January 2014 Surgery Sisters
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Okay, so I just got really crappy news. My MRI was abnormal and showed small joint
effusion, bone contusion, disruption of the ACL and degeneration of the
meniscus, plus a tiny tear in the MCL. My PCP has referred me to an
orthopedic surgeion, who I will see on 12/16 to decide what to do about
it. So depressing. I was really hoping for an all-clear.
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING ladies,
So good to hear from everyone.
A huge welcome formydaughter..... A word of caution...I can be an instigator.....so....here I go. I asked everyone a long while back to let us know their first name...just seems more personal....sooooo if you would like to share I sure would like to know yours....no pressure
... You have come across the best women in the universe. Strong, loving, caring, supportive and honest...some great recipes also!Like Diane I didn't have chemo, so I have no advice on the SE's from enduring it, just I admire you and everyone else for taking it in stride as well as you do..Brava!!!
As far as dating, I have been married to my fabulous husband for 41/2 years. I am 58 yo....been married a couple of times before him. hmmmm...I am all for finding someone to spend one's life with... Just approach it with the knowledge that YOU are the PRIZE. That anyone would be extremely lucky to have YOU! I tell my husband that all the time...and he agrees...lol
Anne...I can't even fathom your travels. Wow! Good for you for having the energy to go through the airport stuff. Enjoy your family, it must be nice to be a grand ma. I am expecting sometime in 2015 I'll get the news that I will be one also...can't wait.
Diane, well the results from the MRI just stinks...stinks I tell Ya. I will research the the results, hopefully the surgeon can give you a good outcome...and the rehab will be minimal. You are strong and will overcome this.
mary, I would love a quiet Thanksgiving at my house...for once. I am cooking the bird, cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes with brown sugar, ginger, cinnamon, vanilla and pecans...yum, but will have to transport it to my in-laws. blah. I am thankful that I still have my in laws but....well, we would party more here. Oh well. have a great time at the cabin...still wanting pics....Oh and I bet the job interview went better than you think. Who in their right mind wouldn't want you?
Nice to hear from you Beverly, hope all is well.
laurie, Michelle? really miss you two. Blessings.
Again, Blessings and a wonderful Thansgiving to all.
truly grateful for all of you.
Peace,Eve
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Oh no Diane, what a concoction of injuries! So sorry to hear that. Are these sports-type injuries related to TKD? No wonder you have been in so much pain. I guess the good news is....it's not cancer. But still, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear
Take care hon!
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Thanks Mary. I did injure my left knee in TKD, however, my right knee doesn't feel much better, and I have hip and elbow pain that wasn't there before BC, so I think that the culprit is lack of hormones from initially being taken off HRT, then the AI's and finally Tamoxifen. I am thankful it isn't cancer, but it does suck big time. I should know more after I see the Ortho surgeon.
LOL Eve - I almost asked formydaughter her name myself, but figured you would get there! FMD - these are all nice ladies...just read some of the many posts!
BTW Eve, both my friend Tosha and I did start some research, but there are so many variables that I need more input from the surgeon. I'll let you know more when I have more info. I trust and appreciate your research skills my friend!
Beverly - Happy Thanksgiving. Nice to hear from you.
I'm officially done at the office, and am heading out to get the last ingredients for my pies for tomorrow, so will sign off. Enjoy without guilt!!
Diane.
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I'm Katie, my new friends. Happy Thanksgiving!
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smiling just reading these last posts:)
Eve, I get to have Thanksgiving at my house tomorrow. Hubby is out with his BF and bro, dd is home with me back from college And I just broke out a cab while i do my prep work. Diane, thinking of you all the while:)
Anne, I sooooo miss traveling. Your stamina is impressive. Enjoy all you kiddos.
Love you all-- happy Thanksgiving however you celebrate. And, forget about the scale. You all deserve better then that!
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Hi all. I have been so busy I have not posted in forever. I have missed you all and think I have caught up on all your posts.
So massage therapy has given me 95% of my mobility back on the radiated side. yeah!
I am tolerating Tamoxifen well except for a rash that comes and goes. Added Effexor to help decrease night sweats and hot flashes and it is working fairly good. Trying to decide if I will take Metformin as a preventative measure.
I went back to work Nov 10th, I am. Neonatal ICU nurse so no heavy lifting. I was off for 18 months so glad to be back. My brain is working great so easy to be back.
Linda
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Welcome to the crew Katie! Happy thanksgiving. I've been Mia for some time now. Between working full time- 19 kindergarteners and 5 with behavior issues I'm BEAT!!! After working a full day I'm either running to basketball, baseball, cheer, gymnastics or girl scouts so I don't have much me time.
I'm now prepping for a formal observation from my principal- talk about stress!!! I'm still not sleeping, unless I take melatonin and even taking it every day there's 1-2 says I week that I get less than 4 hours sleep. Oh well... Happy thanksgiving! Good luck with your consult Diane! I hope the treatment to elevate the pains will be minimal and successful.0 -
Hi my sisters! Gosh I've been so busy with work only get to check posts once a week and never have time to write. Well as we are quickly coming up on our year cancerversary I am thinking about possibly another surgery. This is weighing on me heavily!! It's not a surgery to remove cancer, thank God so I've been debating on whether I should go through it. Another reason why I'm debating it is the last time I met with my ps I walked out pissed! She offended me and was annoyed that I would waste her time to question whether there was a problem with my implants- or at least that's how I felt. She told me to set up an appt to have a pre surgery conference and we'd "fix" it with fat graphing. I was just pissed because the pa told me everything was fine, but yes I do see some changes; flattening and swelling. Then I asked to see the dr. The dr came in and stood 2 inches from my face and said what u don't like what Caitlyn has to say?! I was like well I wanted your opinion, you're my dr! As I was showing her where I was questioning she didn't even look down just kept her eyes on mine and interrupted me w I agree w Caitlyn! I said but is the swelling and flattening normal? She just repeated without looking, I agree w Caitlyn. She said make an appt for 2 months to consult about fat graphing and walked out of the room. I left the room. The receptionist was like ok do u want to make the appt for 2 months? I said no and just walked out. A few weeks ago I contacted the insurance because I've been having pain and wanted to get bras that have more support. They said they cover $600 a year. So I found a place an hr away from my home and I when I spoke with the owner she said shed need a script from my dr. I called my dr and spoke to the receptionist and explained I found a place I am comfortable w that has a woman who fits you and all etc etc. it's a post mastectomy shop!! I asked if they could mail me a script. A week later I got the script filled out for prosthetics!!! I was like are u flipping g kidding me?!? Wth is this!!! It also was written out a medical store in another town. I called the dr back after I calmed down a bit and the receptionist said just mark what u want. I asked about the place it's written out for. I told her I said I found a place I feel comfortable w I don't want to go to the one it says on your script. Plus my insurance covers the one I line, I don't know if they cover this one. She said go where u want try to use the script if you can't call me back! What?! Why can't u just fill out the script the way I asked?!? Anyway- with this tension I'm a bit nervous to consult about yet another surgery. I've thought about switching ps but I'm nervous about that too!! My bs and ps are in the same town as each other and work closely with each other. What if cancer comes back? Ugh I hate the stress of all this?! The reason I want fat graphing is an indenting from lumpectomy and this flattening I have one the cancer side. Apparently they took ALOt of tissue from this side so it's like caved in a bit. I'd like it fixed to match the other side. Plus the cancer side droops down more than other so making alloderm or fixing the pocket will help that. I hate that I am almost talking myself out of this because I don't want to deal w the ps.... Any advice? Feedback?! Also, let's say worst case scenario- how long would I need off for healing if I have fat graphing and pocket work? I reach kindergarten... I was hoping to have it down on April break which is about a week off. Is that enough time?! I really don't want to kill another summer with surgeries!! My kids are begging me to swim with them again lol
I've also been having quite a bit if pain in both breasts but more in cancer side. My exchange was in June. I had an infection in non cancer side in August. My ps said this pain is normal- get used to it! Is it always going to be like this?! Sometimes it feels like someone is pushing their pointer finger through my breast! Other times it feels like that zapping nerve pain. Is it normal this far out? Will I have it forever?0 -
Beverly,
OMG, your doctors and their offices sounds terrible. His behavior was unprofessional and just plain mean! I don't think any one of us would ever let our hairdresser, grocer, dentist, therapist, contractor or any other person we use for services treat us like that. Right? At least I hope not! We'd just walk away and take our business elsewhere. If it were me, I'd ask for my records and never go back. I left my original BS and clinic for several reasons - there were just too many to ignore. The clinic where I go now is wonderful. It's a 3 hour drive, but it's totally worth it. I love my team. And although I do have to admit my PS is very snarky, he does have his moments. I know it's hard to stand up to a doctor and tell others when we are treated badly. I have been there, too. It's almost like an abusive relationship. But as survivors we MUST be treated with respect. We have gone through so much and do not deserve that kind of treatment. I hope you can walk away and find another place that treats you with not just common courtesy but exceptional customer service. Because in a sense you ARE a consumer and depending on your insurance, you can choose who you want to give your business to. Good luck!
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Beverly, no advice from me having not joined the squishy side yet. However, I have alloderm and no sagging with these expanders and I really have not had any pain since the fills ended. I agree with Mary, your Dr office sounds horrific. Maybe a second opinion is in order before you make any decisions.
Linda, so good to hear from you! Glad you are back to work and the fog has lifted. My fog is returning with rads but I know this fatigue is short term.
Can I ask where your rash is? I have a terrible rash on my radiated side. I assumed radiation dermatitis but now I wonder if it is tamoxifen related? pM me if you are interested in joining our closed FB group. Same to the rest of you!
As a result I am supposed to avoid sweating which will exacerbate the rash, redness and itching. So, I guess I am relegated to leisurely walks for the rest of 2014. How are you doing, Diane?
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Oops, forgot to say HI to Linda! Glad to hear you are doing well!
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Hi Katie (waving) !
Beverly, new doctor for sure....No advice on the grafting....very personal decision. I will say that if I had had insurance I would have had new implants and if needed the grafting. I could use the grafting now, but it is not worth the expense. I too still have pain. Last night was insane, TMI alert, hubby touched my cancer side boob and I yelled in pain. :P. felt as if a nerve was being pulled out through my nipple. Holy cow. I still ache where the drains were. Don't know...Thank goodness it is not constant...may just have to live with it.
hey Linda, your pic on FB is fabulous. I would love to see your hair with its curls. I have suggested Metformin to my docs, but haven't gotten a response. I will try again in feb at my next appointment. Glad you are getting back to normal.
hey Diane, how were those pies? My turkey was perfect. I was so proud...clap,clap. I think it was extra tasty and moist this year because we purchased a minimally processed, hormone free butterball. Go figure, just pure bird seasoned by me! yum.
Also, no one was grumpy at Thanks Giving this year. YAY! Lots of laughing....'bout time.
When do you see the surgeon? Thinking about you.
Miss mary, are you up at the cabin still?
Y'all have a good Tuesday.
love
Eve
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Read this!
Wonderful news...fingers crossed.
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Hi Eve - I'm back home now. We were only at the cabin for the holiday weekend. So sorry to hear about your nerve pain. What does your doc say about it? Yesterday I had another 3 month follow up with at my oncologist's office. I have some soreness, numbness and occasional nerve pain underneath my non cancer foob by the incision. The NP says it's most likely muscular pain from scar tissue. I also have some little bumps I can feel underneath the skin on that breast in the center. She sent me down for an ultrasound. The radiologist says it's calcifications - probably in reaction to the implants. Just my body's way of saying, hey, this is foreign stuff here! The soreness by my incision isn't bad and I don't feel it all the time, but still - wish it wasn't there. My clinic doesn't do scans or blood work, but everything appears to be a-okay. So far, so good!
) Can you believe our one year cancerversaries are coming up soon? I'm getting pumped up for that!!Thanks for the link on the vaccine. Maybe this is the new frontier? My NP mentioned something about a vaccine clinical trial. She has me on a list for trials I might qualify for, including the vaccine one, but I don't know much about it.
Hope everyone is doing okay. I suppose you all have your trees up and decorated
. Our holidays are always low key and this year especially. DH's mom is in the nursing home after a fall. My mom is not recovering from her fall. She sleeps all the time and doesn't want to eat or get up and walk. We have been hand feeding her. So sad. My heart breaks for her. One good thing - she still retains her sense of humor, and loves to listen to music. Last night I put in a Tony Bennett CD singing "My Funny Valentine" and she fell asleep to it. Take care all!
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Hi Linda and Beverly! Glad you both are back.
Katie - Welcome to our group! You had your BMX on my birthday, so I guess I won't forget to say happy anniversary.
I see my BS on 1/6/15 for my 6 mo. check up. LOL, not sure what I was thinking when I made that appointment, but I like her, so I guess it's okay. Eve - Sorry for the late reply...this week has been a whirlwind! My pies came out well, the pumpkin is hard to mess up, since it's a fantastic and easy recipe that I've been making for nearly 40 years. The Carmel Apple Pie is more difficult and had to much liquid last year, but I nailed it this time, so I was very pleased. Tonight I'm making a Dark Chocolate and Peppermint Whipped Cream Tart for our TKD holiday potluck tomorrow night. I would love to cook with you some time. I'll bet that turkey was fabu!
I see the ortho surgeon on 12/16. I tried to get in sooner, but so far, no cancellations.
I've been debating whether to share with you ladies about what went on at Thanksgiving. All I can say is please try not to look inward too much as I share this. It was a difficult day. My brother-in-law's parents were there at my mom's house. I've known them 20+ years and like them both. The MIL walked in an announced that she had just had surgery to have her ovaries and the tumors that had formed, although they turned out to be benign, so she would not be helping with anything. She also said that she and her DH were going to celebrate 50 years of marriage this summer, and want to take the whole family (on them) to Hawaii to celebrate...all good, right? Well, some history on the MIL is that she had BC about 4-5 years ago, but didn't tell ANY of us, including my BIL until AFTER all of her treatment was done. I think she only told us then because she was sporting a wig and wanted to see us for Mother's Day. I know she had lumpectomy, radiation and chemo, but have no other details because she was very private about it. So at some point my BIL asks her why she didn't tell him she was having surgery, and jokingly asked if he would hear the end was near for her after she passed or if she would give him some warning. She asked him if he would want to know, and when he said yes, she told him she has stage 4 cancer. Boom. I guess she had a mini stroke and when they did a brain scan which came out fine relating to the stroke, they found she had mets in her neck. She also has congestive heart failure, so treatment is out, and she could have as little as 2 years left. My poor BIL. He started crying when he told me and I just hugged him tight for a long time. Of course I told her I'm there for her, whatever she needs, and she locked eyes with my and squeezed my hand in solidarity. It was simply awful. At any rate. prayers for Gail please.
I'm also waiting to hear tomorrow how my friend Leslie is doing. She is 12+ years out from BMX and found lumps. Her MRI was yesterday and she has an appointment with her oncologist tomorrow to get the results. Prayers for her too.
Sorry to dump all this sorrow. I just know you all understand and it helps just knowing that. It really sucks that I can't kick it out this time. Stupid knee!
Well, my crust is chilled, so I best be getting on with the tart, so I can finish and pour myself a nice glass of cab. Cheers to all of you!
Love,
Diane.
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Prayers for both Gail and Leslie. Always seems to be more bad news around the holidays. Each person and their family is so different in how they approach cancer. I remember when back in the 70's, my aunt was diagnosed with "female" cancer, and I was not allowed to visit her after her Dx. I was in my early 20's, married and had one child. My mother didn't want any of her children to watch a loved one die I guess. What made it even harder was that she lived in the next building and we were always in and out of her apt. Even with me, my DD#3 has not told her kids (9 & 5) that I had cancer. She has told them I was very sick, and I think they know I lost my hair, but she will not allow us to use the word "cancer" around them. My being in Ga for all the treatment made that a lot easier.
I don't know if it has hit the national news but there was a shooting locally. A man came in to an office, asked if a woman was there. They told him she was running late that day so he waited by the door. As soon as she drove up, with a man in the car with her the guy opened fire on her. He hit her at least 5 times in the chest and head, then pulled her out of the car and pistol-whipped her. He hit the passenger once, but that guy was able to get out of the car and ran across the street to an urgent care place to call for help. Unfortunately, he did not survive the one hit. There is no word on the condition of the woman. The reason I am mentioning all of this is because my exSIL's sister works with the girl. If she hadn't been late, this shootings could have taken place in the office, and who knows how many more could have been killed. Since my son and neighbor both work in the ER the lady was taken to, Missy asked Tracy if she could find out how the lady was doing. Neither Tim or Dave were working when it happened. When Tim got home last night his response was they had 8 shooting victims that day, he didn't know which one he was checking on. Dave was a little more informative. He said the FBI is involved, the hospital is swamped with cops and FBI people and they are all under a gag order about the incident. Tracy asked if he could just confirm if she was dead or alive, and he said all he could say was that she was still at the hospital. I said that's no help, she could be in the morgue. When the shooter was brought in front of the judge, he was so incoherent, and fell asleep when the judge was talking to him. The judge told them to take him away and bring him back sober. It took over 24 hrs to catch him. I think he carjacked 5 cars. And he is a convicted felon who just got out from a ten year sentence on Sat.
I am very confused with life right now. The kid that was killed in Ferguson had robbed a store, and, according to the cop involved was very aggressive and the cop thought his life was in danger. I am certainly not happy that the kid died, but he caused the circumstances that led to his death. Then we have the guy in NY, selling individual cigarettes, on tape, showing no visible signs of any aggressive or threatening behavior,and all of a sudden there are 4 or 5 cops on him, one doing a choke hold, even when the man is saying he can't breathe, and there isn't even an indictment? Who are we as a society? And the rioting- when did that become an accepted way of protest? Looting- maybe for food, diapers, water in extreme conditions, but destroying stuff just to destroy it? What happens to the store and car owner after the riots? Even if insurance covers the damage, we all know it never covers the full value.
Well, I guess no matter what happens, life goes on, and I need to get on with my day.
TGIF
Anne
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Diane
I can understand why you hesitated to share that, but yes, we understand. Sending hugs to you and hope for strength for your MIL and the family. And wishing all the best of outcomes for your friend Leslie. How very sad that in this day and age there still is no cure for breast cancer. So much work needs to be done. Vaccines, new drugs and genomic tests hold promise for the rest of us in the future, but in the meantime....all we can do is hang on. I really do hate this disease.
At my 3 month follow up I grilled my NP for any kernel of hope for anything I can do to prevent recurrence. She just said I've done everything right and encouraged me to take part in clinical trials. Most days I don't let fear rule my life, but I'd be lying if I said I don't think of breast cancer every day. But I've come to a place of acceptance. The Renewing Life retreat I went on really helped me with that. I know how to turn around negative thoughts and do what I can to live my life to the fullest or at least, the way I want to - within reason, of course. If I had my way I'd move to Tahiti or someplace warm and never go back to Minnesota, lol!
Alzheimer's is another dreaded disease that no one wants. Seeing mom go through it has been another very difficult road. It's a lot like cancer - sooner or later you just realize all you have are moments. Very small moments of time that you have to enjoy NOW instead of later. In my case, Alzheimer's has torn our little family apart and unfortunately my mom's experience at the facility where she's at has been horrible. We are thinking about a lawsuit due to some events that have taken place there. One lawyer says we have a good case for abuse and neglect. My poor mother has suffered so much. It's a long story. All I can say is it's been very difficult these past 6 months.
Of course I cannot imagine what it's like for those struggling with metastatic cancer. It hits families and friends just as much. What can you do? The fear is always there. But I choose to listen to my providers who tell me to Be Hopeful, Happy and Celebrate your triumph over cancer! You did everything right, etc. I try like crazy to make sure I am being true to myself, being my authentic self at all times, spending my time wisely, and appreciating my loved ones - as much as possible. Those are things within my control and that's a lot.
Anne, I wondered the same things lately as I watched the protest riots and recent events on TV. And yes, lots of shocking events hit way too close to home. Most days I'm just grateful to be safe and warm with a roof over my head and food in the frig. Many things to be thankful for this year and I hope to celebrate them with those I love.
HUGS to all!
xoxoxo
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great post Mary!
blessings
Eve
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Thank you all for your support. Leslie's MRI was inconclusive. They couldn't see anything, but since they can feel it, she is going to go to a breast surgeon, possibly for a needle biopsy. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic, and she seemed to be much more relaxed tonight, which was wonderful to see.
Mary, all I can say is that once again you lifted me up with your words. With everything you have gone through, I'm in complete amazement at your strength. I'm going to continue to look for the silver linings in my life and hold on to those moments, and letting go of worry. We've all done our very best to slay this beast, and while it is important to deal with what we went through emotionally and physically, we need to learn to trust our bodies again.
Anne - Thank you for your support. It does seem like things are a little nuts in the world. I'm so thankful that the gunman never went inside.
Eve - can't wait to read about that vaccine when I finally get a moment.
Long day with my firm holiday luncheon (fabulous food at a great restaurant), followed by a TKD potluck and home to clean the house to get ready for my son's b-day party tomorrow. My son told me that our home needs to be "perfect". LOL, I will do my best!. I still have a bunch to do before noon tomorrow, including running out the in a.m. to pick up the cake and balloons, but have run completely out of gas for tonight.
I hope you all enjoy your weekend!
Love and hugs,
Diane.
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Hi ladies. Having a pretty emotional morning and as I thought no one understands I corrected myself because I know you ladies do. I just still can't believe I was diagnosed! I was feeling myself this morning thinking I should be grateful huh? These don't feel not look real, I was diagnosed with cancer, I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself! My breast, well my mounds created by silicon sacs don't look like my god given breasts. My scars remind me of the diagnosis, surgery, hell I went through but wait I should be grateful! Grateful it wasn't invasive, grateful it only took my breast tissue but I have what resembles breasts... I should be grateful that when I had my hysterectomy they didn't find ovarian and shouldn't be upset that I zero libido anymore and it's causing problems in my marriage. I should be grateful that my drs cut out the cancer and put these silicon mounds inside me to resemble breasts do I look normal to outsiders even though now when I have a concern if I call my dr she thinks I'm paranoid!!! I'm just having a very sucky morning!!!! Thank u for allowing me to vent!! I know here I won't be judged0
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Beverly: I AM, and will continue to be very grateful, because I realize how lucky I was to have been diagnosed so early and not have lymph node involvement, which saved me from chemo and rads. HOWEVER, as my PCP told me a few weeks ago, just because it could have been worse, doesn't mean it doesn't suck. An old friend stopped by last night who also happens to be a psychologist. We've been friends for 30+ years now, so when she asked how I was feeling, I didn't hold back the way I usually do. She says that I'm now experiencing grief. Having had 3 surgeries and my life upended, I'm now looking for a path back to the life I had, only to find that I'm on a different path. I have to let go of the idea that things can be the same and move forward toward my new normal. No on is saying that this will be easy. My best and only advise is for you to get some counseling with a therapist that works with breast cancer patients, so you can work through this with someone who will help guide you on that path. It isn't much help, but I constantly remind myself that I made these choices so I have a fighting chance to be with my son for the next 30 or so years, and see the man he will become. Some days that works better than others.
I also picked up "The Silver Linings", that book that Ann (at least I think is was Ann) recommended so long ago. In the recovery section she talks about the difficulties of moving forward after you are supposed to be "done". She says that she actually felt a loss at the end of chemo and radiation, because she no longer felt safe and missed the routine, even though she knew she should be happy, and struggled to get her footing. I think what we are feeling is normal.
For me, TKD was my anchor, and without it, I'm struggling to maintain my balance and a positive outlook. Yesterday, my good knee started hurting really badly, so I was hobbling around like a cripple at my son's birthday party like an old lady. It is better this morning, but I will now have to ask the surgeon to look at both of them and see what he can do for me. I think we will all have an adjustment period in 2015. I'm very thankful that I have you ladies in my life. You are all the true silver lining!
Love and hugs,
Diane.
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So many great posts of late from such wise women. Glad to have you in my life. Won't be much of a post since I over did it today making candied almonds, nut and bolts and a yummy chicken dish for dinner in the oven so now I am pooped!
More to come from me on the musings of finishing treatment.....I will save for later when I can remember the words and not garble them up!
Xoxo,
Ann
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We went to an open air concert last evening that was put on by the Florida Symphony Youth Orchestra. It was wonderful. The concert was held in downtown Orlando on Lake Eola. There were hundreds of people and dogs, including ours, all enjoying the excellent music and community joy in the coming Christmas/Holiday season. Just a wonderful air of peace. Now, in the last year or so I have declined going just about anywhere aside from the dog park and Sam's Club. Nate asked me if I would like to go to the concert, expecting I would say NO again. I decided it was time to start saying YES!!! I put on Full makeup and did my hair, woah! lol I haven't looked that good in a year. I wasn't a cancer survivor, I wasn't thinking about my next scan, test, Dr. visit. I was just me....
We came home and watched "Polar Express" I highly recommend it....it is a Christmas tradition for us. Another message about BELIEVING.
Home For Christmas.......and "Its a Wonderful Life" are also on my list.
This next narrative was read at the concert. It is from the movie " Miracle on 42nd ST" Another favorite.
We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:
Dear Editor—
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
Virginia O'Hanlon
115 West Ninety Fifth StreetVirginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. (or Janurary Sisters) There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence.
We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! He lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
-----------------
"Is There a Santa Claus?" reprinted from the September 21, 1897, number of The New York Sun
Here is the deal...yes, we have been through some awful stuff in the last year. It has brought us down to our bare souls and continues to color our lives. The reason I deleted my post above was that it didn't serve to be uplifting, not for me and not for you. I was angry....but you all don't need to know all of my crap. I do want you all to know that Diane....I am praying for gail and Leslie. My heart goes out to them. The same goes for you Mary with thoughts and prayers for your MIL and Mom.I think of you ladies everyday. I also know that if one waits long enough,and gets some help that things DO turn around and joy will return.
lol....something rather funny. I dyed my hair tonight. Bought the box yesterday...without my glasses....OMG!!! Not a good idea. My hair looks as if it was dunked in a vat of Cabernet, only a bit more PURPLE!!! lol...Oh well, I am just going to go with the GLOW.
Hope I wasn't being too preachy...I truly love you ladies.
Onward, upward to infinity and beyond
Eve
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Mommyathome
I am just back to work and have not seen many of my colleagues for 18 months. They all of course ask how I am doing. Like you I still get angry. These breasts are not mine, just borrowed! I am still scared of mets as I was stage 3A. I have 2 friends dying of mets from breast cancer. I am supportive and kind but want to run screaming from the building.
People ask if I am back to normal, what is normal? I am a new me, missing parts and some new parts. I would like to think stronger and braver but I still cry. I think I will always be processing this last 18 months.
Linda
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Big hugs to you Linda! I lost my aunt to breast cancer a few years back. She was diagnosed the same month as my mom. My aunts cancer was triple negative and spread throughout her body. My mom is doing well. I also lost my grandma and great aunt to ovarian cancer a few years ago. I have a cousin in her early forties with breast cancer that has traveled to her bones. She is doing trial medicines to try to stop it. It's just an evil thing that creeps up on you and even when it's cut out or you have chemo and radiation and are told its gone it still is a part of you: your thoughts and fears! Some days I'm ok and others not so much. I have a friend who was diagnosed with lung cancer last year. I saw him this weekend and he congratulated me on my year ( I found out I had cancer on dec 4) . I thanked him and we hugged. I asked how he was doing. He said good how about you? I said I'm stressed, tired from not sleeping. He said yeah me too I just usually tell everyone I'm good. Sometimes I don't want to put up the front. But sometimes when I open up to people their reaction pisses me off!! I guess at some point I'll just be happy with myself and not care what their reaction is but sometimes I look to find somehow who understands... Or at least try cares.0
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Topic: Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Forum: Older than 60 Years with Breast Cancer — Meet other women who are similar in age and dealing with age-appropriate issues.
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Posted on: Feb 7, 2009 06:29PM
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MA
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 89
Northstar wrote:
I am an "older" woman with breast cancer (I was diagnosed at 65 and am now 66). I notice that most of the posts seem to be from people younger than I am (often by quite a bit...). I'd love to "talk" with others my age, exchange info about their diagnoses, effects on their lives, etc. I see that there is a forum for young women.
Someone suggested that maybe it's that older people aren't so computer-savvy or aren't used to being in online discussion groups. However, for those who are, it would be great.
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carolehalst…
Madisonville, LA
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 3,054
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18 hours ago carolehalston wrote:
We woke up this morning to cooler air and the muggies gone. Tonight we're enjoying a fire in our fireplace. We have never regretted switching from wood to gas.
Greetings to all.
Nipple-Sparing BMX w/Alloderm & Silicone Implants 7/24/09, Oncotype Dx 9, No Chemo, No Rads, Arimidex
Dx 6/25/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Teacher64
Texas
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 729
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15 hours ago Teacher64 wrote:
mommarch - prayers for your daughter
I could have swiped my finger across the cake with chocolate frosting! Enjoy your special day, Val and Sandy.
We went to my husband's company Christmas party. It was in a very nice place but the music was just noise and so loud we couldn't talk at the table. We finally went out on the patio with some other "old timers" and had a nice time chatting. As we were leaving, I overheard a couple probably in their 30s say the music was too loud. My DH and I looked at each other and said, "It wasn't just the oldies!"
Today we went to a friend's open house. As we left, I asked how long it took her to decorate for Christmas and she said a week. Everything was decorated, even the bathrooms! It was even a bit much for me and I love Christmas. It was a nice quiet time to talk with friends. I was so glad to gets to go because last Christmas was all about getting rid of bc.
This week I'm going to be in cookie mode. I love to make and give them away. The house will smell good, but the sweets won't be around to add to my hips
Dx 11/11/2013, DCIS, 5cm, Stage I, Grade 3, ER+/PR+
Surgery 12/16/2013 Mastectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal (Right); Prophylactic Mastectomy (Left); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Both)
Surgery 03/18/2014 Reconstruction: DIEP flap (Both)
Surgery 07/30/2014 Reconstruction: Nipple reconstruction (Both)
Teka
Essex County, NY USA
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,699
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14 hours ago Teka wrote:
How did it get so late so soon?
It's night before it's afternoon.
December is here before it's June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?
~Dr. Seuss
Miminiemi
Iowa USA
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 318
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13 hours ago Miminiemi wrote:
Blondie so sorry about shingles. Loved meeting Sandra and hearing her exciting news about surgery six. Aren't we all odd to celebrate an upcoming surgery. Duct tape looks clever and I can affirm she is one clever gal. I'll get the picture up tomorrow when I have a real computer at home. Spent time today in KANSAS City . Sleeping at Jan's house tonight. Home tomorrow morning! PA the picture I have is not fuzzy.
You don't have to be tall to see the moon.
Dx 12/12/2013, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Radiation Therapy External
Surgery 12/20/2013 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)
Radiation Therapy 01/29/2014 External
Hormonal Therapy 02/20/2014 Arimidex
blondiex46
Folcroft (outside Philadelphia), PA
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,918
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11 hours ago blondiex46 wrote:
Jackie thank u so much 4 the quote, for some reason it made me cry. It was like u were only talking to me...
It is monday already
Yep in case i havent said it shingles suck, just like cancer, there is no comparison, they just both suck
Teka thinking of u
Original 8/96 - 1cm, chemo, rads. Recurr..9/09...Mets to lungs, chest wall, lymph nodes under arm & chest, cervical & lumbar spine, ribs, hip. Femera, Falsodex, Zometa, Xeloda, Gemzar,Taxotere, Adriamycin,Havalen.WENT OFF CHEMO 7/20/14
Dx 9/1/2009, 3cm, Stage IV, ER+/PR-, HER2-
Joan811
Long Island NY, NY
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,299
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11 hours ago Joan811 wrote:
Here I am 5 pages behind again....but I have to keep up because this is the best darned thread I've found here...with the most amazing, smart, funny, caring and yes, zany ladies.
I see a few belated BD wishes from last week...thanks again...do I have to add more years? eat more cake?
Today was a good day - I went to the Christmas Show in NYC with 3 DDs and 6 grandkids...my favorite thing....it was quite the rendezvous from DC and CT, Long Island and Boston... but we were all seated when the show started. I felt happy and content and very filled with Christmas spirit and love for my kids and just about everybody ... Radio City Christmas Show is one last holiday show that celebrates the traditional meaning....ending with a live nativity including grandiose processions of kings and lambs, camels, and donkeys on stage. It is nice to not see the season sanitized of the traditions and cultural celebrations of Christmas...whether one is religious or not, it is a wondrous story.
When I got home from NY, DH had put up some lights outside. The season has arrived.
Ten of us went out to lunch...it was hard to say "bye" at the end of the day. Wish they didn't live so far!
Bed time for me....long day on Monday. I will be reading back and catching up.
Thanks to all who drop by here, and especially Jackie who is faithful to post encouragement every day.
Hugs!
Courage is not choosing to be brave; it is standing firm in the face of adversity when choice is limited.
Dx 7/20/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Hormonal Therapy Femara
Surgery 08/30/2011 Lumpectomy (Left)
Radiation Therapy 11/30/2011 External
IllinoisLad…
Centralia, Il
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 13,845
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3 hours ago IllinoisLady wrote:
An excellent way to practice love is to set your intention on seeing
beyond someone's behavior or personality. Try to realize that
beneath the surface insecurity, negative thinking, and poor
behavior, everyone is connected to God. Just as you wouldn't
get angry at someone simply because he or she is in a wheelchair,
you need not be angry because a person hasn't yet opened his or
her heart to the nourishment of his or her Soul. When people act
in unloving ways, it only means that they are out of touch with
their Souls and aren't feeling spiritually nourished.
Richard Carlson
Each day I am thankful for nights that turned into mornings, friends that turned into family, dreams that turned into reality and likes that turned into love. ~~~Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross
Dx 9/27/2007, IDC, 5cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
IllinoisLad…
Centralia, Il
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 13,845
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2 hours ago IllinoisLady wrote:
Ah Blondie and Joan,
You are putting a little mist behind my eyes. The reason behind putting in a quote daily is that we all need a lift of some kind. I could get very wordy about it all, but I'll just say that since every second we live ( while a tiny part of the one just before and having a small tiny part of the one coming just after ) is totally unique. We are not likely able ( it would be so boring anyway ) ever to feel quite the same about anything including things that are almost always totally alike for us. Because it is happening over again in a totally new and as yet, un-lived moment in time.
Sensations about things will be different and needs will be different and reactions will be different. So, one day something will really touch you because that part of your soul is what is un-covered and open at that very moment. I feel very alive and worth something if I'm able to make you feel your own perfection -- the part of you that is special and wonderful and meaningful -- the part of you that I know will make me a better person too.
We are not in the world alone -- and doing what you can --- even if just a smile for a stranger, lifts us all a little higher.
Joan,
I did want to say too ---sometimes, if we don't have pre-conceived notions about how something will go --- it goes in the most amazing ways. We are covered in warmth and unity having a really magnificent time because we are all of ONE mind more so than at other times. The time together is full of love and joy because we have left behind all differences so that we can simply just BE.
Teka,
As always, you put in such neat graphics and I love Dr. Seuss wisdom. He and Mr. Rodgers, and a few others like that are great teachers for us, aren't they !!!
Mimi,
I'll be anxious to see your un-fuzzy picture. You are such a great traveler. Loved the statement of "having" a real computer to be on at home. Just reminds me that the few times that there is reason ( I sure try my best to avoid it too ) for me to be on Dh's lap-top just drives me up the wall. I do feel like a fish out of water. My hands don't fit the key-board and I have to look for the keys ( like esc ) that do things. I am definitely a creature of habit.
Carole,
Sounds like you are almost getting 'great' weather for golf. Just a touch on the cooler side. I consider any time there is no humidity as a fantastic time.
I am still amazed at how tired and worn out I can get almost 7 months after finishing treatment. I had a busy weekend, but nothing strenuous. Fri night, my GD sang in the chorus during the town's annual "light up" ceremony. We went straight to the performance, and I was even able to get a seat on the small bleachers area. We took some pictures afterward, then headed home- didn't even walk thru the lights and booths. Then Sat, I went to my son's basketball fund raiser. Again, I sat in the bleachers and cheered him on. Even with a former NBA player, as well as another guy who played professionally overseas, plus some other really great players, they lost. Last year, they took top prize. Good lesson for them- they thought they were so good, they didn't need to practice- individually, they are each way above average, but they had no clue how to play as a team. I then brought 2GC home for the night. I had to run to Walmart for underwear and PJ's for them, but they are old enough to take care of themselves with some supervision, so I didn't have to bathe them or fix snacks etc.Then yesterday, I went to a beautiful park on a gorgeous day to celebrate GS's bday. Sat in a chair visiting with his other grandmother.
I was so exhausted that I slept till noon today. Will I ever get my energy back? And although I did nothing physical , I ached all over, especially my upper chest area.
Really glad I had to go buy the GC's stuff Sat night, though. I always have a few outfits for them here for many reasons. But, being in Ga for so long, they have outgrown what I have here. I asked my daughter what sizes they are now, and bought some clothes for them last week, some for Kayden for his birthday, some for both for Christmas. None of it would have fit. I bought Kayen size 6 underwear and he couldn't keep them up they were so big. And I had bought Victoria some size 10 leggings - they were more like tights- they covered her whole foot and were still baggy at the knees. I know my daughter likes to buy ahead in sizes, but I need to shop "real-time" because they are to be worn now, not next year.
So my job for today, if I choose to accept it, is to return all the clothes I have already bought. Thank Goodness, nothing had been wrapped yet.
Till later,
Anne
Dx 9/25/2013, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 3/9 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+
Radiation Therapy External
Targeted Therapy 10/04/2013 Herceptin
Targeted Therapy 10/04/2013 Perjeta
Chemotherapy 10/10/2013 Taxotere
Surgery 01/28/2014 Mastectomy (Both); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)
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Hi all,
Linda and Beverly, your latest posts reflect so closely exactly how I am feeling.
I am still amazed at how tired and worn out I can get almost 7 months after finishing treatment. I had a busy weekend, but nothing strenuous. Fri night, my GD sang in the chorus during the town's annual "light up" ceremony. We went straight to the performance, and I was even able to get a seat on the small bleachers area. We took some pictures afterward, then headed home- didn't even walk thru the lights and booths. Then Sat, I went to my son's basketball fund raiser. Again, I sat in the bleachers and cheered him on. Even with a former NBA player, as well as another guy who played professionally overseas, plus some other really great players, they lost. Last year, they took top prize. Good lesson for them- they thought they were so good, they didn't need to practice- individually, they are each way above average, but they had no clue how to play as a team. I then brought 2GC home for the night. I had to run to Walmart for underwear and PJ's for them, but they are old enough to take care of themselves with some supervision, so I didn't have to bathe them or fix snacks etc.Then yesterday, I went to a beautiful park on a gorgeous day to celebrate GS's bday. Sat in a chair visiting with his other grandmother.
Yet I was so exhausted I slept till noon today. These are all things I used to do without even thinking about it. Am I ever going to fell "normal" again. Will I ever be tired without my mind worrying that it is a sign? Will I ever be able to push thru the tiredness to help when needed, instead of sitting down, watching others do what I used to do? I know I am so blessed to be where I am and I am truly thankful - but where is the me I had been for 64 years? Will I ever see her again? I know I am a survivor, yet lots of times I still feel like a victim.
It is so good to have a place like this to vent. There is no one else that can understand my feeling blessed and yet terrified at the same time. Thankfully, most of the time I feel better and can see progress. Just wish it was all the time.
Anne
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Gentle hugs Anne!0
