Starting Chemo September 2015; join us!
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Wow, sorry to hear shopgal. Can't imagine. Sending peace love and light.
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shopgal, I'm so sorry for your loss. That was a very moving tribute to your mother. She must have been so proud of you. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.
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Shopgal- I'm so sorry for your loss. Peace and strength to you and your family.
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on the September 16 thread page 3 there is a very nice comment from someone whose read our thread. Though we are slowing down now, we have had such an active, supporting group. You ladies were my life savers during an extremely difficult time and I love and appreciate all of you. I still think about everyone daily and wonder about the ones we don't hear from anymore.
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^^^ what twiggyOR said. I do check and read here almost every day, and hope those who haven't posted on awhile are simply moving on and too busy to check in here
So many thanks to you all! I would not have gotten through chemo without all the support and love from everyone here. TwiggyOR are you still getting Herceptin? I've got three more doses (if my heart passes the next check in a couple weeks); last one the end of October. I hate the injections (they hurt! I've become such a baby where pain is concerned!) but I will probably feel weird and scared when they stop and the hidden cancer cells can start growing again (although at least I'll still have the AI...).
Wishng everybody a comfortable weekend
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Shopgal--So very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you.
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tessu, my last herceptin is September 6th. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Like you said, I worry that i will no longer be getting active treatment other than tamoxifen. I'm definitely looking forward to lots trips to the doctor. My port removal is scheduled Nov. 8th.
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I am so sorry to hear that your mother has passed. I, too was at the bedside when my mother passed. It is a time that I feel bad about because there was nothing I could do to prevent her from leaving me. It was pre- BC and since she survived BC and never had a recurrence in 16 years (she died of vascular disease) I never saw it coming. Everyone deals with the death of their parents in a different way. Know that my love is with you at this sad time and every day going forward.
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Roll call: who still has their port? (raises hand)
Second question: How is the hair coming, ladies? My hair is nothing short of a disaster. First it came in blondish and thin, and I cut it all off. Next, it grew in really dark with tight curls which was kind of cool and retro looking, but as the top grew longer, I noticed that it seems that the curls were only at the ends. So I cut the back off and it's coming in straighter. It's also growing in a lighter shade of brown. The top looks ridiculous because it curls at the end and is not curly at the base but I can't bring myself to go have the top cut. I think I'm going to have to go super short pixie soon just to get the end curls out because it all looks ridiculous.
Everyone I've known with chemo, their hair either came back the same or it came back different, but it did not continuously change over 6 months. What...the..? Also, my hair is super coarse and dry. I suspect that's all the estrogen blocking. I'm almost ready to shave it all off again and start over but I get the feeling that although it may be straighter, it won't feel any better. This hair should feel amazing, it is never heat treated or brushed and is regularly conditioned. But it feels like a horse!
This is not a huge deal or anything, but I'm definitely over my hair, lol. After my eyelashes fell out again a couple of months back, both they and my eyebrows have grown in thinner. Suspect that is also here to stay.
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shopgirl: What you posted was beautiful and wonderful. The loss of a parent is so challenging. I find little ways to remember and honor my dad and to bring cheer to my heart for the loss. For example I make his favorite dinner sometimes. I also am learning guitar with my son in lessons. It helps me as my father played guitar to me growing up. I hope you have comfort in the weeks ahead.
I haven't checked in a lot because I am going through a crazy rollercoaster of emotion. For a month now since finishing Herceptin and having my survivorship appt I have been angry, frustrated and impatient to get on with life. The lingering side effects I have are making it very hard for me to be active and to look for work and just get on with things. I still have neuropathy in my left foot or I should say I started It feels like there is a sock bunched up under my toes. My arms and hands get better and then they start hurting and go numb. I am waiting to decide on CT surgery until November.
Then this week was the first week of school and everyone is starting over at new schools. I had been transporting them across town to specialized programs but after all this I needed to bring them closer to home. My kids are overwhelmed at meeting new friends so I am supporting them and listening to there stressed complaints. The whole time just being grateful to be alive and hoping I get to be alive for a long time in the future. Change has always been hard for me and I found myself crying most of the week. There is a bright sides to the deal. I have anonymity. I was PTA president at the old school and had to hand off much of my responsibilities to the team. Now I have new hair and a new life with few people knowing about the year of hell cancer. I really like that. I am so done with talking to people about my hair and my health.
Cajun I still have my port. because of it is going to be a kerfuncle to get it out.I have a very large scar right in my collar line and I am gonig to ask the PS if he can do anything with it or if I get a tattoo over it. Seriously it is visible with every shirt I wear. I have that appt next week. I am waiting until I decide whether to have hand surgery and for my 3 month cancer free follow up. The dry skin is the HT. I am amazed you ran a marathon on AI. Amazed truly. I am wishing all of us a strong recovery.
My hair flips up everywhere and has wings and I am thinking of just getting a short pixie to get rid of some of the weirdness. Its not as bad as I thought it would be .
Today I am going to get in the pool. I am going to try water therapy for now and see if that will help me get my strength up.
I miss tons of people and wonder how they are doing. If you are reading please check whether you are up up up or down down down.
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My last herceptin is Sept 6th and port removal is scheduled for Nov 8th at next BS followup appt. I have a survivorship appt in October. For some reason I'm really nervous about that appointment.
My hair is getting close to normal. Just a little short and missing bangs. Eyebrows are thinning again. After baldness I'll take whatever I get. Happy to not look like a cancer patient anymore! Now if only I could not feel like one.....
I'm taking gabapentin for neuropathy and hot flashes. It seems to help a lot with my neuropathy and a little with the hot flashes. I also started taking a B complex. I think it's helping my mental sharpness!
I wish you all days free of thinking about cancer.
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you gals are so young. I feel guilty complaining. But for the peripheral neuropathy the best advice I ever got was to take l-glutamine and B6. There is some literature on it. I have the crumpled socks feeling and shooting tingles but not so bad
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I had a terrible weekend pain from lymph node removal..so annoying it makes it so hard to be happy. I dont exercise on weekends and I think I need to to keep everything flowing.
Hair...well yes very happy to have it back but mine is a curly dry mess too. I havent been dry ironing...because i burnt my scalp the first time I tried...loser...Im getting it coloured and trimmed every four weeks. It will take a while but I think we will get nice hair soon. I decided not to take AI so its not a lack of estrogen side effect to blame for my dry hair.
Hang in there Cajun☺
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Shopgal, my condolences for your loss, especially after your long and trying year of treatments.
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Leaving tomorrow 6AM for the 5+ hour drive to my dear sister-in-law's funeral. Luckily husband will be behind the wheel; I couldn't do it. She had been fighting lung cancer for over four years -- non-smoker and no risk factors; stage 4 from the start, at least partly because the health center docs refused to order a simple chest xray months earlier, just wrote antibiotics again and again for "bronchitis". Because she lived so far away, I only got to visit a few times a year, although I've always felt she was the sister I never had. Ok yes I let "other things in life" get in the way, because I too often felt there would always be "time later". How stupid and selfish that was
But those times we did manage to meet up (especially just the two of us) we made some great memories When my own cancer was diagnosed, she was a tremendous support right from the start, insisting YES YOU CAN BEAT THIS: survive chemo, kill off that infection, learn to wrap that lymphedema... My mantra through the worst parts was I've GOT TO survive this, so I can go hug her in person again. And I did --- as soon as my granulocytes bounced back after my last chemo. We couldn't stop hugging and laughing
All this year we phoned often, and I sent her all the funny owl and cat postcards I could find (her favorites). A few weeks ago I had a trip; planning it, I had discussed with SIL do I visit on my way out? ( I changed planes in her city). She said no, on the way back; that way I could show her my photos, and she could reminisce about her own trip there years back. So that's how I booked my flights. But in the wee hours of the night before I left, this wonderful, loving woman died peacefully in her sleep. Hopefully she is in a better place, and free of suffering, and able to be happy again... I feel ashamed of how upset and scared I've been; my SIL faced all her difficulties with a calm, quiet courage that I still have not learned0 -
tessu, I'm so sorry for the loss of someone so near and dear to your heart.
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Thanks, cajun. Tomorrow is going to be hard
But lucky I don't wear makeup --- haven't for many years (allergies), so at leastI don't have to worry about "raccoon eyes" from mascara running from my tears 0 -
Tessu so sorry to hear that things are so difficult. I think we tend to cherish those around us and feel more helpless during our recovery. I am sure that your SIL knows of your love and they will welcome your support at the funeral.
Cinque: I hear ya chicka. Any chance you can swim? I have been getting in the pool and moving my arms it seems to be helping.
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tessu ❤️❤️
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today 1 year ago I was getting my first ac chemo. I went back to work today after having off the week for my moms passing. It was hard and a long day. I had a lot of mixed emotions thinking about last year and the events of the last 2 weeks. I've decided the fall months suck big time. 2017 has to be better right?
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((((shopgal)))) here is hoping your rainbow comes soon. Xo
I'm walking with a friend who was dx in June. They thought she was stage 1, then 2b, now looking like 3c. She has a 9 y.o. son. I feel so helpless. She is in the dark.
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Tessu Im so sorry you lost your SIL. Life is so unfair although she has left this world I think you will draw inspiration from her and continue to fight through your own illness. When you are diagnosed you think you have got enough shit to deal with and life should give you a break but it doesnt loved ones die, people in your life get sick, divorce etc etc. good things happen too and we must not take them for granted. Love and courage especially over these difficult days. Wish I could hug you...we all need hugs. Xxxx
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((((shopgal)))) I sincerely hope 2017 is gentler with you --- and with all of us ((((hugs))))
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(((Tessu))) and (((Shopgal)))) and all of you!
Octogirl
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Tessu- I know it is hard to see someone you love struggle and die from lung cancer. It is an awful disease that generally shows up only in advanced stages. My father and other relatives died of it- they were all smokers. No one, especially non-smokers deserve the horror of this disease. At least with breast cancer, there are effective treatments and we band together. Lung cancer is hard. Know that I love you and feel your pain. I have learned the hard way, we can't put things off. We do the best we can and move on. Much love to you tessu.
Shop gal - hang in there. It slowly gets better- it never disappears but it does get better.
Happy note: I finally finished all my cancer treatment! 19 rads sessions including 4 boosts and I am done. I have a radiation "open area" that is weepy and gross but am treating it and see the rad onc next week about it but I'm done with hand to hand combat. And am even getting along with the dreaded MO now that we don't have to struggle against each other all the time.
Cajun queen- just be there for your friend. Help her with hurdles you see in her way. That is all we can do for the people we love who join this horrible, but utterly fashionable club.
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yay grey! So happy for you. Knew you could do it
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grey --- so very glad to hear you've made it through treatment!!! I sincerely hope your life gets easier now, and that you never ever need bc treatment again!!! (((hugs)))
And thank you for your kind words. My SIL's funeral yesterday was rough, but provided closure. I am glad my SIL is at peace now, and free from the frustrating immobility and loneliness that were so difficult for her this summer. And I finally "get it" --- funerals truly are only for those you leave behind. I told my husband he can do --- or not do --- whatever he wants when my time comes. That she died of cancer hit me very hard, which is so selfish of me, but maybe that will push me to go forward and more activelyenjoy what time I do have left.
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Congratulations Grey you made it through, Im really proud of you☺
On a lighter note was having lunch with my son and his girlfriend today. He paused looked at me and said is that your hair...it looks like its growing out of your head. Yes it is my hair...It's back looking like its messy self he cheekily said...best feeling ever.
Take heart girls another week of healing coming up.
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Grey, I'm so glad you made it through your treatments! We were all so worried about you for a while there.
Tessu, I'm so very sorry for your loss.
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Good Morning Ladies,
I have kept up with reading everyone's posts. Not sure what I would have done the last year without all of you. Thank you all.
Tessu so sorry for your loss. It's even harder to loose someone since DX, especially to cancer. Wish I had some magic words that could help. A friend (someone I got to know after I was DX last august) passed away a few weeks ago. She had stomach cancer and had been fighting it for 4 years, she was a very positive person and really thought she was going to beat it. I had prayed and hoped she would. Her passing hit me like a brick. So I cant imagine how you feel ....hugs
Grey so happy you got through all your treatments. Hope you soon heal.
Shopgal sorry for your loss.
Wondering if anyone else is having major flash backs, Fall was my favorite time of the year. I was DX August 8th 2015 and had 2 surgeries and started AC in Sept. And I am having some anixety the last few weeks! My first mammogram is scheduled for Sept 14th and I am really scared. Just wondering if I am the only one feeling this way??? I Know god is in control and not alot I can do except have faith and pray and of course be positive. And I truly believe if god wants me healed I will be ........just cant help to be scared..... Wondering if I will always feel this way......
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