Starting Chemo September 2015; join us!
Comments
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Best thing for nausea? Tired of throwing up, day 2 after chemo.
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Lindy-thinking of you and your son. Hope your fight will motivate him for his fight. I prayed for you and family
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Artista, have you tried aloe Vera juice? Just a thought. We have an Italian greyhound who has lots of gastric problems, and when he throws up randomly I give him a couple squirts of aloe Vera juice with an eye dropper
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exercise_guru: Your comments about seeing your therapist to break free of Cancer trying to run your life synched with me. Thank heavens this BC waited until I had already begun work with an excellent thrapist (for other problems). I am a chronic worrier, and my therapist has helped me realize that it will take time and lots of practice to change my thinking style so I can spend (waste) less time focused on Cancer. I like the analogy of Cancer as a disobedient dog on a leash; I plan to try that.
My Pain Clinic neurologist introduced me to Mindfulness meditation over a decade ago. I highly recommend books/CDs by Jon Kabat-Zinn --- you can probably find his stuff in your library. Full Catastrophe Living is pretty good, but the guided meditations are on a separate CD; maybe the new update book edition includes them, don't know. His other book The Mindful Way Through Depression is IMO an easier read, was recommended to me for chronic pain (although I've battled depression off/on), and DOES include a CD of guided meditations.
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Lindy, (((((hugs))))) to you, you are a wonderful strong mom helping your son heal from his addiction. Please don't dump on yourself over not being able to drop him off to the rehab clinic --- he most certainly knows how much you love him ((((more hugs)))
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Southern Charm- I, too, understand what we do for love. After my father died of cancer without me being here, I threw myself into being here for my mom. Whenever and wherever I traveled for a job, I worked hard to make it back on the weekend. 20 hour car ride or flight from far away- I'd be here every weekend. I had to give up my dreams so that she could live. I gave up graduate school. The stress from school and worrying about her caused other issues. Finally I couldn't do it. I became a nurse to take care of her- I hate being a nurse (nothing against nurses), I just have no interest in being a nurse. It was the easiest way to get into the "medical field" so I did it. She passed away with me taking care of her night and day. She ironically died of the end results of smoking and not taking her hypertension medications. She didn't die of breast cancer but I had hand picked her physicians who took great care of her. I couldn't bring myself to go her MO- we became friends and I didn't want him to see the person I had become. It just is not a pretty sight.I truly understand how people feel like their lives had been hijacked by cancer. I struggle with the anger every day. My mom's cancer hijacked my life goals. I just worried about her too much to concentrate while in school. She just needed ( wanted me?) me there. I am an only child and while I worked my way through school, I always tried to be there for my parents. Now my life is again hijacked by cancer. I finally finish a good consulting job. I'm ready to go get a permanent job, job market looks good. Screech! Breast cancer. I hate it. I hear all these celebrities talk about how it brought "focus" into their lives, I just want to cry. Focus is for people who have "people" to get them through this. I see nothing but pain. People who have fled from me, people who don't think I want to talk about anything but cancer so avoid me and the loss of a relationship that was extremely flawed but had some good points. Nothing but bills, endless appointments, and we all know the side effects. I need to get back to "real" work. But I am stuck here in breast cancer land. I have a lunch with my main consulting boss for next year- 3 days after chemo #3. I just haven't figured out how to explain anything and I will be asking for extra help on the nausea and vomiting side from my MO. AC#2 hasn't given me one day of peace and I am headed into AC#3. I sort of have my hair (it hurts and there are spots where there are none but I look like I am wearing a used Brillo pad on my head). People keep asking me when I am going to get it buzzed off but I hold onto every hair and push it down on my painful scalp.
Next year I so want to finally use my passport and go to Paris. I dream of eating great food and taking pictures and enjoying life again. I would also like to find a "real job" and have a real life again.
Lindy C- You are a great mom! You put aside your needs to keep your son close so that he could have a chance to beat the dragon that consumes his life. What your son needs now is radio silence- the hardest thing for parents to do. The people at the treatment center will tell you when and how to step in. Let them do their jobs. Other than physical violence- let them do their jobs. They have been doing this for awhile. Gain your strength to fight your own fight and be there for the rest of your family. Your family will have to "re-learn" life after cancer and addiction. Parents that hijack the process have kids that don't get all the benefits of treatment. I want all of you to survive and grow. You did good momma! You got him in the door. Let your son and the staff work their magic.
My feet are a bunch of dried up, painful clodhoppers. I have been using lotion but it doesn't seem to help. I miss the days when I could get a long soak and a pedicure. Not now.
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Hi LindyC I have the same issues with my son he doesnt want help and is not very nice to me thats putting in mildly its awful. Im so pleased to hear your son has gone to rehab. Im staying with my mum during treatment because our home is a warzone...you know what I mean I'll keep your son in my prayers. Im sure you are a great mother but I too feel like a failure. It's a tough one your son is in the best place to aid his recovery cry because your heart is heavy but take some comfort in he is getting the help he needs. Praying that you are all well in the new year xxx
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Lindy - You and your son are in my thoughts. It is wonderful that he is in rehab and that you and the rest of his family + girlfriend are supporting his through this.
I hope his and your treatments will bring each of you back to health at the end of your parallel journeys. Keep us posted, we're here to listen and support. <<<hugs>>>
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Artista - Worried about you this morning. If you are still vomiting, call your MO 24-hour line or go to the ER. Vomiting and nausea that won't go away are on my practice's "red flag" list for quick escalation.
Hoping those SEs have abated overnight or that you've already gotten help. Other than Compazine + steroids, the only help I've found is eating lots of small snacks to avoid an empty stomach. But that's not always helpful once the vomiting has set in.
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Cinque..hang in there. We knew my son was using as early as 12 years of age. Sometimes it was obvious, other times he snuck through and we thought "great, he's over that stage". By the age of 20 it escalated with him stealing money and any valuables from us so we asked him to move out. He moved in with a girl (not of our liking, but whatever as it didnt last) and a better relationship between us developed. He started another relationship with a wonderful, patient girl that our family adores. She is his saviour and her ultimatum of threatening to leave opened his eyes.
In the last month he had completely deteriorated and was not able to function. He works for us and was not coming in at all. So the doctors are the ones to send referrals to these facilities and his family doc was either impossible to get in to see or indifferent and took a wait and see how it goes stand. Dumb idiot that doesn't listen. I've been telling my guys to move over to my female doctor family practice. Women are usually the best at compassion.
We are tired of the wait and see merry-go-round and I found a local private facility on our own. It is of great expense to us but he was in the next day. We are placing all our hopes and dreams on his being successful.
Another lesson learned here. If the doc you have isn't helping you feel better, then move on to another that will. We don't need to suffer needlessly, no matter what our ailments are.
Taxol #1 side effects are minimal today. I took Ibuprofen and Claritin this morning and I just may get some housework done, thanks to the leftover steroids from yesterday.
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AC #4 has not been my friend. Mild nausea I cannot shake, and fatigue/chemo brain that won't let me work. I'm excited that I get measured for a compression sleeve and glove this afternoon. I've had the bulky compression wrap for a couple of weeks, and dream of showering without a trash bag on my arm and washing my hands. Also, I have few clothes that fit over my arm without stretching out the sleeve.
Lindy, I'm glad your son is getting the help he needs. Cinque, I hope your son chooses to get help soon. Too many of us are fighting multiple wars this fall
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tessu: since you mention meditation and mindfulness, I wonder if anyone has shared this (I can't keep up with everything). There is a free meditation series, it's already 5 days in, but you have access for 5 days, so you could go back and start from day 1. This one is about beliefs.
https://chopracentermeditation.com/experience
I have done these free meditations before, and they are usually very good.
Mindfulness exercises are very good for you physically and emotionally. Studies show that mindfulness actually changes the brain. You can see changes to the brain in trauma, depression, etc and when people regularly practice mindfulness you can actually see the brain change back over time. Cancer is traumatizing, more traumatizing for some than others, but it is traumatizing.
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Grey: I never did shave my head either. And am glad I didn't. This way I can see that I there are little wisps of hair that never left. Sort of like Southern's 'afro'. Hold onto the Paris dream. Things will get better.
Artista, thinking of you today. And you also Lindy. Sending ((((((((hugs)))))) to all
Octogirl
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Lindy, hugs to you. While incredibly painful to you, rehab is the best place for your son to be & the longer he stays the better. I will pray for a great outcome for him and you both. I don't even know you, but I am going to say you are not a bad mom. (bad moms usually don't sit around and fret and try to figure out what they could have done differently) Sure there are those kids raised in terrible environments who turn to drugs, but so many kids from pretty "normal" families end up going that way, and you can have 5 kids and one is on drugs & the rest are functional. Addiction is so much about the brain, biology, genes and disposition. We love to blame everything on the mother in our culture, but it is not your fault.
I hope you are well enough to participate in family sessions or family support groups. They can be very helpful. So much about dealing with an addict runs counter intuitive to how we naturally react to a child not being well. The support is really important and in this day and age phone and skype sessions happen all the time too.
ALERT - this contains religious comments, disregard if not interested - This week I was listening to a christian podcast about parenting and the speaker talked about the prodigal son and pointed out that throughout the Bible, the most holy men had children who went the wrong way. Sorry if that is not your faith, but I'm taking a chance that Judaism or Christianity might be common here (?)
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Lady in Purple. Thank you for your kind words. This is not a new battle for us. My flip out yesterday was mostly from relief as well as fear for the ordeal ahead for him but the emotion overwhelmed me. We have participated in family sessions many times and have eventually left the guilt behind. My guilt and sadness was in not being there in person to send him off. We've worked so hard to get him there.
My son is just susceptible to the draw of the drug culture and people that endorse it. Its the brain biology that triggers his need. He's a musician (need I say more) and now that he can't create and compose anymore, he knows we weren't kidding all along. This young man has so much love and support and knows it. He's just stubborn and thinks he can stop himself, whenever he wants...now he knows differently and the acceptance for help. I think my diagnosis hit him hard too. He' relies on Mom and Dad always being there for him and this Cancer is sending him a message that I'm not invincible.
Well...maybe I am as I plan to kick this Cancer to the curb...but I digress.
We're not a particularly religious family but will definitely accept prayers. We are more spiritual and yoga, proper organic nutrition and meditation will get us all through this.
Thank you all for the support, even if its non Cancer support.
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I'm ok, thanks for thinking of me. Threw up twice, one was feeling non stop. But so far today 8 am so good. Do you ever feel like you have enough in stock to go do your errands on AC? Luckily I don't need to yet but I wonder even when I feel ok, can't imagine going out. Much less you guys who work. wow. Being all alone with no help sucks.
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Lindy C and Cinque- There are more "good" kids from the right side of the tracks in rehab then ever before. Drugs that were seen in the ghetto somehow have become fascinating to young people. They are now starting to do things that totally frighten me like injecting drugs. Kids from the "wrong" side of tracks who get hooked on drugs end up dead unless they have some other support system like church or sports. Be tough. Be good parents. And never forget to say you love them.
On another note: I am being referred to get a new PCP since my PCP doesn't want to "deal" with my breast cancer. And there are the issues of my hypertension and asthma.
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My hormones are so screwed up from this chemo. I normally get a migraine at the end of my period. Sometimes it comes with vomiting. Got that this morning out of nowhere. I don't know if it's hormone related or chemo related or both. I am so effing tired of being sick
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Lindy and Cinque
Your pain for your sons are understood. I always call cancer a devil. Addiction too is the devil.
I have a grandson in the same situation. He has been in jail, in rehab and is currently back on the street. Our hearts too are broken. My daughter is just about at her wits end. I pray every day for him and for all those who are addicted. My daughter, just as you dear ladies, is a wonderful Mother and provided a good home, but when that devil, addiction, rears its ugly head it is devastating. Perhaps as you said you are both going to finish at the same time this just may be the light that he needs to put the drugs aside. and Cingue, my grandson is horrible to his Mom.too.Its of course the drugs. My daughter sits many times and crys too.
Rosieo
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Wow. Threw up for the first time this morning. Everything was yellow (bile?)
I think I'm dehydrated... have all the symptoms of low blood pressure.
I know I'm on a lot of Miralax and this could be contributing to my problem.
At what point should I worry my chemo nurse?0 -
Thanks Southern and Grey...I am the "fixer" in the family and as you all are very aware, we aren't able to do much of that for anyone else right now. Our focus is fixing us. But I'm determined to keep my nose in my sons recovery. Made my first stand. He was to make a list of those that could visit and they needed to be approved. I say no to all of them. They are all very nice young men, but are users, some heavy, some not but I don't give a shit. Only people he needs around are his family. He needs to reconnect with his 3 siblings. They adore each other but the trust and respect for their oldest brother needs repair.
I'm very optimistic this morning as the stomach and taste issues are settling and I'm feeling quite normal in that department. Goodbye AC hell...there should be a bell for that!
I did have an initial tingle in hands and feet this morning (thank you Taxol) to remind me that this ain't all sunshine and buttercups ahead but so far so good. Had a lovely lady in the chemo chair next to me and she's one taxol ahead of me. We reminisced over the horrors of AC and celebrated the end of the red devil...misery certainly loves company.. lol
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lindy- what a loving family you have! It takes one to do these hard interventions.
My hives seem better but boo ya prednisone is making me hungry and zippy! The hungry part feels nice. Haven't felt truly happy about food since September! Still no clarity on if I got hives from taxotere. So what to expect from round 4. 3 MOs and one says common se, 1 says too far out from chemo (1 week) to be a chemo se, and one says never heard of that as an se of TC. Ummm...how many mos does it take to agree? Keep in mind my dad was an mo so no offense meant
. Will talk to my mo when she returns from out of town Monday. 0 -
Lindy - I'm sorry this is not a new battle. It's a tough one. It's not bad that you were not there to send him off.
I work in mental health and the stigma and lack of support drives me nuts. I post this article regularly on FB
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DLcygnet - As I mentioned to Artista, repeated nausea or vomiting are on my practice's list of "phone on-call MO or go to ER." I'd definitely check in with your nurse.
Artista - Thanks for letting us know you're better. Like you, I'm in awe of those who have kids and/or are working.
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So much support here...and not just for the cancer horrors but general life horrors and challenges. Thank you all even if it takes us off the topic for a minute. Its hard to talk to people close to us as they either don't get it or judge or whatever...whether its cancer or addiction, we are helpless unless the treatments work. And the treatments are horrible for both. I know my son in detoxing right now. You all know what that means. The diarhea, the sweats, the vomiting etc...and Mommy isn't there to cool his brow and tell him he'll be ok. He is 28 years old but still my baby. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so well today, I'm consumed with the thoughts of his misery that I won't notice any of mine.
So, back to Taxol. After having normal bathroom visits on AC (lucky me), I've started a looser version after my 1st taxol infusion. Nothing major but definitely going more often and looser. Is this the start of the big D?
Southern..yes my nails are ridiculously long. I do notice more ridges but I've just had to clip them back. Before treatment, I had brittle nails and had to go to the salon for gel applications to have any sort of decent looking nails.
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Need advice
My friend wants to take us for massages tomorrow afternoon. Sounds heavenly.
It just occurred to me that I have no idea if it's ok.
I only like very gently massage. Is there any reason I shouldn't do it?
I might be able to switch to a facial or just skip it all together if it's a problem.
What do you think?
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((((southern))) I hope your SE's stay away now for the rest of the cycle!
(((Lindy)))) ...I've been thinking about you and your family. I'm so happy your son was able to get good help with his struggle. That's a lot to have on your plate! Hugs!
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Anyone here doing taxotere after AC?
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If you have lymph nodes taken out the you shouldn't get a regular massage. The women's center I go to has a massage therapist who specializes in this due to chances of lymphedema.
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You have to be careful with massages so you don't get your lymph system engaged. I read that somewhere. I'd do the facial or just a shoulder head massage.
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