patty
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Patty posted a few hours ago on her FaceBook page:
To all my friends and family who continually check on me - I AM still alive !!!! Tis cancer battle has been so very hard and only gets harder. Please keep me and my family in your prayers. Although it feels like God is not doing anything to make this easier on us I know it could always be worse. Thanks for your love and support
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Thank you, Madelyn for the update.
Patty, hang on to faith. Hugs
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Sending a hug
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My heart hurts for you Patty.....Thinking of you and hoping for a reprieve for you. You need and deserve it.
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Mominator thank you for passing on Patty's message.
God Bless You Patty.
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Hi Patty,
The dry desert air is blowing this way and the parched earth has withered the green grass gold.
Yesterday, I visited a sculpture garden in an oak woodland. This sculpture reminded me of you - open, fun, receptive and so very, very strong!
Also, the surfaces - blue and mirrored metal reminded me how sea and sky meet at the horizon - like a desert mirage.
Patty, I'm sending warm healing love for you and your guys.
May you find moments of joy and relief in your days and nights, Stephanie
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praying for you and your family. This sucks butt. I'm sending you big, gentle, hugs! Hang in there friend. Dig deep
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Hi Patty. Just checking on you.
Mom - thanks for the update.
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Hi friends. Haven't logged in for awhile. Just too exhausted. Am pleasantly surprised at the continued support. I love you guys.
Warning: Whiny rant below.
Wish I had some good news but the battle continues to be uphill. I am in pain all day every day. Family says Even when I sleep I cry, moan and move constantly. I seen mo on Friday. He changed some of my pain meds and increased others. My boys are out of school and I need pain relief !!!! And energy. !! It feels like the end of the road. My body and mind is completly worm out. My family is ready as possible to let me go to heaven to just be out of pain. It hurts so to hear that but I totally understand what they are saying. I worry so much for my boys and dh. Although there is nothing I can do about it. Being out of control just sucks. I used to worry for my ds's that losing their mom when they are still so young will leave them so messed up but now I worry even more that watching me like this daily is messing them up more. At least when I am gone they can hopefully begin to heal. No more worrying everyday they are gonna find me dead when they wake. My oldest pretty much refuses to leave my side period for that fear he won't be here when I die. Ds2 try's to keep everyone uplifted and I've no idea how he is dealing with this. The counselor helps him but ds1 refuses to talk to him. My dh gets left with trying to keep everything going. I certainly do t envy him for what he is having to deal with now and after my death. I have no idea how to make it easier for him. Although he doesn't complain he has bleeding ulcers and is nearly always sick to his stomach. He tries to hide it but I can hear his vomiting. I am ready to quit. It's just too hard for me and too hard on my family. The scary thing is even if I quit tx tomorrow there is no telling how long it will take to die. I would love to have a day with my closest family and friends. Then load up on pain meds and have some wine. Just lay down and go to sleep. And be done with this battle But I WONT!!!!! No way would I want my boys to some how find out I don't want them to even consider suicide as n option EVER So ill remind myself God is in control not me
Rant over. Sorry.
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My little Peppermint.... Just know honey, that I understand. And you are right.... You could stop taking your meds, but that won't bring an end to your pain and worry.... Probably make it all worse..... I guess you could say we are all "waiting".... waiting until we don't have to suffer, or see our loved ones go through so much.
None of us know "why"..... Why the sun comes up for some of us, and why there is so much pain for our friends, and family.... I guess we just have to believe that there is a "reason".... Don't let go little one..... You are always in my thoughts, even out there working in my gardens...
We will all hold you up.... even when you just want to lay down and go to sleep. Love you little Sister.... xoxoxox
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And now I think I'll just go sit outdoors with my coffee, and cry. Just WHY Lord?
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Oh Patty, just sending love and hugs.
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Patty, thanks so much for the update even if it is not the news we wanted to hear. My heart breaks reading your honest words. I pray that you get some relief from this horrible pain. We completely understand your feelings. We are sending you prayers and keeping you close in our thoughts.
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My heart is heavy for you Patty. I walk the same road and hear your pain and fear and sadness. Hugs sister and great love your way. Being a parent and having cancer is awful. It's so hard. Do you have a Fentynl patch? Did you see a pain specialist. It sucks to hurt and to cry. I feel so badly and am sending you prayers and all the love I can muster. Prayers for you and your precious family. Love your way. rosevalley
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My sweet Patty, it breaks my heart to read your update. We all know you're doing the very best you can and more. I completely understand your state of mind and I appreciate your honesty. I'm holding your hand in spirit, praying you find relief.
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Patty, sweet friend,
My heart breaks reading your words. I do not want my family to watch me suffer, nor do I want to.
If I lived in one of the states that offered DWD, I would be the first in line. I just don't think of that as suicide. It's more like protecting your family & your self. I hope to be able to have some control when it gets closer.
My Cancer has spread like wildflowers. Liver, spine, ilium, scapula & ribs.
Patty, I wish I had the perfect words. You have touched my heart over the last several years. Love your spunk, humor. Wish there was more we could do here to make things easier. Much love, Holeinone
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Hi there, Sweet Patty. My heart and stomach hurt reading your post ( yours too, Rose and Hiho). I understand. There will be a day when there will be no more pain and suffering for us or our love ones. We will be in His loving arms. This is our hope and promise that give us strength and the peace to move forward. I join Ms. Chevy in spirit this morning to cry out to Him. Love you, my sister in Christ.
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Patty, your courage and selflessness are second to none. Even when in such pain you are worrying about everyone else. Hopefully your doctor will find something that works well for you and provides relief. Please forgive me - I've taken the liberty of mentioning a few options below that you may wish to discuss with your doctor. You may also seriously want to consider a pain pump, and if you do not already have a Palliative Care Team to make you as comfortable as possible, then please consider speaking with your doctor about providing one.
I hope that your pain gets under control very soon, and that as a result, you will be able to begin to enjoy your days again.
With the gentlest of hugs.
- Strong Opioid medications include Morphine (Avinza, Ms Contin, others), Oxycodone (OxyContin, Roxicodone, others), hydromorphone (Dilaudid, Exalgo), Fentanyl (Actiq, Fentora, Subsys [an under-the-tongue spray] and others), Methadone (Dolophine, Methadose) Oxymorphone (Opana), and Tapentadol (Nucynta).
- Some others are:
- Targiniq ER, which was FDA-approved in 2014, is a new opioid that is an extended-release/long-acting opioid analgesic to treat pain severe enough to require daily, around-the-clock, long-term opioid treatment and for which alternative treatment options are inadequate." Targiniq ER has properties that are expected to deter, but not totally prevent, abuse of the drug by snorting and injection. In addition, the Naloxone in Targiniq ER blocks the euphoric effects of oxycodone and helps circumvent the constipation that usually accompanies the ingestion of opioids.
- Zohydro ER is a new extended-release, oral opioid indicated for the management of pain severe enough to require daily, around-the-clock, long-term opioid treatment.
- Hysingla ER is another strong opioid, which has the same active ingredient (hydrocodone) as Zohydro ER, the only other approved extended-release hydrocodone product.There are important differences between the two drugs.Hysingla ER has approved abuse-deterrent labeling, while Zohydro ER does not. Also, Hysingla ER is taken every 24 hours, whereas Zohydro ER is taken every 12 hours, and therefore comes in lower dosage strengths.
- Nerve Blocks (including Epidurals): Specialized treatment involving the injection of a nerve-numbing substance may be used. This may help prevent pain messages traveling along that nerve pathway from reaching the brain.
- Pain Pump: A pain pump may be a viable consideration when oral and IV pain medications fail to control pain adequately.The pain pump is an implanted drug infusion system that releases prescribed amounts of pain medication directly to the pain receptors (nerves) near the spine.The entire system consists of a pump and a catheter. The pump, whose purpose is to store and deliver pain medication, is surgically placed in the abdomen. The catheter is inserted into the intrathecal (spinal canal) space surrounding the spinal cord. The catheter is then connected to the drug pump.The doctor fills the pump with pain medication using a needle. The pump sends the medication through the catheter directly to the spinal area where pain receptors are located. Patients return to their doctor for more medicine when the pump needs to be refilled.Before having the pump implanted, an epidural screening test provides a temporary evaluation period so that patients can determine whether the targeted drug delivery truly relieves the pain.It is worthy to note that the system can be turned off, or surgically removed, if eventually desired.
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Patty, so sorry you are having such a hard time. As a mother also, it is very difficult to know what is the best thing to do. I think Mothers feel like they always must take care of the family no matter what the circumstances are. God is in control, have faith that he does have a plan. Praying for you.
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Miss Patty,
You're surrounded by love here. I hope that your pain will soon be under control so you can enjoy your beautiful family.
(((Hugs)))
Rose.
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((patty))
I have no great words of wisdom, just sending love and prayers. I hate to see that yoy are suffering, I hope you see Bestbirds recommendations before your next visit.
I'm keeping your boys in prayer too.
Muwah
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Dear Patty, My heart just aches for you and I wish there was something in my power to help you. Just my prayers and letting you now how much we all care about you is all I can offer.....I remeber the other day Woody posted your Facebook message that you wondered why god doesn't seem to want to help us. I really took that to heart as I have never been very religious to begin with. And although I want to believe in him and his compassion, mercy and capacity to perform miracles, I too have asked the same question. I can only hope beyond words that we will be given the answer some day and in the meantime you find some peace and comfort.
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Patty
You are and have been in my prayers. You have such strength. May God bless you and give you some relief from your pain because I hear your worry more for your boys and husband than for yourself.
Perhaps one of the suggestions Bestbird posted for pain relief will help. I would have to ask my Dr why in this day and age you can't be more pain free.
I will continue to keep you and your precious famiy in my prayer.s
Rosieo
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Many gentle (((HUGS))), dear Patty. That wasn't a rant from you, but a cry for help.
I hope that the new medications/new doses kick in soon. If you are still in so much pain that you are considering giving up, then your pain needs stronger relief.
I agree with Bestbird that a Palliative Care Team may be very helpful. I've seen the benefits of Palliative Care, and it is amazing.
Surrounding you with love and light.
Madelyn
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Patty,
Sending love and hugs and prayers. I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. I wish for you some relief from the pain and a chance to have some quality time with your family. I hope that they can figure out a way to get on top of the pain, so that you don't have to suffer so. My heart is heavy for you. I hope that you can feel the love of your family and all of us, and of God, surrounding you right now. We are with you in spirit, dear sister, always thinking of you and sending our love, light and prayers.
Much love and gentle hugs,
Amy
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Patty
. When my sweet MIL was declining with stage 4 her family waited far too late to ask for care.
Everyone, my dear MIL included, was in denial.
Because of this she never got any palliative care and was unconscious by the time she was receiving hospice.
You and your family are much more open in acknowledging your true state of health. Please don't wait to ask for help. Your DH is amazing but he is bearing so much too. When nurses come in to help they are not bearing all that and can take some of your little cares away to lighten the load.
I really hope you can get better pain relief too dear Patty.
XXX
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Oh dear Patty, such painful times for your family and you.
Your physical cancer pain is terrible, but the emotional pain of witnessing your DDs and DH suffering must be nearly unbearable.
Like others, I encourage you to lean on your palliative care team for physical pain relief. And to find out if they have familial/social support.
My hospice team includes a nurse, social worker, chaplain, therapist and doctor that I engage to help those around me, as well as myself. All aspects of my life need tender tending now. And I know that my carers can receive bereavement counseling after my death, which relieves me of an unspoken burden.
And you have us surrounding you with long-distance healing love and light.
I'm praying for your release from suffering, dear Patty.
beaming more your way from California, Stephanie
Here's a flower blooming in my landlady's garden - Puya from S. America. May wonders and miracles never cease.
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Patty, my heart broke reading about your son not wanting to leave your side and your DS always sick to his stomach/vomiting. My DH does that too when he is worried or hears bad news about me.
I hate that you are in so much pain. It sounds like a prison. I hope the docs can get the pain meds tweaked to make you more comfortable.
Hoping for a ray of sunlight for you amongst these dark skies.
Stephanie - that blue flower is beautiful!
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Patty. I'm so sorry. I feel your pain, grief and fear. I hope you can get your pain under control soo
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Sending love your way.
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