STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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yes Lita, I was so sad to see a mother and an infant were killed when a tree went through their home. I wish that people would evacuate especially when children are involved. My cousin and her family left Mrytle beach a couple days ago. I fear their house which is next to the intercoastal waterway might have severe flood damage. I do feel fortunate.
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Often our emergency service members have a front row seat to the harshness of life and there are few people who understand the fleeting time we have here more than they. Go easy on your selves and easy on your neighbours. No one really knows how long we have here, but they know how quickly it all disappears. As a first responder I carry the memory of many deceased people around with me. This is not a burden but a blessing, to be able to understand how fragile life is. I find I slow down a lot more these days and appreciate the small wonders. Peace to you all.0
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I may get bashed for this. I hope not, but regardless I need to express my feelings. The ONE beautiful thing about a hurricane is that it doesn’t catch you off guard. You know days, sometimes weeks, in advance. I lived on the coast for several years and this alone gave me comfort. Having the knowledge of even the possibility of being in the path allowed me an opportunity to get my family to a safe place. I get really angry when people knowingly put themselves (or keep themselves) in dangerous situations. Especially if you have children. Yes, my heart goes out to those who lost their lives, but at the same time they KNEW this hurricane was coming. Why didn’t they leave? It’s not like a tornado, earthquake or tsunami where one minute your walking along, living your life and within seconds your life ends... I don’t mean to sound harsh, it’s still sad, I know.
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Amen, Sheila!
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Yes, Hurricanes. We at the Jersey Shore sometimes get a little jaded about them. It's hard to predict exactly where they are going to land, and how bad they're going to be. We're pretty tough; we're used to some local flooding, a few downed limbs, and power outages. I'm 1.25 miles from the ocean.
One of the families in my special needs group was in an area under mandatory evacuation. The mom loaded up the mini-van with everything they needed (medicine and clothes for x number of days, etc.) to ride out the hurricane and they went to the town shelter. Children were allowed so many toys as would fit in the van. Mom took a picture of some dolls the girl had to leave behind and posted on Facebook. The dolls were to guard the house until they got back.
Sadly, there was no house when they came back. I'm so grateful that the mom took the kids to the shelter and didn't try to ride out the storm. The mom was expecting some flooding, but never, ever, expected her house would be gone.
That was Hurricane Sandy, 2012. You just never know.
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For those that stayed and ignored the evacuation orders I agree. There are other areas that didn't have evac orders that are unexpectedly flooding with waters reaching unprecedented levels. After one of the previous hurricanes in N. Myrtle Beach blew a transformer that caught a neighboring condo complex on fire and spread to multiple neighboring complexes causing billions of $ of destruction (fire trucks couldn't get in due to flooding) they send out the evac orders, they deliberately cut the power off so the transformers can't blow and tell everyone that they will not be coming to rescue them if they don't leave. Knowing you absolutely will have 0 power for days and potentially weeks with 0 chance of rescue until the local government officially says its ok to return seems to be working down there.
They had on the news yesterday a whole segment on low income and working poor not evacuating because they didn't know anyone outside the evac zone, no money for gas, if work opened they would be fired for not coming in, they need to work to make money or they get evicted, they need to stay to protect their property as they have no way to replace it. An economics professor backed these claims up. Here’s my response: 1) you don't have to know anyone outside the evac zone - there are shelters open all over the state. 2) the state/local govt sent buses in to help those with no gas money to evac. 3) if your job opens and calls you in to work there's a problem and it's not the ones following the evac order. It should be law that if evac is ordered by state/local govt that businesses must abide and cannot reopen til evac is lifted. Job protection should be mandated by the state/local/fed govt protecting these individuals from being fired. 4) For the time you're in the shelter youre not paying for anything. Landlords should be required by law to give a grace period on rent when catastrophic event start occur in their area. And additional money making opportunities will present themselves post storm for cleanup. Even if you can't get home right away theres usually storm cleanup paying opportunities in the shelter area. 5) Put your property up as high as possible, pack what you can and take it with you. Get renters insurance. We lived in a 2 bedroom upscale apartment for 2 years - renters insurance was $9 a month. If your property isn't worth $9 a month, then it isn't worth losing your life over.
Rant over
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I only feel sorry for those who couldn't get out in time. Disabled, elderly, sick... what would be nice to hear about is neighbors pulling together beforehand and helping those sick, disabled, elderly get to shelters. Not just those in hospital and assisted living but in their own homes.
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Mustlove poodles, Don't have time to read through all the posts----very fast get him off the banking or anything else that has to do with your finances
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Lula--- many wise words.... MANY
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Our EOC (emergency operations center) gets a list of elderly, disabled etc. and sets up rides for them. I am sure they do not have everyone who needs them on the list though. I agree that neighborhoods need to make sure all can be safe. Nothing I own is worth my life or anyone elses.
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when my phone updated and google updated it now looks unfamiliar and I am so unhappy! How the heck do I find my stuff now?!?!?
Dang technology.
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I'm lost on what to do between surgery and the start of radiation, including who is going to complete my FMLA paperwork. Lots of questions with no one answering. No help from the surgeon's office. I thought I would try the oncologist and the social worker and had to leave voicemails. My nurse navigator is completely unresponsive. I just end up in tears and having a pity party!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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AML, will you be having chemo? I left my FMLA paperwork with my oncologist because chemo was a huge part of my treatment.
I would call the radiology office if you know that the next step is radiation. They should be able to give you your appointment or at least lead you to the right person.
Sorry I’m not much help. ((Hugs))
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AMLmom this is my first post (been lurking here since February) but I feel your frustration. The whole ordeal, especially my "nurse navigator", has been a complete shit show.
I came here to vent that at 3 am I am wide awake, regretting being talked out of the BMX I wanted. Yesterday I found a hard lump at the surgery site that felt just like my tumor. It was the emotional roller coaster I was hoping to avoid. Of course I can't call and talk to anyone, I used up my alloted number of questions during the first 2 weeks of my diagnosis. And the snippy little rad techs can't understand why I cry at treatment every day. "Because I have cancer, I'm sad, I'm scared to death, I'm here to lay naked and disfigured on your table, and nobody will help me"
*Editing to add: I guess lurking isn't the right term. This place has been my sole source of support for the last 8 months. All of you are amazing, and have unkowingly provided so much support, advice, hope, etc at every step along the way. I'm sure that's true for others who are reading here as well.
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Annabella2:
Can you discuss the lump with your BS or MO tomorrow?
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They said they're 99% sure its scar tissue. They could see me if I really wanted.......but really it's nothing to worry about. Really?? Every single thing is going to send me spiraling for the rest of my life. But as I've been told over and over, I just have to deal with it and worry about what I can control.
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Annabella2:
If it's distressing you I think they should biopsy it. Fingers aren't a substitute for pathology reports.
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Annabelle~ my first thought. If it's at a surgical area. Is fat necrosis. I just had one cut out myself. It was out patient and I was awake. It's hard and not really moveable, just like my original tumor had similarities! Dont panic! The fat cells don't always survive around the surgical areas. Take a deep breath. It is beyond common. Just have it looked at. My plastic surgeon was very reassuring and informative.. hugs to you ~M~
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This isn't something that I am horribly angry about. It's just something I am tired of. I was reading articles on breast cancer a while back, and while a lot of the authors only mentioned women (I disapprove), some of them were aware enough to mention men as well, and good for them as it should never be overlooked that men get breast cancer. But the thing that irked me was, one of them used the phrase "men and women". I know this is going to seem like small thing to a lot of people, and some might take issue with me even saying this, but I was irked that I as a female had to come second again, as a result of the built in sex bias of our society, even on a subject that predominantly pertains to females.
It got me thinking how ingrained it is for people to say "men and women" to the extent that saying "women and men" never occur to some people even when it would be more appropriate. I don't know how these type of things have affected most girls and women. I imagine most just shrug it off or accept it as the way things are but it has always made me feel second or like an after thought in society or like I wasn't really part of things or relevant or counted and I felt like I had to remind people I existed. Maybe these sentiments were exasperated by the fact that I spent most of my time others in male dominated environments and had little exposure to other females and what was going on in predominantly female realms.
I'm not a raging militant on these things. If people want to talk about men and women who play baseball or do woodworking or race cars, fine, because it is mainly men who do those things and I am "second", but I am tired of spending far more time in the backseat than the other half of humanity and to have someone try to stick me in the back seat on the subject of breast cancer was a bit much. Scoff if you will but that's just how I feel.
By the way, congratulations to the city of Melbourne for acknowledging that women also cross the street.
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Annabelle2 I'm sorry you're going through this too. Thank you so much for replying! I felt lost in this process. I'm sorry to hear that the rad techs aren't kinder. At this point I am also getting that vibe, no attention to the emotional side of all this. The social worker did return my call today and she was great to speak to. No one else returned my call, unbelievable.
I hope you find out soon what the lump is near your surgery site. Sending prayers and hugs!
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AMLmom - I'm so sorry I meant to come back and reply to you this morning, but then our power went out so I had to drive to the gas station for coffee. Priorities!! ;-)
What I wanted to share with you is that we had trouble with my husband's FMLA paperwork as well. He can't get time off without it (even though he works for the same hospital I'm being treated at). Anyway, we brought the whole packet to the first appointment with the BS. The nurse kindly said she'd get it all taken care of for us. Hubby even mentioned the due date since it was a very quick turnaround. Nurse says "Yep, I've got it".
Well several weeks later, hubby gets notified that all his FMLA has been denied because they never got the paperwork. We were both worried sick, because he was in danger of being fired which would be the loss of our primary income and my insurance. Anyway, I had chemo or something the next morning, so I go boldly in to the breast center aiting room and explained to the receptionist what happened. There were other patients in the waiting room and I did NOT use my inside voice. They wasted no time getting us back to a conference room, the nurse came in and said she "forgot" to send it in, but she would call the FMLA office and get it taken care of. I was livid. Still am actually. I had my MO write a letter to put in hubby's file so he couldn't get fired for someone else's mistake.
My whole point was - fill out as much as you can, insist that a nurse fill in what you don't know, refuse to leave without a signature, and turn the paperwork in to your employer yourself. Oncology & breast clinics everywhere are overworked and understaffed, and while I'm sure they mean well you definitely have to be your own advocate / healthcare / paperwork manager.
I actively avoided the medical setting for 39 years, and now I am absolutely astonished (disgusted?) by the lack of empathy, compassion, basic organization, honest communication, you name it. It has been a shi!t show from day 1. Honestly, if I were to have a recurrence I don't know that I would do any further treatment because of how awful it's been. I truly wish I had reached out on BCO months ago because I had no support, so feel free to PM me if you want to vent or have questions.
**I see my RO this afternoon so I will ask her about the lump. I cannot believe they would just let something like this slide. Especially after missing my cancer on mammo 10 months prior to this.
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Annabelle - I agree with what you're saying!!!
I think the lack of compassion - is something I've mainly faced from the mental health people. They say it's a "no judgment" zone. But, man do I ever feel like I'm being judged!!!
So...long-story-short - my 11 yr old DD is struggling with her first year of middle school. I wouldn't be so freaked out - if she hadn't struggled so much towards the end of 5th grade. I tell my psychiatrist about it. She suggests that DD visit their pediatric psychiatrist.
I pull DD out of school - to have her visit him. And, feel the ENTIRE time that I'm a bad mom, because she's too involved in sports. And, made to feel guilty - if I don't take her out of school - for THREE days to have special testing.
And, told she would be fired as a patient (that wasn't their words, but you know what I mean), if I didn't have her scheduled to come back - in 2 weeks. Even if that means - that I need to pull her out of school during the day and she misses math class (ironically she is struggling in math).
All the while - getting ready to have breast reconstruction surgery.
It seems that the mental health people (that I'm seeing) are really only interested in pushing their agenda....
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Yesterday we visited the family of my friend who passed from mbc triple neg on 20 March. They have come such a long way in such a short time and I continue to struggle with my own emotions. I almost backed out of going but decided that I would stop shielding myself and go. It was good. Brenda before she died had designed and orchestrated a Reno of their home and it is so beautiful. Their poor dog is 14 years young and struggles minute to minute. You can see that the two of them, father and daughter are also struggling, wrestling with the new reality, but committed to each other and moving forward. I am glad that i went despite my private tears. My daughter received a couple of Brenda's purses and tops, (she had great sense of style) and she wore one today. This whole journey of life is a process, and I'm lucky to be here.0
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Friday night one of my former students was killed in a horrific ATV accident. The funeral is Saturday. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through. He was in my class for 5 years in elementary school. I just hate this
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TaRenee:
That’s horrible! I’m so sorry
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Renee~I am deeply sorry to hear of such a terrible loss. I don't understand whenthese types of things happen. I don't think it's fair at all. That poor family. I am sending you a virtual hug and support over the miles. Sooo very sorry, there are no words. I hate that this has happened.. I'm truly sorry. Much love ~M~
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TaRenee:
(((HUGS))) I’m so sorry.
Sending prayers and strength for you and the family.
Madelyn
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I'm sorry Renee,
Such terrible news. By now you know I didn't make it through my friends memorial. Wa sit because she had cancer. Likely so, though I think it is so appropriate to be devastated by the loss of a young life, a promising future. It will be appreciated that you share your emotions, and if you feel like you can't tolerate it then it's ok to head out early. I wish I could give you a big hug ..0 -
I live in the area where Hurricane Florence hit, and I didn't evacuate. There are a LOT of reasons why people don't leave. Most of us are not careless idiots. Here are a few reasons:
- Weather forecasters make every storm sound like the end of the world, and most of the time it is nowhere near as bad as they say it will be. They stand in ditches to make flooding look worse than it is, and pretend that the winds are stronger than they actually are. Because of these exaggerations, people don't trust the forecasters. It has become quite a "the sky is falling" situation.
- When you evacuate, it can take a really long time to get back home. I evacuated during Hurricane Floyd in 1999 - I was lucky enough to have a friend that lived pretty far inland, and I went to stay with her. Much like this storm, the interstates flooded, and there was no way for me to get back home for over a week. I was a teacher at the time, and the local schools were still closed when I made it home, but most of the retail businesses in the county had been up and running for several days by the time I got back. There was flooding in the counties surrounding us, but relatively little here, so things opened back up fairly quickly. I can see why people who work in retail are afraid of losing their jobs - the sad reality is that many employers are not reasonable at all about things like that.
- I couldn't afford a week and a half to two weeks of hotel for myself and my cats (and there's no way I'd leave them), and honestly, I can't imagine staying in a shelter for that long. You're not talking 1-2 nights. It's more like 7-10 nights of crowded conditions with people you don't know.
- Some of us have elderly parents/family members who refuse to leave. My mom was one of them. She needs a hip replacement surgery, is in a lot of pain, and didn't think she could tolerate being in the car long enough to evacuate - with traffic, a 2-3 hour drive is doubled at minimum. There is no way I was leaving her behind knowing that I probably couldn't get back for at least a week. I had several friends (I can think of five offhand) who were in the same situation. They really wanted to leave, but just couldn't deal with the guilt of leaving an elderly parent behind.
- The people who are hit the hardest are usually the ones that had the least resources to begin with. See #2 & 3 for why they don't leave. People can say what they want about shelters being available, but I understand why people don't want to go to them for a long time. They aren't pleasant, and some of them are outright unsafe. This video is of the school where I used to teach. My old classroom is shown at 0:14, and the hallway at about 0:35 is usually used as a hurricane shelter. Luckily, they decided not to use the school as a shelter this time. Most of the school had significant damage, and several other schools in the area are the same. I'd hate to think of how terrifying it would be to be in there during that storm. https://www.star-telegram.com/latest-news/article2...
- By the time the mandatory evacuation was announced, gas stations were already running out of gas, so the fear of getting stranded on the highway was a legitimate concern. My brother went to every gas station in his town and could not find any.
- Someone mentioned that you have tons of time to prepare for a hurricane, and while it is true that the storms are tracked for a week or so before landfall, most of that time isn't actually useful in terms of evacuation. There is a ton of uncertainty with hurricane forecasts. You really don't know where it is going to hit until it is very close. When my parents evacuated for Hurricane Floyd (1999), they went inland about 2 hours and ended up trapped in a hotel with floodwaters all around them. Sometimes the place you evacuate to ends up worse than home - that's what happened to them. I'm pretty sure people experienced the same thing with Hurricane Hugo. By the time you have a good feel for where it's going to go, you run into issues with gas supply and availability of hotels. They did a pretty good job predicting Florence's path, but it still changed very significantly in the last 48 hours before it hit.
My point in posting this is simply to ask people not to judge those who decide not to evacuate. It isn't something most of us take lightly.0 -
Lovepugs - Very well said. How very sad and traumatizing...
I can't imagine having to go through that. And, I can't imagine having to leave a pet behind...
Just impossible and heart-breaking... :-(
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