousin to BC. Yes, it's happened twice. When I asked my son how it made him feel, he said "I feel lucky that you aren't going to die.". Thankfully, my boy has more sense than most adults.
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Yep....so many insensitive stories. If only they could hear what it sounds like to the BC patient when they say stupid things. Yes I especially love the one where they act as though we are lucky that we got BC so we could get new boobs! Wear these babies for a day and they would realize it's not such a blessing.
I figured many of you would have similar stories to share! This lady is some kind of nutritionist that would disagree with any type of treatment other than all natural.
I kinda was snotty with her. Told her i wasn't giving up everything i loved just because I got BC. I said I just like my beer and red meat. She didn't have too much to say after that.
Sometimes I just sit there and I'm sure my jaw must drop open with some of the comments i get.
Laurie
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Wow, those are some bad ones!
I haven't heard too much yet because I haven't been out and about. One friend did say the "at least you'll be getting new boobs". I explained the difference between regular breast plastic surgery and reconstruction. She was shocked. But some people will NEVER get it. Last fall, my sister-in-law said of my upcoming lumpectomy: "Once that's all over it'll be done and you can go on with your life!" That wasn't the end, of course. I had one more excision and then the BMX, ALND, and recon. She had also sent me a link on positive thinking. I just laughed.
Michelle and others facing upcoming surgery - here's an interesting link on reducing pain pre-operatively. You may want to investigate or ask your doc if they know anything about these methods. It's from my clinic. They didn't use these new methods on me, although I did get a spinal block.
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Oh, one other story along those lines ...
Last summer after I was diagnosed we were up at our lake cabin with family - just sitting around the campfire one night like we always do. For some reason everyone's fav topic to talk about is their upcoming retirement. We're all getting to be that age! My DH cannot WAIT to retire. It's hard for me to listen to, though, when they talk about when they can finally quit working and enjoy a supposedly loooong retirement. As long as nothing happens, that is. Then it gets quiet. I can hear their minds saying - as long as you don't get cancer. I say it aloud. "Yep" - says my sister in law - like she has it in the bag.
Then a short time after she sent me that link on "Mind Over Matter" and the comments about life going on, you'll be fine...don't worry....she came down with some weird symptoms. Her whole body was swollen with some kind of inflammation. Couldn't get out of bed, couldn't walk, use her hands....After many tests none of the docs know what it is. She's on prednisone and it's getting better, but she now only works part time and is considering taking early retirement. The problem is ... her health. So as you all know, none of us have a guarantee.
BTW, I didn't rub it in. Didn't mention reading "Mind Over Matter," or offer useless suggestions on what to do or what to eat. Just hugged her. That's all...
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Wow I have not had crazy comments but if I did get one someone would get a good ole fashion cursing out.(lyrics from my favorite Gisele song)...You don't know my journey you don't know the pain that I been through
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Slept propped up in the bed for the first time last night since my BMx on January 29! My back has been just as sore or possibly even more sore than my breasts lately. I have back swelling and pain but my bs and ps said it can't be due to surgery, take Motrin. Damn, this hurts!!!!
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Mommy - did you call your MO and PCP?
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On my way for (hopefully) my last fill today! I have tons of questions for her regarding exercise and pain and returning to work.
Shouldn't be as bad as last time....not much left to put in!
Have a great day ladies!
Love and hugs.
Laurie
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Bc101,
I called my bs and ps. They just said it shouldn't be due to surgery. Suggested to take Motrin. I am trying, trying to switch from dialaudid to tylenol and Motrin but at times the pain isn't controlled by the medicines. Maybe I'm just a wimp! Lol. I go today for my first fill, hopefully!!! I'm going to have the ps check me out again but she didn't seem concerned. They both said it was probably due to sleeping in a recliner so long. So I tried the bed last night. This morning, so far it's manageable. It seems the longer I'm up the more pain I get. I'm supposed to go back to work march 26... That is worrying me! If I need more time I need to let me superintendent and principal know. I just thought I'd be pain free by now... I had 4 c sections and they were no where this bad! I know different surgery but I just thought by week 5-6 I would be good. I took 8 weeks just as a precaution I'm glad I did
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