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January 2014 Surgery Sisters

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Comments

  • levassel
    levassel Member Posts: 254
    edited September 2014

    Hi everyone.  Well I'm not back to work yet....but I'm going to commit to oct 1.  I honestly just haven't been able to get my body and mind happy and pain free altogether.  I thought this process would be quicker.  I've had an MRI...bloodwork....bone scan....and all looks good.

    I can add to the tamoxafin topic....I've been on it since oct last year....so just finishing up year 1.  I blame all my ailments on that....true or not.  My tiredness....my moodiness....my backaches.  I had my hormone levels checked a few weeks ago and my doc says they are fine.  HOW CAN THEY BE FINE???  What I know is true is I've gone from a 28 day cycle to 35 to 45 and the last was 60 day cycle.  And the cramps are ridiculous....sometimes like minor labor pains.  Hurt when I would press on my uterus area....so finally went to emerg and got an ultrasound and they say I'm just fine.  Ok then....I'm just fine.

    I'm waiting for a prescription for an anti depressant....I can't seem to get out of my hole.  Even golfing hasn't been fun.

    But apparently I'm fine....so I should get my lazy ass back to work.

    I've been reading all your posts....sry I haven't chatted.  But as you can see I'm not too pleasant.  Lol

    Laurie

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited September 2014

    LOL Eve...so I only have another decade of crappy attitude...awesome. My biggest challenge will be NOT using any tkd or hapkido on him. 😉 I hope you and Nate have a fabulous time and that you don't fall off your shoes!

    Hi Laurie - can't wait to catch up!

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited September 2014

    Hi Laurie:  We must have been posting about the same time.  It sounds like you have had a rough time with your hormone adjustments.  Most of us were at least approaching menopause when all this hit.  I was in full menopause and on HRT with Estrogen therapy, which they cut me off last November after diagnosis.  It it has to be so much harder to be slammed into it with Tamoxifen or Chemo when you still have higher levels of hormones.  It sounds like you are getting some help.  You don't have to put on a happy face here.  We all love you.  If you feel like what  you have to say is too dark, feel free to PM me anytime.  I'm not that pleasant myself, but will always make an effort for you or any of my January Sisters.

    Today was a good day.  No crying fits and no screaming at my son...mainly because I was at back to school night without him, but hey, I'll take it.  If I have one good day...right?

    Hugs to all you lovely ladies! 

    Diane.

     


  • anneb1149
    anneb1149 Member Posts: 821
    edited September 2014

    Mornin'Everyone

    Diane-I remember when DD#1 was going through that awful moody, yucky period. I was complaining to a friend whose kids were all grown. She said not to worry - at about 18 they become human again, and by 21 you'll actually be friends. My response was that she wasn't helping me- with 5 kids and a 14yr span between the oldest and youngest I was going to have kids in that 13 to 18 range for an awfully long time. Little did I know then, DD#1 was the easiest of the 5 - a walk in the park compared to DS#1 who ended up being the one to graduate from college with honors, and most difficult (horrendous) DD#3.

    Laurie- just want to encourage you to hang in there, and especially when you get an antidepressant. Have patience- it can take up to 6 weeks for you to feel a significant difference. They have to build up in your system.

    Gotta run- taking both grandsons for eye exams this morning and one to a skin Dr this afternoon.

    Anne

  • Summerwheat
    Summerwheat Member Posts: 54
    edited September 2014

    Congratulations Eve and Anne, I have been thinking of both of you, and it's so good to hear that all turned out to be fine. I am totally paranoid about every ache, pain and anything unusual, it's driving me batty. And nobody who has not been there understands that. I have been dealing with insomnia and pretty bad hot flashes the last few nights. And I have an exchange date: Nov. 12. Don't ask me what kind of implant I am getting, I trust my PS in this regard.

    I am going back to work fulltime on Oct. 1, and physically, I have been feeling stronger - only loosing a few toenails right now and slow hair and nail growth (and loosing my eyelashes) remind me of the chemo that is still working in my body. Emotionally, don't ask .... I have always been kind of a strong person, but this really got to me. And my son has started his 4th year of school with all kinds of bad behavior, "lost" homework etc., which I think comes from him being overwhelmed with the increased expectations and homework, so we are working with him to resolve that.  

    You all mentioned that you are in this "in between" place right now, active treatment over, trying to find something meaningful or going back to normal life, whatever that means. I am experiencing that as well, but have not found anything satisfactory. I volunteer at my kids' school and the Girl Scouts occasionally, see my friends regularly, have fun with my kids, am busy at work and am updating our house, which we bought 2 months before my diagnosis last year, so there is a lot of work to do. That should keep me busy, but I still feel something is missing, and I am not sure what. So I unearthed my guitar, played some Beatles songs (felt good ...), am thinking about getting a piano and learning to play that, so that I can play with my kids who both play the violin, looked into a conversational Italian class, and, and, and, but not sure whether that is what is missing. Just a weird stage of life, I think. And I believe that I am trying to get myself into lots of activity to not think about cancer. Well, enough now, back to work.

    Have a good day, and thank you for sharing your feelings here, that shows me that I am not alone. I don't know many people who had cancer and who understand.

    Hugs, Alexandra

     

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited September 2014

    I feel the same way as all of you. it's so weird to be told "you are fine"....I always want to add "but for how long?" It scares the hell out of me to have a pap test coming up and to make myself do the colonoscopy. I just don't want to open another can of worms...if it ain't broke don't fix it sort of thing.

    I am not depressed, I know what that feels like, but I am emotionally unavailable and that manifests in my intimate relationship with Nate (duh).  Hope that's not TMI. I feel so inadequate......My husband loves me like mad and yet I can't respond to that because I feel so, I don't know, scarred. 

    I don't want to open up because I don't want to let go of my control. Do they make  Viagra for women? :P

    Alexandra, I like all your options of trying to get out of the funk.  You are describing a search for the passion we used to have, finding the zone, the zen. Much like Diane and Ann have for their martial arts.  I get into the zone when I am being creative....my degree is in fine arts. I am good at any type of craft or painting etc that I try...not being conceited here, just that is where my talents lay.  I envy you re-doing your house...that is one thing I love to do. I remodeled our bathroom from floor to tile to light fixtures and of course painting....looooove ripping stuff apart and putting it back together....hmmmm I could use new kitchen cabinets......

    anyhow, Laurie, there you have it....we all have dark stuff, maybe if we all just spit the garbage out....we could move on. We are here for you no matter what your mood.

    Diane, yeah, kids can really suk for a few years. You just really have to sit on them. They tend to dislike you even more when you rein their little attitudes in. BUT, when they get older, they come back and thank you.....in spades. Mine are just so wonderful to me now. I just smile when they thank me for being hard on them.  No boots for me....I was mopping the floor yesterday and caught my little toe on the coffee table leg....ouch....just not happening...so I will wear my good friends, my BOB'S flats....heaven in a shoe. 

     You said something about connecting with others...that is good advice. My neighbor, whom I talk to almost everyday when we have our dogs out for their morning constitutional.....Came over this morning and asked if i'd like some company....well my first reaction was no. However I invited her in for a cup of joe.  She is a hispanic, liberal democrat and a lesbian, I on the other hand am a lily white, conservative republican and heterosexual (again duh...lol)  She is very involved in local politics and I am more interested in national politics. We spent 3 hours in conversation....quite interesting and enlightening. We actually agree on more issues than not. Facinating and a wonderful exchange. I felt like I made a new friend today, not just an acquaintance. Thanks for helping me to open my heart.

    By the way, her being a lesbian is NOT something I ever cared about anyway, just said so to illustrate that she and I are very different people.

    ok I am done before I get into trouble...

    love you ladies

    Eve

     

     


     

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited September 2014

    Hi all!

    Eve - I love that you made a new friend! And right in the neighborhood, too! How perfect!

    What each of you has said is exactly how I feel. Especially all the menopausal symptoms - insomnia, hot flashes.... Thought I was done with all that years ago! The hormones are pushing me into a "deep menopause" according to my NP. Crap. 

    My brothers and I been dealing with some pretty frustrating situations with mom at the memory care facility and have been trying to work with them to make things better, but it's getting worse. We may need some help from an ombudsman to sift through what the heck is going on there. I don't know what's worse, having cancer, or going through this with mom. Probably the latter. Alzheimer's is poop on a stick! At least with cancer, we have HOPE!!!

    So, yes, I'm stressed out. The tipping point for me was when I started yelling at my poor brothers every time they called with yet another problem with mom's care. I found myself saying "I'm sorry" to them too many times and thought it's time to do something about that. Maybe I've already mentioned this (can't remember - I don't have a brain anymore!), but I've started an antidepressant and am taking it faithfully everyday. I'm determined to give it a chance. I want to make the crazy lady go away!

    I've been seeking out help in other ways, too. I found a clinic that specializes in cancer rehabilitation - treating the whole person in all aspects of recovery. For one - I'm seeing a physical therapist who is going to help me regain my range of motion and start slowly on strength training and flexibility so that I can get to a good starting point for physical activity. I'd love to get back into Yoga. I'm so ready to start the healing. Whatever that takes. My body just CRAVES movement right now! 

    Like Alexandra and Eve, the creative piece is sooo important for me, too! My passions are photography, crocheting, thrifting, writing, and I have tons of ideas for projects floating around in my head. I'd love to open my own Etsy shop someday. 

    So, don't have any great advice here....just trying to get through every day. One day at a time.

    Have a great weekend everyone!

    Luv,

    Mary

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited September 2014

    Hi ladies! Boy have I been busy!! I'm exhausted this work stuff is too much lol. On a serious note I can relate to the menopausal non sense. After gave a TAH/BSO July 1, I have not been able to sleep (yet again), my appetite is nil to none and I'm TIRED and irritated! I've also been having pains in the breast that wasn't healing well. Hard to explain other than someone pushing into it until they hit my ribs!!! It sucks. It comes and goes. I've been watching for fever and redness just in case infection comes back. But I don't want to get paranoid- as my bs has already said I'm paranoid!!! I've been trying to focus on family and work and living life and that's going pretty good but then I get the breast pains, night sweats, feeling beat up etc and then it's a small pity party. But gotta keep going I guess. Last year I went to work 1 1/2 hours before school starts and stayed 2-3 hours after school! This year I've vowed not to go that no matter what! I go in one hour before and leave 30 minutes after schools out. Just trying to find peace! I need peace and balance!!!! 

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited September 2014

    mary,

    I get, in a way, the nasty deterioration with a loved ones brain. It is so scary and you can really feel helpless. Added with it seems the facilities don't have a freaking clue as to how to deal with our loved ones. I ran into that countless times with Rob's brain tumor. Hospice didn't have a clue, at one point they wanted to put him in the psych ward....for a brain tumor? Boy oh boy, I had my fight on a lot back then. But fight I did, the stress was incredible....I got down to 114 lbs. A size 0 was too big for me. And Rob was just miserable. Sad awful stuff. Yes I would rather have cancer than feel my mind slipping away. hang in there kid. We have got your back.

    Anti-depressants can be wonderful. I have used them several times over the years and they helped me find my way back to myself. Your center sounds awesome, take every advantage they have to offer.

    I had an Etsy shop once...of course it was at the beginning of the recession. I sold my fancy bird houses and lady bug houses. Didn't last long, but it was fun. So many creative people out there. So what would you sell? What do you crochet? I love needle arts of all kinds and working in glass. I love color and all the colors to choose from in yarns and fabric and pens and paint...passionate about it.  I am knitting a blanket right now....at least 36 squares, I hate it...lol the colors my stepson's sister picked out are well, horrendous. It is really a challenge to make something ugly....I am thinking I will crochet flowers to applique onto the squares to bring the colors together.  We'll see.

     

    I wanted to clarify my post about my friends lifestyle and political affiliations and my own. I only stated the two to illustrate how completely different people can have a conversation and realize we are more the same than different. I won't get all political here but really I was trying to not talk about BC for a change. OK?

    love to all,

    Eve


     

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited September 2014

    Sounds like you are on the right road Beverly.  Don't let life get to you....you go get your life!

    Eve

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited September 2014

    Thanks eve! One day at a time.... Some days one hour at a time but the clock keeps ticking so no matter how bad it gets I know it'll pass.... Just like the time! My favorite saying- this too shall pass!!! I really want to get that tattooed on me lol

  • mmtagirl
    mmtagirl Member Posts: 325
    edited December 2017

    Eve, it is Friday night and I have had a glass of wine or two but I got the biggest chuckle as I read your post about the ugly blanket you are knitting.  Isn't it funny when we know something isn't "pretty" but we can't being ourselves to tell the person?

    What a diverse group we are.  Mary, dealing with dementia is never easy.  I have lived through that with my DH parents.  It is heartbreaking and we all had to have a sense of humor to get through it.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Laurie and Beverly, so glad to hear from you.  Laurie, keep on staying in touch even when you need a glass of lemonade.  We can provide the sugar.  Beverly,  you making it through class and setting boundaries!  Good for you.  I am working on that myself.  

    Winking

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited September 2014

    Thanks everyone. It's so nice to have your kind words of support....it really helps! 

    Beverly, I can tell you are getting so much stronger. Peace and balance - yes, that's what we all need, isn't it?

    Eve, you don't have to clarify - we know you. Wow, that's awesome you had an Etsy shop! My cousin has a couple of shops. One is https://www.etsy.com/shop/recombobulated?ref=shop... She is a very talented artist and professional painter who does the Etsy thing just for fun. 

    I would love sell some of the things I have collected over the years. I need to downsize! I have lots of "vintage" things amassed throughout the years, and well, just lots of STUFF to get rid of - the possibilities are endless! 

    I learned how to crochet a few years ago and started out with dishcloths, then made all sorts of hats for mom. After that, I got into a phase making nothing but baby booties just for fun and gave them to all my cousins. I also enjoy designing small purses and cozies for anything from apples to Iphones, lol! I made some cute coaster sets for Christmas gifts last year. Right now I'm experimenting with crochet earrings. I'd love to do an afghan, but I'm afraid of repetitive stress injury, so I stick with the smaller projects. Flowers are really fun to do!

    I'll have to post some pics of my crochet collection.Smile

    Well, better get to bed. I have get up early to repack my suitcase. I just got home today from two days at my mom's house and various appointments and now I've gotta throw some clothes together for up north (yawn).

    Goodnight all. Sweet dreams!

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited September 2014

    Mary,

    Thanks some days are easier than others but I know I'm preaching to the choir when I say that to u ladies. Just found out my cousin who is about my age (42) has been told her cancer came back. It went to her bones before and they stopped it her scans came back clear and now it's back. She has 2 little boys!!! It's heart breaking! Please say a prayer for her, her name is Chrissy. 

    Well it's Saturday morning no school and I've been up since 4am!!! Thermostat in the house says 66 my husbands crying he's cold and I want to open the damn window!!! Anyone have ideas for natural stuff to help w night sweats, hot flashes and insomnia? Right after my hysterectomy I was like, cool no menopausal symptoms... Well I guess it took awhile but now it's here....

  • mmtagirl
    mmtagirl Member Posts: 325
    edited December 2017

    Well, Beverly, I am in the same boat with respect to hot flashes nice chemo pause and now the tamoxifen.  I  think we may have to "sweat it out" lol until our bodies adjust.  If others have some good natural, non-estrogen producing solutions I would be interested, too!

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited September 2014

    have a great weekend all!

    Rock and Roll

    Eve

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited September 2014

    Yes. We all had the same crappy nights sleep. I have a 12x12 inch print that is still I the cellphone on cardboard that I used to fan myself during the night. When I went through this the first time, I slept on a beach towel because I would drench my sheets and pillow. I kept several sleeveless undershirts out at the foot ot the bed so I could change them without having to search through drawers. So far, it's not that bad, but that's my advice from my previous bouts with this. Keeping the house like Siberia won't help, so take pity on your husband Beverley. I did have a boyfriend she I was going through my worst time and it was difficult to sleep together. I would pile all the covers on him and sleep without anything, even in the winter. Keeping the house too cold doesn't really help so maybe take pity on everyone else. Im so sorry to hear about your cousin. She will be in my prayers. hugs to you and your family.

    I am skipping class and heading to watch a friend compete at a tkd tournament today. Looking forward to getting out and about. David is going to a jazz festival with his dad and sister.

    Rock and Roll Eve!!! Have fun girlfriend!!

  • mmtagirl
    mmtagirl Member Posts: 325
    edited December 2017

    Hi Eve! Can't wait to hear about the Tom Petty concert.  I have another friend posting on Facebook that is at the concert tonight.  She is in Florida on vaca with her hubby.  It is THE concert to attend. Rock and roll, girlfriend!

  • Summerwheat
    Summerwheat Member Posts: 54
    edited September 2014

    Insomnia and night sweats .... I think the Tamox might be doing that. I have not had more than 4 hours of sleep each night in the last three weeks, and it is getting to me. I am becoming a b****, just becasue I am so tired. I had a blood draw this morning at the worst Quest facility ever, and they actually hurt me and it was not clean there, and I complained to them afterwards and called the Quest hotline to complain. And afterwards I thought: what the heck did I do that for? But I just could not stop myself. This needs to change, but I am not sure how, and I don't want to take pills. I have always been a rather relaxed person, but something inside me has changed, and I am kind of angry and can't stop it. Have to talk to my MO about this, it's not pleasant, and it began after I started the Tamox. Not sure whether that's related, but the list of side effects lists "mood swings". Ahhhhhh. But I did have a fun weekend, with kayaking, a movie and a nature walk. Have a good week everyone.

    Mary, will keep your cousin in my thoughts.

    Alexandra

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited September 2014

    Beverly, prayers for Chrissie.

    It really stinks that you all who opted for the 5 to 10 year plan of taking hormonals  are subjected to such  havoc. Or like Beverly, thrown into menopause, in an instant. There has got to be a better way for all of us to fight the beast, long term.  Hang in there ladies, ...you all know I refused to take anything...because of the known side effects.  I really hope you all feel the effects become less and less as you move forward.

    Eve


     

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited September 2014

    OK, now for the weekend,

    LoopyHappyThumbsUpNerdy FABULOUS in a word.

    The view from the hotel (10th floor) was amazing. Looking out over the water, downtown Tampa and sunsets...ha!

     Consumed the best filet mignon I have ever had..oh my yummy. The restaurant was located on a balcony that looked over the water. There is a patio on the water. While waiting for dinner to be served I noticed a family on the patio taking pictures of a very young Marine in his dress blues. For a Marine mom like me I just had to go down and hug him....so I did! What a lovely experience. He had to translate what I was saying fro his mom, but we were instant family. I haven't hugged my Marine son for going on 3 years.....felt really good.

     We took a streetcar into Ybor city and drank quite a few pale ales.....well, I did, Nate tried quite a few of the darker brews. Ybor city is an old city near Tampa with a Cuban past. Reminded me of St, Croix in the USVI. Hand rolled cigars are made there and the pubs are a plenty.

    On Saturday we sat by the water until very late. it was amazingly peaceful. Nate and I talked about the last year and just got rid of the stress.

    Now!

    Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.....what can I say....they were the all out bomb! The true heart of rock.  Just the best concert I have ever been to. So much fun to throw off who you think you should be ....and dance and yell and clap and yell and dance.....fun, fun, fun.

    A shout out to my son for staying at the house and taking care of my pup. He texted me and said she was really sad...ahhhhhh. When we got home she kept going for one of our bags. I thought she would be wanting loveys from me....I then realized she was smelling the left over filet I brought home...so funny.

    Anyway, I feel so renewed and if not a bit tired....ready to rock the rest of my life.

    love to all,

    Eve

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited September 2014

    Hi Alexandra and my other Tamoxifen sisters:  I heard back from my MO's office and they said to start taking 400 IU's of Vitamin E right away and are prescribing Ambian for my loss of sleep.  They are checking with the MO on an antidepressant to deal with my mood swings and said it could also help with the hot flashes.  I know I can't take Effexor, which is the one usually prescribed (makes my heart race), so we'll see what they come up with.  They could not have been nicer and I feel very hopeful for a change.  I would strongly recommend you call your MO's.  Maybe they can help.

    Eve - so happy you had an awesome time!

    Love and hugs to all!

    Diane.

  • mmtagirl
    mmtagirl Member Posts: 325
    edited December 2017

    Hi all, met with the radiation oncologist today.  Decisions, decisions.

    I was hoping for a clear cut decision that rads would not be of any benefit.  Not quite the case. BMX, chemo, tamoxifen and I still have a 10% chance of recurrance.  Damn lymph node.  I did get further affirmation that in my case this doctor would have done everything I have done up to now.  She recommends rads if down the road I would second guess myself and always worry and can handle the SE's.  She says no rads if I don't want to deal with inevitable SE's and won't spend every day worrying about it coming back.  Either way, I didn't hear the "go live your life, you are or will be cured" speech.  I got the "once you make your decision don't look back" speech instead. Definitely agree and have always looked ahead once I make a decision.  I wanted to be done with the big decisions and move on to getting my matching pair of pretty new foobs! I see my MO next week and will make my final decision then.

    Eve, sing me a little Tom Petty!

    Diane, glad you have some options with the tamoxifen. Outside of the hot flashes that are about the same that I had on chemopause I am not noticing any other SEs.  So thankful for THAT!

    Take care, all.

  • Mommyathome
    Mommyathome Member Posts: 876
    edited September 2014

    Well the last two nights have been sleepless. Sunday night into Monday I slept from 10p-1 am adter taking ambien and woke up feeling sick. I stayed home from work with the hopes of sleeping- didnt hapoen. I called my doctor (gyn) yeterday to ask what i can do and why even with calium or anvien im not sleeping more than 3-4 hours. She told me to call my primary doctor and request a sleep study. Last night I didn't take anything and didn't sleep even a minute. I forced myself to get up and go to work. Boy, 20 kindergarteners on NO sleep- not fun!!!! Anyway, not sure what a sleep study will do. I think I just need to find a way to turn my mind off. I'm constantly thinking about work, finances, breast cancer, cleaning my house ugh!!!!! I just need to flipping sleep!!! Even on the weekends, I just can't turn it off!!! I'm thinking about going back to the cancer center to talk to the social worker again. I'm just a mess right now. I told my husband this morning that I feel like I'm starting to fall into a depression. I'm just overwhelmed and everything feels like its too much to handle then when it's everything at once- forget it!!! I'm yelling at my kids, trying to find a minute of quiet!!! I just need a break, a break that is just never going to come. I have 20 kids at school and 4 at home.... I've been trying not to take school work home other than Thursday's and that's the night I plan for the following week. This way I have the weekend for family time. I'm trying!! Just seems too much sometimes

  • pinktiara
    pinktiara Member Posts: 716
    edited September 2014

    FOR YOU ANN...singing a little Tom Petty and for all of you.......

    DANCe MY FRIEND.... dance!

          

    Life's  like a road that you travel on
    When there's one day here and the next day  gone
    Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
    Sometimes you turn your  back to the wind
    There's a world outside every darkened door

    Where  blues won't haunt you anymore
    Where the brave are free and lovers soar
    Come ride with me to the distant shore
    We won't hesitate, break down the  garden gate
    There's not much time left today

    Life is a highway
    I  want to ride it all night long
    If you're going my way
    I want to drive it  all night long

    Through all these cities and all these towns
    It's in  my blood and it's all around
    I love you know like I loved you then
    This  is the road and these are the hands

    From Mozambique to those Memphis  nights
    The Khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights
    Knock me down get back up  again
    You're in my blood I'm not a lonely man

    There's no load I  can't hold
    Road so rough, this I know
    I'll be there when the light comes  in
    Tell 'em we're survivors

    Life is a highway
    I want to ride it  all night long
    If you're going my way
    I want to drive it all night  long

    Life is a highway
    I want to ride it all night long
    If you're  going my way
    I want to drive it all night long

    There was a distance  between you and I
    Misunderstanding once but now we look it in the eye
    There's no load I can't hold road so rough this I know
    I'll be there when  the light comes in tell 'em we're survivors

    Life is a highway
    I want  to ride it all night long
    If you're going my way
    I want to drive it all  night long

    Life is a highway
    I want to ride it all night long
    If  you're going my way
    I want to drive it all night long

    Life is a  highway
    I want to ride it all night long
    If you're going my way
    I  want to drive it all night long

    well after checking out the lyrics...actually the song was covered by Petty and written by tom Cochran...I'm bad...still......
                           
     

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited September 2014

    Eve, thanks for posting those lyrics. I think the reason I turn to music so much - or at least I used to - is that it's such a great outlet. Singing and dancing is an awesome way to let go of stress. So glad you had a chance to dance the night away and dance out the demons!

    Diane, I was told the same thing by my MO about the hot flashes. Antidepressants do help. I guess mine aren't really that bad. I had read somewhere that with Tamoxifen you have to be careful of what antidepressant you take because it can reduce the effectiveness of the drug.

    Beverly, I think that is a common problem for all survivors. The sleep thing...I try to think of falling asleep as letting go. Like falling through air you have to let go first. It's really tough when you have all those stressors. I've found too, that I struggle no matter what I take. 

    Ann, I know exactly what you're going through! I had the same talk with at least two radiation oncologists. I also fell into the grey area. My first RO basically said the risks outweigh the benefits and everyone points to my low Oncotype score of 7% (vs Adjuvant Online) as the reason they didn't recommend it for me. When that new study came out, I sought out a 2nd opinion. She combed through my records and spent a lot of time talking about my case in light of that study. It's such a difficult thing when it's not cut and dried and you're kind of in the Twilight Zone! The two things that stuck in my mind was that I was told that rads wouldn't help me live longer, and my first RO told me, "Just because you get rads, doesn't mean you won't get a recurrence." I had many sleepless nights over it, but I made my decision and yes, I feel good about it. Not that you won't arrive at a different conclusion and decide to do it. It really comes down to peace of mind, so good luck with whatever you decide to do!!

  • mmtagirl
    mmtagirl Member Posts: 325
    edited December 2017

    Eve, your song is perfect and in my mind I can see you with a mic in your hand doing some air guitar:-)  You made me smile today!

    Mary, thanks for your words of wisdom.  The doctor yesterday said rads would knock down my rate of recurrance by 2/3. I did have a higher oncotype score than you...again in the grey zone.  Everything seems to put me in the grey zone now...including my hair:-(

  • Dtkd
    Dtkd Member Posts: 422
    edited September 2014

    Ann - I just want to hug you today.  :)  I know you'll make the right choice, but am sorry that everything seems so gray. 

    Thanks for the info Mary.  I checked into the antidepressants too and know that there are only a few that help.  My Ambian wasn't at the pharmacy last night, but I di manage to get about 6 hrs. of sleep on my own, and am feeling pretty good today.  I'll try again tonight, hopefully with help I can get a few more zzz's.   

    Still haven't heard anything from my MO's office on whether they have an antidepressant I can take that will work both with the Tamoxofen and for me.

    Class last night and a little time by myself without my son helped a BUNCH.  I'm feeling much more human.  If I'm having one good day...then it will happen again!

    Love you ladies!

    Diane.

  • Summerwheat
    Summerwheat Member Posts: 54
    edited September 2014

    Thanks, Diane. I spoke with my MO yesterday regarding sleep and mood swings (and the hot flashes, but I could live with them), and she recommended Effexor in a very low dose and suggested to try melatonin for the sleep issues. I have been working out more and it seems that it helps with the sleeping. I am not sure whether I want to take an antidepressant, that scares me somewhat. So I had a talk with my husband last night and asked him to watch me closely, if he sees any edgy behavior and more barking at the kids than necessary ... or for mor reason. I don't want to be a jerk. I might have mentioned that I barked at my boss last week (= not good to say this nicely), and I felt that was just not coming from me, but from some place that's not me, hard to explain. Oh well, why did I think things will get better once chemo is over, I did not expect that Tamoxifen would "mess with my head". Thanks to all of you for your honesty about side effects etc., that's so helpful.

    Off to a busy day now.

    Have a good day everyone.

  • bc101
    bc101 Member Posts: 923
    edited September 2014

    Summerwheat - sorry I forgot your real name. Yes, I have those weird days, too, where I find myself barking up the wrong tree, so to speak. But the crazy lady is making fewer appearances. Don't let a few bad days mess with your head. The good days will eventually outnumber the bad. Like Diane said...hold on to that! 

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