August 2015 Chemo Group
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Dee I'm very happy to hear from you. Thank you for being a support, for pioneering the support for out BC sisters and brothers going forward. I know they will all be better and hopefully feel better for it.0
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Hi MsBrompton, MollieFish and DeeRatz! (DeeRatz, I saw that you came to Vancouver, it seems that was while I was off the board, but if I'd been around I would have invited you to visit, or gone up there to see you while you were there! Sorry we missed each other.)DeeRatz, I'm so pleased that you started a support group. You know I never even thought about finding an in-person support group in my area, but I'm sure there are some. I have a friend who's going through rads now and we (she and I and a few other women) are going to be in a "knitted knockers" group that she started -- but that's more of a group supporting women with BC, not necessary a group for women with BC, if you know what I mean. I guess I could find out through the local ACS chapter if there are support groups around here.
MsBrompton, all your activity just amazes me, all that cycling! And I feel good just to be able to climb the stairs to my house without a huge ordeal. Very inspiring. Sorry about your knee but, perspective ...
MollieFish, I have really enjoyed your updates too. I'm glad you're doing well now.
Yesterday I met with the surgeon and plastic surgeon who are going to do my DMX. This is my third try meeting with a team, and I finally have complete confidence in moving forward. They're the first ones to express confidence that we can achieve my goals and to say that they're not unrealistic. The plan at the moment is a double breast reduction and then a DMX with DIEP after the breast reduction heals. The reduction is being done in order to make it unnecessary to use implants, because the space to be filled will be smaller. I'm actually fine with having a smaller figure, as it will make it easier to run! (Sigh, I just wish my steroid-induced buddha belly was going to shrink along with my soon-to-be-boobs lower belly, but that is apparently up to me and my ability to do crunches ... after I'm all healed up of course. As the plastic surgeon said, "You can't start reducing that now, there's no such thing as spot reducing, and you don't want to reduce your lower belly fat because we'll need it.")
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Hey, ladies!
Just popping in to say hi. . . It's been a while. How is everyone doing?
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No Bueno... fight with WorryWart (more accurately, Cold War) -- mea culpa. My mind went to dark place... to make long story short. I was preparing for Concert poster, wants to know if I should use the word Pianst / Organist / or Accompanist (didn't know which instruments are being used). The Maestro said something weird regarding WorryWart's role, & he said "whatever you want to use, No One Care!"
& my mind caught in the middle of that & spiraling down: "Are the things he said/ done fake? What else he doesn't care?" & my mind lashed out, questioning that, "so are we strangers then? were the thing you said just pity?" But I know that's not true...
I tried to apologized later, but he said it's not necessary, that I didn't hurt him, etc.
Anyway... we haven't speak since the 5th... & he was comfortable threw out PG 13 innuendos beginning of the year. Maybe I shouldn't let him do that...
This friendship thing is hard work!
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Ah, WorryWart. I wondered if he'd sorted himself out yet. Doesn't sound like he has.
I'm doing pretty well, decided not to get the fake nipple tattooed but have got used to it the way it is. It is possible that I'm done with my treatment!!!
And now, supporting friends and the wives of friends who are just beginning their breast cancer journey.
Kate you didn't say how YOU are doing!
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I didn't mean to be gone so long. Somehow I got logged off and forgot my password. Or I just kept typing it in wrong, because it was exactly what I thought it was and worked just fine today.
Kate, you DIDN'T say how you are!
Superius, I am sorry about worrywart. Maybe setting some boundaries will help him figure out where he stands--put a stop to the innuendos and see what happens.
Dee, Mom, MsB, it is so good to hear from you! Glad things are moving along and we are embracing our new normal.
I have had horrific pain from the AI. Elbows, knees, and feet hurt the most, then neck and lower back, and my shoulders and hips ache. Took a break a couple of months ago and the pain almost entirely went away. Just my knees complaining a bit, but totally manageable. Went back on it and whew! pain came back with a vengeance. I joined a weight loss challenge ($$ is on the line ladies) just before restarting the AI. I was doing okay with eating better, but could not walk let alone starting running, and the constipation wasn't doing me any favors either. In 5 weeks I am down 1/2 a pound. Only 43.5 to go. (I am also in last place in the challenge.
I see my BS and MO next month and will get my 2 year mammograms then. Why is this so nerve wracking?!
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Waugh Musogirl, how miserable. Hugs!
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Musosgirl, that sounds challenging. Keep us posted!
I'm doing OK. Chemical menopause sucks, but I keep on keeping on. . . . I see my oncologist next week for my quarterly visit; I haven't seen her (I've been seeing the NP instead) since I finished Herceptin last year. She's doing labs, etc., and likely to tell me to keep living my life.
Over the past six months or so, I've convinced myself that I have skin mets (nope, it was dermatitis), bone mets (nope, hurt myself at the gym both times), and a blood clot (nope, it was air hunger from anxiety). Still no scans, which is fine with me, and I'm working very hard on being present. I hate the term "mindfulness," but being mindful really helps. I do yoga almost daily, and it's kind of amazing how helpful it is.
We ended up having to put my dad into assisted living. He has Parkinson's and Lewy Body dementia, and my mom couldn't take care of him anymore. The facility is brand new and quite nice, and he seems to be adjusting pretty well. I plan to visit him again at the end of the month (they're a state away). I had a pretty major grief meltdown, but now I'm working through it. . . My dad was always one of my biggest fans and strongest centers of support, and now he's someone else. Still a great guy, but not the guy I knew (if that makes sense).
In other, better news, I'm teaching weightlifting classes to others in the BC club at the YMCA, and loving it. My semester is going well, even though my students are zombies, and life is pretty good.
I just presented an essay called "Titanium Tits" at a major professional conference, and it went over well. I was terrified and did it anyway.
More good news? The book should be out at the end of the summer!
I needed to take a little break from BC-related websites, but I plan to check in here at least once a week. Thanks for being patient with me, gals! Big hugs.
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Cold War still going on. I can count on 1 hand the words we said to each other in the past month. .....
Also, my little car (1999 Corolla, low mileage, runs perfect & perfect) got Totaled. -- someone came out from the strip mall turning LEFT & hit my car on the rear passenger side.... One day AFTER I got a new Starter!!! So now I have a new car. A blue Corolla. Blue is my happy color.
..
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It's SO pretty superius! Bummer on the wreck though. Are you okay
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Yeah. no harm to me.
Just bummed about my little car. it could go another 18-20yrs!
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- Good evening friends. I had my regular 6 months check up today with a new MO as my fellow is on some kind of break for the next three months. Very exciting for him! Nothing to worry about, the next mammogram to be scheduled for May, new script for tamoxifen and away we go. I'm having an MRI a week from Monday for a small lump in my neck to rule out malformation. I've been having chronic sore throat for months now and all the tests so far have been negative. I finally saw an ent last week who thinks I have. Benign condition called lingual tonsil hyper trophy and it can cause chronic sore throat. I'm ok with that as long as I know that's what is going on. Otherwise it's all good I the hood. By the way she recommended a glass of tonic water for the late night cramps and other muscle cramps. Need more electrolytes I guess.
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I drop in here occasionally. Good to hear people's news.
I want to be the first to wish everyone happy Easter / Passover.
Almost two years since I got my first symptoms of breast cancer... We're all still here, right? Praise the Lord.
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Hi all,
Just saying hello. Still doing well on my first line treatment. Pushing the limits of statistics, but I'm determined to be an outlier.
You guys....I got to the Grand Canyon. That was running through my head during diagnosis, that I would never see it. AND I got to host a huge event for my daughter's first middle school play last weekend (green flower, below). Life is normal most days. My son's 10th birthday is Monday; I'm planning a big party with his crazy friends. Such good stuff.
I'm starting a new program tomorrow through LBBC called Hear My Voice. It's advocacy training for metastatic patients. I've formed so many friendships with these women online; it will be wonderful to see them in person. And I'm serving on a panel in DC about patient decision making next month.
I'm not back to work, but I'm consulting a few hours a week. Life is good!
Love to you all,
Rachel
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BEAUTIFUL pictures, Bluefrog!
Has anyone read the book/ watched the movie called, "The Fault in Our Stars"? I just learnt about it recent from a review on a blog Mundanefaithfulness.com. The blog writer wrote about her journey with BC, & her friends kept with it.
I haven't seen the movie or read the book, but couple of quotes spoke to me. It is about 2 teenagers who met at cancer support group. the girl (stage 4 thyroid) kept trying to push the boy away, & the boy kept pushing the boundary... (hmmm anyone we know?) The girl felt like she was a grenade, where she knew she would one day explode and leave casualties. She was withdrawing from relationships to keep the casualties at a minimum. And Kara (the blog writer) said that she also felt that temptation, & she had to fight HARD against it (& it seems many other do as well). I think it's like, "If I make you angry & upset, I can push you away, & later you won't get hurt as much." It's very irrational, & I now realized that I've been doing a lot with the pushing away (& not just with the Cold War... )
And then last night, I don't know where the thought came from, but I was thinking Elsa from Frozen. hmmm... (no, I haven't seen that neither)
My mind is like bouncy ball!!!
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Beautiful photos, Rachel. I went to the Grand Canyon as a kid and I would love to see it again.
I went to Arches National Park last year three weeks after finishing radiation therapy. I tried to hike to Delicate Arch, but I just did not have the energy. So I rested while my friends finished this hike. Last week I made it!
I read the Fault in Our Stars a year before I was diagnosed. I'm not sure that I would want to read it now.
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BlueFrog! Those are wonderful updates! Superius, it may seem weird but I treasure the pain I feel of having my lost my best friend at 14, because it validates her life. She mattered. To me. And the pain of missing her can be precious--proof that love continues on regardless. And the music for Frozen is great--the storyline is stupid. (At least the parents were stupid). 🙄 Vickirides, now I think we all need a weekend retreat at the Grand Canyon.
SO. 6 month follow-up. 2 months late. Blood-work all good--best it's been since diagnosis actually! Oncologist and Breast Surgeon's office happy and great! Then today... Mammograms. Lots of mammograms. Then they came back for MORE mammograms. But not on Frankenboob. Nope. On Lefty. Then they wanted ultrasound. The tech didn't find anything so the doctor came in himself. More goo and imaging. He didn't find anything but he wants more mammograms in six months. I said I am having MRIs in six months. He said "do the MRI first, then the mammograms." So ultrasound was totally clear, but he acted like something is still wrong. I cried all the way home and twice more tonight.
Ladies, tell me everything is okay! 😢😔
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I am sorry that you're having to deal with this, Musosgirl. Did the doctor say why they wanted more mammograms and the ultrasound? Waiting 6 months sounds awful.
Wishing you peace and health.
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bluefrog yay! I want to get to the Grand Canyon. Keep pushing those limits, girl!
Musogirl, I bet they're being extra careful, but if they said come back in 6 months that means they found nothing, so that's good. It's scary, isn't it! Always waiting for the other shoe (or boob) to drop.
I'm doing ok on this end, battling weight gain and crazy irritability from arimidex. I'm ready to pounce on people all the time. I'm going to talk to my doc about it.
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Will have mammogram this week (or next. just walk-in), then yearly follow-up with surgeon in June.
I decided in the last couple days that I am taking a time out from choir. Maybe some time away will help. I don't want to be the cause of WorryWart losing focus or distracted while on the job.
I actually decided couple weeks ago, to take a Mindfulness class "Mind Over Cancer" at Kaiser. It begins next Wednesday (happens to be rehearsal night). Last year they had it, but didn't include in the description for people post-Treatment, so I asked them. & they included us this time. It's a 4 week class..... so.... let's see how that goes.....
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Muso:Before I had a dbl mastectomy they were all about having mammograms on my other breast every 6 months so I think they just practace an abundance of caution about it. Regardless it is emotional and stressful. I still have 3 month check ups and the day I go no matter how calm I am going in I am a mess coming out and for the rest of they day. I need to remember to treat myself to something that day .Maybe get a pedicure... big hugs
Superious you know I was so ticked off that I couldn't ride my bike with my hand neuropathy that I signed up for mindfulness. It works it truly does but I have found that you have to do it everyday for like 5 minutes. I started to do it while waiting for doctors appointments. It helped I also practace in the car for 5 minutes while I wait for one of my kids to get out of something.
I noticed it gets easier and better the longer you do it. After about 4 weeks I swear my body got really good at going in to that relaxed state. It almost knew exactly what to do. Almost like muscle memory.. I don't know how to describe I also put some meditation music on my phone that is 5 minutes long so I don't have to think about anything and when the music is done so is my mental break.
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Musogirl, I think 6 months is fine. If they had said one month it would mean they were very suspicious!!
But now horrible for you. HUGS
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Had mammogram yesterday. The Tech said looks good, see you in a year.
Here is an interesting thought about anxiety & worry I heard from the "Mind Over Cancer" class Wednesday: That your mind only wanders/ goes to the "dark place" when you feel / are safe. Because in the middle of a crisis, you are in the flight or fight mode.
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Oh ladies! So this past week I found a lump. That spot they kept imaging a couple weeks ago? Well a red spot appeared about 4-5 days ago and there is a little lump. I finally broke down and called my BS yesterday--left a message for the nurse. Hopefully she calls Monday morning. I have been fine until today--I sat through two graduations today and all I could think about was being here in 6 years and 9 years for my boys' graduations. I cried a lot this evening at the second celebration. Trying to stay positive, but it was a tough day
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MusoGirl I am very sorry to hear about this. I hope it turns out to be something benign!0
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This past Monday marked 2 years since my initial diagnosis. June 8 will mark 2 years since my surgery. My goodness time flies.
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Muso
Big Hugs
I don't think I posted but about a 2 months ago I had a little lump that they did an ultrasound on and it turned out to be a small cyst I still need my PS to remove because I can't stand staring at it and I want them to make sure it doesn't have anything in it so pathology too.
I am sending you positive thoughts. I have had a few big scares like brain MRI's etc. I have gotten to a point where I really try to stay busy and keep telling myself that when I have all the information I will worry about it. Until then I do all I can to distract myself. I have cried so much during treatment I am committed not to worry myself sick until I have the results. I know it is easier said than done that is why I am not telling you to do it I am just telling you how I cope.
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Musosgirl, {{{HUGS}}} Maybe this is why I feel restless today... I just got into work less than an hr ago & feeling the time is dragging. We have all these anniversaries coming up...
This is one of the mindfulness exercises we have from class. this one is NOT easy!
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HUGS Musogirl. Either way, let us know and we're here for you.
xx
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Wishing you the best, Musosgirl.
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