Starting Chemo September 2015; join us!
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best news all day, inSF !!!
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Great news InSF!!!!!!!
Oh right Cajun glad you are feeling better!
I have survivorship nurse apts that I am using to help me figure this communication problem out. I finally got in to get my neck and super clavicle nodes ultra sounded. Only took 2 friggin weeks. The swollen nodes I had were symmetrical so they didn't appear suspicious so that is good news. I may still be fighting a sinus thing because the nodes are still swollen and I have ..uhhh yellow snot. I see my ONC this Friday and she can check me again.
I am adding sambucus (elder berry) to my arsenal and maybe lisine to help my immune system and kick this cold or sinus thing I have had for over a month.
gosh i love this!
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inSF- so happy for your good news. What a relief.
I just had my 6 month mammo (on cancer free side) and my 6 month bloodwork and MO check in.
Was called back for more mammo pics as radiologist saw something. Holy cow! I had significant PTSD. After an hour of anguish and additional 3D mammo pics I was told alll is fine. I unexpectedly started to cry with the good news. Then got to my car and cried all the way home.
Blood work was all good. Next visit is 6 months. It's been 2 years since diagnosis. I'm grateful for the good care I receive and for no C return. This anniversary was a hard one though.
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Shelly, I'm sure it unleashed a whole host of emotions that were percolating and just waiting for a trigger. News of any sort about cancer is stressful!
It's really hard to not feel like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop, especially when my crazy lifestyle does not permit me to do everything I can to reduce recurrence. I sleep when I can, exercise when I can and eat what is around me at my desk, in the car, etc. I am always running - literally (so maybe that counts as daily exercise). The preschool years, though wonderful, leave my stress level riding high most days and I am having to bear down on discipline due to lax attitude about it during the toddler years/cancer treatment. I drink enough coffee for 3 people every day.
The after-effects of cancer treatment linger on and on as I find myself crippled with big decisions to make. Do I pay out of pocket for abdominal surgery that my insurance won't cover? Do I dare quit my job or go on my own and lose my insurance? IS THE CANCER COMING BACK????
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Cajun - I admire you so. I have followed your story since we began this rotten cancer path. While I'm sure you feel you are never doing enough, I see what a beautiful job you are doing. Look at all you have managed! Having young children surely has made it more difficult. The energy they require is daunting, I'm sure. I see you being inspired by them however, and that gives you even more motivation and tenacity. You are so blessed to have them and your DH. Your words over these past months show me a wonderful mother who has high expectations and works very hard to achieve. You are teaching your children so much. I hope that you will keep your tenacity but also allow yourself some grace and peace. Have you considered a reduced schedule or trying a part time nanny to help out? Despite your feelings of helplessness, at times I have no doubt you will continue to conquer and achieve...inspiring us and those who know youbwellalong the way.
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That is SO sweet, Shelly, thank you! It really means a lot. Two days ago, I made a conscientious decision that I will be joyful irrespective of people and circumstances. I can't control others or my cancer, but I can enjoy life irrespective of it all. When I start to spiral downward, I just tell myself I am happy and "X" cannot change that. God has a plan and His plan is on track no matter what else is going on in my life. Here we are on my birthday at my husband's work dinner. So blessed to have made another trip around the sun! I had just turned 35 when I had my suspicious mammogram. And now I'm 37 and my son will be 3 this weekend! Funny story about that night. I was approached in the ladies room by a woman who said she loved my hair, she thought it was so great... was it natural? I laughed. I said it sure is natural, courtesy of chemo!
I have a new saying, thanks to my children. "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."
Happy Friday, ladies! I hope you are feeling well and living life to the fullest. Xo.
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Cajun, what a lovely photo --- you're shining with happiness!
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Beautiful photo Cajun! Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks, ladies! Plugging along.
Shelly, how has your DIEP flap gone? I have a friend who just had her BMX who chose that option and I don't know anyone that did anything other than implants, so I would be interested to hear about your experience.
The issue with a reduced schedule is that it isn't really an option for litigation attorneys. I have been looking for a part time job for a long time, but all I get are full time offers. We also would not be able to afford the private religious school we love. I did get permission to leave work a little before 3 on non court-days to accommodate my children's VPK schedule, but that puts me getting up at 6 to get the kids out the door before 7:30. We had a nanny that we loved, but she left for more money and we can't afford it with school now. I also carry the top notch health insurance for all of us. I figure I will just go, go, go until I fall over at which point I will quit my job and put the kids in public school, or I will just go, go, go until they start college, lol.
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of course I just had to go back and check my blood work from 6/23. Prolia should lower your calcium levels but mine is increasing and teetering on the precipice of too high. my alk phos, on the other hand, is steadily decreasing and almost on the too low end. neither one of these things is normal or good. anyone else dealing with this? I'm officially going to bed now.
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hi Cajun, I am very happy with my Diep flap. It was a painful recovery but well worth it. Feels normal and looks decent. I had a very good plastic surgeon so I was lucky. Wierdly thankful that I had enough belly fat to have the procedure.
I didn't not that Prolia zaps a petson's calcium. Hmmmm. I have a friend who is stage 4. She just bought a water treatment machine hat converts the alkaline level of her tap water. I'm sure you've read about acid v alkaline levels. Apparently cancer cells love acid. I understand the higher alkaline level has many pluses. It's too soon to tell for her but I am watching closely. Will consider doing same.
Cajun --it seems you have tough lifestyle choices to make. Perhaps your health and time with your kids trumps all? You will find a good solution but it will require some sacrifices. I know it's hard to give things up when you have worked so hard to get where you are. Perhaps there is a different career/job in store for you. ((Hugs))
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Hi Shelly. If you are trying to reach an alkaline state but don't want to spend the money on a water trx system, baking soda has a similar effect. I drink it in water and also in coffee (I am a coffee addict).
Still working. I know that if I give this up, I won't get it back. I have relaxed some since my initial panic.
Hope all you ladies are doing well!
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Cajun,
I have struggled with some of my blood work but I have not dealt with the calcium levels being high or the PHOS. Mostly anemia and lowered WBC. I hope they figure that out so you do not have to worry about it any more.
Cajun & Shelly,
I try and do that baking soda drink as well. helps with digestion along with lemon water with ACV.
Had a node biopsy on one if my lymph nodes in my neck (2cm), probably nothing since they were swollen on both sides of my neck, but we are making sure. THAT was an experience I won't forget! Anyone else here had this done or have had troubles with extended colds or swollen nodes?
We are waiting on results, we should get them today or tomorrow. Will keep you posted
oh and......last Friday I finally got my port out! YES!!
Alicia
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El Tigre- I had upper respiratory (sinus infection) in November 2016, January 2017, February 2017 and again in May 2017!!! The each lasted about 7-10 days. I also, found a enlarged (swollen) lymph node around (Oct 2016) on the left side of my neck below my ear, which is also a little less than 2 cm. I showed it to my Primary Care Doctor, my radiologist, my oncologist and the Breast surgent!!!! Each told me they didnt "think" it was worrisome. It felt and looked "OK". But i was scared, and worried about it, so finally my breast surgent scheduled a ultra sound and biopsy. But after the radiologist did the ultra sound he did not feel that there was any reason to biopsy the lymph node.......he gave me a list of reasons. All sounded good until I had left and got home and became worried again! Its still there, feels like its the same size and shape when i feel it which I do often!! Every time I get a cold, sore throat, hoarse I kinda freak out.....Also, I still have MY PORT too but its all ok as long as I here with my family, I am happy! Whats the baking soda drink? What does it do?
Canjun- I was wondering if you have finished the Afinitor? My last day was June 20th and honestly I having a problem with NOT taking it. I feel like if it was going to help, Why stop giving it to us? I thought the afinitor was making my hot flashes worse and i was blaming it for my fatigue and joint pain, but its all the same a month later. So who knows I may not even been getting the real thing.
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Hi tkemp, I just got results - NORMAL! My onc did it to put both of our minds at ease. I also had a list of reasons why it was nothing but wanted to make sure. The biopsy included lidocaine which was a painful shot but other than that it was nothing so if you decide to your doc decides to have you go in the only discomfort I had was the numbing shot.
Yes i do worry every time i get sick, I never used to so it's a big change for me. Mine also included head cold and sinus infection. My neck nodes were symmetrically swollen to about 2cm, still are. I will miss my port but i don't miss the flushes every 4-6 weeks
Baking soda is supposed to help alkaline your system which helps prevent cancer since it is supposed to only exist in an acidic environment. I'm not sure how effective it is but I try it every so often.
I hope you had your last sinus infection, I hate those and they seem like they are so tough to get rid of.
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El Tigre- Sorry very glad everything was normal!!!
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praise the Lord for that good news Alicia!!! I was feeling very anxious so I had to scroll down immediately to see if you had posted. Whew. you've been deported! I am having mine removed 8/1.
I absolutely miss my afinitor and I had the same thoughts about it that it was causing the fatigue and recurrent infections etc . Not so. I am sitting in the parking lot waiting on an antibiotic for yet another UTI. In fact I had such a negative reaction to stopping the trial that I begged my doctor to keep me on afinitor and he gave me a list of reasons why that was not a good idea, which I did not want to hear, and persisted until finally I gave up and just cried for two days. I actually would keep taking it if given the option. I took my last dose in May. I definitely feel like I lost a tool in my tool kit. But then again the hardest thing about this process is to surrender, especially if you are a type A personality like me. I will pray that that burden eases up for you. And although I don't feel that low level of nausea all day, I still have no appetite, and everything tastes bad.
Hugs, ladies!
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Thank you, I was sure that it would come back normal but i have thought that before. You never know.
I'm so sorry cajun, i know that fear of having one less weapon against this. After a little bit you will feel better about it. Look forward to food tasting better and better and being deported
. I still have the steri-strips but they are almost ready to fall off. I look forward to getting that scare to fade away along with my fears of recurrence. I did have some phantom nerve pain in that area so just a heads ups. I was awake and found it interesting to hear what the 6'4" doc dude was doing as he was doing it, but I'm kinda weird that way.
Alicia
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Well, I survived surgery. Seriously, I almost chickened out and tore the IV out. It took forever for them to sedate me, which was just long enough for me to work myself up into a serious pre-op panic. I awoke in a bad state and they had to put me under a second time! Aye! I am a few days out and have minimal pain, but I just feel BAD. Terrible headache yesterday and just spacey, dizzy and unwell today. It reminds me of chemo. I am just so ready for it to be over, so patience is clearly needed in this situation. Everyone keeps saying, "but you are at the end!" but I just feel like poo. Tomorrow I am hosting a big birthday party for the kids and school starts next week. Cancer is so very inconvenient.
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good for you. I agree Cancer is so inconvenient!
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Cancer is very inconvenient. The treatment is awful and exhausting but somehow we have pushed through. I hope you stop feeling like poo soon. You are truly brave hosting a kids birthday party I remember doing that...fun times.
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Cajun - at least that part is over. forward moving
hopefully you will feel better soonThe zofran they give us for anti nausea for some of these surgeries is the worst! I get lingering headaches for a few days on that stuff
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Cajun - sorry to hear about the difficult surgery. I have also become prone to pre-procedure panic. Not every time, but it sucks anyway. I think of myself as being very logical and rational, but the cancer process has lingering emotional effects we can't always control. Take time to remind yourself of the amazing things you accomplish every day - work, kids, exercise...
Something I've been thinking about lately is the huge toll that repeated general anesthesia has on our bodies. I'm certainly not arguing against it - it's pretty amazing in terms of the benefit. But it is also very, very disruptive. I saw a sleep therapist who told me that for some people it takes a full month for their sleep to recover from general anesthesia. It's something I underwent 6 times in a year and a half. And it's nowhere near the worst of the treatments and complications we have all dealt with.
Although it often feels like all the bad is permanent, I still hope that little by little we all feel better, as the immense physical and emotional trauma gets further behind us.
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((((hugs for Cajun))))
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Thanks, ladies! General anesthesia really does take its toll, especially when you undergo so many procedures in such a short period of time. Although physically I feel fine, emotionally, I still feel a little depressed and unstable, which I definitely suspect is from the surgery or from the fact that I can't exercise at all, as a result of the surgery.
When I saw my surgeon for my second follow-up and asked about exercise, he said not for 3 weeks, and warned me against an infection. He said if there is a problem, he would have to remove the implant, put a TE in, and start over and I said, "NO WAY." If there is a problem, you take them both out, I am ALL DONE.
For those still awaiting reconstruction or other assorted procedures, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Thanks for checking in so that I know you are okay!
I have days where I see that cancer has given me a better perspective on a lot of things and pushed me more towards God and days where I still feel scared that this could all be for nothing.
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I had a gastroscopy today for stomach pain that has been plaguing me since spring. Thought I might have an ulcer from taking so much naprosyn for my back pain sciatica and headaches. But no, gastroscopy looked normal, and the doc refused to send me for any other tests to find out why the heck I've been hurting so much, suggested maybe something from my back which I seriously doubt
Doc only asked questions, didn't examine me except to do the scope Doctors suck sometimes! Feeling scared because husband is pressuring me to agree to a four-week (!) trip to the other side of the planet in just over a month, but I'm scared to go with these pains going on and unexplained Sorry I realize this probably is horribly rude to complain about a possible "dream vacation" but I just wish the tour company would go out of business tomorrow so I don't have to have arguments with my husband (who feels I'm exaggerating/making up all the stupid pains I've been having since spring I honestly just want to hide in my bed under the covers 0 -
Tess
Demand a PET scan...I went for my 6 months checkup and told the doctor about back pain and aching legs...he blew it off now 6 months later...I found out I have mets to my right femur...Hope yours is nothing but you need to be tested...praying for you..
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Tess, I get it. I am on vacation right now myself....but the aches and pains really interfere with my ability to enjoy it! The PTSD anxiety doesn't exactly help either. I agree that you should ask your MO for a scan for your piece of mind....or go elsewhere for a second opinion? (Not sure how all of that works in Finland).
Other than anxiety, I am doing pretty well...sending hugs and healing thoughts to all!
Octogirl
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motherofmany and Octogirl thank you both for your kind comments. It's been a few days and I've been able to get some hold of myself again. I've decided to wait until my 2-yr control next month to ask about any further studies. Odd but my stomach pains have significantly eased over the weekend, just heartburn off/on now not the lower abdominal stuff. To stop the arguments over the upcoming trip told husband ok I'll go --- there is no other option available to me. I survived chemo, which lasted much longer, so I can and will survive this. (My new mantra : "I survived chemo, so I can certainly do ____.")
The only private sector PET scans are at the one private cancer hospital, 450 km away in the capital. After the trip if I am still worried, I might consider trying to arrange that.
I realized part of why I've hit bottom lately is that I stopped walking regularly after I was on activity rest for three weeks while my knee meniscal tear healed --- last May! --- and I stopped spending time in the local forests, which have always been my place for destressing. And I haven't recovered from losing my dear dog last December. She was the one keeping me physically active, and my source of unconditional love and happy tail wags. I had been sad that my son's fiance's serious dog allergy and astma would prevent me from ever being able to have another dog (saw her get hives from just pettimg the neighbor's puppy last month) but my usually nonsupportive husband (who I guess has recognized how depressed I've been lately) surprised me by saying that yes, we could have another dog someday anyway. Whether or not we will, just being able to fantasize about the possibility of getting another dog is helping me feel a little bit better. Also, I'm forcing myself to exercise regularly again, because I have gotten really weak and my balance is off. Telling myself I need to strengthen myself so I could keep up with a new puppy (because telling myself I need strength to face any possible relapse wasn't working).
So thank you. Sending ((((hugs))))
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Tessu....I am sorry....I know you loved that dog!
I can't remember if you've posted previously on this thread: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/58/topics... (Let's post our daily exercise)...but it might help you get motivated to walk or otherwise exercise regularly....I find it helpful even though right now my knees prevent much walking at all. Please join us over there. Exercise definitely helps my state of mind...hope it does the same for you!
And have a wonderful trip! Would love to hear all about it.
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